Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

“Joe Biden deserved better than he got from some folks in his own party.”

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

In after Baud. Damn.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

A norm that restrains only one side really isn’t a norm – it’s a trap.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

The willow is too close to the house.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Second rate reporter says what?

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

So many bastards, so little time.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

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158Comments

  3. 3.

    WaterGirl

    I don’t know why, but this latest stunt – getting out of jail on the condition that she won’t interfere with marriage licenses and then her lawyers immediately declaring that she won’t issue them – leaves me so mad I could spit.

    Kim Davis for VP on the republican ticket?

  6. 6.

    WaterGirl

    Do we know who the creepy person on the right is? I tried to click the link but something autoplayed so I immediately closed the window, as I always do.

  9. 9.

    boatboy_srq

    @WaterGirl: I think that’s the suitor that Davis refused to marry to Ted Cruz. Hence the smiles – not of joy, but of relief – on every face. Not, mind you, that there’s any reason to believe that any LGBTQI person of sound mind and in possession of his/her/their faculties would have to marry Ted Cruz in the first place…

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    @WaterGirl:
    If his name wasn’t Cleetus before, it sure the hell is now.

    Also, too, believe the correct wording for that sign is “Join and die.”

  14. 14.

    VidaLoca

    @WaterGirl:

    getting out of jail on the condition that she won’t interfere with marriage licenses and then her lawyers immediately declaring that she won’t issue them…

    Here’s where the grift begins — she is not required to issue the licenses as long as she does not prevent her staff from doing so. Instead she can claim her 15 minutes of fame, traveling the country while declaiming that she stood up for her principles and her faith. If she interferes with her staff though I would think she’ll soon be on her way back to the pokey.

  15. 15.

    Chris

    I have to say, while there is a lot of the country that’s still on my bucket list in both blue and red America, I really won’t be fussed if I never set foot in Texas.

  17. 17.

    scav

    She’s setting herself up as one fine poster-child for the full-frontal view of modern xianity: ready to lie, cheat, ignore the rules and go to the mat in order to be mean to people, all the while whining about being oppressed and victemized. And the acolytes are flocking to her, hoping for the saint’s touch and carrying home little relics. Selfies such as the above instead of the more laborious portraits where people situated themselves surrounded by their favorite saints and the O! so virgin Mary. (she’s even wearing blue next to the cornfed Joseph).

  18. 18.

    kindness

    Oh! Cruz. I was wondering why you were slamming Texas (as if there aren’t enough good reasons to do so).

  19. 19.

    Belafon

    Speaking as a Texan, I have no clue who the person on the right is, and I told everyone to vote against the person on the left. I even wrote an LOE to the Dallas Morning news warning people about him.

  22. 22.

    Origuy

    OT, but Texas: Harry Reid disses Dick Cheney:

    “I’m sorry, I cannot hold back a smile,” Reid said just hours after Cheney delivered a stinging rebuke of the deal. “There are a lot of good reasons for this deal. But the best deal is that Cheney’s against it. I mean, think about this: The architect of the worst foreign policy decision in the history of America – to invade Iraq. Look what it has done. Why would anyone with any degree on intelligence agree with him?”

  25. 25.

    SFAW

    @Calouste:

    So Huck is now consorting with known lawbreakers (more or less)? Some enterprising journalist (as opposed to MSM steno) should check into Huck’s past, see if he’s been making it a habit to be a groupie for criminals.

    And Cleetus on the right of the photo – who I expect is husband number 2 4 – ought to learn some manners. Take your fucking hayseed hat off inside the building, asshole. (Of course, maybe he’s an orthodox Jew, and that’s his idea of a yarmulke.)

    Those treasonous assholes can’t go join ISIS soon enough. You, too, Huck, you evil prick.

  28. 28.

    Calouste

    @VidaLoca: He is not an improvement over husband #2. He’s not worse either. He is the same. The same person.

    And… if I have followed things correctly, while husband #2 he adopted the children of Kim Davis sired by husband #3 while she was still married to husband #1.

  29. 29.

    trollhattan

    @VidaLoca:
    Trying to keep my Legends of Kim straight [ahem] isn’t #4 also #2 redux? She did do-overs with one of them there menfolk.

  33. 33.

    thefax

    Please please please someone get gay married next time she’s in the office. Bring a camera and snacks.

  34. 34.

    Patricia Kayden

    @WaterGirl: Judge Bunning is kind enough to let Ms. Davis out of jail on the condition that she does not interfere with the issuance of marriage licenses but she’s already promising to do that. What’s the sense of letting her out when she’s still defiant? Leave her in jail — even if indefinitely. Ms. Davis is a lawbreaker and delusional enough to believe that she’s doing this all for Jesus.

  37. 37.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    Um, Willie Nelson lives (at least half-the-year) in Texas.

    From the abomination of a CNN story in the OP:

    “If somebody needs to go to jail, I’m willing to go in her place,” Huckabee told the crowd as he comforted an emotional Davis, who entered to the song, “Eye of the Tiger.”

    The Republican presidential candidate, who has the support of some Christian supporters but is not seen as a top-tier contender, managed to break into the political spotlight Tuesday. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz had also traveled to Kentucky to meet with Davis, but he was not a part of the pro-Davis rally that appeared on live cable television.

    He has the support of some supporters? Really?

    Not seen by whom?

    Managed to break into the spotlight? What spotlight? Who was shining it on him? CNN, perhaps?

    “Praise God that Kim Davis is being released,” Cruz posted on his Facebook page. “It was an outrage that she was imprisoned for six days for living according to her Christian faith.”

    Four-time-married Kim Davis has such strong feelings about the sanctity of marriage. (roll-eyes)

    RELATED: Judge orders Kim Davis released, bars her from withholding marriage licenses

    Huckabee and Cruz — both courting the GOP’s base of social conservatives — have latched onto Davis as a symbol of the fight against government over reach after the Supreme Court’s decision on gay marriage. Huckabee was planning to follow up his visit with a rally protesting her confinement, while Cruz originally had been scheduled to take questions from reporters on the ground.

    Latched onto? Are they Cymothoa exigua?

    Their visit has drawn criticism from some of their rivals for the Republican presidential nomination.

    “Frankly, I don’t think you should grandstand on this stuff,” New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said on “Fox and Friends” Tuesday morning, referring to 2016 candidates planning to visit Davis.

    Is Christie seen as a “top-tier contender”?

    Why does “Fox and Friends” get a plug?

    “Look, everybody is entitled to their opinions, and I love Mike Huckabee and what he stands for. But I just think there’s bigger fish to fry here in terms of people understanding what faith in God really means,” Ohio Gov. John Kasich told reporters in Maine on Tuesday. “I don’t agree with Court’s decision but I had said I was going to accept the court’s decision.”

    Is Kasich “seen as a top-tier contender”?

    Why didn’t Kasich’s remarks get more than “told reporters”? How are readers supposed to get more context about what he did or didn’t say?

    Strickland and Hillary should file that Kasich quote away. It’ll come in handy.

    That story reads to me as if it were computer generated. It’s got examples of the worst characteristics of less-than-informative reporting, and CNN should be ashamed for publishing it.

    (sigh)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  39. 39.

    Calouste

    @SFAW: Huckabee is a groupie for criminals and people skirting the law as long as they are of the right faith. Cop killer Maurice Clemons, sister abuser Josh Duggar, child abuse enabler Justin Harris, pedophile Ted Nugent…

  41. 41.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I think Cole is just trying to bring Corner Stone back with that title.

    Also, those get ups? Is this all some kind of elaborate spoof?

  43. 43.

    eric

    two words: Joe Manchin. glass houses and all that.

    Admittedly Texas has way more, so on that front Texas wins the Asshole Derby.

  47. 47.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: But I just think there’s bigger fish to fry here in terms of people understanding what faith in God really means,” Ohio Gov. John Kasich told reporters in Maine

    Huh. And here I’d thought we were talking about the Constitution and the rule of law. I guess Kasich is running for… Bapti-Pope? Evangi-Patriarch?

  52. 52.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Arclite: Or, #s 2 and 4, as I like to think of him. The man who, during his tenure as husband #2, adopted the biological twins of husband #3.

  54. 54.

    Archon

    I’m still not sure if Ted Cruz is simply another conservative grifter using a Presidential run to get rich or if he really is a true believer.

  55. 55.

    Mandalay

    @trollhattan: It was such a bizarre offer to make. Why say “If somebody needs to go to jail, I’m willing to go in her place” after she had just been released? I’m sure he was trying to appear noble and heroic, but it didn’t make any sense at all.

  56. 56.

    Punchy

    @bemused: 100%. Anyone ballsy/stupid enough to defy a federal judge the 1st time will CERTAINLY do it ASAP. Im guessing tomorrow morning. She’ll be re-arrested and the dingo-and-ass show starts all over again.

  57. 57.

    Kay

    Huckabee:

    I am ready to spend the next 8 years leading this country; I am ready to spend the next 8 years in jail.”

    I actually think he will end up in jail because he’s a lying, corrupt grifter who is making tons of money for the first time in his life so I’m taking this announcement as a good sign.

  60. 60.

    Calouste

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Kasich has been going on quite a bit about his god while trying to pretend he is somewhat of a moderate. I think there will be a major oopsie coming sometime soon that will either blow the moderate cover or completely alienate him from the biblehumpers (who prefer Carson and Huckabee anyway).

  62. 62.

    Tractarian

    Fuck all of you in that rotten shithole

    All of us? Even the 40% who reliably vote Democratic?

    Well, in that case, fuck you too!

  63. 63.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @SFAW: rofl.

    He looks to me like someone gave him a shiner in his left eye, but maybe it’s just the horrible lighting. Given her horrible reputation for bullying and terrorizing her staff, I wouldn’t be surprised though… :-/

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  65. 65.

    SFAW

    @Mike J:

    I’ll bet the judge has the warrant written and sitting on his desk, awaiting a signature.

    And practicing some variant of Samuel L. Jackson’s “Say ‘what’ again, motherfucker!”

  66. 66.

    Calouste

    @Kay: Someone should explain to Huckabee that you can only be President for the next 8 years and be in jail for the next 8 years if you’re Zaphod Beeblebrox. And while people regularly look at Huckabee as if he has two heads because of the insane shit he says, that’s as far as the comparison goes.

  68. 68.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    This guy cracks me up

    Richard M. Nixon ‏@ dick_nixon 1h1 hour ago
    Huckabee is no different than the faith healer who pitches his tent in the field and sees God in your daughter.

  73. 73.

    catclub

    @eric: Here is a quote from TPM that makes me doubt the reporter knows anything about anything:

    As the day began Tuesday Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia announced his opposition to the deal, a surprise “no” vote from a moderate Democrat who had sounded like he favored the pact aimed at curbing Iran’s nuclear ambitions.

    It was also reported elsewhere that the three who said yes were first. Now I wonder if the TPM reporter got that wrong, too.

  74. 74.

    bemused

    @Punchy:

    I think so too.

    Did I hear right? People can’t volunteer to stand in for someone else’s jail sentence. I’ve never heard of such a thing. I’ve been trying to avoid as much of the loony tune Davis show so maybe I missed something.

  77. 77.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @catclub: I think that’s an AP story reposted by TPM. I always look for the AP byline and wonder if the reporter was hired/mentored by Fournier, as in “moderate Democrat Joe Manchin”

    In the mean time, the enemy of my enemy (and of general dignity) can sometimes make me laugh

    Donald J. TrumpVerified account
    ‏@ realDonaldTrump
    Jeb’s policies in Florida helped lead to its almost total collapse. Right after he left he went to work for Lehman Brothers—wow!

    Wow indeed. Now the Village might notice.

  81. 81.

    drkrick

    @SFAW:

    I thought he resembled Super Dave Osborne. Too bad he isn’t a successful stuntman like Super Dave.

    An unsuccessful stuntman would be better, i think.

  83. 83.

    catclub

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Meanwhile, on reporting on Katrina +10, it was noted that Jeb Bush saved the 2004 election for his brother, by responding so well to the string of Hurricanes that hit Florida that year, and making sure that FEMA was nowhere in sight.

    Thanks on the AP tip. Erica Werner is AP not TPM reporter.

  84. 84.

    Full metal Wingnut

    @trollhattan: I don’t know if it’s this so much as the dentist news has staled. Granted, I think what he did is disgusting, but the outrage petered out and the Village Idiots moved onto Trump’s latest racist/misogynistic comments or Kim Kardashian’s new outfit.

    Lesson for the average joe caught in a media maelstrom-you’ll want to kill yourself but have faith in how bugfuck crazy this country is. In a few days there’ll be someone like Kim Davis or another shooting, or some more Trump bullshit and everyone will forget about you. You’ll be out of the spotlight as fast as you came in.

    I actually think the dentist was announcing some visit to Africa or something to try to rehabilitate his image. But just goes to show no one cares anymore.

  85. 85.

    benw

    @Patricia Kayden:

    What’s the sense of letting her out when she’s still defiant?

    Her attitude doesn’t matter. If I understand, she made it clear to the judge that a fine would not compel her to issue licenses, so jail was necessary to remove her and compel her staff to issue them. Once she made this deal not to interfere, licenses could still be issued, so she could walk. The judge is being humane by requiring the least amount of jail time possible to get the licenses issued. I think that’s the right call, and whatever she or her attys defiantly bleat out about victory and freedom and gays, remember that she caved and cut a deal.

    Of course, she’s still getting them big fat checks. If I were a hardworking, self-made American who pulled myself up by by bootstraps in KY, I’d be pretty pissed at she was still getting her share of my tax cheddar. Of course, most of them aren’t because as we’ve learned, it’s okay for even a presidential candidate (or two) to make it clear that the tears of the baby Jesus beat all.

  86. 86.

    Jeffro

    @Gimlet: Oh no…that “snake” is most certainly in the picture on purpose.

    Wait…unless you meant Cruz and not the one on the wall?

  88. 88.

    Kay

    @Calouste:

    I feel like I know how this grifting career ends for him :)

    He’s greedy.

    Mike Huckabee, who left Arkansas, where he built the platform for his media success and which, incidentally, has an income tax, is putting down expensive roots in a beach development in Walton County, Fla., east of Destin — a $3 million home. David Koon reports:
    Paperwork filed in Walton County, Fla. shows that Huckabee and wife Janet are building a new multi-million dollar home on Blue Mountain Beach. The building permit for the three-story beachfront house lists the projected cost of construction at $2.2 million. This is in addition to the cost of the land, which Walton County most recently appraised at $853,062. The land was purchased for $800,000 in 2009 by the Angus B. Wiles Trust. The trustee is Bryan Jeffrey, a Little Rock accountant who handles Huckabee’s accounting matters. A Florida official said records indicate Huckabee is the owner of the trust. Trusts are frequently established in Florida as a means of shielding the identity of property owners from easy Internet searches. County records for the trust show an $800,000 mortgage with Centennial Bank filed Nov. 20, 2009, and a $2.25 million mortgage with Centennial filed June 23. The documents indicate the first mortgage, with $550,000 still outstanding, was incorporated in a second mortgage agreement for a total debt to Centennial of $2.8 million. The records also indicate a pool or spa is in the works.

  89. 89.

    MattF

    IANAL, but from what I’ve read, there’s a distinction between a judge using contempt to punish someone and, in contrast, using contempt to compel some action. It looks like the judge is (was) trying to compel rather than punish Davis. That means 1) Huck’s offer to go to jail in her place is completely crazy and irrelevant, rather than just sorta crazy and 2) as long as same-sex couples can get married, Davis can stay out of jail.

  90. 90.

    Geoduck

    @Calouste: In one of Terry Prachett’s Discworld novels, the Disc’s Australian counterpart tosses their current ruler in jail as soon as he comes to power, and he serves his term from a prison cell, on the theory that it saves a lot of time and trouble.

  93. 93.

    bystander

    Cletus needs somebody to show him how the highlighter works. He’s made himself look like John Candy in “Spaceballs”.

  96. 96.

    Davebo

    I’m not sure people in West Virginia, or Kentucky for that matter, should be tossing stones there Cole.

    While Texas certainly has it’s cross to bear I don’t think you can blame us for Davis’ release just because one of our assholes showed up for a photo op.

  97. 97.

    Kay

    @MattF:

    I think it’s a horrible idea for a public official though. They really can’t pick and choose the people they’ll serve.This religious exemption they’re claiming is not going to work. It’s endless- anyone can use it at any time, for anything. I can easily imagine it applied to a divorce or a property transfer or an adoption or any number of state functions.

    What she’s really relying on here is that not everyone will do what she’s doing. I think about the Amish who couldn’t align their religious beliefs with the modern world so took the full brunt of that themselves and withdrew completely. They didn’t ask everyone else to exempt them from the parts of the modern world they find objectionable, while insisting on a right to the parts they might enjoy or benefit from. She can’t have this both ways.

  98. 98.

    yodecat

    Fuck you, John. Having grown up in Central Texas – Austin – and spent most of the rest of my life in Dallas, I’m here to tell you that you are talkin’ out your ass. Some of the most beautiful country in America!

    But if you were talking about Texas politicians I must agree with you and I take part of my previous comment back.

  99. 99.

    Betty Cracker

    @Tractarian: I feel your pain. (#NotAllFloridians)

    @benw:

    If I were a hardworking, self-made American who pulled myself up by by bootstraps in KY, I’d be pretty pissed at she was still getting her share of my tax cheddar.

    The governor of KY emphasized that angle in his comments today, and I think that’s smart. He mentioned the amount, $80K, which is a pretty sweet salary, particularly in KY, and he reminded people that she campaigned for the office and agreed to perform the duties as defined by law.

    Another thing that should be mentioned at every opportunity is that all the deputy clerks are in compliance with the law and performing their duties except for Davis’ loafing son, whom Davis totally hired on his merits and not due to nepotism or something. And also the fact that Davis’ mother hired Davis in the first place so she could ascend to her rightful perch in the family fiefdom. They are small-fry grifters being used and manipulated by big time grifters (the law firm and Huckabee), and that cannot be emphasized enough.

  100. 100.

    Peale

    @Mandalay: Since the principal of serving jail time for someone else isn’t exactly recognized in our legal system, it’s a safe thing to offer. He’ll just have to commit his own contempt.

    Honestly, I think he’s going for the voters who cast vote on how closely their candidates act like characters from the Hunger Games. The youth vote, for sure. Wait til you see Carson chime in that he’s team Jacob and lifts up his shirt to show us his chiseled six pack, although we have to wait until the debate turns to Common Core before that happens.

  102. 102.

    Linnaeus

    @Davebo:

    I’m not sure people in West Virginia, or Kentucky for that matter, should be tossing stones there Cole.

    I’ll go even further: no one anywhere in the country should throw stones the way John did. You can find something to ridicule just about everywhere.

  103. 103.

    Tom

    @Chris: I’m pretty torn about that myself. My sister lives in Austin and I wanted to go visit her sometime. However, Texas sounds more and more like a third-world hell-hole.

  105. 105.

    DanR2

    That photo is the Religious Nutjob version of Grant Wood’s American Gothic painting. Needs a pitchfork, but the snake makes up for it.

  106. 106.

    burnspbesq

    @Patricia Kayden:

    What’s the sense of letting her out when she’s still defiant?

    If he finds her in contempt again and throws her back in the pokey, the 180-day clock starts over? That’s the best I have.

    It also gives here a chance to wrongfully dismiss deputies who want to issue licenses in the manner required by law, setting the county up for a big damage award, but I doubt that enters into Judge Bunning’s calculus.

  109. 109.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @SFAW: SuperDave is Albert Brooks’ brother, is that right? and their real name is Einstein? (I googled, and that is true).

    @A Ghost to Most: Someday I’d like to tour the Texas Hill Country, it’s not at the top of my list, but if any obligations ever draw me that way, I may take a couple of days.

  110. 110.

    Percysowner

    I find it deeply amusing that for the press conference one of Huckabee’s men physically body blocked Cruz to keep him out of the first pictures.

    When Senator Cruz exited the jail a throng of journalists beckoned him toward their microphones, but an aide to Mr. Huckabee blocked the path of Mr. Cruz, who appeared incredulous.

    Moments later, Mr. Huckabee appeared, joined by Ms. Davis. He stuck close to her side as she approached the reporters, and again when she took the stage, and cast her fight as a choice of tyranny or religious freedom.

  112. 112.

    Wally Ballou

    One of my all-time favorite MST3K riffs (during The Truck Farmer short):

    Narrator: “Here in southern Texas, there is an additional problem.”

    Crow T. Robot: “Texans.”

  113. 113.

    shell

    her lawyers immediately declaring that she won’t issue them –

    Surprise, surprise.

    So whats the big deal. She violates the judges order again, and he bounces her ass back in jail. And he’s not likely to be lenient again. Dont embarrass a judge.

  114. 114.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Cole, @CONGRATULATIONS!, et al.:

    Fuck all y’all, we gave you LBJ (and Ladybird), Anne Richards, Barbara Jordan, Molly Ivins, Bill Moyers, Dan Rather, Chester Nimitz, Willie Nelson, Janis Joplin, Doug Sahm, and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

    At worst we’re even.

  116. 116.

    shell

    P eople can’t volunteer to stand in for someone else’s jail sentence. I

    Well, if this was one of the Hunger Games movies, yes. I guess these people mentally live in a similar fantasy world.

    I actually think the dentist was announcing some visit to Africa or something to try to rehabilitate his image

    Is he going there to un-kill something?

  121. 121.

    boatboy_srq

    @Tim C.: “Donations to Balloon Juice keyboard replacement program accepted at [link]” would make an excellent rotating tag line.

  123. 123.

    A Ghost to Most

    @burnspbesq:

    And Balloon Juice’s own Ross Douthat speaks up with his latest pronouncement.

    fuck you,dookie. I’ve been to the hill country;nice but nothing special. Never been to Big Bend, never will (it’s in Texas). Did my basic training in San Antonio, asshole. Drove through the hill county when we moved to Cali. West Virginia is prettier.

    I’ve been all over this country, and of all the places I want to revisit, none of them are in Texas. I live at the base of the Rockies; why would I want to want to go to Texas? It’s mostly full of Ted Cruz supporters. Austin sounds nice, but again, Texas.

  124. 124.

    Felonius Monk

    I tried to post this in an earlier thread but it somehow got linked to the “reply” thingee and not the text.

    Anyway, someone did a wonderful job on the Kim Davis Makeover

    And here is the “Ted Cruz Anthem” to go along with John’s title above.

    (NOTE: No offense intended to any Texas Juicers.)

  125. 125.

    benw

    @Betty Cracker:

    The governor of KY emphasized that angle in his comments today, and I think that’s smart. He mentioned the amount, $80K, which is a pretty sweet salary, particularly in KY, and he reminded people that she campaigned for the office and agreed to perform the duties as defined by law.

    Agreed. Reiterating that the problem is not her “Christian beliefs”, per se, but that she won’t do her job also emphasizes that she’s not the same as people who used civil disobedience to protest discrimination against them because of who they are (like, say, Rosa Parks, just to pull and example out of thin air), but instead a retrograde bigot throwing a temper tantrum.

  126. 126.

    A guy

    Marriage. One man. One woman. Not against same sex unions with all the benefits but it ain’t marriage and never will be

  127. 127.

    SFAW

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    At worst we’re even.

    At best, you’re dreaming.

    I think W more than balances out all the plus-side-of-the-ledger sons and daughters of Nuevo Aztlan Tejas that you mentioned. And that’s before adding Louie Gohmert, Joe Barton, Blake Farenthold, and honorary Texan Jim Inhofe.

    So, no, you’re not “even.”

  130. 130.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    Fuck all y’all, we gave you LBJ (and Ladybird), Anne Richards, Barbara Jordan, Molly Ivins, Bill Moyers, Dan Rather, Chester Nimitz, Willie Nelson, Janis Joplin, Doug Sahm, and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

    And Townes van Zandt, Guy Clark, Larry McMurtry (and his son James), Mary Karr, Rodney Crowell …

    So you have a point. Texas is probably closer to even than it might seem. But Christ, Texas assholes are the biggest assholes there are.

  131. 131.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @SFAW:

    I think W more than balances out all the plus-side-of-the-ledger sons and daughters of Nuevo Aztlan Tejas that you mentioned.

    Bush ain’t a native, and bullshit.

  134. 134.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @A guy:

    There are people out there whose religion mandates one man and multiple women. Why should their religious freedoms be denied?

  135. 135.

    TriassicSands

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    Take all of those Democrats and then put George W. on the other side and it’s no contest. When you start throwing in some of SFAW’s other Texas Hall of Shamers, Texas goes into a hole so deep that even the likes of Gandhi and Mandela couldn’t pull it out (were they unfortunate enough to have been from Texas).

    And don’t forget, Cheney was from Texas in 2000 — to avoid constitutional problems he did a transparently phony move to Wyoming. Put Cheney on W’s side of the ledger and Gawdallmighty couldn’t balance things out.

    Even? Not even close.

  136. 136.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @benw: Exactly. Her beliefs are irrelevant apart from the fact that she cites them as the reason she refuses to fullfill the duties of her office. Her past life is equally irrelevant.

    If she can’t put aside her beliefs, then she should resign. That’s what sane people do when put in such a situation. If she doesn’t want to resign, she can say that she’s performing her duties under protest, but she has to perform those duties.

  138. 138.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @TriassicSands:

    When you start throwing in some of SFAW’s other Texas Hall of Shamers, Texas goes into a hole so deep that even the likes of Gandhi and Mandela couldn’t pull it out

    So quantify it for me. List out exactly what Bush and Cheney did to outweigh everything Johnson did. Just for fun, let’s limit it to domestic policy (after all, Johnson got us into a long, ugly, pointless war overseas for no good reason as well).

    Does the Patriot Act outweigh the Civil Rights Act, for example? If so, how?

  139. 139.

    PaulW

    I swear to God that photo looks like a set of characters from a Stephen King horror movie, right before the werewolves show up to rip everyone to shreds.

  140. 140.

    SFAW

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    Touchy, aren’t we?

    Whether Bush was born in Texas is immaterial to everyone except you. He was, what – 21? 22? when he moved to Texas? Or did Poppy move there before 1968? Don’t know, not worth spending more than 3 seconds on it to find out. He’s been there for 47+ years, just fucking accept that he’s now a Texan, and has been since at least 1968.

    On the Bush side of the ledger: Iraq, 9/11, economy tanking, destruction of the regulatory structure, Patriot Act, Katrina, Iran getting 5000 centrifuges, Cheney running the country. To balance Bush would take a Lincoln or an FDR, or maybe those two combined. LBJ did some really good things for this country – Civil Rights Act, VRA, War on Poverty. Thurgood Marshall – but he also had Vietnam, which was the biggest foreign policy clusterfuck until Iraq came along. He was NOT in the same league as FDR. Had Vietnam not been his albatross, he might have become another FDR, or close to it. Of course, if I were six-foot-nine, with top 0.01 percent hand-eye coordination [ETA: And 50 years younger], I might be the next Michael Jordan.

    Christ, who would have thought that Texans would get their feelings hurt so easily? For a state that keeps telling the rest of us poor bastards how big and strong they are, one has to wonder …

  143. 143.

    SFAW

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:
    Oh, and the “limit it to domestic policy” BS? Great idea, because, of course, we only elect Presidents to deal with domestic policy. And your bullshit “quantify” thing? I’ll do that as soon as you can count the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin. While you’re doing that, I’ll attempt to count the number of dead Iraqi civilians that resulted from Dick and W’s Not-So-Excellent Adventure. Be interesting to see which number is larger. Oh, right, my count will be ZERO, because only domestic policy is important.

    I’m sure, if you pick the “correct” set of narrowly-defined-and-tailored-to-your-particular-tastes-and-whims criteria, we can get LBJ to “balance out” W. But for the rest of the world, it doesn’t really work that way.

    Thanks FSM that

  145. 145.

    Kay Eye

    Somewhere in Wellsburg, West Virginia, there is a huge yard sign that says Ted Cruz for President. I saw it with my own Texas eyes.

  147. 147.

    EZSmirkzz

    I’ll see your fuck all of you, and raise you a fuck all of you too.

    Also too, how’s your ass anyway John?

  148. 148.

    joel hanes

    > W
    > Cheney

    Phil Gramm
    Tom Delay
    Louie Gohmert
    Ken Paxton
    Dan Patrick
    G. W. Abbott
    Goodhair Perry

    In the karmic balance, Molly Ivins outweighs all of them

  149. 149.

    Lavocat

    Shit, the only thing missing from that picture is a banjo and one or all chawing down on a pull o’ Timothy, by gum.

    And does Cruz look like the fucking Anti-Christ or what? Jesus, that is one creepy-looking dude.

  152. 152.

    SFAW

    @John Revolta:

    Looks to me like she done found #5.

    And #6 (same as #4), #7 (Huck), #8 (Cruz again), and #9 (a/k/a 2/4/6) as well. And if she finds a #10, she beats Zsa Zsa.

    Ain’t love grand?

  158. 158.

    EZSmirkzz

    JSYK you didn’t hurt my feelings here John, and I hope I didn’t hurt yours either. Intertubular humor is hard.

    That said, you ought to try living with these guys, and . . . their supporters, some of whom actually believe all this stuff. A little bit of eff youing from up Nawth just rolls of your back like water off a duck. Keep on chooglin brother.

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