dang penn and teller look like shit these days pic.twitter.com/4X4AxB8KBS
— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) April 22, 2015
Buzzfeed attempts to go even weirder than all those ‘favorite 1980s-tv-characters-choose-your-best-presidential-candidates’ listicles, with “Putin’s Action Hero: How Steven Seagal Became the Kremlin’s Unlikeliest Envoy“:
Vladimir Putin knew his relationship with the United States was nearing breaking point when he met Barack Obama in Lough Erne, a picturesque lakeside golf resort in Northern Ireland, on the sidelines of the G-8 summit in June 2013…
Suddenly, Putin proposed a bold new idea: make Steven Seagal an honorary consul of Russia in California and Arizona, and thus a potential intermediary between the White House and the Kremlin.
Seagal, the martial artist turned washed-up action hero, was just the man to pull U.S.–Russia relations back from the brink, Putin said, according to four current and former U.S. officials. An American patriot through and through, Seagal truly knew Russia too: He was in touch with both his Russian roots — his grandmother was from Vladivostok — and with senior figures in the Russian political and security apparatus. Seagal and Putin had met in Moscow a few months earlier; the two men enjoyed a lunch at Novo-Ogarevo, then visited a martial arts complex. Putin’s spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, told reporters that the two men were longtime friends. That all made Seagal the ideal poster child for friendship between their nations, Putin told Obama, according to the U.S. officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to talk publicly about diplomatic matters.
Obama was flabbergasted. “Our reaction was, ‘You’ve got to be kidding,’” a U.S. official who was present at the Lough Erne meeting told BuzzFeed News…
Putin’s unlikely bromance with Seagal speaks to a core tenet of his rule: that political power is star power, and the president is the biggest celebrity of all. Under Putin, politics has become a carefully stage-managed TV show where spectacle takes the place of substance. The defanged parliament is stacked with actors, singers, and athletes. Putin enjoys public adulation more befitting a Hollywood star than a politician. He regularly appears on the cover of celebrity-gossip magazines. His public appearances don’t displace primetime programming: They are primetime programming…
Seagal seems to tick all the right boxes for Putin. Both men were born in 1952 and hold black belts in Japanese martial arts — Putin in judo, Seagal in aikido. They profess their admiration and respect for each other. “I would like to think I know him well, but suffice it to say I know him well enough to say that he is one of the greatest world leaders, if not the greatest world leader, alive today. He cares more about Russia than anybody I know, and he’s not afraid to stand up and do what needs to get done,” Seagal said in a 2013 interview with Russia Today…
Somewhere, Mike Myers just woke up screaming and he has no idea why.
Can those two men live in harmony…without driving each other crazy? Da dumpa dumpa daaaa
Okay, right on this page here I’m looking at an ad with some little third-world kiddies getting a drink of water from a pipe sticking out of a wall, and the caption says, “We make caring sustainable. WE ARE KOCH”.
I’m trying to wake myself up but nothing is working. What the everlovin’ ratfuckin’ fuck??
Gérard Depardieu is just soooo jalouse.
Tit for tat, can we send the Kardashians to Omsk, Minsk and Pinsk?
Villago Delenda Est
It’s all cult of personality, all the time.
Oh God, there’s a website. “WeAreKoch.com”. Teh suck has reached a new and horrrifying level. Some braver idiot than me is gonna have to check into this here.
BTW, does anybody remember “We’re Beatrice”? Yeah, that didn’t go over so well as I recall.
I guess Seagal had to find a new grift to produce income… Seagal tried reality TV shows as a cop and he can’t do the gym equipment schtick as that’s been taken by Chuck Norris.
I thought Mr. Seagal was too busy assisting Sheriff Joe Arpaio in destroying the livelihoods of Arizona’s Hispanic poultry farmers to have time to be an honourary Russian consul.
I have a feeling that this is all being secretly filmed for Steven Seagal’s big comeback movie, Corridors Of Power.
Major Major Major Major
I posted two pieces of fiction tonight on my new blog, and I’m curious what everybody thinks.
ETA: Seriously, I’m curious!
They are entitled:
A Day Late and a World Short
mai naem mobile
Okay,so this is an Onion article right? RIGHT? Tell me this is a fucking Onion article because if it is not, I just want to burrow myself a hole and hibernate my way through several years.
@NotMax: Armenia was part of the old Soviet Union.
You’ve got to wonder if this is part of Putin trying to convince the west that he really is nuts so don’t piss him off. He’s the wild eyed crazy kid with a gun.
It makes sense if the purpose was not rapprochement with President Obama but instead to ingratiate himself with the Republican base and leadership.
Netanyahu tried something similar, sans the celebrity endorsement.
It’s probably significant that they each feel Republicans will be more accommodating to their objectives, despite those objectives not exactly aligning with America’s collective national interest.
mai naem mobile
Does anybody really give a shit about Bruce Jenners transition? Can we just forget this family. I didn’t even know who these idiots were until they invaded my twitter feed. Also too, these are.not attractive people. I.don’t give a crap about them being attractive but,jeezus, isn’t that part of the deal if you don’t have anything else to offer in terms of a reality show?
Also also too, back.on my very important superficial observations -has President Obama started coloring his hair? He looks less grey than before.
Who’s he gonna call? Jackie Mason was booked and George Jessel is dead.
Looks like Segal better stop making so many stops at Krispy Kreme. It’s really hard to say something funny about these two pathetic, testosterone-challenged middle-aged turds having a “bromance”. The world would be a much better place without both of them!
@mai naem mobile:
No. I’m old enough to remember his decathlon Olympic moment, so when I first saw an article about the sex change I figured, ok, that’s kind of an interesting epilogue but only of 5 seconds interest to someone my age, and of no interest at all to anyone under 50.
The continued cover- story interest has been of great puzzlement to me.
@Randy P: Happy the guy is doing what he wants but I have no desire to know the details about it. No idea why, other than money, his family is on TV 24/7.
On the basis of the photo, I’d say the fitness equipment gambit was not an avenue available to Mr. Seagal at present. Likewise, Jenny Craig. He may consider pioneering the celebrity endorsement of manziers, tho. I know I’d pay attention if I saw that on the tv.
Also Grecian 40 Weight.
I thought the same thing until I heard some of the 20 somethings in my office talking about it – they were really excited about the interview. I asked them how they possibly had a fuck to give, and they responded on how much they love the train wreck.
Thankfully, Obama’s dealings with the GOP Congress had prepared him for this moment.
@Randy P: Just another little thing. I try hard not to judge people. I am also comfortable in my body. Seems Jenner might not be and honestly I am not sure what that is like. I would think it is pretty painful. Not something I’d wish on anybody. But I see pics of him and I want to scream. Somebody needs to intervene and tell the dude to stop the plastic surgery.
It just makes no sense to me, why you’d go under a knife and have all this shit done to your face.
@Botsplainer: I’ve never watched a second of the Kardashian reality TV show. But it has got to be a train wreck isn’t it?
@Tommy: I asked the kid why Kim Kardashian(she was thinking of running for Mayor of Glendale) was famous. She said, “she did a sex tape and has a big ass”.
ETA: Her run for mayor was based on the rather large population of Armenians in Glendale(25% of the population). She did have a couple of problems, she didn’t and doesn’t live here, and we don’t elect a mayor. It’s an honorary title that rotates among the city council.
Frustrated man charged by police after shooting his uncooperative computer
About all I can say is, it’s a good thing I don’t live in town.
@BillinGlendaleCA: I am so happy I didn’t even know she did a sex tape :). That is knowledge I don’t need.
@OzarkHillbilly: This sounds like a better solution: The Gates.
@Tommy: I’m sorry that I enlightened you about that.
Saw an opinion piece yesterday in the NYTIMES by David Brooks: “The Talented Mr. Rubio”
“The first-term senator still shows up only with 8.3 percent support on the Real Clear Politics average of 2016 Republican presidential nomination polls, leaving him tied for 5th in the field. But primary voters are open to him; the upside is large.”
Brooks also mentions Rubio’s “charisma”
♪ I smell a sitcom ♫
@BillinGlendaleCA: Heh… Kids these days. There is hope for the future after all.
I have never been interested in Steven Segal’s movies so I feel a bit uncertain about it, but wouldn’t Segal qualify at most as a B-lister? Or would it these days even be a C-lister?
Stacking the Duma with celebrities to hide its powerlessness vis a vie the government is sort of depressing if you look at it from the pov of a functioning political system. But then so is the stacking of Congress with yahoos, especially, but not exclusively, as regards the House. I am not sure what is the more promising strategy to compete on the meteorite target font.
I’ve noticed the lipstick on a pig ad on tv but haven’t actually watched it to end being mindful of my blood pressure. I haven’t seen the water pipe ad pop up on websites though.
@Germy Shoemangler: They were gushing over Marco the day after his announcement, saying it was the best speech since St. Ronald.
Somebody is fucking with LGM. This is the second time in 10 days I’ve tried to visit it and gotten bombarded with cascading porn spam on my iPhone. I get that activity nowhere else.
I am shocked, shocked I tell you:
NRA may have systemically broken political spending law – report
The IRS, whose budget to audit and investigate wrongdoing has been slashed to a fraction of its size a decade ago, may not have the resources or will to pursue the NRA. Handicapped by anti-tax Republican lawmakers who control Congress, it is also struggling with fallout from revelations that its leaders targeted conservative groups for audits.
What a tactful way of saying his polling is in the celler.
@OzarkHillbilly: I have a theory that lawmakers are reluctant to “go after” the NRA because they’re worried about finding bullet holes in the windows of their offices or homes.
@Baud: Brooks wants a young republican to win. Therefore he will craft his narrative to fit his desired outcome. Polling in the single digits? “Nowhere to go but up.”
@Botsplainer: I’m not having that problem, but their mobile site is down again. Maybe those issues are connected?
Isn’t this all predicated on the idea that Segal is still a star?
Seagal could run for the R nomination– “Thin compared to Christie.”
@Ryan: When I saw the above photo of vlad and segal I honestly thought it was from madame tussauds. They have that “early beatles on the cover of sgt. peppers” look about them.
Saying Rubio has charisma is unbelievably pathetic even for well-compensated Brooks.
He had a good run for a while.
I kind of suspect that the real game is to build Marco up into serious contender status not for this election, but future ones. Given the fundamentals in presidential election years, the GOP is likely to be experience 2016 a repeat of what happened in 2012, ie a ‘shock’ result in light of the wave in the preceding midterm election that in the mind of conservatives had unmistakenly signaled how the country was with them and not the ‘libtards’.
After much soul searching and head scratching the same conclusion as in 2012 will emerge: the GOP is getting screwed good and well because of its standing among women and minorities. And Marco will emerge as a twofer: a viable candidate and somebody who was prepared to address the immigration issue. Question is, will the base allow tackling this issue at that point? If so, Rubio may have it made for 2020.
This is a Coen brothers’ film waiting to be made:
Rabbi convicted of conspiracy to kidnap in forced divorces case
Prosecutors said the rabbi’s team tortured the men into granting divorces and used brutal methods and tools including handcuffs and electric cattle prods.
@Baud: I guess I missed it.
@Baud: What was good about it? (and no, I do not accept his making large amounts of money from really bad movies as “good”. In fact, I think it fairly fits the textbook definition of “evil”)
Putin looks very small in that photo. I’m surprised he didn’t stage-manage that any better.
That’s what I meant. Amd his name was out there in the biz for a few years. He might have hosted SNL once.
@Baud: The SNL cast reportedly said he was the worst guest host ever.
It’s always weird to see republicans, who spend a lot of time and energy bashing Obama as a “communist,” swooning over a communist.
@OzarkHillbilly: sounds more tarrantino than Coen, but I’d like to see a John Waters version, if he still makes movies.
Look, if Dennis Rodman could be the go guy for North Korea, Steven Segal is more than qualified to serve as the ambassador to Arizona
Wait — what?
@shpx.ohfu: I think of it as swooning over a KGB agent, which is not so surprising.
@shpx.ohfu: One of my buddies, big time right winger, became so disenchanted with the leftward tilt of America that he moved to. . . .VIETNAM!
@Amir Khalid: Good one, but Steven Seagal movies must follow the construction:
Steven Seagal… IS… TItle of Movie
So it would be something like The Excitable Envoy Boy.
I’d say that was a singularly vapid piece, but then again it was David Brooks.
The one thing I found interesting was the title. Is it really believable that whoever wrote it was unaware of the allusion to a young wastrel turned psychopathic killer and eternal fugitive?
@raven: Big thing with right wingers actually: move to a third world country where they can live like kings on SS, not pay taxes, and be unfettered by pesky nanny state regulations. Where lots of them live in gated communities so they’re able to ignore the actual conditions the citizens of their “haven” live in. Talk about “Ugly Americans”.
And, totally off topic but you all have been my lifeline: tax refund has landed and in 10 minutes the Quicken Loans offices open and I can bring the mortgage current!!! Woo-Hoo
The long dark winter is over… though we just had a hailstorm that looked like snow on the ground. But that’ll melt!
Pictures like that make me miss commentary from General JC Christian, whose reaction probably would have required a trip to Seattle for a session with the Terrible Spatula of Redemption.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@OzarkHillbilly: When I saw the headline, I seriously thought that was going to be Cole.
@mai naem mobile: I think the transgender people are treated poorly in our society. Bullied, beat up on, killed. There are a lot of high profile gays and lesbians so kids do see role models. There are no truly high profile transgender celebrities. If Bruce Jenner can be that high profile celeb, even though it’s happening via the trainwreck Kardashians, I think it’s a good thing. The more people who see it and understand it is for the good.
Outside of that, no I don’t care. I think the whole Kardashian thing is ridiculous. But enough people care that it’s made them rich.
@Violet: We don’t get as much Paris Hilton thrown in our faces as we used to. Now the Kardashians have assumed that role.
At some point, the cameras will weary of them, and it’ll be on to the next Person We’re Supposed To Be Fascinated With. I suspect as she grows older, the press will get ageist and cruel, the way they talk about Madonna.
Tree With Water
I seem to recall Seagull also enjoyed polishing the knobs of mafioso in NYC during his film hayday. In one movie I know he plays a cop who tells a mob boss, “Don Giovonni, I honor you always”, or something like that. And Putin is so far removed from what’a what in the States that he thinks Segal rates with people here.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
My god, and we call the GOP performance art, just wow.
@Germy Shoemangler: There are a lot of younger Kardashians coming along–well, I guess they’re Jenners, as they’re Bruce’s daughters. One of them is a model and that one or another one just turned 18 I think. I don’t think we’ll be rid of them soon.
I’m amazed that people don’t know anything about Bruce Jenner’s transition or Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. I feel like I can’t escape that family. Standing in line at the supermarket they’re on the covers of a lot of the magazines, headlines blaring out about whatever the latest it. Turn on the TV and if an entertainment show happens to be on before I change the channel, there they are. Even “real news” has segments on them. Online the ads on the bottom or side of posts I want to read have click-bait about Kardashians. Articles about other industries will talk about them–music because Kim married Kanye West. Tech because Kim Kardashian’s mobile phone game is one of the most successful mobile phone games ever. They’re everywhere.
I have never seen a minute of a Kardashian show but I feel like I know far too much of what goes on in their lives. That’s how pervasive they are.
@Violet: Since there is limited time and space and attention, I feel like they gobble up all the attention that could otherwise go to smart young political activists and older folks who are doing important charitable work. I feel like there is a big segment of the media who wants attention directed away from smart subversives, and so Kim and others are dangled for distraction.
Reading the above, it sounds like I’m wading into paranoid blog commenter territory. But if just a fraction of Kim K’s publicity were bestowed on old and young activists we’d have a better environment.
There’s a freshman in college, a young lady who is bringing a lawsuit because of global warming. There are senior citizens who are organizing and vocal. We hear little or nothing about them.
@Germy Shoemangler: It was ever thus. Bread and circuses. The Kardashians and their ilk are the circuses.
Congratulations! That’s got to be a huge weight off your shoulders.
Tree With Water
@Violet: Yeah. To think, there was a time I thought the omnipresent Osmond’s were super annoying, where in comparison to the K crew Donnie and Marie today look more like Lennon-McCartney..
@Tree With Water:
This reminds me of South Park’s Raising the Bar episode:
Paul in KY
@mai naem mobile: Speaking as someone who watched Mr. Jenner kick ass in 1976 Olympics, if you’d said back then ‘You know, someday he’ll become a woman’. I would have laughed hysterically & thought you were freaking nuts.
I guess you live long enough, you’ll see it all…
Mike in NC
Steven Seagal bears a striking resemblance to Ivan the Terrible.
hedgehog the occasional commentator
@Major Major Major Major: I like!
Maybe, but I still think we should tighten international sanctions on Arizona.
Hey, nobody pointed out the screamingly obvious thing here.
We’ve all been wondering just exactly why Republicans like Putin so much.
It’s because he’s Reagan.
Quaker in a Basement
SEAGAL: “Hahahahaha. Suck it, Rodman!”
@MattF: true dat