Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Days Since JD Vance Insulted Women Across America: Zero

Let me file that under fuck it.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

If marriage is the equivalent of selling yourself into slavery, women with self respect should reject the offer.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Another CPAC, Another Show

Another CPAC, Another Show

by | 72 Comments

This post is in: , , , ,

And it’s time for one of their Big Annual Events, as described by Jim Newell in Salon:

The frigid Washington, D.C., metropolitan area is going to get a blast of hot air this week as the annual Conservative Political Action Conference begins. This is the big one, where every conservative entertainer/politician descends on the fake shopping town of National Harbor, Maryland, to give the same speech about how Barack Obama sucks. Hundreds and hundreds of pathetic political reporters, myself included, inexplicably make the choice to go cover it year after year instead of just watching it on CSPAN, because sometimes there are weird parties afterward. On the last day there is a straw poll that Rand Paul wins…

The American Conservative Union, which puts on the event, may have finally recognized the tedium of an uninterrupted procession of repetitive red-meat speeches. So, bless them, they’ve added some spice to the mix this year to make things more worthwhile for the paying customers. (It’s true: Outside of the media, there are real-life humans who pay actual American dollars to go to this thing. They travel for it. It is their vacation!)

This year, every speaker who’s considering a run for president will have to answer questions from the audience. “The horde of likely presidential contenders expected at this year’s Conservative Political Action Conference,” Politico reported late last month, “will be asked to deliver speeches about specific policy issues — rather than campaign-style stemwinders — and they’ll also face audience questions.”…

Speakers even have a choice for how awkward they’d like to make it on themselves. If they’d prefer, they can eschew the speech altogether and just do 20 minutes of Q&A. Yikes! One candidate who’s surprisingly taken them up on that offer is Jeb Bush, King of the RINO establishment devils. Yup: Jeb Bush spending 20 minutes taking questions from foot soldiers in the conservative movement…

And it would be pure entertainment for the rest of us, if not for the moneymen behind the curtain…

… This year’s gathering also will have a stronger focus on training activists to go home and engage in politics, whether that’s running for office or becoming a tracker of Democratic candidates. The theme is “Conservative Action Starts Here.”

Groups involved in facilitating those trainings include the youth-focused, Koch brothers-backed group Generation Opportunity; the Republican research-focused super PAC America Rising; Young Americans for Liberty; and American Majority, a conservative organizing group…

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    Chrs

    CPAC was on the same street that I lived on for three years.

    I mostly knew it through the eyes of the people I knew who attended – namely, College Republican types. So I always saw it as the ultimate expression of the full-of-$#!t nature of the conservative movement. Hundreds of young activists, brought together by their common belief that Washington is broken and must be drowned in a bathtub, are getting together in Washington to Meet Important People and try to mingle, schmooze and network their way into some position in the nexus of politicians, lobbyists, PACs, think tanks and government contractors that is Official Washington, where they will spend the rest of their lives, resolutely refusing to recognize that they are exactly what they claim to hate.

  3. 3.

    raven

    I guess it’s strange that I have two degrees and spent 20+ years in the field and I’ve never seen the show.

  5. 5.

    kindness

    A stronger focus training activists to go home and engage in politics

    Not sure writing more letters to the Editor saying Barack doesn’t love America is gonna help the clown car brigade.

  9. 9.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @dmsilev: Obama’s failure to fill the FEMA camps to 150% of planned capacity is my major beef with him.

    He needs to get his thin black ass in gear on that.

  14. 14.

    Mike in NC

    CPAC: hard to believe this gathering of wingnuts only happens annually. Seems more like a quarterly or monthly event designed to draw all the usual grifters and their marks.

    While out driving today I caught a radio ad for FreedomWorks, claiming that they are dedicated to fighting corruption in Congress. Irony is not dead.

  15. 15.

    jl

    @Chrs: If you want to get an easy long-term gig at some reactionary slush fund in Washington DC fighting to destroy Washington DC, seems to me it would be very important career move to attend conferences put on by reactionary slush funds in Washington DC about how to destroy Washington DC.

    So, I don’t know why you are hating those of our precious youth with an eye on the main chance doing the rational thing.

    Glad to hear about the Q&A’s. They will be a hoot. Will be interesting chance to compare and contrast lefty and reactionary PC.

    Was it CPAC where they tried to hold a session on conservative outreach to minorities,and some white guy doofus totally broke it up and smashed it to atoms by demanding why they were not talking about how much thanks the ‘blacks’ owed to the ‘whites’.

    Oh, I am so envious of the reactionaries. If only I could be one, then I could escape all this disruptive lefty PC BS. /snark.
    There is such a draconian party policy line on Keystone pipeline and health reform, I wonder if there will be any differences expressed at all. Not one single one. Which means no honest policy discussion at all on those topics either.

  16. 16.

    Calouste

    20 minutes of Q&A? It’s a basic skill for politicians to waffle through 20 minutes of questions without actually saying anything meaningful or tripping up. So expect most of the “candidates” to fail that test.

  17. 17.

    burnspbesq

    It’s easy to mock CPAC, but it’s worth remembering that a lot of important networking and strategizing takes place behind the scenes, and neither Democrats nor the left in general have anything like it.

  18. 18.

    jl

    @burnspbesq: Might be true. But to be fair, they are not distracted by substantive discussions of policies and facts either. At least not in public. Might be discussions about which dishonest BS tactic will work best in the quiet back rooms, though. Not sure I am envious of being part of a bunch like that.

  21. 21.

    Botsplainer

    Great place to pick up MILFs, if you’ve got the stomach to acquire credentials and listen to countless hours of jaw-dropping (yet simultaneously tedious) bullshit.

    Those women are bored shitless of their puffy, pasty husbands.

  22. 22.

    Patrick

    I loved Parks & Rec because it told an American story—of thankless lunatic townsfolk who wanted every public service & refused to pay for it

    It reminds me of all the Republicans who wanted the Iraq war & refused to pay for it. All they have wanted since the war started is tax cuts and defunding of the IRS.

  23. 23.

    yodecat

    “I loved Parks & Rec because it told an American story—of thankless lunatic townsfolk who wanted every public service & refused to pay for it

    — Jeb Lund (@Mobute) February 25, 2015”

    Sounds like Curry County here in Oregon. Or Josephine County which now days doesn’t even have a Sheriff, ’cause the loons could not stand an increase in taxes.

  24. 24.

    pseudonymous in nc

    The theme is “Conservative Action Starts Here.”

    As I’m sure the Craigslist postings for furtive frottage will prove.

  31. 31.

    Botsplainer

    @ranchandsyrup:

    The puke funnel only comes out when the Boehner cohort breaks out the Skyline (aka sloppy bad pastitsio with oyster crackers) to go with the Natty Light.

  35. 35.

    Bubblegum Tate

    I miss Parks & Recreation already. What an outstanding show–including a run as the best sitcom on TV. Pointing and laughing at CPAC will be amusing, but it’s no replacement.

  38. 38.

    sharl

    the fake shopping town of National Harbor, Maryland

    A very apt description by Mr. Newell of that very close-by venue. It reminds me of The Village in Patrick McGoohan’s late 60s series The Prisoner, but without any of the latter’s (artificial) quaint charm.

    If you ever have to go there – it will probably be for a meeting or conference (although some forms of gambling are also on their way, I think) – do NOT try to get creative with the parking to save a few bucks. You WILL get a ticket. It is no accident that there is no public transportation between Nat’l Harbor and the rest of the DC area, save for a water taxi over to Old Town Alexandria across the Potomac River in Virginia. If anyone actually invents the ‘Rover’ of that TV series for real, you can count on it being acquired by Nat’l. Harbor management and used for parking enforcement.

  39. 39.

    piratedan

    it’s the political equivalent of Mos Eisley, where lies are disseminated faster than the Falcon performed the Kessel Run.

  40. 40.

    Hungry Joe

    If one were to stroll though the event, what do suppose the percentage of no-questions-asked, Tucker Carlson-esque, instantly punchable faces would be? I’m thinking only around 75%. But then, I’m a pretty nice guy.

  41. 41.

    ruemara

    My parks & rec people watched that show religiously, then scrutinized it for accuracy. I had more than enough comedy in my stint watching local & regional politics to be able to watch.

    Instead CPAC thoughts, I’m going to spend as much time reviewing all these adorable puppy pictures I just found in our archive. Holy crap are these balls of fur cute. Plus, there’s this older dog whose expression can only be described as “pull the other paw, human”. Damn, puppies are awesome.

  42. 42.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @sharl:

    If anyone actually invents the ‘Rover’ of that TV series for real, you can count on it being acquired by Nat’l. Harbor management and used for parking enforcement.

    Drones.

  44. 44.

    danielx

    @Hungry Joe:

    The word you’re looking for is backpfeifengesicht, and yes, it is a perfect descriptor.

    @Ripley:

    I’ve heard CPAC is the place for young cons to get their freak on…they’ll never know back in Cedar Rapids, or Evansville, or Anniston, or wherever…..

  45. 45.

    geg6

    I think we should hang around the venue and run up to attendees and scream “Quit raping people!” Just to remind them that Breitbart is still dead. Good times.

  47. 47.

    Elmo

    Well crap. I was going to take my wife to dinner at McCormick & Schmick’s there (I know it’s a chain, don’t hate) this weekend. Got a very nice bonus at work and want to celebrate, and it’s one of her favorites.

    So. Looks like Ray’s instead!

  48. 48.

    Hungry Joe

    @danielx: 1) “backpfeifengesicht”! I’m forever in your debt. 2) Good god, I was BORN in Evansville, Indiana. (Though I’ve lived in SoCal for many decades.) Did you just pull that out of your fedora?

  49. 49.

    meander

    I have seen every episode of Parks and Rec (and episodes from earlier seasons more than once), and I don’t recall any episodes where “want[ing] every public service & refus[ing] to pay for it” were key themes. Sure, the public forums were parades of unhinged people, but not ranting about taxes. The only episode that I can recall was tax-related was when Leslie proposes to tax the giant sodas at Paunch Burger and that stirs up lots of trouble and talk of a recall.

  50. 50.

    Major Major Major Major

    @Botsplainer: It’s a great place for their shiftless, pasty husbands to pick up some boy toys, too.

    Seriously, craigslist goes nuts during CPAC and the RNC (the closet cases aren’t aware of Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, and whatever else the kids are using these days…)

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @geg6:

    I think we should hang around the venue and run up to attendees and scream “Quit raping people!” Just to remind them that Breitbart is still dead. Good times.

    Dibs on screaming “Behave yourself!!”

  58. 58.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    Bella Q: I will likely be driving through SW OH in mid- or late September. Would live to meet you. Am also planning to include southern Illinois, in hopes of meeting JeffreyW and Tommy. As the itinerary unfolds, with dates, I’ll ask Anne Laurie to do a Siubhan in the Midwest meetup thread.

  60. 60.

    Joe F

    It is a meaningless event that maybe just outpaces the Westminster Dog Show. It would be better to just ignore the whole circus, it is more like an Elks Club meeting, only pasted with racial and nativist grievances. This event gets so much press, but it practically has no impact on our political process, even the overall clown car cavalcade

  61. 61.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @WaterGirl:

    I won’t at all — that would be great to meet you! I guess I never knew where you lived! Maybe there are others in the general vicinity. As I drive on my vacations, I am always prepared, within reason, to alter my route for the pleasure of meeting fellow Juicers.

  63. 63.

    WaterGirl

    @SiubhanDuinne: One of the Jen’s lives here in C-U, too. Not JenJen, maybe TooManyJens? (C-U is Champaign-Urbana)

    If you met with BGinCHI in Chicago, we would be completely on your way to Southern Illinois.

  65. 65.

    Lurking Canadian

    @Major Major Major Major: I lived in Philly when the RNC rolled in (2000, maybe?). The sheer tonnage of ads for escorts in the local paper that weekend should have ended all talk of “family values” once and for all. Those entrepreneurs and entrepreneuses certainly expected the Rs to get their freak on in a big way.

  66. 66.

    Sherparick

    This is why I get a little ticked at the Judean Liberation Front v. Popular Front for the Liberation of Judea flame wars, whether at each other or aimed at our center-left President because he failed to Green Hornet “Single Payer” into existence, enact a carbon tax, immigration reform, a close Guantanamo, and/or put the banksters in Guantanamo. Meanwhile, the real enemy is relentlessly building its machine, day in day out, every year, for the last 5 decades to get its voters out on election day and discourage our voters from coming out. Hence you get montrosities like Kansas, Wisconsin, North Carolina, and West Virginia (where only 37% of eligible voters came out in 2014).

  68. 68.

    WaterGirl

    @TooManyJens: I almost wrote last night that “there really are too many Jens if I can’t recall for certain which one lives here”.

    But I once made an offhand comment at work that “there are too many STEVEs” — my best friend’s name is Steve, the guy I was living with was named Steve, and one of the people who worked for me was named Steve.

    It seemed like I blinked and the relationship ended and the Steve who worked for me got a different job. Never again will I say that there are “too many” of a certain name. At least no one died!!

  69. 69.

    Chris

    @jl:

    So, I don’t know why you are hating those of our precious youth with an eye on the main chance doing the rational thing.

    Because I know exactly what their careers will be (if I didn’t before, I know what they’ve gone on to do) and it has precisely nothing to do with “destroying Washington” and everything to do with putting down roots in Washington and finding a nice cozy spot in The System (maaann).

    To put it in sixties terms, they’re the stereotypical “hippies selling out and joining The System,” and CPAC is their big “Join The System” conference. Except that’s it’s treated as an act of radicalism.

  72. 72.

    scarshapedstar

    ‘The theme is “Conservative Action Starts Here.”’

    C.A.S.H. fits them pretty well, yeah.

    One supposes they considered Conservatism Rules Everything Around Me but found it too subtle.

Comments are closed.