Spent some time on the road running around doing errands, and it was a beautiful day, so listened to some old cd’s I had in the car, one of which was the Who. I get a laugh every time I listen to Squeezebox, in particular because you hear all these people bitching about the music these days, when Squeezebox is the dirtiest song I think I’ve ever heard.
Also spent a good time listening and singing along to Frampton Comes Alive because fuck you I’m old.
While I was driving, I just observed so much general assholery that I began to wonder if anyone pays attention to what they are doing when they are driving, because I seriously doubt it. Judging but what I see every time I drive, most people are concerned with everything other than driving while they are driving, and it drives me fucking insane. I’m not a slow driver by any stretch- many of you would think I drive the back roads here like a maniac, but I’ve been driving these roads my whole life and know every curve and bump, and what not. I am, however, a very careful driver. I always make sure my tires are good and that my windshields are clear and my wipers work, I use my turn signal, I don’t tailgate and leave a couple seconds in between cars on the highway, I know the limitations of my car and always know I have enough power to accelerate out of a problem, and so forth. In short, I pay attention to where I am going. I look both ways twice when crossing an intersection because I don’t want to miss someone on a motorcycle, and so forth. In other words, I am always aware that I am driving a several ton weapon and try to behave as such. A lot of the time, I don’t even listen to music or NPR, because I just like the calm with no barking or phones or noise or what not and just like to concentrate on the drive and nothing in particular to clear my head.
The other day I was driving with someone through a school zone with the lights flashing, and slowed down to 15 like the sign says, and my passenger (who will remain nameless, but it wasn’t Shawn or anyone you know), looked and said “You don’t have to slow down, the cops never sit here.” I just shook my head in disbelief and blurted out “Who gives a shit about the cops? I don’t want to run over someone’s fucking kid fer fuck’s sake.” They don’t put those school zones there to make speed traps, fer chrissakes. They put them there because there is a school and they don’t want people running over kids. Sweet jeebus.
At any rate, as I was driving along today and observed today’s umpteenth example of assholery (two guys in different pick-em-up trucks flipping each other the finger for some reason), I came to a realization. Maybe most people don’t pay attention when driving because if you do, IT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING. The shit going on and the complete displays of no common sense or concept of safety is enough to drive you barking mad if you are paying attention.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Oh, and why are Batman and Superman fighting? Can’t we all just get along?
Edmund Dantes
Batman and Superman are fighting? Frank miller was the biggest proponent of it. His argument being the two men’s personalities and viewpoints shouldn’t really gel.
lamh36
Cause somebody’s gotta teach that “illegal alien” Superman a lesson…damn immigrants
Felonius Monk
Speaking of assholery, Donald Trump has stuck his dick in his mouth again.
ShadeTail
I think driving is as much an artifact of culture as anything else. Out here in the San Jose, CA area, I’ve observed a few assholes who don’t belong behind the wheel, but the vast *VAST* majority are perfectly good drivers who are at least respectful of the fact that cars are dangerous. It’s just not as bad here as people elsewhere in the country like to talk about.
SiubhanDuinne
John, you are, what? in your early to mid-40s? Do you have any idea what it does to people thirty years your senior to see you refer to your young self as “old”?
Well, never mind. You’ll find out sooner than you think.
Betty Cracker
I think you’re right; if you think about it too much, you’d never get behind the wheel again. Better to let a Zen-like state prevail.
The mister and I were almost side-swiped by a lane-drifting, SUV-driving jackass the other day, and I looked over and saw that she was texting. This was on a six-lane road with a 45-MPH speed limit and stop-and-go traffic.
When we reached the next light, I wanted to stomp over, rip her out of the SUV and pummel the idiot, but the mister restrained me. I had to settle for giving her the finger.
Jerzy Russian
Am I missing something? It seems to me that Superman could kick the shit out of Batman in a few minutes, so how can they make a full length movie on this?
lamh36
I’ve got no dog in this fight, but I’m just gonna be there for 2 reasons 1)to see how the woman cast as Wonder Woman does, and 2)to gaze upon the hotness that is Henry Cavill…those muscles….I’m not ashamed to admit, I’m into him cause he’s hawt…I’m not even sure of his real acting ability. I just remember Man of Steel and all the profile and full body shots of him that were taken.
:-)
RepubAnon
Whenever someone tells me that the vast majority of gun owners are responsible and exercise proper safety precautions, my response is typically: “If they handle their firearms with the same level of care that they display when driving, you’re dead wrong…”
AliceBlue
Went to a Peter Frampton concert back in the day and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. Got the album too; I think it’s still one of the best selling live albums of all time.
jheartney
Self-driving cars can’t come too soon.
jharp
I used to drive like a total asshole. Speeding. Drinking beers and driving. Tailgating. Zipping in and out of lanes but no more. Amazing what old age does to a man.
I now obey all traffic laws and think folks who don’t are utter dicks. I also stay in the far right lane as much as possible. Let people merge easily…..
Have not even been pulled over in 15 years.
And yes. Mr Cole. There are a lot of dicks out there and the warmer weather really brings ’em out. Traffic was horrible in Central Indiana today. And people were driving quite recklessly.
Snarki, child of Loki
@ShadeTail: “…here in the San Jose, CA area, I’ve observed a few assholes who don’t belong behind the wheel..”
Those assholes? They’re from Jersey. Truth. You can spot ’em anywhere.
“I began to wonder if anyone pays attention to what they are doing when they are driving, because I seriously doubt it.”
You’re only now noticing this? Sure, they’ll pay attention to the road while driving. If there isn’t anything else more interesting to look at.
John Cole +0
@SiubhanDuinne: I am surrounded by college aged kids. I’m old for my surroundings.
Sibelius
@ShadeTail: Drive the length of Meridian Ave. back and forth 4 times a day and say that. I’m tailgated, flipped off, cut off, you name just about every day, and I drive exactly as Cole does, to a T. When did 40 in a 35 get to be slow? Now most are doing 50, some 60 weaving in and out all to get to the next light AT THE SAME TIME.
Sorry, I live in San Jose and strongly disagree with the VAST comment.
JustRuss
I must confess, while I have never owned a copy of Frampton Comes Alive, when Do You Feel Like I Do? comes on the radio, it goes to 11.
Betty Cracker
@Jerzy Russian: That’s what I said! Superman has preternatural strength and abilities, such as, oh, FLYING? Batman is just a rich dude who can work out as a full-time job and accessorize with expensive shit. No. Contest.
jl
I didn’t know Cole was driving in San Francisco today. I thought he was scared to visit here.
But, I agree.
One way I study for drivers license exam is to try to go out and make sure I observe every law after I study them.
Driving while being carefully aware and vigilant about the laws is eye opening, both the contrast with how I had been driving just before and what I see other drivers (and bikers and bicyclers and pedestrians) do.
Not that I am prefect driver by any means, but at least I try to obey the law and be careful. And I like to drive as undistracted as possible, just like my Dear Leader, JG Cole.
In big city, I propose swarming areas with traffic cops that crack down on shit. They should have big stamps that can punch a record of a moving violation in the fenders of the car. Something hard to hide, punch a symbol with holes through the fender. After a certain number within a year, the mobile car crusher comes out.
I want my local and state government to go Medieval on the dangerous nonsense I see going on.
raven
@John Cole +0: sheeeet
Corner Stone
I swear to Christ that 90% of every person driving on the roads surrounding The Greater Houston Metro Area are texting.
Anytime someone is drifting or slowing down and then speeding up, it is almost always a mobile device.
joel hanes
Squeezebox
One of their worst songs.
Put “Who’s Next” in the box and crank it up.
Baba O’Riley
The Song Is Over
Right In Tune
Behind Blue Eyes
Going Mobile
Won’t Get Fooled Again
Steeplejack
@Jerzy Russian:
I know, right?
Brought up from downstairs:
joel hanes
@Snarki, child of Loki:
Those assholes? They’re from Jersey.
The folks from Jersey complain about those asshole drivers from Boston.
And they are correct.
SiubhanDuinne
@Felonius Monk:
I’ve always kinda prided myself on the size, variety, and accuracy of my vocabulary, but when I try to find the perfect word to describe my opinion of Donald Trump, I come up empty.
JPL
The son’s SO was rear ended today. It appears that there was just bumper damage but I assume an Audi bumper is pretty pricey. In order to get their drivers license the sons were tested in a parking lot. Guess the Atlanta streets were to dangerous to test the kids on.
Betty Cracker
@Steeplejack: “Moochers of the Justice League” would be a great band name.
jl
@Corner Stone:
” Maybe most people don’t pay attention when driving because if you do, IT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING. ”
If more drivers were careful and paid attention, it would not be so terrifying.
I see people messing with their cell phones every day driving around.
Corner Stone
@Betty Cracker:
It’s fucking spooky. I look over at other drivers every day. 90% are looking down at their mobile device.
This is no bullshit. It’s almost everyone. Like that ST:TNG epi where Ryker brought back the game that Ashley Judd and Wil Wheaton were trying to avoid.
Germy Shoemangler
@Steeplejack: brought up from downstairs:
@Steeplejack: Superman was always too “super.”
His powers increased over the years until they became ridiculous. Christopher Reeves turning time backwards by flying around the earth? WTF?
In the early comics, and old animated Fleischer cartoons, he can’t even fly, just leaps tall buildings like a flea. He’s an exaggerated strongman, not a god.
Steve
I saw the Who in lexington Kentucky in 1982. Great show.
BillinGlendaleCA
I live close to a gym, where most of the clientel are people in their 20’s driving late model Benz’s, BMW’s, and Lexus’s. Almost every time I see one of them leave, they get in thier car and pull out of the parking lot looking at their iPhones. I mentioned to the wife, don’t these cars come with bluetooth so they can use them hands free at least? It also seems that these luxury cars do not come equiped with turn signals, at least I’ve never seen any evidence that they do.
ETA: Get off my lawn, damn kids.
SiubhanDuinne
@Betty Cracker:
In all seriousness, I don’t do that any more. Because gunz.
gogol's wife
I love you, John Cole. You have captured my feelings exactly.
SiubhanDuinne
@John Cole +0:
Ah, okay. I guess everything really is relative. (Still, please be occasionally aware of your onion-on-belt-wearing, fist-at-cloud-shaking readership.)
EDITED to be polite.
Howard Beale IV
@Felonius Monk: Trump got into a war of words with John Legere, the CEO of T-Mobile who was staying in a Trump property when he was in New York. After the insult, Legere checked out and a Twitterstorm occurred between the two.
Oh yeah: Some idiot Sunday morning tried to cut in front of me at the gas station as I was trying to leave to get on I-35E Southbound. Once we both got on I35E he decided to flip me the bird in his rusted out ride. He’s damn lucky no one else decided to assume that his finger was meant for them, and I could give a flying fuck if anyone ever gives me the bird.
lamh36
Soo…
I regret to inform you all, that me and my fake hubby Idris Elba have decided to part ways. We spend many wonderful fake years together, but all good things eventually come to and end. He was too busy with work, juggling ghetto hood rats and makeup artists, and just all around dirty dawging it. But we will remain fake friends, and I will continue my google stalking efforts whenever new hot pics are available. Please respect our fake privacy at this time of extreme fake heartbreak… :-)
Sad news all around, I’m sure Idris will miss me.
In other words, I changed my FB profile name…lol.
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
Really.
feebog
Speaking of assholes, the Mrs. and I went for a quick run to Costco this afternoon. After checking out, we got into a bit a line because there was only one person checking receipts at the door. As we slowed down a woman came up creeping up on our right, obviously looking to merge into the line. I looked back and saw there were now at least a dozen people lined up behind me. So I confronted her, pointing out there was a line of people behind her. She stopped, and as we moved up in the line, I told my wife she no doubt drove a BMW. Apparently we were not out earshot, because she started yelling at me, saying she was checking her receipt and was not paying attention to the line. II turned said, “so you aren’t rude, just oblivious, got it.” She shut the hell up, and I walked out smiling.
gogol's wife
@SiubhanDuinne:
The other day in my class, not one of 17 students knew what “stenography” was.
BillinGlendaleCA
@feebog: Most of the asshole drivers around here drive Benz’s; usually black or white ones.
BillinGlendaleCA
@gogol’s wife: The Wisconsin basketball team did and had a lot of fun with her.
ETA: They’d put a few special words in their comments in press conferences during the Final Four to make her job more interesting. Maddow did a segment or two on her show.
Roger Moore
@jharp:
It doesn’t necessarily take old age, just a bit of perspective. I used to drive like a maniac until I realized it wasn’t really getting me anything. My commute is short enough that driving like a complete asshole won’t save me more than a minute or two, and in the mean time it will send my stress level (and my risk of getting into an accident) though the roof. It’s much better just to relax, go with the flow, and enjoy the trip.
Germy Shoemangler
Too many drivers see driving as a competitive sport.
Instead, It should be seen as a cooperative, team effort: “Lets all get where we want to go without getting killed or delayed. I’ll give you lots of room and you give me lots of room. If you need to get into this lane, I’ll let you, just like you’ll let that other driver pass you”
I spent a few years commuting in New York City rush hour traffic. Three lanes trying to feed into one lane for a tunnel. I’d let people in cut in front of me for the greater good of the flow of traffic, rather than trying to be a selfish asshole.
Steve
Recent polls indicate that 98 percent of the people who pull up and park in front of the convenience store blocking the doors and taking up at least one half of the handicap spot are liberals.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Germy Shoemangler: I’ve heard about that before about driving through the Lincoln tunnel(Jon Stewart).
Gin & Tonic
@BillinGlendaleCA: Most obnoxious are men aged 35-50 driving blue BMW’s. That’s like all sciency and stuff. I’d add a MA plate as the complete marker.
Omnes Omnibus
Old is, in large part, a state of mind.
dogwood
@lamh36:
Love Idris Elba in any role, but he will always be Stringer Bell to me.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Gin & Tonic: If I had the cash, I’d probably get a blue BMW. Blue because if my college colors, BMW for other reasons(nickname). Then again, I’m older than 50.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: Sure, you say that now. Wait a few years kid(I’m a few years your senior).
Litlebritdifrnt
Absolutely the best feel good story of the day, professional hunter is trampled to death by the elephant he was trying to kill.
Rest in fucking pieces asshole.
http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/571085/Professional-hunter-trampled-to-death-elephant
jl
@jharp:
” I used to drive like a total asshole. Speeding. Drinking beers and driving. Tailgating. Zipping in and out of lanes but no more. Amazing what old age does to a man. ”
I would go with other commenter that it is ‘perspective’ not just age. A lot of aggressive drivers I see are old white guys. Seem hyper aggressive or bitter or angry about something.
Omnes Omnibus
@BillinGlendaleCA: Aging happens, sure, but being old is something different and it involves a choice.
Felonius Monk
@SiubhanDuinne: I am unable to fathom how anyone could take this guy seriously about anything especially business. He is a flatulating empty suit with a bad comb over.
Gin & Tonic
Went to let a cat out and walked past a TV which is droning to the Chris Hayes show, and some guy in NH was talking about George Pataki, apparently seriously. George Fucking Pataki? Talk about people who will never be President. Pataki? Really?
Germy Shoemangler
@Felonius Monk: His millions of dollars give him a special super power: the cloak of plausibility.
Because people see all that wealth and think he must possess some magical abilities, far beyond those of mortal men.
Steeplejack
@Felonius Monk:
And he’s got two ex-wives. Talk about someone not being able to satisfy people . . .
WereBear
@AliceBlue: Mr. WereBear got me this album by Frampton:
Hummingbird in a Box
and I like it very much!
lamh36
Damn, some sad 80s one hit wonder news. This song is in my head darn near every pay day!
One of Teddy Riley’s best jams!
RIP Johnny Kemp.
Just Got Paid
Steeplejack
@Betty Cracker:
Heh, feel free to use it.
P.S. I would pay to see Betty Cracker and the Crackro-Americans.
Germy Shoemangler
@Gin & Tonic: Remember when Triumph the Insult Comic confronted Pataki at a debate?
Triumph said “this guy cares less about what comes out of his mouth than Kim Kardashian cares about what goes into hers.”
Steeplejack
@lamh36:
LOL, hadn’t heard that in years. Now it’s in my head. Thanks for that.
Shell
And why does rain ratchet up the driving assholery?
CONGRATULATIONS!
I was a bike commuter, in the era right before cell phones took off, thank you Jeebus. I rode through downtown San Francisco every day. Not the safest environment but safe enough.
I now live in San Diego and will not take a bike beyond the confines of my cul-de-sac. People here just do not give a shit about killing cyclists. At all. And the local juries don’t either, it turns out.
I grew up here and learned to drive here, and realized after having been away so long that the basic law of the road here is kill or be killed. Merging onto one of our 6-lane megahighways is always a nice dash of adrenalin to wake you up.
People on cell phones, of course. Talking, texting, cyberfucking, whatever, nobody’s even looking at the road. I’d like to blame that, but can’t. It was always like this here. No one pays attention and everyone figures you can just buy and beg your way out of trouble if you wreck someone’s car or kill them. And you know what? You always can.
Or, if you’re one of the 1 in 3 drivers here from our foreign neighboring country with no license or insurance, it’s a pretty safe bet you can at least run faster than the locals. One of those put my wife in the hospital last year with a concussion for a day. Got her plates, cops went to go pick her up, she was gone. It’ll cost her about $2500 to get a new ID and some hassle to get a new name. Wish it was a lot more.
It’s not quite Miami but San Diego is a bad place to drive, folks. If you come here, please be careful.
Bring on the self-driving cars. And make them mandatory on high-capacity roads.
Mudge
Cloudcroft, NM..mid 70s…van in front of a school zone speed sign, no school or children visible (mid morning). Stopped, told I was doing 5 mph more than I was. (40 in a 35 zone except it was 15 for the school zone). To the police station until I paid my fine, otherwise jail.
Maybe they don’t do that anymore. I doubt it.
Shell
@gogol’s wife: How about ‘payphone’
Steeplejack
@lamh36:
Okay, that video went on too long. Had to cleanse my mind with some Jesse Johnson, which I always associate with the same time period. (This video probably goes on too long too.)
Hungry Joe
About 30 years ago I got a ticket. To keep it off my record I attended a driving class … and it changed my life. It was taught by a very sharp CHP officer, who, with some pretty simple arithmetic, showed that 1) tailgating is not only incredibly dangerous, but it gains you nothing; if on a half-hour drive a dozen people slip in between you and the car in front of you, you’ll lose maybe 10-15 seconds, total — and you’ve got a much better chance of dodging an accident. And 2) speeding gets you next to nothing; if on a half-hour drive you drop your speed by 10mph you’ll arrive just a few minutes later … and when was the last time you regretted not being somewhere a tiny bit earlier? AND you’ll (again) have a much better chance of avoiding an accident, you won’t be hurt as badly if you’re in one, and instead of constantly scanning for and fretting about cops and getting a ticket, you just drive in serenity.
So for 30 years now I’ve driven within a couple of miles of the speed limit, so whenever I see a cop car what runs through my mind isn’t “Oh, shit! How fast am I going? Did he see me? I hope someone else is going faster. Slow down easy, don’t touch the brakes.” Instead, I think, “Oh, look. A cop car.”
dubo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9WivuyE_PU
Germy Shoemangler
@Hungry Joe: If you drive within a couple of miles within the speed limit, you must get tailgated a lot.
Too many drivers don’t give themselves enough time to get where they’re going, and then try to make it up by riding the ass of the person in front of them.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack:
But it’s Soul Train, how can it be too long?
RSA
I had a similar thought the other day: What if I proposed a new consumer machine that that, mostly by accident, would kill from 30,000 to 50,000 people every year in the U.S. alone? Its users but also innocent bystanders? I expect that people would think it wasn’t worthwhile, no matter what that machine were capable of.
I could add that some people would seriously suggest invading other countries and killing their citizens in order to gain control of the fuel for such machines. Crazy, right?
gbear
If you were really old, you would have gone through your Peter Frampton phase years before ‘Comes Alive’ came out. I loved his first two albums, ‘Wind of Change’ and ‘Frampton’s Camel’, but kind of fell out with him after that.
And I can’t shut up about the fact that Squeeze Box may be the fucking worst Who song ever. I can’t stand listening to that album just because I know that song is on it. It’s The Who’s ‘You Are So Beautiful’.
Germy Shoemangler
weird NYTIMES headline:
“Hailing a Bipartisan Trend, Obama Slaps the G.O.P. on Lynch”
Are they trying to be sarcastic?
Omnes Omnibus
@gbear:
Damn, that was cold.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus:
Okay, I watched it to the end after posting. No crowd shots of the dancers, and after the song ends Don Cornelius yaks with the band.
But usually a Soul Train video is a safe bet.
gbear
@Omnes Omnibus: I really hate that song.
Germy Shoemangler
I’ve got Dire Straits “Walk Of Life” stuck in my head because of some stupid pharmaceutical commercial. I don’t even know what the medicine is, but the song is playing an endless loop between my ears right now.
Maybe there’s a medicine for that.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
I never notice people texting because I am PAYING ATTENTION TO THE CARS AROUND ME.
Steeplejack
@Germy Shoemangler:
The only thing that can drive out an earworm is a different earworm. Just remember: choose wisely.
Omnes Omnibus
@Germy Shoemangler: It’s a Small World After All gets rid of most earworms. But then, you must ask whether the cure is worse than the disease.
SiubhanDuinne
@gogol’s wife:
That kills me. I never studied Greek per se, but throughout grade school we spent a fair amount of time reviewing the classical roots of common English words. Anyone in my fifth-grade class would have been able to figure out the definition of “stenography” even if they had never come across that precise word.
:: weeps ::
SectionH
@Germy Shoemangler: East Coast and Chicago drivers seem to be particularly stupid about merges. I have some issues* with California drivers, but they srsly are pretty good about taking turns with merges.
Mr S and I are about to be carless. Either next Tuesday or the Tuesday after. BIG experiment, but this seems to be the time to step up – my plantar f. is in remission, my knees are working, and Hertz has doubled its usual prices. I’m waffling because I’d like to have my Car2Go registration all done first, and I still haven’t decided about taking a few last, large items to the consignment store. Otoh, I just realised that I can ask to borrow my kid’s car for hauling stuff. Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh…
*most of which involve WTF lane discipline
Litlebritdifrnt
The other day I was sat behind a stopped School Bus and the asshole in the pick up truck behind me used the center turn lane to pass both me and the school bus. You know how much time that saved him? None. Because when I got to the red light at the end of the road he was sat there waiting just like everyone else. I hope the school bus driver got him on her dash cam and turned him in.
Another time I was sat at a stop sign waiting for traffic before I could turn right. I routinely wait for a decent gap in traffic because I was always taught that it was just rude to make the person you pull in front of brake because you turned. The pick up truck behind me (why is it always pick up trucks) obviously thought that I was not being an asshole and proceeded to pull to the left of me, and turned right, right in front of my car and into a constant line of traffic causing several cars to brake hard. The worst part was was that when I caught up with him at the inevitable stop light he had Federal Dealer Plates on the truck. I made a note of the plate number and called DMV, turns out they were FAKE dealer plates as DMV had no record of them.
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
Preach it, Brother Goldman.
NotMax
@Omnes Omnibus
Ah, grasshopper, the reality of being old is a state of body.
It’s an ongoing carnival of revelations.
Roger Moore
@Germy Shoemangler:
I suspect that a lot of crazy driving isn’t so much an attempt to get places faster as an attempt to deal with frustration. Driving can be incredibly frustrating even when you aren’t in a big hurry. There is something you’re trying to do, and circumstances prevent you from doing it. People drive at a different speed from what you think is appropriate, lights change just when you’re getting to them, gaps in traffic are just too small to turn into safely, etc. Instead of trying to relax accept the problem as temporary, and deal with it, people get aggressive and cut the safety margin. They zip around somebody who’s driving a bit slower, gun through yellow lights, try to squeeze into that gap that’s too small, and so forth. It’s more about the problem of the moment than about the big picture question of being on time.
Omnes Omnibus
@SiubhanDuinne: @NotMax: See above.
SectionH
@Omnes Omnibus: There’s always the Llama Song. Some people would rather keep their earworms.
Germy Shoemangler
@Roger Moore: I try to adopt a zen-calm approach and love all humans, so when someone tailgates I imagine: “maybe he’s not being an asshole. maybe he just got a call about a family emergency.” And then I pull to one side and let them pass me.
It’s better for my blood pressure.
WereBear
@Hungry Joe: My cruise control is an awesome tool in that endeavor.
NotMax
@https://balloon-juice.com/2015/04/17/on-the-road-all-day/#comment-5316263
Posted this previously, but it will eradicate of an earworm (the cure, however, may be worse than the disease).
Roger Moore
@Omnes Omnibus:
The closest I can think of to an earworm that’s worth driving out that way would be a Ceti eel.
lamh36
@Steeplejack: Lordt…gotta the 2nd tier Prince protogee’s, they all sounded just like him. At the very least, Morris Day did NOT sound like Prince vocally
Still loved that song
Omnes Omnibus
@NotMax: Or this.
WereBear
@Roger Moore: I think far too many people go around a hairsbreadth away from total freakout. Which leads right to the behavior you describe. They can’t take one more barrier to what they want to do.
Why yes, I’ve worked with “the public.”
NotMax
Corrected.
@Germy Shoemangler
Posted this previously, but it will eradicate of an earworm (the cure, however, may be worse than the disease).
Addendum.
@Omnes Omnibus
That’s cruel and unusual punishment.
Steeplejack
@NotMax:
I think we’re due a trigger alert on that.
WereBear
My earworm cure is some James Brown. Works, and I don’t mind that stuck in my head.
Gravenstone
@Germy Shoemangler:
Back when it was current, I had the tape in my car. Was driving my grandmother somewhere and “Walk of Life” came on. She said it sounded like a “damned funeral dirge”. Guess she attended some pretty upbeat funerals.
Roger Moore
@Germy Shoemangler:
When a tailgater passes me, I try to reassure myself with the thought of “better in front of me than behind me”. I think the same thing about those crazy idiots who weave through traffic much faster than everyone else.
Helen
No. No they do not. They don’t pay attention on the NYC subway system either “People around me? Surely you jest!”
Can you tell I’ve had a bad commute?
Omnes Omnibus
@lamh36:
Damn right.
Germy Shoemangler
@Gravenstone: I remember cassette decks in cars.
The sound would get muddy, I’d say “oh shit!!” push STOP, and then remove the cassette, trailing fifteen feet of tape behind it.
And when I was walking, I’d occasionally see a ruined cassette on the side of the road, no doubt tossed out the car window of an anguished music fan.
Gravenstone
@Germy Shoemangler: I can say that I never had a tape get eaten. Guess I beat those odds.
NotMax
@Helen
Back when I lived for a time in the ass-end of Queens, my roommate refused to accept my tales of the commute to work in Manhattan. (Walk from work to subway, take that to end of the line, walk to bus, take bus to end of the line, walk to apartment.)
Until one time when his car was in the shop and he went into Manhattan. “I never believed you, but I looked at my watch and it took over 2 hours!”
Only advantage was in the morning, as always got a seat on the bus (start of the route) and on the subway (ditto).
So far as driving, am mostly laid back about it, except get peeved at bicyclists who use the bike lane but insist on hugging the line along the roadway. Ride in the middle of your dang lane and keep your body parts out of mine!
Also a pet peeve is drivers who, when merging, pull up to the end of the acceleration lane and come to a full stop there, waiting for an opening.
trollhattan
I’m sufficiently cured (sounds better than aged) I attended one of the “Frampton Comes Alive” shows. So my rock and roll career comprises yelling on a guy’s album. Good show, too.
Irony Abounds
Frankly, I am sick of these comic book movies and tv shows. Christ Almighty on a pogo stick, isn’t there some other sort of inspiration for the younger generation than friggin comic books?
And Superman vs. Batman is just plain stupid anyhow. Other than walking up with a shitload of Kryptonite, how the hell can Batman possibly do anything to harm Superman. Superman simply goes up to Batman and beats the everlovin’ shit out of him. End of Story. The concept reminds me of sort of a reverse of the first movie I ever saw in a theater: King Kong vs. Godzilla. Of course, that “fight” was at least objectively a more even fight.
SiubhanDuinne
@Felonius Monk: Stunning, isn’t it?
NotMax
@Germy Shoemangler
True summer camp story.
Camp owner driving a 15-passenger vanload of kiddie puts an 8-track into the player. Comes soon from the back:
“Turn it off!”
“That’s garbage!”
Owner pulls out the 8-track, opens his window and tosses the tape out. “Happy now? Anyone who complains again is going out next!”
Silence reigned.
SiubhanDuinne
@Shell:
Most cars these days (I think) have lights that turn on automatically. But I’m always kind of flabbergasted by the number of people who drive in dusk/crapuscular weather with their lights off. And they invariably drive cars that are dark grey — exactly the colour of rainy days.
Helen
@NotMax: I’m not in the “ass end of Queens” I am in the best part – Forest Hills!!! Start of the R line – YAY about that seat. But still. Sometimes it hurts. Or as REM says “Everybody hurts; sometimes.” Oh hey where the hell is Little Boots when we need him?
SiubhanDuinne
@Germy Shoemangler:
Not working, is it?
Gin & Tonic
@NotMax: “Bike lanes” are a menace to bicyclists. If they are physically separate from the roadway, then they’ll have joggers and stroller-pushers and dog-walkers and other non-bicyclists blocking traffic. If they are just delineated by a paint stripe, then they will have road debris and double-parkers and truck-unloaders and other dangers.
If I’m riding my bicycle, I take a lane. I’m legally entitled to it, and if you have to slow down behind me, too fucking bad.
raven
@Helen: Just for you
Syd Barrett/R.E.M.
Dark Globe
raven
I know ya’ll weenies know about this on the Full Moon Fever CD:
Helen
@raven: Thank you Raven. That there looks like one of those 78 record things. Wow. Ain’t seen one of those for quite a while.
Keith G
Big and energetic thunderstorm has been hammering Houston and Galveston. The lightening and thunder have been going on for twenty minutes.
Quite a show.
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen:
I’m going to get in trouble for this, but I for one have never needed Little Boots. LB kind of creeps me out, if truth be known. Perhaps that’s just me.
raven
@Helen: Yup, the fellas are celebrating Record Store Day.
raven
@efgoldman: It’s an endless fucking argument.
trollhattan
@SiubhanDuinne:
Stalking is stalking, and never welcome.
NotMax
@Helen
For whatever it may be worth I was in Queens Village, only a scant few blocks from the Nassau county line.
@efgoldman
No clear memory of what it was. It took place like 40 years ago (possibly more).
@Gin & Tonic
Mostly I see the stupid bicyclists on the bike lane or the shoulder abutting the highway to and from town (55 mph for cars). So strollers not a concern there. Bicycles, mopeds and an occasional profusely sweating, unhappy looking jogger.
raven
@efgoldman: It does huh?
NotMax
@Keith G
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but that pushed the candy apple red pedant peeve button.
Lightning.
Lightening is what bleach does.
Steeplejack
@efgoldman:
I get that. I meant to choose wisely in what you use to try to dislodge it. Cure worse than disease, etc.
Cliff in NH
@Gin & Tonic:
WOO Hooo!!! Exactly.
It was on the driving test too.
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
I did too until a couple of days ago when he referred to himself in the masculine.
SiubhanDuinne
@trollhattan:
Stalking, yes, and NEEDINESS.
Helen
@NotMax: Yeah that the ass end of Queens. For sure. It’s rally Nassau but also Queens (Property taxes represent!)
Steeplejack
@efgoldman:
Self-identified as a gay man, I believe (if one can believe things on the Internet).@
SiubhanDuinne: Oh, hell, I’ll take a thread full of Little Boots vs. T&H or some of the really toxic trolls we have had in the past. L.B. isn’t even really a troll— more like a (slightly dysfunctional) garden gnome. In honor of whom, by the way . . . His stalkerish pose on Omnes is mostly a larf, I suspect.
Adam L Silverman
John,
If you want explicit, try Fairport Convention. You’ve got Tam Lin based on the lay by Burns or The Widow of Westmoreland’s Daughter, which is a traditional arrangement, or Dear Mr. Lacy. But for pure filthy goodness, double entendres, and sexual innuendo you want The Bonny Black Hare. The link to a video of it below includes the lyrics:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MY3o7WZ1Uao
If you call it folk music, you can sing about anything!
Keith G
@NotMax: Thanks for the reminder. Next time I’ll be more careful with my fingers. Been a while since I’ve pushed a guy’s candy apple red button.
Think I’ll have a cigarette.
Jeffro
Here’s how Batman beats Superman, in an utterly believable way (for superhero fiction, that is):
http://www.amazon.com/Batman-Knight-Returns-Frank-Miller/dp/1563893428/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429321853&sr=8-1&keywords=the+dark+knight+returns
A classic!
NotMax
@Helen
Has an LIRR station, too.
But the trains didn’t stop there during rush hour. And only about every third train stopped during off-peak times. Go figure.
But it was quiet and had lots and lots of old, tall trees shading the streets. All private houses with spacious yards on my street, with the sole exception of the apartment building I lived in.
Mobile Grumpy Code Monkey
@Betty Cracker:
The walking personification of paranoia up against the Big Blue Boy Scout? I’ll put my money on the bat…he cheats.
TerryC
On high speed roads I speed faster. I’m rarely passed on multiple lane freeways and highways. I am of the opinion that I am safer when I am passing people than when they are passing me. So I usually keep it that way.
On surface streets, as a purely personal, exercise of self control, I have for nearly 40 years adhered as closely as possible to every single traffic law (except parking). If the speed limit is 25, that’s what I do; if it’s 45, that’s what I do.
Two weeks ago I rented a red Tesla Model S in San Francisco and drove down the coast then back up the Skyline Boulevard. Didn’t speed once. Full stop at every stop sign.
Kind of a split personality.
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: Really? I am not creeped out by anyone on the internet cuz it’s the internet. I think we (well maybe not you, but me for sure someone here ) talked about Corner Stone a week or two ago and everyone HATED him. I said that I am a little bit in love with him. He speaks his mind.
@efgoldman: Not me. Always though a male.
NotMax
@TerryC
There’s a section of the posted at 55 mph highway here where the speed limit drops to 45 for (I’ve measured it) exactly 1/10th of a mile, then goes back to 55.
Other drivers display upset when I slow down there. Too bad for them.
NotMax
@efgoldman
Knot eye.
Gravenstone
@Mobile Grumpy Code Monkey: Yup. Bats can basically beat anyone, as long as he has time to study them and prepare.
RSA
@efgoldman:
LOL. You got me there.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Jeffro:
Can you give us the shorter on how he actually does it? At least a clue, maybe.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack (phone): It turns out that Supe is ticklish….
Jack the Second
I’m barely thirty and feel old all the time because half my barely-twenty coworkers fucking skip down the hallways with the unbridled energy of the truly young.
Gin & Tonic
@raven: That’s what the Internet is for.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Omnes Omnibus:
Damn, I should have known that.
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: I’d never, ever pass a stopped bus on the right. Too dangerous for me.
Bokonon
My co-worker was killed in a multi-fatality accident on a highway here in Colorado on Wednesday night, by a driver going the opposite direction who crossed the median at high speed and crashed into a line of cars.
Ask me how I feel about careless, stupid, irresponsible drivers. ASK ME.
Corner Stone
@Keith G: Was pretty awesome display of M. Nature’s power. Wiped out my DVR and/or cable.
Corner Stone
@Helen: Wait, what?
SiubhanDuinne
@Steeplejack: He stalks you, he stalks Omnes. None of my business, and I never (what, never? well, hardly ever!) participate in the overnight threads, but I do read them (sometimes even in real time) and form my own opinions. I don’t want to overanalyze, but he comes across to me as slightly pathological. You and OO clearly don’t agree, and that’s fine.
Corner Stone
@Bokonon: How do you feel about those?
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: You didn’t know?
@SiubhanDuinne: He’s mostly harmless. Abysmal taste in music though.
Bokonon
@Germy Shoemangler:
I recommend “Love Comes in Spurts” by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. That ought to cure the hell right out of that earworm.
Try “Your Love is Like Nuclear Waste” by the Tuff Darts if that fails.
Corner Stone
@Steeplejack:
I’ve never understood this. What was/is wrong with T&H?
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Almost ashamed to post the link, but what the hey.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Corner Stone:
Not permanently, I hope.
Been thinking about getting a better UPS/surge protector for the “media corner.”
Bokonon
@Corner Stone:
Like killing them. With their own smartphones.
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen:
We all respond differently, just as we would, and do, in real life. CS bothers me not at all. LB weirds me out. I adore Tommy; others here do not. JSF offends many, but I just laugh. It’s what makes this (Balloon Juice in particular and the Interwebs in general) a great place to hang out.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone:
Have you seen Cole’s Dead painting? Isn’t that enough? For the love of Christ, is that not enough?
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: My power and cable and internet went out. I’m on hotspot.
So…wuh?
SiubhanDuinne
@Gin & Tonic:
When I first learned to drive, I was hammered with the mantra:
Helen
@Corner Stone: A couple of weeks ago, somewhere in the galaxy, or maybe here, some people were saying that you got nasty or were an asshole, or something. Can’t remember.
SiubhanDuinne
@Bokonon:
How terrible. I am so sorry. And sickened. And furious.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Tonight is not the first night she has made such intimations.
Steeplejack (phone)
@SiubhanDuinne:
But basically benign, I think. If someone calls him on posting trivial music in a serious thread, say, he desists. Compare and contrast with some of the real trolls.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Omnes Omnibus:
Hey!
Corner Stone
@Bokonon: They scare me to fucking death. Every. Fucking. Day.
These fucking assholes.
gnomedad
New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Any fool can copy and paste a naked link as the entirety of a comment.
And often does.
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: Hey, it’s about me, and what’s dangerous to me. I don’t care if I hit somebody else, it’s that *I* don’t want to get hurt.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack (phone): Sorry, but he picks the worst of ’70s drivel.
Steeplejack (phone)
@NotMax:
Which, as I said, I’ll take any day over someone actively spewing vitriol.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: Actually, I paid T&H good money to commission a three part series of art for me.
And I love it, and it is awesome, and it is more than I could have asked for in the beginning.
His celeb caricature may be one thing, or it may not be for everyone. But I admire every day some work I asked for, and I love it.
So. Meh, you fuckers.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack (phone): It’s okay; NotMax is in a mood.
NotMax
@Omnes Omnibus
Indeed. You said a Joe E. Brown mouthful there, O. O.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Long conversations over the details?
Corner Stone
@Steeplejack (phone): Screw you, asshole!
SiubhanDuinne
@gnomedad:
@efgoldman:
And as usual, I misread the headline and thought it said “ANGEL-FUELED CARS,” and I was all like, “Bring it, Gabriel!”
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: Oh that is fascinating. Cuz we have such different reactions.
LB makes me happy. I wish I could be as short (meaning say stuff in 2 words) as him
CS – well I said I love him.
Tommy freaks me out. I stopped responding to his posts because I think he is full of shit and if he is not I am soooo mis-reading his posts that I do not want to engage. . NO ONE in real life says “I am a far left liberal” FOUR THOUSAND TIMES. He is trying too hard. Therefore he is full of shit.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: Back and forth. Back and forth.
The work really is awesome, IMO. I love it and I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about the artist. I got exactly more than I could have asked for.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Not quite up to your Tommy parodies, but good.
I am sure you have no idea what I mean.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Omnes Omnibus:
So, by the transitive property of music, that means the stuff I post that he likes . . . oh, dear.
Eh, I think those were his happy clubbing/coming out days. At least that’s the story I have made up in my head.
NotMax
@HelenObligatory brevity citation.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack (phone):
I don’t disagree, but a lot of that stuff explains why punk had to happen.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Corner Stone:
Hope you like pie, tardwick!
Corner Stone
@Steeplejack (phone): Chocolate pie! The OG kind made with pudding. And if cleek’s filter says otherwise it is a fucking liar!
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Hey, did you ever make a decision about a new bicycle?
Steeplejack (phone)
@Omnes Omnibus:
Well, no argument there.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: Haven’t bought one but looking at Cannondale Quick or Adventure models.
They don’t sell BMX style for people my size where you can do wheelies down the street.
Totes bummed.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: What do you mean?
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: When I was testing before I bought my Quick, I found that it was the most responsive of the bikes in its class. Like slalom skis instead of giant slalom, if that makes sense.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: You’re up first against the wall, yer honor.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Eep?
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen:
Different floats for different boats, I guess. It basically means that everyone on BJ has at least someone to love them, and I think that’s a good thing.
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax:
One of my all-time fave stories.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinneFrom the same link, one which had not encountered previously.
A scrollable page devoted to the humor of Calvin Coolidge. The inter tubes at times are really quite amazing.
Stacy
We recently moved to Northern Virginia and man is the driving here crazy! Statistically were better drivers than Marylanders or DC residents but everyone here seems the think their time is more important than anyone else’s. I’m constantly amazed at the amount of major, flip over, car totaling accidents there are on our 40mph roads! I’m always tailgated and I refuse to tailgate the person ahead of me so I’m always cut off as well. I just flip my review mirror up so I can’t see them on my ass and let the cutters in. Life is too short.
Corner Stone
@Helen: You and SD agree on at least one thing.
Life is good.
Steeplejack (phone)
@NotMax:
Surely that should be “delivered with a flourish”?
Surprised the CARPP button was not pressed.
NotMax
@Steeplejack
As it was contained within quote marks, cannot fault the site.
(Likey mucho the CARPP acronym, though.)
phein39
@JustRuss:
I had that album on 8-track in basic training/jump school in the ’70’s. One of the brothers in my company asked me one day, “Do you white boys really like that music, or just wish you had the hair?”
Had I been honest, I’d’ve said, “Both.”
Omnes Omnibus
@phein39: Just off-hand, what company were you in at jump school?
phein39
Shit, now you’re going to make me look my photo album from jump school.
In Basic at Leonard Wood, I was in A-5-2, 2nd Platoon.
In Infantry AIT at Benning, I was in H Company, 104th Infantry (an NG outfit ).
In Jump School, for the life of me, I can’t remember my unit designation. I’ve been back to Benning as a DAC since, and I’ve even been in the mess hall of the building for my company, but it isn’t coming to mind (38 years later). I want to say Bravo something of the 507th, but that could be what I’ve seen on later visits. We were in the north half of the second set of buildings on Riordan.
We were the last group through in 1976, before Christmas. We had two-man rooms with wooden doors with slats, and walked guard through the halls at night. I had a little 8-track player with one speaker, and I’d play “Frampton Comes Alive” and the Yes Album over and over. My friends would try to get me to play Earth, Wind and Fire, or the O’Jay’s, or something a little less whiteboy, but, shit, man, you gotta go with what you know.
Omnes Omnibus
@phein39: I was in Alpha – the first set of buildings of the street. I lived in the BOQ during jump school. I did duty officer one night and some dipshit slipped out and got himself arrested. The permanent staff went nuts and wanted to fuck everyone over. I told them that as the OIC it was my responsibility. I got duty officer the next night as punishment. Forty-eight hours with no sleep and the jump school agenda sucked.
ETA: I was 12 years later.
phein39
I really think the purpose of Jump School is to teach you to take responsibility for fucking up in even the slightest, and therefore not to.
I once spit in the sawdust pits, and a Black Hat who sounded like Dracula told me “Do Push-Ups!” for what seemed like 10 minutes. We had another Black Hat, Sgt Torch, who pounced on any unbuttoned uniform portion with such glee you’d think he’d uncovered a plot to overthrow the government.
I was just enlisted, but we had plenty of officers, mostly Marines and Navy, including some 0-5 Navy dude who washed out without even going the Juliet Tango Golf route, just couldn’t do the PT.
I will say this: As a 17 year old in 1976, the Airborne Special at the Enlisted Club blew me away: Long Island Tea with six cherries!
Omnes Omnibus
@phein39: FWIW I made out with a female marine officer the night after our 5th jump. Drinks may have been involved
phein39
Not me, just drinks and on to Alaska.
Take care,
Pete
Omnes Omnibus
@phein39: Cheers.
Doug
“Pictures of Lily
Made my life so wonderful
Pictures of Lily
Helped me sleep at night
Pictures of Lily
Solved my childhood problem
Pictures of Lily
Helped me feel all right”
That is all.
Zinsky
Always liked the Who’s music, but their lyrics I always considered dumb, vulgar or sophomoric. As far as distracted driving, I am right there with you, John. One day, I decided to count how many of the people who went past me on a particular street were doing something other than driving. It was three out of four! Talking on cell phones, texting, shaving (!), brushing their teeth, eating a burger – friggin’ incredible! I am shocked that there aren’t more accidents, since no one seems to give a f*ck about paying attention!
Stardus614
You want to talk old? I had no idea that was a dirty song. That’s old.
sherparick
@RepubAnon: Such a great point that I am going to steal it.
wrb
“fuck you I’m old.”
You never saw Keith and Donna, let alone Pigpen. Dribbling infant you are, I’m sorry