Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

The words do not have to be perfect.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Everybody saw this coming.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Consistently wrong since 2002

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

You are here: Home / Popular Culture / Gamer Dork / Best Game Review Ever

Best Game Review Ever

by | 59 Comments

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I was going through the Steam Store checking out the new releases, and Call of Duty: Black Ops III was released at midnight, and apparently there have been some problems. Whenever a game has mixed reviews on Steam, I read a couple to see what the issue is and lo and behold, found the best review ever:

When i was 6 years old, my uncle came over and had a really cool board game. He told me it was the best game ever, and sold it to me for all my allowance I had been saving up from my parents.

Long story short, most of the pieces were missing and my uncle was addicted to meth and ripped me off. I’ve never felt like I did as a child that day until now. Thanks Treyarch.

I’m dying.

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  5. 5.

    Felonius Monk

    Is that supposed to imply that COD:Black Ops was created in a meth lab or can only be played in a meth lab?

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    Still laughing. The “meth uncle” story is a memorable detail. It’s got enough crunchiness to attach to Treyarch.

  7. 7.

    SiubhanDuinne

    O/T, but is anyone planning to put up a debate/forum/townhall/whateverthefuckit’scalled thread a little closer to 8:00pm EST? Is it even going to be worth following, do you think? I would like to see how Kindly Doc Maddow does, but because of the format being forced on her, it may just be a series of three interviews.

    Anyhow, for those of us who are interested*, a dedicated thread would be welcome. TIA.

    *(or who have nothing better to do on a Friday night)

  8. 8.

    Really?

    Sweet Jesus, Tweety has Randy on his show and good fuck it’s just so sad adjectives fail me.

  13. 13.

    Origuy

    Probably a mistake to release on all platforms at the same time. QA on interactive systems is hard. Consoles are a little easier because you know what the configuration is. PCs, on the other hand, are all over the map with different video cards, memory sizes, etc. The comments at that link, though, are all “Console RULEZ! PC DROOLZ!”

  16. 16.

    Origuy

    Oh, and Trump is calling out Bill Kristol on Twitter.

    @BillKristol has become a sad case. His magazine is failing badly, probably doesn’t have long to go, and his predictions are always wrong!

  17. 17.

    dmsilev

    @MomSense: It’s a “forum”, not a debate. The candidates will be on stage and answering questions one at a time, rather than all together and talking to each other. And it’s the Democrats, not the Republicans. The GOP candidates aren’t going to even consider subjecting themselves to Rachel Maddow.

  18. 18.

    Corner Stone

    @Origuy:

    Probably a mistake to release on all platforms at the same time before you have a working comment platform choice.

  19. 19.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): Back in February, the New Yorker did an extensive profile of Lin-Manuel.
    http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/09/hamiltons

    Miranda had something different in mind. A few months earlier, he and his girlfriend, Vanessa Nadal, who has since become his wife, had been on vacation in Mexico, and while bobbing in the pool on an inflatable lounger he started to read a book that he had bought on impulse: Ron Chernow’s eight-hundred-page biography of Alexander Hamilton. Miranda was seized by the story of Hamilton’s early life. Born out of wedlock, raised in poverty in St. Croix, abandoned by his father, and orphaned by his mother as a child, Hamilton transplanted himself as an adolescent to a New York City filled with revolutionary fervor.

  20. 20.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @MomSense:
    @benw:

    You don’t think the Republicans would let Rachel Maddow moderate, do you!?

    :-)

    This is billed as a Democratic Candidates’ Forum, as it is not
    part of the six-debate cycle imposed by DWS. So the three candidates will not be on stage together, but beyond that I’m not quite clear on the details of the format. In fact, that’s part of the reason I’d like to see a dedicated thread, in case something interesting emerges.

    ETA: Or what dmsilev said.

  21. 21.

    raven

    This is one of those times I’m glad I’m old and don’t know what the fuck Cole is talking about.

  22. 22.

    The Dangerman

    Hold the hell on; I go away for a few days and someone goes and makes this site look all … all … what’s the word?…

  26. 26.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    Now that you mention it, nor did I. But I imagine that’s because Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is ultimately in charge of all those hundreds of emails, and tonight’s event is strictly an MSNBC thing with no connection to the DNC.

  30. 30.

    Corner Stone

    OK. What in the everlovingfuck? There’s a movie coming on ElRey called “Avalanche Sharks”.
    And it’s not a play on dudbros taking advantage of snowbunnies and getting them in the sack. It is apparently actual sharks attacking people in the snow. It’s not on yet but I am waiting. Just waiting.

  34. 34.

    MomSense

    I was a little surprised that Republicans were going to try to answer questions from a reality based moderator like Maddow.

    At dinner tonight we were laughing about some of the pranks my middle son used to play in school. In Maine all the seventh graders are issued laptops and periodically have to surrender them so the teachers can make sure they didn’t visit any prohibited sites. My son used to encourage students (especially the mean/bully ones) to visit a wicked cool website called pen island dot com.

    My youngest is now at this school and tells me that some of the teachers still laugh about his brother’s antics.

  37. 37.

    The Dangerman

    @Corner Stone: Ok, editing a comment is also borked now.

    Borked! That’s the word. And, dammit, where’s the toolbar?

    A bork is a bork
    Of course, of course
    And no one can talk to a bork, of course
    That is, of course, unless the bork, is the famous…

  38. 38.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @MomSense:

    Not Republicans.

    Although I’ve actually been saying for a while that I’d love to see a GOP debate hosted by, say, Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann, and a Dem debate moderated by Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, and Sean Hannity.

  39. 39.

    Corner Stone

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I’d love to see a GOP debate hosted by, say, Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann, and a Dem debate moderated by Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, and Sean Hannity

    Why? The R’s would just say that the question was a lie and the liberal media was trying to cheap shot them. The D’s would actually try to answer the the over-torqued BS, disingenuous questions they would be asked and all that would be shown would be the “when did you stop beating your wife” parts.

  47. 47.

    Shantanu Saha

    I dunno. When I was six I was regularly beating one of my uncles in chess. Aside from the fact that I didn’t get an allowance (and thus had no cash to grift) I would not have bought a game without first looking at it.

    and it persists to this day. I’ll let all the other guys kill themselves with the first release of any software. I certainly don’t relish being a guinea pig.

  48. 48.

    Roger Moore

    @redshirt:

    As usual when it comes to his attacks on “fellow” republicans, Trump is right.

    It’s a target-rich environment. They’ve gotten fat and lazy from being protected by their enablers in the media.

  51. 51.

    Gravenstone

    @Origuy:

    “Console RULEZ! PC DROOLZ!”

    Which is humorous, as I’ve been reading the occasional article about Fallout 4, and the PC fanbois are out in serious force. Oh so much hate for the console players. One memorable poster bragging about how he’d bought a pair of GTX 980 Ti cards for an SLi rig, just so he could play it at 4K.

  59. 59.

    Ryan

    2/3 of the way through Fallout 4 preloading. I’m pretty stoked. I’m even taking 3 days of vacation next week, though to be fair, I also have to finish putting together a class too.

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