Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

We’re not going back!

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

In after Baud. Damn.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

The revolution will be supervised.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

The gop couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Please Allow Me to Introduce the Congressman who Represents Valley Forge

Please Allow Me to Introduce the Congressman who Represents Valley Forge

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TPM posted the MSNBC video of Arizona Congressman Trent Franks telling a reporter that what we need is a Valley Forge American to step up and become Speaker of the House. Fortunately for Congressman Franks, Valley Forge is mostly in the 7th Congressional District of PA so he doesn’t have to look hard for the one man that could fill his requirement.

Without further ado allow me to introduce Congressman Pat Meehan (R-PA) who represents the 7th Congressional District of Pennsylvania, which includes Valley Forge:

440px-Pat_Meehan,_Official_Portrait,_112th_Congress

I have no idea if Congressman Meehan is interested, nor if he would be a good Speaker of the House. But according to Congressman Franks he is THE only one who can do it.

Reader Interactions

117Comments

  2. 2.

    Amir Khalid

    Nice eyebrows! He’s better qualified to be Speaker than the random foreigner suggested in the last thread.

  7. 7.

    trollhattan

    @HumboldtBlue:
    He could never trade places with Congressman Franks, as he’d burst into flame in his first ten minutes of Arizona sun. Something I learned from “True Blood.”

  8. 8.

    benw

    No flag pin in his lapel. Why does he hate America? Also, Valley Forge is a lovely place.

    ETA: DAMN YOU, GIMLET!

  9. 9.

    dmsilev

    I think we’re looking just a bit too literally at the Valley Forge reference. Instead, let’s step back a moment and consider what was accomplished there. That basically marked the point where the Continental Army began to professionalize itself, thanks in part from expert help imported from Europe. Clearly, what the Congressman is saying is that the GOP needs to import a European expert with deep knowledge of their goals who can help them acquire the skills and organization needed to achieve said goals.

    Sepp Blatter is available.

  10. 10.

    MattF

    @Gimlet: I noticed the same thing. What is that on his lapel? I’ll bet it’s a Sharia pin. Or maybe a Kenyan flag. Or an “I’m a commie” button. Or something.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    At this stage of the Republican party’s game of “No, you be the Speaker!”, I suppose it couldn’t do them any harm to pick a Representative at random and just draft the poor sod.

  17. 17.

    dmsilev

    @Amir Khalid: Isn’t that what they’re trying to do with Paul Ryan? Who is backing away so quickly that I half expected to see a door with a Bugs Bunny-esque silhouette cutout in it from when Ryan ran through it. The Craigslist or monster.com approach might be more fruitful. Failing that, I imagine GOP leaders will sneak up behind some Rep, shoot him with a tranquilizer gun, and when the poor sod wakes up, he’ll find himself strapped to the Speaker’s chair with a surgically-implanted gavel.

  19. 19.

    Origuy

    I’m guessing “Valley Forge American” is a dog-whistle for something, but I can’t think of what. One thing I know about Valley Forge is that it was very cold and some of the men didn’t have proper shoes. Consequently, they got frostbite and lost their feet. Who in the House has lost their feet in wartime? Tammy Duckworth!

  25. 25.

    dmsilev

    @Origuy: It’s basically that the House reactionaries see _everything_ as an existential conflict and they’re looking for the most dramatic possible analogy. Next up will be St. Crispian’s Day references (“We few, we extremely angry few, we band of brothers…”) or possibly Thermopylae.

  26. 26.

    dmsilev

    @BillinGlendaleCA: That would probably be preferable to being Speaker right now.

    On the other hand…. Hmmm…. The Speaker gets a nice salary and a posh office. I’ll do it. I’ll get turfed out by the lunatics within a month or two, but a month or two wouldn’t be so bad. Especially since I wouldn’t give a shit about fundraising or anything like that.

  27. 27.

    mai naem mobile

    Trent Franks is a fvcking asswipe. He’s so obsessed with abortion it makes you wonder if he’s trying to assuage for a girlfriend’s abortion he paid for in his youth. He was a state legislator for years pushing anti-abortion legislation. Worst part is that parts of his district are in minority heavy areas of metro Phoenix and he could be beaten with a spectacular turnout in those areas.

  31. 31.

    Frankensteinbeck

    What part of Colbert’s 436 part series is this?

    @Origuy:
    I think it’s ‘We Republicans represent the actual Constitution and will of the founders, so we must have a hero as great as a Founding Father in our ranks who will save the day.’

  32. 32.

    Feathers

    What pops into my mind is the old Bob Newhart routine about gripers in the Revolutionary War – found it on YouTube – “Nutty George” from The Button Down Mind Strikes Again. The beginning is worth listening to, but the Revolutionary War starts at 1:50 with “Did you hear what nutty George pulled last night?”

    There was an essay online recently about how cell phones are making it difficult for children to tell what their parents are doing. She used to see her mother getting out her phone list, checking the calendar and then making phone calls. Now her daughter just sees her staring and poking at her phone. There is an opacity to it. Also, once her mother left, she could look at the calendar, she could look at the address book. She could double check on things. Now that’s gone. We don’t know what’s on other people’s phones or computers. We are just supposed to trust.

  33. 33.

    beltane

    I take the Valley Forge reference to mean that the Freedom Caucus plans to spend the upcoming winter barefoot in the snow and howling at the moon.

  34. 34.

    Amir Khalid

    From Meehan’s Wikipedia article:

    US District Court records prove that Meehan resigned rather than answer a Motion To Disqualify that established he blocked an FBI investigation of the Philadelphia office of the US Department of Labor Office of Workers Compensation(OWCP). When a veteran provided documentation to the Philadelphia FBI that documents were destroyed and forgery was used in a benefit determination Meehan covered up the violations of law.

    Meehan participated in the retaliation and cover-up due to the fact that the then Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao, wife of Mitch McConnell, authorized the illegal termination of the veteran’s benefits mandated by law. Meehan’s reward for the cover-up of his party leaders wife’s actions was GOP support.

    As a result the veteran was forced into bankruptcy, sheriff’s sale, foreclosure.

    Hmm.

  36. 36.

    Chris

    @Origuy:

    It’s not a dog whistle, just a generic American Revolution referenc, like the Don’t Tread On Me flags.

    He might have said “Congressman From Yorktown,” but then someone might remember the French.

  37. 37.

    Debbie

    @ruemara:

    At the Glenn Beck University of American History, it’s the point during the
    Revolutionary War when American Exceptionalism was born.

  38. 38.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Amir Khalid:

    I have an acquaintance, female, who has her eyebrows, eyeliner and lips all tattooed so she doesn’t have to bother with putting on makeup every day.

    ETA: But her brows are far more subtle than this guy’s.

  40. 40.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @SiubhanDuinne: The wife didn’t do the lips, but she had the eyeliner done as well. The problem is that after 10 years or so, you really need to get it redone cause tats fade(a concept lost on the young).

  47. 47.

    bystander

    Pat’s eyebrows just look Irish, that’s all. It’s the R-tag that makes him look like a duplicitous thief.

    I wish Trent Frank had been born during the Obamacare era. He might have gotten decent reconstructive surgery for the cleft palate/split lip issue instead of the mess he ended up with. Growing up in West Bumf*ck isn’t exactly the ticket to high grade medical care. Plus he’s a creep.

  49. 49.

    Librarian

    I think the Valley Forge reference means that the right thinks of themselves as the plucky underdog patriots fighting those evil liberal redcoats.

  50. 50.

    bystander

    Oh, and if anyone can explain the aesthetic attraction to tattoos and why everyone seems to have gotten a “sleeve”, please do. Is there some other period in history when so many people were attracted to this form of body modification? Was it just a logical extension to all of the body piercing that was such a fad? (Is there anything less attractive than a person with sink drain plugs in their earlobes?). Do any of these people realize what a tattoo looks like after 40 years?

    Signed,
    Just wondering

  51. 51.

    ascap_scab

    I nominate the gyro pilot who landed on the Capitol lawn a few months back to be Speaker. After all, it was a gyro pilot who led the people to the promised land in Mad Max. America is already a post-apocalyptic wasteland, amiright?

  53. 53.

    SFAW

    @dmsilev:

    possibly Thermopylae.

    Yeah, they could be like the 300 Spartans, except without the honor, or selflessness, or desire to save the nation, or willingness to fight a much larger opponent, or pretty much anything good associated with Leonidas* or Thermopylae. Of course, the 300 Rethugs in Congress are more than welcome to kill themselves, as a gesture of solidarity with the real Spartans.

    *Leonidas the Spartan, not to be confused with Leonidas the blogger at Scrutator, the possibly-a-parody-wingnut-but-who-can-tell-anymore blog that I believe is now defunct.

  54. 54.

    bemused

    @dmsilev:

    His eyebrows do seem quite dark considering his hair is white. Still a better look that the elderly gent I saw one day who had dyed his hair very black but didn’t seem to notice that his eyebrows should have been dyed too. They were pure white. I had a hard time not staring.

  56. 56.

    Ruckus

    @bystander:
    Maybe they don’t expect to be alive in 40 yrs. I had a few friends who didn’t make it into the second half of their second decade. And I’m still amazed that I made into the second half of my sixth decade.

  57. 57.

    Ruckus

    @bemused:
    Once knew someone with stark white hair (at 30 yrs old) who’s mustache was pure black. It was not a good look either.

  58. 58.

    SFAW

    @dmsilev:

    Could be Groucho Marxist grease paint.

    If it were, he’d have to say something like “I wouldn’t want to be Speaker of any House that would have me as a Member.”

  59. 59.

    trollhattan

    @Librarian:
    Guessing Frank Luntz tested it, where it finished ahead of Abattoir Americans, Sociopath Americans, Gunhump Americans and Spam-licking Americans.

  65. 65.

    Geeno

    Dude is using mascara on his eyebrows. That’s the only way I can see getting quite that look.

  68. 68.

    Cervantes

    @Origuy:

    I’m guessing “Valley Forge American” is a dog-whistle for something, but I can’t think of what.

    Franks didn’t just use the term. He elaborated: Paul Ryan, Jeff Miller, Tom Price, Jim Jordan, and Newt Gingrich — these are his “Valley Forge Americans” (at least to begin with).

    With the possible exception of Gingrich, if these men are noted for their perseverance, I hadn’t noticed.

  69. 69.

    Goblue72

    For the election junkies who may have forgotten, Meehan holds the seat vacated by Joe Sestak. Sestak was a twice elected Democrat to the House seat. He could have held onto it. Instead, his head got too big and he ran for Senate. In a primary against Arlen Specter, who had switched parties.

    Both Obama and Rendell begged Sestak to drop out. He didn’t. He won the primary. Then got defeated in the general by Pat Toomey, a GOP slime ball.

    Thanks Joe!

  70. 70.

    Baud

    Nearly seventy comments in and no one has inquired about the color of his pubes.

    You guys are Trump-level classy.

  71. 71.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Goblue72: I’ve read that Sestak doesn’t have much support from the state party, I guess that’s shy? and Toomey is a lot stronger than I thought he would be in current polls. I thought PA might be a Dem pick up target. Is Toomey popular or is it just early

  72. 72.

    Mike J

    @Baud: I was woodshedding a comment about how he dyes his eyebrows with whatever is left over from doing his pubes, but I could never get it to work.

  74. 74.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @bystander:

    Is there some other period in history when so many people were attracted to this form of body modification?

    Yes. Tattoos have a long and important history in just about every culture in every part of the world, along with various other body modifications. Personally, I can just about barely handle earrings, because it all emotionally reads like mutilation to me, but I recognize that my personal tastes don’t have a damn thing to do with the rightness of what anyone else does.

  76. 76.

    Goblue72

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: PA is a purple state outside voting for President. Regularly switches between a GOP governor and a Dem one. Ditto for control of state leg. Senior U.S. Senator Bob Casey Jr (Dem) is anti-abortion.

    I grew up there. Philly , Pittsburgh and a lot of Kentucky in-between.

  77. 77.

    Eric U.

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: PA voters have a strong preference for incumbents. It’s really annoying. You have to be Santorum level of fuckup before we vote you out of office. I’m afraid we may be stuck with Toomey for a while. He’s an idiot, but pretty quiet.

  79. 79.

    themann1086

    Hey, it’s my congresscritter. The 7th use to be Joe Sestak’s district, but I don’t know if it included valley forge before the latest round of gerrymandering.

  84. 84.

    MomSense

    @Baud:

    The usual expressions were failing me. We’re not really talking matching carpet and drapes here. Throw pillows?

  86. 86.

    bemused

    @Ruckus:

    Ah. Smart move. Too many guys won’t give up their look no matter how much teasing they may get. I’m talking about ridiculous hair pieces/wigs or really awful comb overs. Cough, Trump.

  88. 88.

    Ruckus

    @bemused:
    When anyone says comb over I remember a slightly older gentleman and his wife on a plane. He had three strands of maybe 15-20 hairs each, greased up and combed from left to right over what could only be called a cue ball melon. Worst comb over I’ve ever seen in public and I’ll include T Rumps flying blond squirrel. I very badly wanted to tap him on the shoulder and tell him how bad it looks but I’d bet his wife told him that every day. Which may of course be the reason he kept it.

  92. 92.

    Amir Khalid

    @bemused:
    What Trump has isn’t a comb-over. He has a full head of his own real hair. He just likes to style it in that weird way.

  93. 93.

    bemused

    @Ruckus:

    lol, yup, seen that too. Makes me wonder if they take a hand mirror and check out the back and top of their heads. Do they look and say, Damn, I look good?

  95. 95.

    bemused

    @Amir Khalid:

    Hmm. Heard someone was standing very close to him and took a good look and said, bad hair plugs.

    It is very unnatural looking even if it is his real hair.

  99. 99.

    Geeno

    @bemused: The rumor is a bad procedure to recover his scalp with hair growing skin. The scarring involved was too obvious and requires his weird partial/multiple comb overs.
    Is irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.

  100. 100.

    Ruckus

    @bemused:
    Hard to say. In my case I go with the minimum standard, Do I scare small children? Other than that I’m good to go.
    @WereBear:
    Well then ridiculous was what he was going for. We all have to accept what we look like, making that far worse doesn’t seem to me to be a winning strategy. But then I don’t understand piercing and tats either. I can appreciate the effort of good art but understanding why one would do that to themselves is beyond me.

  101. 101.

    bystander

    @Amir Khalid: Which is way weirder than just a combover. The guy’s hairdo is like some Hitchcockian obsession. It’s like Madeleine/Judy’s twisty hair, or Melanie’s schoolmarm do. Creepy.

  102. 102.

    divF

    @Baud: I know.

    The only reason you can’t run for VP as well is that there is no plausible argument that Baud and Baud are not from the same state. Otherwise, you could succeed yourself twice, thus providing impeachment insurance.

  103. 103.

    bemused

    @WereBear:

    Neither can I. If he wanted that flowing style, he could still have it with a hair stylist skilled in layering and he’s got the money to get the best. Women have cuts like that all the time. His hair doesn’t look layered, just long, long strands that look like a foot long when the wind has it way with it. I think he’s trying to hide the places where hair isn’t.

  105. 105.

    joel hanes

    @bystander:

    Many generations seem to need to embrace forms of self-expression that apall their parents.
    That’s one of their jobs. As a sapling, I had long hair that enraged my father and, frankly, looked like shit.

    Now I’m old; I figure my end of the bargain is to privately find most tattoos unattractive and all of them too permanent, and I’m doing a splendid job of living up to that assignment. That helps make them a bit transgressive, which (I guess) is most of the appeal.

    Tattooing and other scarification are among the oldest tribal affiliation markers. Apparently I’m a member of the large pasty-white and untattooed tribe.

  108. 108.

    Stacy

    My 12 year old daughter said “Wow, look at his caterpillar eyebrows! There uneven, like he tried to pluck one and then got bored and didn’t do the other one.” She mimed him plucking her eyebrows saying “Vote for Obama, don’t vote for Obama.”

  109. 109.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    As I recall, they never said a word about the music.

    Only because they didn’t know where Elvis got a lot of his early stuff. Well, strike that – it was your parents, not some conservative moron set of parents

  113. 113.

    Cervantes

    @p.a.:

    maybe they boil and eat their boots? destruction of gubmint property; or just a really odd way of privatizing gubmint property.

    As good a guess as any!

  114. 114.

    jl

    I think some of the House GOP caucus are certifiably insane. How can we get some of them committed for 72 hours for observation? Seems like the responsible thing to do, for their own safety and that of others.

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