Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“But what about the lurkers?”

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

So fucking stupid, and still doing a tremendous amount of damage.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

I really should read my own blog.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

White supremacy is terrorism.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

The world has changed, and neither one recognizes it.

The willow is too close to the house.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

We still have time to mess this up!

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

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Site Maintenance

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Thanks to all of you who donated, we are having a professional team put together a new rebuild. Mistermix is serving as the translator/go between as I am a moron when it comes to these things, and next Friday the front pagers are going to have a preview. I’m actually kind of excited, where with previous builds I’ve always had a “This is going to suck” attitude.

Also, I found Thurston’s secret stash of shit behind a couch in my office. Two destroyed vacuum cleaner extensions, one destroyed vacuum cleaner brush, six actual chew toys, two slippers (one left leather slipper, one right Steeler slipper), a soda can, a set of old earphones, one object I can’t determine what it was but I think it might have been a toy, an alumni magazine, an empty dishsoap dispenser, a used coffee filter, one pint ice cream can, two milk jug lids, a dirty wool sock, one pair boxers and a bunch of other crap.

I will never have another puppy again. Nothing but 4-5 year old dogs from here on out.

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  5. 5.

    SoupCatcher

    Also, I found Thurston’s secret stash of shit behind a couch in my office.

    I initially read that a lot more literally.

  6. 6.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    Ah, it’s not just a puppy thing. My 7yo(at the time) YorkiPom would steal my used underwear and stored it under an old rocking chair.

  7. 7.

    bemused

    Wow, we’ve had 6 previous dogs and 2 current dogs. I thought they were challenges in their puppy days but we never experienced anything even close to this type of chewing machine. We got off easy.

  8. 8.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    Puppies are hideous. We’re still finding chewed up shit 10 years later.

  9. 9.

    Anne Laurie

    Thanks, John. I’m not sure whether to be pleased or terrified, but conning MisterMix into serving as our Speaker-to-Developers makes me much more sanguine about the whole process!

  10. 10.

    cckids

    @SoupCatcher: Me too :)

    I thought maybe Thurston was having some puppy/teen rebellion issues, “you can’t tell ME where to poop!”

    Glad it was just a cache of stuff. Six months after we rescued our Pom, we found a stash of close to 20 dirty socks under a bed.

  11. 11.

    benw

    …behind a couch in my office.

    How many couches do you have in your office? My most exciting puppy adventure was when he ate a box of my kids’ Crayola crayons and pooped rainbow turds for a couple of days. Sounds like I got off easy.

  14. 14.

    shell

    Also, I found Thurston’s secret stash of shit behind a couch in my office.

    Yeah, I too thought Thurston was putting in his own private bathroom. Chewed vacuum cleaner extensions at least dont stain.
    ********
    And just remember, puppy behavior doesnt suddenly stop when they hit the one year old mark and look full grown.

  15. 15.

    JPL

    I have a few chunks taken out of an oriental rug. When I first discovered it, I turned it around and put the edge under the sofa.

  19. 19.

    Schlemazel

    @Mike J: Just out of curiosity, what do you consider broken on the site that you want to fix?

    Mostly the commenters is my guess.

  23. 23.

    Another Holocene Human

    @SoupCatcher: When we were helping a friend move a decade ago, we discovered that her newest cat had a secret stache of shit in a closet. Cat shit.

    Good times.

  25. 25.

    Schlemazel

    @Mike J: RtR could be replaced with a monkey and a football, it would be a lot more entertaining while being equally enlightening.

  26. 26.

    BubbaDave

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    My cat Barnabas chews on socks, iDevice charging cables, wire shelving, pencils… He’s 16 months old, big ol’ cat body with a little kitten pea brain. Fortunately he is handsome and charming and affectionate, which is why I don’t have a very small tiger skin rug. Yet. :-)

  31. 31.

    Gene108

    Bah…I went to Cary to visit my mom over he weekend..

    NCSU is opening its football season today. I figured the game would be televised locally. Yeah, it’s against the Troy Trojans, but people here would want to see it.

    It is apparently on ESPN 3 and I do not feel like watching it on my phone.

  33. 33.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    When we got our dog Geezer I was prepared for everything below knee level in the whole house to be masticated or saturated in whiz. He wrecked one cheap slipper and immediately learned that using the litter box meant bribes. I was pleased and surprised.
    But he has plenty of personality ‘quirks’. Like at the moment he’s sulking under my desk because his arch enemy Sonny the parrot has come home.

  34. 34.

    Mary G

    I am still thinking about getting a dog, but more than ever sure it must be a senior; maybe even tooth-challenged.

  35. 35.

    MomSense

    We cannot change any channels and the kids cannot play any kind of video games. The dog has eaten all the remotes and controllers. She has also eaten several pairs of sunglasses and reading glasses, shoes, socks, underwear, a couch and two walls. I know I’m forgetting some things.

  36. 36.

    Betty Cracker

    Did anyone read “Edgar Sawtelle”? I often wish it was really possible to acquire a Sawtelle dog. That said, we’ve been lucky with the three pups we’ve raised so far. There were a few mishaps, but nothing truly disastrous. Boxers aren’t hoarders.

  38. 38.

    lamh36

    Oh please…you love that dog. If he ever had puppies that looked just like him, you loved those puppies too.

    You’re a big ole softie when it comes to ur pets.

  39. 39.

    dexwood

    Our PBGV loves to arrange all the toys in a circle around him on the floor. He gathers them up from the toy box and all the places in the house where they might be found. We adopted him from a program in a women’s prison. He came to us at 18 months old, AKC certified trained.

  42. 42.

    Anne Laurie

    Since Thurston’s a hoarder, you might want to pick out a “toy box” and teach him to “put away his toys” on command. Once he gets the idea that he’ll be rewarded (praised) for doing something he’s inclined to do anyway, you can use it as a distraction, a way to get some quiet when he’s driving you or the other pets crazy, and a way to burn off some energy (“Where’s your toys? Time to put away the toys… You missed a toy! Where’s froggy/red ball/ kong / squeaky?…”)

    Not all dogs are interested in this game, but my dog guru was a border collie / Aussie / sheltie rescuer (who inherited a poodle-cocker-schnauzer cross) and her guys genuinely loved the Toy Box Roundup. They’d race around hunting stray chewies and lost socks from every corner, competing to be the best at tidying up.

    This may be a hobby Thurston’s active imagination and your Germanic tidiness can share…

  46. 46.

    Anne Laurie

    @shell:

    And just remember, puppy behavior doesnt suddenly stop when they hit the one year old mark and look full grown.

    The trainer in the first obedience class I took said “Remember, dogs’ brains won’t arrive from Fedex until sometime after their second birthday.”

    For smart dogs, it really can seem like an overnight process — one day he’s a nutso puppy, then suddenly he GETS IT. (Although one must always allow for the occasional relapse.)

  48. 48.

    Ruckus

    @Another Holocene Human:
    Had a friend who installed carpet. Which includes taking out the old. He would ask if there was a cat in the house and if so where it was pissing on the carpet. 100% of the time it was, My cat doesn’t do that and 100% of the time when he took up the old carpet he would show them exactly where the cat had peed.

  51. 51.

    Felonius Monk

    @Anne Laurie:

    and teach him to “put away his toys” on command.

    HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA. I believe young Thurston has already dropped(flunked?) out of obedience school, so teaching him anything may be a tough row to hoe.

  52. 52.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Anne Laurie:

    “4 concussions, 1 broken leg, 2 broken arms, 1 dislocated shoulder, and several broken ribs a pure-bred Guernsey cow. That’s one hell of a pillow fight. #USMA19,” one freshman posted on Twitter, echoing many who seemed to see the injuries as a point of pride.

  55. 55.

    Anne Laurie

    @Felonius Monk: Cole flunked, not Thurston. And the secret to “animal training” is to find a behavior that your subject wants to do (like Thurston wants to hoard), then introducing a ‘cue’ that he can associate with his impulse.

    Teaching Thurston (what) not to chew, that is gonna be a long & aggravating project, for both parties.

  56. 56.

    Felonius Monk

    @Anne Laurie: I’m sure that Thurston is capable of learning correct behavior, the real question is whether his master has the patience and fortitude to see it through. :)

  58. 58.

    OldDave

    @dexwood:

    Our PBGV loves to arrange all the toys in a circle around him on the floor.

    SWMBO may arrive here later to tell about one of our doxies, who happily opened up a five pound bag of red potatoes and arranged them – all of them – in a fairy ring around herself. The little girl was so proud of her craft work.

  60. 60.

    SWMBO

    @OldDave: The dog’s name is Pixie. Yes she made her own little fairy ring. She also had anxiety attacks when the old dog died. She chewed up cpap masks, shoes, fan cords (with the fan running) and other stuff. She stopped when we got the pups. They picked up the slack but she settled down when she had a “pack” again. She really didn’t like being an only dog. The pups have slowed down in their chewing and generally confine themselves to rawhides and stuff pulled out of the trash. Crate training saves lives.

  62. 62.

    JohnK

    What, were you walking around with mismatched slippers? You should be thankful you have matching slippers again thanks to your puppy for picking up some of the shit laying around. Pay attention, and maybe you should put things away when yur done with them so your puppy doesn’t have to go around all the time picking up after your big sloppy butt. Poor puppy.

  63. 63.

    JimV

    I liked the novel about the Sawtelle dogs, although the ending was a downer. It seemed somewhat feasible to me – breeding dogs to be even smarter and more trainable. Why not, they’ve already been breed to be much more human-centric than wolves, and foxes have been breed to be dog-like. It would probably just take a few (human) generations of obsessive dog breeders. At some point the issue of the morality of eugenics arises, though.

  64. 64.

    Aleta

    @OldDave: When the dog first began delving into the kitchen trash (not until many months after moving here), he would carefully take each piece out and lay them neatly and equidistantly spaced on the floor around the wastebasket until completely empty. Only then would he make one selection are carry it gently through two rooms to the front door rug. Then (if he hadn’t been discovered) go back and select another piece. This took him so long that he never got around to savoring anything into shreds before discovery.

    Now sometimes I give him an organic egg carton to carry off, sometimes with kibble inside for a puzzle. Lately, I buy green beans at the farmers market and give him one at a time to carry off. He looks funny with most of the bean hanging out of his mouth like a drooping cigarette. He likes to go somewhere he can fully concentrate on the delicacy.

  70. 70.

    Aleta

    @dp: Though not as destructive as some 20+ year old West Point plebes and others similarly waiting on their brains to integrate.

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