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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / Epic Read Open Thread: “Get to Know Marco Rubio… “

Epic Read Open Thread: “Get to Know Marco Rubio… “

by Anne Laurie|  April 14, 20155:59 pm| 131 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, Excellent Links, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality

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Florida Man Wants to Control America’s Nuclear Arsenal http://t.co/Yzcqjsjp0g

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) April 13, 2015

All praise to Adam Weinstein at Gawker for his epic sandbagging of “the biggest idiot running for President“:

… Rubio’s entry in the 2016 presidential race will fuck up his hitherto inexplicably promising career. It will cost the Republican Party dearly in Florida and in Washington. It will prove to be one of the dumbest moves in the dumb history of politics. This will happen because Marco Rubio is that rare youthful combination of un-telegenic bumbling incompetence and malign corruption only Florida can nourish to maturity.

Rubio has two major political achievements. First, he was speaker of the Florida House of Representatives—an annual beauty pageant of ugly Republicans, by ugly Republicans, for ugly Republicans, so that ugly Republicans shall not perish from the earth. Second, he took an election from political changeling Charlie Crist, something that a reanimated pygmy skink could do, and has done. The thickest section of Rubio’s resumé is his involvement in some truly ghastly internecine political and financial corruption. But he’s running against a Clinton, a Bush, and a Texan. So much for that advantage…

Rubio… is skipping a run for reelection to the Senate next year. So in order to kiss an Iowa state-fair butter cow and hope it convinces enough slackjaw racist-emailing state delegates to rush over to his corner of some god-forsaken parqueted gym floor in Dubuque, he will have to give up a job he could have held for life as a United States senator in the union’s fast-growing, third-largest, politically up-for-grabs state. A job that could have positioned him well for 2020 or 2024 or the governor’s mansion or Fox News, after he’d had a few more seasons to learn to talk with his tongue in his mouth.

More to the point, Rubio’s decision is going to cost Republicans hundreds of millions in critical political money at best, and lose them a previously safe Senate seat at worst. He was uniquely positioned to hold his seat in a presidential election year, which typically favors Democrats in Florida. Thanks to his blandness and his refusal to do, like, policy, his approval numbers and net positives beat those of any other state politician. No other Republican comes close…

… [W]e are talking about Marco Rubio… because his waifish, manufactured brand appeals to a small number of highly influential idiots with billions of dollars to spend fine-tuning a plutocratic system that’s immediately responsive to most of their whims—but not yet all of them. These are the Koch-heads, the sugar barons, the neocon casino magnates, the football-and-car-dealership tycoons, the i-bankers and hedge-funders looking for a soft, supple hand to stimulate their sacks of cash with a youthful wink and a nod to old-fashioned values. Or just opportunistic contractors who see the wisdom in investing a little campaign money now to build billions worth of Coast Guard cutters later…

***********
Apart from admiring the half-brick-in-an-old-sock work, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

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Reader Interactions

131Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    Betty Cracker for Senate!

  2. 2.

    Eric U.

    April 14, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    wow, that really is impressively stupid. Thank you Mr. Rubio

  3. 3.

    BGinCHI

    April 14, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    I wish the professional left would worry more about state races than about the Democratic Primary. Hilary is smart enough not to fuck things up more than will a dozen sociopaths tearing each other to shreds on the other side.

    Let’s get the Senate and state governments back on track, Dems. Hilary doesn’t need your pearl clutching and there is no one else more fabulous who is going to run.

  4. 4.

    Hal

    April 14, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    How does Scott Brown feel about humidity?

    EDIT: Wait, Rubio can’t run in the primary and keep his Senate seat? I thought he would only have to give his seat up if he becomes the party nominee?

  5. 5.

    Mike E

    April 14, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    He won’t really have to give up his seat if he never gets the nomination, right? Otherwise, that’s some HST-esque stuff there.

  6. 6.

    Howard Beale IV

    April 14, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    Speaking of assholes, Trump has gotten into a war of words with the CEO of T-Mobile. Turns out Legere was staying at a Trump property when whoever was in the controls of the Trump Twitter account started to diss T-Mobile, which led to a massive TwitFight.

    Legere doesn’t take shit from no one.

  7. 7.

    jl

    April 14, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    @Baud:

    ” Betty Cracker for Senate! ”

    Sounds like a good idea to me. But the linked article suggests that Lady Cracker does have what it takes in FL politics:

    ” Marco Rubio is that rare youthful combination of un-telegenic bumbling incompetence and malign corruption only Florida can nourish to maturity. “

  8. 8.

    Mike in NC

    April 14, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Rubio’s future in politics is going to fade as the elderly Cuban exiles in Florida start dying off in droves.

  9. 9.

    BGinCHI

    April 14, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    @Mike in NC: Pretty sure Jeb is the real Hispanic in the GOP anyway.

  10. 10.

    Kathleen

    April 14, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    I accidentally heard David Brooks praise Rubio on one of NPR’s smug fests.

  11. 11.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    WaPo

    A Canadian woman who had declined to have her children immunized against pertussis, better known as whooping cough, has changed her position now that all seven of her children have come down with the disease.

  12. 12.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    I await Carl Hiassen’s take on this one.

    He must be thinking: “Florida, the state that keeps giving me material. Money in the bank.”

  13. 13.

    Brachiator

    April 14, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Hilary is smart enough not to fuck things up more than will a dozen sociopaths tearing each other to shreds on the other side.

    I hope that this is the case. However, her 2008 primary run was a masterpiece of stupidity at times.

    Meanwhile, Run, Marco, run! I love confusion in the GOP ranks.

  14. 14.

    Hal

    April 14, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Rand Paul must be the thinnest skinned person ever to run for office. What a damn baby.

    http://www.salon.com/2015/04/10/rand_paul_just_walked_out_of_an_interview_after_being_pressed_on_a_single_question/

    As if to say, “I am not a sexist looney tune hothead who only cuts off female reporters, but rather a looney tune hothead who cuts off any reporter whose questions I don’t like,” GOP presidential candidate Rand Paul cut short an interview with The Guardian’s Paul Lewis on Friday, leaving the reporter in the dark (literally) after being pressed for specifics on campaign strategy and criminal justice.

    After offering a terse response to Lewis on how he plans to reach both the Republican base and more centrist voters, Paul abruptly shut down the conversation and walked away from the reporter, who continued to push for “a specifics answer.” As Lewis explained to the camera that he and his team had been asked to leave, someone turned off the lights.

    Paul’s team says it was CNN who turned the lights off. Ok.

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 14, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Marco is running now before his hair recedes.

    No, really!

  16. 16.

    BGinCHI

    April 14, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: I think you mean “secedes.”

  17. 17.

    Jay C

    April 14, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    And speaking of which:

    Obama Admin to remove Cuba from “State Sponsors Of Terrorism” List

    (h/t Daniel Larison)

    I wonder what Sen Rubio will have to say – outside of venting a near-terminal case of butthurt that he now won’t ever get lead a triumphant march on Havana to put Fidel and Raul Castro’s head on pikes, a la Cromwell...

  18. 18.

    kindness

    April 14, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    Oh come on. Rubio may dumb but he ain’t stupid. He knows he can’t win. He decided it was time to get rich on the Lobbyist money. No other reason makes any sense at all.

  19. 19.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    @Baud: It wouldn’t have taken me that long to have my children vaccinated.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 14, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Hilary is smart enough not to fuck things up more than will a dozen sociopaths tearing each other to shreds on the other side.

    As long as she keeps total idiots like Mark Penn away from her campaign.

  21. 21.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 14, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    @efgoldman: What about Ben Carson and Ms. Demon Sheep?

    ETA: I see you got to Dr. Carson.

  22. 22.

    BGinCHI

    April 14, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Mark Penn is probably still smarter than the GOP folks, but yeah, I think keeping him in a dungeon or a pickle barrel would be just about right.

    HRC’s biggest enemy is people management.

  23. 23.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 14, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    @BGinCHI: Isn’t Penn still at Microsoft?

  24. 24.

    Botsplainer

    April 14, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    @Jay C:

    The Triumphant March on Havana wasn’t so much going to be about mounting the heads of the brothers Castro, as it was going to be about elderly Cubanos wielding yellowed deeds and trying to claim houses and resort properties from the Spanish and Canadian companies that now occupy and manage them.

    Good luck with that….

  25. 25.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Groundhog for Senate!

  26. 26.

    kc

    April 14, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Rubio… is skipping a run for reelection to the Senate next year.

    Well, that’s some good news. Unless Florida elects someone who’s even worse than Rubio.

  27. 27.

    BGinCHI

    April 14, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    @efgoldman: At least the groundhog is minding its own business.

  28. 28.

    Brachiator

    April 14, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    @efgoldman:

    She (and her consultants) made some grievous mistakes, true. But she was running against one of the two (the other, unfortunately, was Reagan) greatest politicians of my lifetime.

    Hillary Clinton showed all the signs of someone with poor political instincts, and who rarely had to run in a political contest on her own.

    She also showed that both she and Bill had an odd degree of tone deafness and arrogance. That she was unnerved by a smoother, superior candidate is still telling. And she made one of the gravest mistakes that a politician can make, not knowing when your advisors are dead ass wrong.

    She also made herself a Brian Williams level object of mockery when she stupidly claimed that she had once ducked enemy fire (and some of the best mockery was right here on Balloon Juice).

    So, the big question will be whether Clinton really learned from her mistakes. I hope she has.

  29. 29.

    Mike in NC

    April 14, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    @Jay C: So Cuba was declared a state sponsor of terrorism in 1982. Another genius move by St Ronnie, which just happened to take place while the Contras were busy shooting up school buses and raping nuns.

  30. 30.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    @efgoldman: She’s running for an opening at Fox News and she just doesn’t realize that there is not only a blond requirement, there is an age requirement.

  31. 31.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    @Brachiator: this.. Bill O’Reilly will be the first to bring that up.

  32. 32.

    mdblanche

    April 14, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    “Get to Know Marco Rubio… “

    No thanks.

  33. 33.

    Major Major Major Major

    April 14, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    That’s a brilliant polemic by whoever wrote that.

    I’m hanging out with my mom. We were both laughing about that.

    I know the author is named above.

    Met two republicans in the last two days. This most recent one ragequit after he called me a socialist and I asked him to define socialism over and over and over as he kept changing the subject.

  34. 34.

    samiam

    April 14, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    You people do realize that these guys are not dumb and know they have zero chance don’t you?

    From Trump on down it’s just a grift. You people do realize that right?

  35. 35.

    shell

    April 14, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Is anybody still working on their taxes?

    (I’m surprised Cole hasn’t worked out a way for us to take our dogs as dependents)

  36. 36.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 14, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    @efgoldman:

    he would have named Massachusetts a state sponsor of terrorism

    What? And miss those drinks with Tip O’Neil?

  37. 37.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 14, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    @shell: We(I) finished our’s early yesterday morning. Just need to write the checks and mail them.

  38. 38.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    @BGinCHI: Great advice about concentrating more on House, Senate and local.

    Farm team and Congress, bitchez!

  39. 39.

    jayjaybear

    April 14, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    @Baud: Barn doors and escaped equines come to mind…

  40. 40.

    Ruviana

    April 14, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    But wait! There’s even more excitement!

  41. 41.

    Mike J

    April 14, 2015 at 7:07 pm

    @shell:

    (I’m surprised Cole hasn’t worked out a way for us to take our dogs as dependents)

    If you’re fostering for a shelter that’s a 501(c), you might be able to write of some expenses. You should check with an actual lawyer/cpa/etc and never take financial, legal, love, or drug advice from anybody on the internet.

  42. 42.

    Brachiator

    April 14, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    @shell:

    Is anybody still working on their taxes?

    After a certain point, people should just relax, take a deep breath and file an extension, rather than continue to ride the Procrastination Express.

    Of course, if you file an extension, you should make sure to pay any balance with that extension.

  43. 43.

    cokane

    April 14, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    I think this analysis is stupid as fuck.

    Rubio is running for vice-president and will make for a very compelling pick for any nominee not named Jeb.

  44. 44.

    shell

    April 14, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    ” Betty Cracker for Senate! ”

    Wine foil sculptures for everyone!

  45. 45.

    catclub

    April 14, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    OT: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/thabo-sefolosha-says-his-season-ending–injury-was-caused-by-the-police-193049399.html

    I guessed this as soon as it was reported. NBA took a LONG time to come to this conclusion.

  46. 46.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 14, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @cokane: I also think Rubio is running for Veep, but I think “compelling” may be overstating the case. And he seems to be the neo-cons first choice.

    @Mike in NC: and the technicality of “state sponsor” is so we can join the members of the Saudi Royal family who hold official titles in the polite fiction that they don’t know what their cousins are doing?

  47. 47.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    @shell: I finished yesterday and postmarked my return rather than do e-file.
    Yesterday was the day of whoops. I kept a fruit and nut filled chocolate easter egg in the fridge so not to tempt me. Of course, since I’m doing taxes, I needed a chunk.. A crown came off and I almost tossed it but chose to clean it and save it for the dentist in case I could get a discount on a new one. I thought it was chipped.
    First pass of taxes I owed several hundred on my meager retirement taxes. I could not figure out how I underestimated so much. I was going to e-file and then said, nah, print it. Last year I had jury duty during the Atlanta ice storm and instead of entering $25.00, I entered 2500.
    Long story short, the crown was glued back on and the gov. owes me $1.

  48. 48.

    cokane

    April 14, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Also if Republican voters had more than two neurons firing, they’d recognize that Rubio is one of their best candidates to pick. He’s got enough cred to effectively posture as both a centrist and a true conservative. He’s relatively photogenic and he is a pretty smart guy despite this dumb smug analysis from Gawker.

    I think the Republican nominee gets sunk no matter what, the party is just too far to the right for presidential turnout electorate to stomach. And no matter what ballet the nominee does, some retard Senate or House Rep nominee is guaranteed to say some dumb shit during the campaign. Not to mention those debates, those sad Republican primary debates.

    That being said, of those guys who have announced Rubio can dance that ballet the best.

  49. 49.

    germy shoemangler

    April 14, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    I keep seeing commercials for the Cancer Treatment Centers. They advertise that they incorporate alternative treatments like acupuncture, chiropractors, etc. They make all sorts of promises, then in fine print they say past experiences are not a guarantee of future results…

    Turns out they are owned by a guy who makes major contributions to the Tea Party:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/freedomworks-tea-party-group-nearly-falls-apart-in-fight-between-old-and-new-guard/2012/12/25/dd095b68-4545-11e2-8061-253bccfc7532_story.html

    Here’s an interesting blog that addresses the Cancer Treatment Center and their tv ads:

    https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/cancer-centers-and-advertising-practices/

  50. 50.

    catclub

    April 14, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    @germy shoemangler: I think the first x-ray they take is of your wallet and of the amount your insurance will spend up to the lifetime maximum. How else would they have money for all that advertising.

  51. 51.

    catclub

    April 14, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    @cokane:

    Also if Republican voters had more than two neurons firing, they’d recognize that Rubio is one of their best candidates to pick.

    Huntsman probably could have beaten Obama in 2012.

  52. 52.

    Steve

    April 14, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    The posts slamming Rubio on this site confirm he is a force . Scared ?

  53. 53.

    trollhattan

    April 14, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:
    Agreed, if this Adam Weinstein fellow can keep producing in-depth smackdowns of this caliber, then the election cycle will have at least that redeeming aspect.

  54. 54.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @cokane: Rubio talks about his parents in a way to make some think they escaped the Castro regime. They arrived much earlier. I’m not sure how you point this out, without upsetting actual immigrants. Maybe Paul will. Cruz can’t because his father escaped the Batista regime because of his support of Castro.
    We live in strange times.

  55. 55.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 14, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @cokane: he is a pretty smart guy despite this dumb smug analysis from Gawker.

    Huh.

    During a tense exchange with Kerry at a Senate Foreign Relations committee on Wednesday, Rubio confronted the former Massachusetts senator. “I believe that much of our strategy with regards to ISIS is being driven by a desire not to upset Iran so they don’t walk away from the negotiating table on the deal that you’re working on,” the potential GOP presidential candidate declared. “Tell me why I’m wrong.”

  56. 56.

    germy shoemangler

    April 14, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    @catclub: From the comments:

    You might also like to know that It turns out that Cancer Treatment Center of America also screens people for ability to pay
    – they don’t take Medicare or Medicaid, or treat people without insurance. They also tout fraudulent survival statistics.

  57. 57.

    trollhattan

    April 14, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    @catclub:
    Heh, indoozle. I’ll always treasure his “perfectly lubricated weathervane” description of Mittens. Possibly the only memorable campaign nugget from any Republican in ’12. And to think this bunch could prove even loonier.

  58. 58.

    catclub

    April 14, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    He was uniquely positioned to hold his seat in a presidential election year, which typically favors Democrats in Florida.

    I bet in the back of his mind he has an idea to drop out in Feb 2016 when it is clearly not looking good and go back to the senate. He will have collected a potful of cash in the meantime.

    Does that make me sound cynical?

  59. 59.

    trollhattan

    April 14, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    @germy shoemangler:
    $400k/year * 20 years? That’s Adelson territory there. Sounds like both run ca$in0s, so they have that.

  60. 60.

    mdblanche

    April 14, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    @cokane: But isn’t Jeb! (last name withheld) supposed to be the prohibitive front runner due to being the only candidate above the minimum competence threshold? Unless he’s planning to move to Wyoming, Rubio would have to be betting on somebody else taking Jeb! down if he’s going to get on the ticket. But if one of the other klowns can take down Jeb!, why not Rubio? Seriously, why not?

  61. 61.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Tonight is the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln being shot at Ford’s Theatre.

    That still makes me sad. Changed the course of history; Lincoln would have been a steadier head and hand during Reconstruction, and he’d earned more cred through winning the war (at least the military operations side of it.)

    There will be a candlelight vigil outside, and a 9:00 p program that will be livestreamed online.

    Thinking I should shuffle downtown, cuz this is history, but getting a bit too comfy at home just now …

  62. 62.

    Cacti

    April 14, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    I also find it strange that he would so willingly let go of a potential decades-long sinecure in the US Senate, to launch a Presidential campaign that no one is asking for.

  63. 63.

    Mandalay

    April 14, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    @cokane:

    Rubio is running for vice-president and will make for a very compelling pick for any nominee not named Jeb.

    If you are assuming that Rubio as VP will deliver Florida for the Republicans you might want to reconsider; he would not even have been a sure bet to retain his Senate seat. Also too, his ranting about Castro and Cuba is counterproductive – the country is ready to enage with Cuba. And getting him to be clear and explicit about his position on immigration is like nailing jelly to the wall.

    Picking Rubio as your VP would be like putting an anvil in your backpack before climbing Everest.

  64. 64.

    trollhattan

    April 14, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    @Elizabelle:
    April 14 is so full of tragedy it’s called “Ruination Day.”

  65. 65.

    gf120581

    April 14, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    @catclub: He won’t be able to. There’s a lot of ambitious Republicans in Florida waiting to make a move up and they’re going to jump now that he’s running for the WH. This isn’t like the Rand Paul situation. Rubio’s made his choice. He can’t turn back.

    It’s good for Dems, however, because they have a strong candidate in Rep. Patrick Murphy (the man who sent Allan West packing).

  66. 66.

    Mandalay

    April 14, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    @catclub:

    I bet in the back of his mind he has an idea to drop out in Feb 2016 when it is clearly not looking good and go back to the senate

    It’s already too late. Now that he is running for president he can’t do that. He should have waited until 2020 when he could leave a hot water bottle on his Senate seat to keep it warm while his presidential run tanked.

    I really don’t really understand why he is running this time around, with no chance of winning. But he is clearly not very bright, and maybe that is enough to explain it.

  67. 67.

    germy shoemangler

    April 14, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    @Cacti: I still think it’s because these ignorant, bigoted hacks look at Obama and think “If HE did it, I certainly can!”

  68. 68.

    geg6

    April 14, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Oh come on! There were dozens of good lines from the inhabitants of the Klown Kar in 2012. The only reason his stands out is because it’s from the only mostly sane inhabitant in the Kar.

  69. 69.

    Turgidson

    April 14, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    @catclub:

    I’m more-than-half expecting him to do that unless election law forbids it somehow or the state and national GOP ends up really happy with a candidate who runs in his absence and forces him to stand down.

    I also think he’d risk losing the general if he pull this maneuver. The appearance of bailing on the state after one term for a bigger prize, then slinking back after getting humbled and swiping the Senate nomination from someone who had been campaigning for it…doesn’t seem ideal.

    And in the general, Murphy looks potentially pretty strong (even as I’d love for a more liberal Democrat to have that seat, he looks like the likeliest winner of the potential candidates we know about. As long as he votes for a Dem majority leader and Hillary’s SCOTUS nominees, he’s immeasurably better than any hairball the GOP might cough up).

    Probably smart just to run the best campaign he can and honor his commitment to give up the Senate seat, hope for a VP nomination or, if Jeb wins (god help us all), a high profile cabinet gig – maybe UN ambassador or some shit to up his foreign policy cred. If he’s not the VP, run for FL gov in 2018 and probably win comfortably in the shrunken midterm electorate. Use that as springboard to future runs. Maybe by then he’ll have learned how to give a televised speech while properly hydrated and gotten reasonable-looking hair plugs.

  70. 70.

    Jim, Foolish LIteralist

    April 14, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    @Cacti: there was a link on twitter yesterday– to NRO, so I didn’t click– to the headline “Rubio hates the Senate.” a good college try, if Debbie makes it or being Walker’s Veep or whatever doesn’t look good a year from now, he can quit and go stack the old coffers for a couple years

  71. 71.

    Mandalay

    April 14, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    @gf120581:

    It’s good for Dems, however, because they have a strong candidate in Rep. Patrick Murphy

    Yes, although he’s a DINO he does stand a chance of winning.

    And his chances got even better over the weekend when Republican Jeff Atwater announced he wasn’t running. No idea why. He stood a real good chance of winning, but maybe the dead donkey video made him reconsider. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  72. 72.

    WaterGirl

    April 14, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    @geg6: How is Lovey doing? Koda? The rest of you? This was the day you were headed back to work, right?

  73. 73.

    Jim, Foolish LIteralist

    April 14, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    @geg6: I vaguely recall Willard landed a punch on Newton Leroy that made me chuckle, but I can’t remember what it was.

  74. 74.

    mdblanche

    April 14, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    @Mandalay:

    He stood a real good chance of winning, but maybe the dead donkey video made him reconsider.

    The what now?

  75. 75.

    Turgidson

    April 14, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    @Mandalay:

    Picking Rubio as your VP would be like putting an anvil in your backpack before climbing Everest.

    Could be, but in today’s GOP, which zealously persists in its belief that symbolic nods to minorities is all it takes to convince them to turn against their own self-interest and vote for them, most of the likely nominees will have Rubio right at the top of their shortlists and I’d give him a solid 50% chance of being the nominee of anyone other than Jeb, and only because Jeb can’t pick him.

    Then they’d sit back and expect to get a massive bump in the Latino vote nationwide without making a single substantive change to their platform (immigration or otherwise) to appeal to them, and be totally dumbfounded when it doesn’t happen. Heck, Hillary will probably outperform Obama with Latinos. She was much stronger with them in the 2008 primaries and hasn’t done anything to lose their support since then.

  76. 76.

    germy shoemangler

    April 14, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    @Turgidson: Well, they thought putting Palin on the ticket would make ladies everywhere flock to McCain.

  77. 77.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    Who would win the FL primary, Jeb or Rubio?

  78. 78.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    @Baud:

    Betty Cracker for Senate!

    On the Chickens and Homebrew ticket.

  79. 79.

    NotMax

    April 14, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    @JPL

    She’s running for an opening at Fox News and she just doesn’t realize that there is not only a blond requirement

    The surname satisfies that.

     
    (Rubio is Spanish for blond.)

  80. 80.

    hoodie

    April 14, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    They’re going to be closing on Disney hotel deals in Cuba by the time Rubio would be within spitting distance for the office, so he’s a man without an issue, seeing as he can’t touch immigration after his massive flip flop. I was telling a friend yesterday that we should just hand the nomination over to Hillary, or have some kind of mercy rule whereby she’s declared the winner if she’s racked up a certain number of delegates by Super Tuesday. Then she can get on the Scooby Bus and hit Chipotles from coast to coast while the GOP clown car lumbers through a never ending string of teabagger-infested events where they boo at married gay people or guys shot in the back by cops, with Jeb or Walker finally emerging as the emasculated survivor.

  81. 81.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    For anyone out and about in DC: gathering in the National Portrait Gallery at 9.

    Ford’s Theatre marks 150 years since Abraham Lincoln’s assassination with a moving commemorative event. Event to include readings of Lincoln’s words and stories, Civil War-era music, excerpts from Lincoln’s favorite theatre and operas, and more. The event seeks to remind us that we not only lost a president; we lost a man who treasured his family, his friends and his country with a love so strong it could hold the Union together. The program will be streamed live in the Kogod Courtyard at the National Portrait Gallery.

    If I lived downtown, would be there.

    9:00 brings a PBS Newshour livestream of the Ford’s Theatre commemoration.

    PBS NewsHour will livestream Ford’s Theatre’s tribute event that will include Civil War-era music, readings of Lincoln’s words and stories and excerpts from his favorite theater and operas. The event will feature operatic soprano Alyson Cambridge, singer-songwriter Judy Collins, actor David Selby, political satirist Mark Russell, civil rights leader Julian Bond, historians and others, at 9 p.m. EDT April 14. Watch the live stream here:

    Oddly, looks like C-Span 2 is promising to run it live (?) from ten to twelve tonight.

  82. 82.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    April 14, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    AL –

    All praise to Adam Weinstein at Gawker for his epic sandbagging of “the biggest idiot running for President“:

    Thanks for the pointer. That’s a great rant.

    But it’s not really “sandbagging” is it? I know the meaning of words changes over time, but that’s a new one to me.

    Unfortunately, I can’t recall a better word for this fine example of a counterpoint to the mantra that “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”.

    Thanks.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  83. 83.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    @efgoldman: Yes! The butter lamb is the kicker!

  84. 84.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    This morning, caught a little bit of Orson Welles as Edward Rochester in the 1943 Jane Eyre with Joan Fontaine. Welles was mesmerizing, and the B&W cinematography was so good — the shadows were their own character. Would have been boring in color.

    Reminds me to read Jean Rhys’s “Wide Sargasso Sea” one of these years. Maybe later this one. Haunted by how (hereditary) mental illness was treated in the 1820s.

  85. 85.

    Roger Moore

    April 14, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    @germy shoemangler:
    If you need treatment for cancer, go to a NCI designated cancer center. Cancer Treatment Centers of America are the Rand Paul of cancer centers.

  86. 86.

    NotMax

    April 14, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    @Elizabelle

    Tonight is the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln being shot at Ford’s Theatre.

    From television of the far-off year of 1956, the last living eyewitness to that very happening.

  87. 87.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    @efgoldman: At least you didn’t say all of them.

  88. 88.

    Peale

    April 14, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    @Mandalay: I don’t know. Perhaps they’re going to switch things up. Picking the moderate (hahaha) experienced McCain with the firebrand VP in Palin didn’t work. Going with two snores with Romney and Ryan didn’t work. So this time they’ll try putting the firebrand at the top and pairing him with the relatively not crazy Rubio. Could work, but then no one really votes for a VP and there isn’t really all that much difference between the squares like Rubio, Walker and Bush and the Santorums, Cruzs and Carsons to make one bit of difference.

    Next up Kaisch and Jindal.

  89. 89.

    Elizabelle

    April 14, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    @NotMax: Thank you.

    Wish I was not such a wimp today, cuz I’m less than 20 miles from Ford’s Theatre, but just no energy, it’s lightly raining … regret missing such a remarkable evening, but maybe TV will make up for it. sigh

  90. 90.

    Arm The Homeless

    April 14, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    @trollhattan: We are very proud of our Mr. Weinstein here in the fetid swamps of Tallanasty. The FSU English department is doing its part to rouse the rabble. That may change if our legislature allows guns in classrooms, because many of us will be hiding under our desks after this semester.

    Rubio is most definately running for VP. I am willing to bet he will get the nod after Hillary taps Julian Castro to be her running mate.

    “Hillz is so old skool. Besides, look, we have our own wetba… ah… Latino”

  91. 91.

    Roger Moore

    April 14, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    @Mandalay:

    He should have waited until 2020 when he could leave a hot water bottle on his Senate seat to keep it warm while his presidential run tanked.

    The problem with running in 2020 is that he’d be facing an incumbent. In 2016, the field is actually pretty wide open.

  92. 92.

    Iowa Old Lady

    April 14, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    I see there’s a bill in the NC legislature to require every professor in the system to teach a 4-4 load. Holy crap. Surely it won’t pass.

    Link: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/education/2015/04/north_carolina_education_bill_it_would_require_public_university_professors.html?wpsrc=fol_tw

  93. 93.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: Professors need to earn their pittance and just say thank you to the masters.

  94. 94.

    Sly

    April 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

    Ah, Florida Man. The world’s worst superhero.

  95. 95.

    Mike J

    April 14, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: They don’t want any research done I guess.

  96. 96.

    Roger Moore

    April 14, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    @Peale:

    So this time they’ll try putting the firebrand at the top and pairing him with the relatively not crazy Rubio.

    I don’t think so. They’re going to go with crazy and crazier. The Republicans are now the party of all red meat all the time.

  97. 97.

    dogwood

    April 14, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Reading these initial media valentines to each republican spokesmodel as they enter the race is hysterical. It’s cultural illiterates writing about cultural illiterates. It’s the Applebee’s Salad Bar syndrome. The press does this all the time because they are clueless. The problem for republicans is that they can’t fake it. Bill Clinton could. He looked cool playing the sax on MTV, but I’m pretty sure he never watched MTV. And I doubt he knew Sister Souljah from Sister Act. Barack Obama doesn’t have to fake it; he really is pretty culturally literate.

  98. 98.

    BruceFromOhio

    April 14, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    I want to see Florida Man face off with Local Man.

    Area Man will challenge the survivor.

    ETA: OMG ITS REAL @Sly I thought you were kidding.

  99. 99.

    Mike in NC

    April 14, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: Latest salvo in the GOP War on Public Education.

  100. 100.

    Turgidson

    April 14, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    @dogwood:

    And the cultural illiterates who cover him hate him for it (among other things).

    It’s all fucking junior high to those twits. Obama was the cool new kid in the Village (and got glowing press coverage for this period). He snubbed them back in 2009. They’ve been getting petty revenge ever since, and it really sticks in their craw that six years later they’ve done all they can to destroy him and he’s still cooler than they are (and always will be).

  101. 101.

    BruceFromOhio

    April 14, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    Well, Gaia help us, Area Man is dead, and Local Man is missing.

    Florida Man shall go unchallenged, Gaia forgive us all.

  102. 102.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    The debate among the loonies will not be among each other but instead how each of them disagree with Hillary.
    For example, Hillary wants to bankrupt Social Security how will you save it for your grandchildren. All the answers will start with the premise that Hillary wants to screw the grandchildren and the elderly and I will save it.

  103. 103.

    gogol's wife

    April 14, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    That Jane Eyre has a great score by Bernard Herrmann too. I have a CD of it.

  104. 104.

    Roger Moore

    April 14, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    @JPL:

    For example, Hillary wants to bankrupt Social Security how will you save it for your grandchildren.

    It became necessary to destroy the town Social Security to save it. I will save Social Security from having to cut benefits at some indefinite point in the future by cutting them immediately instead.

  105. 105.

    Turgidson

    April 14, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    @JPL:

    Well that’s how the 2012 debates were, substituting Obama in for Hillary, and it was still a nonstop parade of unhinged quackery. If they go the same route against Hillary, who does not yet have a presidential record to lie about run against, they’ll still find themselves saying all kinds of incoherent, offensive nonsense.

  106. 106.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    @Roger Moore: After the previous debates, they rigged the game. I’m surprised they didn’t ask Rush to be a moderator.

  107. 107.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    @Turgidson: The difference is they are blocking several MSM from moderating the debate and choosing their own.

  108. 108.

    NotMax

    April 14, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    @JPL

    Need another term, as there will be nothing moderate about anyone tapped.

    Perhaps “designated fluffer?”

  109. 109.

    Turgidson

    April 14, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    @JPL:

    I’m not sure that’s going to help them all that much. Having a wingnut radio host with dementia lobbing wingnut-approved softballs in wingnut-approved language to assholes courting the wingnut vote isn’t going to prevent the candidates from sounding like lunatics to the rest of the country, and won’t make them seem any more presidential if they turn their answers into canned attacks on Hillary.

    But we shall see.

  110. 110.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    @efgoldman: By choosing the moderators, the questions will be worded differently. The deficit will disappear unless the moderator says do you think that tax cuts will stimulate the economy enough to reduce the deficit. The answer will be yes.

  111. 111.

    dogwood

    April 14, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    @Turgidson:
    My favorite was the way the clueless press tried to sell the friendship and chemistry between Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan as if they were Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake 2.0

  112. 112.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Does anyone read Vox? They seem to love Rubio for some reason.

  113. 113.

    WereBear

    April 14, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    @Baud: Another good reason to igore Vox.

  114. 114.

    NotMax

    April 14, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    @Baud

    (Overheard by fly on the wall at Vox.)

    He’s young! He’s vital!

    Wait a second, he’s pretty much a doofus.

    But he’s telegenic!

    Well, if the camera is not closer than the next block.

    But he’s young!

  115. 115.

    Elie

    April 14, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    @efgoldman:

    And I even forgot the neurosurgeon who apparently lobotomized his own self.

    LOL!!! This wins the comment of the night award for me…

  116. 116.

    Elmo

    April 14, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    @Elizabelle: Right there with you. I live within walking distance of Samuel Mudd’s house, and I’m in bed already listening to the rain and to my wife snoring.

  117. 117.

    JPL

    April 14, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    @Elmo: I find that sweet.

  118. 118.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    @JPL:

    Unless that’s why he can’t sleep.

  119. 119.

    Betty

    April 14, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    @Elizabelle: I strongly recommend Wide Sargssso Sea. I live in Dominica where much of the story takes place. Beautifully described in the book. The use of obeah, as described in the book, is still prevalent

  120. 120.

    Elmo

    April 14, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    @JPL: @Baud:

    Early for sleep, but the wife has been manic on projects the last couple of days and she’s exhausted. Me, I’m on vacation this week, which just means I work from home and don’t go to the office.

  121. 121.

    Baud

    April 14, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    @Elmo: I hear you. I’m so overwhelmed with things to do that I’ve kind of shut down — which is not helpful when it comes to shortening the list.

  122. 122.

    Zinsky

    April 14, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    God, it is so painful listening to these right-wing doorknobs trying to put together two coherent sentences. I don’t think I am going to make it through these next 20 months. ***sigh***

  123. 123.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    @Peale:

    Next up Kaisch and Jindal.

    I keep wondering why Nikki Paley’s name is never mentioned. She’s female, she’s conservative, she’s attractive, she’s ethnic, she’s batshit crazy, she’s a Southern Governor — what’s not to love?

    Months ago, I predicted a Scott Walker-Nikki Haley ticket. Not so sure now about Walker, but I still think Nikki might be a player.

  124. 124.

    Tenar Darell

    April 14, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: Applause and bravo for forcing the guy to define his terms or “ragequit” whatever it was.

  125. 125.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 14, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I keep wondering why Nikki Paley’s name is never mentioned.

    (Answers self): Maybe because there’s no such person. Meant to type Nikki Haley.

  126. 126.

    Anne Laurie

    April 14, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    @Turgidson:

    I’d give him a solid 50% chance of being the nominee of anyone other than Jeb, and only because Jeb can’t pick him.

    Nah, he’s crossed his “mentor” Jeb by daring to run this year, and the Bush Crime Family never forgets that kind of treachery.

    If by some miracle (tragic fire in the convention center greenroom, say) Rubio were to end up as the GOP nominee, in 2016 or any future year, every made member of the Bush family will vote for Ralph Warren Kuchinic.

  127. 127.

    Mike in NC

    April 14, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: The local rag reported the other day that a bipartisan group of SC legislators proposed a plan to provide access to health care to 200,000 of the state’s poor residents. Guess who promised to veto that?

  128. 128.

    trollhattan

    April 14, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I’m with Maher at the moment on how it would play out, not knowing what surprises await. Suspect Heb! will blow up and everybody else actually running is too much of a weakling to carry the ticket.

    Regular viewers of Maher’s HBO show would not have been surprised by his wholesale dismissal of the Republican presidential field. Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, he said, was most likely to clinch the GOP nomination because “he’s the worst, and the Republicans, you know, they are pretty good at nominating the ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ candidate. And to me, Mr. Walker is the ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ candidate.” Florida Sen. Marco Rubio has “honesty, integrity, and intelligence issues.” “What I call The Full Palin.” None of the GOP field is “of presidential timbre,” Maher said, including former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.

    “When he was the governor of Florida, he threw an election for his brother, he threw black people off the voter rolls, he crushed the unions, he signed the Stand Your Ground law, he put the feeding tube back into Terri Schiavo,” he said. “This is what passes for a moderate in this party? Yeah, I guess so.”

  129. 129.

    Tenar Darell

    April 14, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    @germy shoemangler: Those ads, they make my lip curl up in involuntary derision. Not at the people giving their testimonials, but at these centers that seem to be selling “cures” particularly to stage 4 patients. They piss me off.

  130. 130.

    Ruckus

    April 14, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    @NotMax:
    Well, if the camera is not closer than the next block.
    Doesn’t matter how close the camera is, the lens cap has to be on.

  131. 131.

    Sherparick

    April 15, 2015 at 7:52 am

    @Kathleen: Rubio is all for bombing all the right people in Brooks’ view.

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