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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / All the King’s Horses…

All the King’s Horses…

by John Cole|  June 4, 20153:27 pm| 118 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016

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I know that we try to eschew jokes about appearances (in my case, glass houses and all that), but I am just going to note that this is NOT a good look for someone seeking the nomination to be President:

softballs

He looks like like one part Pappy and one part Herbie the Love Bug. Obligatory video:

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    Unabogie

    June 4, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    Wait, that’s not Photoshopped?!??

  2. 2.

    Tom Levenson

    June 4, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    bigfootee here, but I’ll admit that it’s in a good cause.

  3. 3.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 4, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    He is looking rather Tunchesque!

  4. 4.

    kuvasz

    June 4, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    William Howard Daft

  5. 5.

    KG

    June 4, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    it’s tough for bigger guys to look good in baseball uniforms (see CC Sabathia and/or Bartolo Colon), and that one does look a bit tighter than it should be… but it’s not the dumbest thing we’ve seen a presidential candidate wear.

  6. 6.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    Why is he balancing the ball on the tops of his fingertips?

    And is that even a baseball? It looks like a snowball.

  7. 7.

    eric

    June 4, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    I imagine the NJPD were not amused.

  8. 8.

    captnkurt

    June 4, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    “We could hire our own obnoxious, outta-shape guy, even more obnoxious, and more outta shape than him!”

    “Wouldn’t we look like a bunch a Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our outta-shape guy, doesn’t matter how flabby!”

  9. 9.

    Thoughtcrime

    June 4, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    I spot camel toe.

    Chris Christie is quite an androgynous name.

  10. 10.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    It actually looks like someone photoshopped around his hips, cropping him to look exquisitely svelte.

    But not professional photoshop work. Definitely someone’s nephew did this for a few bucks.

  11. 11.

    mdblanche

    June 4, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Babe Ruth Chris(tie)

  12. 12.

    Iowa Old Lady

    June 4, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    For some reason, that picture made me feel sorry for Christie. I don’t think I can forgive you for that, Cole.

  13. 13.

    jon

    June 4, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Body-shaming, even of cameltoe, isn’t a good thing. Making fun of an arrogant blowhard? I’m good with Pappy references and just saying it’s not a good look.

    You’ve navigated a narrow channel there, Cole. Consider yourself commended.

  14. 14.

    Poopyman

    June 4, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    @Tom Levenson: Gotta admit that Cole is democratic in his bigfooting, in that he doesn’t give a shit when and whom his posts hit.

    The governor would have been better served to have come out in full catcher’s gear, thereby reminding everyone that he actually did play the position, while (sorta) covering his bulk.

  15. 15.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    @kuvasz:
    I rank that right up there with the Outlaw Jersey Whale. Well played!

    And so Rih Perry decides HE’S got a shot, too. I truly did not think the Republicans could repeat the clowncar load they amassed for 2012, much less triple it. Holy cow, the money men must be beside themselves.

  16. 16.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    That’s not a baseball. It’s a fushigi ball.

    Well played, Mr. Christie! You’ve got my vote!

  17. 17.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    From the Onion:

    Former Texas governor Rick Perry announced Thursday his candidacy for the 2016 presidential election, hoping to fare better than he did in his unsuccessful bid for the Republican nomination in 2012. Here’s what you need to know about Perry:

    Campaign Slogan: “I Studied This Time”

    Experience: Effectively and efficiently led bungling of 2012 presidential campaign

    Policies: Tough on crime, specifically homosexuality

    Death Penalty Record: Undefeated, 234-0

    Political Base: Unsettling white guys in wraparound Oakleys

    Biggest Political Asset: Looks pretty presidential on muted TV at airport

    Biggest Liability: Public forums

    Greatest Political Accomplishment: Provided underserved minorities and mentally retarded individuals with access to quality executions

    Oh, And: Was recently issued felony indictment for abuse of power as Texas governor

  18. 18.

    Cacti

    June 4, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Has Christie not heard that baggy baseball trousers tend to be the aesthetic choice for the larger players?

  19. 19.

    srv

    June 4, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Where’s his Cowboys outfit?

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    June 4, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Dare I say he looks a little thinner?

    And, as others noticed: camel toe. Not rocking a good look.

    Fess up: is it real, and where’s the photo from?

  21. 21.

    Thoughtcrime

    June 4, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Meanwhile, much more relevant Christy news: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/just-when-christie-thinks-hes-outta-bridgegate-it-pulls-him-back-in

  22. 22.

    Betty Cracker

    June 4, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    That’s not even the most unflattering photo from the event. Check out the second photo at this Deadspin link. Oy.

  23. 23.

    Tree With Water

    June 4, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Christie is a performance artist whose schtick has finally worn too thin for even New Jersey republican half-wits. Maybe he and Pookie can team up (Pookie from that show about typical New Jersians that South Park hilariously ridiculed a few years ago), and revive their stalled careers together. Why not? It’s not as if he’s got anything to lose in terms of reputation at this point.

  24. 24.

    BGinCHI

    June 4, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    I’m surprised they could have a game after the NJ GOP stole all the bases.

    /for wingnuts, substitute “inner city youth”

  25. 25.

    Cacti

    June 4, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    The second pic is awesome in its fully organic ridiculousness.

    Body contorted, flab squishing out in various directions, and the derp face of exertion being made.

    HOF quality for embarrassing photos.

  26. 26.

    GregB

    June 4, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Christie is so full of himself that he thinks he looks great now that he’s lost dozens of pounds due to his lap band surgery.

    Hellova a front-butt Christie.

  27. 27.

    scav

    June 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Number 3 is just aching to be included in one of those the chimpanzee-to-gorilla-to-neanderthal-to-briefcase-man lineups.

  28. 28.

    cahuenga

    June 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    Oh Gawd.

    This post should come with a warning.

  29. 29.

    Keith P.

    June 4, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    He looks like he’s incubating a baby kangaroo…that’s sitting on a moose knuckle.

  30. 30.

    Elizabelle

    June 4, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    I am feeling some sympathy for Mr. Christie (more for Mrs. Christie), and almost give him props for turning up in an unflattering uniform and playing ball. He’s heavier and older, but still out there and apparently having fun. It’s humanizing.

    Come on. Indict this guy. Wasn’t that supposed to be happening, imminently?

  31. 31.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    I see a sadness in his eyes.

    It’s not all happening the way he envisioned it would happen.

    In his mind, he should have been a presidential front-runner by now.

  32. 32.

    Aaron Morrow

    June 4, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    I think it’s insulting to compare Chris Cristie to Pappy O’Daniel.

    At least Pappy kept the reform-loving Klansman out of the governor’s mansion.

    (I’m going to start calling Christie “Junior” because they’re both stupid panderers. “A lot of people like that reform. Maybe we should get us some.”)

  33. 33.

    Foggy Follansbye

    June 4, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    Aw, how bad could a president who loves baseball be?

  34. 34.

    aimai

    June 4, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    @kuvasz: Lol

  35. 35.

    BGinCHI

    June 4, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    @Foggy Follansbye: If we could only find one who had actually worked in baseball.

  36. 36.

    jl

    June 4, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Is that Tweedledum or Tweedledee?

  37. 37.

    fuckwit

    June 4, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    That’s fucking disgusting. God damn you, now I can’t unsee that.

    And what’s with the Hitler salute he’s doing? With a baseball on his fingers? That’s a fucked up pose too.

    Just, uggh, you ruined my lunch.

  38. 38.

    SatanicPanic

    June 4, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    @jon: pointing out a camel toe isn’t body-shaming, it’s pointing out wardrobe malfunction

    just saying

  39. 39.

    Aleta

    June 4, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    It may useful for the modern US to get over the shock at the very idea of having a Prez who has breasts. Especially since medicine doesn’t even understand the causes of obesity. I want a Prez who likes to think, likes working really hard, is smart, compassionate and not a bully. (Both Christie and the excellent-at-bicycling GW are said to be bullies, so no connection to weight there.) Some experience in public school or at not always being upper class would be good, too. I’d hate to lose a good candidate just because her belly bulges out unless s/he wears spanx which cuts off the oxygenated blood supply to his brain and then there we are with Reagan again.

  40. 40.

    Fourten

    June 4, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    I know that we try to eschew jokes about appearances

    That’s a far as this post should have gone John, there is plenty wrong with this man that has little to do with his appearance. Weight might be more controllable than other appearance-related issues but it’s only a narrow half-step down at most and one not worth taking.

  41. 41.

    Quaker in a Basement

    June 4, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    Pappy, we need to git us some of that ree form.

  42. 42.

    Chet

    June 4, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    President FUPA

  43. 43.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 4, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    I wuz robbed. I thought this was gonna be a run up to the Belmont thread. I’ll pretend it is! I think American Pharoah is the big horse – one of those that come along not real often. And when Wayne Lukas says a horse (that’s not in his barn) is special, I pay attention.

    In the last couple of years, we’ve had a little flicker or flame that maybe that would be in the offing with some of these horses. But in my opinion, I haven’t seen a horse that would give me the confidence that maybe that could happen like he does. He’s special. His style intrigues me. I don’t see any limitation with that long stride, the way he moves and his acceleration that keeps him out of trouble, which is part of the equation.

    The gray colt Frosted has me concerned for the possibility of a triple crown. He’s got better breeding for stamina behind him. But I look at what Lukas said, then think that if any horse in recent memory can outrun his pedigree, it’s this big bay colt.

  44. 44.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 4, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    @Thoughtcrime: I hate you.

  45. 45.

    Tree With Water

    June 4, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    In all seriousness, from what I gather Christie is probably going to be indicted sometime soon, or down the road a piece (not that it apparently matters a lot to most republicans, cough-Rick Perry-cough). At the very least an indictment is within the realm of possibility. I’m the type to sweat if my vehicle registration tags are expired. Yet here’s a guy with that threat looming, jack-assing it up in the middle of Yankee Stadium. He’ll never be president, as he well knows- Christie is not that kind of fool. But what does make a guy like him tick? I ask because it’s something I’ll never figure it out on my own.

  46. 46.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    @SatanicPanic:
    Dude has handlers and has presumably learned mirror technology himself, yet they and he decided this was okie-dokie for a (very) public event. Should have gone with mom jeans, instead.

  47. 47.

    muddy

    June 4, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    @SatanicPanic: Indeed. There is a woman who lives on my street who is average sized, and her camel toe literally makes me wince. I am talking about a good inch here, not a 1/4″ hint. When she walks her dog there are a few houses she feels fearful about I guess, because she will start running past those yards. People are always telling her that running will make any chasing dogs more interested, not less, but she won’t stop. I came up with the theory that she was deriving sexual pleasure from the seam of her painful looking pants when she ran, and thus could not give up the kink.

  48. 48.

    Kay

    June 4, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    It makes me sad only because he thinks it’s a good picture- showing his expertise and skill. If it were more spontaneous then it might be funny.

  49. 49.

    Mike in NC

    June 4, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Was laughing out loud at the picture and comments, so my wife checked it out and said “That’s not a good look”. Happy Hour starts at 5 PM and I’ll be toasting the triumphant entry of Rick Perry into the Klown Kar. Maybe that will finally motivate The Donald, Newt, Rudy, and Phil Gramm to declare their intentions to save the country.

  50. 50.

    joel hanes

    June 4, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    http://www.hapmoore.com/images/july06/babe_ruth.jpg

    I despise the current Governor of New Jersey, but I’m a portly man myself,
    and there’s a long precedent for less-than-svelte men looking silly in baseball uniforms.

  51. 51.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    @muddy:
    Did not see that coming.

  52. 52.

    Joel

    June 4, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    In terms of unflattering photos, you’re going to have a hard time topping this one.

    And yes, the subject is completely deserving.

  53. 53.

    Villago Delenda Est

    June 4, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: What I can’t imagine is displaying my body in that particular set of clothing that way. Yet Christie went there.

  54. 54.

    SatanicPanic

    June 4, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    @trollhattan: I see what you did there

  55. 55.

    JPL

    June 4, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    @Joel: Thanks… It will take awhile to get that picture out of my mind.

  56. 56.

    Villago Delenda Est

    June 4, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    @joel hanes: There’s a reason for the Yankees and pinstripes. That reason was Babe Ruth.

  57. 57.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    @Mike in NC:
    Since we’re kinda talking about Republican presidential candidates, if unable to actually count them, I saw this BBC article about industry’s resurgence in Indiana that includes the following.

    In a move that some have credited to Midwestern prudence, Indiana funded its pension plan for state workers – unlike many other states like Illinois – allowing it to enact a series of tax cuts prior to the recession that made the state attractive to businesses.

    Furthermore, the state passed “right to work” legislation in 2012, which meant that unions could not force everyone in a unionised plant to pay dues – a move that is potentially crippling to organised labour, but that is viewed favourably by firms.

    Although some academics – including Professor Hicks – have questioned whether or not right to work legislation truly drives manufacturing growth, a study by the Indiana Economic Development corporation found that after the law was changed, 12,000 jobs and more than $1.2bn (£670m) in investment were added to the state by companies said they chose Indiana because it was a right-to-work state.

    So, is Pence the Republican’s eleventh-hour savior? Any pending indictments?

  58. 58.

    muddy

    June 4, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    @trollhattan: If you lived on my street you would see that coming from all the way down the block.

  59. 59.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    June 4, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    @kuvasz: Winner.

  60. 60.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    @SatanicPanic:
    Not my proudest moment, but unable to resist….

  61. 61.

    Rosalita

    June 4, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    how does a guy even manage camel toe? He must be hung like hamster

  62. 62.

    muddy

    June 4, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    @Rosalita: I sent this to someone just now and he said he hoped Christie did not get the wrong thing rubber-banded in his surgery.

  63. 63.

    Chet

    June 4, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    Apparently it’s not the first time.

  64. 64.

    catclub

    June 4, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I have a vague memory of Secretariat running away from the field by what, 25 lengths? AP looked like that at the Preakness.

  65. 65.

    Lihtox

    June 4, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    I suppose there’s a difference between criticizing someone’s physical form, and criticizing their choice of clothing given their physical form? (He’s the Governor, you’d think he’d have a tailor.)

    But eh, I’ve seen lots of overweight baseball players, and he doesn’t look all that bad by comparison.

  66. 66.

    Elizabelle

    June 4, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I’ll root for American Pharaoh.

    Although have not watched his races this year. Usually do, but that (fresh, not raced in Derby or Preakness) French horse running away with California Chrome’s Triple Crown last year spoiled big-event horse racing for me.

    Too much pulling the football away at the last minute. So kind of meh this year, although a Triple Crown would be good for the sport. I guess …

  67. 67.

    Kyle

    June 4, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: It is a snowball. He’s disproving global warming. Has he no friends who would step in and warn him that “camel toe” is not a good look for him.

  68. 68.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    @muddy:
    You are just tearin’ up the joint today. :-)

  69. 69.

    Hal

    June 4, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    As a fat guy myself, I avoid shirts tucked in pants like the plague. Past a certain weight it’s impossible not to look ridiculous.

  70. 70.

    Citizen Alan

    June 4, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    For me, the fact that he is overweight in this pictures is overshadowed by the fact that he and his handlers were so unwise as to anticipate how unflattering his attire would be. Mike Dukakis got hammered for wearing a tank helmet that was no where near as embarrassing as Chris Christie wearing very tight white pants in any context.

  71. 71.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    @Citizen Alan:
    John Kerry was a sissy elitist on a road bike, wearing standard biking garb; Dubya was a manly man on his mountain bike wearing mountain bike garb. I was like, “What the hell?!?” Owning both types, my election or loss revolves around which bike I choose to ride on a given day?

    I bet Kerry has an elitist wooden swing, not a tire swing.

  72. 72.

    sukabi

    June 4, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    Guys, if you’re gonna don spandex, ESPECIALLY if you’re a self professed ‘alpha male’, you’d be doing yourself a favor by donning a cup, or a rolled up pair of socks…. the camel toe does not shout alpha….

    Just sayin

  73. 73.

    satby

    June 4, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    @Thoughtcrime: ok, ewwww

  74. 74.

    sukabi

    June 4, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    Guys, if you’re gonna don spandex, ESPECIALLY if you’re a self professed ‘alpha male’, you’d be doing yourself a favor by donning a cup, or a rolled up pair of socks, the camel toe does not shout alpha.

    Just sayin

  75. 75.

    johnnybuck

    June 4, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    The horror… The horror..

  76. 76.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    June 4, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    Dress like no one’s watching!

    @trollhattan: Sail-boarding, too, or whatever you call it (not a beach/water guy). If Bush had done it, it would’ve been proof of his youthful, role-model-y athleticism.

    Everybody hear Rush excoriating Kerry for his elitist “exercising” instead of sending his maid out to score the oxy like a real regular guy man?

  77. 77.

    muddy

    June 4, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Feh to Rush. Check Kerry out here. That’s hot, you’d never think he was 70.

  78. 78.

    Tone in DC

    June 4, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    I don’t feel sorry for Christie. Not in the least. He’s been a vile, power hungry idiot for most of his adult life.

    As for the klown kar, the more the merrier. They’ll outdo each other piling on teh st00pid (Fracking makes ground water better! Arm kindergartners when they first matriculate: an armed naptime is a polite naptime!).

  79. 79.

    Tree With Water

    June 4, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    Off topic. I’m re-reading the definitive account of the intelligence failures that precipitated the attack on Pearl Harbor, and have just ran across this:

    “..If Congress had calmly, cooly debated the matter and concluded that the news of out breaking the Japanese codes was of vital national interest, its action would be understandable. But I concluded that Congress wanted to make the secret about Magic public knowledge mainly for purely partisan gain. Certain Republican members of Congress hoped that by uprooting the tree that bore the Magic fruit, they could place the blame for Pearl Harbor on Washington, discredit the Roosevelt era, vilify and destroy the continuing career of Marshall, and throw our new Democratic President, Truman, out of office”.

    From the book Pearl Harbor-Final Judgement; Henry C. Clausen; Crown Publishers, 1992; pg. 193.

    Clausen was a assistant federal prosecutor-and republican- who was charged by Secretary of War Henry Stimson to get to the bottom of what went wrong, and why the Pacific Fleet was caught flat footed on December 7th (he did, too).

    Governance was even then a blood sport to those contemptible people, whose political descendants are today in complete control of the Republican Party.

  80. 80.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    I’m sorry. That is not a baseball he’s balancing on the top of his fingers.

    Snowball, as Kyle says. Or perhaps a scoop of ice cream.

    Or a tiny crystal ball.

  81. 81.

    ThresherK

    June 4, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: It looks around the thighs, to me, that there is a thin “racing stripe” down the side of the pants. That may give it the appearance of being off compared to the rest of the photo w.r.t. foreground and background.

    The thin racing stripe is a popular enough look now, but to me its sartorial splendor hit the width, and the peak, in the 1980s, courtesy of Montreal Expos and New York Mets.

    Plus, depending on what he’s wearing, he could be simply that lumpy and uneven underneath.

  82. 82.

    mdblanche

    June 4, 2015 at 5:28 pm

    @johnnybuck: Mistah Christie – his political career dead.

  83. 83.

    raven

    June 4, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: It’s a 12 inch softball.

  84. 84.

    Germy Shoemangler

    June 4, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    @ThresherK: You’re right. It’s the uniform. The thin racing stripes against the blurry background made it look like photoshop to me.

    Why does the ball look like a glowing orb/ lump of mashed potato?

    It’s the world’s largest engagement ring.

  85. 85.

    Turgidson

    June 4, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    @trollhattan:

    They seem to think some of these frauds and performance artists are really good candidates. Amazing.

  86. 86.

    JPL

    June 4, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    @Tree With Water: My father was on the Nevada and never voted for a Republican after the attack on Pearl Harbor. He totally blamed them.

  87. 87.

    ThresherK

    June 4, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: From the Deadspin link Betty put up, it looks like an all-white softball without stitches. Brand-new, like nobody’s ever seen in after-work softball.

    What is going on in the photo atop this page I can’t imagine. The other photos are much more athlete-at-play looking.

  88. 88.

    Elizabelle

    June 4, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    @Germy Shoemangler: I think it’s Jim Inhofe’s snowball.

    And it’s not melted, people. No. Global. Warming.

  89. 89.

    KG

    June 4, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    @catclub: yeah, Secretariat won by about 25 lengths at the Belmont. He only won the Preakness by 2 and a half lengths. American Pharoah won the Preakness by 7 lengths, so there’s a reason he’s a 3/5 favorite for the Belmont. What AP has working against him, and has been working against other horses recently that won the Derby and the Preakness is that they’ve seen larger fields for the Belmont. Secretariat ran against 4 horses at Belmont, AP faces 7. California Chrome faced 10 horses last year at the Belmont. Affirmed in ’78 ran against 4 horses, Seattle Slew in ‘7 ran against 7. Should be a fun race.

  90. 90.

    raven

    June 4, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    @JPL: I just read a book about the divers who went in at Pearl after the attack. Incredible stuff.

  91. 91.

    Aleta

    June 4, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    @Tree With Water: In Japan’s view (I was told in Japan) the US was the aggressor by blockading Japan’s oil supply lines in the far east. (They were already at war and invading countries, just not at war with the US.) A really long time ago, a sort of government-conspiracy-theorist-historian (amateur) who worked for the US army told me that the US did indeed provoke Japan to attack us, in order to convince the country to enter WWII. He claimed that the US had an idea almost to the day when an attack from Japan would come, by calculating when their oil supply would run out after the blockade began. (Since Japan had no oil supplies of its own, their war effort, and their growth in general, was dependent on takeover of supplies of minerals, oil, coal, etc.)

    No idea about how true this is. There is some dispute about other parts of the story of Pearl Harbor, such as communications from the Japanese government to their ambassador in Washington.

  92. 92.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    @Aleta:
    From what I’ve read, Japan’s soft-peddling of their WWII role in schoolbooks isn’t too different how the South peddles the “Wowah of Nohthern Aggression.” And the current PM is happy to put his thumb in the China’s eye, too.

  93. 93.

    NotMax

    June 4, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Have no problems whatsoever with the picture (as opposed to having multiple problems with Christie). Eye of the beholder and all that. Offhand would say he’s shed at least 80 pounds since the surgery.

  94. 94.

    sm*t cl*de

    June 4, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    And what’s with the Hitler salute he’s doing?

    “My plants are this high.”

    And is that even a baseball? It looks like a snowball.

    Either (1) Out-of-focus spotlight in the distance, or
    (2) An Orb.

  95. 95.

    Renie

    June 4, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Why does he have a NYPD shirt on? He’s from New Jersey.

  96. 96.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 4, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    @raven: I really regret not asking my old man to tell me about being at Pearl then.

  97. 97.

    lgerard

    June 4, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    @KG:

    Secretatiat won the Belmont by 31 lengths.

    He didn’t just win the Triple Crown, he set the track record in all 3 races. 40+ years later, those records still stand.
    It’s a wonder he could get anyone to race against him.

    American Pharoah is a nice horse, but I am not impressed by his times or his competition. He certainly has a good chance of winning, but I think I will take a small flyer on giant longshot Keen Ice

  98. 98.

    David Koch

    June 4, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    I wonder if they’ll let him play on the prison softball team

  99. 99.

    Elizabelle

    June 4, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    @lgerard: My late dogs enjoyed going to Wingmont, one of the best kennels ever, not too far from Secretariat’s birthplace. Book early. Your pets will love you for it. Human swimming pool for dogs, and if they are water-shy, they can float around on floats. You have to see it to believe it.

    http://www.wingmont.com

  100. 100.

    Valdivia

    June 4, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    I can’t believe no one said it but I think he’s wearing man-spanx.

  101. 101.

    NotoriousJRT

    June 4, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    I don’t like Chris Christie. I think he is a bully and corrupt. Most of his policy positions do not match my values.. But, I give him points for courage if not style. Baseball uni’s are not forgiving; he had to know this. And before his surgery, this would not have been possible. I thought his morbid obesity would be a bar to his presidential hopes. Turns out he had a plan for the weight issue (though not overnight), but no plan for becoming less of an a-hole.

  102. 102.

    Death Panel Truck

    June 4, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    @lgerard: What I liked about Secretariat was that he was a badass and he knew it. He took to the track that day at the Belmont like an executioner on his way to the gallows. He knew he was going to win. Penny Chenery said it best: “He just felt like running that day.”

  103. 103.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    June 4, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    @Thoughtcrime:

    Me too. Dressing like that…he’s just asking to be sexually assaulted.

  104. 104.

    EthylEster

    June 4, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Holy cow, the money men must be beside themselves.

    You think they are happy to throw away money on > 10 obvious losers?
    If I had their money, I’d spend it more carefully. ;=)

  105. 105.

    trollhattan

    June 4, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @EthylEster:
    Suspect they’re tearing their hair out because they can’t simply target their guy and get it over with and into the general. And they can’t not spend their money on the dark horse possibilities because if one survives the process, they need to have him on the payroll.

    It’s hard out there, for a pimp.

    Hillary can’t play Jerry Brown’s waiting game but they’re making her path seem a lot easier than I’d have guessed a year ago.

  106. 106.

    RSA

    June 4, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    @jl: His uniform is an unfortunate match to the Tenniel illustration.

  107. 107.

    MazeDancer

    June 4, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Seriously thought this was a reference to a kind of Hitler salute. (The ball on his fingers is unexplained since this isn’t a PhotoShop)

    Of absolutely no interest is weight. Or body types. Or anything of that ilk. Really, think body-shaming is not a good use of brain cells. OTOH, Christie’s brain cells for sure need shaming.

  108. 108.

    Sy

    June 4, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Damn moose-knuckle.

  109. 109.

    A guy

    June 4, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    If this thread can make fun of Christie for being fat then Bruce Jenner Is fair game no matter what the gay/trans/whatever say….

  110. 110.

    Athenae

    June 4, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    @kuvasz: I love you, and that, and am stealing it.

    A.

  111. 111.

    Zinsky

    June 4, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    Christie apparently has no penis.

  112. 112.

    Southern Beale

    June 4, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    Good lord Chris Chrisie has a cameltoe.

  113. 113.

    dexwood

    June 4, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    @johnnybuck:

    Nice. Christie = Kurtz.

  114. 114.

    Nick

    June 4, 2015 at 11:39 pm

    You know at some point, if you’re not going to make fun of fat people, you’ve got to stop making fun of fat people. It’s not just Chris Christie here — this joke depends on the HILARIOUS fact that in this picture, he looks like a fat woman with her genitals showing through her clothes. If you wouldn’t laugh at her, don’t laugh at him.

  115. 115.

    Narcissus

    June 5, 2015 at 1:20 am

    Apparently there’s nobody on his campaign who will shoot down his awful ideas.

  116. 116.

    WaterGirl

    June 5, 2015 at 9:35 am

    I had to google camel toe. Who knew?

  117. 117.

    samiam

    June 5, 2015 at 9:42 am

    Nice cameltoe Kristie Kreme.

  118. 118.

    Bingo Longer

    June 5, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Also, No. 41? In the Mets’ font? Really? Tom Terrific you ain’t, bridge boy.

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