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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Bark louder, little dog.

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

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You are here: Home / The Value of Never Learning Anything

The Value of Never Learning Anything

by John Cole|  October 6, 20154:23 pm| 99 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes, Our Failed Media Experiment

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Apparently the Washington Post learned nothing from the New England Patriots, and decided to set up a feature where you can make your own Trump Hat:

Last week, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio decided to poke a little fun at Donald Trump by unveiling a branded ballcap of his own.

Instead of saying “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN,” as Trump’s hat does, de Blasio’s said — get this — “MAKE AMERICA FAIR AGAIN.”

At first we thought, Man, we can make better jokes than that. We thought, Let’s make hats for all the 2016 candidates. And then we thought, Well, actually, maybe we’re not that funny. And then we thought, You know who is funny? America. America is funny. I mean, mostly, anyway.

So instead of making our own hats, we’re going to invite you to make one — for yourself or for Bobby Jindal or for Martin O’Malley or whoever. So go make a hat.

I decided to make two.

make

madbitch

Make sure you tweet your hats to @pbump and @thefix

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Previous Post: « For A Good Time In Cambridge (This Thursday)
Next Post: Open Thread: Repubs in Disarray, Speaker Edition »

Reader Interactions

99Comments

  1. 1.

    BubbaDave

    October 6, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    I had to scroll back to the top to make sure this wasn’t a DougJ post.

  2. 2.

    Keith G

    October 6, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    That’s the John Cole that one time sent little starbursts through my monitor.

  3. 3.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 6, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    @Keith G:
    Does he have a musky smell and sun-tanned chaps?

  4. 4.

    Keith P.

    October 6, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    “I’d rather push a Bentley than drive a Rolls.”

  5. 5.

    gogol's wife

    October 6, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    I think “Let’s Make America Fair Again” is very good. But the problem is that any “Let’s Make America . . . Again” implies that Obama’s two terms have somehow made America worse, which I emphatically do not agree with.

  6. 6.

    RP

    October 6, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    How about: “It’s not his place”

    Or: “Sally Quinn works here”

  7. 7.

    Matt McIrvin

    October 6, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    John Kerry tried quoting Langston Hughes’ “Let America Be America Again” (which had those parentheticals about how it never actually was that America, for Langston Hughes).

    But he just got Red-baited for Langston Hughes being a commie rat bastard.

  8. 8.

    Turgidson

    October 6, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    “We’re Sorry About Jen Rubin”

  9. 9.

    Turgidson

    October 6, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    @Turgidson:

    or, perhaps

    “Oops, We Forgot George F. Will Even Worked Here”

  10. 10.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    “Baud! 2016!”

  11. 11.

    Bobby Thomson

    October 6, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Ombudsman Schmombudsman

  12. 12.

    RP

    October 6, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Watergate
    Bitches

  13. 13.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    @Baud: As your campaign manager, I have to advice you to go easy on the exclamation marks, or people will confuse you with Jeb!

  14. 14.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    Pravda
    on the Potomac

  15. 15.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    @Keith G: TMI

  16. 16.

    Sherparick

    October 6, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    @Turgidson: Our OPED Page Likes Climate Change Deniers

    Love the overall concept, except it should be “Our OPED Page Loves War”

  17. 17.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 6, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    As his campaign tr- enthusiastic online supporter, I must concur. Slow and steady wins the race.

  18. 18.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    But I use two.

    And I’m the one who doesn’t have W. campaigning for him.

  19. 19.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    I need a slogan as catchy as Trump’s.

    How about “Let America Be America”?

  20. 20.

    ShadeTail

    October 6, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    What does this have to do with the N.E. Patriots?

  21. 21.

    Gin & Tonic

    October 6, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: I’m often left wondering why the Soviet-style naming conventions never caught on in the west. How awesome would it be to walk past a newsstand and pick up today’s copy of Truth or News, or even Facts and Commentary. Instead you have silly names like The Sacramento Bee.

  22. 22.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    You know who is funny? America. America is funny. I mean, mostly, anyway.

    America to WaPo

    You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

  23. 23.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    @Baud:
    ‘You are already dead.’? No, that’s Fiorina’s.

    ‘But Mommy, it’s my turn!’ No, also taken. Hmmm.

    How about ‘Fuck you, I do what I want.’

  24. 24.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    Ben Carson has outdone Trump as the most idiotic candidate ever.

  25. 25.

    Roger Moore

    October 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    I went for the boring, predictable “Make The Post Great Again”.

  26. 26.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    How about ‘Fuck you, I do what I want.’

    Too John Cole.

  27. 27.

    Sherparick

    October 6, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    On Real Clear Politics, Ben Carson has now beaten Clinton in 3 national polls announced this week, including a CNN/ORC poll that gives him 51% of the vote. I think I am moving to Canada, although that is probably to close and he might invade to liberate Canada from their single payer nightmare.

    He is surging behind quotes like these:

    Does this sound crazy to you?

    “In one of his signature Facebook Q&As Monday night, Ben Carson again weighed in on the Oregon shooting, writing that he had operated on victims of gun violence “but I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away.”

    Yep, more horrible then the 5 year olds shot to pieces by Adam Lanza’s military assault rifle.

    http://nomoremister.blogspot.com/2015/10/ben-carson-may-soon-move-solidly-into.html#links

    Also, I expect he will call for the invasion of Australia and the U.K. to remove the tyrannical regimes that have taken away the precious gun rights of locals.

  28. 28.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    So you’re saying he’s ahead in the polls?

  29. 29.

    Starfish

    October 6, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    Their app strips all the punctuation.

  30. 30.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    @Sherparick:

    Tells you the value of polls right now.

  31. 31.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 6, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    @Baud:
    ‘Baud 2016: You can’t get less establishment.’

  32. 32.

    Felonius Monk

    October 6, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    Make WaPo Relevant Again? Was It Ever?

  33. 33.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    @Sherparick: Being ahead in a poll/s more than a year away from elections means nothing.

  34. 34.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    October 6, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Commies wear red hats. I don’t do twitter so its on face place.

  35. 35.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 6, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    @Baud:
    I’VE GOT IT.

    ‘Baud 2016: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet’

  36. 36.

    Roger Moore

    October 6, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:
    There are plenty of newspapers out there called The News or The Daily News, or something similar. I would argue that The Times is also a pretty good name for a newspaper.

  37. 37.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Shorter, for bumper stickers

    Baud 2016: Definitely Not The Man.

  38. 38.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Awesome. That may well be perfect.

  39. 39.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    That’s an ugly hat, Trump needs it to keep his hairpiece in place. Why is the Post giving him free publicity.

  40. 40.

    Redshift

    October 6, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    Shape of the Earth: Opinions Differ

  41. 41.

    Cervantes

    October 6, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Elitist.

  42. 42.

    Starfish

    October 6, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    Donald Trump has a trucker hat. De Blasio has a baseball cap.

    I think that Trump wins in real America because no one really cares about baseball except Mets fans and Red Sox fans, and they only care because “Yankees suck!”

  43. 43.

    dedc79

    October 6, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    WOODWARD and that other guy

  44. 44.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 6, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    @gogol’s wife: I don’t like it either, because fair could also be interpreted to be white, as in fair skinned and/or fair haired (blonde).

  45. 45.

    Snarkworth

    October 6, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    What’s an oped page? I’m not sure I know how to ope anything.

  46. 46.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:28 pm

    I’d wear a hat that said “Official WaPo Democratic Campaign Insider”.

  47. 47.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    @Snarkworth:

    It’s like a blog comment section except less intelligent and less funny.

  48. 48.

    MomSense

    October 6, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Shuck and cover

  49. 49.

    Roger Moore

    October 6, 2015 at 5:32 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    ‘Baud 2016: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet’

    Genius!

  50. 50.

    trollhattan

    October 6, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    O/T in western water warpolitics this is a BFD.

    Cadiz Inc.’s plans to sell Mojave Desert groundwater to Southern California communities have hit a major federal roadblock.

    In a long-awaited decision, the U.S. Bureau of Land Management says Cadiz cannot use an existing railroad right-of-way for a new water pipeline that would carry supplies from the project’s proposed well field to the Colorado River Aqueduct. By using the railroad right-of-way, Cadiz had hoped to escape federal environmental review of the 43-mile pipeline, one of the project’s most expensive components.

    But in a letter to Cadiz on Friday, BLM’s California director informed the company that it needs U.S. approval for a separate pipeline right-of-way over federal land. That would trigger review under federal environmental law, a potentially lengthy and costly process that could impose new conditions on the project.

    Cadiz has acknowledged that over the long term, the project will extract more groundwater than is replenished by nature. And federal scientists have expressed concern that the operation could dry up springs vital to wildlife on the nearby Mojave National Preserve and other public lands.

    Cadiz BTW is owned by limey Keith Blackpool, who is one of Arnie’s buddies and has been trying to exploit barely regulated California groundwater for years.

  51. 51.

    BGinCHI

    October 6, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Make America
    Fart Again
    We Love Beans
    Also get a load of
    How high my hat
    Is Holy Shit It’s like
    I have a silver platter
    Up in this bitch

  52. 52.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    October 6, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    @Roger Moore: Yes, I mean it’s all Latiny and all.

  53. 53.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    It’ll appeal to Latinos!

  54. 54.

    ShadeTail

    October 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    What does this have to do with the New England Patriots?

  55. 55.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    October 6, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    @Baud: I’m not the outreach dude for nothing.

  56. 56.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    You’re doing a stellar job.

  57. 57.

    Gin & Tonic

    October 6, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    @Roger Moore: I like them, Slavic-style, without the definite article.

  58. 58.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Maybe Cole should rename Balloon Juice Blog.

  59. 59.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    October 6, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    @Baud:
    Own-brand, plain-pack no-frills BLOG.

  60. 60.

    Patrick Thompson

    October 6, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    “I am a funny guy.”

  61. 61.

    Mike in DC

    October 6, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Make America Hate Again

  62. 62.

    Patrick Thompson

    October 6, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Also too:

    “Dickwhisperer”.

  63. 63.

    Warren Terra

    October 6, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    Celebrate Broder By Fence Sitting

  64. 64.

    Morzer

    October 6, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    @Baud:

    Baud 2016: Stand With Clippy!!

  65. 65.

    Morzer

    October 6, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    @ShadeTail:

    Brady Hat Trump

  66. 66.

    Morzer

    October 6, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    @Warren Terra:

    “Rockin’ A Fence-Split Ass 4 U”

  67. 67.

    A guy

    October 6, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    People who are out earning their keep are getting in the way of people who think it should be given to them. Fair?

  68. 68.

    A guy

    October 6, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Quit worrying about what others have and take care of yourself

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    October 6, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @A guy:

    You clearly haven’t seen the recent profits of daily newspapers if you think the Washington Post is “earning its keep.”

    And if you think Donald Trump, the guy who managed to go bankrupt running a casino, is “earning his keep,” I bet he’ll sell you that bridge in Brooklyn you’ve had your eye on. You’re clearly both the same caliber of financial genius.

  70. 70.

    Felonius Monk

    October 6, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @Baud: Fight Voter Fraud, Vote for Baud … Again and Again and Again…

  71. 71.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    October 6, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    Vote for Baud, Early and Often.

  72. 72.

    dollared

    October 6, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Home of Bibi’s
    Neocon Thugs

  73. 73.

    NotMax

    October 6, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Couldn’t resist a silly one.

  74. 74.

    dollared

    October 6, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @BubbaDave: I thought the same. Good for John to move from his usual outrage to a bit of snarky evil

  75. 75.

    A guy

    October 6, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    I’ve got a lot of respect for a guy who went bankrupt in any business and recovered. At least he is not afraid to get in the game. Most folks just sit on the sideline waiting for the government to give them something. Or wait for the trumps of the world to take the risk they can’t and give them a paycheck. I’ve practiced bankruptcy and reorg law for 26 years. I can honestly say I admire trump for never giving up. Be it ego or pride or whatever, he doesn’t stop. And he’s the type who contributes to making america great.

  76. 76.

    NotMax

    October 6, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    And one for Baud 2016.

  77. 77.

    Warren Terra

    October 6, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    You clearly haven’t seen the recent profits of daily newspapers if you think the Washington Post is “earning its keep.”

    ten or fifteen years ago when the crisis in newspapers started, newspapers were making enormous operating profits, twenty or thirty percent of revenues. This was disastrously insufficient not because of actual newspaper expenses but because the newspapers were highly leveraged and faced ridiculous capital costs. I assume the decline in subscribers and collapse in classified ads has changed this, but even so I distrust the newspaper industry when it complains about revenue – there is a long history of the industry making big money that then basically gets thrown on the bonfire instead of spent on reporting.

  78. 78.

    Baud

    October 6, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    @Felonius Monk: @Sm*t Cl*de:

    You two need to find middle ground.

    @NotMax:

    That’s beyond awesome.

  79. 79.

    Howard Beale IV

    October 6, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    No Red
    No Blue
    Go Green

  80. 80.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    October 6, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    @A guy:

    Dude, if you’re practicing bankruptcy law, YOU are making your money off the government. Your job wouldn’t even exist without the government. How stupid are you to not realize that and think you’re some kind of entrepreneur?

    Donald Trump inherited $40 million from his slumlord father and managed to go bankrupt anyway. And yet he’s your role model.

  81. 81.

    Ohio Mom

    October 6, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    @Warren Terra: My BIL and his wife are newspaper writers and what you said is what they’ve been saying for as long as I can remember.

    Well that, and a lot of putting down the Internet, which is only jealousy, really.

  82. 82.

    johncarter

    October 6, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    One Per Center:
    The kind you don’t like at first –
    but grow to hate.

    (Feel free to substitute something else instead of One Per Center – Republican, Fox, AIG, Monsanto etc)

    Or…

    Trump Pump:
    Bottom Feeder

  83. 83.

    Cervantes

    October 6, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    Donald Trump inherited $40 million from his slumlord father and managed to go bankrupt anyway.

    More than that.

    Moreover, his father, like many, lost a lot of money during the Depression — and was able to re-build his business only after obtaining subsidized loans from FDR’s FHA.

  84. 84.

    Cervantes

    October 6, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    @A guy:

    I’ve got a lot of respect for a guy who went bankrupt in any business and recovered.

    If you are, indeed, well-versed in bankruptcy law, then you know it would be more honest to say that Trump used the law in order to get out of his (inconvenient) contractual obligations. His bankruptcies did not just happen to him — he engineered them for profit. Nothing illegal — so why not be honest about it?

  85. 85.

    Christopher

    October 6, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    How about we just decode the original Trump hat:
    “Make America White Again”

  86. 86.

    Villago Delenda Est

    October 6, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    @A guy: It’s the way American Corporate society is structured, shithead. Parasites stealing from the people who do the actual work.

  87. 87.

    Roger Moore

    October 6, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    @Christopher:

    “Make America White Again”

    We don’t want to make it too white, or who will do all the grubby jobs white people don’t want to do?

  88. 88.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    October 6, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    @NotMax:
    Has anyone been appointed ‘Chairman of the Baud” yet?

  89. 89.

    ShadeTail

    October 6, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    @Morzer: I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that. Please explain.

  90. 90.

    Morzer

    October 6, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    @ShadeTail:

    http://time.com/money/4025415/tom-brady-donald-trump-hat/

  91. 91.

    BruceFromOhio

    October 6, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    @Sherparick:

    … including a CNN/ORC poll that gives him 51% of the vote…

    Link, please? Hunting CNN finds plenty of ORC polls from September, none mentioning Carson.

    In my own sample set, 0% of orcs would vote for Carson, favoring instead defeated candidates Walker and Saruman, 36/63, with 1% undecided.

  92. 92.

    Citizen_X

    October 6, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    @A guy:

    I can honestly say I admire trump

    Well, good for you, because he’s gonna beat the shit out of your little low-energy loser Jeb!

  93. 93.

    Citizen_X

    October 6, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    I know it’s not the same paper, but I would still go with “Suck on this.”

  94. 94.

    BruceFromOhio

    October 6, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    @A guy:

    At least he is not afraid to get in the game.

    He did go bankrupt. And how, exactly, did he recover so splendidly? Assets liquidated, creditors paid, and yet somehow Mr. Trump managed to bounce back quite healthy. Any interest in how that took place, and the context in which it occurred? Perhaps the smoke and mirrors are sufficient for entrepreneurs such as he, and the people who think so highly of him.

    Who, exactly, will cover his gold-platedness when he bankrupts America? That’s the easiest question you’re gonna hear all day, any day.

    Sucker.

  95. 95.

    Citizen_X

    October 6, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    @Citizen_X: Oops, mistook you for the other dumb troll. Sorry!

  96. 96.

    Doug!

    October 6, 2015 at 10:41 pm

    Both Sides Do It

  97. 97.

    pattonbt

    October 6, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    @ShadeTail: Besides the Brady / Trump hat thing. I think a few months (year or two) ago, the Patriots did the same thing where you could have a slogan / name written on a patriots shirt (on the Patriots Facebook or something) and people trolled it with same racist Boston memes (i.e. “I hate n*ggers”, etc. on a Patriots shirt online).

    I found this link (sorry my linking skills suck):

    http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/11/13/7218461/patriots-try-to-thank-all-their-fans-create-twitter-nightmare

  98. 98.

    BruceFromOhio

    October 6, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    @pattonbt:

    “Don’t put yourself at the mercy of the Internet’s stupidity.”

    Yeah, it sits at the end of bar, hollering at anyone who will listen, insisting the bar tab has been paid, shaking its fist at the world. Thanks for warning us, SBNation!

  99. 99.

    moderateindy

    October 7, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    @Trump used the law in order to get out of his (inconvenient) contractual obligationsCervantes:
    Exactly this. It is what is wrong with too many “businessmen” that think that exploiting the letter of the law , while ignoring the spirit, is just good business. It is not, it is unethical, and sociopathic, and it screws many people out of their hard earned money. Had dinner w/ a guy last night whose company lost millions in one of Donald’s manufactured bankruptcies.
    Yet fools like yourself admire scumbags like him.

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