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You are here: Home / Civil Rights / Racial Justice / This Week In Blackness / Dwayne Wade’s Toenails Cause Outrage

Dwayne Wade’s Toenails Cause Outrage

by Elon James White|  May 29, 20151:57 pm| 48 Comments

This post is in: This Week In Blackness

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We live in a stupid world. I say this because if we didn’t, people wouldn’t waste their time hating on Dwayne Wade just because he paints his toenails. This breaking news was revealed after the Miami Heat point guard posted some pictures of his recent weight loss with his beautifully painted toes on a scale. Apparently many of his 4.3 million Instagram followers judged him for it, but that’s not stopping Wade:

Back in 2011, Wade opened up to GQ about painting his toenails and talked about the first time he showed his colorful toes to LeBron James. “I was on vacation in the Bahamas with LeBron and when he saw my toes he was like, ‘Something is seriously wrong with you.’ But eventually Bron was like, ‘You know what? You’re crazy, but that’s just you.’ When I first got into the league, I tried to fit in. Now I don’t care.”

Get a hobby, people.

Team Blackness also discussed the abolishment of the death penalty in Nebraska, why Chuck Johnson is a dick, and how Iyanla is going to “fix” Baltimore.

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Reader Interactions

48Comments

  1. 1.

    Shakezula

    May 29, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    I’d extend the get a life comment to The Grio. “Anonymous asshats being anonymous asshats” isn’t a story.

  2. 2.

    RobertB

    May 29, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Dwyane Wade.

  3. 3.

    Germy Shoemangler

    May 29, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Ariana Miyamoto.

    Ariana Miyamoto (宮本 エリアナ 磨美子 Miyamoto Eriana Mamiko, born 12 May 1994 in Sasebo, Nagasaki) is a Japanese beauty pageant titleholder crowned Miss Japan 2015. She will represent her country at the Miss Universe 2015 pageant, but her victory faced criticism from critics who verbally abused her for being Afro-Asian; she is the first mixed-race woman to be Miss Japan.

    I hope she wins the whole thing.

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    May 29, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    A slight correction: it’s abolition, not abolishment.

    Shrug. They’re his toenails. If he likes them painted, that’s his business. Although perhaps he should be trying to get his shoe sponsor to make him open-toed basketball shoes.

  5. 5.

    SFAW

    May 29, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    I don’t have a problem with him painting his nails, but if you’re going to pronounce it “Dwayne,” then spell it that way. Or are all the sportscasters I hear pronouncing it rong?

    And, no, I don’t care that it’s also his father’s name.

    And, no, I don’t REALLY give two shits about anything he does, one way or the other. Unless he somehow hits a touchdown out of the park to help the Knicks win the Stanley Cup.

  6. 6.

    SFAW

    May 29, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Although perhaps he should be trying to get his shoe sponsor to make him open-toed basketball shoes.

    It’s stuff like this that make me glad you’re a commenter here.

  7. 7.

    PurpleGirl

    May 29, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    Don’t know who Dwayne Wade is; sort of don’t care but that doesn’t mean I’d want to hate on him for anything. He likes to paint his toe nails… great, have fun, use crazy colors, pattern them, whatever. Life’s too short for us to worry about such personal things.

  8. 8.

    Gin & Tonic

    May 29, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    @SFAW: As a long (long!)-suffering Knicks fan, I unfortunately think they are more likely to win a Stanley Cup than an NBA championship in my remaining lifetime.

  9. 9.

    PurpleGirl

    May 29, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    @SFAW: Seconded, ’cause that’s a great idea and comment.

  10. 10.

    scav

    May 29, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: She’s gorgeous from what I saw — and it’s highly amusing watching some freak out about toes. Masculinity is just soooo fragile, tightly confined and limiting in their world.

  11. 11.

    srv

    May 29, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    How do people expend so much energy on sports teams. What are they compensating for?

    In other news, Esquire peeps are outraged that even Shepard Fairey is outraged at Obama.

  12. 12.

    Amir Khalid

    May 29, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    @srv:
    I remember how Obama never recovered from Matt Damon’s disappointment with him.

  13. 13.

    Scott S.

    May 29, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    @srv: Republican troll says what?

  14. 14.

    shawn

    May 29, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    I honestly more annoyed that people call LeBron James “Bron.” I could care less about painted nails.

    in other news, you cant comment about people commenting about something silly and then say “get a hobby.” As i comment about people commenting about people commenting… I am like the pot on a three way call with the kettle and something else African American

  15. 15.

    jl

    May 29, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I remember that, one of Obama’s first critical tests, IIRC.

  16. 16.

    The Dangerman

    May 29, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    In a culture where people cover themselves with ink (personal tattoo count = 0 and damned well going to stay that way), any level of concern about someone painting their toenails is absurd.

  17. 17.

    SFAW

    May 29, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:
    You know, you might be right, unfortunately.

    Maybe adding Stephon Marbury to the roster will do the trick. Of course, Dolan will probably think he’s signing Steph Curry – all those blah people with their un-Murican names! – and overrule any objections Phil Jackson might have.

  18. 18.

    Bill

    May 29, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    Off topic: Various sources are reporting Hastert’s payments were to a victim of sexual abuse during his time as a teacher and coach.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the…..ed_in.html

  19. 19.

    raven

    May 29, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    @Bill: No, you are kidding. What the fuck else would it be?

  20. 20.

    Mike J

    May 29, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    @Bill:

    Asked why Hastert was making the payments, the official said it was to conceal Hastert’s past relationship with the male. “It was sex,’’ the source said. The other official confirmed that the misconduct involved sexual abuse.

    http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-hastert-misconduct-20150529-story.html

  21. 21.

    geg6

    May 29, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    This is nothing. The freakout over basketball stars bringing their adorable children to post-game interviews has been fucking hilarious. There is no media avail that imparts less information than a post-game interview, regardless of the sport. But the sports media and the male fans, who apparently have the least self-awareness and native intelligence of anyone or anything on the planet, are just outraged at the idea that the sacred space of the post-game interview has been sullied by toddlers.

  22. 22.

    Bill

    May 29, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    @raven: It could have been any number of things. Last night I read speculation that it could have been conduct while in office, or related to some shady land deals.

  23. 23.

    Shakezula

    May 29, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    @raven: We’re talking about a Republican politician and one who went to the mat for Mark Foley. The correct question is what couldn’t it be? [shudder]

  24. 24.

    Germy Shoemangler

    May 29, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    @geg6: I have met a few sportswriters, and they take themselves very seriously. I saw the one on tv complaining about the post-game toddler: “We have deadlines!”

    Hunter Thompson:

    Even a sports editor, for instance, might notice something wrong with a lead that said: “The precision-jack-hammer attack of the Miami Dolphins stomped the balls off the Washington Redskins today by stomping and hammering with one precise jack-thrust after another up the middle, mixed with pinpoint-precision passes into the flat and numerous hammer-jack stomps around both ends….”

    Right. And there was the genius of Grantland Rice. He carried a pocket thesaurus, so that “The thundering hoofbeats of the Four Horsemen” never echoed more than once in the same paragraph, and the “Granite-grey sky” in his lead was a “cold dark dusk” in the last lonely line of his heart-rending, nerve-ripping stories….

  25. 25.

    srv

    May 29, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    Maybe this is why Obama still hasn’t pardoned Edwin Edwards.

  26. 26.

    MomSense

    May 29, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    @geg6:

    I loved that little girl. I could watch her all day–and I loved the way Dad just rolled with it no matter what she said or did.

  27. 27.

    KG

    May 29, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    @geg6: I’m a guy and a sports fan, and I typically hate the post game pressers. Every once in a while there will be something interesting, which they can show later on sportscenter… but usually they’re up there spewing platitudes they’ve been practicing since the first time they saw Bull Durham during their summer vacation after fifth grade.

  28. 28.

    ET

    May 29, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    Who f**k cares? Honestly, the picayune things people whinge about always depresses me.

  29. 29.

    geg6

    May 29, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    @KG:

    I’m a sports fan, too (but not a male). And I’ve watched a lot of post-game pressers, too. Biggest waste of time ever. The idea that anyone takes them seriously is such a joke. Which, it seems to me, is the exact point the athletes are making and that is what has these assholes so pissed off.

  30. 30.

    MomSense

    May 29, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    Elon is losing it between promo cat and Robin laughing. Too funny.

  31. 31.

    raven

    May 29, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Former Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert allegedly paid hush money to cover up sexual misconduct with a male dating to his time as a coach and teacher in Yorkville, according to a source familiar with the investigation.

    Hastert, 73, of Plano, was indicted Thursday on allegations he paid hush money to cover up misconduct against an unnamed individual referred to in court papers only as “Individual A.” The misconduct wasn’t specified in the indictment, only that it happened years ago and that the individual had known Hastert for most of the individual’s life.

    http://chicago.suntimes.com/politics/7/71/646669/source-ex-house-speaker-dennis-hastert-allegedly-paid-hide-sexual-misconduct

    this ain’t rocket science boys and girls

  32. 32.

    John Revolta

    May 29, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Jeez, I hate those post-game interviews too. I just sit there in agony, wishing there was some way to make them stop. Often I want to scream, “Untie me, you fiends!! Take these lid-locks off my eyes and make it stop!!”

    But on and on it goes. Oy.

  33. 33.

    butler

    May 29, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    This is a story? Shaq painted his toenails for his entire career.

  34. 34.

    raven

    May 29, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    @butler: Now if Shaq painted D’Wades. . . . !

  35. 35.

    JCJ

    May 29, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    @geg6:

    Riley Curry is completely adorable. Even my daughter who doesn’t particularly like small children is smitten with her. I hope she gets her own endorsement deal.

  36. 36.

    Germy Shoemangler

    May 29, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Listening to “You Couldn’t Be Cuter”

    You couldn’t be cuter
    Plus that
    You couldn’t be smarter
    Plus that
    Intelligent face
    You have a disgraceful charm for me

    You couldn’t be keener
    You look so fresh from the cleaner
    You are the little grand slam
    I’ll take to my family

    My ma will show you an album of me that’ll bore you to tears
    And you’ll attract all the relatives we have dodged for years and years

    And what will they tell me?
    Exactly, what will they tell me
    They’ll say you couldn’t be nicer
    Couldn’t be sweeter
    Couldn’t be better
    Couldn’t be smoother
    Couldn’t be cuter, baby, than you are

    – Jerome Kern & Dorothy Fields

    (dedicated to D. Hastert)

  37. 37.

    Steeplejack

    May 29, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    @shawn:

    I am like the pot on a three way call with the kettle and something else African American.

    LOL.

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    May 29, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    @geg6:

    Which, it seems to me, is the exact point the athletes are making and that is what has these assholes so pissed off.

    This right here. I remember them being all pissy about Richard Sherman and whatshisname’s skit about endorsements, too. The players are tired of pretending that the post game pressers are life and death, and I can’t blame them.

  39. 39.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    May 29, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    OT: Chrome with AdblockPlus does not seem to like this post at all (hangs without completing). It seems to be something to do with the audio player. I added “stitcher.com” to ABP’s blacklist and the page works fine again (without the audio player).

    Is it just me?

    Thanks.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  40. 40.

    Dlew

    May 29, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    @SFAW: Hey, look out, I think some kids are on your lawn.

  41. 41.

    Gin & Tonic

    May 29, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    @John Revolta: Your TV doesn’t have an “off” button?

  42. 42.

    Germy Shoemangler

    May 29, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: No, it’s not just you. I’ve gotten error messages about stitcher as well.

  43. 43.

    Steeplejack

    May 29, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Does your snarkmeter have an “on” button? You might want to check it.

  44. 44.

    shawn

    May 29, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    @John Revolta: I’ll sell you way to make them stop for the tidy sum of….. ONE MILLION DOLLARS

  45. 45.

    Origuy

    May 29, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    A commenter on Deadspin said that in those post-game pressers the reporters are just looking for some quotes to fill in the blanks in the stories they’ve already written. They don’t want real news; that would force them to rewrite their copy.

  46. 46.

    SFAW

    May 29, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    @Dlew:

    Hey, look out, I think some kids are on your lawn.

    What?!?!?!?! Where? (Sound of footsteps running to window.)

    “Hey you little bastards! Get offa John McCain’s lawn!!!1!!2!”

    OK, I’m back. Thanks for the tip.

  47. 47.

    SFAW

    May 29, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    @Origuy:

    Kinda like a paying version of Mad Libs. (Although, with the New World Order, Libs aren’t allowed to get mad, because reasons and freedumb.)

  48. 48.

    RaflW

    May 30, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    I used to paint my toenails on summer vacation. I can remember stopping into our local upscale grocery after, wearing sandals, and you’d be amazed how many women would complement me on my electric blue, or vibrant orange, or whatever color toes. If I were straight, I’d do it for the possible MILF pickups.

    It’s a pain in the @ss to keep ’em looking good, so it was always a once-a-year thing, and eventually even that was more than I could bother. But fun while it lasted.

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