Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

This really is a full service blog.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

Consistently wrong since 2002

In my day, never was longer.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

We still have time to mess this up!

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

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56Comments

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    Vickstiller, you just should not, let me say that again, you should not be trying to take the top off the defense.
    Just throw underneath and do your best to not get your guys blown the fuck up over the middle.

  7. 7.

    Corner Stone

    “Not a quick decision, as you can see. I can sack you away or you can run from me.”

  8. 8.

    redshirt

    Someone needs to define a word to describe the feeling of playing in too many fantasy leagues such that you no longer know what to root for.

    It’s very confusing.

  12. 12.

    Betty Cracker

    @Jade: Fuck that asshole too. I’ll admit I didn’t follow that story all that closely, so I don’t know how strong the charges were against BR. But I’m generally in the “where there’s smoke, there’s fire” camp, even if he squirmed off the legal hook, so fuck him.

  14. 14.

    BruceFromOhio

    Also a bit charmed by the Dog Murderer standing in for Rapistberger. A despised team that has its qb’s pre-tarred and feathered. The opponent is the stolen soul of a former football team from elsewhere that’s 0-3.

    Welcome to the AFC North. Whatta league!

    @redshirt: How about a deuce?
    WALL STREET

  16. 16.

    Betty Cracker

    @redshirt: Confansion? Rootfusion? I dunno, but that’s why I quit playing fantasy football. It goddamn ruined the season for me the only year I played it. Never again.

  19. 19.

    redshirt

    @Betty Cracker:

    Confansion? Rootfusion? I dunno, but that’s why I quit playing fantasy football. It goddamn ruined the season for me the only year I played it. Never again.

    Confansion is quite apt.

    For me, it’s not just fantasy sports if you’re playing just one team, but rather multiple fantasy teams, such that at times you’re rooting against yourself, you’re rooting for the same guy to succeed and fail, etc. It’s not fun and now I remember why I gave it up years ago.

  24. 24.

    Corner Stone

    WHUH?!

    ETA, that’s what I thought. It looked like it was tipped and still somehow got through.

  26. 26.

    mainmata

    Sorry, I am going with the Steelers team not focusing on Vick. Because I am an institutional Steeler fan having grown up on them in the city. It’s a signal-noise ratio thing. Vick is admittedly the noise though I think he’s probably not torturing dogs anymore.

    As to the game, Baltimore is 0-3 and really, desperately needs to win this game. So does Pittsburgh but for very different reasons.

  27. 27.

    Betty Cracker

    @redshirt: I hope they go undefeated in the regular season and then choke in the Super Bowl again. It was awesome last time that happened. The surviving members of the 1972 Dolphins were laughing their asses off.

  28. 28.

    redshirt

    @Betty Cracker:

    I hope they go undefeated in the regular season and then choke in the Super Bowl again. It was awesome last time that happened. The surviving members of the 1972 Dolphins were laughing their asses off.

    Some local sports radio callers are hoping the Pats at least lose a game so they don’t have that pressure on them. It’s hilarious.

    I hope the Pats never lose another game again.

  29. 29.

    lonesomerobot

    If this blog is to any extent at all about equality and fairness then it has to be honest and acknowledge that Michael Vick has paid his debt to society; and in a fair society, we have to allow that person back into the fold. Furthermore, in the years since his incarceration, Vick has raised far more money for animal charities than this blog has, and regularly devotes his personal time to the cause.

    I am in no way defending his crime. It is indefensible. But if we don’t allow people who have served time and paid their debt to society an opportunity to be forgiven, that just makes us a shitty country.

  32. 32.

    Betty Cracker

    @efgoldman: Sadly, the college teams in the state ain’t all that this year either. I’m afraid my Gators might hit the buzzsaw this weekend. But maybe not!

  33. 33.

    redshirt

    @lonesomerobot: I am pro-Vick, by the way. He’s the very definition of a reformed criminal, and we should embrace the example, not continue to spit at him.

    And the focus on the dog crime is weird, really. More hate for this crime than murderers and rapists. What does that say?

  34. 34.

    Betty Cracker

    @lonesomerobot: Fuck that noise. Vick did his jail time, and now he gets to pursue his chosen profession and make millions of dollars again — no one is saying otherwise. But I’m not required to forgive him, welcome him to the fold or wish him well.

    He’s a fucking psychopath who tortured and killed defenseless animals for his personal amusement. That makes him an evil motherfucker. I’m glad that the process of burnishing his PR credentials results in raising money for animal welfare, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a sick, twisted fuck.

    Forgive him? Bull-fucking-shit.

  36. 36.

    redshirt

    @Betty Cracker: Vick didn’t invent dog fighting Betty. He didn’t make a sport of it. He grew up in a culture where this was already present. Cast all the stones you want, but it is possible for someone to change. To reform.

    If you don’t believe that, then why jail anyone? Kill them all, right?

  38. 38.

    Joel

    Well, I suppose the human rapist and the human murderer aren’t playing, since one is injured and the other is retired.

  40. 40.

    mainmata

    Steelers defense snuffs trick fake field goal. You don’t see that often. But then Ravens snuff Vick. This is a vicious tug of war. Classic Steelers-Ravens (previous Colts) rivalry.

  42. 42.

    Betty Cracker

    @redshirt: Who said anything about “kill them all”? Not me. I said it’s appropriate that he got out of jail after serving his time and was able rejoin the workforce, so knock it off with the strawman, okay?

    What I object to is the phony-ass requirement to “forgive” Vick or believe in his reform. I believe people who rob stores and steal cars, etc., can see the light and change. I don’t believe people who do something truly evil like hurt or abuse children or torture and kill pets are in the same category. I’m not required to consider them good people or root for their success.

    @lonesomerobot: If despising people who torture and kill dogs makes me an asshole, so be it.

  43. 43.

    redshirt

    @Betty Cracker:

    I’m not required to consider them good people or root for their success.

    Certainly not, but you might consider the rare occasion when someone does reform. Not that you have to root for them, but maybe not condemn them so vehemently.

  44. 44.

    Joel

    I’ve only watched about two minutes of this thing and I can deduce that it’s clearly one of the worst games of all time.

  46. 46.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @redshirt: I am inclined to believe that reform is possible. OTOH, I tend to keep a very wary eye for a long time on people who have been horrible. And, if they were horrible about politics, I tend to have doubts about their judgment.

  47. 47.

    redshirt

    @Omnes Omnibus: Sure, that’s what probation is supposed to be about. But we should also celebrate those who pass through this system and turn out to be positive contributors towards society. Not treat them as lepers forever.

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @redshirt: Probation and parole are about the justice system. I am talking about my personal opinion. I have no obligation to adopt the results of a trial or the completion of a sentence as the vindication of a person. To me, Vick seems sincere about his reform; I still would never buy his jersey.

  50. 50.

    redshirt

    @Omnes Omnibus: Gotchya. I’m no Vick fan or a fan of his teams, but from what I’ve read he does seem sincere and I think that’s important.

    I also think the vehemence against him is an interesting example of how Americans often rank pets – specifically dogs – above people.

    And we’re on to overtime!

  53. 53.

    Betty Cracker

    @redshirt: Oh please. We “vehemently condemn” people all the time around here for disagreeing on relatively minor political points or being shitty journalists / pundits. If y’all want to buy the self-serving redemption story of a spoiled, rich asshole who personally hanged, electrocuted and drowned pet dogs and forced them to fight to the death for his amusement, go right ahead. I’ll pass.

    As for ranking dogs above people, well, I’ll plead guilty to that, at least some of the time. People are often assholes. Dogs aren’t, not unless some asshole person mistreats them. I despise people who mistreat dogs as much as I hate people who abuse, insult or mistreat children.

    Speaking of which, my 17-year-old just got back from her shift at the burrito factory and told me about some skeevy pervert who made an obscene phone call to her. If I knew where that bastard lived, I’d drive over there right now and introduce his testicals to my panini press. I guess that makes me a bad liberal.

  56. 56.

    Slaughter

    @redshirt: As John Wooden used to say, “Character is what you do when nobody is looking.” Vick could have humanely killed any dog that he deemed unfit to fight, but instead he took glee in torturing them before he killed them. He did not serve time for animal abuse; it was for the gambling. He’s a despicable human being.

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