Is there anything worse than a fucking cord getting wrapped around a fucking swivel chair wheel?
Of course there are worse things — death, injury, child abuse, cancer, racism and genocide spring immediately to mind. But a fucking cord getting wrapped around a swivel chair wheel is goddamned annoying as all fuck.
I’m not mechanically inclined. I’m able to assemble a swivel chair and screw the wheels onto the frame, and I know that the chair rolls because the wheels are round.
But there must be untold complexities to that wheel assembly — wheels within wheels, perhaps — because if a cord ever gets wrapped up in there, you might as well just snip the fucking thing off as closely to the wheel as possible and resolve to drag that chair around on three functional wheels for the lifetime of that piece of office furniture.
Maybe it’s the little fenders that enclose the wheels that cause objects that get caught up in them to become so resistant to extraction. Shopping cart wheels function in a similar way.
Once, when my sister was a kid, she got her hair caught in a shopping cart wheel assembly, and she laid there bawling on the floor while our mom and a cashier attempted to free her. She ended up with an asymmetrical haircut that was somehow held to be MY fault, but was I the dumbass who put my hair in the path of the cart in the first place? Nope.
Anyway, fucking things getting caught in fucking wheels! I hate that shit. What piddling crap like that pisses YOU off?
Just Some Fuckhead
People driving slow in the left lane which is the whole damn state of North Carolina, as near as I can tell.
Close second: people that need to be prompted with your horn to put their smartphone down and proceed at the green light. Someone could make a gazillion dollars with an app whose camera watches for the green light and prompts the driver to go.
And here I thought what you REALLY hate is Cuban tree frogs. Let us know when there’s a Betty Cracker novel available. I would LOVE to read it!
Whoa. This literally just happened to me about an hour ago. How did you know? Are you a witch?
I thought I was reading Cole for a minute.
Wheels? That fucking spinning wheel on my computer. More and more lately
@Just Some Fuckhead: We have a lot of that in Michigan too, as well as a lot of people refusing to use their goddamn turn signals ever.
Whoa. jeebus fucking christ don’t get me started! People who approach a green light like they are scared it will turn yellow and then look both ways twice before they creep through and I’m behind them pounding on my wheel and crying because I just fucking know it will turn before I can get there and the cop will pull me over when I go through anyway because it should have been my turn and then call for backup when he sees me bug eyed and red faced, chewing on my arm.
Working all day taking down stairs only to trip taking chicken to the grill, going to the ER, taking 7 stitches and now having a MRI and cancer scare because the finger X-ray showed a lesion on my forearm.
Wait.. Is that an Apple cord? Ha Ha!
Getting blamed for something my sibling did because I’m the oldest and I should have stopped him.
I hope that power comes with a Green Lantern power ring or something, because they don’t listen to me.
Major Major Major Major
People assaulting me pisses me off.
Krav Maga class tonight, relatedly.
Long breaks between new posts on the weekends.
@jeffreyw: They are going to a new one that is going to replace EVERYTHING!
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: When will you have an opinion on the lesion?
Actually two fucking MRI’s, they called me back for a second one.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Wednesday. It’s a hoax but it’s even odds they’ll want to do a needle biopsy just to hurt my fishing trip!
@Major Major Major Major: So is Krav Maga really all that and a bag of chips? People talk about it with such awe. I never before had a chance to talk with someone who tried it.
I am sorry to hear you were attacked; I hope you weren’t seriously hurt.
Just Some Fuckhead
New main characters introduced into the story in season 2, 3, 4 or beyond. If your story sucks so bad it has to have new characters invented to save it, fuck your story.
Just Some Fuckhead
Bloghosts who can’t be bothered 90% of the time to blog on their own blog but bigfoot everyone else when they do.
One of the main reasons I’m sticking with Android is the use of standard power connectors.
Ah jeez, no, raven. You are incredibly good at rolling with all the punches, but you’ve had way more than your share of shit lately. I hope it turns out to be a nothing. When will they have results for you?
Edit: Never mind, just saw your reply to Bella.
When I was in high school, a friend’s mother got her hair stuck in an escalator. She got a nice settlement out of it, but her injuries were pretty horrific. That is definitely a hateful thing.
My big peeve lately: i am at work, where DARPA is conducting experiments to see how long people can tolerate exposure to absolute zero. I get my heavy coat on. I get my two blankets arranged. I get my earphones on and get the coat hood arranged over them. I get my gloves on and start typing.
Then someone runs through yelling “Meeting by [big boss’s] office in 5 minutes!”.
Just had a meeting of my alcoholics synonymous group. Today we heard stories from a barfly, a juicer, and a boozehound.
A recent trend by cashiers- sorry kiddies it’s usually young people- not to be bothered giving me the penny share of the change from a transaction. $3.17 is not 3 ones, a dime, and a nickle. And they’re not putting the pennies in the take one/leave one cup. It’s like *pfft* pennies? Why bother?
@beltane: My nephew was killed in a balcony collapse in Florida, where they don’t hold with socialism such as building codes or carrying capacity. My brother got a settlement. Nephew is still dead.
Been there, done that. It’s a giant pain in the ass and scary as hell but it’s going to be a big nothing (or like mine 4 years ago) beatable.
You’ve got to be OK. You’re the only one here who actually testified to liking my music!
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Useless POS then. The best thing that happened to laptops was being able to read any kind of data storage. Is Apple going to provide all the cables to connect everything so it can be read?
While we’re at it: I HATE posting this again —
Well, BJ family:
It’s apparent that my Kickstarter effort is going down in flames. It’s over on May 9th and currently I’m $14,378 short of my $15,000 goal. (Or, put another way, I’d need another 575 pledges of $25 in three days. Not very likely…)
I want to thank the Juicers who put their money where their mouths are and assure you all that no cards will be charged because I missed the goal.
On the upside, I still believe that producing a CD to celebrate my 50 years as a musician is a worthwhile goal and I’m going to try it again.
I’m going to go at it considerably more modestly (about half my original goal) and I’m going to try to self promote it prior to putting it back online. Cutting the goal means I’m going to have to lean on some industry folks to give me lowball pricing to still get the same quality product but I’m going to use the 50 years of contacts to apply that pressure so keep your fingers crossed.
A question for you all: My wife suggested that I ought to do it on GoFundMe rather than Kickstarter because with GoFundMe all proceeds are funded unlike the Kickstarter all or nothing model and I could at least get started even if it required a couple of times out to finish it. Maybe I could refuse to sell CDs to gays. That seems to be a winning strategy on GoFundMe. Any opinions?
Once again, I really DO appreciate the support I got from this community. And the notes I got from some of you that you’ll be in again if I have to do it again. It’s obvious that I’ll have to do it again. I just don’t know enough people with discretionary money.
The downside of being a working jazz musician for a half century is that literally most of the people you know are either equally broke jazz musicians or no longer on this earth.
(I had a friend who died 10 years ago after a lengthy career with Nina Simone, Miles Davis & Weather Report and his mother still had to solicit funds to bury him. What a tribute to our lifestyle!)
Anyway, thank you all and WATCH THIS SPACE for the new push!! It will probably be in about a month while I try to figure out how to do it right.
In the meantime I’ll give you occasional videos in hopes of winning some new converts.
Here’s one from our friends at YouTube:
@Pogonip: I’m sorry. That is horrible. The glibertarians never foresee such such things happening in their paradise.
Major Major Major Major
@Pogonip: I go to one of the few legit places. It’s brutal. I did tae kwon do back in the 90s and it’s nothing like that. All martial, no art.
Good workout too.
Lay the chair on the floor and unwind the cord. You may have to hold onto the wheel in the castor so it doesn’t work against you. I suggest sitting on the floor with the wheel at eye level.
The packaging on some cheeses which one can open but never, ever get to snap together closed again.
People at a bank teller who are receiving cash and only then start rooting around in their purse for a wallet. Without stepping aside to let the next customer get to the counter.
Gray text on a black background.
Companies doing legitimate phone business but which seem completely unaware of the existence of time zones.
Turn arrows which don’t stay green long enough for the number of cars which the turn lane was built to accommodate.
Cretins who park over the line of the parking space.
Supermarket sales flyers touting lower prices on some brand with small print saying “selected varieties.” Which in practice means “sale is good only on those varieties we have selected not to stock.”
@p.a.: Oh, yeah, business peeves. I will never, ever place another catalog order by phone. I have difficulty understanding heavy accents over the phone, and the poor souls can’t just take your order, they have to try, and try, to sell you other stuff. “Many of our customers who order the night sights have found they also enjoy the Isis-member castrator for only $19.99, can I add that to your order?”. “No, thank you.”. [If I wanted it I’d have ordered it.]. ” And would you like a membership that gives you a teeny-weeny discount, for only $29.99?”. “No, thank you.”. [I am not going to pay the company for the privilege of buying its merchandise.]. ” And today only, if you order one more item…”. And on and on and on. Probably the only thing worse than listening to this shit is having to say it, in a foreign language yet, 50 times per shift. From now on, if I can’t mail in an order form and a check I’ll do without.
@Ajabu: I had you on my reminder list but when it was obvious I couldn’t put you over the top I didn’t pledge. But I remembered you.
And I would say you DO need a build up, a fan base, a PING! on the radar for this. Like do you have a Youtube channel of your work? Isn’t MySpace the music social media site? Whatever you can do to gather people FIRST will pay off.
Glad to hear you are still in the game and by all means refine your approach and go after it again.
I’ll be watching for it.
Leaving this first world problems rap video right here.
Why I never do anything on the phone if I can help it. If I hear a person expressing themselves phonetically I will seek other options. Because I can fix simple problems myself, and these folks have not been given the power to do anything else.
And those phone menus that have you hit a dozen different numbers as they sort you out and you wind up with a person who knows nothing about you. For the love of spam, I just gave you my autobiography in numbered key presses! Why do you know nothing?
@NotMax: I won’t read things, no matter how interesting, in gray, white, blue, or worst of all, red, on a black background. I check Black Gate once a month in hopes they have changed their color scheme.
Here’s a really trivial one. I like to read People while on the treadmill because it stays open and is (or used to be) just on the edge of unreadably inane while not actually going over that edge. But now it (a) is largely devoted to the Duggars and Chris Kyle’s widow and (b) has tiny light-blue print on a white background sometimes, especially in articles on “sexiest men alive.” You can’t read that s–t on a treadmill.
Airport (not Airplane!) is on. I picked the wrong week . . . .
Y’know, “sexiest men” should be sufficient. The “alive” part ought to be a given.
If they didn’t make that proviso, Cary Grant would have to win every year.
But if she were to do that, she might notice the dove hiding underneath.
Repeating from earlier for nighttime crew. (Posted it as a repeat in the wrong thread below.)
TCM alert. All times Eastern.
Friday, 11:30 a.m. – Purple Noon. Stylish French thriller with a very young (and very shirtless) Alain Delon, lovingly photographed Italian scenery, and the sprightly music of Nino Rota. Later remade in Hollywood as The Talented Mr. Ripley (the title of the original novel).
On Monday, a trifecta present for NotMax’s birthday, back-to-back-to-back Margaret Rutherford Miss Marple treats.
6:45 a.m., Murder She Said
8:15 a.m., Murder at the Gallop
9:45 a.m., Murder Most Foul
@Ajabu: Well that’s a kick in the ass… not of the good sort. But I was serious when I said if this happened, I’ll kick in again when you decide how to make your next approach to fund raising. Best wishes to you – I hope to be the proud owner of you music down the road! Keep us posted please.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Better than having a repeat CT scan, I guess.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Another first world problem annoys the snot out of me. People who want to argue with me about how great soy everything is for everyone. None of whom have ever bothered to read any actual research, so they are unaware of soy’s estrogenic effects and how that changes everything. Early puberty for both genders? Soy and BPA influence. Obesity? Soy and BPA influence. “But, but, but, they say – so and so famous fool (like Gwyneth P) tells us how much better soy milk is than actual milk and how much healthier tofu and tempeh are than meat!” Forget data, or anectdata – my grandma was quite healthy eating pastured meat and poultry, at least a dozen eggs a week and lots of butter. It’s a matter of faith with these fools.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Among the few hard and fast dietary rules I observe, not eating livestock fodder is near the top.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Soy is also not recommended for people on thyroid meds. Though I actually like tofu, I have felt better since removing all soy based foods from my diet.
@beltane: I avoid it too. The more one looks, the worse it gets.
@Major Major Major Major: “All martial, no art.” I like that. Sounds like the karate classes I took in my college years that were all art and little martial.
I need to make a t-shirt: “3 years of karate and all I can do is get my ass whipped in Japanese.”
Assholes who park in disabled spaces, or in the crosshatched spots next to disabled spaces, especially if they justify it because are just going to make a really quick run into the store.
The fact that you CAN make a really quick run into the store is the reason you don’t need the effing space. Your excuse is salt in the wound, get it?
@Pogonip: Buying the Barnes & Noble DISCOUNT card. I know the cashiers have to try to sell me one but one time I tried explaining that I had to buy $250.00 worth of books/magazines to make up the $25 spent on the 10% discount card. The cashier didn’t seem to understand my point. I don’t actually start to save money until I’ve spent that $250.00. And you have to rebuy the damned card every year. If it was a one-time purchase I might consider it but not having to buy it each year.
this is something that’s getting under my skin:
doorbell is not working. It’s one of these battery-operated things. I put three new “C” batteries in the chime. Still not working. I oiled the button. Nothing.
I don’t feel like dealing with this shit.
Also, I mentioned in an earlier thread the moron in the tractor trailer who drove over my front lawn and crushed my wife’s flowers, knocked over a sign and a pole, and left deep tire tracks on our property. It looks like the site of a monster truck rally.
Both a first AND third world problem, as it were: getting a totally unsolicited call from some Indian asshole who says “This is Microsoft support…”…etc. Which is a total scam – like I’d give network access to some unknown and unsolicited voice over a phone. It must work in some cases because motherfuckers won’t quit, even after I started responding with “you’re a liar and don’t call this number again”.
In other news, I really hope that this is actually a piece from the Onion, but fear otherwise.
I suppose Jeb! could be using the Bill Kristol system – do the exact opposite of whatever the dude says. This method can’t fail.
Edit: if I ever got serious about listing the things that piss me off on a daily basis – like people in the express line at the grocery with forty things in the basket? These people should be taken out and maimed – I’d be hours about it and the list would need constant revision.
@danielx: I think you will enjoy these videos of people trolling phone scammers.
One of the scammers is from “microsoft tech support” and another one is from “the IRS” and people taped themselves wasting the scammers’ time. (Many of them are remarkably gullible, for scammers)
Today I’m being bugged by NBC allowing Tom Brokaw to hawk his new book on both the nightly news and Dateline under the guise of a cancer story. As the spouse of someone battling cancer, this really offends me.
@beth: That’s a major peeve of mine. “News” stories that are really just long commercials for a book or a film or a tv show. Because the parent company of the news show also owns the publisher/film/tv company.
And it’s presented as news.
Caster City (dot com). Get the big honking wheels (I get the ones for hardwood floors, there are [too] many choices, follow the directions on the web site and be prepared to cough up some bucks, alas). Throw away the cheap plastic wheels that came with the chair.
Note: the chairs get TALLER when you do this; beware of “chair won’t go low enough”…
@danielx: I’ve had at least two of those Microsoft support calls, although the voice told me “Windows support”. I answered “Windows doesn’t call people, good bye” and hung up.
I also had a lot of calls from people trying to get me to switch from Con Ed for my electric service. I kept telling the people “my Co-Op complex HAS ITS OWN POWER PLANT, I DON’T GET CON ED POWER.” Took many calls before that stopped.
And what’s wrong with Murder Ahoy! at 11:30?
I saw a great card designed by a cancer survivor:
“Please let me be the first to punch the next person who tells you everything happens for a reason”
@PurpleGirl: Twice I’ve had young men come to my door with sloppy-looking clipboards and fake I.D. tags, checking to see if I’ve “gotten my utility discount”
It’s a scam to get me to sign up with their bogus energy provider who would simply tack on an additional charge to my already large bill. Both of them lied and claimed to be with my energy provider (they’re not).
Next time it happens I’m calling the cops.
Phone scams are one thing, but when they appear on your front porch it’s a bit TOO invasive.
I’m sure there’s a great deal wrong with it.
@Germy Shoemangler: I had one man (in a business suit) come to my door one day to talk about retail power purchases. I explained to him that all 7 buildings in the Big Six complex get power, heat and gas from our own power plant. I was just the only person who opened their door. He seemed surprised and I told him not to bother with anyone else in our 7 buildings. He thanked me for the information and left.
NYS changed power service to this retail purchase plan with claims that buying power from third party non-generators could save people money. Since I once worked in a law firm’s Public Utility Department, I did a little research and it seems that the retail sales could have saved me, oh, 13 cents a month. I like owning my own power plant.
Trying to untangle a pile of coat hangars is right up there too…..
Hot shot young defense lawyers who think cross examining a cop for four hours when it could have been done in fifteen minutes will somehow turn his case around. Putz.
Wires caught in your chair? Tell it to Shaq.
Late to the thread but I’d say this has to be the winner.
Thread is probably dead.
I got a call from “Florida Power and Light billing office” at 1 am in the morning. I had neglected to pay $4?.?? from last August and if I didn’t settle the bill right now, they would be forced to shut off my electricity until the matter was cleared up. If I disputed the charge and they lost, they wouldn’t charge my credit card. It was just a hold until the matter was cleared up. I started screaming that FP&L’s billing office doesn’t make calls at 1 am. Second, they don’t cut off people’s electricity in the middle of the night unless the house is on fire. Third, if they called me or anyone else ever again, I would prosecute.
Another call I got from a bogus company, the guy wanted me to verify my name, address, phone number and social security number. This was in regards to the possibility of my data being compromised. I asked him what the fuck do you want? He said he wanted to not be cursed at and I told him he called the wrong fucking number then and hung up.
It annoys me but it is scary that some people could be scammed by these bastards.
@SWMBO: I love your response to the second guy, which made me laugh.
After reading some of these scams I’m relieved my dad never got these calls after he was in his 90s, and it makes me wonder how sharp I will still be in another 30 years.
I hate packing peanuts. I order quite a few things online, mostly books and clothes, because nobody around where I live stocks some of the things I want. I had a company send me a beautiful four-volume set of books in a really giant box filled with packing peanuts. (Whyyyy? Wrapping the books in cardboard and tape would have been sufficient!) They’re staticky and feel awful to the touch and get all over the place without help, and breed while they’re there.
On top of that, I have two cats. Can you say “Fucking packing peanuts all over the goddamned house for months”? I knew you could.
Zippers. Specifically, zippers that get fabric stuck in them and won’t get unstuck. I have a nice almost new down jacket that has one pocket permanently zipped half closed. Or half open, if you’re an optimist.