Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself. We’re allowed to grow past that.

“They not like us!” (that’s for sure!)

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

He really is that stupid.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

I was promised a recession.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

This blog will pay for itself.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Cruz-ifiction / Open Thread: Deflated Sense Of Humor

Open Thread: Deflated Sense Of Humor

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Ted Cruz, professional comedian:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) poked fun at Hillary Clinton’s use of private email by suggesting she was responsible for the New England Patriots’ under-inflated footballs.

“Let me start by saying — Tom Brady was framed,” the presidential candidate said during a weekend stop in Massachusetts. “Now I’m not willing to pander on much, but on that … Tom Brady was framed.”

“And I will say this: I have it on good authority that Hillary Clinton did it. Why do you think she deleted her emails?” Cruz joked.

What’s even funnier is Clinton leads the guy by 10-15 points in the polls, but hey, deflated balls!

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

143Comments

  2. 2.

    Shakezula

    “Hur dur hur, Hitlery deflates lots of balls, nowhutimean??”

    Expect the slobbering hordes to pass this joke around like a goat at a gathering of Mickey Kaus impersonators.

  4. 4.

    geg6

    They are so afraid of her. I’m no Hillbot, but the fact that they are so afraid of her and her skeery ball deflating skills makes me like her more.

  5. 5.

    MomSense

    Was this a joke? It doesn’t even make sense and I’m a Pats fan.

    Putting aside the suckitude of the policies, are any of these candidates even tolerable let alone likeable?

    If I were hiring a sales team for a product or company I wouldn’t hire any of these candidates to represent my brand.

  6. 6.

    Amir Khalid

    As absurd and unbelievable as the story is, I’m sure there are people who will cite it in the months to come as another example of what a monster HRC is.

  7. 7.

    Belafon

    @geg6: One of the reasons I would like to see her as the Democratic nominee is to hear the Republican say “A man would do it like this.”

  13. 13.

    cmorenc

    @Zandar:

    What’s even funnier is Clinton leads the guy by 10-15 points in the polls, but hey, deflated balls!

    What’s not-so-funny is why Cruz can attract even 10 or 15% total in a poll, let alone come close enough for it to be the differential vs any sane, responsible candidate.

  14. 14.

    boatboy_srq

    Wait a second: we have a Texan Teahadi rooting for the New England Patriots? Doesn’t that qualify as treason below the Mason-Dixon?

  15. 15.

    scav

    Yes dear, we all can see that high school was your glory years and the locker room your stage of dreams.

  17. 17.

    Keith P.

    “I just heard that Milli Vanilli was arrested for impersonating a McNugget.”

  18. 18.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    What’s even funnier is Clinton leads the guy by 10-15 points in the polls, but hey, deflated balls!

    Not funny, should be 100 to 0 percent. In a sane and decent world, Cruz should not have one single vote.

  19. 19.

    cahuenga

    @geg6:

    Ugh. Hil just fills me with the dread of eight more years of of a slowly spiraling status quo.

  20. 20.

    kindness

    Seems this needs the traditional Wonkette response of:

    So you know who else has deflated balls?

    @cahuenga: As opposed to another 8 years of ANY Republican clusterfuck? Thanks but I’ll take Hillary in that case and like it.

  23. 23.

    jonas

    @Matt McIrvin: Marshall notes that the CNN poll tends to underweight Democrats, so the move seems to be among those probably not terribly inclined to support her anyway.

  24. 24.

    the Conster

    @kindness:

    I’m no Hillary fan, at all, but Mr. Conster and I both agreed that this next election will involve ZERO qualms about voting (D).

  28. 28.

    MattF

    “Hey, I’m only pandering a little bit, ha ha ha.” Senator Cruz is showing some uncomfortable self-awareness. And he thinks it’s funny. Ha ha.

  30. 30.

    Valdivia

    @Omnes Omnibus: He has a sugar daddy, thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room and once closed the government for kicks? Wouldn’t that endear him to you as a candidate?
    I kid, I kid.

    I think according to the GOP those are excellent qualifications. Which I think is the whole problem, there is absolutely no standards required anymore to be a presidential candidate.

  31. 31.

    Paul in KY

    @cahuenga: As opposed to complete ruination/damnation that we would get from any Repub?

    Edit: See Kindness was on top of it.

  32. 32.

    Knowbody

    Days without Inane Hillary Clinton Post at Balloon Juice sign reset to zero.

    Previous number: 3.

  35. 35.

    srv

    Washington (CNN)The latest CNN/ORC Poll found warning signs for former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, but for his brother, former President George W. Bush, the poll reveals some happier news: For the first time in a decade, more Americans say they like him than dislike him.

    According to the poll, 52% of adults had a favorable impression of George W. Bush, 43% unfavorable.

    And outpolls Obama elsewhere. The pendulum of history swings.

  38. 38.

    The Other Bob

    Am I the only one here who thinks HRC could totally blow the general election? I think liberals are way too cocky and HRC is really a shitty campaigner.

  39. 39.

    rikyrah

    THEY ARE A SCAM AND A HUSTLE

    …………………….

    How the Red Cross Raised Half a Billion Dollars for Haiti ­and Built Six Homes

    Even as the group has publicly celebrated its work, insider accounts detail a string of failures
    NPR June 3, 2015

    THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF CAMPECHE sprawls up a steep hillside in Haiti’s capital city, Port-au-Prince. Goats rustle in trash that goes forever uncollected. Children kick a deflated volleyball in a dusty lot below a wall with a hand-painted logo of the American Red Cross.

    In late 2011, the Red Cross launched a multimillion-dollar project to transform the desperately poor area, which was hit hard by the earthquake that struck Haiti the year before. The main focus of the project — called LAMIKA, an acronym in Creole for “A Better Life in My Neighborhood” — was building hundreds of permanent homes.

    Today, not one home has been built in Campeche. Many residents live in shacks made of rusty sheet metal, without access to drinkable water, electricity or basic sanitation. When it rains, their homes flood and residents bail out mud and water.

    The group has publicly celebrated its work. But in fact, the Red Cross has repeatedly failed on the ground in Haiti. Confidential memos, emails from worried top officers, and accounts of a dozen frustrated and disappointed insiders show the charity has broken promises, squandered donations, and made dubious claims of success.

    The Red Cross says it has provided homes to more than 130,000 people. But the actual number of permanent homes the group has built in all of Haiti: six.

    https://www.propublica.org/article/how-the-red-cross-raised-half-a-billion-dollars-for-haiti-and-built-6-homes?src=longreads&utm_content=buffer34f9a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

  41. 41.

    Amir Khalid

    @Valdivia:
    From what I know, Ted Cruz likes being an asshole to the Republican Senate caucus. After he crashes out of the 2016 presidential race (and he will, I’m all but sure of it) I don’t foresee him fitting right back in there.

  42. 42.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I caught Ted’s JFK impersonation and came to the conclusion that he’s a weird mofo. Not that he isn’t a scary lizard-brained zealot with an apocalyptic agenda, but some part of him is simply feeding off the attention, the laughter and applause. Kinda like Brian Williams or a pre-9/11 John McCain.

  46. 46.

    japa21

    @The Other Bob: Anybody could blow the general election. And Hillary is not the greatest campaigner in the world, but I am seeing a difference between Hil2008 and Hil2016 for the positive.

  47. 47.

    Belafon

    @The Other Bob: There’s an orange website where a lot of people think that way. You’re also not alone here.

    But there are differences between 2008 and now. For one, Penn is not running the campaign. Two, Hillary can learn which is why she’s talking to more people now.

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @japa21: @The Other Bob: Anybody could blow the general election

    Yup. Including the voters, the bastards. I believe a combination of ISIS and Ebola got the GOP at least two Senate seats in the last go-round (Colorado, North Carolina and damn near New Hampshire). As the poll posted indicates, and it’s not the first one I’ve seen showing Dumbya in positive territory, the American people have short memories and often lack perspective.

    HRC could indeed blow the election. So we should put our faith in….?

  51. 51.

    Brachiator

    @Shakezula:

    “Hur dur hur, Hitlery deflates lots of balls, nowhutimean??”

    Wouldn’t it be more about busting balls, rather than deflating them? If you got inflated balls, and you ain’t playing football, you got a problem.

    @The Other Bob:

    Am I the only one here who thinks HRC could totally blow the general election?

    Blow? I see what you did, there.

    I liked the recent New Yorker cover, showing Hilllary outside a locker room door, looking on while the various GOP candidates are in various stages of preening themselves.

    As it is, Ulriksen presents seven contenders with seven varieties of preening. Maybe it’s hard to tell a vision for America from a delusion of grandeur, at least until the debates and primaries get under way. Until then, Marco Rubio’s got his phone, Rand Paul his comb, and Huckabee his Bible. Ted Cruz’s eyes flit between his copy of the Constitution and his mirror, while Scott Walker seems on the lookout for unionized gym attendants. Bush is wearing his dynasty-logo boxers and Chris Christie his put-me-in-now pout.

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/amy-davidson/cover-story-2015-06-01

    This cover nicely inverts the sexism, depicting the men as airheads preparing themselves for the political beauty contest of the primaries. Hillary is a better woman than any of them will ever be.

  53. 53.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    THEY ARE A SCAM AND A HUSTLE

    @rikyrah: What they did here in SoCal after the 2007 Cedar fires should have made them a nationwide laughingstock and put them out of business for good.

    Instead, the media flat-out buried the story and they’re still stealing to this day.

  54. 54.

    Eric U.

    @lamh36: everyone knows that SYG is not a valid defense if you miss

    I really wish there was a way to give blood other than the Red Cross. I’ve become convinced that it’s part of the republican grift machine. Not only that, but they always treat me like crap when I donate

  55. 55.

    Brachiator

    I didn’t realize that Alaska was dealing with a potential government shutdown.

    Ferry boats will stop running. The watchdog agency that fines politicians for violating campaign finance rules will close. People who break hunting and fishing laws will have a better chance of getting away with the crimes.

    That’s a sample of what the looming Alaska government shutdown would mean for the state, according to department heads. All told, more than 10,000 state employees will be laid off if the Legislature does not adopt a fully funded spending plan for the budget year that begins July 1, Gov. Bill Walker said Monday.

    Not all state departments will slash staff and services. Public Safety, including Alaska State Troopers, and Corrections, which runs Alaska prisons, will operate as normal. The Permanent Fund Division will continue processing dividends.

    In other departments, entire offices will be laid off, promising a ripple effect of reduced services.

    Sarah Palin can see chaos from her window.

    http://www.ktuu.com/news/news/what-a-government-shutdown-would-mean-for-alaska/33345270

  56. 56.

    Valdivia

    @Amir Khalid: yes I am sure his colleagues in the Senate loathe him. I am also sure he will use the hatred of the rest of his colleagues to prove he is the only real conservative™ standing up to the RINOs

  57. 57.

    Iowa Old Lady

    @Brachiator: I went to the link. That’s an impressive list of potentially shut down services. What’s going on in Alaska? I thought they were awash in oil money.

  58. 58.

    Iowa Old Lady

    @Valdivia: He strikes me as a guy who always sees himself as worth more than the situation he’s currently in. So after he’s not elected president, where does he go? Governor of TX maybe?

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    @rikyrah:

    The Red Cross says it has provided homes to more than 130,000 people. But the actual number of permanent homes the group has built in all of Haiti: six.

    This is insane. I think I stopped giving to the Red Cross years ago, but this puts them on my official “they need to be stopped” list.

  61. 61.

    Brachiator

    @Iowa Old Lady: Budget showdown. Typical politics.

    Legislators passed a budget with more than $5 billion in spending but provided $3 billion less than was needed to fund the operations in that budget.

    Walker said he’s been trying to stay out of the internal legislative process of a different branch of government but no longer can.

    “Their lack of providing a funded budget is now significantly affecting our administration,” Walker said at a press conference in Anchorage.

    He rejected claims from legislators that layoff or shutdown deadlines were fabrications to pressure lawmakers.

    “It’s not artificial in any way,” he said. Walker said the state was both contractually and morally bound to warn employees it might not be able to pay them.

    On July 1, when the fiscal year begins, the state won’t have adequate money for its operations.

    http://www.adn.com/article/20150601/gov-walker-offers-mediation-lawmakers-prepares-alaska-government-shutdown

  62. 62.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Iowa Old Lady: I remember reading that the story in TX was that he never expected to beat the establishment candidate (Dewhurst?) in the primary for Senate, but was building up his name and fundraising lists to run for governor.

  63. 63.

    sparrow

    @The Other Bob: I totally think she will blow it. I really don’t know what to do… I’m mainly praying for a PBO2 to show up, but that seems unlikely at this stage… I may vote for Bernie in the primary. Weirdly, some of my republican-light/apathetic friends like him, while they loath Hillary with the heat of a thousand suns. I don’t know if that means they would vote for him, but if the republican is particularly heinous, they might stay home. Overall I am not nearly as optimistic as most people around here… I’m pretty sure that it will be a big clusterfuck though.

  64. 64.

    Amir Khalid

    @Iowa Old Lady:

    What’s going on in Alaska? I thought they were awash in oil money.

    The way oil prices have been lately, not so much. Malaysia, an oil exporting country, has been having the same problem.

  66. 66.

    MomSense

    @The Other Bob:

    You are not alone, but expression of doubts about her is not well received so I mostly don’t say anything. I’m not crazy about any of the candidates so I’ll hope for someone better and eventually figure out how I will caucus (if I haven’t moved by then).

  68. 68.

    Brachiator

    @Amir Khalid: Yeah, the Alaska Permanent Fund is starting to look a lot less permanent.

    Fiscal year 2015 numbers have declined substantially from fiscal year 2014.

    Total revenues for March were $266.4 million, down 10 percent from $296 million in March 2014. For the nine months from July 1, 2014, through March 31, 2015, total revenues came to $2.3 billion, a 55 percent drop from $5.1 billion in the nine-month period ending March 31, 2014.

    Overall, APFC is $4.6 billion shy of the 2014 fiscal year total revenue of $6.96 billion.

    Statutory net income dropped as well.

    For March, statutory net income was $372 million, down 54 percent from $806 million in March 2014.

    But even taking this into consideration, Alaska’s budget is a mess.

  69. 69.

    Iowa Old Lady

    IMHO, expecting to be crazy about any of the candidates is unrealistic. It hasn’t happened often in my long voting history. I pick the person with better policies (at the national level, always a D) and hope they’ll be competent and reasonably honest.

    Better than the other guy. That’s my standard.

  73. 73.

    Tree With Water

    Cruz’s “deflated e-mails” reference is right up there in George Castanza “jerk store” territory.

  74. 74.

    askew

    @Matt McIrvin:

    The stuff about her email secrecy and potential conflicts of interest between State Dept and Clinton Foundation are hurting her because they confirm what a lot of voters don’t like about her – she’s secretive, isn’t trustworthy and has ethical issues. Issues like Benghazi BS won’t impact her because voters view her as competent and a strong leader.

  76. 76.

    TriassicSands

    What’s even funnier is Clinton leads the guy by 10-15 points in the polls, but hey, deflated balls!

    That’s only temporary. As soon as the American people realize that Cruz is a completely insane, narcissistic sociopath (aka a real Modern Republican) they will flock to him like he is the returning Messiah himself. Only Ben Carson poses a real threat to Cruz. The voters will have to decide which of the two is the dumber, more insane smart person. Or is it the smarter, more insane dumb person? The only solution may be a Cruz-Carson or Carson-Cruz ticket — the most attractive Republican pairing since Ted Bundy-Charlie Manson (or was is Charlie Manson-Ted Bundy?). One thing is for sure, the Cruz-Carson pairing will have a much higher death toll than the Bundy-Manson combo. Considering unnecessary wars, people thrown off health care and Food Stamps, and a descent into full-blown 3rd World Country status for the US under their inspired Biblical leadership, Cruz-Carson might even top Bush-Cheney.

  77. 77.

    Germy Shoemangler

    headline:

    Guardian UK: Famous Japanese hot spring closed after string of orgies revealed – Hot spring Fudo no Yu, near Tokyo, was being used by exhibitionists, according to authorities who have now closed it down

  78. 78.

    askew

    Cruz isn’t the only one making stupid jokes:

    Hillary jokes: My server would have stopped White House hackers

    Because concerns about security and her setting up a private serve to circumvent FOIA requests/transparency are hysterical.

  79. 79.

    MomSense

    @raven:

    Can you imagine how that would actually happen? That is a be careful what you wish for you just might get it situation right there.

  80. 80.

    Amir Khalid

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    Guardian UK: Famous Japanese hot spring closed after string of orgies revealed – Hot spring Fudo no Yu, near Tokyo, was being used by exhibitionists, according to authorities who have now closed it down

    Spoilsports.

  82. 82.

    Mike in NC

    Ted Cruz is the proud owner of a pair of balls the size of raisins. He’s as appealing a candidate as Freddy Krueger.

  86. 86.

    rikyrah

    I’d be in jail for beating his ass for calling the cops on me

    …………………

    MOM ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY LOCKING SON OUT OF HOME BECAUSE HE STAYED OUT PAST CURFEW
    June 3, 2015

    How far is too far when it comes to disciplining children?

    Last month, Antonia Antoinette Folsom, 34, was arrested after being accused of forcing her 13-year-old son to sleep outside of her Augusta, Georgia home on a concrete patio. According to WJBF, the mother of four refused to let the teen into her home on the night of Monday, May 27 because he repeatedly stayed out past curfew. Officers responded to the home around 1:30 p.m. the following Tuesday after the boy called and told them that he had been locked out of the home since 9:15 p.m. that Monday.

    The Richmond County Sheriff’s Office says that the teen’s curfew was 9:00 p.m. “but he did not come home on time. When he arrived home the doors were locked and his mother, the subject, would not allow him into the residence even after he knocked multiple times. She came to the door and told him that she was tired of him coming home late and for him to find somewhere else to go. She kept all of the doors as well as windows locked so that he could not get in the residence.”

    At some point Monday night, police say that the teen’s older brother snuck outside and “gave him a pillow and blanket without his mother’s permission.” He claims that he “continued to knock on the door with no response and was forced to sleep on the concrete patio in the back yard.”

    When deputies arrived at the home Tuesday, the boy’s older brother told them that the teen “had come home late and was locked out of the residence for breaking curfew, and that the subject would not let him in even after he knocked on the door numerous times and spoke to her briefly. He also added that the victim told his mother that he was having trouble breathing and she told him ‘Now you know how I feel’ and refused to allow him in.” Folsom returned from work Tuesday at 3:15 p.m. and told investigators that she had not seen or heard from her son since Monday night. She reportedly told police that she had instructed her son to come inside of the house around 11 p.m., but he ignored her and left.

    http://madamenoire.com/537640/locking-son-out-of-home/

  87. 87.

    piratedan

    I’ll vote for Bernie over Hillary, but if Bernie doesn’t end up being the nominee, then I’ll pull the lever, mark the spot for whoever comes out of the D primary process. I’ve seen the poo poo platter of R options and frankly they scare the ever-lovvin crap out of me, especially the sneaky evil sorts like Kasich, who talks and looks sane but is just as beholden to the same sociopathic bastards that run the GOP agenda these days.

  88. 88.

    MomSense

    @aimai:

    Don’t be. If that was the joke Cruz was trying to tell–he failed at it. That would have been a much easier joke to tell.

  89. 89.

    Brachiator

    @askew:

    they confirm what a lot of voters don’t like about her – she’s secretive, isn’t trustworthy and has ethical issues. Issues like Benghazi BS won’t impact her because voters view her as competent and a strong leader.

    Wait, isn’t that Dick Nixon?

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    Famous Japanese hot spring closed after string of orgies revealed

    What else would you ever want to use a hot spring for?

    @TriassicSands:

    That’s only temporary. As soon as the American people realize that Cruz is a completely insane, narcissistic sociopath (aka a real Modern Republican) they will flock to him like he is the returning Messiah himself.

    If that really happened it would confirm the Apocalypse.

  90. 90.

    Brachiator

    @Punchy: Now we know what’s the matter with Kansas.

    But Republicans dominating the Legislature remain deeply split over how — or even whether — to raise taxes to offset a shortfall largely created by tax cuts in 2012.

    Evidently, they expect some magical wizard to come along and rescue them.

  93. 93.

    Cacti

    The best unintentional comedy I’ve seen today was Rick Santorum telling Pope Francis (MS in chemistry) to “leave science to the scientists”.

  94. 94.

    catclub

    1. Bernie Sanders has higher poll numbers than ANY GOP candidate.

    2. I am reading The Hunting of the President, it starts in 1989 when Lee Atwater identifies Clinton as a likely 1992 top Democratic candidate. If I were his Democratic equivalent today, I do not even know which one I would want to hamstring.

  95. 95.

    Tree With Water

    @MomSense: Or Cruz could have genuinely stirred the pot with something recklessly vicious, inflammatory, and in keeping with his utter lack of character. Such as, “The examination of Clinton’s secret e-mails makes sense of the last message sent Benghazi that read, “Are you certain you’re under attack by Muslim terrorists?”. Since Mr. Texas had obviously given his lame remark at least some thought, I only wonder why he didn’t.

  96. 96.

    jl

    The only electorally serious GOP candidate close to Clinton is Walker of WI in most polling.

    And he is going so far to the right, so blatantly hard to see how he can triangulate later, and doing so with plenty of sound bites. Last couple of days he said women going to pregnancy clinics should get ultrasounds because it is such a cool technology, wowiezowie! Then he criticized media for misquoting him and then repeated the exact same thing.

    Now I see he thinks that rape victims only worry about the pregnancy in the first couple of months, then the whole downer mood kind of wears off.

    And the 20 week abortion ban bill he is going to sign (or just signed?) does not really have an exception for medical emergencies. It has some language about medical emergencies that is tricky, and puts getting the fetus to birth the doc’s highest priority, even with a medical emergency.

    I don’t think the polling means much when some of the candidates and their policy positions are not well known to the public.

  97. 97.

    Amir Khalid

    @Cacti:
    I checked Pope Francis’ Wikipedia entry:

    He attended the technical secondary school Escuela Nacional de Educación Técnica N° 27 Hipólito Yrigoyen,named after a past President of Argentina, and graduated with a chemical technician’s diploma.

    No mention of a masters degree in chemistry.

  99. 99.

    brantl

    @lamh36: I can’t wait for the case where two trigger-happy assholes draw down on each other, wound each other, file criminal complaints on each other, and they both site Stand Your Ground. I hope that their heads explode, when they realize what’s happened, and what the other sonofabitch got off on. Then they will probably shoot each other again, on the courthouse steps. Rinse, repeat……

  101. 101.

    jl

    @Amir Khalid: Wikipedia article might be incomplete.

    From biography in Catholic Herald:

    Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio: a profile
    Catholic Herald,
    ” He studied and received a master’s degree in chemistry at the University of Buenos Aires, but later decided to become a Jesuit priest and studied at the Jesuit seminary of Villa Devoto. ”

    http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2013/03/13/cardinal-bergoglio-profile/

    I read other places he studied philosophy and psych as an undergraduate, and taught it later. I don’t see that in the wiki article either.

    Edit: and a technical high school education in many countries, especially with European educational systems, is quite a bit more than a US HS degree.

  105. 105.

    Tree With Water

    @brantl: That’s what I find so surreal about the idiot states and their irresponsible gun laws. More and more shootings and murders will be their lot in life, until there comes a time when the sane among them will realize they’ve enacted some very stupid laws, and finally repeal them.

  107. 107.

    Elizabelle

    Here’s what gives me a deflated sense of humor, and I think its implications are worth their own thread.

    NY Times today: Last Task After Layoff at Disney: Train Foreign Replacements

    … [A]bout 250 Disney employees were told in late October that they would be laid off. Many of their jobs were transferred to immigrants on temporary visas for highly skilled technical workers, who were brought in by an outsourcing firm based in India. Over the next three months, some Disney employees were required to train their replacements to do the jobs they had lost.

    “I just couldn’t believe they could fly people in to sit at our desks and take over our jobs exactly,” said one former worker, an American in his 40s who remains unemployed since his last day at Disney on Jan. 30. “It was so humiliating to train somebody else to take over your job. I still can’t grasp it.”

    The layoffs at Disney and at other companies, including the Southern California Edison power utility, are raising new questions about how businesses and outsourcing companies are using the temporary visas, known as H-1B, to place immigrants in technology jobs in the United States. These visas are at the center of a fierce debate in Congress over whether they complement American workers or displace them.

    …. Many American companies use H-1B visas to bring in small numbers of foreigners for openings demanding specialized skills, according to official reports. But for years most top recipients of the visas have been outsourcing or consulting firms based in India, or their American subsidiaries, which import workers for large contracts to take over entire in-house technology units — and to cut costs. The immigrants are employees of the outsourcing companies.

    In 2013, those firms — including Infosys, Tata Consultancy Services and HCL America, the company hired by Disney — were six of the top 10 companies granted H-1Bs, with each one receiving more than one thousand visas.

    Regulated immigration strengthens our country. This practice, though, is ridiculous. For all but a very small percentage of highly skilled immigrants, we could find those workers in America. I don’t believe in the “skills shortage” — it’s a compensation shortage, and disloyalty by employers.

    Just don’t want to pay the going rate.

  108. 108.

    BR

    @catclub:

    2. I am reading The Hunting of the President, it starts in 1989 when Lee Atwater identifies Clinton as a likely 1992 top Democratic candidate. If I were his Democratic equivalent today, I do not even know which one I would want to hamstring.

    The most dangerous one, despite his ridiculously shallow thinking and out there ideas, is Rand Paul. In a conventional election with a billion dollars on each side, the electorate is going to be very polarized. But libertarian leaning states like Colorado and New Hampshire are also the tipping point states more than we’d like them to be, and they might tip towards Paul vs. Clinton.

  109. 109.

    trollhattan

    @raven:

    Senator Sylvia Allen Suggests Debate: Mandatory Church Attendance On Sundays

    The hell, you say. Instead of pondering how a barking maroon like her gets elected (i.e., It’s Arizona, Jake) I’ll instead invite y’all to my church, if desert push comes to desert shove. And no expensive training courses like $cientoIogy, either, your offering (collected upon entry) can be either beer or BBQ–your choice. Because that’s how we roll at the Tabernacle of the Most Holy Saab Sedan.

    Now then, the Arizona wackaloon was somehow addressing the topic of guns with her mandatory church idea while at the same time Texas is about to make guns legal on their college campuses, despite the direct opposition of their head, who is an Afghanistan combat vet.

    Arizona and Texas are hereby invited to go do unspeakable things to themselves.and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

  110. 110.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Kay: One of the things I noticed about Hillary Clinton even back in 2008 is that you’d greatly underestimate the level of support for her by looking at stuff people say on the Internet. Both the Internet left and the Internet right have a lot of vocal opposition for her, and her supporters seem to be quieter online.

    Lately I’ve been wondering how much of that is just explained by gender. The political Internet is relatively male.

  113. 113.

    aimai

    @BR: No. He won’t even make it past the primary. He’s absolutely no threat at all. Besides, even if he did, like Barry Goldwater he’d have some kind of public meltdown. Far from posing a real threat to HRC he is going to expose himself for the kind of loon that middle of the road republicans can’t vote for once they are faced with it.

  114. 114.

    Cacti

    @Matt McIrvin:

    Lately I’ve been wondering how much of that is just explained by gender. The political Internet is relatively male.

    The political blogosphere is representative of nothing but the political blogosphere.

    For instance, over at Democratic Underground, which has a much bigger following than BJ, their online poll of members had Bernie Sanders leading Hillary 90-10.

  115. 115.

    jl

    @trollhattan: If the mandatory church thing produces a beer-n-BBQ church, that would be a real contribution to American culture.

    But, which BBQ? That debate could lead to devastating religious strife. So,maybe not, but I am willing to risk it, as long as the kerfluffle is a thousand miles away from me.

  116. 116.

    Kay

    @Matt McIrvin:

    I jjust thought it was interesting. I agree that “the internet” probably undercounts her support.

    I was going to call the difference re: Rand Paul where she dips w/ men “the dudebro factor” but it probably needs further study :)

    Also? Sensibly and rationally, women hate Chris Christie in that poll.

  117. 117.

    Tree With Water

    @Matt McIrvin: I have to take issue with that. My recollection is that Hillary had ample support throughout greater democratic blogdom in 2008. I say that as one who opposed her nomination that year, and often posted expressions to that effect on various blogs, expressions that with rude consistency were contradicted in rebuttal by swarms of her supporters- every time.

  118. 118.

    trollhattan

    @jl:
    Modeling it a bit after the Unitarians, we’ll have but one guideline, taken from some holy book or other: “Verily, if It be kissed by fire and smoke, it be barbeque. Selah.”

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I think all these many years in I’m down to about Synod 9^4.5. But it lives, it lives!

  119. 119.

    Hungry Joe

    @aimai: Your line about Rand Paul — “Far from posing a real threat to HRC he is going to expose himself for the kind of loon that middle of the road republicans can’t vote for once they are faced with it” — rings true, all right. But for which GOP candidate DOESN’T it ring true? They’re all loons, every man jack of them. And Carly, too.

    Walker and Rubio rank on the lower end of the loon continuum, but they’re full-on weaselly dopes, and that will count for something. Every time I think about how HRC could blow it, I tell myself that one of these guys will be busy blowing it even worse. I’m even starting to believe that My Man Bernie, the Socialist, could win, were he somehow to snag the nomination.

  120. 120.

    Valdivia

    @Iowa Old Lady: Yes, governor sounds like something he would want given how spectacularly he’s going to crash running for president. Then again I think a lot of these guys will make a career of running for president every 4 years. Though one does not preclude the other necessarily.

  121. 121.

    aimai

    @Hungry Joe: Well–its not that I think any of the Republicans are not loons, but their crazy is absolutely in line with the majority of hard right religious voters: creationism, fixation on abortion, overt hatred of the poor and minorities, huge chip on shoulder when it comes to the educated “elites,” climate denialism, warmongering. So those guys can’t appeal to middle of the road republicans who are sick of the crazy. Those people are going to vote for HRC or the Democrat, probably. Those are also mountain west types.

    Rand has not gone over well with evangelicals or war mongers (at the moment) because he’s running against the security state and more invasions. But when he lets the mask slip, if he gets that far in the election cycle, he’s going to go full bore militarist and that is going to spook the remaining moderate republicans. So he’s not going to get over on the far right christians and war mongers up until the primary is finished, and when it is he is going to blow his contra and libetarian cred by sucking up to whatever billioniare agrees to fund him.

  122. 122.

    trollhattan

    @aimai:
    Barking loons they all may be, Walker and Kasich can probably be groomed into bland, non-threatening types for the duration of a campaign. Worked perfectly for Bush the younger, and it can be done again.

    The rest of the lot, I don’t believe can be collared for the required eighteen months.

  124. 124.

    fuckwit

    The most dangerous part of democracy is when people treat elections like popularity contests. That’s asking for disaster.

    Remember those “Bush seems like the kind of guy you’d enjoy having a beer with” poll results and pundit ejaculations? And those Al Gore eye-roll obsessions?

    Whenever people start talking about the “likeability” of a candidate I know we are well on our way to fucked.

    THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL POPULARITY CONTEST YOU IDIOTS. They’re not running for Prom King or Prom Queen. Fuckin A!

    I give zero shits about the likability or unlikability of Clinton or any of the clowns in the clown car. Elections for president are about choosing someone TO EXECUTE THE LAWS. So, you pick someone who you think will most faithfully and competently execute the laws and conduct foreign policy, because that’s their job. Not to have a fucking beer with you or be your friend.

    And not to create policy either! As for policy, THAT IS CONGRESS’S JOB. Not the president’s job. So you’d damn well better be working doubletime to make sure you somehow get Congresscritters in place who will pass laws that implement the policy you want and need. Yeah, I prefer Sander’s policy positions to Clinton’s, but they’re both moot with the useless Congress we’ve got right now. I think the most important thing about Sanders’ candidacy is for him to win enough delegates to get his policy positions into the Democratic platform, for everyone up and down ticket to run on and then implement.

    I understand now why the Founders set up a federal republic with all those checks and balances, and not a direct democracy. They were terrified of humans succumbing to human nature and turning elections into teenage popularity contests, and they went to great pains to contain the damage that could be caused by that. Of course they could not have forseen our useless corporate media, cable television, and Citizens United.

  125. 125.

    steverino

    @raven: I went to Navy boot camp at Great Lakes, IL; no coercion to go to service, just time to catch up on boot-polishing and such. Thence to training at Orlando FL, site of the co-ed boot camp. The recruits there told me they all went to church, not only for the break, but because that’s the only place they could “fraternize” (such as it was) with the opposite sex.

  127. 127.

    Mike G

    Conservative ‘humor’:
    SomethingSomething HITLERY did SomethingBad! HurHurHur

    Cruz is about as funny as Rush Limbaugh, whose ‘jokes’ usually consist of laughing at the misfortunes of the poor and powerless.

  128. 128.

    Tree With Water

    @Hungry Joe: The California republican party has been running the same caliber loons (as today’s presidential candidates) for the past twenty years, and look where it’s got them. Even the people in Kansas will wake up and smell the coffee sooner or later; and when their like minded republican brothers and sisters across the country do likewise, the GOP as a national power will suffer correspondingly.

  129. 129.

    jl

    @Tree With Water: Not sure about that. California voters started deseating GOPers before the party went loony. The trend started when sour sullen bitter old white man bean counting type dudes lost their seats in SF Bay, around Sacramento and in LA. Even in California the loony GOPers in the loony districts kept their seats, particularly crazy House GOPers with a taste for graft and corruption.

    The crazies took over the CA GOP after the party started losing seats in state and federal legislative and state executive branch elections.

    Now, non-loon GOPers are starting to pop up in some races, like for the upcoming Senate race, but they are not prominent, and don’t seem to have much backing in the GOP.

    I think there is something a little different about voters districts that elect the current crazy reactionaries, both in Kansas and California. Not sure what it is.

  131. 131.

    Full metal Wingnut

    @fuckwit:
    Reminds me of a Lewis Black joke re Bush. “If you find yourself drawn to a candidate because he seems like the kind of guy you’d like to get a beer with, make sure he still drinks first!”

  132. 132.

    Death Panel Truck

    @The Other Bob: No, you’re not. I’m awaiting the day when she welcomes Mark Penn back into the fold with open arms. We all know how well that worked out in 2008.

  134. 134.

    Kay

    @rikyrah:

    Clinton’s doing a voting rights event this week, This is actually something she knows a lot about so let’s hope it’s not overly stage-managed!

    OMFG cut her loose, campaign staff. Nothing catastrophic is going to happen. She helped DRAFT the HAVA. She doesn’t need handling.

  135. 135.

    sparrow

    @Elizabelle: Not only that, but these positions are perfect for abusing the workers, because if you get fired, it’s back home to India for you.

  136. 136.

    Aleta

    Looks like he he’s trying to copy the John Stewart strategy. (And many others on the left—like Al Franken. Remember Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them?) An acknowledgement of its effectiveness and of the need for conservatives to use more than scare tactics to get out of their rut and attract young whippersnappers. There may be lots of new job opportunities for conservative-bought joke writers and comedy shows. (O’Keefe has got a natural talent of course, but he’s sadly incapable.)

  137. 137.

    boatboy_srq

    @Elizabelle: One more case (flipping the Duggar story) of being content with an undereducated, underpaid US work force / consumer base, exporting the high-skill work to cheaper locales, and maximizing the [remaining] profit. The corporate sphere just does not grasp that lower salaries translates to fewer workers able to afford the product. The H-1B story is decades old: when it was impacting IBM nobody cried; when it blew through the dot-com the workers got little sympathy; now it’s hitting Disney, and few will notice. It takes affecting someplace where customer dollars, time on a customer service call, or a major data breach or service outage at the outsource, are impacted for anyone to notice – and by then it’s usually too late. I often wonder whether packing up and heading for someplace that provides those high-skill jobs isn’t a good idea: even at the 60-70% salary cut, the standard of living at the equivalent pay rate is equal-or-better and the level of wingnuttery encountered on a daily basis is equal-or-lower (this is the long form of my “Kuala Lumpur looks better every year” comment).

  138. 138.

    boatboy_srq

    @sparrow: If I’m reading the story correctly, the “back-home-to-India” happens once training is finished regardless of whether the contractors are still on the payroll. The only thing happening on Disney property is the training and handover: once that’s done, the outsource goes live – back at the outsource’s home offices.

  139. 139.

    Turgidson

    @Kay:

    And Rand won’t be the nominee, and if lightning strikes all the other candidates and leaves him as their only choice, his rare combination of batshit insanity and pathological flip-floppery will finally be held up for scrutiny beyond saying his batshittery and opportunism merely make him “interesting.” And he’ll lose just as badly to Hillary as any of them, maybe worse.

  140. 140.

    askew

    @Kay:

    Well, they’ve already pissed off the media because they are putting them in a holding pen, not allowing any questions and making them use special designated bathrooms. I get not liking the media, but this is just stupid. Half of the media coverage is going to be about her hiding from the media. The actual policy isn’t going to get much coverage.

  141. 141.

    askew

    @rikyrah:

    The Clinton Foundation’s history in Haiti is equally as bad. They collected millions, made tons of promises and have done almost nothing.

  142. 142.

    trollhattan

    @Kay:
    I can’t be the only one watching “Veep” who finds it one-third satire, two-thirds documentary. The level of message (mis)management means nothing launches unscripted. Of course, scripts can’t anticipate events and flawed humans.

  143. 143.

    Aleta

    @fuckwit:

    “Bush seems like the kind of guy you’d enjoy having a beer with” poll results

    Yes, it was a very effective slogan to rid him of negatives (oddly enough, even the negative of drunk driving). And it pisses me off that those “Push polls” got labelled polls.

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