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You are here: Home / Stolen Derp

Stolen Derp

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Not quite Stolen Valor:

Wayne Simmons, a recurring guest on Fox News who claimed to have 27 years of experience with the CIA, was arrested Thursday after being indicted by a federal grand jury on charges that he lied about his service.

Simmons is accused of falsely claiming that he worked as an “outside paramilitary special operations officer” for the CIA from 1973 to 2000. On Fox, this was often shortened to “former CIA operative.”

He was also indicted for using that false claim to gain government security clearances and an assignment as a defense contractor, where he advised senior military personnel overseas.

Simmons made his initial appearance in court on Thursday afternoon. If convicted, he could face up to 35 years in prison on charges of major fraud against the United States, wire fraud, and making false statements to the government.

Simmons is a familiar face to Fox News viewers. After the arrest was announced on Thursday, Fox News spokesperson Irena Briganti told CNN that he “was never a contributor for Fox News,” and that he appeared on the network only as a non-paid guest. She therefore declined to comment further.

Simmons’ web site describes him as a “terrorism analyst” for Fox and a consultant to various government entities.

While it is unknown how often Simmons has appeared on television over the years, Fox’s web site lists dozens of appearances and quotes, usually labeling him a former CIA “operative,” “analyst” or “officer.”

Here are some selected readings of Wayne’s bizarre beliefs courtesy of Media Matters.

Reader Interactions

90Comments

  1. 1.

    Patricia Kayden

    How shocking that a Fox News guest has been caught lying!! But they’re so fair and balanced.

  5. 5.

    Jeffro

    Cue the conspiracy theorists…FEMA re-education camps are right around the corner, this is how it starts…

  6. 6.

    the Conster

    Has Fox ever done anything other than lie and obfuscate? What else do they have, other than to make shit up and use lying liars to make more believable sounding shit up in order to keep their dumbfuck viewers enraged?

  8. 8.

    SFAW

    @Hal:

    Ah, but some experts have devoted years to the study of Obummer’s suckitude, starting with his helping the CCCP “beat” the USofA in the 1972 gold-medal basketball game at Munich, his ordering his National Security Adviser to prevent the CIA, FBI, NSA, and BFD from sharing information that might have prevented the 9/11 tragedy, continuing through to his completely botching the response to Katrina. As I write this, they’re also looking into whether he convinced Neville Chamberlain to let Hilter annex the Sudetenland

    Thank FSM that Fox is here to prevent Obummer from any more fiascoes, like the ACA. .

  11. 11.

    Hungry Joe

    Simmons. Hmmm. Has anyone seen Jeff Gannon/James Gluckert lately? I don’t remember exactly what he looked like, but …

    Unrelated but weird: I swear that yesterday I heard an NPR anchor, on the Lamar Odom story, ask a field reporter if she knew “why Odom went to the brothel, what he was doing there.” I did not drive off the road, but it was a near thing.

  14. 14.

    Starfish

    He was also indicted for using that false claim to gain government security clearances

    Ok, I understand why lying to the government is a crime; but if he gained security clearances by lying to the government, isn’t that some failure on the part of the government in doing their background checks?

  15. 15.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @Hungry Joe:

    yesterday I heard an NPR anchor, on the Lamar Odom story, ask a field reporter if she knew “why Odom went to the brothel, what he was doing there.”

    Last night, ABC News did a story on Odom. Said he was taking herbal supplements (“natural” viagara) and they reported a large number of emergency room cases caused by herbal supplements. This was followed immediately by a commercial for herbal supplements.

  17. 17.

    philpm

    After the arrest was announced on Thursday, Fox News spokesperson Irena Briganti told CNN that he “was never a contributor for Fox News,” and that he appeared on the network only as a non-paid guest. She therefore declined to comment further.

    It must actually be true if Fox is going to this length to let him go down in flames alone.

  18. 18.

    Chris

    Huh. I remember a guest on another right wing media outfit (PJMedia) that was like this. The PJMer interviewed a man, sitting dramatically in the shadows with his face too dark to see like Deep Throat, who was presented as a former member of the intelligence/security community and was gravely explaining that the Obama administration was exposing our secrets to known jihadist front organizations who had been invited into the agencies in the name of enforcing political correctness against Islamophobia.

    I knew the entire thing was a farce. I’m just now wondering if Wayne Simmons was that “Deep Throat” character. Sounds like his brand of bullshit.

  20. 20.

    Germy Shoemangler

    No matter what happens, Wayne’s mission is accomplished.

    All the things he said on Fox were sent out online and repeated a million times by RWNJs on every corner of the internet. In every comments section of every online local news source. In the comments section of every conservative and progressive blog.

    And half the country believes everything he said.

  22. 22.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @Peale: Groucho Marx said he knew a woman who was very religious. She wore an ankle bracelet that said “Heaven’s Above”

  23. 23.

    Keith P.

    This is some AWESOME schaudenfraude. I remember so many of Wayne Simmons greatest (worst) hits, so this makes them all worth it.

  24. 24.

    kc

    Link doesn’t work.

    He was also indicted for using that false claim to gain government security clearances and an assignment as a defense contractor, where he advised senior military personnel overseas.

    Maybe the feds should arrest themselves, for being dumb enough to give security clearances and assignments to a fraudulent blowhard.

  25. 25.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @pb: Matt Taibbi has a talent for creating nicknames; as talented as Charles Pierce. From the rollingstone article:

    Speaking of Trump: The orangutoid

  26. 26.

    Amir Khalid

    @Jeffro:
    Candidates shouldn’t get to dictate the debate rules. The RNC and CNBC should call Trump and Carson’s bluff, and just hold the rest of the debates without them. If Trump gets all snitty and does that third-party run — well, people suspected all along he was planning to do that, so fuck him. If Carson complains and/or drops out, fuck him too.

    But I expect the RNC to cave.

  27. 27.

    Calming Influence

    As a vet, this kind of shit makes my skin crawl. I was never in combat. I served in the Air Force not long after the end of the Vietnam “conflict”, in a capacity that put me in close contact with members of the other services, so I was exposed to a lot of first-person accounts of fear, danger, death, and heroism. I would publicly claim that I invented the wheel before I would claim combat experience. To do otherwise would be despicable. What this asshole was doing is no different.

  30. 30.

    catclub

    He was also indicted for using that false claim to gain government security clearances and an assignment as a defense contractor, where he advised senior military personnel overseas.

    Somebody did not actually do the security clearance investigation.

    UP until I read that, I thought there could be no crime for saying he worked for the CIA.
    So he lied on the form but nobody checked? wow.

  31. 31.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Starfish: It is a head scratcher; all investigation tiers include employment history checks, even for low-level clearances.

    Friends in high places, I guess. Who should also be facing indictments.

  32. 32.

    mystical chick

    How is it possible he got clearance with that load of BS? Did he get read in, somehow? Hubs has clearance and geez, he had to go through a TON of background checks. Why don’t I understand how things work for lying liars?

  33. 33.

    bemused

    House GOP busted on Benghazi and now Fox on this fraudster. May this be a frequent, ongoing trend. Wingnuts don’t watch or read anything but wingnut media but this is big enough news that they will eventually hear about it. Not that they will necessarily believe it.

    @philpm:

    Not a contributor, only a non-paid guest. That’s some very narrow parsing there by Fox. According to Media Matters, he was a frequent guest.

  34. 34.

    Rich (In Name Only) In Reno

    Next thing you know, they’ll be telling us that some of Fox’s guest commentators weren’t really Christians.

  36. 36.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    @Peale: There is never a wrong time to quote-check Casablanca, maybe the most quotable movie ever..

    Well played.

  38. 38.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @catclub: The time lag on application for a clearance and granting is measured in months to years. The pressure to get them out the door must be tremendous on the relatively tiny pool of investigators, and it’s made worse by the idiotic over-classification of fucking everything as a prophylactic cover collective asses measure. Every fucking radio operator in the Army, for example, needs to at least have a CONFIDENTIAL clearance, the lowest level, to handle their operating instructions which tell them what the day’s callsigns and frequency assignments are.

  40. 40.

    MattF

    @mystical chick: My guess is that he got a high-level clearance a long time ago, and then found friends in high places who helped him keep it. After you get the initial clearance, there’s periodic reinvestigaitons but they are generally perfunctory and handed off to contractors.

  41. 41.

    Gimlet

    Even more

    7http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wayne-simmons-arrest-cia_561fd787e4b028dd7ea6fd43

    An online biography claims that, at the CIA, Simmons “spearheaded Deep Cover Intel Ops against some of the world’s most dangerous Drug Cartels and arms smugglers from Central and South America and the Middle East.” His website states he has been a terrorism analyst for Fox News since 2002. The biography also claims Simmons was “one of the first outside Intelligence officers” to visit Guantanamo Bay in July 2005.

    In court documents, federal prosecutors alleged that Simmons had a “significant criminal history, including convictions for a crime of violence and firearms offenses, and is believed to have had an ongoing association with firearms notwithstanding those felony convictions.” They successfully petitioned a judge to keep Simmons’ indictment sealed until his arrest today, noting that Simmons “has a history of acting in an aggressive manner, and is likely aware of the imminent nature of the charges in this case.”

    Federal authorities allege Simmons falsely claimed he was recruited by the CIA and that his previous arrests and criminal convictions “were directly related to his supposed intelligence work for the CIA,”

    He has discussed a wide range of issues on the network, including CIA interrogation techniques and, ironically, a former CIA official found guilty on fraud charges. He is a member of the “Citizens Commission on Benghazi,”

  42. 42.

    Gimlet

    He also claims Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly reported on his exploits in the ME, Central and South America but were requested not to use his name to protect his cover.

  44. 44.

    bmoak

    Obviously, Barry Hussein Obama used his NSA-ISIS operatives to erase all records of Mr. Simmons’ lengthy patriotic service! To the barricades!

  46. 46.

    gelfling545

    Everything else on Fox is BS so why should what he says have to be true? Personally, I doubt anything from that source, including when they state the date & time.

  50. 50.

    SatanicPanic

    Doesn’t this kind of shit bother FOX watchers? I’d lose it if it turned out Richard Mayhew didn’t actually know anything about healthcare policy, for instance.

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @SatanicPanic: Well, Richard talks a pretty good game, and his writing communicates, at least to me, that he has some knowledge of the word salad he tosses.

    There are other alleged “experts” out there that when they open their pie holes, I instantly detect BS.

    Of course, none of this bothers Faux Noise watchers. They want to hear what they want to hear, and Faux delivers.

  54. 54.

    redshirt

    I have a hippy writer friend who was asked to do a bit on Fox News and he turned it down and I was like “WHAT?!?!?!”.

    Fox News has no standards. On purpose.

  57. 57.

    redshirt

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Except for the idiocies covered in the Daily Show and an occasional Shep Smith rant, I have not watched much Fox News.

    Watching some Fox News is important for anyone who cares about America. Know your Enemy.

  59. 59.

    Pithy Pseudonym

    @Gimlet: Ah, that may explain some of the charges. If he didn’t ‘fess up to the arrests & convictions on his clearance paperwork, or, if he tried to pass them off as the result of CIA employment that never occurred, that’d be a crime.

  60. 60.

    Jeffro

    @Amir Khalid: Neither one of them is going to drop out of the race anytime soon, and certainly not over this. The problem is, anything that gives them a reason to air their grievances, make themselves out to be martyrs, only boosts their support.

    The RNC should give in on this one – they seem like pretty minor points to me anyway – and then work to set up any/all future debates, wherever they aren’t already locked in on the details, to Trump’s and Carson’s disadvantage.

  62. 62.

    Soonergrunt (mobile)

    My two security clearance investigations were extensive to the point of them talking to people I knew in high school.
    How this guy got any kind of clearance, even a provisional is beyond me.

  63. 63.

    Pithy Pseudonym

    Also, the HuffPost article clarifies that he was granted an “interim secret” clearance, which indicates that if he had held a clearance previously, it had lapsed and he was going through the initial process. If nothing immediately comes up early in an initial investigation, the Government or a contractor’s Government sponsor can petition for an “interim” clearance, which may or may not actually be useful — a lot of ‘secret’ information isn’t shareable with those who only have a “interim secret” clearance.

  65. 65.

    redshirt

    @Pithy Pseudonym:

    Seeing Mayhew on Fox News.

    I can see it. Blind them with science and facts. Make them cut you off while calmly reciting statistics. Push them back.

    If I ever go on Fox News, I’m pulling some kind of stunt.

  66. 66.

    Kathleen

    @Hungry Joe: You are not alone. Many times while listening to NPR while driving I’ve either almost driven off the road or ended up screaming epithets at the radio.

  67. 67.

    rikyrah

    Singing while black: Oakland choir threatened with ‘nuisance’ fines after tech workers enter neighborhood
    BETHANIA PALMA MARKUS
    15 OCT 2015 AT 17:00 ET

    Members of a black church choir are blaming an influx of affluent tech workers for their group facing thousands of dollars in fines.

    Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in West Oakland received a cease-and-desist letter from the city threatening them with $500 a day in fines plus a $3,500 nuisance fee, CBS San Francisco reports. Church members believe the sudden complaints about the choir are due to the fact the area is becoming gentrified.

    “Kind of hard to believe because we’ve been here about 65 years in the community and all of a sudden we get some concerns about the noise,” Thomas A Harris III, the pastor at Pleasant Grove, told the local CBS station.

    The church just happens to be in a neighborhood full of the Victorian homes that characterize the Bay Area, and they’re being snapped up by wealthy tech industry workers, church officials told CBS.

    “Those persons who are just new arrivals should not come and try to change the culture that existed before they arrived here,” George Holland, president of the local NAACP branch, told CBS. “We cannot have people come attack churches about music.”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2015/10/singing-while-black-oakland-choir-hit-with-nuisance-fines-after-tech-workers-enter-neighborhood/comments/#disqus

  68. 68.

    Soonergrunt

    @Pithy Pseudonym: An “interim secret” clearance would be granted to anyone who was under investigation for a secret clearance once the very beginnings of a background investigation had been started.
    A military member would be granted an interim secret clearance immediately upon assuming the duties for which a secret clearance was necessary and having filled out the forms to begin the process.
    An interim secret basically means the subject isn’t one of the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted.
    As you pointed out, a holder of an interim secret clearance would not have access to anything particularly dangerous to national security.

  69. 69.

    mclaren

    Isn’t it fascinating that a thug like this faces 35 years in prison for lying about his alleged government service, whereas the CEOs of giant banks that lied about subprime mortgage loans in order to criminally defraud people of trillions of dollars faced no jail time at all?

  70. 70.

    mclaren

    @SatanicPanic:

    I’d lose it if it turned out Richard Mayhew didn’t actually know anything about healthcare policy, for instance.

    Wait for it. The headline will arrive…

  71. 71.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Starfish: @kc: @catclub: @Grumpy Code Monkey: @Villago Delenda Est: @Soonergrunt (mobile): I figured it was easier to respond to these related comments all at once. I have, unfortunately, some experience with folks claiming credentials they don’t have, getting clearances, and doing work for the Army. I will say that I was involved in a couple of investigations as a subject matter expert to vet claimed academic/professional credentials – both for initial hire and in a couple of post hire investigations where fraudulent credential claims were involved. This includes at least one individual who’s entire list of credentials and bona fides was bogus (the SES who hired him protected him after we completed our investigation to cover his own ass and even though we turned everything over to CI as he had repeatedly asked in general and then me specifically about information he not only didn’t need to know, but wasn’t cleared for anyway, as far as I know nothing ever happened to him). I’ve also helped the appropriate senior personnel and staff officers at a 4 star command both identify the problem and draft vetting protocols.

    While I don’t want to go into the details, for a variety of reasons, there are several related issues here:
    1) Perhaps the single most important thing to keep in mind is that if the person that wants you to work for them wants you to get the clearance, that carries a fair amount of weight. I can’t prove this and I can’t point to it in a regulation, but it has both been told me by enough senior officials that I have no reason to doubt it.
    2) If the person, as Mr. Simmons was, is doing work as a contractor then it is up to the contractor to vet the credentials. I have yet to see any indication that any contracting company, no matter how big, actually requires someone turn in transcripts to validate education. When I first went to work for the Army we were all contractors as the program was a pilot (proof of concept). I kept digital copies of my transcripts on a thumb drive and later a CD after the former were banned in case anyone needed to see my credentials. This was especially important as it took me two years to get one of the people before me in the program terminated for claiming to have a doctorate when that person didn’t – took me five minutes in her presence, two phone calls, and 1/2 an hour on the internet to confirm that. Took me two more years to get it resolved properly… And I keep both digital and hard copies of my Official Form 69/Civilian Mobilization Orders for my time at USAWC and my Letter of Authorization as a contractor with TRADOC prior to that, as well as my most recent gig this past summer. If a question ever arises, I have the proof.
    3) My experience is that even the uniformed contracting officers don’t check credentials. I’ve been told repeatedly its on the contractor to vet the resumes and credentials before they put someone forward. So as far as they’re concerned if someone is pushed forward by a company, then they’ve been vetted (usually not so much). Additionally, I’ve watched people claiming doctorates flim-flam flag officers, senior executives, senior field grades, and senior NCOs. The rest of us clearly could tell that the person didn’t have a doctorate – there are tells for every discipline and even across them, but unless the uniformed or senior civilians had doctorates, they couldn’t spot the incongruities.
    4) It all depends what the person put on their SF 86, which as many here know is the baseline form/questionnaire for getting a clearance started. If they accurately filled out the SF 86, but afterwords talked about having credentials or doing jobs they’ve never had, then it wouldn’t have necessarily been picked up on the initial screening, though it would probably come up on a rescreen.
    5) It also depends on the level of clearance.
    6) We need to remember that there is an ongoing criminal investigation into one of the principal companies that was contracted to do the background investigations. This was prompted by the Snowden stuff.
    7) It also depends who – as in assignment/duty station/job – the clearance is for. At my last assignment, when I was being in processed, I had to fill out certain forms for the special security office (SSO). These are routine when being read back onto certain clearances when one changes duty stations as you’re often read off when you out proccess at your last assignment. I had to do an additional fifteen pages of documentation because I checked a box on the initial form and indicated in the narrative space below it that I had checked the box because it was part of my assigned duties in my previous assignment. That explanation is supposed to make this type of thing a non-issue, in fact the instructions to filling out the form state this. However, the SSO where I was in processing wanted extended documentation. So extended documentation I provided.
    8) Finally, given what this guy was doing, it is amazing that someone hadn’t tumbled to it. This does happen. What I’ve learned is, that unless some real major criminal activity or security breach occurs that a) no one cares enough to do anything about it; 2) provided the person is in line with the statement of work (SOW) for the contract, then nothing can be done as it would breach the contract without cause; and 3) someone upstream is protecting them. So the takeaway from this, for most people that might deduce that something hinky is going on, is that the only real risk is sticking their own necks out.

  72. 72.

    chelsea530

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Joe Wilson and his wife, an actual CIA agent, were shut down because of their views about Iraq.

    This jerk actually flourished because he was all too willing to make a buck towing the Bush administration line.

    And continued to flourish because of that.

  74. 74.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Adam L Silverman:

    So the takeaway from this, for most people that might deduce that something hinky is going on, is that the only real risk is sticking their own necks out.

    Requoted for emphasis. A lot of this has very little to do with the actual regulations and guidelines and everything to do with the “political” (in a non-partisan sense, of course) ramifications of exposing something. When you strike at the king’s minion, be sure to take off his head! :P

  76. 76.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Villago Delenda Est: Unfortunately. Part of it is the zero defect concept: one error/mistake and a career is over. In other cases, like the Senior Executive I referenced, it was clearly covering his own tukhas, no matter how much damage the staffer wound up doing. And he did a lot because he had no idea what he was doing. Of course if someone showed up claiming to be a colonel and they weren’t, there’d be hell to pay…

  78. 78.

    Adam L Silverman

    @chelsea530: That is, in my experience, all too often the case. I have seen numerous quality people run out and/or gotten rid of because the kiss ups and the people that had wormed their ways into positions of trust were able to get rid of those that could call BS. Or simply because they were willing to take the risks that others wouldn’t and this made them uncomfortable.

    My former Commanding General (CG) used to call those who wouldn’t push back or throw a BS flag or even just ask the penetrating what if/so what question the Legion of Frightened Men. It drove him nuts. I can tell you from personal experience that the LoFM will do anything to keep those who aren’t afraid to speak up from doing so.

  79. 79.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Adam L Silverman: Reminds me of stories about George C. Marshall where he’d chew out his staff for not questioning his own reasoning for whatever issue was on the table. He wanted constructive criticism of his own thinking at all times.

  80. 80.

    PaulW

    How many months/years has he been invited onto the Fox network?

    AND NOBODY DID A BACKGROUND CHECK?

    I’m more worried about the report that he got government clearance at some point. Someone there screwed the pooch big time.

  81. 81.

    PaulW

    Dear MSNBC or CNN or BBC America News:

    I am perfectly available as an expert consultant. I am someone with brain cells, which qualifies me more than anybody who fails the background checks at Fox Not-News.

    I await your call.

  82. 82.

    Cervantes

    @Hungry Joe:

    I swear that yesterday I heard an NPR anchor, on the Lamar Odom story, ask a field reporter if she knew “why Odom went to the brothel, what he was doing there.”

    NPR’s slogan:

    The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.

    Courtesy of Edward R. Murrow.

  83. 83.

    Pithy Pseudonym

    @Soonergrunt: Thanks for the additoinal info. At my place of employment, The Powers That Be decreed we’d never deal with “interim secret” clearances. I basically found out about them when I was in our break room, perusing some info about a delegation that was due to visit us. “Interim Secret?!? What the f@ck is that?!?” I said, apparently a little bit more than under my breath. Our office’s security guy chimed in with, “It means he doesn’t have a clearance.”

    An interim secret basically means the subject isn’t one of the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted

    Or, as our security guy says, it means you haven’t murdered anyone on a federal installation in the past 30 days.

  85. 85.

    Another Holocene Human

    @rikyrah: Of course that’s ridiculous, but this is not a new trend. My old parish church in Boston only had houses near it in the uphill direction, and most of the inhabitants were parishioners. But, in the early 1990s, an abutter moved in who either sued or threatened to sue the church for ringing church bells.

    I wonder now what the details were but they abruptly stopped ringing church bells on any day but Easter.

    (I’m wondering if the church wasn’t in the right legally but didn’t have the resources to fight it. Why didn’t super Catholic Bernard Cardinal Law pay out of his overflowing bishopric coffers? So many questions.)

  86. 86.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Adam L Silverman:

    That is, in my experience, all too often the case. I have seen numerous quality people run out and/or gotten rid of because the kiss ups and the people that had wormed their ways into positions of trust were able to get rid of those that could call BS. Or simply because they were willing to take the risks that others wouldn’t and this made them uncomfortable.

    True in civilian too often as well!

  88. 88.

    Crouchback

    Bear in mind Simmons hung around a number of Very Important People during his years as an “analyst.” He got Rumsfeld to tweet and blurb his spy novel which also got a good review in the Washington Times from a retired general. There were a couple of retired admirals on that Benghazi committee he was part of. So if you were doing a half assed Google search on the man you would notice 1. a lot of people who should know better took him at face value and 2. Simmons seem to have some pretty influential friends. Both of those factors could discourage anyone from asking questions – it might be unhealthy for your career.

    If you can, check out some of his essays particularly at Human Events. He likes to include tales of manly adventure from his days as a CIA operative fighting narco-terrorists and such. It’s priceless. The Washington Times review of his spy novel is also delightful especially since the reviewer is a retired general who should know better. It’s pretty obvious the con ran so long because so many on the right loved the idea of a manly secret agent who confirmed their world view.

  89. 89.

    Pithy Pseudonym

    @Crouchback: I like how on his website he has a link named, “General’s Conclude Obama backed Al-Quida”

    Such professional. Much copyediting.

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