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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

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JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

White supremacy is terrorism.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL

I really should read my own blog.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

No one could have predicted…

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / The Bible Tells Me So

The Bible Tells Me So

by $8 blue check mistermix|  October 31, 20155:36 pm| 104 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I don’t know which translation of the Bible the good pastor is using to populate his message board. Perhaps some of the biblical scholars in the audience might want to comment. Open thread.

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104Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    10 In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;
    though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.
    11 But the meek shall inherit the land
    and delight themselves in abundant peace.
    12 The wicked plots against the righteous
    and gnashes his teeth at him,
    13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he sees that his day is coming.
    14 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
    to bring down the poor and needy,
    to slay those whose way is upright;
    15 their sword shall enter their own heart,
    and their bows shall be broken.
    16 Better is the little that the righteous has
    than the abundance of many wicked.
    17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.
    18 The Lord knows the days of the blameless,
    and their heritage will remain forever;
    19 they are not put to shame in evil times;
    in the days of famine they have abundance.
    20 But the wicked will perish;
    the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures;
    they vanish—like smoke they vanish away.
    21 The wicked borrows but does not pay back,
    but the righteous is generous and gives;
    22 for those blessed by the Lord[c] shall inherit the land,
    but those cursed by him shall be cut off.
    23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
    when he delights in his way;
    24 though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
    for the Lord upholds his hand.

  2. 2.

    Anoniminous

    October 31, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Standard Christian YOU SINNERS WILL ALL BURN IN HELLFIRE FOREVER !!!!! … because God <3's you bullshit.

    ETA: found on every page of the bibble, if one looks for it & squints the right way.

  3. 3.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    October 31, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    They’ve probably been listening to the “Hamilton” soundtrack nonstop like everyone else in NYC and decided to do their Lin-Manuel Miranda imitation.

    Accept no imitations.

  4. 4.

    JPL

    October 31, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Is there a good pastor?

  5. 5.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 31, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

    11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

    12 The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.

    13 The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

    14 The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.

    15 Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.

    16 A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.

    17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.

    18 The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.

    19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.

    20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.

    21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

    22 For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

    23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

    KJV

  6. 6.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Look at you with your fancy formatting and shit.

  7. 7.

    benw

    October 31, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    @Baud: Yea, verily, it was looked upon, and the fancy formatting was good, and they did rejoice, and burnt the fatted calf as an offering. And verily, the shit was looked upon as well, and it was good, and the rejoicing was in multitudes.

    ETA: something is missing for me (an image?) from the OP

  8. 8.

    TaMara (BHF)

    October 31, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    @efgoldman: That’s in the TBV (Tea Bagger Version). Translated directly from the original Aramaic. Accept no substitutes.

  9. 9.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 31, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    @efgoldman:
    ‘Payback is a bitch’ is definitely a sentiment in many Hebrew Psalms, but it’s almost always for hostility – as in the above. ‘Attack us violently, and God will totally side with us. He likes peaceful and generous people.’ The idiot in the teeny tiny image above has gone ‘Oh, I must be righteous, and homosexuals must be wicked’ without paying any attention to the context. Since it’s about violence, greed, and oppression, he’s teetering on the edge of that psalm’s definition of ‘wicked.’

  10. 10.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    @benw:

    Blessed are the kerners, for they shall inherit the earth.

  11. 11.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 31, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    @Baud:
    Blessed are the font makers, for they shall be remembered with likable skeletons in popular computer games.

  12. 12.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Except for the Comic Sans guy. Woe be unto him.

  13. 13.

    Ruckus

    October 31, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Was just thinking of a couple of different things about how a segment of our population wants go back in time, to live in a religious fairy tale. A place that doesn’t exist, never existed, would have sucked donkey dicks if it had existed and which they justify by making up religious bullshit.
    And then I look here….

  14. 14.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 31, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    @Baud:
    Dude. You mess with Sans, you are going to have a bad time.

  15. 15.

    Botsplainer

    October 31, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Watching the brilliant “From Dusk Till Dawn” in honor of the holiday.

    I forgot how great this movie is.

  16. 16.

    Lee Rudolph

    October 31, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Oh, when the Sans go marching in…

  17. 17.

    RandomMonster

    October 31, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    I have no idea what this thread is about, but:

    And there shall in that time be rumours of things going astray, and there will be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base, that has an attachment…at this time, a friend shall lose his friends’s hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before around eight o’clock…

  18. 18.

    Sly

    October 31, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Not even the craziest shit that’s come out of “ATLAH” in recent years.

    Fun Fact: The building in Harlem that ATLAH uses for its church was once the headquarters of the International Peace Mission Movement in the 1930s, then led by cult leader George Baker (a.k.a. “Father Divine”), who claimed that a Pennsylvania man named Samuel Morris was God and that he, Baker, was his prophet. That is, before Baker figured out that Morris was not, in fact, God, and that Baker himself was, in fact, God. Baker was the primary inspiration of a much more more noteworthy cult leader; Jim Jones of the Peoples Temple, he of cyanide-flavored kool-aid fame.

    So maybe there’s something wrong with the water in that place.

  19. 19.

    Schlemazel

    October 31, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    @Baud:

    14 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
    to bring down the poor and needy,

    So the entire GOP is in the shit then

  20. 20.

    Iowa Old Lady

    October 31, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Mr IOL is out of town at a bridge tournament, so I’m in charge of giving out candy. Assuming that after another hour or so when trick or treating starts there’s enough left to give out.

  21. 21.

    PIGL

    October 31, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    @efgoldman: you shall know that my name is THE LORD when I lay my judgement upon you.

    Or words to that effect.

  22. 22.

    Amir Khalid

    October 31, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Is there a video or something in the post? All I see is a wee little rectangle above a few lines of text.

  23. 23.

    MattF

    October 31, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Click on the rectangle.

  24. 24.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: Hmm. Sounds like IOL got a sweet tooth.

  25. 25.

    p.a.

    October 31, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    @RandomMonster: “Help! Help! I’m being referred to as a possible VP. Come and see the snark mistaken for sexism inherent in the system.”

    Tying 2 threads together.

  26. 26.

    Smiling Mortician

    October 31, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    @MattF: At which point it becomes a YOOOOOGE image. Like, really big.

  27. 27.

    Amir Khalid

    October 31, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    @MattF:
    Ah, got it. Thanks. That translation must be from the Pulp Fiction edition of the Bible.

  28. 28.

    M. Bouffant

    October 31, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Payback is a bitch is from The Book of Badassians, where you’ll also find

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for I am the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

  29. 29.

    rikyrah

    October 31, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    uh huh
    uh huh

    SlateVerified account
    ‏@Slate
    High-profile New York charter school kept list of kids it wanted to force into quitting http://slate.me/1XGwjRl

  30. 30.

    Iowa Old Lady

    October 31, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    @Felonius Monk: Peanut butter cups are the food of the gods.

  31. 31.

    ruemara

    October 31, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    Oh, so that’s what this is about. How about some baking instead? Mini pastry puff feta squash & spinach sammiches. The plan is to help hand out candy and feed my friends at their place. and then help out another friend by attending her charity bash while dressed in exotic dress of femaleness, feel awkward, not dance at all and leave rather hopelessly about midnight, so I can get some sleep.

  32. 32.

    BGinCHI

    October 31, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Coincidentally it’s exactly what my 3-year-old said when he got an apple trick or treating.

  33. 33.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    the Pulp Fiction edition of the Bible.

    Are not all editions of the Bible basically pulp fiction?

  34. 34.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: Yes, they are. And a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms (which I only recently discovered) does not last the day in this house. :)

  35. 35.

    RSA

    October 31, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Sorry, I got nothing.

    But surfing the Web earlier today, I discovered that it is possible to buy individual pages of a Gutenberg Bible, for less than $100,000. Common Old Testament, that is. A “premium scripture passage” doubles the price.

    I’m half-amused, half-appalled.

  36. 36.

    jl

    October 31, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    I see a little black square I can’t read on my ‘punter. Then below it ‘One Odd Tip for a Flat Stomach’. That rings a bell, is that the passage?

  37. 37.

    rikyrah

    October 31, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    This mofo here…..
    …………………………

    Why Did Eva Moskowitz Publish a Student’s Disciplinary Record?

    The head of Success Academies may have overreached in her response to a PBS NewsHour report.

    By Michelle Goldberg

    Anyone who has reported on campus sexual assault knows that school administrations rarely respond, even when they feel unfairly maligned, because they fear violating the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, or FERPA. Passed in 1974, FERPA is a federal law that bans the release of students’ personal information without their consent. “Schools are not supposed to talk about their students, even when the media is saying, ‘Hey, I can’t believe you did this,’ ” says Derek W. Black, a professor at the University of South Carolina School of Law who specializes in education law. “And sometimes that means the media doesn’t get the story straight, but it does protect the student.”

    That’s why it was so surprising when Eva Moskowitz, the high-profile head of Success Academy, a network of New York City charter schools, responded to a negative PBS story by releasing the disciplinary record of an ex-student featured in it. Black says this was probably illegal, and it has left the student’s mother, Fatima Geidi, furious and frantic with worry over her 10-year-old son’s reputation. “For a grown woman, an adult, to attack a child is disgusting,” Geidi told me. “There’s no other way around it.”

    ………………….

    With the help of Leonie Haimson, co-founder of the Parent Coalition for Student Privacy, Fatima Geidi sent Moskowitz a cease-and-desist letter, demanding that her son’s information be taken down. “I’ve seen violations of FERPA, but not in such an obvious, egregious way,” Haimson told me. “Not in a press release sent to the media and posted online. I have not seen this level of violation.”

    Moskowitz is unapologetic. In a letter to Geidi, she wrote, “The First Amendment limits a person’s ability to use privacy rights to prevent others from speaking. When somebody chooses to make statements to the press, they waive their privacy rights on the topics they have discussed, particularly when, as here, those statements are inaccurate.”

    http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2015/10/success_academies_eva_moskowitz_published_a_student_s_disciplinary_record.html

  38. 38.

    Hungry Joe

    October 31, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Open thread, right?

    Yesterday on NPR, AP’s political correspondent, opining on Jeb’s descent, declared that Jeb was “a stellar governor” of Florida who “did a great job.” No push-back from the NPR (“All Things Considered”) anchor. A minute later the correspondent dismissed Sanders as “the Democrats’ Donald Trump,” finishing up with “Sanders is fading.” Thanks from the anchor, thank you from the AP guy. Then … on to the next segment.

  39. 39.

    Anya

    October 31, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Since this is an open thread let me gripe a little bit about the Sanders’ and Clinton’s supporters. Honestly, it’s way too early for the Clinton supporters to be clutching their pearls over every utterance. They need to stop with the accusations of sexism. It will lose it’s meaning when the asshole republicans do what they do best – offensive douchebaggery.

    And the Bernie supporters are no better. They are horrible beyond words. They make me dislike a candidate that I actually like. Bernie deserves better than these self-righteous assholes.

    2007 was the first time I’ve ever got involved in any election. And I don’t remember disliking supporters this early in the game. By the spring of 2008 I was pretty sick of one segment of HRC supporters but that only started when that whole PUMA crap began.

  40. 40.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    @Anya:

    Baud supporters are the bee’s knees.

  41. 41.

    jl

    October 31, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    OK the little black square is still there, but right below is a pic of bargain airport hotels I might be interested in. I don’t remember that in the Bible. I am getting very puzzled.

  42. 42.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    October 31, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    @Hungry Joe: Whenever I see someone associated with AP, I wonder if they were hired/mentored/advised by Ron Fournier. There was a story in the last days of the run up to the Iran vote about a “secret side deal” that was almost comically bad journalism, in which an anonymous Senator was quoted about how this could blow up the whole thing! Had me wondering if John McCain’s almost-campaign press secretary didn’t arrange a meeting and help craft the story.

    Liz Sidoti, who helped Fournier pick out the sprinkled donuts McCain likes at that laughable candidate forum in ’08 has since washed the inkstains off her wretched hands and become chief flack for a big oil company, BP I think.

    Liberal media, my tired ass.

  43. 43.

    Anoniminous

    October 31, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    @jl:

    Try this.

  44. 44.

    MattF

    October 31, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    @jl: Click on the little rectangle.

  45. 45.

    Roger Moore

    October 31, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    The idiot in the teeny tiny image above has gone ‘Oh, I must be righteous, and homosexuals must be wicked’ without paying any attention to the context.

    This is really easy to do with Psalms. If you are looking at just a piece of one, you’re almost certainly doing it wrong. They’re mostly short enough that it doesn’t make sense to excerpt them except to take them out of context.

  46. 46.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    @Baud:

    Baud supporters are the bee’s knees.

    We are also the cat’s pajamas!

  47. 47.

    p.a.

    October 31, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    @Baud: supporters?

  48. 48.

    Brachiator

    October 31, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    And lo, the Lord anointed David’s head with oil,
    and gave him a leather pouch upon which was stitched, “Bad Muthafucka.”
    And the Lord looked upon David with love, and said,
    “You my homie, bro. Remember, I always got your back.”

  49. 49.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 31, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    @rikyrah: I saw that interview, she seems like a piece of work. I also think that Success Academy sounds very Orwellian, big brother like.

  50. 50.

    Mike J

    October 31, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    @JPL:

    Is there a good pastor?

    A lot of people seemed to like MLK.

  51. 51.

    Hungry Joe

    October 31, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    @Baud: If you’re serious, why haven’t you released your tax returns? Your boxers/briefs position? A picture of yourself snarfing down a giant sausage at a state fair?

    As I’ve said before, you’re angling for Veep. I’m on to you, man.

  52. 52.

    Mary G

    October 31, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    I live right around the corner from this place. Now with real firing cannon shots, which are driving me nuts even though it isn’t even dark yet here. The block of my street just up from me goes similarly crazy, which results in hordes of people bringing children from pretty much all over the world to treat and treat. The cops have to come to direct traffic.

    The last year my mom gave out candy was 2008 or so. She bought 1200 mini candy bars, gave them out one at a time, and ran out in 35 minutes. Ever since then I have turned out all the lights and hidden in my room on Halloween.

    This year there was even an article in the local paper, giving addresses. Now I have housemates who are determined to celebrate and give out candy. I have just sent them out for more. Bah humbug.

  53. 53.

    Anoniminous

    October 31, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    @Felonius Monk:

    @Baud:

    Baud supporters are the bee’s knees.

    We are also the cat’s pajamas!

    And the caterpillar’s boots!

  54. 54.

    Poopyman

    October 31, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    About that Pastor Manning guy:

    Dr. James David Manning, pastor of ATLAH World Missionary Church in New York, is known to be outspoken and a controversial preacher. He criticizes and humiliates his congregation during his sermons. He has taken it too far by calling President Barack Obama’s deceased mother “white trash” and a myriad of other derogatory names. He also blames the president for the recent riots in Baltimore, according to All Christian News.

    Manning’s church, ATLAH, which stands for All The Land Anointed Holy, is located on 123rd Street in New York City. The pastor previously compared President Obama to Hitler and Satan. In the same sermon, he called the president’s mother “white trash” for becoming pregnant by a black man out of wedlock.

  55. 55.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    October 31, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Have you no love for the Latimore translation?

  56. 56.

    Brachiator

    October 31, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    @Hungry Joe: Sounds like the AP correspondent was delivering an opinion, not trying to be a neutral observer. I don’t know why he was on, but if the segment gives time to political ball washers, there is no point in the NPR host trying to bring “balance” and certainly not give his or her own opinion. The presumption is that the listener is smart enough to see through the fluff.

  57. 57.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    @p.a.:

    supporters?

    I count sockpuppets.

  58. 58.

    cmorenc

    October 31, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Methinks Reverend Manning is the one in need of better understanding of whom Psalm 37:10-23 is more likely addressing as “the wicked” and whom are the “righteous”, and maybe visit John 8:7 while he’s at it, to give the lesson better context (“Whoever is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast a stone…”)

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    October 31, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    @Mary G: Egad! What people must spend on stuff like that.

    My parents used to go out to dinner and a movie on Halloween, the one movie my dad saw in a year. I live in a semi-rural area now and don’t get TorT’ers, but even when I used to live in a more suburban neighborhood I got surprisingly few. One year: One kid, and he didn’t even have a costume. Told me it got uncomfortable so he went home and took it off.

  60. 60.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    October 31, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    @benw:

    FWIW, on this phone there’s a tiny rectangle under mistermix’s byline that, if you click on it, expands into a picture of a church marquee.

    ETA: “You sodomites and freaks have soiled Harlem but ye shall be moved. Payback is a bitch.” Psalms.

  61. 61.

    JGabriel

    October 31, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    efgoldman:

    I’m no biblical scholar, but somehow I missed the “Payback is a bitch” line.

    This one could probably be read to mean roughly the same thing as Payback Is A Bitch:

    21 The wicked borrows but does not pay back,
    but the righteous is generous and gives;
    22 for those blessed by the Lord[c] shall inherit the land,
    but those cursed by him shall be cut off.

    But I’ll be damned (much to the delight of The Blood of Jesus Atlah World Missionary Church, I’m sure) if I can figure out where Manning or his billboard supervisor came up with “You Sodomites and Freaks Have Soiled Harlem …”

  62. 62.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    @Poopyman: I hereby issue a much needed correction to the sign causing all this controversy:

    James David Manning, Pastor ASSHOLE

  63. 63.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 31, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Lattimore translated the New Testament.

  64. 64.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    @Hungry Joe:

    why haven’t you released your tax returns? Your boxers/briefs position? A picture of yourself snarfing down a giant sausage at a state fair?

    Romney showed it wasn’t necessary.

    Briefs.

    The “sausage” owner wouldn’t consent.

  65. 65.

    ruemara

    October 31, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I’m no Hillary supporter or Bernie supporter, but I found the offer of VPship to be very smug, arrogant, condescending and premature. It did seem sexist too, but only mildly sexist. It was also similar to the Hillary ’08 talk of offering then frontrunner Barack Obama the VP position. Hubris does not win votes and candidate Sanders will need to help his campaign team understand that.

  66. 66.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    @Baud:

    The “sausage” owner wouldn’t consent.

    ROFL

  67. 67.

    JPL

    October 31, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    @Mike J: True

  68. 68.

    Poopyman

    October 31, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    I just had my first and possibly only trick-or-treater for the night, and it was a sad affair. A boy 7 or 8 years old and his mom. The kid looked petrified and stood off to the side while his mother pushed and prodded him towards the door. He finally stepped up and opened his bag, and I dropped a couple of bars in. His mother said thank you.

    Very odd.

  69. 69.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 31, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    @ruemara: Wrong thread, I think.

  70. 70.

    FlyingToaster

    October 31, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    @rikyrah: This is so not news. Alas.

    Our waste-of-time Governor (well, I suspect he’s better than Coakley — low bar) wants to increase the number of charter schools, again. Trust me, Governor, charter schools will not make a damn bit of difference; people with kids will still either move to Lexington or Newton or Dover, or pony up for private schools. The charters aren’t showing significant MCAS score differences because they’re each drawing from the same municipal pool as the public schools. The problem that charters are supposed to solve is still here, and the charters aren’t solving it.

    Want to improve scores? Quit spending your time on test prep; reinstate elementary music, art, PE, and foreign language, and support the teachers who have half of their classes from immigrant families. Dump the charters. D’oh!

    ***
    We had 13 kids before HerrDoktor took WarriorGirl out (in her Clara Oswin Oswald costume); not a one since. Oh, well.

  71. 71.

    Felonius Monk

    October 31, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    @Sly:

    So maybe there’s something wrong with the water in that place.

    Sounds like the ideal place for GOP headquarters.

  72. 72.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    October 31, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: It was mostly a joke, since I do know the difference between testaments, and which he did. The New Testament seems somehow more gentle.

    I also know how to spell his name correctly, all indications to the contrary notwithstanding. The joke (funnier though it could be) is how he’s better known for translating “myths” that the US Xianist faithful agree are myths.

    Humor fail. But I did amuse candy collecting kiddos with my kitten ears headband.

  73. 73.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 31, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    I even missed the rectangle, but on your suggestion I scrolled back up and clicked on it. Now all has been made manifest.

  74. 74.

    Suzanne

    October 31, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    That’s fucking HILARIOUS.

  75. 75.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 31, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I thought you trying to out pedant me so I responded in kind. No one ever comes to my building, the bastards.

  76. 76.

    FlyingToaster

    October 31, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    @RSA: That’s been true since about 1500 :)

    Gutenberg didn’t bind all of his bible pages, they were already novelty items back in the 1400s.

    I have a friend with a page, which he got eons (~30 years) ago and did not pay even 5 figures for.

    There were also calendar pages, individual pages from recipe books, and indulgences.

  77. 77.

    RSA

    October 31, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    @FlyingToaster: How cool! Thanks.

  78. 78.

    The Dude

    October 31, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    Atlah? Sounds awfully Muslin to me.

  79. 79.

    Suzanne

    October 31, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: I am home sick today, and am feeling sorry for myself, so I have been enjoying the mini milk chocolate PB cups from Trader Joe’s. Holy balls. So delicious.

  80. 80.

    ruemara

    October 31, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Someone dragged it up here.

  81. 81.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 31, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    @ruemara: Okay. I was just checking. I’ve accidentally posted in the wrong thread on occasion…

  82. 82.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 31, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    As for trick-or-treat, the first Hallowe’en I was in my current apartment, about 11 years ago, I didn’t know what to expect so I stocked up on individually-wrapped candy — about half of it peanut butter stuff, which I will never eat, and the other half stuff that would last me through the winter if it didn’t get handed out.

    I ended up with NO little kids in costume, which I would have found enchanting. I did get probably 20-25 teenagers over the course of the evening, 2 or 3 at a time, with no costumes, no makeup, no nothing except a bag and an expectation that they were entitled to free candy.

    Well, fuck that. I have contrived to make every Hallowe’en since then (or designated T&T night) a night when I’m simply not home. Right now I’m in a sports bar drinking red wine and waiting for the start of Game 4 of the World Series.

  83. 83.

    Elizabelle

    October 31, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    The Bible? Meh.

    Handing out candy. Rachel, my young neighbor, showed up as Rosie the Riveter. I wuz impressed.

  84. 84.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    October 31, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    @ruemara:

    It was the smug, arrogant and condescending thing that makes it read as sexist since most sexist comments fit into those categories. I suppose it’s possible to have a smug, arrogant, and condescending comment that isn’t sexist (or racist), but when you’ve already checked off those three boxes, people start looking for the usual value-added to be stuck on as well.

    You can have a peanut butter sandwich without jelly, but people will be a little surprised.

  85. 85.

    01jack

    October 31, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    @Anoniminous: Oyster’s ice skates

  86. 86.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    October 31, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Which is not to say I wouldn’t try to out-pedant you, because we both know that ain’t true. This year we had more kiddos than the previous 4 we’ve lived here put together.

    I wore the kitty ears to do a honk and wave at noon for a senior services (won’t raise your taxes) levy in a neighboring county. My honk and wave career is complete: I received a wave (raise of a cell phone in my direction and nod) from the driver of a car across the street, which had just pulled away from a stoplight. And it was a man driving a late model black BMW. I’ll never be able to exceed that.

  87. 87.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    October 31, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    @01jack: the tapir’s cardigan!

  88. 88.

    rondeanky

    October 31, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    @Hungry Joe: So what you’re saying is NPR(Nice Polite Republicans) still sucks? Just like they did 10 years ago when I quit listening to them.

  89. 89.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    October 31, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I once had a standoff with a teenaged male who had a pillowcase and no costume. He was part of a trio; the other two cooperated when I told them “you gotta play the game to get candy.” Was sulky and tried to out tough me with a hard look, no doubt thinking something along the lines of “she’s a little old lady (in his eyes), so I’m gonna win this one.” It was a slightly awkward ~3 or 4 minutes in which I said thinks like “say the words to get the candy” or variations thereof, while he was busy showing his bros how tough he was. I never raised my voice, nor did I back down; I sat on my chair on my porch and declined to hand over candy. Finally he said “trick or treat,” with an indignant sigh and got his piece of candy. I suspect it may have been a sore subject if his pals brought it up.

  90. 90.

    PurpleGirl

    October 31, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    @jl: You need to click on the little rectangle, it opens a photo of a “church” name and supposed Bible quote.

  91. 91.

    Anya

    October 31, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    @Baud: What about your donors. I need to vet your donors before I endorse you.

  92. 92.

    Baud

    October 31, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    @Anya:

    I have chosen not to corrupt my campaign by accepting donations.

  93. 93.

    PurpleGirl

    October 31, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    I spent an hour and a half in the building lobby this afternoon, in Yarn Monster. The only adult handing out candy that was dressed up. There was a discussion among a couple of adults if we still give candy to non-resident kids. We had so much candy that I wouldn’t think it would matter. Besides if we didn’t have the lobby party, the kids would try to find a way to get into the building anyway. Word is that other buildings in the complex didn’t have many people volunteering to hand our candy; Building 4 (my building) was one maybe the busiest one. I enjoy doing the candy gig. And there is a sign you can hang on your door that you gave to the lobby party and tells kids not to ring your bell. (It works.)

  94. 94.

    Elizabelle

    October 31, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    @PurpleGirl: Glad you were doing the yarn monster thing.

    I think my happiest kid Halloweens were when we lived on military bases, and the neighborhood parents would dress up and scare us. From coffins, from dark houses. It was so fun.

  95. 95.

    Joel

    October 31, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    “You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat”

  96. 96.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    October 31, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    It appears the way to do it in my building is to set the candy outside the door. I went out grocery shopping and came back and it appears we had a few takers.

    I wore my Princess Anna (from “Frozen”) dress to the grocery store, because what’s the point of being a grown-up if you’re not allowed to have fun? A teenage girl said she liked my dress and the two teenage boys at the checkstand liked it because it’s a little too small and I’m a 36D.
    ;-)

  97. 97.

    redshirt

    October 31, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    Gads, if a trick or treater ever showed up here I’d freak out.

  98. 98.

    Jerry

    October 31, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    @JPL:
    “Is there a good pastor?”

    Yes. Check out the UCC. Officially, it stands for United Church of Christ. I say it stands for United Communists for Christ, but the pastor insists it stands for Unitarian Concern for Christ. YMMV, of course.

  99. 99.

    Jerry

    October 31, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    @JPL:

    Is there a good pastor?

    Yes. Check out the UCC. Officially, it stands for United Church of Christ. I say it stands for United Communists for Christ, but the pastor insists it stands for Unitarian Concern for Christ. YMMV, of course.

  100. 100.

    redshirt

    October 31, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    Mark 13:14 said

    But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where it should not be (let the reader understand), then those in Judea must flee to the mountains.

    That parenthetical aside is in red in the KJV, meaning Christ’s direct words as recorded in the HOLY BIBLE.

    Tell me how Jesus can speak in a literal parenthetical aside, to someone not present for a hundred years.

    I know I know. GOD!

  101. 101.

    Virginia (fka Abo Gato)

    November 1, 2015 at 12:28 am

    Well, we’ve had some fun with crazy religious nuts for the last two nights. We’re In Key West where a bacchanal is going on. Apparently the nuts spend someone else’s money to come to this every year to scream at revelers that we are sinners and going straight to hell.

    Last time we did this it was 2008 and the group then was the Westboro crowd. This time they don’t have the god hates fags signs but big crosses and banners about Jesus. This group also has some black guys holding those banners so it’s not a lily white group but the screamers are all white. Boy, do they hate everyone.

    My husband hates them and loves to get in their faces. Last night a man screamer told him that he was going to fry in a burning hell because we were there and he was wearing a toga. He told me I was a harlot because I had a skimpy dress on. He told hubs that he should rebuke me, then told hubs that obviously HE did not wear the pants in this family and his answer was of course not, I am wearing a toga. There was a woman who could have been Kim Davis’ twin and she was nearly frothing at the mouth. Of course, all this is amplified on bullhorns. I told the ugly lady she should calm down or she could have a stroke. Her answer to me was that I looked old enough to have a stroke. My response was that I am healthy, happy and not angry with anyone and not as likely as she is.

    Anyhoo, same bunch there tonight with a new man screaming. A guy dressed as Jesus was taunting him and gyrating in front of the screamer. The screamer told him God loves him and the answer was of course he did, he was his son! The crowd roared. A cute guy came up and asked what the screamer was doing later as he really would like to suck his dick.

    They walk up and down Duval street bullhorning everyone and carrying the banners and the police let them do it but they also allow the back and forth exchange with the revelers as long as no one actually touches anyone. A nice gay guy kept asking a screamer why those people hated him so much and all we get are screams.

    Sorry for the long post but we just got back to the hotel and have been discussing this experience. Still dumbfounded. Googled and found out this group is named Team Jesus Preachers. Wow, they even have a team. How juvenile.

  102. 102.

    Troy

    November 1, 2015 at 2:19 am

    Well Pastor Manning did claim that sperm is the creams of the blood

  103. 103.

    Nancy

    November 1, 2015 at 7:57 am

    @Frankensteinbeck:
    I LIKE Comic Sans. I used to work with little kids and it was the only font that used the same letter formation we were expecting them to use. So they could read it and I still like it.

  104. 104.

    Kenneth Guffnagle

    November 1, 2015 at 10:02 am

    This is probably a Black church in Harlem! We Democrats forget that there’s a large segment of Black voters who, while being staunch Democrats, are quite socially conservative, which unfortunately includes sometimes being virulently anti-gay.

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