Back at 1:30, but technically 4:30 since I am still on Eastern time. Walked around, did some people watching, spent 40 bucks gambling, and whatnot. Saw a lot of people drinking way too much and spending way too much money at the tables.
Ended up thinking about how Lily was coping without me- the others probably don’t even notice or care. Well, maybe Steve. He probably misses out nightly quality time when he sits on my lap for an hour right before I go to bed after Thurston is asleep.
Realized tonight that a lot of the things I thought I really liked and had fun doing I didn’t really enjoy that much at all. Apparently I enjoyed DRINKING and then doing those things just because they were socially appropriate to do while drinking. Those activities while sober, ehh, not that much fun, really. I guess the reason I like to stay at home and mess around on the computer and read and sit with the dogs and play computer games and chat with people online is because I actually like to do those things. Imagine that. Demented and sad, but social.
I’m a judgmental reformed drunk, and I know that and keep it to myself because it’s pointless saying something to drunks about how much they are drinking. They know how much they are drinking and aren’t going to quit until they are damned well good and ready or because their body can’t take it anymore, and maybe even then they won’t. Not to mention, it’s none of my fucking business and maybe this really is all they have, and that’s just too fucking sad to even think about but for a moment.
Regardless, I judge in silence, mainly because I think I see what people who haven’t been in my shoes don’t see because they haven’t been there. The drink clutched too close, the extra drink always on the way before they’ve even become acquainted with the current one… Talk to a reformed heroin addict, and they’ll tell you all the places you can buy heroin that are right there on the corner, you’ve just never seen it because you weren’t looking for it. It hides in plain sight.
And hey, I’m all for people exercising their right to shitty decisions, but I’ll punch the next person I hear bitching about smoking bans in bars and restaurants back home. Going to have to fucking shower and put everything I wore tonight in a plastic bag until I can get them to a laundry machine.
I’m excited for breakfast. I’m going to sleep in until 8:30 or so (which is 11:30 East Coast time!) and soak in the hot tub, then head out and find a good mexican restaurant and have some huevos rancheros or maybe some ceviche if I can find it. Blue Man Group tomorrow night.
You all be good to yourselves.
Anne Laurie
Glad to know you’re enjoying yourself, Cole!
(And maybe you should look into getting a hot tub for your home. Given the state of your shoulders, it might even qualify as a medical deduction.)
Zinsky
I’m a quitter too. Stopped drinking 21 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I still enjoy an occasional joint or pipeful of ganja, if I can get it. Alcohol makes people stupid, whereas pot makes them thoughtful. Big difference. Since I quit drinking, Vegas is the worst place in the world to visit. Have fun anyway!
raven
It’s interesting to see you go through what I did 21 years ago. One of my clearest memories is how I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself the first few times I was in an airport. I had always gone straight to a bar and got the ball rolling. It was the old “I drink when we win, drink when we lose and drink when we get rained out”! I had a long talk with a friend who is coming off of throat cancer treatment and we found a parallel between my not drinking and his inability to taste food (inability at best, some things just taste awful). So many social events are centered on food and drinking and not participating or caring makes a person an outlier. My bride still drinks and it is not the happiest part of our relationship but I keep trying to tell myself that I’m the one who quit and she’ll have to come to it on her own. Gotta just hang tough.
raven
@Zinsky: Hell of a year wasn’t it?
NotMax
Who are you and what have you done with John Cole?
;)
magurakurin
Cole, it sounds to me like you’ve put the drinking behind you. Welcome to the club. There are a lot of us who judge in silence. Not even judge really, just make mental comments. Like you say, people are free to make their own shitty decisions.
I know you aren’t into the main activity in Vegas(can’t say it moderation) But, a really funky and interesting place to check out is the El Cortez which is downtown. $40 would go a long long way there and you can see a real slice of the funky funky side of Vegas. Check it out. Also the coffee shop has a good greasy American breakfast if you are into that stuff.
Mustang Bobby
I quit 23 years ago next week. I wondered if I would miss it, and there were times, especially on a hot afternoon, when a beer would be the perfect accompaniment. But as time went by, I thought about it less and less until now I don’t even miss it, even when I see friends enjoying it, some more responsibly than others.
It has also made me resolve never to get into a relationship beyond friendship with someone who drinks to excess. That has been a very tough decision. There is someone I like very much; I like being with him and his family, and I am sure they like me. But when he’s downed a bottle of white wine in an evening, I can’t be there. It brings back too many memories of why I stopped in the first place, and I can’t go back there.
I am glad you’ve stayed strong, John. It takes a lot, and you’ve done it.
Baud
This reminds me of the Fun Bobby character in Friends.
longtime lurker
Stopped drinking a year and a half ago – sometimes I miss being in a bar and hanging out and occasionally I will go into one for a club soda & watch a game for a while . But what I used to perceive as witty bar banter really is usually just slack-jawed stupidity. Drunks are boring or boorish at best, dangerous at worst. I usually leave within 20 minutes
raven
@Mustang Bobby: That drinking to excess is tricky. My wife really is moderate but I can tell when she’s had just one. I just kind of close up and don’t do a lot of talking at those times. It’s probably not the best but it gets me through. Of course the wedding weekend in LA will be a challenge.
Schlemazel
I enjoy a glass of wine or a beer – sometimes two – but never feel the NEED to have either and it is not a requirement for a good time. I guess that makes me lucky, I can’t imagine thinking the way I am hearing you guys talk about it. I’m happy for all of you that you have beaten an obvious demon in your life and grateful I never had to.
raven
One thing that annoys me (among many) is how some people here feel compelled to make cute little drinking comments to Cole. Not that he cares, or even reads them, but it’s childish at best.
raven
@Schlemazel: The shrink I went to when I crashed an burned said “by our definition you are not an alcoholic but you have some important choices to make”. I quit in one day after 30 years. I’m not sure that qualified as “need”.
Ramalama
People still smoke in bars in restaurants in Las Vegas?? That’s so … old school. So Rat Pack.
Baud
@raven:
Since I have the only nonserious comment here, I assume that was directed at me. I certainly didn’t read Cole’s post as one that called for a quip-free thread, but I have no interest in causing angst to people struggling with addiction.
Major Major Major Major
I got to have the bestest date. A nap, other nap-related things in a fun way, cake and ice cream for no reason, and then we watched The Waters of Mars (Doctor Who) because of course we did.
raven
@Baud: I’m not talking about this thread.
Schlemazel
@raven:
I hear need in the descriptions people are giving, I don’t know how else to describe it. I come from a family of drinkers and have seen the behavior described first hand. My dad never said “I need a drink” but he would get loaded regularly. I got the companion disease, depression, but can take or leave booze. I consider that a break for me.
Baud
@raven:
Ok. Thanks.
NotMax
Amazing.
raven
@Schlemazel: So you dump a neurological depressant on depression?
Tokyokie
I grew up in a town in Oklahoma near the border with Kansas back when the legal drinking age for beer and wine was 18 up there. Pretty much everybody I knew, once they got their driver’s licenses, got fake IDs, and every weekend would drive up to Kansas and get blasted on cheap beer and wine until they were puking, then try to navigate the 20 miles back home safely. Because I’ve never associated any activity involving vomiting as pleasurable, I never joined my high school classmates, who now, upon reflection, will probably probably admit it wasn’t actually any fun. But I’ve long contended that social pressure frequently lead us to engage in miserable activities that we delude ourselves into believing are pleasurable. And it sounds like our blog host is learning that lesson.
Major Major Major Major
If you think you have a problem you might have a problem.
There are shades of problems and a difference between dependency and being a booze hound.
And nobody’s perdect.
But if you’re setting off somebody’s dependency alarms it’s worth checking out. Can’t recommend AA though. The 90% recidivism rate doesn’t come from a vacuum.
Toschek
Yeah, I dislike Vegas with a passion and I have to go there in two weeks for a conference. I quit drinking about 9 months ago and I find being around people who are drinking unbearable. Whoever said what used to seem witty now seems sad is so right. Anyway, this conference is a yearly thing and when I was drinking it made it at least tolerable to be there – so I’m not looking forward to spending a minute there now that I’m not. My co-workers will be there and I’m sure they’re going to want to go bar hopping and I’m going to be a big ol poopy head for wanting to head back to my hotel room and crash. My boss will be there too and he actually got mad at me a few months ago for not drinking at a work social event because it “might make people uncomfortable.” It isn’t like I was commenting on other peoples drinking or behaviors, I guess I must have just looked bored.
Anyway, yeah I feel you John. Vegas is hell, but there’s good food at least I guess.
Schlemazel
@raven:
That is one of the threads of alcoholism, burying depression. But yeah, I have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes, one. Maybe I am too tightly controlled but I have not enjoyed drinking to be intoxication and booze has never impacted my life from inside (outside, others hell yeah). So yes, I drink a depressant even though I am depressed.
Rosalita
Chiming in as the former significant other and almost wife of a binge drinker. I admire all of you who have acknowledged the problem and have chosen to fix it. Booze effects everyone in your life. I can’t stand to be around it either. To Mustang Bobby’s point, i also have a wonderful guy that I spend time with but I am paralyzed to let it be more because one drink becomes five.
qwerty42
I’ve been in Vegas for a few conferences and meetings too. One long-ago American Statistical (when Vegas was still more like the place in “Crime Story” if you remember “Crime Story”). On one of the recent (a meeting in middle of summer — am familiar with how those go, so heavy shirt for warmth while deep inside some vague meeting room at Cesar’s — loved the wake up call: “Hail noble guest” — as AC would be working ceaselessly to keep temps down) walked around the Strip and others. I believe the “Circus-Circus” of Hunter Thompson’s time is gone (“what the whole hip world would be doing if the Nazis had won the war”), saw Belagio (sp?). Casino water use out there seems lavish, but keep away from any except clearly drinkable stuff: they recycle heavily and capture most excess for reuse. Passes for strip clubs handed out like monopoly money and litter the streets. I think the clubs pay the homeless to distribute them.
Mt Charleston is interesting as is Red Rock Canyon. (though at latter I was warned to watch for rattlesnakes)
Coming from a very green environment (WV), it take a while to get used to (and like) the very different look. As I recall, geologically, Vegas is in the “basin and range” area of the southwest, where (interestingly) the earth’s crust is thinnest. And was once covered by ocean water and will be again.
Gindy51
@NotMax: And if this works, what do you want to be the old fart tea baggers decide abortion is cool as long as they get new eyes….
pete mack
Vegas is fun IF you can find cheap 2-deck blackjack. But playing blackjack drunk (or poker or any kind of serious gambling) is insane. I can’t win at blackjack, but a few hours play costs about as much as a movie. That is money well spent.
Gin & Tonic
Not everyone who drinks is a drunk.
Virginia (fka Abo Gato)
Okay John, what we really want to know is what did you think about The Lotus of Siam?
(My bad). Had not read the update. Love the duck there so I hope John goes back for that.
debbie
After I quit smoking (~30 years, 4+ packs a day), I was appalled at how smelly smoke was. No wonder people objected to it!
ET
The Breakfast Club quote seems apt.
As the only non-alcoholic person in my family I was always amazed by the words that came out of the mouths of my family members and a fair bit of their behavior when they were drunk. So embarrassing for a kid. I was a bit phobic about drinking for myself for years even though alcoholism wasn’t my disease.
Zinsky
My spouse still drinks, but never has more than two. That’s the difference between her and I – if I had two, I wanted 22. Couldn’t stop until I was hammered. Pot I can’t moderate and it is a self-limiting drug, at least for me. You don’t get any higher, once you are stoned, regardless of how much you smoke. A friend from Seattle gave me some cannabis mints, that after two, give you such a nice glow and tingle, it is otherworldly. I also love to play guitar high, so a joint or a couple mints really is a great way to relax and appreciate music even more than I already do.
magurakurin
@pete mack: There is single deck $5 BckJck at the El Cortez. The 8 deck tables are $2. I only ever played a few times. I spent a winter memorizing basic strategy in preparation for a stop in Vegas with my father in law from Japan in the summer. My magnum opus was a single hand where I split, then double down on one hand, split the other again, double down on one of those and split yet another hand and then double down on both of those. I had like 40 dollars on the table or something. The dealer had a 3 and her hole card was a ten. She looked at me, knocked the table three times and said “come on ten,” and she pulled a Queen. The other players at the table gave me a big atta boy, I tipped the dealer gathered up my checks, cashed them in and retired from BckJck. It was pretty cool though.
Tripod
@Ramalama:
Around here, every time they clamped down on smoking, there was caterwauling that the bars, restaurants and casinos would be driven out of business.
It was all bullshit.
Oblio
Hard to believe, but the Canyonita Mexican Grill deep inside (gasp!) The Venetian has proven to serve some truly excellent food, they even do refried beans and chile rellenos like madmen, I highly recommend it. Plus, situated alongside the weirdo canal, it’s a hoot watching people make out in public.
My wife and I always look for alternatives to the gambling while in LV. During our last visit we enjoyed the Pinball Hall of Fame on Tropicana Blvd. East of LV Blvd., a really fun place with machines from every era, all working and at original prices. The indoor/Egyptian-themed/black light mini-golf King Putt in Henderson is ridiculous fun, and the art museum inside the Bellagio is a bit pricey but they have a spectacular exhibit of world-class fine art. The Ethel M (of the M&M Mars Family) chocolate factory is a nice diversion, and the adjacent outdoor desert botanical garden was her personal pride and joy, very enjoyable even in the heat of the day.
The Container Park on Fremont St. in Downtown is one of our fave places to hang out, a strange multi-level assemblage of shipping containers turned into an outdoor mall with all kinds of interesting shops, a central gathering area and weekly evening concerts. They even have a fire-breathing metal monster from Burning Man out front that blasts flame and nise every so often, scares the crap outta tourists. AWESOME.
The drinking thing is a conundrum. I prefer a good weed buzz over alcohol and just try to avoid drinking unless its a shot of kamikaze in the room. Have fun and take care!
Nicole
I love when you talk about your journey with sobriety, Cole.
My dad stopped drinking in March (after 40+ years of it) and it was a very strange few months. Lovely because my husband got to finally see what my dad is like sober (he’s delightful) and frightening because you just don’t know when or if it’s going to end. My dad didn’t talk about it and didn’t want to talk about it. This past weekend we went to my cousin’s wedding, at a winery, and my dad got quite drunk on the free wine (although, time was, he couldn’t get drunk on wine if he tried, as gin was his drink and he downed a lot of it every day). I thought I was prepared, but it was still pretty crushing. I think he’s off the wagon again, but we’ll see. I know for many people the journey includes relapses, and they come back to try again, but I don’t know how hopeful I can be.
gvg
It’s an interesting point to mull over, has my nondrinking contributed to my anti social habits? I have never been a drinker and have always been to comfortable alone and bored with most socializing. My father was a drinker with a problem and quit after it got bad enough for mom to leave when I was past high school and out on my own. He wasn’t bad until I was nearly grown so that I was able to ignore the warning signs until late, but my kid sister saw more and was more bothered. Anyway, I was expecting to drink when I turned 18, but when I tried it, it tasted so awful I couldn’t drink more than a sip of any kind my friends showed me so I just gave up. they drank and enjoyed it and I was OK around them drinking although I did notice they were more boring later in a party, but when I started college and went to random parties with new people I learned to hate it. Insecure drinkers harrased me to drink and more people went to far and were abnoxious. I gradually avoided certain scenes like bars and parties with strangers. Hating smoke was also part of it. Problem is if you are avoiding bars and parties with lots of strangers, you don’t meet many people. I preferred to read. After awhile I noticed I was single and likely to remain that way, now past 50.
I don’t know what I could have done differently. I have always had a delicate stomach and a lot of foods make me ill, so the bad horrible taste of all drinks was not something I could have overcome. I also couldn’t understand the appeal of a buzz when I thought of it. I have wondered if subconciously I didn’t want to like drinking, or if it was just the taste. No way to be sure. But drinking is woven into most of our social traditions and makes problems for the outliers.
Smoke bothers me more and more as I get older. I have allergies and sister has asthma. I probably will end up with asthma too, gradually. Florida banning smoking gradually everywhere public, has made a huge difference to my quality of life. I have noticed that out west there is still a lot of smoking. It seems to be connected to some idealized freedom of the region. when we visit, the hotels can be really unsatisfactory as people apparently ignore rules and smoke even in non smoking rooms. seems like smokers think that there is no lingering smell and we won’t know later.
joes527
Even Vegas is better about the smoke than it used to be. When I first started going to conferences, my ritual upon coming home was to enter the house through the garage, strip down in the garage, and put my bag and all my clothes in garbage bags until they could be dealt with, and walk directly into the shower for a good long wash.
The last couple of times weren’t like that at all. Of course I was attending a no-smoking conference, and spent a depressing amount of time in the conference area. Still, there has been a lessening of the problem over the last decade or so.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
@Major Major Major Major:
Frankly, most mental illnesses have a pretty high relapse rate — how many stories do we hear about people with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia deciding not to take their meds anymore? — so I’m not sure why people expect alcoholism to be any different.
My theory is that AA works for a very specific group of people who have a specific mental illness that has not been identified yet, but is probably in the same family as OCD and other compulsive disorders (I don’t have the link at the moment, but there has been some promising research with gambling addicts). However, most of the people who get sent to AA have other problems — bipolar, depression, ADHD, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, etc. — so the techniques that work for someone with the OCD-like disorder we currently call “alcoholism” don’t work for them, but they never get properly screened for their real issue because everyone who is a problem drinker is a problem drinker for the same reason, amirite?
delk
The only place I still feel somewhat bothered by not drinking is Mexican Restaurants. It’s near impossible to not notice those glistening pitchers of margaritas go by.
It’s funny, the Mexican Restaurant I hated going to because they did not serve booze, is now my favorite.
Nicole
@Mnemosyne (tablet): I’ve also read that they’re starting to think OCD and addictive behaviors might be in the same family, and, purely from my family’s anecdotal evidence, I wouldn’t be surprised, as both run rampant with us.
And that’s a good point about other mental disorders lapsing about taking medication.
Brandon
Wasn’t there supposed to be a conference? Are they doing poster sessions around the blackjack tables or something?
J R in WV
I also had a shock when we first visited the high deserts out west, coming from a lushly green cove hollow in W Va. Here even in winter, when the snow melts however briefly, the rocks are covered in a velvet of green moss, and the forest floor is covered with hardy ferns. I will admit the ferns aren’t all that green after it gets down below zero… but still, there’s a lot of green.
So bare dirt and rock was strange – like being in an old western movie, or a movie about the French Foreign Legion. We always thought those big round boulders, 50 feet thick – were back lot stage sets in Hollywood, but, no, there are a lot of mountains that include giant round boulders. As we hiked and drove through the SE Arizona mountains, visited abandoned mining towns still hanging on with tourist business, and then built a small place in a ghost town, we grew to appreciate the tiny bits of green surviving in such a hostile environment.
But Las Vegas, while the food and shows and even Black Jack appeals, tobacco smoke kills both of us immediately. When both parents lit up in the car, which is a typical place for smokers, it killed me in the back seat. When we complained, they would each crack a window about one inch and if we said anything after that Dad would say “Quit yer bitchin’!”
But it still stank and hurt my chest. Same for Mrs J.
Here, when the health department shot down smoking in bars, our neighbor the sanitarian was sent around to enforce the new rules. Two of them went together, and after the second death threat, they called and got a Deputy to go with. The sanitarians work in health law enforcement, and carry badges, but don’t have weapons. They felt endangered.
But now those tavern owners told the newly elected Republicans running the legislature to leave the no-smoking rules alone. Most all of them had more customers without smoking. Imagine that!!
And of course those Republicans, believing in “smaller government and more freedom” immediately quit their attempt to backstab health departments, right? Not so much. I remember the first time we drove to Arizona through a little corner of Missouri, and stopped for a late brunch at a big truck stop restaurant – not 90 seconds after we ordered our food, a guy sat right next to us, and lit right up.
In an otherwise empty dining room!! He couldn’t have stopped at one of the first tables, or gone on into the back, where there wasn’t a smoking section. Evidently Missou makes their budget off the backs of the addicts!!
Now when we go through Missouri, we do just that, go right on through, don’t stop for anything but fuel and a quick bathroom break, quick because lots of people, first thing they do after sitting down on their throne is fire one up!!
Comically when we moved to our green home in the woods, we found that the wonderful old guys next door made their cash money living from growing a tobacco crop every summer. I helped them do nearly part of the complicated and difficult planting, tending, harvesting, and curing of tobacco necessary before actually selling it for their cash money.
Ironically, the aroma of harvested tobacco hanging in the huge old tobacco barn is one of the most wonderful smells any farm can have. But of course, it isn’t burning, it’s curing. No smoke, just a gentle aroma with rich complexity. And of course, the added hint of the yardbird chickens, who roosted among the tobacco sticks, up near the top of the barn, away from the foxes, raccoons, etc, who make part of their living off free range chickens.
We like SE Arizona a whole lot, the winter is there, it’s real, up at 5 or 6,000 feet, but it’s very different from the winters in the Appalachian Mountains of W Va. When, if it snows, it melts the very next day, usually before noon. And the sun shines most all day, most every day, with rare exceptions. There’s a 40 mile view from the windows of the little house, to the 5 or 6 different mountain ranges around the basin of Sulfur Springs Valley. And they finished paving the road past our nearly dead ghost town to Tombstone, where there is still a real town, as well as the historic tourist attraction.
Kathleen
See the Chihuly above the Bellagio check in desk, (really!) stand there and LOOK UP! There’s an amazing Chihuly there, often unnoticed, one of the most beautiful pieces of art, very well worth your time. I visit every time I am there. And it’s free!
Go see any Cirque du Soleil performance, for instance Love or O.
Blue Man group is excellent fun, Hoover Dam tour and Valley of Fire walking are also amazing.
I’m not a fan of gambling, drinking, or most of the traditional “Vegas” fun, but the above are plenty to keep me busy and enjoying the city any time I need to be there.
RaflW
@Ramalama:
And so disgusting. Not to just bag on Vegas endlessly, but I find the smoking much more annoying than the drinking. Even on the nonsmoking floors of hotels (Reno, too), I feel like it permeates, and since they all typically require you to walk through the whole ca$ino floor to get to the elevators, you go through the smoke cloud each time you leave or return. Yuk.
I can’t quite believe that in Vegas, no one has had the guts to build a non-smoking parlor of iniquity.
Aleta
“You all be good to yourselves”
Thanks, John.
Such good writing inside so modest a delivery.
Medicine Man
Hang in there John.
I think the habits of vice truly do vary from person to person. Some can consume alcohol casually for years and never go overboard, others slide slowly or quickly into dangerous behavior; moreover, what is considered overboard also varies from person to person. I’ve long considered myself a member of the casual drinkers club but recent years have caused me to reconsider. After developing IBS, I’ve found drinking regularly is a straight choice between indulging habit and being comfortable. It begs the question: if I don’t enjoy it quite so much anymore due to biology, why is it still a regular habit? I can’t claim to have dealt with the same things you have John Cole, but I can imagine in some small way what you’re going through. I’m glad you’re examining things the way you are.
Keith Ward
My wife grew up in Vegas (yes, real people live there), and her favorite Mexican food place is “Macayos” (sp). Don’t think
there is one on the strip, but there are several around town. It is a local chain.
Comrade Luke
@NotMax:
My brother has macular degeneration; freak case, got it in his late 20s. If this works it will be life changing.