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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Preparation is the Key to Success: Halloween Edition

Preparation is the Key to Success: Halloween Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  October 30, 20158:48 pm| 42 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Just in case something goes really, really wrong between now and tomorrow night, I thought it was prudent to direct everyone to Field Manual (FM) 999-3: Counter Zombie Operations at the Fireteam Level*.

Stay alert! Stay alive! And if necessary: Strike Hard!

FM 999-3 Counter-Zombie Operations at the Fireteam Level

* I actually used this in the US Army’s first Warfighting Exercise in 2012. I was temporarily assigned control (TACON) as the Cultural Advisor for III Corps throughout 2012 and was on site as the Corps’ cultural advisor for the exercise. As the exercise was winding down some wise guy in exercise control (EXCON) decided to throw a massive solar flare generated EMP that wiped out all unshielded electronics into the scenario (added for clarity). Deciding rather to be safe then sorry, as I’d seen Night of the Comet, I immediately stepped out of the targeting synch meeting, went down the hall to my office, printed out a copy of FM 999-3, and brought it back to the meeting.

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Reader Interactions

42Comments

  1. 1.

    Zinsky

    October 30, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Why do military types think acronyms are so cool? Do they think it makes them sound smarter or something? Or do they think it helps conceal the fact that all they are about is slaughtering other human beings, in direct contradiction of Jesus’s admonition to “love each other as I have loved you”?

  2. 2.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    October 30, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    Don’t forget the classic CDC blog post on how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse:

    http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/

  3. 3.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    decided to throw a massive solar flare generated EMP that wiped out all unshielded electronics.

    I…uhhh…what?

  4. 4.

    scav

    October 30, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    So now I figure out why all y’all were watching that last debate — arms-length real-world training. I am so toast.

  5. 5.

    Anoniminous

    October 30, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Believe It or Not:

    The solar storm of 1859, also known as the Carrington event, was a powerful geomagnetic solar storm in 1859 during solar cycle 10. A solar coronal mass ejection hit Earth’s magnetosphere and induced one of the largest geomagnetic storms on record. The associated “white light flare” in the solar photosphere was observed and recorded by English astronomers Richard C. Carrington and Richard Hodgson.

    Studies have shown that a solar storm of this magnitude occurring today would likely cause widespread problems for modern civilization. The solar storm of 2012 was of similar magnitude, but it passed Earth’s orbit without striking the planet.

  6. 6.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    October 30, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    @Zinsky:

    Every large organization loves acronyms. The Giant Evil Corporation I work for has a million of them.

    Also, too, lighten up, Francis.

  7. 7.

    redshirt

    October 30, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    A zombie uprising seems like it would be fun, I’m all for it.

  8. 8.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Lennie Brisco was the OG Horatio Caine, but without the sunglasses.
    Discuss.

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    @Anoniminous: I am familiar with the Carrington event, tyvm. We had tea and biscuits and it was quite a delightful spectacle.

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    October 30, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Friend used to work for Terminix

    Gave him one of these, which he then installed conspicuously on the top of the truck’s dashboard.

  11. 11.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    Zombie events, whether the speedy kind or walker type will never end well for the proto-survivors. There’s just no scenario that leads to long term survival.

  12. 12.

    Chyron HR

    October 30, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    @Zinsky:

    Jesus’s admonition to “love each other as I have loved you”

    Who gives a shit?

  13. 13.

    jl

    October 30, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    And you have noting for vampire, werewolf, Frankenstein monster, or giant radioactive merman attacks?
    See what destruction to our military readiness Democratic misrule has wrought.

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    October 30, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Don’t insult Briscoe by even bringing up that preening douchebag Caine in the same sentence.

    Briscoe’s best (most compatible) partner? I’m torn.

  15. 15.

    redshirt

    October 30, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    What about vampires that spread like zombies and start taking over parts of the world?

  16. 16.

    jl

    October 30, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    @Chyron HR:

    ” love each other as I have loved you ”

    Not sure what that is about.

    Is that they LEOAIHLY doctrine? I saw a powerpoint on that once.

  17. 17.

    Peale

    October 30, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    @Corner Stone: best course I suppose is to succumb at the time, place, and manner of one’s choosing. I will quit my job and go fishing until they find me.

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    October 30, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    @jl

    From the “Nullzilla” episode of ReBoot:

    Bob: You’re prepared for a giant monster made entirely of nulls stomping around Mainframe?

    Phong: That is correct.

    Bob: How do you plan for that?

    Phong: Uh, lucky guess?.

  19. 19.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    October 30, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Night of the Comet is a good movie. It doesn’t show up very often.

  20. 20.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    @Steeplejack (phone):
    Crime scene tech: “Matching pair of free weights”
    Briscoe: {puts on bifocals} “More like… dead weights”
    YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

  21. 21.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    @Steeplejack (phone):

    Briscoe’s best (most compatible) partner? I’m torn.

    Has to be Ed Green, right?
    At that time Logan was already foreshadowing his end of run. Rey Curtis was an uncompromising stick up the ass prick, unless he was getting his.
    Det Green was a little bit nutty and a little bit slutty. Perfect for OG Briscoe’s style of “bend but don’t break” detecting.

  22. 22.

    Gravenstone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    @Steeplejack (phone): Night of the Comet was a much appreciated classic among my friends and I.

    “But daddy would’ve gotten us Uzis.”

  23. 23.

    NotMax

    October 30, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax

    Much better quality video of that ReBoot episode, if anyone might be interested.

  24. 24.

    Adam L Silverman

    October 30, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    @Corner Stone: an electromagnetic pulse caused by a massive solar flare.

  25. 25.

    Adam L Silverman

    October 30, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    @jl: Do you have a need to know about these things? if not – maybe we do, maybe we don’t…

  26. 26.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 30, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    I think the M-203 would be effective with the shot canisters rather than grenades. That is a wonderful parody of an army FM though.

  27. 27.

    NotMax

    October 30, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    @Corner Stone

    Rendered Dr. Miguelito Loveless’ array of orbiting satellites of doom deader than a nit.

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: Adam, sometimes I love you.

  29. 29.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 30, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    @jl: If it’s not in the FM 6 series collection collection or the Ranger Handbook, it is marginalia.

  30. 30.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    Rousey v Zingano! Let’s do this, bitc….um, peeps!

  31. 31.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    October 30, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Yeah, I think it had to be Green.

    I’ve seen Law and Order only in reruns, so my time line is totally screwed up.

  32. 32.

    divF

    October 30, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    @Corner Stone: Re: Briscoe and Green. I also like the fact that Orbach and Martin both got their starts in Broadway musicals. Very New York.

  33. 33.

    Adam L Silverman

    October 30, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: They did a really good job on it.

  34. 34.

    Adam L Silverman

    October 30, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    @Corner Stone: I’m confused now. This is not uncommon.

  35. 35.

    22over7

    October 30, 2015 at 10:10 pm

    @redshirt: In that movie, they consume all available resources and die out. Predator/prey scenario.

  36. 36.

    PIGL

    October 30, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    @Chyron HR: that’s uncalled for.

  37. 37.

    Keith P.

    October 30, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Christ, I wish people would stop talking about zombies as if they are a real phenomenon.

  38. 38.

    Corner Stone

    October 30, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    @Keith P.:
    Braaaaaiiinnnsss…brrraaiiins…*knock knuckles on Homer’s head*…{walks away}…brrraaaiiiinnnssss

  39. 39.

    BruceFromOhio

    October 30, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Deciding rather to be safe then sorry, as I’d seen Night of the Comet, I immediately stepped out of the targeting synch meeting, went down the hall to my office, printed out a copy of FM 999-3, and brought it back to the meeting.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Awesome!!!

  40. 40.

    ruemara

    October 30, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    To be fair, I used raid planning in WOW to pass my incident management final for FEMA. Hey, there could be a dragon.

  41. 41.

    Soonergrunt

    October 31, 2015 at 9:29 am

    We use zombies in emergency management training and planning. It frees the mind from restrictions. We don’t know what zombies would be capable of if they existed, but if you worry about floods, you plan for floods, and if you worry about earthquakes, you plan for earthquakes, and you neglect planning for other threats. With zombies, you have to plan for several eventualities, and allocate your limited resources for all of them.
    Obviously we don’t actually plan for zombies, but by starting from a point of dealing with the unknown we don’t lock our assumptions (that may be wrong or inadequate) into the mix from the beginning.

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    October 31, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    @Soonergrunt: I developed the concept of operations for leveraging what we would now call Engagement (then socio-cultural research, analysis, and mapping) in support of and to better enable emergency management and disaster response. If you want/need anything on this, please let me know and I’ll be happy to help.

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