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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Mole (Dog) Woman (Open Thread)

Mole (Dog) Woman (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  March 22, 20153:10 pm| 51 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging, Domestic Politics, Open Threads

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are_you_done

So the dog on the right there — the darker one with a stripe on her face — decided to burrow under one of the backyard sheds and got her fat ass stuck somehow. The mister and I weren’t home (we were on our way back from the Suwannee), so we were fielding frantic phone calls and texts from our teenage daughter as she tried to free the mutt.

The other dog was circling the shed, whining and barking frantically, going out of her mind with worry (and this surprised us all — we didn’t think she cared!). The dog wedged herself in on her side, and the kid said she (the dog) was flailing her limbs, but she couldn’t really dig because she had no leverage. The kiddo wanted to just dig the dog out herself, but we were afraid the shed would shift if she undermined the support for it somehow.

Finally she was able to dig the dumb dog out, after about an hour. We’re now calling the dog “Gretchen” after the voluntary “Mole Woman” on “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.”

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Previous Post: « Cruz to Skip “Exploratory Committee,” Go Straight for the Grift Top Ticket
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Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    March 22, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    Hold my kibble and watch this!

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    We all do know there’s a pretty important NCAA thingie going on abouts now, right?
    I get B-Crack isn’t in to it, but goodness gracious.

  3. 3.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    I am dyeing Easter eggs today, and the dye is fading somewhat when I rinse the eggs (I am blowing them out after dyeing them). Anyone have any ideas why? Do I need more vinegar?

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    And I don’t care what Steeplejack says. These Kate Upton commercials are freakin works of art.

  5. 5.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    @Suzanne: Man, already?

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    We’re finishing a recycling project for school. Lots of fun and probably the only project I haven’t spent 4X what all the other parents spend to complete.

  7. 7.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    @Corner Stone: Yes, already. I want awesome Easter eggs. I finally got an egg tree, after drooling over them for years,

  8. 8.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    @Suzanne: I will note that I am using the baby snotsucker thing to blow them out, because RECYCLING.

  9. 9.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    The Aztecs can’t hang. The Notre Dame-Bulter end was incredible and Brey’s mom dying yesterday morning added a layer to the game that I didn’t expect.

  10. 10.

    Betty Cracker

    March 22, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    @Corner Stone: I don’t give a shit about round-ball, but I’ll see if I can’t wedge an open thread for y’all in between this post and Cole’s. Give me a sec…

  11. 11.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Hell, it don’t matter. We can use this one.

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Use this one! Use this one!
    Sung to the tune of “one of us”.
    As oldboi said, it don’t matter none atall to me. I just like to drive home the stark change that The New Era of Civility ™ has inflicted on this place.

  13. 13.

    shelley

    March 22, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    I know this could have turned dangerous, but I couldn’t help a chuckle reading it. Maybe now Mole Woman/Dog will agree to go on that diet. And you should read her that chapter from ‘Winne the Pooh’ where he gets stuck in Rabbit’s doorway.

  14. 14.

    Josie

    March 22, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    @Suzanne: Your craftiness reminds me of the year I was inspired to make mosaic Easter eggs for decorative effect in my entry way. They were white with pieces of blue and white china glued all over and were really classy. I was recycling broken pottery and such and was very proud of them. My hands, however, were shredded by the time I finished, and it was weeks before they were healed. Naturally, I never worked on any mosaic projects again after that. Actually, I need to dig those suckers out and display them in my new (old) house somewhere.

  15. 15.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    @Corner Stone: “Get that outa here”!!!!

  16. 16.

    TaMara (BHF)

    March 22, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    Well, I’m just glad to know someone else has dog issues.

  17. 17.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    @raven: Yikes!

  18. 18.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    @TaMara (BHF): Got 99 problems, but….

  19. 19.

    Betty Cracker

    March 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    @Corner Stone: Okay, if y’all are sure you wouldn’t like your very own NCAA thread. They’re free, you know.

  20. 20.

    WaterGirl

    March 22, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    @Suzanne: What does “blow them out” mean?

  21. 21.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Easter Eggs and the rock, who could axe fo mo?

  22. 22.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    @WaterGirl: See “Illinois vs Alabama” in the NIT last week for a perfect description of a “blow out”.

  23. 23.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    I don’t give a shit about round-ball

    Yeah, I go back and forth. They changed NCAA rules a few years back and that makes it difficult to give a crap about any program. It’s also the most selfish of team sports, where one star can change the way the whole team plays.
    But my son has decided he’s more interested in basketball than baseball so we’ve been working it pretty hard to get better. So, in short, a renewed excitement to watch NCAA basketball.

  24. 24.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    @Betty Cracker: I’m really just here for you…*blushes*

  25. 25.

    Josie

    March 22, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    @Corner Stone: My youngest son, despite being only 5’8″, has always been a huge basketball player and fan. During the difficult adolescent years, watching basketball with him was the way I communicated with him. I learned to enjoy the game, and we still watch it together every now and then, even though he is full grown. It is so important to share kids’ interests so that we keep the lines of communication open. I have sat through Ren and Stimpy cartoons, heavy metal music, pro wrestling, football, basketball, you name it, and I don’t regret a minute of it.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    @Josie: Mine has an outside chance at ending up around 6’4″ +/- when it’s all said and done. Just guessing from family and current stuff. But right now he’s playing center in his league so we’ve been working footwork and post up moves. He’s a smart kid who, when he wants to, gets better every session.
    Kids these days are a lot different from how we were when I was his age. /lawn

  27. 27.

    Josie

    March 22, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    @Corner Stone: It’s great that you are taking the time to work with him. So many coaches want the kids to come to them ready to play rather than being willing to teach basic skills. Kids who have a coach at home have a leg up on the competition.

  28. 28.

    MelissaM

    March 22, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    Betty, I would love to see a picture of the fat-assed mole dog after she was freed from her dirt prison. Which my dog would probably love, as she’s been quite into eating dirt lately.

    My terrier/shih tzu mutt has been loving life these days as she wanders in the yard while I try to pry up weeds and prepare beds. Nothing more glorious than chewing on sticks in the spring sun! Unless it’s rolling on top of a dead vole.

  29. 29.

    PhoenixRising

    March 22, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Betty, my sister is dog-sitting during her child’s BFF’s parents’ sabbatical. The anecdote she shared with me last night, which involved the dog getting stuck part way under the henhouse, reminded me of you. Thanks for posting such an appropriate thread for me to share the conclusion.

    My sister was getting quietly hammered and denouncing this dog she is babysitting as ‘crazy’. But until this dog, all her dogs have been shepherd mixes. With apologies to Chris Rock, I explained that that Schnauzer didn’t go crazy…that Schnauzer went Schnauzer. Sometimes a dog’s just gotta get securely wedged while pursuing its mission.

  30. 30.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    @WaterGirl: Poke holes in each end of the eggshell, then blow air into the egg to push all the yolk and white out. Makes them hollow so you can keep them.

  31. 31.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    @Josie: Yes, display! I love Easter eggs.

    My hands are a bit dye-stained, but not crisis level yet.

  32. 32.

    PhoenixRising

    March 22, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Re the NCAA tournament, I’d like to make a note for the committee, which in its infinite wisdom changed a schedule that had worked pretty well for 20 years of the 64-team field. This year the women’s tournament is happening at home-game sites for the top 4 seeds in each bracket, in an effort to get more TV viewers by changing times around:

    If there are not a sufficient number of sighted officials available for 2 64-team tournaments, Title IX requires that some of the blind ones be assigned to the men’s games. For parity.

    This game cannot become competitive for gamblers with such obvious hometown officiating that decides games, in favor of the higher seed, every. damn. time. Until you can actually bet on either seed, more TV exposure isn’t going to drive up ratings.

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    March 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    @raven: Sorry. I know what a “blow out” is a game is. I just don’t know what “blowing out” easter eggs means.

    Edit: just saw Suzanne’s reply. Now I know!

  34. 34.

    Pogonip

    March 22, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    OK, cleaning out the back room. What do you do when you don’t know where to start and aren’t sure what to keep, this latter also a problem with Mom’s stuff? Put it all into storage and figure it out later?

  35. 35.

    WaterGirl

    March 22, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    @Suzanne: Got it, glad to know!

  36. 36.

    raven

    March 22, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    @Pogonip: Do what my bride has done all day, just dig in and don’t worry about what you are doing.

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    March 22, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    @Pogonip: I recommend 4 piles:

    Keep
    Give Away*
    Throw Away
    I have no idea, I’ll figure it out later.

    *I’m too lazy to sell my stuff, but I suppose my Give Away might be someone else’s “Sell”

    Edit: If everything is “I have no idea” ask a friend to help you or hire someone professionally.

  38. 38.

    Pogonip

    March 22, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    @WaterGirl: Most of it is “I have no idea.”. Can’t let a friend see the room until it’s cleaned up. O_O. I may just arbitrarily toss anything under 40 years old, except my kid, since the quality won’t be that much better than modern stuff. The only other approaches I can think of are the Father (mine): “Toss it all and live out of a footlocker!” and the Father (church): ” Father, can you bless our laundry room? The brimstone in there is awful.”. Thus forcing me to put it…somewhere. But both of these are extreme.

    Whew. And I’m not even a pack rat. Don’t know how pack rats stand it.

  39. 39.

    Josie

    March 22, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    @Pogonip: Never put it in storage, unless the storage is free. It will sit there and cost you money forever. Ask me how I know. WaterGirl’s four piles are the way to go. The “I don’t know” pile goes into a box and gets taped shut. If you haven’t needed to open it in 6 months to a year, give it away unopened.

  40. 40.

    Pogonip

    March 22, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Is the dog in the front the one with the broken wagger? Her tail looks funny.

  41. 41.

    Pogonip

    March 22, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    @Josie: Sounds good to me. By that principle, most of the “I don’t know” can go in two months!

  42. 42.

    ruemara

    March 22, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    @Suzanne: I love doing that. And then a little varnish after they’re clean and dry. Um, they’re still real fragile, people.

  43. 43.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    March 22, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Dude, they’re getting worse. You’re blinded by the headlights.

  44. 44.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    March 22, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    Which dog is Daisy Mayhem and which is Patsy Marie?

  45. 45.

    gogol's wife

    March 22, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Glad she’s okay!

  46. 46.

    Glidwrith

    March 22, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    @ruemara: Suggestions on how to make the holes? I always end up with cracks running out from the holes.

  47. 47.

    Corner Stone

    March 22, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    @Steeplejack (tablet): Damn you, suh! I say, damn you!
    To the fields of bewbs, suh! I mean…honor!

  48. 48.

    WaterGirl

    March 22, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    @Steeplejack (tablet): I just googled Kate Upton photos so I could gauge whether I am correctly interpreting the word “headlights”. It appears that I am.

  49. 49.

    Betty Cracker

    March 22, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    @Pogonip: Dog on the right is the culprit, but that’s how her tail always looks.

    @Steeplejack (tablet): DM on the left, PM on the right. Patsy is the one who had the shed adventure.

  50. 50.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    @ruemara: Dors varnish make them colorfast?

  51. 51.

    Suzanne

    March 22, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    @Glidwrith: I’ve been using a pushpin and a snot aspirator. Getting the occasional cracking at the hole, but not much.

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