• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

People are complicated. Love is not.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Biden: Oh no. We’ve upset Big Pharma again.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Mobile Menu

  • Four Directions Montana
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2024 Elections
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Lindsey Graham Would Be EVEN DUMBER on Email!

Lindsey Graham Would Be EVEN DUMBER on Email!

by Betty Cracker|  March 10, 20156:39 am| 41 Comments

This post is in: Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Clown Shoes, General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

While busily attempting to make hay of EmailGhaziGate earlier this week, SC Senator Lindsey Graham made the astonishing claim that he’s never, ever sent an email. Now he’s explained why:

“What I do, basically, is that I’ve got iPads, and I play around,” Graham told reporters this weekend, according to Bloomberg News. “But I don’t e-mail. I’ve tried not to have a system where I can just say the first dumb thing that comes to my mind.”

The mind. It reels! Also, Graham’s excuse for eschewing email doesn’t make much sense because he has an account on Twitter, which seems designed to facilitate the global publication of stupid, unfiltered, context-free thoughts that result in massive misunderstandings and life-ruining pile-ons.

Maybe an aide runs it for him? And maybe he just never figured out the new-fangled email machine back in ’95 and has been waiting 20 years to make a virtue of that deficiency? Yeah, he’s “got iPads” alright, probably serving as trays to display his “at-home” cards.

ETA: Speaking of stupid, Erick Son of Erick posted a truly dimwitted response to the outrage over the 47 GOP Senators who beclowned themselves and America via an open letter designed to scuttle ongoing negotiations with the Iranians. TL;DR version: “I know you are, but what am I?”

But that’s not even the dumbest part: RedState has profanity rules! So Erickson titles his post “Tough Shiitake” and closes his screed with “Tough shiitake mushrooms for you.” Now that the dude who made “goat-fucking child molester” a famous insult is studyin’ up to be a preacher man, he’s got to forswear swear words.

But rather than consulting Mr. Thesaurus or extending Christian charity to ideological opponents, Erickson will follow the letter of the rule while violating its spirit. Erickson is exactly the kind of nasty, small-minded hypocrite who will thrive in an fundamentalist evangelical radio ministry, bilking little old ladies out of their Social Security checks while assuring them that Jeebus hates their enemies too. What an oat ducking file cholester!

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « The Iranians Are Smarter Than the Republicans
Next Post: Tuesday Morning Open Thread: True Companions »

Reader Interactions

41Comments

  1. 1.

    Aimai

    March 10, 2015 at 6:41 am

    Plays around with ipads. Never hits the “send” button? NTTAWWT but doesnt that sound like a euphemism?

  2. 2.

    Baud

    March 10, 2015 at 6:44 am

    I’ve tried not to have a system where I can just say the first dumb thing that comes to my mind.”

    His dumb statements are well thought out beforehand.

  3. 3.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 10, 2015 at 6:53 am

    I’ve tried not to have a system where I can just say the first dumb thing that comes to my mind.”

    Instead, he just says the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th….. ad infinitum thing to come into his head. Really Lindsey, it’s not working.

  4. 4.

    Schlemazel

    March 10, 2015 at 6:56 am

    @Baud:

    You beat me to it – that means he has to think long & hard to say the stupid stuff he says!

    But ol Linseed is just keeping with the modern tradition of the GOP. Science committee headed by a science denier, Human services committee headed by someone and every person for yourself randian . . .

    the motto of todays GOP:
    IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
    WAR IS PEACE
    SLAVERY IS FREEDOM (yes, they got that one backwards but really works better for their policies.

  5. 5.

    Mathguy

    March 10, 2015 at 7:03 am

    Here’s Huckleberry Butchmeup using his “iPads”:

    http://www.snotr.com/video/8965

  6. 6.

    Jim

    March 10, 2015 at 7:07 am

    These are the same people who decide what’s best for women without knowing much about female physiology, who decide what’s best for the internet without knowing the first thing about the internet, etc. etc. I fear for the future of our Republic.

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    March 10, 2015 at 7:10 am

    “How do I get the porn to show up on this thing?”

  8. 8.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 10, 2015 at 7:15 am

    @NotMax: “www.foragoodtimecall.com”.

  9. 9.

    Mustang Bobby

    March 10, 2015 at 7:16 am

    He may not have sent any e-mails, but I’m sure he’s posted on certain websites and winked at Aaron Schock. (Who never winks back, the bitch.)

  10. 10.

    Derelict

    March 10, 2015 at 7:16 am

    So . . .

    This man wants to be president and leader of the free world. And refuses to use one of the most essential technological tools of the day. This is roughly equivalent to FDR having refused to use the telephone or Lincoln refusing to use the telegraph.

    Vote for Ms. Lindsey! Standard bearer of the Luddite Party!

  11. 11.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 10, 2015 at 7:25 am

    @Mustang Bobby: Andy Harris likes to wink.

  12. 12.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 7:44 am

    @Jim: I know. I wish we could just shut these things down. I wish we had a system to do that.

  13. 13.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 10, 2015 at 7:52 am

    So that GA sanitation worker*** sentenced to 30 days for picking up the trash too early? The rest of his sentence was suspended after the rest of the world read about it. Who said the internet was good for nothing?

    *** original Botsplainer link, I think.

  14. 14.

    Baud

    March 10, 2015 at 7:53 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Good star for the Internet.

  15. 15.

    NorthLeft12

    March 10, 2015 at 7:56 am

    As a citizen of the world outside the US of A it is truly scary and depressing that a complete fool like Senator Graham has any influence on world affairs.

    Our Canadian right wing fools restrict themselves to making life more miserable for us Canadians ….well, except for that whole climate change deal. Sigh.

  16. 16.

    raven

    March 10, 2015 at 8:00 am

    Yay, they should pave today after 5 weeks of waiting!

  17. 17.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 10, 2015 at 8:10 am

    @raven: I’m Walking on Asphalt

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    March 10, 2015 at 8:17 am

    @raven

    Congrats.

    Now, who had March 10 in the betting pool?

  19. 19.

    raven

    March 10, 2015 at 8:29 am

    @NotMax: Now we get to go into renovation contractor mode too! The great thing is that our guy just started construction on his own tiny house! He and his wife had this really cool place that he built and, since their twins went to college, they are building a place that is about 700 square ft right next to the projects. Pioneers for sure.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 8:39 am

    @raven: I would love to see some pics of that 700 foot house, once finished (or even in progress). Fascinated with living small, but well.

  21. 21.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 8:49 am

    NYTimes magazine profile of the non-emailing Lindsey Graham. He thought the Tea Party would blow over by the time he ran for re-election in 2014.

    Now he’s feeding them red meat, perhaps he can see the difference between his esteemed self and those rubes, but it’s harder for the average observer to see it.

    Lindsey Graham, This Year’s Maverick, July 2010 article by Robert Draper.

    Graham is not a morning person, but at that hour in May he was thoroughly revved up, despite eating only a pack of crackers for breakfast. (Graham does not cook; it is widely believed by those close to him that he is incapable of manipulating a coffee machine, an oven, a toaster or a can opener.)

    Um, OK, rolling that out in defense that maybe email is beyond his capabilities.

    … “Everything I’m doing now in terms of talking about climate, talking about immigration, talking about Gitmo is completely opposite of where the Tea Party movement’s at,” Graham said as Cato drove him to the city of Greenwood, where he was to give a commencement address at Lander University later that morning. On four occasions, Graham met with Tea Party groups. The first, in his Senate office, was “very, very contentious,” he recalled. During a later meeting, in Charleston, Graham said he challenged them: “ ‘What do you want to do? You take back your country — and do what with it?’ . . . Everybody went from being kind of hostile to just dead silent.”

    In a previous conversation, Graham told me: “The problem with the Tea Party, I think it’s just unsustainable because they can never come up with a coherent vision for governing the country. It will die out.” Now he said, in a tone of casual lament: “We don’t have a lot of Reagan-type leaders in our party. Remember Ronald Reagan Democrats? I want a Republican that can attract Democrats.” Chortling, he added, “Ronald Reagan would have a hard time getting elected as a Republican today.”

  22. 22.

    JenJen

    March 10, 2015 at 8:52 am

    How do you open a Twitter account or set up an iPad without an email account?

  23. 23.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Robert Draper wrote a July 2010 NYTimes magazine profile of Graham, in which the senator thought the Tea Party would die out. Perhaps he hoped that would happen before his 2014 re-election battle (when 4 of the little darlings ganged up against him, where one might have taken him out in the primary, were they able to think that through).

    Graham’s now throwing red meat out to the Teatard base regularly, and the average American probably can’t tell the difference between him and the other elected troglodytes in his party. From Draper’s 2010 article:

    Lindsey Graham, This Year’s Maverick

    Graham is not a morning person, but at that hour in May he was thoroughly revved up, despite eating only a pack of crackers for breakfast. (Graham does not cook; it is widely believed by those close to him that he is incapable of manipulating a coffee machine, an oven, a toaster or a can opener.)

    Rolling that out in his defense. Maybe he is incapable of sending email, or wary of what happens if he missends it.

    “Everything I’m doing now in terms of talking about climate, talking about immigration, talking about Gitmo is completely opposite of where the Tea Party movement’s at,” Graham said as Cato drove him to the city of Greenwood, where he was to give a commencement address at Lander University later that morning. On four occasions, Graham met with Tea Party groups. The first, in his Senate office, was “very, very contentious,” he recalled. During a later meeting, in Charleston, Graham said he challenged them: “ ‘What do you want to do? You take back your country — and do what with it?’ . . . Everybody went from being kind of hostile to just dead silent.”

    In a previous conversation, Graham told me: “The problem with the Tea Party, I think it’s just unsustainable because they can never come up with a coherent vision for governing the country. It will die out.” Now he said, in a tone of casual lament: “We don’t have a lot of Reagan-type leaders in our party. Remember Ronald Reagan Democrats? I want a Republican that can attract Democrats.” Chortling, he added, “Ronald Reagan would have a hard time getting elected as a Republican today.”

  24. 24.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 9:00 am

    WordPress has just eaten two of my comments, long passages about Graham from a 2010 NYTimes magazine profile.

    Could you check on them? Thank you.

  25. 25.

    MattF

    March 10, 2015 at 9:17 am

    Actually worse than I thought. I’d assumed that Graham just had staff do the email thang (‘you-all take care of the small stuff, like email, I’ll deal with the big stuff, like war and peace’)– but, as noted repeatedly above, he’s deliberately being stupid.

    And as for Erick ibn Erick, one has to keep the grift in mind.

  26. 26.

    raven

    March 10, 2015 at 9:18 am

    @Elizabelle: These folks shit off their power a couple of years ago because they and the twins wanted to see what it was like!

  27. 27.

    raven

    March 10, 2015 at 9:19 am

    @Elizabelle: Yea but he can be a fucking officer!

  28. 28.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 9:20 am

    @raven: Love the typo. Sounds rocking! And they sound like a cool family.

    @ Anne Laurie: thanks for liberating my comment. FYWP!

  29. 29.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 9:22 am

    @raven: Yup. Being a military legal beagle took him a long way.

    Unlike his best bud, the military did not give him a few expensive airplanes to learn on.

  30. 30.

    Jerzy Russian

    March 10, 2015 at 9:38 am

    What an oat ducking file cholester!

    I am going to gay-marry this line.

  31. 31.

    raven

    March 10, 2015 at 9:41 am

    @Elizabelle: oops

  32. 32.

    Yatsuno

    March 10, 2015 at 9:50 am

    @JenJen: Protip: you can’t.

  33. 33.

    Cervantes

    March 10, 2015 at 10:00 am

    @JenJen:
    @Yatsuno:

    To be precise, what he said was that he has never sent an e-mail message — not that he does not have an account.

    (Not that I could care less, in any event.)

  34. 34.

    SteveinSC

    March 10, 2015 at 10:12 am

    Look, the Lady Lindsey, South Carolina’s Second Openly Gay elected politician, does have a bit of a problem with the truth. For example he makes much of his military experience (he’s a lawyer) and as such could not function in a military officer’s environment without email. So, either he’s not the military reservist he claims he is or he’s used email. Maybe, ahem, he didn’t send any emails while on duty, but that good looking young lieutenant working for him did.

  35. 35.

    grandpa john

    March 10, 2015 at 10:17 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Hey, thanks for posting about garbage collection and reminding me that today is our pickup day (city run ) and that I hadn’t put it out yet. No worry here about 5:00 AM, they don’t get to my house until somewhere between 12 and 1 PM

  36. 36.

    Mike in NC

    March 10, 2015 at 10:42 am

    This buffoon is currently hanging out in diners in Manchester, NH waiting for his presidential campaign to implode.

  37. 37.

    mellowjohn

    March 10, 2015 at 10:49 am

    sen. huckleberry j. butchmeup (h/t charlie pierce) “plays around”? that’s gonna break john mccain’s heart.

  38. 38.

    Elizabelle

    March 10, 2015 at 11:05 am

    @SteveinSC: That’s what I wondered.

    I can see being a congresscritter and not sending email, but an Air Force Reserves colonel? A JAG officer? Who served a tour or two in Afghanistan? Not so believable, although he could have had his minions do so for him.

    But how odd, not to use 21st century technology when you’re in the military.

  39. 39.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    March 10, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    I agree with Erik son of Erik on one point. As mushrooms go, shitakes are tough, but very tasty.

  40. 40.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    March 10, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    I’ve tried not to have a system where I can just say the first dumb thing that comes to my mind.”

    Did he decide to have his mouth taped shut?

  41. 41.

    LAC

    March 10, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    And here I thought Senator Beverly Leslie had his ” business partner” Benji send his emails.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • tokyocali (formerly tokyo ex-pat) on Monday Morning Open Thread: The Tariff We Pay for Civilization (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:34am)
  • Soprano2 on Monday Morning Open Thread: The Tariff We Pay for Civilization (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:34am)
  • Matt McIrvin on Late Night Weekend Wrap-Up Open Thread: Journamalism, Not A Dependable Profit Center (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:33am)
  • TBone on Monday Morning Open Thread: The Tariff We Pay for Civilization (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:33am)
  • suzcamoo on On The Road – Albatrossity – Spring migration begins (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:33am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning
Proposed BJ meetups list from frosty

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8
Virginia House Races
Four Directions – Montana
Worker Power AZ
Four Directions – Arizona
Four Directions – Nevada

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
Positive Climate News
War in Ukraine
Cole’s “Stories from the Road”
Classified Documents Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Political Action 2024

Postcard Writing Information

Balloon Juice for Four Directions AZ

Donate

Balloon Juice for Four Directions NV

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2024 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!