Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Let there be snark.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

You are here: Home / The Value of Never Learning Anything

The Value of Never Learning Anything

by | 99 Comments

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Apparently the Washington Post learned nothing from the New England Patriots, and decided to set up a feature where you can make your own Trump Hat:

Last week, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio decided to poke a little fun at Donald Trump by unveiling a branded ballcap of his own.

Instead of saying “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN,” as Trump’s hat does, de Blasio’s said — get this — “MAKE AMERICA FAIR AGAIN.”

At first we thought, Man, we can make better jokes than that. We thought, Let’s make hats for all the 2016 candidates. And then we thought, Well, actually, maybe we’re not that funny. And then we thought, You know who is funny? America. America is funny. I mean, mostly, anyway.

So instead of making our own hats, we’re going to invite you to make one — for yourself or for Bobby Jindal or for Martin O’Malley or whoever. So go make a hat.

I decided to make two.

make

madbitch

Make sure you tweet your hats to @pbump and @thefix

Reader Interactions

99Comments

  5. 5.

    gogol's wife

    I think “Let’s Make America Fair Again” is very good. But the problem is that any “Let’s Make America . . . Again” implies that Obama’s two terms have somehow made America worse, which I emphatically do not agree with.

  7. 7.

    Matt McIrvin

    John Kerry tried quoting Langston Hughes’ “Let America Be America Again” (which had those parentheticals about how it never actually was that America, for Langston Hughes).

    But he just got Red-baited for Langston Hughes being a commie rat bastard.

  21. 21.

    Gin & Tonic

    @schrodinger’s cat: I’m often left wondering why the Soviet-style naming conventions never caught on in the west. How awesome would it be to walk past a newsstand and pick up today’s copy of Truth or News, or even Facts and Commentary. Instead you have silly names like The Sacramento Bee.

  22. 22.

    Baud

    You know who is funny? America. America is funny. I mean, mostly, anyway.

    America to WaPo

    You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

  27. 27.

    Sherparick

    On Real Clear Politics, Ben Carson has now beaten Clinton in 3 national polls announced this week, including a CNN/ORC poll that gives him 51% of the vote. I think I am moving to Canada, although that is probably to close and he might invade to liberate Canada from their single payer nightmare.

    He is surging behind quotes like these:

    Does this sound crazy to you?

    “In one of his signature Facebook Q&As Monday night, Ben Carson again weighed in on the Oregon shooting, writing that he had operated on victims of gun violence “but I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away.”

    Yep, more horrible then the 5 year olds shot to pieces by Adam Lanza’s military assault rifle.

    http://nomoremister.blogspot.com/2015/10/ben-carson-may-soon-move-solidly-into.html#links

    Also, I expect he will call for the invasion of Australia and the U.K. to remove the tyrannical regimes that have taken away the precious gun rights of locals.

  34. 34.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    Commies wear red hats. I don’t do twitter so its on face place.

  42. 42.

    Starfish

    Donald Trump has a trucker hat. De Blasio has a baseball cap.

    I think that Trump wins in real America because no one really cares about baseball except Mets fans and Red Sox fans, and they only care because “Yankees suck!”

  50. 50.

    trollhattan

    O/T in western water warpolitics this is a BFD.

    Cadiz Inc.’s plans to sell Mojave Desert groundwater to Southern California communities have hit a major federal roadblock.

    In a long-awaited decision, the U.S. Bureau of Land Management says Cadiz cannot use an existing railroad right-of-way for a new water pipeline that would carry supplies from the project’s proposed well field to the Colorado River Aqueduct. By using the railroad right-of-way, Cadiz had hoped to escape federal environmental review of the 43-mile pipeline, one of the project’s most expensive components.

    But in a letter to Cadiz on Friday, BLM’s California director informed the company that it needs U.S. approval for a separate pipeline right-of-way over federal land. That would trigger review under federal environmental law, a potentially lengthy and costly process that could impose new conditions on the project.

    Cadiz has acknowledged that over the long term, the project will extract more groundwater than is replenished by nature. And federal scientists have expressed concern that the operation could dry up springs vital to wildlife on the nearby Mojave National Preserve and other public lands.

    Cadiz BTW is owned by limey Keith Blackpool, who is one of Arnie’s buddies and has been trying to exploit barely regulated California groundwater for years.

  51. 51.

    BGinCHI

    Make America
    Fart Again
    We Love Beans
    Also get a load of
    How high my hat
    Is Holy Shit It’s like
    I have a silver platter
    Up in this bitch

  67. 67.

    A guy

    People who are out earning their keep are getting in the way of people who think it should be given to them. Fair?

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @A guy:

    You clearly haven’t seen the recent profits of daily newspapers if you think the Washington Post is “earning its keep.”

    And if you think Donald Trump, the guy who managed to go bankrupt running a casino, is “earning his keep,” I bet he’ll sell you that bridge in Brooklyn you’ve had your eye on. You’re clearly both the same caliber of financial genius.

  75. 75.

    A guy

    I’ve got a lot of respect for a guy who went bankrupt in any business and recovered. At least he is not afraid to get in the game. Most folks just sit on the sideline waiting for the government to give them something. Or wait for the trumps of the world to take the risk they can’t and give them a paycheck. I’ve practiced bankruptcy and reorg law for 26 years. I can honestly say I admire trump for never giving up. Be it ego or pride or whatever, he doesn’t stop. And he’s the type who contributes to making america great.

  77. 77.

    Warren Terra

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    You clearly haven’t seen the recent profits of daily newspapers if you think the Washington Post is “earning its keep.”

    ten or fifteen years ago when the crisis in newspapers started, newspapers were making enormous operating profits, twenty or thirty percent of revenues. This was disastrously insufficient not because of actual newspaper expenses but because the newspapers were highly leveraged and faced ridiculous capital costs. I assume the decline in subscribers and collapse in classified ads has changed this, but even so I distrust the newspaper industry when it complains about revenue – there is a long history of the industry making big money that then basically gets thrown on the bonfire instead of spent on reporting.

  80. 80.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @A guy:

    Dude, if you’re practicing bankruptcy law, YOU are making your money off the government. Your job wouldn’t even exist without the government. How stupid are you to not realize that and think you’re some kind of entrepreneur?

    Donald Trump inherited $40 million from his slumlord father and managed to go bankrupt anyway. And yet he’s your role model.

  81. 81.

    Ohio Mom

    @Warren Terra: My BIL and his wife are newspaper writers and what you said is what they’ve been saying for as long as I can remember.

    Well that, and a lot of putting down the Internet, which is only jealousy, really.

  82. 82.

    johncarter

    One Per Center:
    The kind you don’t like at first –
    but grow to hate.

    (Feel free to substitute something else instead of One Per Center – Republican, Fox, AIG, Monsanto etc)

    Or…

    Trump Pump:
    Bottom Feeder

  83. 83.

    Cervantes

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    Donald Trump inherited $40 million from his slumlord father and managed to go bankrupt anyway.

    More than that.

    Moreover, his father, like many, lost a lot of money during the Depression — and was able to re-build his business only after obtaining subsidized loans from FDR’s FHA.

  84. 84.

    Cervantes

    @A guy:

    I’ve got a lot of respect for a guy who went bankrupt in any business and recovered.

    If you are, indeed, well-versed in bankruptcy law, then you know it would be more honest to say that Trump used the law in order to get out of his (inconvenient) contractual obligations. His bankruptcies did not just happen to him — he engineered them for profit. Nothing illegal — so why not be honest about it?

  86. 86.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @A guy: It’s the way American Corporate society is structured, shithead. Parasites stealing from the people who do the actual work.

  91. 91.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Sherparick:

    … including a CNN/ORC poll that gives him 51% of the vote…

    Link, please? Hunting CNN finds plenty of ORC polls from September, none mentioning Carson.

    In my own sample set, 0% of orcs would vote for Carson, favoring instead defeated candidates Walker and Saruman, 36/63, with 1% undecided.

  92. 92.

    Citizen_X

    @A guy:

    I can honestly say I admire trump

    Well, good for you, because he’s gonna beat the shit out of your little low-energy loser Jeb!

  94. 94.

    BruceFromOhio

    @A guy:

    At least he is not afraid to get in the game.

    He did go bankrupt. And how, exactly, did he recover so splendidly? Assets liquidated, creditors paid, and yet somehow Mr. Trump managed to bounce back quite healthy. Any interest in how that took place, and the context in which it occurred? Perhaps the smoke and mirrors are sufficient for entrepreneurs such as he, and the people who think so highly of him.

    Who, exactly, will cover his gold-platedness when he bankrupts America? That’s the easiest question you’re gonna hear all day, any day.

    Sucker.

  97. 97.

    pattonbt

    @ShadeTail: Besides the Brady / Trump hat thing. I think a few months (year or two) ago, the Patriots did the same thing where you could have a slogan / name written on a patriots shirt (on the Patriots Facebook or something) and people trolled it with same racist Boston memes (i.e. “I hate n*ggers”, etc. on a Patriots shirt online).

    I found this link (sorry my linking skills suck):

    http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/11/13/7218461/patriots-try-to-thank-all-their-fans-create-twitter-nightmare

  98. 98.

    BruceFromOhio

    @pattonbt:

    “Don’t put yourself at the mercy of the Internet’s stupidity.”

    Yeah, it sits at the end of bar, hollering at anyone who will listen, insisting the bar tab has been paid, shaking its fist at the world. Thanks for warning us, SBNation!

  99. 99.

    moderateindy

    @Trump used the law in order to get out of his (inconvenient) contractual obligationsCervantes:
    Exactly this. It is what is wrong with too many “businessmen” that think that exploiting the letter of the law , while ignoring the spirit, is just good business. It is not, it is unethical, and sociopathic, and it screws many people out of their hard earned money. Had dinner w/ a guy last night whose company lost millions in one of Donald’s manufactured bankruptcies.
    Yet fools like yourself admire scumbags like him.

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