Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

No one could have predicted…

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

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78Comments

  2. 2.

    jl

    @Woodrowfan: Same here. I said I was going to watch the Q&As, but as the time got closer, those turned out to be mere brave words. That is, I chickened out.

    TPM says Christie spent his time bragging about he was going to tell the WH to ‘shut up’.

    That is sad and pathetic. Only thing I can think of more sad and pathetic if any of the rubes fall for that patent BS.

  5. 5.

    trollhattan

    I wonder if they’ve invited Aaron Schock to train them in high-order grifting? He’s quickly becoming a living answer to the question, “What would James O’Keefe be like as a congressman?”

    Did not know he got his start as a Southern Baptist preacher, but boy does that ever fit his behavior and lifestyle.

  7. 7.

    Pogonip

    @jl: Pfft. I can tell the White House to shut up. I can even tell the occupants of same to shut up. Doesn’t mean they will. This falls into the “the cat had kittens in the oven but that don’t make them biscuits” category. So don’t let something that silly bother you.

  8. 8.

    geg6

    @jl:

    TPM says Christie spent his time bragging about he was going to tell the WH to ‘shut up’.

    That is sad and pathetic. Only thing I can think of more sad and pathetic if any of the rubes fall for that patent BS.

    I saw that, too, and your thought was pretty much my exact thought also. How much more pathetic could the Jersey Whale possibly sound? I’M THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE GOP, WATCH ME PROVE IT!

    Sadly, most people in America aren’t the Young Republicans or, as I like to call them, MRAs in the Making.

  9. 9.

    Triumph

    Now that ObamaNet is a reality, I can’t find this anywhere online to stream. THANKS OBAMA.

    No, seriously, thanks for that.

  11. 11.

    catclub

    @Pogonip:

    This falls into the “the cat had kittens in the oven but that don’t make them biscuits” category

    Old Shakes put it better:

    A: “I can call up spirits from the vasty deep.”
    B: “You can call, but when you call, do they come?”

  14. 14.

    Southern Goth

    @catclub:

    At CPAC, there’s no problem summoning up any number of malevolent spirits.

    It’s putting them back down that’s the problem.

  15. 15.

    catclub

    @geg6: A state judge has put a serious kibosh on Christie’s ambitions. Told him to pay the money the state owes to the State Employees Pension Fund. Skipping it was how he ‘balanced’ the budgets.

    Christie’s defense: “The law we wrote and agreed to ( to pay the amount owed the SEPF) was unconstitutional, so we don’t have to pay.”

  17. 17.

    Chris

    @geg6:

    Christie’s entire public persona and GOP appeal is based on the image of himself as the biggest A-hole in the room. Not even kidding. They want somebody who’s going to walk around pushing weaker kids into lockers and laughing uproariously at it, and Christie’s it.

  19. 19.

    trollhattan

    O/T There goes the neighborhood.

    A River Park resident kept his display of swastikas on his home amid renewed calls for him to take them down. The home on Moddison Avenue has been gathering the attention of state legislators who have called the display an insult to American soldiers who fought in World War II to rid Europe of the scourge of Nazism and also an anti-Semitic affront to Jews.

    On the door of the home is a depiction of the American flag with a swastika replacing the stars next to the stripes. Other flags show a swastika in place of the Star of David. A Palestinian flag is also being flown and a crude wooden statue is draped in green fatigues with arms raised.

    He sounds nice. The one time you actually need an HOA there’s nary one to be found.

  20. 20.

    SatanicPanic

    @Chris: That’s why I think the most devastating photo of him out there is him standing next to Obama, because he doesn’t look intimidating at all.

  22. 22.

    elm

    @jl:

    TPM says Christie spent his time bragging about he was going to tell the WH to ‘shut up’.

    Why brag about that? If you’re going to tell the White House to “shut up”, just fucking do it — and watch them ignore you completely because nobody gives a fuck what Chris Christie thinks.

  23. 23.

    trollhattan

    @elm:
    Take away Paulie Walnuts and Silvio and Christopher and Big Pussy and Tony Soprano becomes Chris Christie. He don’t get no respect.

  25. 25.

    trollhattan

    @elm: (will try to unFYWP)
    Take away Paulie Walnuts and Silvio and Christopher and Big Pu$$ie and Tony Soprano becomes Chris Christie. He don’t get no respect.

  26. 26.

    Chris

    @SatanicPanic:

    More than one person around here said, back when the hurricane hit, that he’d be doing himself no favors by working with Obama for hurricane relief and doing it publicly. Probably won him points in New Jersey, but the heartland doesn’t care what happens there.

  32. 32.

    Southern Beale

    Ted Cruz said something stupid and then there was something to do with llamas, but I don’t think the llamas were part of CPAC. It seems that it was an interracial llama love affair and the white one got away but the black one was aprehended.

    Of course.

  33. 33.

    sharl

    @trollhattan: I kinda hate myself for enjoying that piece as much as I did.
    Le Sigh…

    ETA: I think the guy who was once a Southern Baptist minister was not Schock, but his (now fired) spokesman Ben Cole. Will have to go back and double-check though.

  34. 34.

    trollhattan

    @sharl:
    You’re right, the preacher was/is Cole (hmmmm, something about that name). As to the giant Schadendreude milkshake–enjoy!

  35. 35.

    Mike J

    @trollhattan: The really sickening part of that story is the reporter for the WaPo who was blindsided by the ethics investigation because he was just trying to write a puff piece and didn’t really give a shit about all that boring government stuff.

  36. 36.

    jl

    @Southern Beale:

    Saw report of Cruz’s improv at TPM.
    CPAC might be on to something: really good reactionary comedy, might succeed where all those lame conservative comedy shows failed.

    Cruz wants to be Uber, a ‘disruptive app’. App? Did they get that right? Another type of A could apply to both Cruz and Uber.
    Glad that Cruz admits his dream is to be a ruthless corporate rip-off.

    Edit: good news (IMHO) is that signs so far is that klown will be strong with the GOP kar for 2016, You snobs can make fun of Sarah Palin all you want, but she still sets the trend at places like CPAC.

  38. 38.

    AndoChronic

    Speaking as a Minnesotan. When can we buyout Wisconsin, knock it down, and build a swimming pool?

  40. 40.

    gene108

    @Denali:

    Christie is over as a candidate.

    Christie was over when it came out his flunkies were unprofessional enough to e-mail evidence they were responsible for the Ft. Lee GWB closing.

    The PTB want crooks, who are smart enough to not leave tracks.

    Mind you political payback was not the problem, leaving evidence all over the place that you did it was.

  41. 41.

    burnspbesq

    Oh, dear.

    Fox Sports commentator J.P. Dellacamera, on Everton forward Romelu Lukaku’s five-goal performance over two legs against the team from Bern:

    “He’s made a living off Young Boys.”

  43. 43.

    Bill

    @AndoChronic: Speaking as a Wisconsite, that’s pretty strong talk from a state that once had “The Body” in the governor’s mansion and gave us Bachman.

    Scooter’s 15 minutes are almost up. We’ll get back to sanity in the not too distant future.

  47. 47.

    Pogonip

    @catclub: No, but then again, all those biscuits the cat had in the oven don’t come when I call, either.

    Notice how subtly I worked the topic around to pets so I could yell, somewhat less subtly: Hey Cole! How about a fucking pupdate already?

  48. 48.

    Iowa Old Lady

    Llamas? I googled to see what that was about and got runaway llamas in Arizona. If I didn’t read BJ, I’d never know anything.

  51. 51.

    Iowa Old Lady

    @AndoChronic: Here’s the thing about smarts. At some point, learning depends on character more than native intelligence. I used to teach grad students. We didn’t admit them unless they were wicked smart. But some of them just couldn’t learn, mostly (I theorize) because they were so used to being the smartest person in the room that they couldn’t see where they were wrong and move forward. Their self image wouldn’t allow it.

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    @catclub:

    A: “I can call up spirits from the vasty deep.”
    B: “You can call, but when you call, do they come?”

    That’s

    GLENDOWER

    I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

    HOTSPUR

    Why, so can I, or so can any man;
    But will they come when you do call for them?

  55. 55.

    bemused

    @catclub:

    Recently I read somewhere that a high placed Republicans who is remaining anon says Christie will stay in the game until the NH (?) primary but ultimately may be looking at a tv anchor job.

  57. 57.

    AndoChronic

    @Iowa Old Lady: I get what you’re saying on that one. We’re actually two weeks behind in one of my grad. classes due to people bludgeoning their points to death when others disagree. It’s psychology so it’s more subjective. However, I chalk it up to us processing our own issues during class… I think our professor is doing a case study on us!

  60. 60.

    SRW1

    Apparently, UKIP’s very own Nigel Farage got hailed at CPAC as the coming leader of Great Britain and good old Nigel felt compelled to put his inner Tea Party disposition on display because he had this to say about the GOP:

    “If I was living over here, I would say to myself alright number one we’ve got to reclaim our party–we’ve got to take it away from being safe and establishment, …”

    Methinks that abacus the cons use for unskewing poll data still needs some major calibration work. UKIP will have a major triumph if they win more than three seat in the upcoming Westminster election.

  61. 61.

    JCT

    Those llamas are lucky none of my “constitutional carry” neighbors out here in AZ used them for target practice.

  62. 62.

    piratedan

    @JCT: obviously this started when one of Arpaio’s Deputies went against the law of the land and did some profiling and asked for their papers…

  63. 63.

    Josie

    I forced myself to listen to quite a bit of Scott Walker’s speech. I know very little about Wisconsin, but he painted a much rosier picture than I had heard otherwise. He said that students were scoring much higher than they had before, unemployment is way down and economically everyone is better off. I hope someone has some details on file to bring him up short on all these claims. He is scary good at revving up the crowd.

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Elizabelle:

    On my FB, there’s a huge argument going on about whether these were llamas or alpacas. People feel very strongly about the distinction, and are taking sides to rival Montagues and Capulets.

  67. 67.

    Hungry Joe

    We were in Peru last summer, and saw and heard all about ’em. Alpacas and llamas can mate and produce offspring, but the offspring isn’t fertile. Alpacas are smaller and won’t carry much of anything, but they’re good to eat — or so we were told, anyway. Llamas will carry up to 35 kilos, but that’s the limit: add any more and they won’t budge.

  68. 68.

    Mandalay

    @gene108: While Christie is blathering on about how he’s entitled to tell people to shut up, the odious Carly Fiorina is at least raising an issue worthy of discussion:

    Former technology executive Carly Fiorina, the only woman known to be contemplating a Republican presidential bid, on Thursday challenged Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton to explain millions of dollars from foreign governments donated to her family’s foundation.
    “She tweets about women’s rights in this country and takes money from governments that deny women the most basic human rights,” Fiorina told the Conservative Political Action Conference, known as CPAC.

    Christie uses a baseball bat. Fiorina prefers a scalpel.

  69. 69.

    Turgidson

    @Josie:

    I’m not up to date on Wisconsin’s stats either, but I’m guessing that Walker’s claims can be decoded as something like this:

    “students are scoring higher” = fewer students believe in evolution now than when I took office. BOOM.

    “unemployment is way down” = once you take out poor people and lazy moochers, who don’t count, unemployment is down a little bit, no thanks to the Kenyan commie in the White House.

    “economically everyone is better off” = economically my donors are better off.

  70. 70.

    shelley

    @jl: Chris Christie at CPAC? Surprise, surprise. Specially after his Fiscal speech on Tuesday, where he responded to critics that he spends too much time away from his actual job as Governor. I guess he figures he can just work remotely.

  72. 72.

    another Holocene human

    @Turgidson: unemployment goes down when you cut back the weeks of assistance and make it harder to apply and easier to deny.

    The acid test is comparing WI to peer states. Grim picture.

    Test scores have been riding for years in spite of republicans and their polluting ways.

  73. 73.

    Barry

    @bemused: “Recently I read somewhere that a high placed Republicans who is remaining anon says Christie will stay in the game until the NH (?) primary but ultimately may be looking at a tv anchor job.”

    One of their big problems in 2012 was that at least half of the nine or so clowns were clearly only in it for book deals, Fox News slots and building a sucker list.

  75. 75.

    jl

    @another Holocene human: Wisconsin’s employment growth rate has been middling at best, both recently and over last 5 years. Looks ranked around 22 (recent) to 30 (average past five years) out of 50.

    State Job Growth Rates 2014
    http://blog.stewart.com/stewart/2015/02/01/state-job-growth-rates-2014/

    Same for growth rate in personal income, but I don’t have time to get Bureau of Economic Analysis data right now.

    Edit: note that commie California is doing quite well, thank you very much.

  76. 76.

    jl

    not definitive if this was cause of his suicide, but a glimpse of the dark side of the GOP klown kar

    Jaw Dropping

    ‘ …Missouri State Auditor Tom Schweich died today of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. Schweich was considered a leading candidate to run for governor.

    Now the editorial page editor of the St Louis Post-Dispatch, Tony Messenger, has come forward to say that in the days leading up to Schweich’s suicide he had confided to Messenger that he was planning to reveal that the head of the state Republican party was leading a whispering campaign suggesting that Schweich was in fact a Jew. ‘

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/jay-dropping

    TPM promises to look closely into this incident. I hope they do.

  77. 77.

    Bex

    @trollhattan: Actually his former chief of staff was a Baptist preacher. Aaron claims to be a Baptist, but at least he hasn’t claimed to be clergy. I’d like to see him out of office, but nothing other than departure from this life could dislodge him from his seat in this district.

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