From the Washington Post, a review of Barton Swaim’s new book on “What it’s like to write speeches for a rude, rambling and disgraced politician“:
You don’t need to be a speechwriter to realize that the phrase “I won’t begin in any particular spot” is a wretched way to start a public address. Yet those were the opening words of one of the more remarkable political spectacles in recent years: Mark Sanford’s rambling and teary news conference of June 24, 2009, in which South Carolina’s then-governor confessed that rather than hiking the Appalachian Trail, he’d been hooking up with his Argentine mistress…
No, Swaim didn’t write that speech, but now he has authored something just as revealing and unusual: a political memoir that traffics in neither score-settling nor self-importance but that shares, in spare, delightful prose, what the author saw and learned. “The Speechwriter” feels like “Veep” meets “All the King’s Men” — an entertaining and engrossing book not just about the absurdities of working in the press shop of a Southern governor but also about the meaning of words in public life…
The term “speechwriter” is misleading. Swaim spent much time crafting news releases, penning thank-you missives, and drafting scathing statements and scathing op-eds about whatever the legislature was pushing. “We did a lot of scathing,” he recalls. He also wrote “surrogate letters,” i.e., letters to the editor ostensibly from supporters but actually written by the governor’s staff. “There was something slightly but definitely dishonest” about them, Swaim admits, but they were also an art form: Start off with some generic sass (“Which constitution is Senator So-and-so reading?”), and then make an argument that doesn’t reflect too much insight, or otherwise editors would see through the ruse….
“The Speechwriter” will become a classic on political communication because it goes beyond the contortions of public statements to explore how politicians speak to their staffers when no cameras are around. In this case, the governor demeaned and humiliated them at every turn, usually as a way of coping with anxiety or working through ideas. “Being belittled was part of the job,” explains Swaim, who often drove to work nervous to the point of vomiting, bracing for whatever mood might grip the boss. When the governor noticed that a whiteboard hadn’t been updated with his latest goals, he collapsed “into a fit of angry inarticulacy.” And in a petty breach of office etiquette, Sanford sliced off a piece of a subordinate’s birthday cake and took it into his office, before they’d even celebrated. Later, Swaim recalls, staffers sang “Happy Birthday” to their colleague while gathered around a cake with a corner missing.
It wasn’t malice. Worse, it was indifference. “The governor wasn’t trying to hurt you,” Swaim concluded. “For him to try to hurt you would have required him to acknowledge your significance.” His attitude fostered perverse camaraderie among staffers, but also undercut any loyalty. He was the same with state lawmakers. The governor barely remembered their names, and that enraged them. He didn’t care…
And, of course, the capper: “Despite impeachment calls, [Sanford] served out his second term and now represents South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District after winning a 2013 special election.” IOKIYAR uber alles!
mdblanche
Further proof that Republicans can’t even do nothing right.
Roger Moore
@mdblanche:
The Republicans would prefer to reword that as “Republicans can do nothing wrong”.
ruemara
It’s always ok if you’re a republican. Unbelievable.
boatboy_srq
@Roger Moore: … more like “… are prone to doing nothing wrong”…
Tree With Water
They really know how to pick ’em in South Carolina, and always have.
Amir Khalid
I see an irony in Mark Sanford’s obsession with having Rosa Parks mentioned in his speeches.
SWMBO
@Amir Khalid: How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better. Were you able to fast for the remainder of Ramadan or are you still under doctor’s orders to not do that?
jl
‘ rude, rambling and disgraced politician“
I saw that and thought to myself ‘ that could mean so many of them’, but ‘ Appalachian Trail ‘ was a tip off.
Why is it so difficult for the article to just say that Sanford acted like a thoughtless solipsistic childish rude narcissistic jerk? And probably is one.
KG
i kind of wish i still wrote appellate briefs, because i would most definitely find a way to use this in one.
kc
Fuck that guy, Swaim, for enabling that lousy, libertarian sociopath Mark Sanford.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
I’ve been reading the Reddit “Raised By Narcissists” message board since we’re dealing with at least one in the extended family, and hoo boy does that behavior sound familiar. Especially the birthday cake thing.
JPL
@kc: Swaim also writes oped pieces for the Weekly Standard and WSJ. I won’t buy his book.
In other SC news, it appears that Rep. Pitts is going to uphold the bill to remove the flag, as long as he can.
Mike in NC
Sanford’s a sack of shit, which means he can hold that House seat as long as he wants it.
SiubhanDuinne
@mdblanche:
For once, a most appropriate and accurately-employed double negative! Well done, sir or ma’am!
John Revolta
Meh. Sanford’s a piker. Did he ever wipe his glasses on a staffer’s shirt? That’s how you get to the big time.
Mike J
@mdblanche:
When people rail against “professional politicians” they forget that you actually need to know how the system works.
boatboy_srq
My guess is Swaim dissuaded Sanford from starting his acceptance speech with “I’d like to thank all the little people…”
It’s not really surprising, given Sanford’s attitude towards his own staff that he would be fooling around on his wife with someone outside the country and try to pass that off to the press as “hiking outside cellular service and not available for comment”. The more I read about this guy the more despicable he becomes:
Emphasis added.
Seems that Sanford treats everyone like “staff” – including his own children. Not calling on Father’s Day – when you have four children – because you’re too busy on the Appalachian Tail? Really? Wow.
Mike J
@JPL:
If I see it available for download in a place that assures he gets no money I might read it.
TheMightyTrowel
OT: got some new ink today! Still a little shakey from the endorphin come down but really pleased with the result. So much good tattoo art in Berlin!
jl
Interesting article on moving remains of Nathan Bedford Forrest and his wife, that I think reveals the very convoluted , misleading, house of mirrors, quality to a history that has been falsified and deeply corrupted for ulterior motives (edit: namely racism and reactionary oligarchical race-based rule).
My short version. the remains are being moved from a Confederate monument in a Memphis city park to Elmwood (a private cemetery). Is this PC run amok, and destruction of history and gratuitous insult to the Forrest remains? Or actually righting a wrong done 100 years ago? Turns out that the Forrests wanted to be buried in Elmwood, and the remains were disinterred and buried in the city park in the early 20th century. I explored links and could not find a reason the remains were moved from Elmwood to the park. My guess is that white Jim Crow segregationists wanted more than a monument in a city park, but some gruesome relics to go with it to make a real Confederate shrine of the thing. I am sure they persuaded themselves 100 years ago that the Forrests would approve.
Close to the Bone
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/close-to-the-bone
TPM had an interesting piece yesterday on the spread of protests over the Confederate (battle) flag (of Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia) all over the country, protesting what I am not sure, but certainly includes a lot of generic racism and xenophobia disguised as gestures of very personal concern about ‘Southern Heritage’ in WI, ID, CA and all over.
jl
@mdblanche:
‘ Further proof that Republicans can’t even do nothing right. ‘
And evidence that they cannot count to 2. No wonder they hate all that fancy egghead education stuff.
Iowa Old Lady
@kc:
No kidding. Does he expect sympathy from the voters he helped screw? Of course, the voters don’t seem to care.
What is wrong with these people?
Litlebritdifrnt
Seeing as it is an open thread we have an interesting legal thing going on in NC right now. Apparently the Feds and everyone else are beginning to enforce the SSCRA (Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act) which basically says that an active duty member cannot be sued for anything if they are not able to respond to the lawsuit. I believe that the crack down was as a result of so many active duty service members being sued for foreclosure while they were overseas. However the ramifications have now trickled down to the most mundane of cases such as divorces. Recently a NC judge was disciplined because she did not check that the order she was signing (for a divorce I believe) had been procedurally cleared by the SSCRA. Now the State has decreed that if an active duty service member is involved in a civil suit he MUST be represented by counsel, and the court MUST appoint an attorney to represent him. Guess what, there is no money allocated in the budget for paying these attorneys so basically the Judges are going to have to conscript attorneys to represent service members for free. As you can imagine, being the home of Camp Lejeune, and nearly all of the divorce cases in this county involve active duty service members, this is not going down well with the local bar association and everyone is scrambling to try and find a fix for it.
Betty Cracker
I’d really like to read that book — it sounds fascinating! But I don’t want to enrich a writer who would enable a creep like Sanford. Maybe I’ll wait for the library to get a copy…
Hungry Joe
I first heard the expression “kiss up, kick down” linked to John Bolton, but for me the concept has always been the ultimate tell: How does someone treat subordinates? (The First-Date tell is how the other person interacts with the waitstaff.) Kicking/punching down is a red flag in politics, in relationships … in life, because it assumes that someone is below you, not just in station (waitpersons are, after all, there to serve you; subordinates are indeed there to assist you) but as a human being.
I suspect it’s that old lack-of-empathy bugaboo. Yes, this woman asked me what I’d like to order, she brings me water and coffee and hot sauce upon request/demand, she’ll deliver my food and ask me if everything’s okay; that’s her role. My role is patron … but they’re only roles, for convenience, and they’re temporary. Anyone who thinks he’s in any sense better than a server or a subordinate is an asshole. Period.
Paragraph.
Post.
Jay S
I call BS on the first claim.
the Conster
@Hungry Joe:
Scott Brown is a kiss up kick down person. So is Mitt Romney. I know this from some personal anecdotes, which is not data but it is a tell. So is having a glamour shot of yourself in your office, which Scotty had several of from his modeling days. Unself-aware narcissists suck at life and politics.
SFAW
@Hungry Joe:
I don’t know, I’ve had some waitrons who have definitely been lower on the evolutionary scale. (Or would be, if “evolution” really existed. Which it doesn’t.)
No, I’m not being serious. Well, mostly not serious.
SFAW
@the Conster:
As any good Rethug can tell you, the plural of “anecdote” is “data.”
Of course, most of their anecdotes have to do with strapping young bucks with T-bones, etc.
Another Holocene Human
@Mnemosyne (tablet): His behavior at home, which came out during the divorce, I think, wasn’t much better.
Remember the whole digging holes in the lawn thing with little kids running around?
Another Holocene Human
@Mike J: Shh, you’re endangering lobbyists and staffers’ control over our laws!
Kay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
I’m surprised they weren’t enforcing Soldiers and Sailors. It’s a huge deal here. Everything grinds to an immediate halt when it’s raised. It’s not just this county either. It’s all the rural counties in the northern part of the state and that’s been true for a decade. I’ve never encountered a lawyer or judge who objects to it- it’s just a given that it stops everything while we get waivers, contact everyone, etc.
Of ALL places I would think NC would enforce.
Iowa Old Lady
@SFAW: Who all of them stood behind in line at the grocery store.
First, none of these guys does his own grocery shopping.
Second, I do grocery shop and I rarely see anyone using a “food stamps” card. The only way I know it’s that and not a credit card is that the clerk says they can’t use it to buy pepper jack cheese or something.
Another Holocene Human
@jl: There was a lot of shit like that. In fact a historian wrote a whole book about Civil War monuments and came up with terminology for memorials put up right after the war versus these obnoxious, charged statements made decades later. (And Daughters and Sons of the Confederacy were putting lost cause markers and monuments up well into the 20th century.) Very much like the movement right now to litter our landscape with stuff named after Reagan.
On the Union side, and I guess this is interesting in a way, Unionists put up their martyr Shaw, who rode a mare, on a rampant stallion right in front of the Massachusetts State House. Shaw’s family apparently was not amused. They did not feel he was the appropriate subject for a memorial. Years later, they got the memorial to the “Glory” regiment put up behind it (one of those real must-see’s in Boston). It happens to be a really good work in bas-relief. The sculptor hired a bunch of African-Americans as models to make it more life-like. That sounds really obvious but apparently it wasn’t the practice at the time!
Kay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Why don’t they just educate the judges and clerks on it? That would seem to be an easier fix. Reject the pleading unless it’s dealt with upfront, even. I’ve seen it addressed in the negative, in boilerplate from bigger firms “we attest this does not fall under the blah, blah, blah”.
Another Holocene Human
Go to Harper’s Ferry and as soon as you leave the train station and head into the town you’re greated by a giant 20th century Sons of Confederacy “historical” marker.
I’m surprised they haven’t tried to erect me-too Confederate markers in Yankeeland. Oh wait, I guess there’s Walpole. I guess hating yourself and your heritage is worth it if you stick it to “those people”. Ugh.
catclub
@the Conster:
Umm. One elected governor, one elected senator, both in a heavily Democratic state. Not my idea of fail at politics.
mai naem mobile
I remember watching Sanford pre-Appalachian hiking, he had brain freeze when he was playing advocate for McCain in ’08. I can’t remember exactly what the question was, I think financial and he pulled a Rick Perry. I hadn’t really paid attention to him. I figured he was yet another Southern douchebag GOP governor but this clip just made him look like such a lightweight. He was considered as a possible Veep by McCain. BTW, Bill Clinton and every really good politician are known for having incredible memories regarding not just peoples.names but their personal histories so Sanfords a shitty politician as well.
Cervantes
A distasteful book, written by one distasteful person about another.
At best.
Another Holocene Human
@Iowa Old Lady: I know what EBT cards look like because of my job but surprise surprise, they seem to be used to purchase this substance known as “food”.
Of course it depends on the state, some states are more restrictive than others. If you really want picayune rules then you want to talk about WIC. Way more people with EBT cards than WIC.
(And yeah, I wish people wouldn’t buy all those snack cakes and soda with EBT but you know, if you have a teenager in the house …)
catclub
@Another Holocene Human:
I would be willing to trade taking down the monuments to treason for allowing Reagan monuments.
Major Major Major Major
That last DougJ thread went nuts. Anyway, here’s some trolling.
Hillary voted for the AUMF and Iraq War, the initial USA PATRIOT Act, probably something involving financial deregulation, I don’t know. General hawkishness, empty pantsuit, literally everybody is better I guess. We all hate Hillary apparently.
Meanwhile,
O’Malley has a very questionable history with African-Americans and policing and also nobody’s going to vote for him;
Bernie Sanders has a very questionable history with African-Americans and guns, and also just with guns in general, which I thought was a core issue here;
Webb, well, let’s not waste pixels;
Joe Biden, where to begin. Tried to outlaw asymmetric encryption in the 90’s because it scared the spooks, his office wrote the first draft of what would become the USA PATRIOT Act, pro-RIAA, pro-DMCA, pro-national ID, pro-internet censorship, voted for Iraq 2 & AUMF, voted for DOMA, and on and on and on.
And yet Biden is some people’s purity pony today?
Litlebritdifrnt
@Kay:
Kay I think it was invoked when it came to foreclosures and perhaps serious PI cases and stuff but when it came to banal stuff like divorces I think it was just glossed over. There are so many Marines getting married at the Magistrates Office on a daily basis that the inevitable divorces follow. Women get married to Marines, they separate, the Marine gets orders and a year later (required separation for NC) and they have no idea where they are to serve them. They end up publishing in the Newspaper as required by law but now the Judge is required to appoint an attorney to track down the Marine to make sure he is cool with the divorce. Depending on whether or not that Marine is still on active duty that could take an inordinate amount of time for absolutely no compensation. It seems a little sad that a woman has to remain married to someone for the rest of her life because she doesn’t know where her spouse went.
ETA I am certainly not condoning the flippant way these people get married after meeting at a bar the night before, but they do it, and we have to live with the consequences.
Another Holocene Human
@catclub: Scotty boy looked like a pathetic ass debating Elizabeth Warren. Got sent home after one term and is doing what now, downline distributorships? Lol.
Mitt Romney is in office due to
the efforts of the Green Partythe South Boston Democratic Machine. Jill Stein pantsed Shannon O’Brien on a question in debate that should have been a softball for her but wasn’t because she was a knucklehead.The machine didn’t care because they found GOP governors to be useful.
Kay
@Major Major Major Major:
I don’t think Biden would be a good pick, if that helps you any :) I will be on your side.
I’m still holding a grudge over the bankruptcy “reform” fiasco and he’s been a candidate before. It’s not like he never got a shot at it.
Another Holocene Human
@Major Major Major Major: You’re right, but that’s boring. Better to accuse everyone else of bad faith for not going all in for whatever quixotic or crank candidate the poster is flogging today.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Kay:
Kay the problem is Judges being required to appoint unpaid attorneys to represent the service member.
jl
@Major Major Major Major:
I fever dreamed to myself “Are you the promised one, or shall we wait for another?’. And my political savior said “you betcha’, but that jackass LIED to me. And I am sore disappointed.
Oh the horror of having to pick from all these unpure Democratic candidates!
I can only rejoice in that fact that there will not be a critical election in less than two years and country will not be forced to make a choice between unpure Democrats and some hideous dangerous fool Republican. So we can dither and bicker away all time we want looking for a completely sinless Democrat. (/snark, in case that tag is needed)
Another Holocene Human
@catclub: Lol, as if you’ll have a choice.
A Republican congress FORCED WMATA, which has a high percentage of Black management and staff, to change all the “National Airport” signs throughout the entire system to “Ronald Reagan National Airport” at their own expense.
Never mind that Metro’s normal station names are not that long.
Never mind that the airport was actually the “George Washington National Airport” but Metro had truncated that all along.
Never mind that most of WMATA’s operators thought Reagan was an evil piece of union busting fuck when they thought about him at all.
Nope, the GOP threw a tantrum, why dang-nabbit they OWN DC, they created WMATA, and them ******s are going to do what they say, yesterday!
Another Holocene Human
@Litlebritdifrnt: Republicans love service members for their “service” until it comes time to open their wallet.
jl
@Major Major Major Major:
” And yet Biden is some people’s purity pony today? ”
On the good side, Biden did introduce more progressive economists into WH staff. I don’t know what influence they had in the VP’s office, but Biden is more progressive on domestic economics (edit:) than Obama or HRC (though HRC may be changing her tune). He claims on things like credit card regulation, bankruptcy legislation, he was not in complete control and did what he could to limit the damage. I don’t know how much to believe that.
On foreign policy, I think Biden has better knowledge and judgment than most, and willing to say what he thinks directly. He foresaw and plainly predicted fate of post-invasion Iraq, rather than playing fantasy games.
HRC, Sanders, O’Malley, Biden all vastly preferable to anything GOP will offer, so picking most electable candidate most important. I’m will try to avoid bickering and nitpicking festivals over any of them. But I am weak.
WaterGirl
@JPL: Is he going to uphold the bill to remove the flag, or hold up the bill to remove the flag?
Kay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
I do a lot of tracking down so I know what you’re saying.
Cell phones are great but landlines were a hell of a lot easier when one was trying to track down young people who move all the time. I had this hysterical thing a couple of weeks ago where I went to a residence then followed a little boy on a bike who said he knew where they were. He did, too. Took me right to them.
It’s been nice to see here because it’s teamwork- how do we notice them, can we do telephonic hearings, can their parents find them, etc. Obviously it’s still adversarial but it was nice to see broad agreement on “they’re in a unique situation so let’s be practical and figure out how to make it work fairly for them”.
Major Major Major Major
@jl: Oh there’s good stuff about all the candidates, I just wanted to list the negatives I could think of off the top of my head. Exaggerated Hill’s of course.
Seriously, Biden has some shady stuff. Good stuff too of course. The reflexive Hillary-hate just drives me nuts.
lol
@Major Major Major Major:
Remember when the Professional Left went nuts for Dodd in 2008?
SiubhanDuinne
@Another Holocene Human:
No! Do tell.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Litlebritdifrnt:
This probably just shows my naïveté when it comes to the military, but shouldn’t the Department of Defense know where people are when they’re on active duty? It seems like your state attorney’s office needs to get the DoD involved.
catclub
@Another Holocene Human:
and so would 99.99% of the rest of the population. I still think your example of failure is more successful than 99.99% of the population.
More successful than 99.9% of politicians.
Tree With Water
@Another Holocene Human: I was like a pig in mud at Harpers Ferry, and in mind’s eye it remains one of the most beautiful spots on earth I ever expect to see. It was both there and at Monticello (while admiring the view of the Blue Ridge range) that I better understood why ante-bellum Virginians thought themselves a sovereign state, especially in light of the era’s communication infrastructure.
Kay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
I know but that seems like a crazy fix. It seems like over-kill. They can’t do it anyway. As far as I know they can’t mandate that people work without paying them. They can just put the burden on the moving party to jump over soldiers and sailors or it grinds to a halt. They’ll figure out how to comply with it or they won’t get a hearing. It’s like the judges are just washing their hands of their role in this. I think it will go better if they ask for cooperation rather than putting in things that are unworkable.
SFAW
@efgoldman:
Deer? A doe – a female deer.
In other words: not a buck, wise guy.
Which will bring us back to doe, doe, doe, doe …
Major Major Major Major
@SFAW: Nope, they were bucks.
SWMBO
@Betty Cracker: Have you seen this?
http://www.budget101.com/showthread.php?t=724561&p=818238#post818238
SiubhanDuinne
@mai naem mobile:
And yet.
Kay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Honestly, too, Littlebrit, that isn’t what judges will do. Judges will take their indigent funds and redirect some of it to counsel for servicemembers until someone comes to their senses and figures out a less ridiculous fix to the problem. I just don’t see “mandatory unpaid work” flying. They’re lawyers. They’ll object :)
Tree With Water
TPM.com is reporting:
“..I declined to marry a non-traditional couple during my duties assignment,” McConnell said in a statement. “The declination was based upon my personal and Christian beliefs established over many years. I apologize to the couple for the delay they experienced and wish them the best.”
The judge also said he’s asked the Ohio Supreme Court whether he can opt out of the rotation to avoid violating his religious beliefs..”.
Remember that scene in LA Confidential in which Russell Crowe beats the snot out of the DA, and then tells him his replacement might not arrive by bus, but they were lined up to take his job?
Betty Cracker
@SWMBO: I had not seen it — but that’s a damn good idea. We haven’t found a chicken feeder we’re happy with yet. It would be nice if each hen had her own tube; it might cut down on some of the bullying that occurs around the common feeder (but probably not!). Thanks for passing it along!
SFAW
@catclub:
I think you may be misunderstanding Holocene: it was not that Elizabeth Warren had a better command of the facts; that’s to be expected. It was that Scotty was an insufferable prick/dickhead, being condescending toward Warren, repeatedly sneering “Professor Warren,” as if debating a highly intelligent, policy-wonkish, academic and liberal was beneath him, or that she should be ridiculed for her background and experience.
Although, in fairness to Scotty, he didn’t do the Tomahawk Chop or do (what eight-year-old white boys used to think of as) an Indian war whoop during the debate, so he’s not quite at Trump-like levels of dickishness.
kc
@boatboy_srq:
Don’t forget the part where Sanford violated a restraining order and snuck into his ex-wife’s house while she was away.
Betty Cracker
Open thread — The Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ second string CB blew two of his fingers off in a 4th of July fireworks mishap. Dayum!
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
And wonderful music it is. I was so pleased, during my New England trip last year, to kind of just happen upon the Housatonick at Stockbridge (very close to where my friends in Westerns Mass live). Very pretty area.
SFAW
@Major Major Major Major:
My way works better.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
<3
kc
@Major Major Major Major:
By the Obots, yes, because he’s perceived as being personally loyal to Obama which is more important than his stance on issues like financial regulation, war without end, etc.
Major Major Major Major
@kc: Hell, I’m an Obot but I can still count to 20 with my shoes on.
Sorry, that thread was really frustrating, not sure why I read it lol
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@SiubhanDuinne:
I must confess, my iPhone autocorrected it and added the diacritics for me.
Major Major Major Major
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): I miss my Macbook, I used to know all the shortcuts for those. I *do* know the keyboard shortcut for switching to a German keyboard on the new Linux box though, so I can at least umlaut with the best of them (even if I get my y’s and z’s switched all the time).
Tree With Water
@Betty Cracker: The good news being he didn’t try to fire any off the top of his head…
Betty Cracker
@Tree With Water: Well, several of the teams’ receivers have no hands at all. But that was metaphorical!
Amir Khalid
@SWMBO:
Saw your reply late, sorry. I’m still under orders not to fast. Slowly recovering my strength.
SWMBO
@Amir Khalid: Good health to you then. It’s about the only thing I can do half a world away.
Bill Arnold
If you’re easily amused, Molly Crabapple’s The New York Stock Exchange goes down: inside the dystopian aftermath
(The Guardian) reads like a pastiche of Stanislaw Lem (Futurological Congress).
Emily68
@Mike J@JPL:
If I see it available for download in a place that assures he gets no money I might read it.
:
That place is called the public library.
Ian
@jl: Because the author worked for Sanford. The parts where he’s trying to convince himself it’s cool that he tried to make someone he knew was an awful human being Vice President are the most interesting bits, really.