Give three reasons why you should not be selected as the next Republican Speaker of the House. Here are mine.
1. When I try to dodge a global warming question with that I’m not a scientist baloney someone can call BS on me. Because in fact I am a scientist.
2. I can lie, cheat, steal or fuck a chicken. All at once? That’s out of my league.
3. Being a strict Biblical literalist, I might feel obligated to stone the first motherfucker who shows up wearing mixed fabrics*.
Your turn. Later we can vote on the least compelling set of excuses and that person will get added to the next slate of Speaker candidates. You could skip the thread and take your chances, but I don’t recommend it. A few months of this crap and Boehner might resort to a draft.
(*) Leviticus 19:19
JPL
Since Tim Cotton wants Cheney, maybe I should mention that I’ve never gone hunting, while drunk. Also I never shot a friend in the face, while hunting. I never owned a rifle.
sstarr
So about Leviticus 19:19 …. are polyester or spandex blends OK? I assume God is just furious about mixing the natural fabrics.
Richard Mayhew
1) My dog ate my homework
2) I like my family and want to see my kids without hanging my head in shame due to the company that I keep.
3) Vodka is not just for breakfast
Richard Mayhew
@sstarr: no those are never Ok, but for non-bibilical reasons.
Just Some Fuckhead
1. I’m renovating my kitchen.
2. The masturbation thing.
3. The masturbation thing.
Mudge
Me?
1. Having an affair with Renee Elmers.
2. Assisted Bernie Madoff.
3. Related to someone who has signed up for Obamacare.
EconWatcher
Fun! Here are mine:
1. While I’ve done some coaching, I’ve never molested any member of my team.
2. I’m usually sober until at least 4 pm.
3. I have never received extramarital oral pleasure in a parking lot during a break in hearings I’m leading to impeach the President for the same thing.
shell
I actually DONT want to blow up the government.
KG
1. I took an online quiz about whether I was a sociopath and it said I “probably wasn’t a sociopath”
2. I believe in the separation of church and state
3. I’m a single straight man, so it will be more difficult to determine if I’ve engaged in a sex scandal*
*honestly speaking, the odds of me having political power and not using it as a pick up line in Georgetown bars on any day that ends in “y” is probably off the boards.
KG
@EconWatcher: “usually”, “sober”, and “at least 4 p.m.” are words/phrases open for debate in DC.
Simon Taverner
1) I’m consumed with the conviction that “Chuck Todd” is an imperative, not a name
2) If elected speaker, the skeletons in my closet would act as a “Greek chorus”, loudly bewailing my every utterance on the house floor
3) I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die
Gator90
@Betty Cracker
And, just like that, it’s not quite as great anymore. Sigh.
Amir Khalid
1. I’m Malaysian.
2. Unlike Kevin McCarthy, the Republican party’s first choice, I speak English.
3. If I had a little wooden hammer on me, I’d look like a low-budget Thor.
Eric U.
I was trying to figure out why Balloon Juice locks up firefox. I think one of the advertisers is trying to figure out where I am, “locale services” Not sure why my comp doesn’t answer that question, but I’m about to install the disconnect plugin to see if that fixes it. Chrome doesn’t have this problem. If you look up issues like this on the Mozilla site, they know they have problems with the locale services, and offer some workaround.
Betty Cracker
@Gator90: It’s my fault, man. I brought on this calamity by finally getting excited about the season, making a jinx operational. Goddamn it!
AliceBlue
I thought Amir had already passed the test to be the Speaker.
EDIT: And I see he’s changed his mind!
Iowa Old Lady
I have to complain that I’m getting robocalls inviting me to meet Ben Carson this weekend.
benw
1. I love playing fetch and snoozing on the couch.
2. I really love petting and dinner time.
3. I am a dog.
Mathguy
1. I’m sane,
2. Not a goatfucker,
3. Have not committed blood libel.
Shakezula
1. My cats would not approve of all the reporters on the lawn.
2. I actually live in D.C. and don’t hate it.
3. Would not be able to control urge to shoot paper clips at Gohmert’s big, misshapen melon.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Eric U.:
FWIW, Balloon Juice and Firefox (on Windows 10) are working fine for me. I am running Adblock Plus.
shell
I insist on being sworn in with the Koran. Um, no, I’m not Muslim.
Comrade Dread
1. Guns: I support background checks, requiring gun liability insurance, a national register, criminal liability for gun owners whose weapons are used to commit a crime, making the NRA safety tips into laws, keeping guns from domestic abusers, stalkers, and the mentally ill, and a more robust national buyback program.
2. I want corporate criminals to go to jail, not pay fines.
3. I want to raise the top tier income tax, capital gains tax, impose a transaction tax on financial trades, slash and hack the Pentagon budget, and use the money to fund an extensive jobs program in the United States that pays a living wage, as well as provide money for public day care and preschools, fund a single payer health care system, and pay down the national debt.
Comrade Dread
@benw: I’d vote for you.
Brachiator
Here are mine:
1. I love Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace more than I love the baby Jebus.
2. I got no fvcks to give the GOP.
3. Like Captain Kirk, I do not believe in no-win scenarios.
4. Not good at following orders, so could not stop at 3 reasons.
benw
@Amir Khalid:
pics or GTFO!
scav
A. I speak French.
B. I believe in Gravity.
C. I like Trains.
Comrade Dread
@Simon Taverner:
I think that would be a plus with the Republican party.
Comrade Dread
@shell: Necronomicon, bound in human flesh.
Wally Ballou
Cloudy but warm on this late afternoon in SE Michigan, so I’m lounging on my balcony reading and listening to playoff baseball on the radio. There are far worse ways to pass the time.
Great comeback by the Royals this afternoon. Trailing by four runs going into the 8th inning of an elimination game, they were able to tie things up before the Astros recorded an out.
The Blue Jays, also facing elimination on this Canadian Thanksgiving, jumped to a three-run lead in the first. Noyce.
narya
1. I am an atheist. And I was raised by atheists.
2. I agree with Comrade Dread on the guns.
3. And with the Comrade on the taxes, though possibly not on the Pentagon thing; we’ll need to hash that out before we run for office. I definitely want to get rid of the flying Swiss army knife, and I definitely want to repair the infrastructure.
4. I believe in public schools. Year-round. Well-funded. Well-paid teachers.
benw
@Comrade Dread: making a dog the Republican speaker is animal cruelty. Woof!
Peale
1) My first act would be drafting legislation to surrender unconditionally to Aruba. I’m tired of our ongoing war and figure it’s time for us to man-up and apologize.
2) I do not brook colleagues who get caught up with minor details like committee assignments and office locations. Cubicles for everyone (except the speaker, of course).
4) I’m not very good at math, including counting. I would never call for a roll call vote if it meant I had to keep track of numbers higher than five.
lgerard
1. I don’t own a firearm to wave around haphazardly in defiance of all obvious safety considerations
2. I believe that the 10 Commandments should be displayed in corporate boardrooms, not schools
3. I am unwilling to display my ignorance in public hearings and committee meetings
Ajabu
Here’s mine:
1) To my everlasting joy, I’ve never actually known a republican personally. (Well, I’ve probably met some but I’m from the Caribbean and they would have been on the down low. They tend to keep that shit to themselves in the islands…)
2) I’ve been married to the same woman for 24 years and never felt the urge for any trim on the side.
3) One of my uncles – a drummer with no other skill set (runs in the family) – got through the entire depression playing drums in the park for the WPA.
? Martin
1) I would secretly disburse ebola in my first meeting with the Republican caucus and then adjourn so representatives could fundraise for 3 weeks.
2) You don’t want to know about 2.
3) You don’t want to know about 3.
Calouste
1. I wouldn’t let any Republican-sponsored bill be brought up for a vote unless they pass a bill abolishing the 2nd amendment first.
2. I would prominently publish the names of Representatives who miss votes and committee meetings, and how often they do it.
3. I would make the House work something resembling a 5-day, 40-hour week.
boatboy_srq
Here goes:
1) My husband (assuming I ever get one) wouldn’t allow it.
2) I understand that family finances and the federal budget bear no resemblance one to the other.
3) Being (slightly) older than five, I don’t take kindly to children throwing tantrums instead of doing their homework and eating their vegetables.
Baud
Rick Perry could not pass this test.
(Oops.)
Mike in NC
(1) Pretty sure that the Earth is more than 6000 years old and not flat.
(2) Believe that women over the age of 15 shouldn’t be kept in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.
(3) Suspect that invading and occupying Iran might not be a complete cakewalk.
? Martin
@Baud: There’s our winner.
Chris
1) I know how many homes I own.
2) I can name the newspapers I read.
3) I CAN’T see Russia from my house.
4) I can actually pronounce “Uzbekistan.” AND I know who its president is.
Big R
1. I aspire to the federal bench rather than the back bench.
2. I have been photographed in Albert Einstein’s lap (I was in college, I was young, I was stupid).
3. I once stopped going to a Chinese restaurant because I noticed that they had a lot of stray cats around, but never the same ones twice.
boatboy_srq
@? Martin: If you were President I’d hate to be your Surgeon General.
Chris
@Ajabu:
You’re not missing out on # 1.
Baud
1) I’m a Democrat.
2) I’m a liberal.
3) I’m going to be the next President of the United States.
Peale
Other things I’d do
1) I’d replace c-Span and c-Span 2 with channels devoted to Thai TV series and pornography of my colleagues’ choosing.
2) Do you really want to know what kind of porn your representative is into?
3) Instead of the Bible, I would swear in on the holy book of my people. Which you infidels refer to as “the screenplay to Frozen.”
Baud
@Peale:
All of them, Katie!
dmsilev
1. I was born in France, grew up in Massachusetts, and have just moved to California. I think I’ve hit the liberal geographical trifecta with that history.
2. Like Tim F., I am a scientist.
3. I promise that my first act as Speaker would be to use that mighty ceremonial gavel in a somewhat less ceremonious fashion. It would in fact become the Hammer of Stupidity Smiting. And I would preside with it as often as possible.
Chris
@Peale:
# 3 – when your enemies spend an absurd amount of time being outraged by your choice of holy books, I hope you tell them to just let it go.
Baud
@Richard Mayhew:
Too late. You’re a front pager here.
benw
@Peale:
Come on, man, it’s time to let it go.
ETA: DAMN YOU, CHRIS.
Chris
@benw:
Beat you to it.
ETA: loooooool.
JPL
@Betty Cracker: This is good news for GA. Greer is appealing though.
Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA
1. Iggy the Wonder Schnauzer deserves to hear his shrieks echoing in the halls of power.
2. Muppet, SP/SCF (Semi-Poodle/Secret Caffeinated Ferret), being mildly psychotic, would fit right in.
3. I could use the vacation time.
ETA: Whoops. I thought it was “give reasons why you SHOULD be elected.” Long day. I need several naps.
seaboogie
1. I think Nancy Smash is scary – as in scary good, and would work across the aisle with her on every bill, every time.
2. I’d put on an “I’m NOT with STUPID” shirt, with arrows pointing in both directions and make sure that I was there anytime a Freedom Caucus member was being interviewed.
3. Baud! 2016! as party whip – with an actual whip.
dmsilev
@Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA: That gives me an idea of where to find an actual nominee for the position. Back when Illinois Governor Blago was booted out of office for trying to auction off Obama’s old Senate seat, someone suggested appointing their border collie to the position. I think that would work well here; I’m sure GOP representatives would be much more controllable and docile if there was a herding dog nipping them on the flanks until they moved in the right direction.
RK
1. White isn’t my favorite color
2. I don’t exalt power and greed
3. See 1 and 2
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
1) I would insist upon being sworn in by affirmation under penalty of perjury rather than on a holy book
2) I have a (nearly) working command of standard American English and thus would sound unintelligible to the majority of US House members
3) I’ve always preferred to believe an insane adventure should contain elements of actual fun
Germy Shoemangler
Brachiator
Who says Canadians don’t know how to party? They are apparently combining early voting with Halloween.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34508336
Much more fun than voter suppression.
trollhattan
Okay, so this is West Virginia’s version of a Democrat?
BC in Illinois
For Brachiator, Narya, Peale and Chris . . .
Thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached . . .
then all hell breaks loose.
feebog
1. I actually know that Hungria is not a country.
2. I think the “Hastart” rule is something a pedophile made up one day while fondly gazing at a page’s backside.
3. My calves actually are the size of a cantaloupe.
Schlemazel
I actually would make a good SotH and should be given the job!
1) I believe the 2nd amendment as written (people who show up for the monthly drills on the village green should own as many muzzle-loaded muskets as they want!!)
2) I believe the Teahadists and American Taliban should run free in the halls of Congress and let their full list of demands be publicly proposed and voted on.
3) I have no further ambitions for public office so when the loonies come for me with their knives drawn I won’t cry (they had best be wearing their Kevlar undies but don’t need a crying towel)
Further I promise to never ever compromise with President Baud, he and the Senate will just have to run the country without us.
FlyingToaster
1. I’m from Massachusetts — worse, Watertown, Massachusetts.
2. I have both an AARP card and an 8-year old.
3. I can do math (well, up to calculus, diffEQ and linear algebra).
4. Don’t really give a fuck whether someone calls me a socialist.
Brachiator
@Germy Shoemangler:
So, when this woman says, “I’m about to get medieval on your ass,” she is not just quoting Marsellus Wallace in “Pulp Fiction.”
Fred
1) If nominated I will not run.
2) If elected I will not serve.
3) I got nuthin’.
CzarChasm
1.) I am male and have long hair without being a libertarian.
2.) I am deeply in love with my hetero partner of 14.5 years, and we have just had our first child, a daughter. It goes screwball when I mention that we’ve been co-habitating this whole time without being married (and currently still living in sin).
3.) I work with the intellectually disabled, and don’t look down on them as either Takers, moochers, or afflicted by God for unknowable sin.
Roger Moore
1) I’m an atheist
2) I would demand to be called “Speaking Dude” instead of “Mr. Speaker”
3) Somebody would notice I was reading Nancy Pelosi’s cue cards
gogol's wife
@Eric U.:
I’ve given up trying to read it on Firefox. I use Chrome or Safari.
Chris
@BC in Illinois:
One! Two! Five!
seaboogie
@Brachiator: I love Canadians for their earnestness, progressiveness, and sense of humour (Canadian spelling).
I lived there for 25 years and most of my family still resides there. My favorite party – the Rhinoceros Party – is now defunct, but they were a gas….here is a link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada_(1963%E2%80%9393)
Roger Moore
@Chris:
Three, sir.
Thor Heyerdahl
@seaboogie:
Actually they’re back since 2007 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party)
Some of their promises include (from Wiki)
Reform the retail lottery scheme by replacing cash prizes with Senate appointments
Seat the Queen of Canada in Buckingham, Quebec (their official site says that they’ll also privatize her)
Nationalize Tim Horton’s
Move the national capital to Kapuskasing, Ontario
Guaranteed monthly orgasms
Ian
@Comrade Dread:
Preach it brother(or sister)! sounds like a great (democratic) speaker of the house.
Chris
@Roger Moore:
Three!
Omnes Omnibus
@Thor Heyerdahl: Monthly?
Jeffro
@Mudge: #1, omg, you too?
And here I thought I was special …
seaboogie
@Omnes Omnibus: A very Canadian trait is their restraint, but also willing to include orgasms at all is quite progressive. And do notice that they did not specify that orgasms are only for the fellas while they regulate the hell out of what woment can do with their bodies like here in the US.
In fact, this article of the platform was probably written by their distaff wing, and might could represent an increase in their annual orgasm tally – as in “do you fellas even KNOW what you are doing down there?”
Thor Heyerdahl
@Omnes Omnibus: It’s designed to confuse the religious conservatives, with 5 children who have had sex 5 times in their life but never an orgasm.
Just Some Fuckhead
@? Martin:
You too, huh?
Omnes Omnibus
@seaboogie: @Thor Heyerdahl: It seemed like over promising to me.
A guy
1. I’m too smart to be a politician
2. I think abortion and the death penalty are bad
3. I’m too smart to be a politician
Schlemazel
@Roger Moore:
There is a place online where you can buy your own Holy Handgranade of Antioch!
http://eurobrews.com/shop/holy-hand-grenade/
Bill Arnold
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Well, it could be that 2,3 are his (secret) backup plans if 1 doesn’t work.
seaboogie
@A guy: I think I hear your mother calling – time for dinner.
SiubhanDuinne
@Germy Shoemangler:
Oooh! Do you have a link for that, please? I’d love to share it with a medieval history group I follow on FB. Thanks!
redshirt
1. Sold my soul for a keg in 1988
2. First concert was Starship
3. Once wore all denim outfit
Suezboo
1. I am a British citizen permanently resident in SAfrica – that should confuzzle the birthers.
2. I dislike all organised religion.
3. I believe women should be in charge of everything.
4. I am the same age as Hillary and they think she is Too Old.
5. The list goes on on on
catclub
I think the article at Washington Monthly – about another article – about the long view successes of Obama’s foreign
policy, is a big deal.
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal-a/2015_10/president_obama_a_grand_strate058050.php
redshirt
@Suezboo: Do you have diplomatic immunity?
danielx
1. Don’t believe government is responsible for all evils.
2. This issue where I start frothing at the mouth when I detect willful ignorance and stupidity.
3. Do not believe the baby jeebus will cry if Ten Commandments tablets are removed from public property.
Richard mayhew
@Baud: they have low expectations of me not no expectations
Suezboo
@redshirt:
No, I am always hoping to be deported so that I can visit the Home Planet but they just toss my UK ass in jail. Every damn time.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
1. I’m queer, but prefer my liasons in bed with my wife instead of with random individuals in public restrooms.
2. I think birth control should be free and easily accessible, and guns should only be available in clinics where the buyer has to walk past a gauntlet of placard-waving protesters, then have a psychological exam, a 72-hour waiting period, signed parental permission, and a random unnecessary medical procedure.
3. I actually know what’s in the Bible.
WereBear
1) I can count to one thousand and have done so once.
2) Believe that cats over the age of five should be allowed to vote.
3) I have the ability to be nice to anyone for fifteen minutes.
Grumpy Code Monkey
1. I don’t give a fuck about the party;
2. I don’t give a fuck about your party;
3. Fuck it, let’s party.
Acetaria Caesar
@seaboogie: The Rhinoceros Party is still alive. I invite you to follow our campaign. Almost alla rticles about our candidates can be read on https://www.facebook.com/riki.rhino
Seanly
1) I am sliding more & more to the left of the Democratic Party
2) I am an engineer (usually a plus for Republicans) but I know the following:
a) we need to raise the gas tax to repair our infrastructure
b) we need to institute additional carbon taxes or cap & trade to address climate change
c) we need to reduce our military spending
d) let’s go ahead and have socialized medical/dental/mental health care for all
e) lots of job training and a minimum guaranteed income
f) women should have autonomy over their own bodies
g) corporations are not people – CEO’s are and can go to jail
3) Go back over my list in #2 to emphasize all those points again
seaboogie
Okay, so since this is an OT, here is another link – Duggar related – to choose why you might not want to be SotH (sorry for the Huffpo link): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/law-and-order-svu-duggars-episode_561bc543e4b0082030a3278a
and my reason number 4:
I believe in consenting adult whatever you wanna do sexy-times, not in intra-family creepy groping nor intra-mural sports buggery with a minor, with babby Jesus forgiving me, and please send money.
mclaren
1) I’m sane.
2) I can form a coherent sentence.
3) My amygdala is normal size and is not misfiring to send me into non-stop frothing purple-faced uncontrollable rage, .
A guy
4. I’d never vote for a Muslim for president
seaboogie
@mclaren: Hmmmm….Imma give you number two, but the link on the third point is kind of disturbing, and didn’t you recently invoke Hitler/Holocaust on a recent post?
seaboogie
@A guy: Dinner is getting cold – hurry home!
mclaren
Seriously — doesn’t this sound exactly like the Republican party?
A guy
Seaboogie- I heard your mom calling. Wanna know what I heard?
mclaren
@seaboogie:
Can you please provide a specific quote with a direct link to my alleged post?
A tiny minority of people on this forum have accused me of vague enormities, but always fail to provide hard evidence. When we observe a pattern of people claiming “mclaren said [fill in the nebulous smear]” and then a request for evidence always results in dead silence, an objective observer knows what’s really going on.
seaboogie
@mclaren: @mclaren: Lemme see if I can do it, link-wise:
https://balloon-juice.com/2015/10/07/and-todays-worst-person-in-the-world/#comment-5508259
We were both disagreeing with Omnes, but you pretty much took it to the nth degree, thereby shutting down a dialogue with what felt like hard-core vitriol. I was agin him too on this point, but neither was I with you in how you expressed yourself.
seaboogie
@A guy: No surprise there – I’ll give you her number – you’ll be a peach of a pair.
mclaren
@seaboogie:
I criticized Omnes Omnibus’ reasoning by using an analogy. You might not like the analogy, but it was on point, and highlighted the reasoning error Omnes made. I stand behind the analogy I made.
Omnes was claiming that because there was no legal mistake made by a judge who jailed an abused wife for failing to show up at a trial of her abusive husband since the wife was terrified of him, that therefore the judge’s atrocious ruling was fine ‘n dandy.
Here is exactly what Omnes said:
This reasoning is sociopathic because the question we need to ask in this instance isn’t “What was the judge’s legal mistake?” but “What was the judge’s ethical mistake?” The judge’s ethical mistake was flagrantly obvious and grotesque. The judge in effect wound up punishing the victim for being victimized.
I would remind you of the legal maxims “He who seeks equity must do equity” and “Equity delights in justice, and not by halves.” In making that atrocious ruling, the judge flouted both of these long-standing legal maxims. A judge who seeks to enforce equity must do equity; by punishing the victim for the crime of being victimized (so shell-shocked by her abuse that she was afraid to face her abuser in court), the judge failed to do equity. The judge should have been punished for her ruling, not the abused woman for suffering from PTSD. And, second, the judge ignored the basic legal maxim that we must seek justice rather than merely the rule of law (i.e., we must follow the spirit rather than the letter of the law) and that we cannot do it by halves. Once again, the judge ignored these fundamental legal maxims in order to apparently gratify her own sadism.
The specific analogy I made was: “Reliably sociopathic. Next, you’ll defend the Nazi atrocities because they were all legal in the Third Reich at the time they were committed.” This is a precisely correct analogy because it obsesses over the letter of the law to the complete exclusion of the spirit of the law. Under the third reich, many atrocious things were legal, and it was of no use to defendants at Nuremberg to whine “But we were only following the law” because justice resides in the spirit rather than the letter of the law. That is exactly the same discredited legal argument Omnes was making here: the judge was just following the law, so what’s the problem?
That legal defense was demolished at the Nuremberg trials. Therefore it is perfectly appropriate to point out that fact here.
A guy
Seaboogie- nice please gimme number
Original Lee
1. I would require members of the House to show up for 90% of the floor votes. If they claim illness, they would have to produce a doctor’s note saying exactly what was wrong and how soon they’ll be back. Violators would be the first ones rounded up by the sergeant-at-arms for quorum.
2. Members would only be allowed to place holds on 3 bills per session, period. After 1 month, their names would be added to a list scrolling at the bottom of the screen on C-SPAN, with the bill number and the reason for the hold, and their office phone number.
3. I would commute from Belgium and therefore require the House to maintain the Belgian time zone.
seaboogie
@mclaren: Hokay…well, you finally got your specifics from me. Your initial anology – that you expanded upon greatly here – was probably not grasped by most, including me.
In this – your most recent explanation – you expanded upon an ethical point, that – in a discussion with Omnes – probably should have been fully expressed. You should not assume that everyone knows the argument in your able brain. When you express yourself, it is often to readers like me that it ends with the bang of a gavel, rather than a period at the end of a sentence – like a decree – and it doesn’t seem to be serving you well, per your prior message.
You have intelligence and passion, but your comments are often imperious and impatient, and seem designed to just shut everything down, which then excludes you from the dialogue – except for negative references.
Do you have it in you to chill a bit, listen and toss a few well-aimed softballs without hitting the batter in the head to make your point?
seaboogie
@A guy: You are twelve years old, aren’t you?
Omnes Omnibus
@seaboogie:
That’s the kind of “enormity” mclaren states that no one can substantiate. Just saying.
seaboogie
@Omnes Omnibus: Got that. Thought I’d do a little outreach, anyway.
redshirt
@Omnes Omnibus: It’s obvious hyperbole.
Omnes Omnibus
@redshirt: And?
PaulW
1) I’m not crazy enough, sad but true.
2) I want government to work.
3) I’m too busy promoting the Democratic debate drinking game I wrote.
4) I have a hard time following instructions.
5) I only have the first two volumes of Sunstone and not the whole collection of graphic novels. Shameful.
jl
Sorry, I decided I DO want to be Speaker of the House and get down and crazy with the GOP House Caucus.
So, I submit three reasons why I should be GOP Speaker using exemplary GOP logic
1) is greater than the ohters
2) See number 1
3) ???
Ruckus
@shell:
I’d go for the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue.
Or Catch 22.
I am an atheist.
I don’t drink but I could start again if I was forced.
Or elected speaker.
redshirt
@Omnes Omnibus: It’s obvious hyperbole.
Cervantes
@Baud:
You’re not suggesting that’s a syllogism, are you?
Shantanu Saha
1. I am a public school teacher and so, for education.
2. I am a member of a public employees’ union.
3. My first act as Speaker would be to summon all Republican members of Congress, campaign bundlers, lobbyists, and corporate chieftains to a grand strategy session, and announce my grand strategy: to have the doors locked from the outside, and have the exhaust of 500 Volkswagen “clean diesels” piped into the chamber to see how this would affect the Masters of the Universe.
redshirt
@Shantanu Saha: 3. You would die too?
Omnes Omnibus
@redshirt: yes, and it was brought up in response to mclaren’s self-righteous and self-pitying statement of this:
divF
@Thor Heyerdahl:
I went to a Tim Horton’s for the first time last year when I was visiting Toronto. My host insisted that we have coffee (dreadful!) and a box of Tim’s Bits. Imagine my relief when I found that the latter were just doughnut holes.
mclaren
@Omnes Omnibus:
Considering Omnes Omnibus’ track record of defending truly indefensible atrocities, I think it’s reasonable to suggest that Omnes has a great deal of sadism and probably gets off on the suffering of others.
Omnes has repeatedly defended Obama’s drone murders of innocent bystanders, including U.S. citizens like Anwar Al-Awlaki and his son — U.S. citizens never accused of any crime, never indicted, never charged, never arraigned.
Omnes more recently defended the genuinely despicable behavior of a judge who punished a beaten wife for the offense of suffering from PTSD.
It seems to me that this pattern of behavior speaks to a deep sadism on Omnes’ part. I intuit a direct link between Omnes’ habit of gloating over the suffering of innocent victims, and the kind of sadistic quasi-sexual gratification some of the worst people in our society have exhibited in response to the suffering of others.
Is it outrageous for me to point this out? I don’t think so. In fact, we need a lot more people pointing out and decrying the lack of mercy or basic empathy in America today, in 2015.
Writer Charles Stross seems to me to have put it very well when he said:
Source: “Merciless,” Charles Stross’ blog, 23 August 2009.
If what I said to Omnes shocks people, good. We need to get shocked and woken up to the obscene lack of basic human decency by a lot of the people in American society who (like the lawyer Omnes claims to be) ought to be upholding those basic values.
Bruce K
1) I have never discharged a firearm … that was less powerful than a battle rifle.
2) I believe there are some things that society is obligated to do, e.g. help its less fortunate members, that can’t be effectively handled by an unfettered free market.
3) I’m out of the country.
4) I’m not so great at following orders.
5) I’d be tempted to use my gavel to try to knock sense into recalcitrant legislators.
Silver Wolf
Interviewer: Can you do a better job than the last guy to hold the position?
Me: That’s a pretty low bar. I think I can confidently say I could improve on his performance.
Interviewer: Get the #%!^& out of here you commie!!!!! Next!