Here you go. Many but not all of John Cole’s greatest hits. I haven’t included some links, for different reasons: there were too many posts to choose from on a given topic (on Schiavo, or on alcoholism, for example); I wasn’t sure exactly which post a comment referred to; or I simply couldn’t track something down to its source (famous things! like mustard or faxing one’s credenza). If someone would like to help out…
There were a few points of special interest in the comments on that earlier post.
- BGinCHI mentioned having commented on a post about Indiana, and offered to expand on those thoughts. I was reminded that a blog is an extended conversation, and just highlighting front page posts may not be the best thing to do. If anyone else wants to point us to a past contribution, that could be good.
- SG gave us about dozen links to “life, the universe and everything” posts and then a dozen more on “the most extraordinary series of posts on the loss of Tunch, his grief and his gradual return to living.”
- gussie knows book agents.
What else is there to say? I’ve enjoyed reading through the favorite posts you all have pointed out, running through the years. Thanks. They cover a broad range: the political evolution from Republican to Democrat; moving pet stories; dealing with alcoholism; everyday life, including mishaps that rise to Wile E. Coyote heights. Oh, and the meta—this wouldn’t be Balloon Juice if the host didn’t occasionally call us all fuckers. It seems to me that there are different ways of thinking about how they all fit together, but I don’t know if there’s one best way. I guess that’s a job for an editor, but feel free to suggest something.
Below I’ve organized pointers to posts by the order of their having been mentioned by you, along with what you said. The posts have a link and an excerpt, usually.
[ETA: 1.xx is the number of a comment on the Still Life post; 2.xx is the number of a comment on this post. Why number the entries? Mainly so I could keep track of what I’d done so far, as I was editing.]
1.4. Richard mayhew says: Tires and anthrax
1.11. BruceFromOhio says: To me, this set the stage. It doesn’t need description, it’s in the lexicon.
I really don’t understand how bipartisanship is ever going to work when one of the parties is insane. Imagine trying to negotiate an agreement on dinner plans with your date, and you suggest Italian and she states her preference would be a meal of tire rims and anthrax.
1.4. Richard mayhew says: Fuck it, I registered as a Democrat today
1.95. Chuckles says: The public journey from Republican to Democrat would need to be a major part of a book.
1.107. Betty Cracker says: I’d have to go with the Republican to Democrat transition. It was anguished and uncommonly honest.
Long story short, I got up there to register as an independent, said “Fuck it,” and now I am a Democrat. I certainly don’t agree with all their positions, but they are not bat-shit crazy like the GOP. That has to count for something. Additionally, I no longer have to read posts by the 24% crowd calling me a “true conservative” with quotes o’sarcasm (you know who they are). Not any more, bitches. I repudiate you, your party, and whatever the fuck it is you are currently pretending is “conservatism.” It isn’t.
1.4. Richard mayhew says: Doha Dash and his 45/vs arm chair commandos
Long story short, the 11th ACR was in Camp Doha, near Kuwait City, and we would take turns doing rotations outside the perimeter, guarding the compound, and doing maintenance on vehicles (the sand killed M1’s), and while my unit was in our down phase before going on guard rotation, 2nd squadron had an incident in the makeshift motor pool. By incident, I mean they put the halon bottles in one of the ammo bearing vehicles for the howitzers on mechanical safe, an electrical fire started, ammo cooked off, the vehicle exploded, which caused a chain reaction explosion, wiping out numerous vehicles (more than were lost in the war), cooking off the ammo dump, and basically littering the entire compound with FASCAM, DPICM, WP, and pieces parts of multi-ton vehicles. I woke up when the first explosion went off, and seconds later the receiver base of a .50 cal came through the roof from a 1/2 mile away and landed feet from me.
1.5. SiubhanDuinne says: Does anybody remember when John fell on the ice and wrecked his shoulder? He went to a doctor and came back all drugged up and wrote the single funniest post EVAH.
1.18. srv says: January
1.19. Suzanne says: My favorite is undoubtedly the post in which he recounts the entire carrying-Lily-fell-broke-shoulder-got-up-fell-all-over-self.
Somehow drove to the ER, got some xrays and a ct scan, and I have basically pulverized my scapula. It is broken in multiple places, so I am heavily sedated and wearing a massive shoulder/arm immobilizer. Surgery next week.
On the upside, I was not naked in the shower with a mop.
1.6. Auntie Anne says: …the post that had me laughing until I cried was the one about his car in the field.
1.20. BruceFromOhio says: Goodness, which one? There were at least three.
Had two of the frat boys down to go over end of year stuff, and at around 10:30 one borrowed my car to take a five minute trip to the grocery to get cigarettes, and of all things, cookies. On his way back, he got run off the road by a convoy of fracking trucks, and my car is now in the middle of the field.
1.9. srv says: I mean, there were so many, it was out there for months.
My mother always names her cars, and as this was her car before she sold it to my sister who then sold it to me (because my working philosophy with cars is “DOES IT RUN? IS IT SAFE? CAN I JUST GIVE YOU 4K IN CASH?).”
1.115. Achrachno says: OK, here’s better detail on my cryptic ref. from yesterday. [Subaru in the bean field?]
The odyssey of the Subaru continues, with my fourth failed attempt to have AAA send a wrecker.
1.10. Mobile RoonieRoo says: The post that must be included is when he was mopping his bathroom naked and fell.
1.13. srv says: Not a post, comment.
Oh, I’m fine.
I decided to combine some housecleaning with personal hygiene, stripped naked to mop the bathroom and mopped my way into the tub, then, forgetting that the last time I showered I had not turned the knob back so that the water would come out the bottom when I turned it back on, started the shower.
1.11. BruceFromOhio says: The day Tunch died and John restrained his vengeance is another one that does not need description.
1.96. Goblue72 says: I’m posting on a mobile so can’t search the thread. May have been mentioned but this one — the day Tunch died and everyone cried:
I am barely keeping it together as I write this, but Tunch was just killed a half hour ago by one of my sister’s dog.
1.12. Omnes Omnibus says: Mustard.
2.17. stinger says: Regarding the mustard, it was at least 2 years ago, and definitely before the car-in-the-field, as many commentors helpfully suggested that the missing mustard might be in the car, or in the field.
2.38. MazeDancer says: Think this is the original mustard post. March 17, 2013. Titled “Open Thread”. Only tag was “fucked-up-endness”. Got 212 comments. (Adding “refrigerator” to “mustard” helped the Google searching. Recalled “refrigerator” in the post, and imagined that a “mustard” search of “balloon-juice.com:” would return only slightly less results than searching “cat”.)
2.50. Birthmarker says: Honest question-didn’t John eventually find the mustard? Like a year later? Or is my memory that pitiful?
2.62. Sandia Blanca says: Yes, that’s the mustard thread! Yay! Here’s a nice excerpt from it:
I know I bought a god damned container of mustard yesterday when I was at the grocery. I know because when I was walking the bags into the house before parking the car in the garage, the mustard fell out, I picked it up, put it in my pocket, dropped all the groceries in the kitchen, and I took the mustard out and put it on the counter.
1.14. shirk says: Absolutely unflinching self-examination and honesty, with a slap at the Weekly Standard as a bonus.
I see that Andrew Sullivan was asked to list what he got wrong about Iraq for the five year anniversary of the invasion, and since I was as big a war booster as anyone, I thought I would list what I got wrong:
1.17. the Conster says: The day he first saw Lily was my favorite day on this blog,
1.48. ronin122 says: I guess when he adopted Lily and Rosie if you want to show his human side too.
1.56. Geeno says: The finding of Lily at the shelter, before he even knew she was his soul mate.
1.67. TaMara (BHF) says: Someone may have already found it, but here is his post when he met Lily.
1.130. Brachiator says: Probably the post where he finds Lily.
So, to recap, she smells like cat urine, is not leash trained, has an open rash on her back, probably is not house trained, is suffering from horrible anxiety, I’m not really fond of the name Missy, and I think she is perfect. I scheduled an appointment with the vet on Tuesday to take her in to make sure she does not have any diseases that will harm Tunch and to see if we can get the rash fixed, and I will probably take her home next week.
1.17. the Conster says: the guy who wanted to fax Cole his credenza. that was cray cray…
2.56. FlipYrWhig says: The faxed credenzas and the non-laughing helicopters are from the same Balloon Boy thread featuring “Michael Gass.” It’s a DougJ rather than a John Cole, though.
1.24. srv says: The Real John faces his gliberal majority
We’re not engaged in hostilities, we’re just launching courtesy bombs!
1.24. srv says: Jane Hamsher’s of the Left superthread
Jane Hamsher and those writing that sort of crap should be ashamed of themselves, particularly since the only reason they are writing it is because they don’t want Ben writing at the WaPo- not, after all, because what they are saying about Ben is true. Of course, that would require the ability to feel shame.
1.25. Roger Moore says: Peak Wingnut!
1.45. ronin122 says: I agree, Peak Wingnut! Ask and ye shall receive:
As I look around the blogosphere, and view memeorandum, it occurred to me that we may have hit and passed Peak Wingnut. Don’t get me wrong, this election is still not over and by no means in the bag, but as I read things, the hey day of modern wingnuttia may have passed.
Ignore all my questions from above- wingnut is a renewable resource.
1.28. geg6 says: Almost any post in which his mom and/or dad are the stars of the tale.
My parents, who I am not sure are aware what they are getting themselves into, have passed the grieving phase since the loss of Russell, and have now made the rational decision to get a Jack Russell puppy while they are in their late 60’s.
1.29. srv says: Back when John was a real man.
That, folks, is what it looks like when you take the short yellow bus to your Womyn’s Studies classes.
1.32. Chickamin Slam says: When he rallies the community to save pets
I don’t believe in heaven and hell, but if I did, I know two things. First, David Broder would have to alternate between the two for all of eternity to show balance while always yearning for the middle ground of purgatory, and second, the surest way to heaven in my book is by saving helpless people and animals.
1.33. father pussbucket (fka gnomedad) says: Repeated announcements of Going Galt,
1.35. Omnes Omnibus says: The trip with ABL and The Forgetting of the Pants.
1.36. eg6 says: Oh, and some of his stuff from his epic trip to the DNC with ABL.
I forgot to mention this little bit of joy yesterday. In a moment of brilliance (actually my mom suggested it), I decided to rent a car since there is no AC in the family truckster and I should probably get something with more room for luggage since I had ladies on the road. As it turns out, I have the biggest suitcase, and it doesn’t even have any damned pants in it.
1.37. TaMara (BHF) says: We have to include several of the posts where he calls us all fuckers.
This is the fucking internet. People say offensive shit. Most of us cope and move on. For some reason, some of you need to stir shit up, and some of you simply can not stop help yourself from responding. You guys are the fucking problem, not the rest of us.
And why do I have to do this every three fucking months? Stop being douche bags. Fuckers.
1.118. TooManyJens says: I went looking for my all-time favorite “Cole tells us all to go to hell” post and I haven’t found it yet, but the process has been fun. This whole page of posts in particular is a gold mine:
1.39. Aleta says: John wrote this up as a fuck-up, but to me it was a beautiful impulse and show of good faith in the heavens, and to this day I love the picture in my mind. The Google news feed was showing a piece about some astronomical event, and John wrote that he had made and drunk a lot of late night coffee… Turned out the news article was from about 2 years earlier.
1.47. catclub says: Also his description of his mangled fingers (sausages?).
1.52. Aleta says: I also like all his posts where he describes the position of each animal in his bed, or how they settle in, or how they wake him up, or some mishap of disorder that happens in the middle of the night that gets someone barking.
1.52. Aleta says: I liked his description of what he could offer a girl as long as she would take care of the things like buying a car, paperwork, anything that required decisions of a certain kind.
1.52. Aleta says: I like when he mused about a foster child, or opening his house to a refugee, and I liked when he wrote about having Shawn visit and then move in, or having someone stay for awhile.
1.52. Aleta says: Also, his research and experiments with food and cooking for a diet that would help manage diabetes, and how good he felt after a week of it, was a great series of posts that I learned a lot from.
1.52. Aleta says: His posts about quitting drinking have been favorites, too, and helped me out of a period of hopelessness about change.
2.37. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: #52 — Drinking, and the battle to stop (part of a series)
I’ve gone the distance and I think I am done. Just got back from a night on the town- had a couple scotches in the hotel bar, went to a nice restaurant and had dinner and couple more scotches, went and saw this amazing musician named Catfish Stephenson who played a bunch of J.J. Cale and was magnificent on the slide guitar, then went to a couple more places which meant a couple more scotches, and then finally said to hell with it and came back to the hotel at 1 am. I drank enough to kill most mortals, and I bet I could still drive and am not even drunk.
I think I am going to go to AA and if necessary, rehab. I’ve been a drunk since the first time I had a beer and got stoned with my buddy when I was thirteen years old, and I just can’t do it any more. The first time I drank a few beers and felt that warm embrace as a teen, well, that was it. It’s all been about that since then, but I’m tired of being fat, I’m tired of being worried about my health all day until I have a drink and forget about shit. I’m just tired. I can’t spend anymore time wondering if I am going to die of cirrhosis or die of throat cancer from cigars, cigarettes, and booze like Chris Hitchens. It’s really killing me.
1.53. srv says: I can’t post anything from when John was a real conservative because he gets all emo and pissed off.
The worst thing about this whole idiotic memo non-flap flap is what it is doing to the long term credibility of all bloggers, in particular, conservatives. Now, granted, most people who read blogs understand that this medium is by nature personal, opinionated, and partisan, and as such, each blogger should be read with the level of credibility they deserve. However, as a collective, the right-wing bloggers who are still attacking Mike Allen and denying the veracity of the memo are beginning to look like â€˜salivating morons:’
1.53. Sandia Blanca says: Here’s a good one from January 2014, featuring a large bag of frozen spinach on an injured limb:
Spent the whole night icing and elevating the knee, and, as a survivor of a number of knee injuries over years of soccer, lacrosse, the military, and general clumsiness, it’s starting to look like I didn’t just stretch the ACL, but I may have shredded it and there may be damage to the patellar tendon and the IT band. Again, just self diagnosing, but this ain’t my first day at the rodeo and I did drive myself to the hospital after shredding my shoulder in another pet related injury, so while a commie liberal cat lover and criminally accident prone, I’m not a total Nancy Boy.
1.55. Aleta says: Also like the posts where he would describe each of the dishes he was making for a cookout to have the boys in the frat over. And his other descriptions of cooking. Always quite lifelike; I could see the food.
1.79. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: The support of his fraternity family.
1.124. Luthe says: I’ve got a weakness for his posts on mentoring the frat boys.
He decided he wanted broccoli and cheese, so, in his infinite wisdom, he dropped a half lb of shredded mozz INTO the boiling steaming concoction. Once he was convinced all the ingredients were completely dead, he then drained the mixture into a pot and went to work on the mashed potatoes.
1.55. Aleta says: And the post or two when he bought Tunch a big expensive cat tree, followed by Tunch sitting at the bottom of it looking at him, refusing to climb.
1.56. Geeno says: The “I’m done apologizing for religious whackjobs” rant during the Terry Schiavo affair. That’s key — that was the beginning of his abandonment of the GOP. That was JC’s overreach moment.
1.112. JPL says: The Terry Schiavo posts and the day John changed his Republican membership.
2.52. SG says: The Terri Schiavo posts were before I started reading Cole, but I was curious and these seem to be the posts that signal his growing disenchantment with the GOP:
1.57. Aleta says: I think there was a post mocking himself when one dog went missing, and he ran around the neighborhood in scanty dress, calling something like “Rosie come home.”
1.59. Tim C. says: I know it’s not the happy funny ones, but the posts where he recognizes his alcoholism and his struggles to get admitted to treatment.
1.127. CONGRATULATIONS! says: …all the alcoholism related ones.
1.63. TaMara (BHF) says: Anytime he had a 3 am post that talked how he stepped or rolled over into something disgusting.
I have no idea what Tunch caught in the yard and ate, but if I had to guess it was a mole. Regardless, he decided to share it with me, without me having any say in the matter, as he climbed into my bed and vomited up what can only be described as thick, bloody, rotten viscous filth all over my comforter and sheets.
1.64. CaseyL says: The one where helicopters weren’t laughing.
2.41. FlipYrWhig says: I think this is the “helicopters weren’t laughing” thread â€” the one RSA flags above is a reference to it rather than a source for the original.
[Corrected below. This turns out to be a DougJ post. –RSA]
1.64. CaseyL says: There’s also one where he was getting ready to watch the Steelers, and posted a photo of Tunch on a Steelers towel, wearing a Steelers collar[Maybe this. –RSA]
1.64. CaseyL says: The Tunch Memorial animal welfare bleg, where we raised something like $13,000; for MARC, I think.
1.79. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: The generosity in supporting animal rescue outfits with the sales of his B-J store.
The idea that Tunch’s untimely and violent death is going to save so many animals and give so many cats and dogs the opportunities to live in loving forever homes has sparked another round of tears, but in this case, happy ones. I can’t than you all enough.
1.79. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: The trying to figure out how to climb out of his shell. The hiding from people yet suddenly posting the full-on picture of himself.
2.36. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: #79 — Cole Climbing out of his shell (part of a series):
You know, posting the picture of my fat mug a couple weeks ago was kind of quite liberating. It’s not like I have really been hiding anything- I’ve been pretty open I’m a fat, blonde haired, blue eyed, pasty skinned white guy. But for some reason I never posted a picture, because I guess I just feared the reaction or the inevitable photoshops. I guess I never realized that most of you are just as ugly and pudgy as me.
But that is neither here nor there, as there has been something else I have wanted to talk about for quite some time. I kept it a secret, not because it was the right thing to do, but because I guess I was scared I would be dismissed, or scared that maybe I was alone, or maybe because I just wasn’t ready to deal with it.
1.79. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: The thinking about adoption.
2.42. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: A comment in this post mentions JC thinking about adoption, but I can’t find the original post/comment about it. I know I commented about it at the time, but I can’t find that either. Maybe it got eated. :-(
1.79. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: The “real life in Bethany” posts.
2.40. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: #79 Real life in Bethany:
Here’s a great story about the town I was born in and then moved back to a few years ago:
1.85. Anne Laurie says: Anybody else remember Cole’s epic description of getting stuck on his own roof, after the ladder fell out of reach?
So my gutters need to be cleaned, because they are horribly clogged to the point that when it rains, it pours over the side and has started to dig a little hole in the ground from the waterfall that has been created. In addition to that, I am worried the constant water will damage the wood. So, little homemaker that I am, I decided to clean the gutters.
1.87. Aleta says: Descriptions of what he was like as a kid, and how his parents handled it; and that photo of the young kids
1.88. Hoosierspud says: Didn’t John used to hold a contest at the end of the year for readers to vote on their favorite comments? I loved those columns.
1.91. SoupCatcher says: Here’s search results for best comments (so I don’t trip moderation with too many links). First link goes to the year you remembered.
1.94. SWMBO says: This is one of my favorite posts about pets. He describes them in such a way to make you see them as animated soulful creatures and not some random pet pics on a blog.
Lots of bitching, pissing, and moaning about the lack of pet pictures, so I walked around the house and took some candids of most of the animals. I’m not going to even bother trying to photgraph my brother’s cats Speak and Whisper, who are here on vacation and crashing in the basement. I just know they are alive because there is shit in the litter box, their food and water bowls go down, and I don’t smell rotting flesh. They are that sketchy.
1.97. BGinCHI says: …here is one of my favorites, especially as a native son and then ex-pat of the state in question… Here is my initial comment on the post [below]: Those of us who grew up there and left have, generally, nostalgia mixed with contempt. I could never live there again, but there are things about it that are lovely. It’s a state that has produced all kinds of great people, from Cole Porter to Oscar Robertson. But like so much of America it is mired in backwardness and religious intolerance.
Let’s just be glad Mike Pence and the IN GOP’s slip is showing here. Seeing their true colors is valuable.
[BGinCHI offered to expand on this topic. Thanks. –RSA]
You’d think these troglodytes would learn that the rest of the world has moved on and won’t stand for this kind of discrimination anymore:
1.98. SG says: I happen to have bookmarked a bunch of Cole’s posts over the years, almost all of them on “life, the universe and everything” rather than politics. These are the writings that are pure John Cole in my mind.[I’m going to just copy links SG has provided. Thanks. –RSA]
A Day in the Life:
1.98. SG says: Following, to me, is the most extraordinary series of posts on the loss of Tunch, his grief and his gradual return to living. He might hate to hear it, but Cole’s honesty and wisdom shine in his writing:
1.127. CONGRATULATIONS! says: The Tunch posts, as brutal and hard as they are to read, absolutely need to be included.
1.100. kdaug says: Oh, and “cudlips”.
1.102. Pie Happens (opiejeanne) says: This is the thread I remember most vividly.
I am tired of being patient with you nannies and your stupid self-serving rules and your slippery slopes and your bullshit and your need to be tough on crime and your earnest concerns about society.
1.103. cosima says: All of the above & so much more. One that springs to mind (and even occasionally whilst chopping veg or similar as my mind wanders) was the one where he took the p*ss out of McMegan
1.116. cosima says: A tiny excerpt from the holiday kitchen guide post a la Cole:
That is a “knife.” With one of those, you can basically do anything you want in a kitchen. Yes, if you must, you can spend thousands of dollars on a knife for every occasion, but really, that is the only one you really need. It slices, it dices, it chops, it peels, it deveins, it skins, it carves- you can do pretty much everything with it, including slitting your wrists after reading the Atlantic.
1.106. Patricia Kayden says: From July 25, 2012 “Asshole of the Century” (About James Taranto’s rant against the men who tried to save loved ones during the Aurora massacre)
James Taranto, the WSJ rightwing nutjob whose job is the Best of the Web feature, which invariably means reposting whatever Glenn Reynolds or the halfwits at NRO write every day: [I hope the girls whose boyfriends died to save them were worthy of the sacrifice.] He is, of course, referring to the reports that a number of men used their bodies to shield their loved ones during the Aurora massacre. Most of us thought of this as a noble and amazing sacrifice, but to the American Taliban, these may have been slutty slut sluts who use birth control (or even worse, vote for Democrats!) and make their own decisions, so whether or not they deserved to be saved is up to wingnut judgment.
1.106. Patricia Kayden says: From Sep 9, 2015 “Who are These People?” (Reflects my views about the Clinton email “scandal”)
I am really so over the Clinton email issue. It’s pretty clear that nothing she did rises to the level of offense that should even damage her chances at becoming President. In my mind, it was stupid to not have multiple email accounts, and it was stupid to roll out some of the excuses (I didn’t want to carry two phones, etc.), but that’s about it.
1.106. Patricia Kayden says: August 19, 2015 “Living the Dream” (Hilarious account of how his men bits ended up on public display).
1.142. stinger says: But a collection wouldn’t be complete without the recent post telling how he, uh, wore short-shorts?
Today, I traveled to go to some meetings, and during a break I sat outside for a while on a bench watching people walk by and just generally enjoying the day. It was kind of hot and humid, but I was in the shade and had on my new shorts, and they were quite comfortable. Sat there for a good bit, checking my email, reading the news online, etc. After about a half hour, I went to scratch my thigh, and to my horror, discovered a testicle protruding from the left side of my shorts.
1.120. Aleta says: Also would like to see some of the posts with righteous anger at people and politics that despoil humanity.
I am firmly convinced it is only going to get worse from this administration and the nutjobs at the Weekly Standard. That is, unfortunately, a given, as we know how low they will go- as low as they possibly can. The only interesting question for me is how far will the lunatic fringe 28% crowd in the blogosphere go? How outrageous will the rhetoric have to get before the Malkins, the Hewitts, and all the rest of them say “Wait a minute- that crosses the line?”
1.122. shinobi42 says: Also, are YOU aware of all internet Traditions?
This may be the greatest thread in the history of the intertrons.
1.123. Starfish says: The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for hating Hillary Clinton while also hating Hillary Clinton
But you are obsessed, and it is has made you almost unreadable the past few weeks. Hell, at this point I would cheer five successive stories about Bear culture. Again, I am coming to you as a friend- I know we all get our little obsessions (see me and Sheehan, Schavo, etc.), but step away from the brink. Please.
1.123. Starfish says: The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for being an anti-abortion asshole
Most of you know how much I like Andrew Sullivan, and I’m not a fanatic about abortion either way. I’ll never have one, but I think it is none of my damned business what other people do with their medical decisions. I’m comfortable with our current law, which allows for people who dislike abortion to never have to have one. With that in mind, reading this from Sullivan just really irritated me:
1.123. Starfish says: The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for liking the Paul Ryan tax plan and suggests a much more elegant tax plan
The Ryan/GOP Plan, as has been pointed out to Sullivan a hundred times now with little to no effect, slashes taxes by trillions and makes up for those tax cuts by slashing trillions in services to our neediest members of society. For there to be “much more tax revenue in the plan,” all you would need to do is FUCKING NOTHING. NOTHING.
1.124. Luthe says: Also, his early Lily posts where he would censor her doggie nipples. Those were comedy gold.
Got home from work, opened the door to my bedroom to get Lily out of her crate, but there is no doggie there. I look up, and this what I found lounging on my bed:
I’ve taken the liberty of airbrushing out the naughty bits so we don’t have any NSFW problems.
1.129. Felanius Kootea says: Favorites: posts on Terri Schiavo, trip with AngryBlackLady and the tire rims and anthrax post… Least favorite post after he switched to being a democrat was one essentially berating whatsisname’s wife (the guy who hiked the Appalachian trail…)
1.132. pzerzan says: This was a real gem-
The funny thing about all of this is that no matter how bad all their ideas are, no matter how disastrous their governance has been, no matter how many horrible things they have done to the economy and this country, what really is killing the Republican party is that deep down, they are just complete assholes.
1.133. Kass says: One of my favorites that shows the commenters so wonderfully was the time Cole said that sometimes he couldn’t help thinking Reagan wasn’t such a bad guy… the barrage of facts that followed was an awesome education for him!
1.134. Paul Thoreau says: A favorite of mine is “Well, Of Course They Did”, which concludes with “How the fuck does an atheist lead a prayer?”
In a stunning 5-4 ruling along partisan lines, the Supreme Court today began chipping away at the separation of church and state:
1.136. Scamp Dog says: It’s not by Cole, but about him and chez Cole: an open thread from 2010. Somehow it captures the spirit of this place, and makes me smile. Plus it provides an illustration!
Farmer’s marketand a bunch of other stuff, then I have to go shopping for clothes, something I detest more than root canals. At any rate, TattooSydney sent this along- a little story he wrote:
The fat man, the fat cat and the barky dog.
There once was a fat man, who lived with a fat cat and a barky dog.
Well, the man said he was fat, and because many of the man’s friends had never seen him, they all had to take him at his word about that (and about the naked mopping).
1.139. Sandia Blanca says: Another recurring theme (don’t have a specific example in mind) is the whole phenomenon of pet-naming… This all falls into the broader category of “Cole trolling his own blog,” which is, of course, one of his favorite pastimes. And reading all the comments is part of that–of course he reads them!
2.43. I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says: #139 — Pet names:
Four potentials so far: Since he has ginormous whiskers and an extra finger, Rollie Fingers. His head is kind of shaped funny, so maybe McGee after famous badball hitter Willie McGee. Justin, after the large hairy Mountain Man and Steeler Justin Strzelczyk. Or maybe Mongo, just because I like that name.
1.143. ET says: I thought this was funny
Banner day for dog ownership around here. Thurston chewed through my headset earphones in several places, so even though they can be spliced and fixed, I have to sit very still because I have about 6 inches of spare cable left to maneuver. Then, went to the big city, stopped at Wendy’s for a diet coke, and the lady at the drive thru gave Lily a chicken nugget because she was so cute. Lily gulped it down and then threw up on my crotch halfway home.
1.146. prdallas says:
Of course they are crazy. Ross Douthat is just a hack who does his best to run cover for his dumber compadres, but they are all crazy. There is really no reason to debate this anymore. They deny evolution, many of them think the earth is only several thousand years old, they don’t believe in global climate change and adamantly don’t believe humans have anything to do with it, …
2.12. nickdag says: I loved Cole’s post on racism and being white. I really took it to heart and shared it with other (white) friends and colleagues. After all, who are we to describe someone else’s experience?
As a general rule when a black person or persons tell me something is racist or bordering on racist, particularly people I respect like ABL and TNC, I don’t argue. If I disagreed with them initially or just didn’t notice the racist aspect of something, what I try to do is just be quiet for a minute. Then I try to figure out what it is that made me not recognize something as racist. I’d say a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am a middle-aged white guy from a state with a small minority population, and I just don’t have the same experiences. Like I have said before, it wasn’t until ABL came on board here and I started seeing some of the truly awful things people write (and I promptly delete out of the spam filter so no one else, especially ABL, will see them), that I ever really thought about these things.
2.23. Bo Alawine says: I’m late to the game (and these have probably already been nominated), but my… most favorite…
You know the drill: global warming isn’t happening, if it is happening then it’s not caused by human behavior, if it is caused by human behavior then we can’t do anything about it, if it is caused by human behavior and we can do something about it, then that something is too expensive, if it is caused by human behavior and we can do something about it that is not too expensive, then that something is not what Democrats are proposing. And Al Gore is fat, he flies too much, look at his electricity bill, and sometimes when he goes somewhere it snows there, which is very ironic.
2.24. JPL says: There was a post when red kitten/krista was expecting her first child. The entire community was pacing the floors. I’ll see if I can find it.
2.26. JPL says: This is a link to the update about Krista but includes pictures of animals and such…
Also, below the fold, Redkitten has the play-by-play for her latest experience giving birth.
7:32: Whoa. These contractions are a lot stronger.
7:35: A LOT stronger.
7:36: Holy fuck.
7:38: Kill. Me. Now. Please.
2.33. schrodinger’s cat says: What about the Tunch post where he was at the vet’s with a Hannibal Lecter mask?
2.44. schrodinger’s cat says: I found the blind folded Tunch post
So we went to the new vet today, and Lily was a perfect lady and is in fine health. They all loved her, and she has put on a few pounds from last year. Tunch, on the other hand, bled people again and it ultimately had to go down like this:… The picture is blurry because he could still strike at any moment and actually nailed me once with the blindfold on, using only the force to guide his claws.
2.35. OzarkHillbilly says: Heh, love this closing paragraph to “Sayanora, Credibility”
What, exactly are we trying to accomplish, and why, exactly, should I be in favor of it? Other than Iraq and Afghanistan, which are going well and are a success (yet still works in progress), what have we accomplished? I’m serious. Remind me what we are trying to do here- why this is a good thing.
2.49. Aleta says: This is outside of what I think is the intent here. Sometime it would be cool to form a list, maybe even some pictures, of animals who came to their home because of even partial influence from BJ, Anne, John, and everyone else.
2.51. Birthmarker says: I also enjoyed the post by the pet rescuers in the South Pittsburgh TN area, where they explained exactly what they do with donations. Noble people doing difficult work.
2.55. J R in WV says: Here’s the first great political rant I found. Cole is going off on health care, back before ACA took effect:
What I don’t know for sure is if Brooks, Klein, Sullivan, etc. are cowardly careerist sociopaths, just plain stupid, or both.
Well, both, obviously, but I would add a couple more things- lazy, incurious, insulated, and well-rewarded for staying that way.
2.63. Sandia Blanca says: One of the highlights of this blog for me was when John came to Austin for a conference, and decided to meet us, his adoring fans. Here’s an excerpt:
a few people said thanks for all you do with the blog, and that always makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t do anything. Babbling incoherently on topics I am not an expert while dropping a few f-bombs and mentioning how much I love Tunch and Lily and Rosie and now Zsa Zsa (who doesn’t- they are fucking ADORABLE) doesn’t really feel like I am doing anything. You all do all the work. You’re the ones who donated to OFA, you all are the ones who have raised thousands of dollars for CAAR and MARC. You all did that, not me.
Note that reference to “Zsa Zsa”–that is an example of a pet whose name changed multiple times. And this has a bonus–it fits within the category described in Item 37 above by Tamara (BHF)–where he calls us all fuckers.