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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Cruz-ifiction / Friday Evening Comic Relief Open Thread: Ted Cruz, Suffering for Our Sins

Friday Evening Comic Relief Open Thread: Ted Cruz, Suffering for Our Sins

by Anne Laurie|  June 12, 20155:41 pm| 99 Comments

This post is in: Cruz-ifiction, Election 2016, Grifters Gonna Grift, Republican Stupidity, Assholes

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Ted Cruz complains that running for president sucks. http://t.co/NEgkp3wnzG pic.twitter.com/jaWpRs9MQW

— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) June 11, 2015

Even the VRW Fiscal Times (via Yahoo) couldn’t force themselves to find a fvck to give:

Ted Cruz Throws Himself a Pity Party
Running for President is, apparently, a miserable experience. And if Ted Cruz has to suffer, he thinks his supporters should, too.

In a strange fundraising solicitation sent out by email Wednesday night, the Republican senator from Texas enumerated all the terrible things that go along with seeking the highest office in the land, as part of a pitch to get “courageous conservatives” to “make tough sacrifices” – basically, sending him money.

“You see, running for President of the United States is a significant sacrifice,” Cruz writes. “Only through prayer and many late night discussions with my wife, family, and closest friends did I make THE decision.”…

“My runoff campaign for the Senate in 2012 took a toll, but now I’m sacrificing even more sleep with long nights and constant travel. And the pizza diet is a staple on the campaign trail.”…

“The cost of campaigning back and forth across the country for president is increasingly expensive, but Heidi and I are willing to invest our livelihoods into this sacrifice…”

Apparently concerned that he hadn’t stressed just how much he is giving up to run for president, Cruz throws in a post-script: “I’ve chosen to make some steep, necessary sacrifices in our fight to restore America. Will you join me with your gift of $250 or $100? OR if $35 or $10 is a stretch gift for you, I will be grateful for every dollar you can sacrifice and will ensure it is faithfully used.”…

Yeah, it’s pretty clear he’s just in it for the grift, now. (Not to mention that his father’s fill-the-collection-baskets sermons left a permanent impression.) Simon Maloy at Salon further discusses “the laughable “strategy” that guarantees [Cruz] will get nowhere near the White House“:

It’s sometimes easy to forget that Ted Cruz is running for president. While other 2016 Republican candidates are out giving big speeches and attaching themselves to causes and making trips to Europe, Cruz has stayed relatively quiet, which is strange given that his animating purpose up to this point has been to loudly remind you that Ted Cruz exists…

That’s not to say he hasn’t been busy, though. Despite middling poll numbers and no shortage of people who despise him, Ted Cruz thinks he’s got the perfect plan to win the White House. As Politico reports this morning, “Ted Cruz is embracing a novel strategy for winning the nomination: He’s lowering expectations in the early states while investing in later-voting states that hardly see a candidate before March.” At the same time that he’s downplaying Iowa and New Hampshire, Cruz is talking in terms of a drawn-out delegate fight that will win him the nomination by virtue of attrition:

But Cruz’s team is bracing for a long fight based on picking up delegates — a battle they plan to stretch all the way to the convention, where, the theory goes, he’ll be the last conservative standing — though a contested convention hasn’t happened in nearly 40 years.

Politico calls this a “novel” strategy that “defies the usual wisdom – and historical precedent.” But Cruz’s plan isn’t quite so original. It’s actually a mash-up of two failed strategies from two recent failed Republican presidential candidates: Rudy Giuliani and Ron Paul….

Also, Newt Gingrich and — a generation earlier — Pat Buchanan. You’ll notice what these guys have in common, apart from not succeeding at becoming President: They’ve had very prosperous post-campaign careers selling books, appearances, “expertise”, and GOP-friendly commentary across every possible media platform. Their presidential runs greatly boosted their personal brands and improved their mind share awareness in the vast Wingnut Wurlitzer mega-marts.

Ted Cruz is no longer running for president, if he ever really was — although he’d gladly accept the title, were it offered humbly enough by a chastened citizenry. He’s running for God-King of the Green Rooms, and he’s certainly got all the right talents for that job.

It's so burdensome for the glory born. https://t.co/JgvPQ4KOPy

— Bob Schooley (@Rschooley) June 11, 2015

Apart from milking the rubes, what’s on the agenda as we start the weekend?

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Reader Interactions

99Comments

  1. 1.

    chopper

    June 12, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    “why, back in my day they used to call me Grifty McGrift!”

  2. 2.

    Cacti

    June 12, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    I have to give Raphael a hat tip for his inadvertant support of common sense gun regulations…

    All participants in his official Cruz 2016 “shooting excursion” have to pass a background check.

    Link

  3. 3.

    BGinCHI

    June 12, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    If it’s so miserable why doesn’t he get into a warm bath with a sharp razor?

    Where’s the commitment?

  4. 4.

    redshirt

    June 12, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    It ain’t easy being the new Republican Jesus.

  5. 5.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    I read about the Cruz email on Wonkette and their analysis was as always LOL funny. Look I used to travel a lot for work. Friends always seemed to think it must be fun to fly into large metro areas all over the country.

    I was like maybe the first ten times. But on the 25th or 50th time, not so much. What Cruz is doing, or anybody running for President, must be 100 times worse.

    But don’t complain about it and try to raise money. I mean if you can’t hack campaigning for the office how the heck are you going to deal with being President if you actually win (which he has zero chance of — thank god).

  6. 6.

    raven

    June 12, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    Ask the mothefucker what the troops are doing.

  7. 7.

    muddy

    June 12, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    You know how they love the Flavor of the Week – and then each reveals himself and is struck off for being No True Conservative. Maybe he’s hoping to keep his head down and not get knocked out early. Then he can take his turn at the end and they are out of time for finding Republican Saviors.

    “You’re Out of Options – Ted Cruz 2016”

  8. 8.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    some photos of the girls, etc. from 1st family vacation by request. girls did great.
    enjoyed some empty beaches
    saw some wildlife
    caught some fish
    laughed
    had new experiences
    spent time with good friends and used up our miles.

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    June 12, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Imagine the headlines:

    President Cruz Demands Time-outs For Terrorists, Citing Overwhelming Work Load

    Cruz To Congress: “Help!”

    First State Dinner For Afghanistan: “We’re Going Alphabetically,” Says Cruz

    Cruz Hires Temps To Staff, Run White House On Weekends

  10. 10.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    i is moderated for moar than 3 links because i forgotted fywp protocol.

  11. 11.

    ThresherK

    June 12, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Ted Cruz, Suffering for Our Sins.

    Likewise, I’m shoor.

  12. 12.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    Thanks AL!

  13. 13.

    geg6

    June 12, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    AL, check your email. Lovey pics are awaiting you.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    June 12, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: Nice! Where’d you go? Looks dreamy as it’s November-like weather here.

    I don’t see any cocktails in those pics. I’m worried about you.

  15. 15.

    mdblanche

    June 12, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    I’ll be on the veranda, since Ted Cruz is already on the cross.

  16. 16.

    fleeting expletive

    June 12, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    I have perhaps an embarrassing question for anyone to answer. At my 50th high school reunion I stayed with my local best friend and my high school friend whom I had not seen for 30 or so years. My local friend is all sobriety now through AA, and my HS friend (I didn’t know this as she never spoke of it)–well, her parents were raging alcoholics until their deaths.

    I had bought a quart of regular vodka and drank it over the 2 nights in the hotel room. Just talking, TV, etc. after the activities of the reunion. Nothing happened but it was only me drinking. As we were all departing and saying our goodbyes HS friend says “you’ve got to get a handle on this! You’re too smart and I love you, etc.” Quite histrionic, too.

    I was taken aback. I didn’t think that was an excessive amount of drinking, and indeed, I just putter around living my life with no horrible consequences heretofore. I don’t go out at night or to clubs or order anything but water or coffee at restaurants.

    So is that an excessive amount of alcohol for a tall, not skinny woman? I am baffled. Also, HS friend did herself drink at one of the functions, saying “I’m going to get another drink”, and she was driving! I was just speechless altogether and determined not to let her words make me feel bad about myself.

  17. 17.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    I couldn’t understand his comments about only eating pizza. I assume he isn’t staying at a per hour motel and he is in pretty nice hotels. As somebody that traveled a lot and lived on room service I’ve never been to a place where I couldn’t get a salad via room service. Or something like broiled chicken, rice, and steamed veggies. If he is only eating pizza that is his choice. Don’t bitch and moan about it.

  18. 18.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 12, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    Just catching up on past threads.

    Why does Zandar have so many trolls??

  19. 19.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    @BGinCHI: we visited some friends in the bahamas.
    i did have a few kalik beers and various “punch” like drinks down there (not pictured). hope all’s well with you and yours BG

  20. 20.

    Cacti

    June 12, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    Has anyone close to you that isn’t a teetotaler ever expressed concern about your alcohol consumption?

    Ex-drunks tend to project their insecurity about the demon drink onto anyone who still partakes.

  21. 21.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    @Cacti: E

    x-drunks tend to project their insecurity about the demon drink onto anyone who still partakes.

    Yes. That was exactly what I was going to say.

  22. 22.

    BGinCHI

    June 12, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: It is indeed. Mrs. BG got a Fulbright and we are moving to Norway for next academic year (August to July). University of Bergen, where I will also be a Visiting Professor. Lot of work getting ready but going to be a big adventure.

  23. 23.

    TriassicSands

    June 12, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Sniff. Sniff. And here I thought Cruz was just doing all this for the good of the country. Now I’m really disillusioned.

  24. 24.

    BGinCHI

    June 12, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    @BGinCHI: Ps. Hope you all are well too, but judging by the pics that seems obvious. Great looking kids.

  25. 25.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    @BGinCHI: That is outstanding and congrats! great to hear and exciting for you guys.

  26. 26.

    Mike in NC

    June 12, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    Watching Ted Cruz suffer should be available on Pay Per View.

    He’s going to be the next Jim Demint and bail on the Senate in a couple of years for a more lucrative gig at some wingnut ‘think tank’. Maybe running Americans for Prosperity for the Kochs.

  27. 27.

    redshirt

    June 12, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    @BGinCHI: Wow! Congrats and enjoy the adventure!

  28. 28.

    ThresherK

    June 12, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    @BGinCHI: Wait, so she’s the smart one?

    (asked the baccalaureate married to a masters-holder.)

  29. 29.

    Cervantes

    June 12, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    @raven:

    Exactly.

  30. 30.

    Valdivia

    June 12, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: Too adorable for words. As we say here: squeee!

    @BGinCHI: Oh my congrats. That right there is one of my dreams, living in Norway. Also, Bergen is amazing. You guys will love it.

  31. 31.

    srv

    June 12, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    You people vastly underestimate the American public.

    There was a time when Ronald Reagan was not taken seriously, and yet the public came around and made him President. Cruz is too young to win in 2016, but his time will come.

  32. 32.

    jl

    June 12, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    ” Watching Ted Cruz suffer should be available on Pay Per View. ”

    You willing to pay to watch Ted sitting on unmade hotel beds, stuffing himself with pizza and self-pity, and manfully looking out of some anonymous hotel window choking down the pain?

    I guess he could raise some money with a vlog of his campaign suffering. It would be a niche market, I think. Very niche.

  33. 33.

    Tree With Water

    June 12, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    As of this moment, I’d say Mitt Romney stands as fair a chance to regain the nomination as the others have to win it. This picnic he’s tossing over the weekend may prove to constitute the least expensive, most successful campaign for a party’s nomination in history.

  34. 34.

    trollhattan

    June 12, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    The night hasn’t even begun here, so y’all have a few hours yet to top this…IF YOU DARE!

    A conservative California assemblywoman has touched off a backlash by suggesting that God eased Texas’ drought after the passage of pro-life legislation.

    According to an article in RH Reality Check, an online publication that covers reproductive health, Assemblywoman Shannon Grove, R-Bakersfield, told a pro-life gathering that after Gov. Rick Perry signed “the fetal pain bill” – an apparent reference to conversational legislation that banned abortions after 20 weeks and put new restrictions on doctors and clinics – “it rained that night.”

    “Now God has His hold on California,” Grove is quoted as saying.

    California sits opposite Texas on the abortion spectrum, with the Golden State’s legislative leaders standing with abortion rights advocates and pushing bills to expand access. Grove is one of the few vocally pro-life lawmakers. Last year she courted controversy with unsuccessful legislation banning sex-selective abortion.

    In a followup statement, Grove reiterated her belief that “God’s hand is in the affairs of man.”

    “Is this drought caused by God? Nobody knows,” Grove said. “But biblical history shows a consequence to man’s actions; we do know for sure that California’s water shortage crisis has been compounded by liberal politicians’ poor decisions – not properly managing our water resources and refusing to build water storage for decades.”

    Tides come in, tides go out. You can’t explain that.

  35. 35.

    Baud

    June 12, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    @BGinCHI: so jealous

  36. 36.

    shell

    June 12, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    Course the natural, normal response would be ‘if you think it’s hard now….’ But like Cruz ever gave a serious fuck about being Prez.

    I’ve chosen to make some steep, necessary sacrifices in our fight to restore America. Will you join me with your gift of $250 or $100?

    Ummm, care to enumerate exactly what those personal sacrifices are? You mean there’s no sugar daddy for you?

  37. 37.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    @Valdivia: thx. :)

  38. 38.

    jl

    June 12, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    This was on my agenda or twenty seconds or so, but I gave up. What is so important about open carry at the zoo?
    The not-quite-rich-enough gun nuts looking for ways to have budget canned hunts, or what?

    St. Louis Zoo Obtains Restraining Order Against Man Planning Open Carry March
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/st-louis-gun-march-zoo

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    June 12, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    So is that an excessive amount of alcohol for a tall, not skinny woman?

    A quart of vodka over two nights is indeed an excessive amount for anyone. According to NIAAA, moderate drinking is 1 drink (1.5 oz of hard liquor) per day for women and 2 for men, and binge drinking is drinking enough to bring your BAC up to .08, which is supposed to be about 4 drinks for a typical woman and 5 for a typical man. A quart of vodka contains about 21 standard drinks, so consuming it over a couple of days is way above the line, even if you are extremely stout. You shouldn’t be consuming anything close to that much on a regular basis.

  40. 40.

    Cacti

    June 12, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    @Tree With Water:

    Sunrise pilates with Ann Romney and Mark Halperin.

    (shudder)

  41. 41.

    Bobby B.

    June 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    “I’ve suffered for my sins, now it’s your turn.”

  42. 42.

    Roger Moore

    June 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    @jl:

    What is so important about open carry at the zoo?

    Ammosexuals are like small children: they throw a tantrum whenever somebody tells them no.

  43. 43.

    muddy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    @fleeting expletive: This is 2 different friends? I was unclear as to whether the sober AA one was the same person as the one who had the alcoholic family.

    Doesn’t matter I guess, whether it’s 1 or 2. In both/either cases there is a traumatic history involving alcohol. This would make the person more sensitive on the topic, and I would just take that into account. It’s also a hard thing to say to someone, unless this person is always giving bogus advice I think it just shows that they care about you.

    I will say though, that one person drinking a bottle of liquor in 2 days sounds like a lot to me personally. Even if it were a large man. But everyone has a different amount that works for them. If you don’t have a problem, it’s not a problem I guess. You are the only one to know that.

  44. 44.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    @jl: Good for the St. Louis Zoo. I didn’t know the zoo had a ban but a second good for them. I live in the area and our Zoo, well all of Forest Park is a gem. I don’t think a lot of people realize Forest Park is the largest city park in the country. You could spend days there (and I have many times) and not see everything.

    When I am there by myself or I take my niece I don’t need folks walking around with guns. Period!

  45. 45.

    chopper

    June 12, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    I agree with cacti etc, sounds a bit ‘zeal of the converted’ to me.

  46. 46.

    Felonius Monk

    June 12, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Watch the new Ted Cruz movie opening next week:

    Ted Cruz: AMERICAN CANADIAN HEMORRHOID

  47. 47.

    muddy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: He’s a “colorful” personality is likely their problem.

  48. 48.

    ThresherK

    June 12, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    @Cacti: It’s better than their first idea:

    “Couples Massage with Ann Romney and Mark Halperin”.

  49. 49.

    catclub

    June 12, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    @BGinCHI: If you are serious you cut along the arm. Across the wrist is a rookie move.

    A court today knocked back one of the three convictions that the military tribunals have gotten at Gitmo.
    Meanwhile, hundreds in the Civil Courts.

  50. 50.

    chopper

    June 12, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    as long as that isn’t what you’re doing on a regular basis. drinking a half a quart of vodka on a regular day is pretty nuts. drinking it on a weekend special occasion is alright in my book.

  51. 51.

    trollhattan

    June 12, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Welp, I can’t get this past FYWP so just read it for your ownselves.
    Shorter Shannon Grove(R, Bakersfield): Rick Perry killed Texans instead of babies, or something.

  52. 52.

    trollhattan

    June 12, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    @ranchandsyrup:
    Yay, will view later where Flickr not blocked. They take all the fun, I tell ya.

  53. 53.

    Cacti

    June 12, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    @muddy:

    I will say though, that one person drinking a bottle of liquor in 2 days sounds like a lot to me personally. Even if it were a large man. But everyone has a different amount that works for them. If you don’t have a problem, it’s not a problem I guess. You are the only one to know that.

    I would qualify that with a “yeah, but”…

    fleeting expletive made it clear that she was on a leisure trip for a high school reunion, and when people are on leisure trips, the alcohol tends to flow a bit more freely. If she said, I drink a quart of vodka every 2-nights, then I’d say that’s a problem. If it’s just more of a one-off thing, I’d say no biggie.

  54. 54.

    Baud

    June 12, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Regarding Cruz, it’s nice to see at least one Republican pay a price for shutting down the government.

  55. 55.

    ThresherK

    June 12, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    @Bobby B.: I got there a bit earlier, but I do prefer your wording.

  56. 56.

    muddy

    June 12, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    @Cacti: Sounded like 3 were in a hotel room and 1 person was drinking. That’s not like everyone is partying along merrily. If 2 people (I still am unclear if this is 2 different people) are sober and one drinks a half bottle on their own sitting in a room it’s worth giving consideration to.

  57. 57.

    mdblanche

    June 12, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Meanwhile in Europe…

  58. 58.

    Baud

    June 12, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    I hope we’re not spending the rest of the evening in a Ted Cruz thread.

  59. 59.

    Cacti

    June 12, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    A quart of vodka over two nights is indeed an excessive amount for anyone. According to NIAAA, moderate drinking is 1 drink (1.5 oz of hard liquor) per day for women and 2 for men, and binge drinking is drinking enough to bring your BAC up to .08, which is supposed to be about 4 drinks for a typical woman and 5 for a typical man. A quart of vodka contains about 21 standard drinks, so consuming it over a couple of days is way above the line, even if you are extremely stout. You shouldn’t be consuming anything close to that much on a regular basis.

    Despite the definitions of NIAAA, binge drinking is not a medical or scientific term that has a generally accepted definition, and not surprisingly, varies by country and culture.

    The time period on that NIAAA definition also sounds off, as most definitions of “binge” drinking that I’ve ever seen confine the binge to a 2-3 hour period. That is, having 5 drinks a day may make you a heavy drinker, but it doesn’t necessarily make you a binge drinker, as you won’t achieve the same level of acute intoxication consuming 5 drinks over 12 hours as you would 5 drinks over 3 hours.

  60. 60.

    Bruce Webb

    June 12, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    @Roger Moore: Roger you left out some key words, I suspect deliberately. From your link (my emphasis)

    “NIAAA defines binge drinking as a pattern of drinking that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) levels to 0.08 g/dL. This typically occurs after 4 drinks for women and 5 drinks for men—in about 2 hours.”

    There is a big difference between drinking 4 drinks in two hours, which will get you quite drunk, and 10 drinks over a full day or even evening. Which would put you in line with say a Sunday brunch followed by a dinner with wine followed by a couple of drinks at a jazz club. Or even ten drinks a day over a long weekend. Plus the NIAAS is kind of a fanatic organization on this to start with. Per them if you have five beers once a week on Sundays during a full day and evening of football you are a heavy drinker. Or if you drink one beer after work and two glasses of wine with dinner on a regular basis. That is ridiculous.

    That said I am a heavy drinker and averaging a pint a day of hard liquor over any period of time 1) indicates that you might well have a substance abuse problem in and of itself and 2) puts you at serious risk of damaging any number of organs starting with liver and stomach and also of contributing to diabetes and high blood pressure which can lead to kidney and heart damage. In other words don’t be like me.

    But don’t listen to people who tell you that enjoying a cocktail after work, some wine with dinner, or some beers at a weekend picnic even if done every week makes you clinically an alcoholic or anything like it. This comes from the same people who publish BMI (Body Mass Index) tables that would have anyone not built like a long distance runner as obese.

  61. 61.

    raven

    June 12, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: Nice!

  62. 62.

    raven

    June 12, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    @Bruce Webb: I drank almost every day for 30 years. Then I quit. People I know said, “you didn’t have a problem, we hardly ever knew when you drank”. Uh huh.

  63. 63.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: So cool to see you didn’t make her daughter fearful of wildlife (the stingray). In my book that is a very, very cool thing!!!!!!!

  64. 64.

    Keith G

    June 12, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    So is that an excessive amount of alcohol

    I could see where some would find this worrying.

    But, ya know…don’t look for answers here.

    Talk to your physician about how this fits into your life. Find a way to discretely or directly “feel out” friends/family if any have any observations about you that might indicate issues.

    But if you are just on a lark and drink a “bit” now and then……not sure why that would be an issue.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    June 12, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    @muddy:

    Yes, two separate friends.

  66. 66.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 12, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @catclub: Remember, kids, it’s down the block, not across the street!

    Although ever since we got the finely-tuned murder machine with knives for fingers cat, my wrists look like I’ve been practicing.

  67. 67.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 12, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    @raven: @Tommy: thx fellas!

  68. 68.

    Pogonip

    June 12, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    Goodmorningkitten.com is even cuter than usual today.

    That is all.

  69. 69.

    Pogonip

    June 12, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    If you feel the need to ask if you are drinking [eating, smoking, complaining] too much, you are.

    Although complaining on Balloon Juice gets a pass; otherwise the site would be very, very quiet.

  70. 70.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Well happy thought. I just watered my garden and I can report that after a few years of some epic fails (and some successes) it appears I got it “right” this year. I’ve already got a few tomatoes and peppers appearing. Every plant flowering.

    What I am most stunned/happy about is I added a third raised bed this year and put in squash and cucumbers for the first time. I thought my basil and tomato plants grew fast, but these plants are out of control with growth.

    In the not to distant future, I am going to have more veggies than I know what to do with. But I’ll just go vegetarian when that happens and fix some rice and eat veggies 24/7.

  71. 71.

    geg6

    June 12, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    I don’t drink hard liquor, but I’ve been known to drink a couple of bottles of wine over a weekend. And John and I split a bottle at dinner at least one week night a week. It is one of my great pleasures in life. I understand some people can’t do that because they can’t stop or it creates difficulties in their lives, but I’m not one of them. And I don’t give a damn about what anti-alcohol fanatics have to say about it. Some people can and some people can’t drink and that’s just life. I stick with wine and beer only because hard alcohol affects me in bad ways, mostly physical (and I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to vodka completely). So I get those who can’t drink at all. What bothers me is that they seem to think that nobody can or should drink. That is simply not true.

  72. 72.

    Keith G

    June 12, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Moving on from Cruz:
    John Dickerson has a bit of reporting up on HRC’s “Big Speech” inked for tomorrow.

    The first paragraph:

    Tough mother. That’s both the theme of Hillary Clinton’s big speech on Saturday and the emerging theme of her campaign. According to a preview of her remarks, Clinton will talk about her mother’s struggles and how they guide her and her campaign, which the candidate has fashioned around four tough fights. Since announcing her campaign in April, at every stop Clinton has said she will advocate for families, remove money from politics, increase wages for the middle class, and protect America. How is she going to do these things? She’s going to fight

    .
    A bit farther down:

    Fight, fight, fight. Clinton rarely misses an opportunity to raise her gloves, even when she is making a joke about something else. “I’m aware I may not be the youngest candidate in this race,” Clinton told Democrats in South Carolina in May. “But I have one big advantage: I’ve been coloring my hair for years. You’re not going to see me turn white in the White House. And you’re also not going to see me shrink from a fight.”

    He also embeds the Hillary For America’s video, Fighter.

  73. 73.

    dmbeaster

    June 12, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    @fleeting expletive:

    So is that an excessive amount of alcohol for a tall, not skinny woman? I 

    Yes. Think about how many ozs. of vodka are in a typical drink, 1 to 2 ozs. So that is somewhere between 16 and 32 drinks in two days. That is a bender.

  74. 74.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    @Keith G: There are a few things I don’t like about Hillary. I don’t trust her entirely. But I lived through the Clinton years in the 90s. I know she will fight. She won’t back down from the far right and all the BS they will throw at her. That alone makes me like her more than a little. I just hope she chooses to fight the battles that need to be fought the most.

  75. 75.

    Baud

    June 12, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    @Tommy:

    I wonder if she’ll choose Tom Petty’s I Won’t Back Down as her campaign song.

  76. 76.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    @Baud: That would be a great choice. Even more so because I love me some Tom Petty. Is Petty a liberal?

    Another thing I like about her is her resume. I am nothing close to a historian, but I can’t recall a person with a better resume then she has running in my lifetime.

    Senator. SoS. Lawyer on Watergate way back in the day. The First Lady of Arkansas and the nation. And by all accounts she wasn’t a “traditional” First Lady, going to events and smiling. She was into policy, which of course totally pissed off the right.

    Sanders is more my speed, but if I have to vote for Hillary I won’t be that “sad” about it. I’ll feel far better voting for her than I did Gore or Kerry.

  77. 77.

    BGinCHI

    June 12, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    @ThresherK: Why, of course she is…

    /erases hard drive

  78. 78.

    Baud

    June 12, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    @Tommy:

    I ain’t ever been sad voting for a Dem presidential candidate.

  79. 79.

    Keith G

    June 12, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    @Tommy: I haven’t voted for a presidential candidate who didn’t have positions or characteristics that I had problems with. Each and every time I filled out the ballot knowing that the man I was voting for was not as good as he could/should be. But then, I wasn’t voting for a god or savior, just a political leader.

  80. 80.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    @Baud: @Keith G: Agreed. I have never had the person I wanted to win in the primary make it to the general election. Long ago when I went door-to-door for Jerry Brown in Louisiana of all places I came to the realization this would always be the case and I made peace with it.

    I will be happy to vote for Hillary. Not only will she fight but I really think she likes to get into the “weeds” and understand policy. Not just talking points. That is a huge, huge plus for me.

  81. 81.

    Zinsky

    June 12, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    What a self-pitying egotist. It’s all about him, right? Cruz is in the right political party. The election in 2016 is going to determine whether we are a “we” nation or a “me” nation!

  82. 82.

    ThresherK

    June 12, 2015 at 8:01 pm

    @Tommy: The Spousal Unit is a big Tom Petty fan, and she’s mentioned that he has filed more than one injuction (or whatever) to a Republican misusing his music.

    He may well give Cruz permission for “Free Falling” gratis.

  83. 83.

    TerryC

    June 12, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    @chopper: Well, I retired last year at age 67. Didn’t start drinking until I was 35. Never heavy until recently. I’ve decided that a quart of vodka every couple of nights (If I want) works for me going into the third third of my life.

  84. 84.

    Tommy

    June 12, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    @ThresherK: Yeah I just saw that when I Googled “is Tom Petty a liberal” to answer my own question. He did cease and desist orders for at least George Bush and Michele Bachmann for using his songs.

  85. 85.

    Ruckus

    June 12, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    @efgoldman:
    Snowbilly may not have actually known she was campaigning. That might make it a lot easier. Ted, not being that ignorant, knows what he is doing. He also knows that if he gets within a whiff of the job, he’d actually have to work. We all know that she hates anything coming within a 100 miles of work, I’d be he does as well.

  86. 86.

    redshirt

    June 12, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Good gods I’ve discovered vodka late in life and wow is it different then other alcohols!

  87. 87.

    Cervantes

    June 12, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    @redshirt:

    !

  88. 88.

    Cervantes

    June 12, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Even Snowbillie Snookie, whom I respect even less than I do the average housefly, never bitched about the rigors of campaigning.

    She complained mightily, but not in public.

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    June 12, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    @TerryC:
    I have been known to drink a bit, in the past. Not close to the level that some have that I’ve known, but on occasion, more than any reasonable level for light drinking. I’ve stopped completely as I’d like the third third of my life to actually be a third and that gets harder to accomplish with drinking.

  90. 90.

    Just One More Canuck

    June 12, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    @Felonius Monk: Forget it. You broke him, you bought him.

  91. 91.

    Anne Laurie

    June 12, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    @Tommy:

    What I am most stunned/happy about is I added a third raised bed this year and put in squash and cucumbers for the first time. I thought my basil and tomato plants grew fast, but these plants are out of control with growth.

    In the not to distant future, I am going to have more veggies than I know what to do with.

    Two suggestions: Plenty recipes for squash blossoms (usually stuffed & fried or grilled) on line, that’ll keep you from overdosing on the squash. And for the cucumbers, lots of YouTube videos on making pickles!

  92. 92.

    opiejeanne

    June 12, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    @Tommy: to add to Anne Laurie’s advice, pick the squash and the vines before they get too big. They taste better and you don’t have to deal with as much vegetable.

  93. 93.

    opiejeanne

    June 12, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    @redshirt: me too. A revelation.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 12, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    @BGinCHI: Congrats to her (and you).

  95. 95.

    SiubhanDuinne

    June 12, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    @Tommy:

    I can report that after a few years of some epic fails (and some successes) it appears I got it “right” this year. I’ve already got a few tomatoes and peppers appearing. Every plant flowering.

    Please please take some pictures, send them to Anne Laurie, and let her include them in an upcoming Sunday morning garden thread. I live in a rental unit and have a classic black thumb, so I don’t do garden (and almost never comment on those threads), but I love looking at other people’s veggies and flowers and planters and window boxes and whatnot. Would love to see your peppers and tomatoes.

  96. 96.

    fuckwit

    June 12, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    No fucks given.

  97. 97.

    Ruckus

    June 12, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    @Anne Laurie:
    I’ll second the squash blossom idea. Great aunt had a big garden and a green thumb. She would make the best fried zucchini blossoms but only very occasionally. Best thing I’ve ever eaten, haven’t had them for over 50 yrs, still remember the taste.

  98. 98.

    yodecat

    June 12, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    Fuck Ted C. AND the horse he rode in on.

    The man is an asshole. And if I had the misfortune to meet him, I’d tell him that to his face. I don’t care how ‘educated’ he is, I know an asshole when I see one. I’ll bet that you do as well..

    Gods. We’ve an history of goofs, assholes, liars, whores aspiring to political office… oh the list goes on. But this guy almost gets the ring. Takes the cake.

  99. 99.

    yodecat

    June 13, 2015 at 2:48 am

    Ted sucks turds. You know it Anne, I know it, the rest of us know it.

    Yeesh. (gagging sounds)

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