Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

This fight is for everything.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. Do not congratulate. This is not business as usual.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

It looks like winning debates is a black job!

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Reader Interactions

111Comments

  4. 4.

    debbie

    It also helps to use Mucinex and Delsym. Copious amounts of mucous will be produced, but getting it out of there will lessen the duration of the infection.

  5. 5.

    HinTN

    Well PTL. I might have said pound sand hoping you would transliterate that to push fluids, but in your present state…

  6. 6.

    Roy Greene

    Cole,

    I care! You need to take a high quality probiotic, daily. You get sick way too much. Remember all good health stems from your gut bacteria. It’s the least you can do now that you stopped drinking.

    Roy Greene

  8. 8.

    JPL

    Thank you for the update. I’ll restate what Roy said. Start taking a good quality probiotic. We need your snark because the election is heating up.

  11. 11.

    Mike J

    @Shantanu Saha: The same reason the random quote isn’t randomising, I’d guess. Scotty and the boys down in engineering are down in the Jefferies tubes actively working on the site.

  13. 13.

    gogol's wife

    Feel better, John.

    Is everybody else seeing the same tranquil lake landscape at the top of every single post?

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    What’s Russian for “Oopsies”? I’ll say it’s “Oh borscht!”

    In any case, Oh, borscht!

    The Kremlin says secret plans for a Russian long-range nuclear torpedo – called “Status-6” – should not have appeared on Russian TV news. The leak happened during a report on state-run Channel One about President Vladimir Putin meeting military chiefs in the city of Sochi.

    One general was seen studying a diagram of the “devastating” torpedo system. Launched by a submarine, it would create “wide areas of radioactive contamination”, the document says.

    The “oceanic multi-purpose Status-6 system” is designed to “destroy important economic installations of the enemy in coastal areas and cause guaranteed devastating damage to the country’s territory by creating wide areas of radioactive contamination, rendering them unusable for military, economic or other activity for a long time”, the document says.

    “It’s true some secret data got into the shot, therefore it was subsequently deleted,” said Mr Putin’s spokesman Dmitry Peskov.

    Has Vlad taken delivery of his eyepatch and fat white cat, yet?

  15. 15.

    pamelabrown53

    Glad you’re feeling better, John. I expect that another round of antibiotics and a good night’s sleep will show a vast improvement from today to tomorrow.

  18. 18.

    rikyrah

    Am I…?”: A Photo Series and Documentary Film Explore the Complexities of Black Woman’s Identities.
    Written by Nadia A. Sesay.

    It makes sense that a question about self-identity begins with “Am I…?” This is the starting point for both photographer Endia Beal, in her newest photo series, “Am I What You’re Looking For?” and for Nadia Sasso, filmmaker of “Am I: Too African to be American or Too American to be African?”

    Endia Beal captures the anxiousness of young African American female undergraduate students who are preparing for their first job interviews. The reservations the women express come from uncertainties they feel on how to best present themselves in the workplace. For many, if not most, black women, occupying professional settings and navigating through these very white spaces often means sacrificing facets of not only their physical identifies, but their characters too. These attempts at ‘fitting in’ and camouflaging oneself often come from the need to not be categorized as any of the negative stereotypes associated with black womanhood, as a form of survival.

    http://dynamicafrica.tumblr.com/post/132055013380/am-i-a-photo-series-and-documentary-film

  20. 20.

    pamelabrown53

    @trollhattan:
    Vlad, the Putin waxes dangerously nostalgic for the good old days of Soviet hegemony fever dreams. Problem is he’ll bankrupt the Russian economy again in search of a former (unrealized) “glory”.

  23. 23.

    Amir Khalid

    @trollhattan:
    That was no oopsie. The Russians probably could develop such a weapon, at that: it’s an existing technology, only bigger. Whether they could work up the nerve to drop it on anyone — or even to credibly threaten to do it — well, that’s a whole nother question. No one has in the past 70 years; there must be a reason for that.

  24. 24.

    Germy Shoemangler

    Andy White has died at the age of 85.

    He was the session drummer for EMI who was called in to play on the Beatles “Love Me Do” and “P.S. I Love You”

  27. 27.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @Shantanu Saha: Hey, that’s my photo. I didn’t even realize until I read your comment. The repeating is another ghosting glitch that seems to happen when we’re “under construction”. Like John’s cold, it will clear up eventually.

  32. 32.

    schrodinger's cat

    All you wanted to know about the latest assembly elections in Bihar, India and did not know whom to ask. Modi’s party was vanquished did not even win 1/3 of the total seats. Modi’s party does not control India’s upper house and his control got even more tenuous after these elections.
    I go in detail about the origin of the toxic ideology that fuels Prime Minister Narendra Modi and his fellow travelers. T

  33. 33.

    trollhattan

    At what point does BJ hold a fundraiser to get Zandar the hell out of Kentucky? Just wow.

    A controversial Noah’s Ark-themed amusement park in Kentucky will open on July 7, 2016, the park’s founder said on Thursday.

    Currently under construction in Williamstown, northern Kentucky, Ark Encounter will include a full-sized wooden replica of the ship from the Biblical story of Noah and the great flood. Ken Ham, president and chief executive of Answers in Genesis, the Christian organization behind the project, announced the opening date at a press conference and said the park should attract at least 1.4 million people annually.

    “It’ll certainly be one of the biggest Christian attractions in the world,” he said from the site of the park.

    In the summer of 2014, Kentucky officials awarded the park’s developers tax incentives, potentially worth more than $18 million over 10 years. However, state officials in December pulled the credits after developers said they would only hire workers who shared their fundamentalist Christian beliefs.

    Ark Encounter officials then sued the state in federal court in February to get the incentives reinstated.

  36. 36.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @WereBear: No, he was never going to be a Beatle (like Pete Best) he was just called in when producer George Martin got nervous about Ringo’s abilities. Back then, producers liked to throw their weight around in the studio. It never happened again.

    Andy had a long and varied career, and never wanted to be in the group. I heard an alternate take (Ringo drumming on Love Me Do) and it sounds great. Andy was a nice man, but there was no reason to call him in.

  37. 37.

    satby

    We do care, we just show it weird ways. Glad you’re getting a bit better, and I would echo the comments about probiotics. They do help your immune system. Take it easy and get all the way better!

  39. 39.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @schrodinger’s cat: The comment numbers will be floating in the next Thanksgiving Day parade. Let’s all comment profusely and make this year’s Macy’s Day an unforgettable one.

  42. 42.

    Bobby Thomson

    @Lamh36: a shitty medical insurance/delivery service system, accompanied by doctors who refuse to prescribe antibiotics unless you actually have pneumonia, making it not worth your while to burn sick time to sit in a disease ridden series of rooms all for a perfunctory, “rest, fluids, OTC remedy” and a huge copay.

    Does that about cover it?

  44. 44.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @trollhattan:

    Ark Encounter will include a full-sized wooden replica of the ship from the Biblical story of Noah and the great flood. Ken Ham, president and chief executive of Answers in Genesis….

    His partners are Ken Shem and Ken Japheth.

  45. 45.

    Bobby Thomson

    @Germy Shoemangler: so they say, but that generally has not been my experience. And if that IS the problem, why should anyone ever go to the doctor for common cold or flu symptoms, however crippling?

  46. 46.

    J R in WV

    John:

    Glad you’re feeling better. We do care! Except for the trolls… who aren’t quite human, are they?

    Seconds on probiotics and nutritional supplements. Several family members have used them and lived a long life. Grandma didn’t take any vitamins, and lived to be 92, so go figure…

    Anyway, best of luck recovering.

  47. 47.

    trollhattan

    @Benw: @SiubhanDuinne:
    We should so be on their board. We could make the place YOOOGE and classy and so much more fun. “Solve this Deuteronomy quiz about spilling seed and win a map to Noah’s secret bourbon bar.”

  49. 49.

    bemused

    @trollhattan:

    That’s got boondoggle written all over it. Does Kentucky really think they will recoup that huge investment? Maybe I’m wrong but last I read other Creation Museums not doing that well.

  52. 52.

    Bill Arnold

    My iPhone 4 now can fit the same number of balloon-juice comments on a screen as a full up laptop with Firefox, and with a similar font on the iPhone 4.

  56. 56.

    RSA

    @Bill Arnold:

    My iPhone 4 now can fit the same number of balloon-juice comments on a screen as a full up laptop with Firefox, and with a similar font on the iPhone 4.

    Whoa! I gotta get me an iPhone 4.

  58. 58.

    Amir Khalid

    I know many of us have said how much they missed him. THE BALLOON MAN IS BACK!! Snoopy dance!

  60. 60.

    gogol's wife

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yes, although is he the same man?

    Now I’m going to see if the back button works.

    It took me to comment #1. I guess that’s something.

  62. 62.

    Jay C

    @bemused:

    While I quite agree about the “boondoggle” part, it’s probably more likely that the “tax incentives” mentioned are waivers of taxes due on any income over the incentive period – IOW, forgone revenue in the future, rather than money paid out now.
    Thiough, IMO, the Ark Park is more likely than its namesake to end up underwater….

  63. 63.

    seaboogie

    @trollhattan:

    Also, too, very klassy with the bold and the italics

    What – no Underline? Fine. Hows about arrows pointing at the numbers from top and bottom, left and right? Of course it goes without saying that either the number or the arrows should be blinking like Christmas lights.

  66. 66.

    Germy Shoemangler

    from the associated press:

    Colonel Sanders wants to come to your home: KFC said it will start delivering its buckets of fried chicken to customers in two U.S. cities.

    It will be the first time the chicken chain has delivered in the United States. Starting Thursday, people in Los Angeles and San Francisco will be able to have food delivered. KFC said it expects to expand the delivery service into Houston by the end of this year. More cities may come later.

    KFC is working with online delivery company DoorDash to deliver its chicken, biscuits and coleslaw. Customers will have to make orders through DoorDash’s app or website.

    The chicken won’t come cheap: There’s a delivery fee between $4.99 and $6.99, depending on a customer’s location, and prices of some items will be higher than those in the restaurants. Its value meals, however, such as its eight-piece $20 Family Fill Up will stay the same price. All menu items at the restaurant will be available to order, the companies said.

  67. 67.

    Roger Moore

    @trollhattan:

    Ark Encounter will include a full-sized wooden replica of the ship from the Biblical story of Noah and the great flood.

    Are they going to show exactly how they would manage to package every species of animal in the world and enough food for all of them into the space? Will they provide work schedules for how they cleared out all the feces (except for that needed to feed the dung beetles)?

  68. 68.

    Bill Arnold

    @RSA:
    I just tried “User-Agent Switcher 0.1.3” and it works fine to force firefox to use a mobile site, but i mostly use my firefox for other things.

  69. 69.

    Amir Khalid

    @seaboogie:
    Steady on with the suggestions. You don’t want to get Mr God Mode all riled up at commenters trying to redesign the site by committee. Who knows what he might do.

  70. 70.

    catclub

    @bemused:

    tax incentives, potentially worth more than $18 million over 10 years.

    Not exactly an investment, more like encouragement.

  73. 73.

    trollhattan

    @Roger Moore:
    It’s a thorny problem. I’d start with “How many cubits per brontosaur?” and go from there. Will they have a microbe room or do they still hold disease being caused by impure thoughts and/or æther?

  74. 74.

    Bill Arnold

    @Roger Moore:

    Are they going to show exactly how they would manage to package every species of animal in the world and enough food for all of them into the space?

    It will be particularly interesting to hear about their approach to several levels of hyperparasitism. (Mostly wasps.)

  76. 76.

    Keith G

    @Roy Greene:

    I care! You need to take a high quality probiotic, daily.

    As a placebo maybe. There is no scientific study that I have seen that says otherwise.

    You would be just as well off obtaining some tiger penis from your friendly neighborhood Vietnamese herbalist.

  81. 81.

    gvg

    Glad you are feeling better.

    I am not seeing fall scenes, just a Balloon man on every post. I think maybe whatever the most recent post picks is being duplicated? Firefox on a mac. Love comment numbers.

  82. 82.

    Felonius Monk

    Round two of antibiotics, and still sleeping a boatload. Starting finally feeling a little bit better.

    Divulging personal medical information is a violation of the HIPAA privacy rule. Do we have to go to jail now because we read this? :)

  83. 83.

    Bobby Thomson

    @Germy Shoemangler: and if that’s the case, no one should be going to the doctor because the doctor can’t or at least won’t do jack shit.

    Or we could just blame men’s ego issues.

  84. 84.

    Amir Khalid

    Via TPM, news that Dr Ben’s campaign has intel assets in or near Syria who insist that China’s military is there. Well, at least Armstrong Williams says so.

  89. 89.

    japa21

    Show up early, no numbers. Come back later, numbers but about a mile above the comment. Now numbers with the comment right under it. Progress!!!

  90. 90.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @kc:

    What fresh hell is this? Now there are now flashing arrows on every FP post?

    To paraphrase Woollcott, there’s nothing wrong with this website that a miracle can’t fix.

  91. 91.

    Germy Shoemangler

    I like that the quoted sentences are in a larger point size than the rest of the comment. It looks better, IMO

  92. 92.

    J R in WV

    In our experience, when people with compromised immune systems have viral infections, frequently doctors will prescribe antibiotics to prevent the patient from acquiring a bacterial infection while suffering from the viral infection.

    Mrs J had septic shock, which is a blow to your immune system. Ever since she gets more antibiotics than the average customer. Maybe John’s medical folks worry that he has less of an immune system than some folks – he is sick more often than some of us, after all.

    I’m willing to cut everyone some slack on this medical issue, as well as the site rebuild. But this is Balloon-Juice, so some will cut no slack, and others will not even notice the slack that needed cutting. Is that clear? not really…….

  93. 93.

    les

    Remodel question: is there a pie filter update? I see (and can use) the pie filter stuff buttons, but no filter is occurring.

  97. 97.

    trollhattan

    @J R in WV:
    During her last fifteen years or so my mom’s doctor was wonderful in staying on top of her colds, wanting to see her right away any time one occurred. She had had a bad pneumonia bout that scarred her lungs and made her more susceptible to more of the same–a viscous cycle. He wasn’t able to keep her out of the hospital completely but was certainly able to stave off quite a few trips by prescribing antibiotics as a preventive measure. Definitely not for everybody but I’m certain her life was extended by many years due to his diligence.

  98. 98.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @trollhattan: And that’s the definition of a good doctor. Someone who knows what to prescribe, and when necessary. My parents, during their last illnesses, had mostly good doctors, but also a few terrible doctors.

  99. 99.

    Mike J

    @les:

    Remodel question: is there a pie filter update? I see (and can use) the pie filter stuff buttons, but no filter is occurring.

    Cleek’s or the other one? Either way, I’d guess the authors are waiting for the new comment system to be put in before they fix it. If it doesn’t happen I’ll fix one of them.

  100. 100.

    catclub

    @Germy Shoemangler: It was the More Better Balloon Juice script.
    I enabled it and the responses had alternating backgrounds – white and light blue. Now that is gone.

    I assume the newer versions (I installed just a few days ago) of BJ bork that older script.

  101. 101.

    The Golux

    @JCJ:

    …I believe that is from Blazing Saddles…

    Funny thing about that movie: There are a zillion memorable quotes (“…you know, morons.”; “…little bastard shot me in the ass.”; “It’s twue! It’s twue!”), but when you actually watch the film, it doesn’t flow as well as it could, especially when compared to “Young Frankenstein”.

  102. 102.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @The Golux: There are few comedies that would fare well compared to “Young Frankenstein.” It’s like saying “That’s a nice sculpture but it really doesn’t hold up well against Michelangelo’s David.”

  104. 104.

    seaboogie

    @japa21:

    Show up early, no numbers. Come back later, numbers but about a mile above the comment. Now numbers with the comment right under it. Progress!!!

    Seems like a good time to reiterate a request for a “Pony” button.

  105. 105.

    sharl

    “This unquestionably was a tragic loss of life, but to compound the tragedy by labeling the officers conduct as anything but objectively reasonable would also be a tragedy, albeit not carrying with it the consequences of the loss of life, only the possibility of loss of career,” wrote W. Ken Katsaris, a certified Florida law enforcement officer instructor and consultant in law enforcement and corrections.

    I was at first wondering if Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Timothy J. McGinty might have called in that “expert witness” who always testifies that police shootings were justified (for the record, that’s William J. Lewinski). But no, it was this Ken Katsaris guy, who way back when was Sheriff of Leon County, Florida, and who earned his fame in the capture of Ted Bundy. Katsaris left that government job a long time ago, and is now in business for himself, apparently providing high-end whitewashing jobs.

  106. 106.

    seaboogie

    @seaboogie:

    Seems like a good time to reiterate a request for a “Pony” button.

    But I’d settle for a more succincter “Recent Posts”, sans italics, underlines, arrows and flashing lights. I’m easy that way.

  108. 108.

    Robert

    Well of course we care, John; however, you need to get yourself well because your insightful commentary is missing (not to mention the on going saga of Thurston).

  109. 109.

    Prescott Cactus

    @Amir Khalid: Carson campaign already back peddling this. Claims he meant Chinese restaurants. Two Le Ho Fook’s franchises have opened near Aleppo. . .

  110. 110.

    mclaren

    Round two of antibiotics…

    Summarizes everything wrong with Shithole America. Colds are caused by rhinoviruses, flu is caused by the influenza virus.

    Neither one responds to antibiotics, which are effective only against bacterial infections.

    You’d have better luck getting yourself bled with leeches, or hiring a medicine man to prance around in a wooden mask and cast spells to get rid of the evil ju-ju.

  111. 111.

    mclaren

    @Prescott Cactus:

    I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
    Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
    He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook’s
    Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein
    Aaoooooo!
    Werewolves of London!
    Aaoooooo!

Comments are closed.