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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Open Thread: Out Among the Pig People

Open Thread: Out Among the Pig People

by Anne Laurie|  May 9, 20157:10 pm| 53 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, Assholes

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Via @sahilkapur, Steve King brought strong #hottake game to South Carolina http://t.co/TvaqXA9U5b pic.twitter.com/pz74KgyAfT

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) May 9, 2015

I understand there are good people in Iowa, but none of them seem to be caucusing with the GOP. Jim Newell, at Salon, made me happy by reporting that Jeb (or his handlers) decided to snoot Iowa’s much-ballyhooed August straw poll. Since Michele Bachmann’s 2011 win, after all, the straw poll had pretty much been exposed as “just a big fundraiser for the Iowa Republican Party“:

… We’re guessing that the Iowa Republican Party wasn’t receiving a lot of commitments from candidates about participating in the scam this year, because its chairman, Jeff Kaufmann, is announcing some changes. In a Politico op-ed today, Kaufmann announces that “it is time to relegate the pay-to-play nature of the Iowa Straw Poll to the dustbin of history. (We’ll leave the ‘pay to play’ politics to the Clintons.)” Heh, those Clintons are sump’m else, alright. It’s amusing to see him spin the changes as much-needed ethical reform rather than the sort of desperate move an entity makes when it has no leverage.

As to the changes: the land auction will be nixed, and candidates will receive space on the grounds free of charge, the specific sites determined by a random lottery. Candidates also won’t have to prepare their own foodstuffs anymore, and every lot will be “already fully electrified.”… And then comes the most desperate moment in this already hilariously desperate column: “Finally, for journalists worried about internet and a suitable place to file your stories: We have you covered. The site has fantastic internet, sweeping vistas of Iowa farmland and a climate-controlled area for you to file as deadlines loom.”…

“Here in Iowa,” Kaufmann pleads, “so long as a Republican candidate can afford the plane ticket to Iowa, they are welcome in Boone on August 8.” These changes will definitely cut some of the costs — indeed, it’s amazing to think that the Iowa Republican Party ever did auction off lots and require candidates to pay for their own electricity.

It’s not going to defray all the costs, though. The biggest of those would be media buys in television and radio markets surrounding the event. And candidates also have to be worried about managing expectations: while a win in the straw poll doesn’t mean anything, a loss could still be quite embarrassing. Tim Pawlenty dropped out of the race after making a full push for the 2011 straw poll and finishing third. Is this something that, say, Scott Walker or any of the other top-tier Iowa candidates want to make a big show of?…

But not to worry, GOP politicos desperate to flush some money into the manure lagoons! The newly-minted Queen of the Pig Castrators has an offer for you, per the Des Moines Register:

Joni Ernst’s design for her first big summer fundraiser almost begs for friendly competition and swagger.

Which presidential contenders will climb astride a Harley-Davidson, a hallmark of raw power and toughness, for a 39-mile ride? Who will erect the biggest tent on the Roast & Ride grounds? Will anyone demonstrate prowess at cornhole?

Ernst, the first woman to represent Iowa in Congress, has sent White House hopefuls a memo that spells out the logistics for her first Roast & Ride political fundraiser, an event that’s scheduled to take place in Iowa farm country on June 6 and will likely attract a large national press corps…

And in move that echoes a GOP tradition at the Iowa Straw Poll, there will be campaign tents.

“Each campaign team will be given (1) 10’x10′ tent for use at the event,” the memo says. “Upgrades to the standard 10’x10′ tent are available upon request, such as a larger tent, power, A/C, catering, etc.”

On Thursday, Roast & Ride organizers will begin announcing the names of presidential hopefuls who have RSVP’ed, the memo says. Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was the first to sign on…

***********
I don’t even wanna know how they’re gonna “demonstrate prowess at cornhole”…

Apart from praying for a meteor — or at least some amusing cycle-related injuries among the candidates — what’s on the agenda for the evening?

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Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    srv

    May 9, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    Obama brings violence to Florida hospitals:

    Florida Gov. Rick Scott, contending that the state will likely lose federal money it is now receiving to help hospitals, is calling on any hospital that receives taxpayer support to share profits to help each other.
    …
    The move apparently blindsided hospital executives who already are being assailed by Scott and House Republicans in an ongoing healthcare fight that has delayed approval of a new state budget…
    …
    In his letter, Scott predicted that Florida will have to prepare a new state budget without federal money that now goes to hospitals to help pay for the poor and uninsured.

  2. 2.

    debbie

    May 9, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    sweeping vistas of Iowa farmland

    Manure lagoons?

  3. 3.

    NotMax

    May 9, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Question the first: Why 39 miles? A strange number to choose. (As Iowa is the 29th state, that number would seem a more logical choice.)

    Question the second: How many will get pulled over for not having a motorcycle license?

    As for “cornhole,” cue George Takei: “Oh, my.”

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    May 9, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Could someone please reassure me that “cornhole” is a kind of sporting activity (of an ilk with, say, pitching horseshoes) rather than a sex act?

  5. 5.

    NotMax

    May 9, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    @Amir Khalid

    News there chockablock about the ambassador and his wife in the helicopter crash in Pakistan?

  6. 6.

    Misterpuff

    May 9, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    The Marketplace of Ideas is still a marketplace, any good Republican that can make a buck off of that market, will and will pity you, if you don’t.

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    May 9, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    @NotMax

    Guess I ought to provide a link to the story.

  8. 8.

    greennotGreen

    May 9, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Yes, similar to horseshoes, except a beanbag (I think) is supposed to be tossed in a hole in a board. I was familiar with the game but not the name till it was mentioned by someone who grew up on a diary farm, so it’s rural roots are apparently well established.

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    May 9, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Having fun watching the fourth double-double in a row for the 10 yr old in basketball.
    Points and rebounding, for those keeping score.

  10. 10.

    Amir Khalid

    May 9, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    @Amir Khalid:
    Ah. Wikipedia has come to the rescue. While there is indeed a sex act called “cornhole”, there is also a family-friendly lawn game.

  11. 11.

    Anne Laurie

    May 9, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I’m glad I’m not the only one! Wikipedia reassures us both that cornhole is a lawn game, like beanbag… although the term does have its own disambiguation page.

    ETA: … and you type faster than I do.

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    May 9, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    @Amir Khalid: No. It’s a sex act.

  13. 13.

    Mike in NC

    May 9, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    @srv: I think the place known as God’s Waiting Room will need every federal health care dollar it can beg for.

  14. 14.

    Corner Stone

    May 9, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Sorry, bag toss and cornhole are kind of a different activity to engage in.

  15. 15.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    May 9, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    So we’re just done with “Phrasing!”, I guess.

  16. 16.

    El Caganer

    May 9, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    I don’t usually show my prowess at cornhole until I’ve erected my tent.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    May 9, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    @Corner Stone

    Perhaps not so much to a teabagger.

    ;)

  18. 18.

    Keith G

    May 9, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Ah. Wikipedia has come to the rescue. While there is indeed a sex act called “cornhole”, there is also a family-friendly lawn game.

    In some parts, they are one in the same.

    My agenda….brushing up on my “fresh-squeezed” margarita recipe. Dee-lish.

  19. 19.

    Tree With Water

    May 9, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Obama reduced to referring to Warren as” just another politician”. The guy has got a screw loose about that very bad, horrible trade bill, and is embarrassing himself over it. Worse, he’s insulting the intelligence of the rank and file doing it.

  20. 20.

    Corner Stone

    May 9, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    @Tree With Water:

    The guy has got a screw loose about that very bad, horrible trade bill, and is embarrassing himself over it.

    That interview with Matt Bai was fucking embarrassing.
    We’re supposed to just trust you that we’re not going to export wages? Stop fucking insulting us.

  21. 21.

    Amir Khalid

    May 9, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    @NotMax:
    Not exactly. There’s really only one story to tell, and this is pretty much it. The Malaysian High Commissioner survived with injuries but his wife died, along with the ambassadors of Norway and the Philippines and the Indonesian ambassador’s wife. (Malaysia and Pakistan are both Commonwealth countries, so the Malaysian ambassador’s job title is High Commissioner.)

  22. 22.

    Roger Moore

    May 9, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    @NotMax:

    Question the first: Why 39 miles?

    It looks like it’s not chosen as a symbolic distance; it just happens to be the actual distance between two of the venues she’s chosen.

  23. 23.

    Cervantes

    May 9, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Of course.

  24. 24.

    Jacks mom

    May 9, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    @El Caganer: I know this will brand me as an unsophisticated comedic connoisseur….,, but I am laughing my ass off at that comment. And believe me I have not been laughing a lot lately. Thanks

  25. 25.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    May 9, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Obama did some badass strong-arming for the Korean trade deal a few years back. Nothing else is possible though.

  26. 26.

    Howard Beale IV

    May 9, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    @Tree With Water: Sounds like Obama is playing the “I’ll be gone, you’ll be gone” game like Clinton did, hoping the people has the attention span of a flea. In this case, he-and the rest of the neoliberal Democrats who support this abomination up for elections in 2016 best remember what Chancellor Gowron said.

  27. 27.

    Iowa Old Lady

    May 9, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    It would be much more entertaining if the sex act was what Ernst meant.

  28. 28.

    satby

    May 9, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    I’m still pimping the gofundme for this 16 year old Katrina survivor and daughter of a widowed mom: This mom would get a great Mother’s Day gift if her daughter got to go to the Genuis Olympiad.

  29. 29.

    shell

    May 9, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    Aww, I thought this thread was gonna be about bacon.

  30. 30.

    Corner Stone

    May 9, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    @shell: I like bacon.

  31. 31.

    Tree With Water

    May 9, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    @Howard Beale IV: I’m looking forward to Hillary deigning to explain where she stands on the damn thing. Obama and Warren don’t have a problem expressing themselves, but that’s not true of Hillary, is it? She’s got a big problem. Strangely enough, the fact all know with whom she stood in 2003 is irrelevant. Whether she took counsel of her presidential ambitions, or was merely bamboozled like a naif, sheds no light on her thinking about the trade bill, does it?

  32. 32.

    mclaren

    May 9, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Season 2 of Penny Dreadful just started. Demonism, hellish creatures attacking possessed people, werewolves going berserk, satanic vampirical lunacy.

    It’s remarkably reminiscent of the Republican presidential primaries.

  33. 33.

    mclaren

    May 9, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    @Tree With Water:

    Hillary will ignore the TPP and, when it gets passed and the corporate kangaroo courts start dismantling U.S. health-and-safety and minimum wage laws, Hills will affect an Aflred E. Newman-style “I-didn’t-even-know-about-it!” attitude.

    Like Big Bill ditching the Glass-Seagall Act and then acting all huffy and indignant when the U.S. economy blew up in a series of bubbles.

    Hoocoodanode?

  34. 34.

    ThresherK

    May 9, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    As to the changes: the land auction will be nixed,

    This is in Iowa. Shouldn’t they decide the winner with a game of cowpie bingo?

  35. 35.

    kindness

    May 9, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    So what has Joni Earnst passed through Congress? Anything? I don’t recall her name on anything that has passed. Beyond the fact that almost nothing has passed. That’s Republican leadership for ya.

  36. 36.

    ThresherK

    May 9, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    @Steeplejack (tablet): Swear to god, I had something for that!

  37. 37.

    RepubAnon

    May 9, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    @ThresherK: No, I think they should have the TeaBaggers help run the cornholing booth. It’s all about inclusiveness, after all…

  38. 38.

    Howard Beale IV

    May 9, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    @Tree With Water:

    Obama and Warren don’t have a problem expressing themselves, but that’s not true of Hillary, is it?

    Indeed. Bernie has already declared TPP and TTIP as evil incarnate. On this issue, Hillary has gone radio silent as if she’s been put into a Faraday cage-the question is-who else is inside the cage with her?

  39. 39.

    satby

    May 9, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    And because I love all youse guys: a special Balloon Juice free shipping promotion at my shop. Use coupon code NOSHIP as a thank you for me pestering you all about Adara’s fundraiser.

  40. 40.

    Cervantes

    May 9, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    @Howard Beale IV:

    On this issue, Hillary has gone radio silent as if she’s been put into a Faraday cage

    Pretty sure she talks about trade in her recent book, Hard Choices (in Chapter 22, for example).

  41. 41.

    Doug Decker

    May 9, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Cornhole is a very simple game. You stand at one end of the room with a bean bag in your hand. You toss the bean bag into a plywood board with a hole in the center. The goal is to throw the bean bag through the hole in the plywood.

  42. 42.

    Tree With Water

    May 9, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    @Cervantes: Pretty sure she more or less praised it, too. But again, who knows with her?

  43. 43.

    catclub

    May 10, 2015 at 12:25 am

    I heard, I think at Andrew Tobias, that TTP fixes some of the worst bits about NAFTA.

    OTOneH, that is the only place I have heard that brought up. OTOther H, if that is true, then Hillary is kind of stuck either way.

  44. 44.

    Howard Beale IV

    May 10, 2015 at 12:42 am

    @Tree With Water: Hills knows that the best thing for her is to keep her yap shut as she has no dog in this fight outside of coming up with some nonsense stream of consciousness babble.We know several senators think it’s a shit sandwich, and many Tea Party folks don’t like the idea of surrendering US sovereignty to a bunch of New Yawk attorneys working for a supranational organization called the ‘Investors Settlement Dispute Service’.

    I left a note to one of my senators asking them to visit where they were writing the TPP and the TTIP so they can see for themselves what was happening. I told them to being their aide. I also reminded the senator of what happened when Clinton signed the repeal of Glass-Stegall, Gramm-Leach-Bliley, and the CFMA over the objections of many in their party with warnings that deregulation isn’t the saviour that you think it is.

    As the late Leo Buscaglia said in many of his videos: “Those people who have lost a sense of history, are going to have to relive it themselves.”

  45. 45.

    Calouste

    May 10, 2015 at 12:44 am

    Which presidential contenders will climb astride a Harley-Davidson, a hallmark of the free market, GOP style.

    Harley Davidson only survived because they managed to convince Reagan to impose a 45% import tariff on the Japanese competition.

  46. 46.

    Howard Beale IV

    May 10, 2015 at 12:47 am

    @Calouste: Harley also had to fix their bikes, too-do you think they would have been able to ride that tarriff forever?

  47. 47.

    Howard Beale IV

    May 10, 2015 at 12:48 am

    @Cervantes: Why would I want to pay to read her tome?

  48. 48.

    Tree With Water

    May 10, 2015 at 12:51 am

    @Howard Beale IV: It’s a telling indictment of the democratic party (in general) that its rank and file have absolutely no clue what she is thinking, in spite of her being their likely presidential nominee..

    Maybe someone she can’t ignore should demand she speak candidly. Then again, Hillary may already consider herself too big to deign respond, like those Wall Street firms that are too big to fail.. After all, she supported Bush-Cheney down the line, and look where she’s at today.

  49. 49.

    VOR

    May 10, 2015 at 12:51 am

    @kindness: The shining example is Michele Bachmann. IIRC, the sum total of her legislative accomplishments after 6 years in the Minnesota Legislature and 8 years in Congress is co-authorship of a bill naming a US Post office. But she got a lot of media attention so I guess that is what matters the most.

  50. 50.

    J R in WV

    May 10, 2015 at 1:25 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    That is correct, it is bean bag tossing and the bag is filled with kernels of hard dried corn.

    I don’t know when this game came to be, and was named what it is named, but I have to not show my instinctual double-take when ever I hear it spoken aloud.

    “Let’s all go corn holin’!!”

    Doesn’t work for me.

  51. 51.

    Cervantes

    May 10, 2015 at 8:31 am

    @Howard Beale IV:

    Why would I want to pay to read her tome?

    Why read it? Well, you don’t have to, of course, but then no one else has to take seriously this kind of assertion, either:

    On this issue, Hillary has gone radio silent as if she’s been put into a Faraday cage

    And no, you don’t have to pay to read it. Excerpts are available on line, and if you can find a free public library, odds are there’s a copy there, too.

    @Tree With Water:

    Pretty sure she more or less praised it, too. But again, who knows with her?

    Who knows, you ask? Anyone who read the book, or that part of it, that’s who! Pretty obvious, I should think.

    Whereas those who haven’t read the book are certainly entitled to opine on it as you do — but could anything be more fatuous?

  52. 52.

    Tree With Water

    May 10, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    @Cervantes: Don’t hand me that, I’ve read excerpts. My point is this: no one can yet say whether Clinton will support the trade bill, or not. What the hell is that? Bill fought hard for NAFTA, the book excerpts indicate she supports TPP, and yet still she refuses to deign clarify. Why?

    She supported Bush-Cheney down the line on the Iraq War. I don’t care what what she wrote two years ago about TPP. The democratic rank and file have a right to know what she thinks now, and it would take her but a press release to explain. It’s a reasonable expectation, if only because her judgement in a matter of war and peace proved so excrable.

  53. 53.

    Cervantes

    May 10, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    @Tree With Water:

    My point is this: no one can yet say whether Clinton will support the trade bill, or not.

    And my point was that, contrary to assertion above, she has not been entirely silent on the subject. And if one wants to know what she has said, the book is one place to look.

    The democratic rank and file have a right to know what she thinks now, and it would take her but a press release to explain. It’s a reasonable expectation, if only because her judgement in a matter of war and peace proved so excrable.

    It is a reasonable expectation. I could not agree more.

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