Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

I did not have this on my fuck 2024 bingo card.

Republicans in disarray!

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Let me file that under fuck it.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Straight outta Hopkins

Reader Interactions

98Comments

  1. 1.

    benw

    First Beyonce and now the rap music? This blog is getting urban right before our eyes!

    ETA: I blame the redesign, obvs.

  5. 5.

    trollhattan

    @BGinCHI:
    Find myself vacillating between whether Carson is Rainman or Forrest Gump. Determining which may require the Worst Roadtrip Ever.

  6. 6.

    Felanius Kootea

    For a minute there I thought Chamillionaire was lending his vocals to Ben Carson’s deranged campaign but Google assures me it’s some dude I never heard of who goes by “Aspiring Mogul.”

  8. 8.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @BGinCHI: Howdy. How’s things in Denmark? Norway? One of those places where daylight is going to be less abundant than in Chicago.

    @Elizabelle: Seconded.

  10. 10.

    BGinCHI

    Ben Carson: “You can judge a book by its cover. If the cover does not say “Bible” in large letters, then it is a terrible book. Unless it is my book. The title of which eludes me.”

  12. 12.

    BGinCHI

    Ben Carson: “You can step into the same river twice if you just pull your foot out, then put it back in again.”

  13. 13.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    He is the musical heir of Gil Scott-Heron! Come to think of it, I would love to see Ben Carson in a dashiki and one of those hats that I’m so white I don’t know what the name of it is.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    Ben Carson: “Blessed are the Peacemakers, saith the Lord. Ballistic missiles are patriotic and righteous.”

  15. 15.

    Renie

    OT. House passes a transportation bill that raises $9 billion by selling oil from the country’s emergency oil reserves. Can someone please tell these idiots oil is selling at very very low prices right now. What world do they live in?

  18. 18.

    Davebo

    @Renie: The sale will happen between 2018 and 2025.

    If oil is still at $48 a barrel in 2018 I’ll be looking for a tall bridge nearby.

  21. 21.

    gogol's wife

    Oh, now I get it. I thought Ben Carson went to the private school Hopkins in New Haven. Forgot about Johns.

  24. 24.

    Renie

    @Davebo: How can that be when the bill only funds for 6 years at most? And aren’t those reserves suppose to be only for emergency reasons?

  25. 25.

    WereBear

    I am finding it harder and harder to believe this isn’t very avant-garde performance art. And to think, the best is yet to come!*

    *Based on the ever-receding Wingularity.

    Mr WereBear commandeered my laptop to play this for me, struggling to keep a straight face. The last time he looked like that, it was to play Pat Boone’s version of Sandman.

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @benw:

    First Beyonce and now the rap music? This blog is getting urban right before our eyes!

    ETA: I blame the redesign, obvs.

    Can’t be the redesign. Look at all the white space.

  28. 28.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    Carson’s affect is so flat that there are a a couple of times in that ad where it sounds like he is startled by the music.

    (Yes, I know, recorded separately. The humorless literalists have been out in force lately.)

  32. 32.

    Doug!

    @Elizabelle:

    It may be used by National Review as further evidence that Carson is more “authentically black” than Obama but other than that, I don’t think it will do much.

  33. 33.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    I would love to see an SNL sketch with Carson in a dashiki plotting with his minions to go all Putney Swope on white America after his election.

  34. 34.

    Elizabelle

    @Felanius Kootea: I could only hear it once — can’t get Soundcloud to cough it up again; wants to send me to a Trump ad — but liked the background music.

    Kind of refreshing that it’s a positive ad (didn’t focus on his words much). Get tired of those disapproving or scoffing women they always have whingeing in political ads.

  36. 36.

    Elizabelle

    @Doug!: That’s a relief.

    Assuming it will broadcast in “urban” markets. Cannot imagine the old white peeps in minivans and PT Cruisers around here — with Carson stickers — listening to it.

    Another topic: GHWBush’s use of “iron-ass.” Applied to Cheney. Don’t you think Cheney would take it as a compliment?

    From Republican whisperer Peter Baker, NY Times:

    [GHWB] said he thought Mr. Cheney had changed since serving in his cabinet. “He just became very hard-line and very different from the Dick Cheney I knew and worked with,” Mr. Bush said. He attributed that to the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. “Just iron-ass. His seeming knuckling under to the real hard-charging guys who want to fight about everything, use force to get our way in the Middle East.”

    He speculated that Mr. Cheney was influenced by his wife, Lynne, and his daughter Liz, both strong conservatives. “I’ve concluded that Lynne Cheney is a lot of the eminence grise here – iron-ass, tough as nails, driving,” he said.

    …. In the course of researching the book, Mr. Meacham showed transcripts of the former president’s remarks to Mr. Cheney, who read them, smiled and said, “Fascinating.”

    “I never heard any of this from 41,” Mr. Cheney told Mr. Meacham. “He would sometimes stick his head in and we’d talk, but he never indicated anything like this.”

    Mr. Cheney did not argue with the notion that he had changed. “No question I was much harder-line after 9/11 than I was before, especially when we got into this whole area of terrorism, nukes and W.M.D.,” he said, meaning weapons of mass destruction. He added: “We were dealing with a completely different kind of threat after 9/11. We lost 3,000 people. It was worse than Pearl Harbor, here at home.” And so “we were justified in taking extraordinary measures to defend the country.”

    He agreed that his arrangement with the younger Mr. Bush was different, but said “that’s what President Bush 43 wanted.” He added, “I do disagree with putting it on Lynne and Liz.”

    Chilling to think of that Cheney smile.

  40. 40.

    jl

    @dedc79:

    ” Joseph invented hip hop as a way to celebrate storing all that grain in the pyramids. ”

    But where does all the milk and honey go?
    Hip hop celebrates milkshake, right?

  44. 44.

    raven

    “I happen to believe a lot of things that you don’t because I believe in the bible”! Big whoop.

  46. 46.

    Jewish Steel

    That is some funky-ass flute!

    Well my name is Ben Carson and I’m here to say
    Bolsheviks are here in the U S A

  47. 47.

    Yutsano

    @Benw: To be honest if O’Malley is part of that I am not gonna complain. If things were different he would have been the most buff president, well, ever.

    And before I get skinned: Obama is toned but not a huge amount of muscle there. Martin has guns even the NRA would respect.

  52. 52.

    Elizabelle

    @schrodinger’s cat: I’ve listened to very little news lately, but I am struck how network types don’t come out and say “he appeals to evangelicals.” They talk about his soothing voice and his medical career.

    It’s such disinformation.

  54. 54.

    Russ

    I believe that whoever is running his campaign is just trolling Carson to see how far they can get him to push the crazy and insane envelope.

  59. 59.

    Steeplejack

    @Elizabelle:

    Cheney: “We were dealing with a completely different kind of threat after 9/11. We lost 3,000 people. It was worse than Pearl Harbor, here at home.”

    Good thing that didn’t happen on his watch.

  61. 61.

    Calouste

    @schrodinger’s cat: The Iowa GOP primary voters just luuurvveee them some religious nuts. They voted for Huckabee in 2008 and Santorum in 2012. They are of course both running again, but have bad loser stink, and the only other really religious nut that is running is Cruz, but his assholiness/swarminess tends to overshadow his religiousness. IMO, the Iowa caucus is Carson’s to lose at the moment, although there are two recent polls that have Trump in the lead. (Which is a bit of a red flag concerning the polls that have Carson leading nationally, that he doesn’t seem to convert that into a lead in the early primary states. Which was what killed Giuliani.)

  62. 62.

    jl

    I’m afraid to listen. Is Carson’s hip hop spot any good?
    How does it rate compared to the fake Bernie dancing clip?

  63. 63.

    jl

    @Calouste: Heard that Cruz wants moderators of GOP primary debates to be vetted that they voted in GOP primaries. I think that might be a good idea. Certainly would get some politically suicidal crazy on during the GOP primary debates. Though, on second thought, that seems to be happening already. I guess it could get even worse, and Cruz would like to make even worse.

    If it hurts them badly in the general, I am all for Cruz’s plan.

  65. 65.

    slag

    @OzarkHillbilly: I wonder if that’s because, fundamentally, religious beliefs promote the just world fallacy. It requires some serious apologetics to get from believing in an omnipotent Creator of All Things to believing in bad bad luck. Some people just don’t have it in them. (As far as other people are concerned, that is. Lots of religious people can get there for themselves.)

  66. 66.

    Steeplejack

    @satby:

    Well, in (slight) defense, neither Hawaii nor Alaska was a state back then, so there was a strong identification of “America” being the contiguous 48 states.

    If terrorists bombed Guam or Puerto Rico today the wingnuts would react the same way. No, wait, they would move to impeach Obama and launch a devastating attack on somebody—anybody.

  67. 67.

    Calouste

    @jl: You mean Cruz just wants to hold all the debates on Fox? And you’re not telling me that the folks of CNBC aren’t Republicans. Maybe they don’t vote in the primaries though.

    ETA: I realize it’s rather funny that the whole GOP rant against the media comes after a debate on the channel that is most friendly to them, bar Fox.

  68. 68.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @satby: It is worse than that. He thinks the only casualties that count are those from Pearl Harbor. That the US deaths in the Philippines or Midway or any place else in the Pacific meant nothing.

  69. 69.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @slag: I wonder if that’s because, fundamentally, religious beliefs promote the just world fallacy people are dicks. But I repeat myself.

  71. 71.

    TheHalfrican

    Wasn’t lying about the flute. This shit is legit dope. Talking as a experienced beatmaker here.

  72. 72.

    slag

    @OzarkHillbilly: Chicken-and-egg, I guess. Does religiosity turn people into dicks or do dicks turn into religious people? I, for one, don’t believe in original sin. Consequently, I tend to blame nurture over nature on this one.

  80. 80.

    Keith G

    @Elizabelle:

    Chilling to think of that Cheney smile.

    I believe that smile was an outward manifestation of an interior monologue:

    When he stuck his head into my office, I could have snapped his patrician neck like a cheap pencil. And I should ‘a.

  81. 81.

    Steeplejack

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    Well, that’s a pleasant surprise.

    Okay, geezer anecdote alert: Putney Swope was the first movie I saw when I arrived at college in the fall of ’69. I was pretty film literate from reading my parents’ subscription to Time magazine (don’t laugh), but I hadn’t seen much outside of the Hollywooden mainstream because I never lived in a big city with “art house” cinemas. (This was pre-cable, pre-DVD, pre-videocassette—pre-everything.)

    Putney Swope was like a gale-force blast of fresh air. Even at the time I thought, “Okay, not the greatest movie ever, but more like this, please!” And that was followed by my seeing four to six movies a week all through my college career. And that was when you had to leg it to theaters and auditoriums to see the movies, keeping track of all the film societies, student groups and seminars (which would usually let me slip in on screening nights, even if I wasn’t enrolled in the class).

    And Hollywood was just beginning to awaken from its torpor for the golden age of the ’70s. The other movie I remember from that fall was Easy Rider, which ran in a commercial theater downtown (small Midwest college town). At the end of the movie a kid down front in the packed house stood up and screamed “Pigs!” at the screen. Good times. I later knew him in journalism school. He was a Jewish guy from New York City who had one of the biggest afros I ever saw.

  83. 83.

    PAM Dirac

    JHU BA 77 PhD 85. Represent! One of the questions on my grad board orals was to explain spin-orbit coupling in rap form.

  86. 86.

    Applejinx

    @Omnes Omnibus: No, he’s right. it’s not a disgraceful beat. It’s a decent or even good beat, being used to support a disgraceful PERSON. The flute’s actually quite good, if it wasn’t a travesty to imply Carson is a serene hip hop hippie bringing spirituality and determination to Washington along with justice for black lives.

    Sadly, to imply that IS a travesty, so disgracefulness there is: but it’s not the beat, that’s cool.

  88. 88.

    Shana

    @gogol’s wife: No, it’s not a mistake. You get virtually all of the show since it’s largely sung-through.

    Unlike, say, “Babes in Arms” where you have no f**king idea what the show is about based on the soundtrack.

  91. 91.

    Davebo

    @Renie:

    It’s not the first time. And thanks to the fracking boom the reserves really aren’t as “strategic” as they once were. Hence the $45.00 oil.

    The SPR is a bit of a joke and has been for over a decade. I can’t recall if Boeing or Lockheed has the contract now to manage it (i.e.: stare at a shitload of oil in salt domes) but both have had the contract in the past.

  92. 92.

    Another Holocene Human

    @OzarkHillbilly: I wonder if it’s certain religious beliefs (the ones that are most popular worldwide right now). Or maybe they all trend to dickishness. It’s just keep in mind just because Xtianity is mostly a certain way, or Islam, or mainstream popular Buddhism (I guess? what pop was this research done on?) doesn’t mean that all religions for all time share the same beliefs and practices.

  96. 96.

    Paul in KY

    @BGinCHI: You haven’t gone through one yet, though? Praise not the Bergen Winter until you have experienced the Bergen Winter (old Norse proverb)

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