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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / Late Night Open Thread: “Oh, the Bush Dynasty!”

Late Night Open Thread: “Oh, the Bush Dynasty!”

by Anne Laurie|  November 4, 20153:40 am| 41 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, JEB! = John Ellis Not-Bush 2016, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Our Awesome Meritocracy, Schadenfreude

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jeb hindenburg ohman

(Jack Ohman via GoComics.com).

oh man Jeb Bush at this campaign rally "They used to call me the 'e-governor.'" [sits backwards on chair and turns his hat around.]

— Molly Redden (@mtredden) November 2, 2015

If he wasn’t still humping Teri Schiavo’s corpse for the Talibangelical votes — among his many other sins — you’d almost have to feel sorry for the guy…

… The candidate who last week described his inability to “fake anger” as a chief weakness spoke on Monday in defense of a focus on policy and in disappointment over the campaign’s ceaseless punditry before letting fly a brazen prediction of his own.

“Let me tell you something,” he said, as exclamation-pointed signs were waved. “When the dust clears, and the delegates are counted, we’re going to win this damn thing.” (His prepared remarks had called for the meeker, “We will win this campaign.”)…

After the address on Monday, Mr. Bush traveled to Orlando and Jacksonville, before a planned swing through South Carolina on Tuesday and a three-day bus tour in New Hampshire, the state with the first primary, and one increasingly crucial to his fortunes…. [T]aking the stage to “Takin’ Care of Business,” he recalled choice anecdotes from his email archives, highlighting his education policies (“we listened and changed the law so Kirsty could get her high school diploma and go on to graduate from college”) and his gift for constituent services (“by noon, that raccoon was out” of the attic of a concerned elderly woman in South Florida)…

There goes the Trash Panda vote…

@PhilipRucker #JebFixedIt

— Bob Dobolina (@bobdobolina) November 2, 2015


… At times, it felt as if Mr. Trump’s insults hung over the room, contributing to fits of overcompensation.

Chants of “We want Jeb” preceded his arrival. Someone kept blowing a whistle in revelry. A dearth of chairs preserved a standing-room-only feel, though several older people jockeyed for the available leg relief in the back.

One speaker introducing Mr. Bush, Richard Corcoran, a former top aide to Mr. Rubio, likened the former governor to Winston Churchill, Steve Jobs, Abraham Lincoln and Captain America. He appraised Mr. Bush as “a leader who, when he sees that grenade, he will jump on it every time to make America great again” — a possibly inadvertent echo of Mr. Trump’s campaign slogan…

I would have never guessed, @wolfblitzer pic.twitter.com/WBBFNMw2Qi

— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) November 3, 2015

But the campaign has found a solution (!), per NYMag:

… According to a source close to the campaign, Bush will be media-coached by Jon Kraushar, a legendary image-maker who’s worked with Ailes for decades. In the 1980s, Ailes and Kraushar were business partners at Ailes Communications, the political-consulting shop Ailes founded. It was during this time that Ailes and Krashaur famously coached Jeb’s father and Dan Quayle to the White House in 1988. A year later, Ailes and Kraushar collaborated on the best-selling book You Are the Message, which has become something of a Bible for public speakers and television pundits. After going their separate ways, Ailes and Kraushar remained close. Fox pundits regularly go to Kraushar for training and Ailes recommends politicians to him. During the 2012 presidential election, Ailes sent Mitt Romney’s running mate, Paul Ryan, to Kraushar for help….

… [I]nside the campaign, Bush’s poor communications skills have become a source of tension among advisers and donors. One source told me that some senior Bush aides are frustrated that he wears glasses and suits on the trail, which makes it difficult for him to relate to a large swath of GOP primary voters (or at least the Trump ones). His weight has also been an issue. Bush dropped 40 pounds on the Paleo diet in preparation for his run, but the dramatic weight loss has left him appearing uncomfortable in his new body and prone to awkward movements.

Bush has a week to learn some new tricks. The next debate is on Fox Business Network on November 10…

I'm not sure what's worse for Jeb! in this Iowa poll — him doing worse than Bobby Jindal or Martin O'Malley: https://t.co/THUCjRJkMk,

— Daniel Drezner (@dandrezner) November 3, 2015

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Reader Interactions

41Comments

  1. 1.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 4:30 am

    FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!

    Oops, my bad, wrong thread. Sorry.

    Two things:

    1. At this point I have given up trying to figure out the GOP polling. As someone on this blog said a few days ago (dunno if he/she was quoting someone else), there is a fundamental paradox, in that (A) one of the clowns will inevitably get the GOP presidential nomination, but (B) each of them individually has compelling reasons why he/she should never get the nomination. Go figure.

    Which leads to . . .

    2. Nothing really means squat until people actually start casting real votes in the primaries.

    All else is noise—and pundits sawing sawdust—and that includes everything ¡Jeb! does or says on a daily basis. Still, it is kind of amazing—not to mention entertaining—to see how many different ways he finds to tread upon his own dick.

  2. 2.

    OzarkHillbilly

    November 4, 2015 at 4:35 am

    I hate the time switch. Came wide awake at 2 am. Too dark to do anything outside. Got no projects going in the shop. Can’t do anything in the house w/o waking up the wife. Just killing time here.

  3. 3.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 4:43 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    You could compose a message telling Cole everything that’s wrong with the site upgrade. All caps preferred.

    On the serious side: are you a reader at all? I used to love to read a book in the small hours when I couldn’t sleep. Somehow more satisfying than reading ephemera on line.

  4. 4.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 4:50 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Why did the time change affect you so much? Aren’t you (semi-)retired? Or do you have a really regimented daily schedule?

    I am semi-retired, but for a long time before that I was a freelancer, and my schedule has been loose enough that I am impervious to the time changes. I go a lot more by the light level (in the morning) than by the clock, and of course the housecat lends her input from her crepuscular lifestyle.

  5. 5.

    seaboogie

    November 4, 2015 at 5:01 am

    @Steeplejack: (and for you Ruckus, also too):

    In reference to AL’s cartoon, I used to work PT in a bookstore in Sonoma, and once encountered a gent who wanted to know if we had any books on “airships” – what the cognoscenti call dirigibles or blimps. We had one, and then I asked him if he had ever been in in one. He had. I asked him what it felt like, and he said it was like being on a gentle swing…and then talked about the airships of the past – a very interesting convo.

    So Steep…here is a relevant link to the cartoon, to the name of the blog and favorite piece of music (she said, pulling all of the threads together, and hopefully not screwing it up)…

  6. 6.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 5:18 am

    @seaboogie:

    Love that song! Thanks.

  7. 7.

    Althea

    November 4, 2015 at 5:18 am

    Lookit this blog. This is why we can’t have nice things

  8. 8.

    seaboogie

    November 4, 2015 at 5:22 am

    @Steeplejack: Domo arigato, Sensei….

  9. 9.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 4, 2015 at 5:22 am

    @Althea: I appears that it’s upgrade was a bit rushed, I’m not sure why.

  10. 10.

    David Koch

    November 4, 2015 at 5:23 am

    I think it’s time to move on to a new target rich candidate.

    ¿Jeb ? is toast.

    In new Florida poll Trump is at 37 while ¿Jeb ? is a 7 in his own home state.

  11. 11.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 4, 2015 at 5:24 am

    @seaboogie: I thought it was “domo arigato, Mr. Roboto”.

  12. 12.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 4, 2015 at 5:25 am

    @David Koch: Both the Daily Show and Nightly Show were brutal on the Republicans and their debate whining.

    ETA: Also the Iowa GOP refused to credential the Daily Show because they said they would make fun of them. That was a big mistake.

  13. 13.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    November 4, 2015 at 5:29 am

    Jeb reinventing his soul (sic) to “focus on policy” reminds me of the XFL, in midseason, reinventing itself to focus on the straight-ahead no-nonsense quality of its football, rather than the assorted trappings of being owned by the pro wrestling titans WWE.

    Not the long suit for either of ’em.

  14. 14.

    OzarkHillbilly

    November 4, 2015 at 5:29 am

    @Steeplejack: Yeah, I’m a reader but right how I don’t have any light reading in the docket. It’s all in depth stuff that needs study and thought.

    Yes, semi retired but these are the habits of a lifetime. I am very much connected to the rising and settings of the sun, but I am also very much connected to my wife who has to follow that damn clock because her bosses demand it. Hence my difficulties adjusting. I can’t blame it all on the clock tho. I have insomnia from time to time, also a lot of arthritic aches and pains that don’t let me get good deep sleep.

    Ideally I would wake up at 4, make the coffee, feed the critters, make a quick perusal of the world, wake up my wife at 5 (with her coffee of course) clean up the kitchen while she gets dressed, then get out of her way so she can make her lunch, then help her out to her car at 6, after which I am free to do whatever is on my agenda. But sometimes I wake up at 3, or 2, or 1, or… The time switch just seems to exacerbate everything.

  15. 15.

    Baud

    November 4, 2015 at 5:33 am

    According to a source close to the campaign, Bush will be media-coached by Jon Kraushar, a legendary image-maker who’s worked with Ailes for decades.

    I suggest earth tones.

  16. 16.

    seaboogie

    November 4, 2015 at 5:34 am

    BillinGlendaleCA: Meh…I think the Venn diagram of the Iowa Caucuses and The Daily Show have about zero overlap.

  17. 17.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 5:38 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    You’re a right mixer, you are. And clean.

  18. 18.

    David Koch

    November 4, 2015 at 5:43 am

    Only 89 days til Iowa.

    If you subtract the last 2 weeks of the year, when people are tuned out because of shopping, traveling, family, and football, as well as the Thanksgiving weekend, then there are only 71 shopping days til Iowa.

  19. 19.

    OzarkHillbilly

    November 4, 2015 at 5:43 am

    @Baud: “They don’t know me. They don’t know me,” Bush told Bloomberg. “I eat nails when I wake up, then I have breakfast.”

    Krausher may get krushed by this job.

  20. 20.

    Aleta

    November 4, 2015 at 5:43 am

    @Baud:
    Jon Krakauer might be better choice. (Into Thin Air, etc)

  21. 21.

    Amir Khalid

    November 4, 2015 at 5:45 am

    Given the political history of the comics character, comparing Jeb Bush to Captain America is hopelessly inapt.

  22. 22.

    Baud

    November 4, 2015 at 5:47 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I eat nails and I shit bricks. Take that, Jeb!

  23. 23.

    raven

    November 4, 2015 at 5:48 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Our new king size rack doesn’t transfer movement like our old one did. That and the incredible quiet of the addition has allowed me to wake up at 2 or 3 and actually go back to sleep until 5 or so.

  24. 24.

    MattF

    November 4, 2015 at 5:49 am

    @David Koch: Well, there’s good old Ted. Did you know that David Barton, noted loon and crackpot historian, is playing a major role in Cruz’s campaign?

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    November 4, 2015 at 5:53 am

    @Baud:
    I’m amazed by what that implies about the capabilities of your digestive tract. I think you should buy some Spandex, and make yourself a comic-book hero suit.

  26. 26.

    Satby

    November 4, 2015 at 5:56 am

    Baud 2016!

  27. 27.

    seaboogie

    November 4, 2015 at 5:56 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: “They don’t know me. They don’t know me,” Bush told Bloomberg. “I eat nails when I wake up, then I have breakfast.”

    I have to wonder what it was like to grow up in the Bush family. The kids are hopeless weirdos who are given cushy jobs en route to their destiny as President, but they don’t speak English too well, and they hold their arms out to the sides with palms back when they stand – like for some sort of military inspection.

    Probably a hemophiliac in there somewhere – so yeah, call me a platelet-ist.

    Oh hell, fucked up the quote thingy. Just reverse as you read, please. I know better, but did it wrong.

  28. 28.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 5:57 am

    @Steeplejack:

    “She’s a drag—a well-known drag.” (3:12)

  29. 29.

    Satby

    November 4, 2015 at 5:59 am

    @Steeplejack: My last post in the old thread disappeared, but just wanted to say epic, on target rant earlier. Gracias.

  30. 30.

    MattF

    November 4, 2015 at 5:59 am

    @seaboogie: IT WOULD HELP IF THE TEXT ON THE COMMENT BOX BUTTONS WAS READABLE.

  31. 31.

    amk

    November 4, 2015 at 6:02 am

    @Steeplejack:

    All caps preferred.

    I heard it’s the fucking italics that gets cole’s goat.

    …

    ..

    .

    waiting for omnes to intone how it is physically impossible to fuck italics.

  32. 32.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 4, 2015 at 6:03 am

    @Steeplejack: You know who else was clean?

  33. 33.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 6:11 am

    @seaboogie:

    Okay, you screwed the pooch on that one, grasshopper. Focus!

  34. 34.

    Anne Laurie

    November 4, 2015 at 6:17 am

    @seaboogie:

    I have to wonder what it was like to grow up in the Bush family. The kids are hopeless weirdos who are given cushy jobs en route to their destiny as President, but they don’t speak English too well, and they hold their arms out to the sides with palms back when they stand – like for some sort of military inspection.

    As someone with “neurodiversity issues” on both sides of the family tree, I’ve long suspected the Bush kids are what happens when two families with a history of serotonin-based disorders intermarry. Both Poppy’s and Bar’s kinfolk have substance abuse/mental health histories, and it’s public record that Marvin has Crohn’s disease and Neil is seriously dyslexic (all serotonin related). Since I’m ADHD myself, a lot of Dubya’s perverse behaviors (the weird word choices, his focus problems, need for physical activity & insistence on routine — not to mention his substance-abuse history) convince me Dubya is also ADHD. The weird body-management stuff is apparently related, too; these days, kids diagnosed with ADD are supposed to be given extra training to do stuff like skipping or throwing balls that other kids pick up ‘naturally’…

  35. 35.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 6:21 am

    @Satby:

    De nada.

  36. 36.

    Steeplejack

    November 4, 2015 at 6:24 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    So it’s not just that he’s an asshole, then . . .?

  37. 37.

    feebog

    November 4, 2015 at 11:15 am

    One has to wonder just how many times you can reconfigure/rehab/restart a campaign before the entire mess implodes. One also has to wonder who the hell is writing his material. “Jeb! can fix it” is about as lame and aimless a slogan I have ever heard. In recent interviews Jeb? sounds unfocused and whiny. Its as though he doesn’t even believe his own talking points; he is just reciting them by rote. Less than three months to Iowa, shit’s getting real.

  38. 38.

    Brachiator

    November 4, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    @feebog: In the latest poll, Bush has fallen to 4 per cent. It looks as though Jeb! can’t even fix his own sputtering campaign, let alone the country.

  39. 39.

    Germy Shoemangler

    November 4, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    @Anne Laurie: I suspect Sarah Palin and John McCain both have ADD.

    Just my armchair diagnosis based on their behavior.

  40. 40.

    FortGeek

    November 4, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    Jughead just needs to change his slogan slightly to get it perfect.

    From “Jug! can fix it!” to “Jug!’s in a fix!”

    (yeah, I know he dropped his exclamation point…I’m puttin’ back. Fixin’ it, as it were. He’ll take it and like it.)

  41. 41.

    inkadu

    November 4, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Thanks for that 40lb fact. Bush has been driving me crazy at the debates because none of his suits fit. I guess he’s not buying suits that fit because he’s planning to gain the weight back again just as soon as he starts leading the polls.

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