"Time is a flat circle: Rick Perry is upon us again.” http://t.co/qtM52xi6I2
— Forrest Wilder (@Forrest4Trees) June 4, 2015
Lindsey, as it happens, is the one other gen-u-wine military veteran among this cycle’s GOP candidates. But the only reason Rick Perry is getting more media attention than Lincoln Chafee right now is that Texas is so much bigger than Rhode Island…
We know where Rick Perry would like to lead the country. Back to 1861. He’s the first candidate in over 150 years to run for the presidency of the Confederate States Of America. — Charles P. Pierce, Esquire
Tragically, not a joke; read the ThinkProgress article for an interesting list of all the things Rick Perry is on the record as considering “unConstitutional” — from Social Security and environmental/worker/voter protection laws to the direct election of Senators. (In the good ol’ days, state legislatures appointed senators, which was a real boon to corrupt state legislators.)
"We cling to our families, our Bible and our guns," sings Gary Kyle and No Standards Band at Perry announcement. pic.twitter.com/tMdzYkW0h2
— jonathantilove (@JTiloveTX) June 4, 2015
AIDE: We need somewhere to launch a presidential campaign that'll look great on TV
AIDE: How about a metal airplane hanger in Dallas in June
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) June 4, 2015
Row of vets from different wars introduced as "extended members of the Perry family." Now on to Obamacrimes pic.twitter.com/kgXgW4zNFv
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) June 4, 2015
The NYTimes and the Washington Post could barely bring themselves even to be dismissive, while the Texas media knows him all too well. Christopher Hooks, at the Texas Observer, “Don’t Laugh… “:
… You didn’t think former Gov. James Richard Perry, of the Paint Creek Perrys, was leaving us for good, did you? It has been 30 years since Perry entered public service, almost half of which he spent as a governor whose level of dominance over the state verged on a personality cult…
Perry was never going to go away quietly, oops or no. If you were to make the case for his presidential ambitions, you could point to his survivor’s instinct and his long history of success as a political chameleon—first a Democrat, then a Republican; first a believer in certain parts of the infrastructure of big government, then a tea partier; a Christian conservative, or a Tenther libertarian. What are his actual beliefs? Does he have any, or is he motivated solely by his love of the performance of power? If the latter, it might be the most presidential thing about him…
Vote for Rick Perry, or his two friends will kick you out of the bar. pic.twitter.com/aIwQmTzD5H
— James Downie (@jamescdownie) June 4, 2015
The twins are Morgan & Marcus Luttrell, ex-SEALs, and Adam Weinstein at Gawker has an explanation of the ensuing Twitter-tantrums:
Rick Perry’s presidential campaign launched today on the premise that you don’t need to be able to count to three as long as you can push the red button. But amid his militaristic orgy of self-praise, dumb media people had a dumb media argument about the emo twins flanking Perry. Caitlyn Jenner was involved…
.
Perry's delivery v solid today—he's a lot better with a TelePrompTer pic.twitter.com/Im9iEcSExE
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) June 4, 2015
Voter indifference belies sobering reality: Perry will likely run for POTUS under indictment, a 1st by most accounts http://t.co/mdbDZRAS6f
— Patrick Svitek (@PatrickSvitek) June 4, 2015
From Jonathan Tilove’s article, at the Austin Statesman:
…[T]he bad news for Perry is that the field is large and fluid and his special virtues – leadership skills, executive experience and likabilty, which could make him broadly acceptable – aren’t necessarily unique. What is unique to him, not just in this field but it seems in the annals of American history, is that he is the first major candidate for president running for president while under indictment.
He and his team have done a very good job of presenting that fact in its best light, and making it almost an afterthought, if that, in most of what is now written about Perry. But, the fact remains that he is under indictment back in Austin, with no resolution in sight…
Perry was indicted for abuse of power after threatening to veto funding for the state’s Public Integrity Unit unless Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg stepped down from office after her arrest for drunk driving and unseemly behavior at the time of her arrest.
While Perry initially played the indictment to his political advantage, over time, Rottinghaus said, it is nothing but an albatross. In a field as large as this, for almost any other claim Perry can make on a voter – his foreign policy hawkishness, his executive experience, his social conservatism – there is, Rottinghaus said, another candidate who can make that same claim and isn’t under indictment…
.@GovernorPerry speech followed by $$ plea: 'Let’s show this country that we're going to put the fuel in the engine' for win #mysa #txlege
— Peggy Fikac (@pfikac) June 4, 2015
Official @GovernorPerry post-announcement interview with Sean Hannity, Fox's Boswell to Republican Johnsons. pic.twitter.com/z64FkRAg0d
— jonathantilove (@JTiloveTX) June 4, 2015
.@GovernorPerry leaves Hannity without talking to regular press trailing him — just like when he was governor! #mysa #txlege #nostalgic
— Peggy Fikac (@pfikac) June 4, 2015
Honestly, why not Rick? Unlike these other chumps, he has the benefit of having no actual real beliefs, as far as I can tell #WhyNotRick
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) June 4, 2015
Amir Khalid
I look forward to the media questions:
“Governor Perry, will you take leave from the campaign to attend your trial?”
“Governor Perry, how wil your conviction affect your chances on Election Day next week?”
“Mr President-elect Perry, you’ve been refused bail pending your appeal. Will the Chief Justice be visiting you in prison to administer your oath of office?”
Baud
AFAIK, Perry is still popular in Texas. Jindal plans to run also, and his polling is in the toilet.
Patricia Kayden
@Amir Khalid: Now that would actually make his campaign fun (but not for him).
Valdivia
I think the better question is: who is not running for president from the GOP side.
raven
A fucking air force JAG officer is about as weak shit of being a vet as there could be.
Baud
@raven:
He beats W.
Schlemazel
Given the number of clowns in the GOP car (“Yeah, I think we’re all bozos on this bus” – Firesign Theater anyone?) I have do wonder, do they all actually believe they stand a chance? Are some of the wounder ones running for VP and the future (2020) headliner gig? They can’t all be that delusional . . . seriously
raven
@Baud: I disagree, like it or not W strapped his dumb ass in a jet. Pittypat ain’t gonna get hurt by his law books.
dmsilev
@Valdivia: Well, we’re still missing several of the 2012 clowns. Mittens is out. We haven’t heard from Newt. Nothing from Herman 999 Cain. Going back a bit further, I’m sure Alan Keyes is rested and ready.
I believe the first rule of clown cars is that there’s always room for one more clown.
Valdivia
@dmsilev: maybe there is a rule that the clowniest candidates only get to ride in the clown car once? I think that is all they need to have the grift to work.
Kevin Drum had a ranking of candidates from clowniest to less clowny. Pretty much my take. Only exception is that I think if Kacich gets in he would be one tier up.
Baud
@raven:
Let’s agree that they both suck and not fight.
Schlemazel
@raven:
It seems symmetrical, A JAG officer then a JAG off now.
Schlemazel
@Baud: Not fight? You new here ?!?!
raven
@Schlemazel: He’s still in the Reserve.
Another Holocene Human
I’m so over Rick Perry, so boring. Hasn’t he had enough damning scandals yet? No? GOP in Tx holding his shit back as a professional courtesy?
I’m reading full time Duggar drama. As a survivor of child abuse, these people disgust me. I’m glad to see plenty of people, including the crew on CNN the other day (including Don Dipshit Lemon!), seeing right through their utter bullshit: minimizing molestation, handing such a serious issue “in house”, taking no responsibility, uttering not a word of concern about the victims, and casting themselves as a victims of a worldly, police/media conspiracy.
The most damning thing is when the planet’s most famous Gothardites admitted that juveniles sexually assaulting other juveniles in the home is typical in their community.
WHAAAAAAAA—–???
Oh yeah, sign me up for “Jesus” (Bill Gothard, sexual predator)’s godly plan right now!
(Jesus is the one who said you should amputate organs if you so much as think about raping somebody, not exactly expert clinical advice but a far cry from this cult-Calvinist it’s-no-biggie, make the victim forgive the perp shit. Jesus also didn’t command offering forgiveness, instead, he counseled those who had done wrong to make restitution, as well as to plead for forgiveness, 7×70 times or some other ridiculous number. If you’re begging that many times, kind of implies the other party is not being coerced to accept it. And Jesus never said “well, just tell God you’re sorry and it’s all good.” I point this out because it’s kind of a stretch to call these people Christians. They don’t even pretend to follow the same scripture and traditions that Christians do.)
BillinGlendaleCA
@raven: I believe he recently resigned his commission.
BillinGlendaleCA
I hear on Morning Hoe that GE wants to move from CT to a “more business friendly state”, do they mean one of those that are turning their asphalt roads into gravel because they don’t have the funds to maintain them?
raven
@BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks
Waspuppet
“OMG TelePrompTer you can’t be president” is SO 2009. New marching orders are in.
Unless you’re saying there was just something DIFFERENT about this president …
BillinGlendaleCA
Hmmm, it’s raining outside(looks at calendar, this ain’t right), we’re thankful.
Randy P
We’re going to have lots of opportunity to point and laugh over the next year and a half. But it still depresses me to consider that one klown will be left standing in November 2016 and that person will receive votes from nearly 50% of the American voters.
Valdivia
The interview phase of the Hastert scandal is here
ETA: apologies for the Breaking! headline. To the news everything is always breaking.
Baud
@Another Holocene Human:
Even Access Hollywood or one of those other entertainment shows was all WTF Duggars the other night.
NorthLeft12
@Randy P: For the sake of your country, I sincerely hope that those “nearly 50% of the votes” does not convert to over 50% of the electoral votes.
On second thought, how about for the sake of the world? The rest of us need the US to be a constructive member of the world community.
Germy Shoemangler
@Randy P:
That’s my gloomy take as well. Any of these clowns is poised to do real damage. And I don’t believe HRC is guaranteed. Anything could happen.
I laugh at them, but I remind myself of those birds out in the forest who do imitations of the chain saws approaching their habitat.
I laughed at Reagan in 1979. I laughed at W in 1999. I can chuckle at the klown kar, but it’s coming at me at 90 mph, bright headlights in my face.
OzarkHillbilly
@Another Holocene Human: As one who felt the righteous hand of God (and yardstick, and book, and…) on an almost daily basis in 5th and 6th grade I can only say there is no abuser like a believer.
Germy Shoemangler
@Valdivia: There’s a RWTroll in the comments section of my local paper calling liberals perverts because of something Bernie wrote forty years ago.
BruceFromOhio
I thought time was a gypsy caravan
That steals away in the night
To leave you stranded in dreamland
With so many klowns in the klown kar kavalcade, I can see a total splintering of the primaries, where each klown gets votes and wins a majority in his or her region or state… and nowhere else. The only winners are the advertisers and the print shops. Perhaps this great gravy train of grift is really a jobs program?
Ricky needs better rims, he looks like a claims adjuster.
Valdivia
@Germy Shoemangler: oh yes, you see that is being a pervert but a real abuser, he’s just being witch-hunted by the liburl media.
Baud
Anyone here about the sniper in Colorado? Today show just covered it.
Valdivia
@Baud: Nothing on twitter but I see there were a few news reports yesterday that they suspect a sniper after a series of shootings.
Bystander
That a guy under indictment can declare his candidacy without evoking uncontrollable laughter speaks volumes about how crazy the repub party is. Crazy, lawless and dangerous.
Which is why I agree with Germy above about laughing at the clowns. One of those guys could be a Ralph Steadman character for the next 8 years.
Baud
@Valdivia:
Scary.
MattF
Biggest change from four years ago– he’s wearing glasses. And not your fashionista wire-rims, either. He-man glasses.
Valdivia
@Baud: yes, I remember the case in 2002 of the sniper team here in the DC area. Pretty scary.
Off to bury myself in books, have a good day y’all.
Mustang Bobby
Forty-seven years ago today Bobby Kennedy was shot in the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles after winning the California primary. He died the next day.
Maybe it’s just the mists of time and nostalgia clogging my mind, but I have yet to hear any of the potential presidents running for the 2016 nomination that come close to his vision, his compassion, and his eloquence.
Baud
@Valdivia:
This one doesn’t seem to shoot as often, or be as accurate. Hope they catch him soon. Now that it’s making the news, I wonder how he will react.
OzarkHillbilly
@Valdivia: I predict a white guy.
Valdivia
@Baud: yes I hope they catch him soon
@OzarkHillbilly: that would not surprise me.
ok lovely people gotta go figure out how to teach that extra class I got saddled with which is on a theme I have little idea about. Fun! :)
Elizabelle
@Valdivia: Good luck! What’s the class subject? Read up.
raven
@Mustang Bobby: It was the first time I dropped acid. I was in the Army stationed at Ft Lewis. We went to Seattle and scored, ate it and took the bus back to the fort. We got back after dark and couldn’t hang in the barracks so we took a radio into the laundry room, turned it on and it came on the radio. Oddly, the Tom Petty video of “Learning to Fly”, about kid’s first trip includes a one or two second flash of Bobby on the floor after being shot at 3:02. For years it drove me nuts how that was in that video! I finally read somewhere that he just put it in their randomly.
Mustang Bobby
@raven: I remember that day very well.
raven
@Mustang Bobby: Nice. I was already on the road to cynicism at the ripe old age of 19. I was in Korea when MLK was killed and on my way to Vietnam that fall. Disillusionment was ingrained.
raven
Will Joe ask one of these motherfuckers about the SOFA and our withdrawal from Iraq?
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@Germy Shoemangler:
Reagen didn’t humiliate himself on national TV in 1976 like Perry did in 2008. That will be hard one to live down and Perry isn’t affable enough for people to over look it.
Germy Shoemangler
@Mustang Bobby:
This guy is an eloquent, compassionate visionary.
raven
debbie
@dmsilev:
Time to pull the clown limo up to the curb.
BillinGlendaleCA
@raven: I turned it off while Joe was bitching about his taxes in CT. Did you know he pays 55% of his income in taxes? He should get a new accountant. And to answer your question about the SOFA, NO.
Baud
@BillinGlendaleCA:
I wish he would release his tax returns. Why should we take his word for it?
debbie
@Mustang Bobby:
I remember watching the news that night and feeling the world had gone insane. Little did I know…
debbie
@Germy Shoemangler:
What, Obama’s too schlubby for you?
Keith P.
@Baud: Jindal’s that kid who told the neighborhood he’s jumping Springfield Gorge on his bike, but now that he’s actually there and knows he can’t make the jump, everybody’s watching him, so he jumps anyway.
ThresherK
I glanced at the top one and thought, Finally the two sides of Rick Perry are together. He’s running for President. Of Texas.
Hey, let’s start a betting pool on which reporter will ask him “So, no secession for now?” We’d all die and have to leave the money in escrow.
Baud
@Keith P.:
I hope he makes the debates.
Germy Shoemangler
I suspect the debates will be tightly controlled, limited and brief. I don’t think the GOP wants them fighting too hard.
OzarkHillbilly
@raven: Yeah, but a Strong Leader ™ would have just ignored that.
low-tech cyclist
Bibles and guns – two great tastes that taste great together.
They’d notice the cognitive dissonance there, if they had any cognition.
Elizabelle
@ThresherK: You called it. Visuals say: this guy is running for the White People’s Republic of Texas. And any of you red staters who wish you were here to share the glory. Fertilizer plant implosions. Biblical weather. Counties with more cattle than people.
Perry’s good looking. I wish his ambitions stopped at being a soap opera leading man.
low-tech cyclist
@Valdivia:
I’ve been using this quote:
“Well, who in the damn galaxy ain’t?” – Mal Reynolds
OzarkHillbilly
@low-tech cyclist: It’s like sweet and sour chicken or even better, Miller Lite:
“Tastes great!”
“Less filling!”
MomSense
@Baud:
What?? My kid is out there.
Baud
@MomSense:
Northern Colorado apparently.
FlipYrWhig
@Elizabelle: He looks like a member of the Brolin clan.
JimL
I protest that Tweeted comparison of Hannity to Boswell and Perry to Johnson. Both Boswell and Johnson were literate.
Gin & Tonic
@JimL: There is more than one interpretation of the word “Johnson”
Chris
@Germy Shoemangler:
Yep. Agree completely with your last paragraph.
Like it or not, we live in a country where almost half the people are stark, raving, bugfuck, loony tunes, kool aid guzzling insane. Sooner or later, one of them’s gonna get back in the White House. And if the Law of Worsening Republican Presidents holds, he’ll actually be worse than W. Bush.
Germy Shoemangler
@Chris: Why doesn’t one of the Koch brothers just roll up his sleeves and declare? Push all his surrogates to one side and say “I’m the one, mutherfuggers”
And if anyone dares ask him to release his tax returns, he can refuse. Didn’t Mitt set that precedent?
nominus
“AFAIK, Perry is still popular in Texas. Jindal plans to run also, and his polling is in the toilet. ”
No, that’s not how it works here. Everyone in Texas swears that they always hated Perry, and they certainly never voted for such a fraud. Somehow it was everyone else in Texas that kept him in office long past his shelf date. In Texas you don’t disavow losers, you pretend they never existed. Meanwhile you just latch on to the next asshole who is going to commit all the same mistakes and/or crimes. See Abbott, Cruz, et. al.
Chris
@low-tech cyclist:
I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of “my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
Kathleen
@raven: While I didn’t have to worry about being drafted to fight in Vietnam, I became very cynical at age 18/19 as well. I remember waking up and hearing that RFK had been murdered, and thinking “This is the end of the world” because it came on the heels of MLK’s murder and I was terrified that something more was afoot. Of course I’m one of those very rare people who still believe JFK’s murder was a conspiracy.
raven
@Kathleen: When we threw in the people we actually knew that were getting killed it made for a witches brew.
Chris
@Germy Shoemangler:
Because a lot of corporate types would rather be the ones behind the throne than the ones sitting on the throne. You don’t want to bog yourself down in all the nitty-gritty administrative details of running a national government, or the mess of an election campaign. And you certainly don’t want to be the public face of the operation, the one who gets the blame when your policies go bad. That’s what you hire people for.
Also – I remember reading a long time ago that in the original Gilded Age, a lot of the robber barons considered politics to be beneath them. I used to think that was for the obvious reason (politics is a messy and dirty and sleazy business even in the best of times). Watching the Romneys and especially Ann’s reaction to the campaign made me realize there’s an even more direct reason – politics means talking to the rabble. It means standing up in townhall after townhall listening to the plebes, pretending that you care about their boring concerns, pretending that you’re one of them, putting yourself on display for them, actually seeking their approval, as if they had any right to pass judgment on you. The entire election cycle, I was just getting that vibe that they couldn’t believe they actually had to go through all the exposure to their inferiors when the White House was plainly theirs by divine right. I can well imagine that there are a lot more 1%ers out there who find the whole mess too disgusting to even try for it.
Helmut Monotreme
@Keith P.:
No, once it’s clear he can’t make the jump, he makes his little brother who still rides with training wheels, jump.
Valdivia
@Elizabelle: sorry I was burried in books until now. It’s a class of art of latin america in the 20th century (I called it A Visual Tango). It was programed for last term then cancelled, then cancelled again and revived last minute. I know enough (specially about the muralist movement) but I am not really an expert to wing it. Thankfully I had already done the syllabus and prepared the reading materials about a year ago now I just have to figure out what to say (and make sure I am not wrong!) It should be fun though once I cram enough knowledge in my head.
@low-tech cyclist: lol, I have to start using that.
Germy Shoemangler
@Chris: Chris, excellent points.
And I noticed that about Anne Romney (“You people”)
Amir Khalid
@Valdivia:
Interesting that the victim passed away 20 years ago and so is not Individual A, who’s been collecting beaucoup bucks from Hastert.
Valdivia
@Amir Khalid: Yes, Individual A is someone else who suffered at the hands of Hastert. As we guessed, there is more than one victim. I am sure others will come out now.
Tone in DC
@low-tech cyclist:
LULz. That’s gonna leave a mark.
Kathleen
@raven: Indeed.
Goblue72
@raven: you keep playing that tune – it’s the only one you know.
Ruckus
@Chris:
They are better than that, damn it.
Just ask them.
boatboy_srq
Is it just me, or is that shot of Perry’s fauxnouncement the whitest whitey white collection of whiteness this year? It’s also in the running for the most masculine manly collection of maleness. But the white nature of the white collection of white folks on the white dais in front of the white plane is just so darned white. I keep reaching for my peril-sensitive sunglasses.
Epicurus
Anyone here know when/if Perry’s trial has yet been scheduled? I’m thinking it would be good if it coincided with the GOP nominating convention.
pea
after 30 years of watching the gains and rights of the middle class eroded (take wage/benefit cuts or your job will be moved to mexico),
villified for expecting pensions they paid into that were “raided” by the likes of enron and bain capital, any republican who now says “i hear you”, “inequality is a problem in the u.s.” is just another asshole carpet bagger, lying through their teeth with a dollar signed twinkle their eye.
fuckwit
@raven: And was, by all accounts, an excellent pilot.
Now, who gives a shit? Hitler loved his girlfriend too. How is that relevant to anything? It doesn’t redeem him in any way. Neither does Shrub’s skills at doing loops in a F104.
I am sick to death of all of this military-worship in this country. It got so ridiculous during the 2004 campaign I was puking blood: Swift Boats, kerning, both candidates and everyone downticket too trying to show how fucking soldiery they were. It was absurd.
This is supposed to be a civilian-run country, last I checked. Two of the most well-known generals ever to have served as president warned us about the deep dangers of the military getting too much power, too much status, too entrenched, in civilian government.
Chris
@fuckwit:
I just saw a picture from a conservative and active-duty military Facebook friend: “A lot of people think [whatever her name is who’s transsexual and has everyone talking about her] is brave, but you don’t see ANYONE talking about [name of a soldier who lost both his legs and is pictured smiling with his two new prosthetics]!”
I’m so fucking exhausted with the soldier-worship. Is it even possible to recognize anyone, or anything, anywhere, without being guilty of committing thoughtcrime and slander against The Troops? “Ohhh, you say you love bacon and scrambled egg breakfast? I guess that means you don’t love THE TROOPS, hmmm, you Islammunocialist flag-burning Volvo-driving latte-sipping traitor to the homeland?”