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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / Late Night Horrorshow Open Thread

Late Night Horrorshow Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  April 19, 20152:01 am| 53 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Jump! You Fuckers!

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@jmartNYT @maggieNYT My proposal: Fiorina, Graham, and Bolton appear in a balcony over the debates a la Statler and Waldorf.

— Katherine Miller (@katherinemiller) April 18, 2015

… And then Trump will insist on his own box, decorated “very tastefully” with lots of cheap gilding, faux leather, and his reality-show camera crew. The Paulistas will dream up an elaborate monkeywrenching stunt involving rock-climbing equipment, which they will fail to adequately test in advance of the event. Therefore Dr. Ben Carson will get to show off his medical expertise when somebody falls into the audience…. unless the unfortunate lands on Chris Christie, sulking in the front rows, who will devour him whole, like an alligator with a cattle carcass, in a state of enraged pique.

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Previous Post: « Open Thread: #FITN (Typical NH Truthiness)
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Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    NotMax

    April 19, 2015 at 2:06 am

    The more attention we give them at this juncture, the more empowered they feel.

    What the media needs badly is Lazy Reporters Anonymous.

  2. 2.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    April 19, 2015 at 2:11 am

    A bit from today’s knitting convention that only about three (maybe five) people on this site will appreciate, but they’ll really appreciate it: Susan B. Anderson had a raffle after her lecture and I won a skein of Cookie A sock yarn that was given to Anderson by Clara Parkes. Envy me.

  3. 3.

    jl

    April 19, 2015 at 2:19 am

    The heckling from the balcony act has already been done, not sure the GOPers can match it

    MILTON BERLE SHOW 1966 Irving Benson hilarious as heckler Sidney Shpritzer
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGQkC9K-qEY

  4. 4.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 2:19 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    I do envy you, and I don’t even know what it means.

    But I can relate. I received a Marvel No-Prize from Stan Lee (or, more likely, one of his minions) in about 1968. Would that I still had it.

  5. 5.

    Amir Khalid

    April 19, 2015 at 2:20 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):
    I envy you.

  6. 6.

    jl

    April 19, 2015 at 2:24 am

    Maybe Henny Youngman could run, he would be good in a debate

    Henny Youngman heckles Milton Berle 1966
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTM252Zffq0

  7. 7.

    jl

    April 19, 2015 at 2:25 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): I am envious too. I have no idea what you are talking about. I’ll check back for an explanation tomorrow.

    There will be an explanation, right?

  8. 8.

    Amir Khalid

    April 19, 2015 at 2:25 am

    I tend to agree with Katherine Miller, but I suspect Carly Fiorina would rather be among the Muppets, and rubbing elbows with the special guest, than out on the balcony with the old fogeys.

  9. 9.

    srv

    April 19, 2015 at 2:29 am

    The main thing missing from this campaign coverage at BJ is Drudge sirens that sound like cowbell.

    BTW, the site redesign really sucks. Worse than Obamacare.

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    April 19, 2015 at 2:32 am

    @jl:

    Shortest explanation is to say that they’re three well-known knitting authors. It’s like saying I got a Stephen King book from Michael Chabon that had been given to Chabon by Amy Tan. Or that Rachael Ray gave me an Alton Brown cookbook that Bobby Flay had given her.

  11. 11.

    Hal

    April 19, 2015 at 2:32 am

    I’m still trying to figure out why Fiorina thinks anyone is even remotely interested in her as President or VP. Though now as I’m typing I wonder if this is her way of reminding people of her existence as she plans yet another run for the Senate since Boxer is retiring.

    I was also wondering how she had time to run for President until I scanned what she’s been doing since HP from wikipedia. A whole lot of board Presidenting. So that’s makes her perfect for CEO of America, or whatever nonsense she will claim.

    After resigning from HP, Fiorina was named to several board memberships. She was named to the boards of directors at Revolution Health Group[59] and computer security company Cybertrust.[60] The following year, she became a member of the board of directors for chip maker Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company.[61] She joined the board of trustees of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and the Foundation Board of the World Economic Forum. She is an Honorary Fellow of the London Business School.[62][63][64][65] In July 2012, Governor Bob McDonnell of Virginia appointed her to the James Madison University Board of Visitors.[66]

    In April 2012, Fiorina became chair of Good360, a nonprofit organization in Alexandria, Virginia that helps companies donate excess merchandise to charities

  12. 12.

    srv

    April 19, 2015 at 2:36 am

    Magnitude 4.1 – 7km W of Langston, Oklahoma
    2015-04-19 05:27:15 (UTC)

    When will you people realize End Times are near?

  13. 13.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 2:36 am

    Trump will insist on his own box, decorated “very tastefully” with lots of cheap gilding, faux leather,

    and a large brightly lit “Trump” sign.

  14. 14.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 2:38 am

    @jl: Something about needles and Pasadena, reminds me to get some new piercings.

  15. 15.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 2:41 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    I think you mean this. Very tasteful.

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    April 19, 2015 at 2:42 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    Art Center had their graduation at the Civic Auditorium at the same time as the start of classes at the convention today. Led to quite the clusterfuck traffic-wise. I was very glad I left Burbank an hour ahead of time.

  17. 17.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 2:44 am

    @Steeplejack: More like this: TRUMP.

  18. 18.

    Suzanne

    April 19, 2015 at 2:44 am

    I am trying to figure out how to correct candida overgrowth (yes, my doctor said I had it, not making it up). I get perioral dermatitis, and it is much less bad than it has been in the past, but it still sucks.

  19. 19.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 2:45 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): Ah, the piercing shop is a bit east of there.

  20. 20.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 2:45 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    As someone who used to be an attendee/exhibitor at big computer shows, I am amazed at how few event organizers apparently think to ask, “Oh, by the way, what else is going to be going on at the same time?”

  21. 21.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    April 19, 2015 at 2:46 am

    @Suzanne:

    I have heard that in England, they apply yogurt topically. No idea if it’s a folk remedy or if it actually works.

  22. 22.

    Amir Khalid

    April 19, 2015 at 2:51 am

    @Hal:
    She’s on the board of directors at all those places; her director’s stipends (the welfare programme for damaged business celebrities) presumably cost far less than the damage she could do in an executive position.

    Re her academic qualifications, Wikipedia tells us:

    Fiorina received a Master of Business Administration in marketing from the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland, College Park in 1980. She received a Master of Science in management from the MIT Sloan School of Management under the Sloan Fellows program in 1989.

    I now think rather less of MIT and the University of Maryland.

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    April 19, 2015 at 2:51 am

    @Steeplejack:

    It’s a good-sized facility, but it’s not at all clear from the site maps that the conference center and convention halls are in different buildings that are separated by the Civic Auditorium. There were many confused gymnasts wandering around the conference center trying to figure out where the convention hall was that their meet was in. And the signage put up by the various groups was small and not informative.

  24. 24.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 2:55 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    So, a typical exhibition venue, then.

  25. 25.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 2:56 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    “Confused Gymnasts.” Not quite a great band name, but there’s one lurking in there somewhere. Maybe that’s an album title.

  26. 26.

    Suzanne

    April 19, 2015 at 3:00 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): Tried it. Didn’t get rid of the rash, but felt nice.

  27. 27.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 3:00 am

    I’m still having aftershocks from the soul music fest downstairs. The Four Tops, “Ask the Lonely.”

    ETA: Not trying to start anything. Just seems like this is the only place people are awake any more.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    April 19, 2015 at 3:03 am

    @Steeplejack

    First time I met Stan Lee and had a chance to chat with him (not at a convention), got a huge belly laugh from him by marching right up to, extending a hand and announcing “It’s a pleasure having you meet me.”

  29. 29.

    Redshift

    April 19, 2015 at 3:04 am

    @Hal: Given her attack-chihuahua sniping at Clinton, I suspect her pitch is that having a vagina-American on the ticket will make them immune from accusations of sexism. A lot of them are probably clueless enough to believe it, since a lot of racists seem to still believe that “I have a black friend” should work.

  30. 30.

    Anne Laurie

    April 19, 2015 at 3:12 am

    @Suzanne: Chewable acidophilus tablets?

    The other standard candidiasis treatment I know about involves a dilute solution of povidone iodine, and I wouldn’t risk trying that on your face unless you talk to a medical professional first.

  31. 31.

    Amir Khalid

    April 19, 2015 at 3:16 am

    @Redshift:
    But Hillary hasn’t been saying, or even hinting, “Vote for me, I’m a woman.” No one has been saying she has, either, aside from people on the fringe like Fiorina and Trump the Vulgar and Stupid.

  32. 32.

    David Koch

    April 19, 2015 at 3:18 am

    Back in 2007 they had 10 to 12 freaks on stage at any given time, as you can see in this actual ridiculous photo.

  33. 33.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    April 19, 2015 at 3:22 am

    @Amir Khalid: Sloan at MIT is one of the few business schools I actually respect. Everywhere has a few crappy alumni and we’ve identified one of theirs.

    Really looking forward to getting this Kickstarter underway finally.

    I had about five minutes of excitement with a fire panel going down in a facility in outstate Minnesota. Sysops called people out before I could.

  34. 34.

    ruemara

    April 19, 2015 at 3:34 am

    @srv: when you shut the hell up.

    I’m up too late. Spent the day in the hot sun, taking pictures. I got a film job! Unpaid (of course). 5 location days, but I’m going over maps, people I’m responsible for, wondering if I should email people for dietary needs. Then I realize I have a week, try not to be crazy. Here’s hoping I remember how to p.a.

  35. 35.

    Steeplejack

    April 19, 2015 at 3:35 am

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:

    Somehow I sleep easier knowing that you’re on the case, without even knowing what the case is.

  36. 36.

    Amir Khalid

    April 19, 2015 at 3:37 am

    @David Koch:
    I recognise Mitt, Huckabee (whose weight seems to have crept back up since), McCain, Ron Paul, and I think Giuliani. I have no recollection of the other candidates.

  37. 37.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 3:50 am

    @Amir Khalid: I took a peek at wiki, I think you only missed the current Gov of Kansas.

  38. 38.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    April 19, 2015 at 3:53 am

    @Steeplejack: New Prague won’t burn down on my watch.

  39. 39.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    April 19, 2015 at 4:06 am

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Damn shame about Old Prague.

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    April 19, 2015 at 4:14 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): I’m not sure that I understand about yarn even after your good analogy. It reminds me of when someone tried to explain crochet, needle point and some other method of … knitting? In any case, congrats.

    BTW, what tablet do you use?

  41. 41.

    RK

    April 19, 2015 at 4:32 am

    Fiorina is a wreck and Huckabee’s been dipping his squirrel nuggets in maple syrup.

  42. 42.

    Origuy

    April 19, 2015 at 5:27 am

    I’m thinking of the wall of the old Laugh-In show, where the performers were all behind little doors and would pop out with one-liners. Jeb could be Dan Rowan, Cruz could be Dick Martin, and Carly could be Goldie Hawn.

  43. 43.

    Bystander

    April 19, 2015 at 6:20 am

    I think Carly has been getting beauty tips from Mary Matalin. Plus rotten to the core, which tends to manifest itself in the visage.

  44. 44.

    Keith G

    April 19, 2015 at 7:07 am

    @Hal:

    I’m still trying to figure out why Fiorina thinks anyone is even remotely interested in her as President or VP.

    Many business executive types are propelled by an internal motor fueled by a belief that they have truly unparalleled skill sets and vision. And they can maintain this despite abundant proof to the contrary.

    Sometimes that drive/fixation/mania is the only true skill set they possess.

  45. 45.

    MomSense

    April 19, 2015 at 7:39 am

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    Congrats! Very envious am I.

  46. 46.

    debbie

    April 19, 2015 at 8:17 am

    @Hal:

    Wonder what she thinks of Boxer’s haircut now?

  47. 47.

    Exurban Mom

    April 19, 2015 at 8:17 am

    @Steeplejack: The answer to that is very simple: there is no perfect day to pls n an event. There will always be something else going on somewhere near your event. One should try, of course, to avoid scheduling yourself against events that are huge, but most big cities are hosting many events in any given week.

  48. 48.

    satby

    April 19, 2015 at 8:39 am

    @Keith G: amen to that. More of a monomania than a skill set though.

  49. 49.

    Hal

    April 19, 2015 at 8:42 am

    Steve Kornacki has Rick Ungar and some republican strategist on talking about Hillary Clinton’s “disastrous” first week. Um, what? One point was that her travels were contrived. Ok, but that’s what running for president is; contrived.

    Another complaint was how she changed her mind on gay marriage later than Obama. Isn’t that old news, especially given the way all these gop candidates are tripping over themselves to change position.

  50. 50.

    Peale

    April 19, 2015 at 9:46 am

    @Hal: like every gay man I know, I plan on voting for Obama in the primary just to get even with her for being late to the bandwagon. Nothing makes me angrier than someone who changes their mind on that issue lol.

  51. 51.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    April 19, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Rick Perry: There are three things wrong with this debate. The participants, the moderators, and……

    Oops.

  52. 52.

    Brachiator

    April 19, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    @Hal: I give less than a shit that Hillary changed her mind later than Obama about gay marriage. I only care where she is now and what she may do to protect civil rights in the future. Impossible retroactive purity tests are a waste of time.

  53. 53.

    David Koch

    April 19, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Obama never changed his mind on gay marriage, he’s always supported it. What he did was lie.

    I don’t think that’s a big deal because that is what people have done throughout history in order to move history. FDR campaigned on balancing the budget in 1932. Does it matter that he lied? Lincoln didn’t campaign on abolition in 1860. Does it matter that he lied? Lincoln lied to Congress to get the 13th amendment passed. Does it matter? JFK and LBJ didn’t support desegregation in 1960. Does it matter that they lied?

    If Elizabeth Warren could get Medicare For All passed but would have to lie in order to accomplish it, would it matter? I don’t think one person would care.

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