Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

We’re not going back!

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

So many bastards, so little time.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

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NFL Open Thread

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So here are my weekly picks. I think I’ve been regressing as the season wears on (in terms of accuracy), but ex-players and analysts who are paid big bucks to make predictions on TV are either worse or not much better than I am, so there’s that:

nfl week 10

My upset pick of the week is the Giants over the Patriots. Maybe some Giants receiver will trap a football against his head to keep a late drive alive and set up the game-winning score. Crazy shit happens sometimes.

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

164Comments

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    I keep wondering why anyone would order a sriracha pizza? If you’re a fan of the sauce then you most likely have some at home. Order the pizza you want then add as needed. If you are not sure if you like sriracha then why would you decide to try some by putting it on a whole pizza?

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    ex-players and analysts who are paid big bucks to make predictions on TV are either worse or not much better than I am

    They are the worst. The CW of the sports media zone. I watch the pre-game post-game stuff for the sporadic news updates and game film, mostly. Every so often they will break down a play where I gain some insight, but it’s not all that regular.

  5. 5.

    RobertDSC (Quad Intel Mac)

    I can’t hate the Giants. As a Pats fan, I should hate them. But I can’t. They beat us fair and square and that’s that.

    I still hope for a win today.

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    @PaulW:

    and Mike “Dropsies” Evans!

    It’s almost like he’s taunting the Ghost of Limas Sweed and Braylon Edwards at this point.

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    Panthers are only laying 3.5 at Titans?
    Damn. I just looked at their remaining schedule and they are a virtual lock to go undefeated coming home.

  10. 10.

    Corner Stone

    Well, I had a semi quandary for a little while but that was just resolved when Landry Jones went out due to injury.

  11. 11.

    Steeplejack

    Football is happening at 10:00 a.m. here. Slightly weird, but I can deal with it. My TV box is offering me Browns-Steelers and nothing else. So I’ll go with that.

  16. 16.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    If anyone remembers the wind knocking down a 22-YD FG attempt last mid-November, weather report in Hamilton, the same stadium, is for heavy winds again today.

  20. 20.

    p.a.

    Pats fan take:
    Giants deserved both SB wins. In 2011 the were a better team overall. In 2007 they dominated the game but it still took possibly the luckiest play in the history of championship games to enable the win. IIRC the catch was a 3rd down play so they still had another shot. I blame the ‘genius’ for the 07 loss. The arrogant fuck had to go with a scorched earth policy for all 16 regular season games because of Spygate, and the team was worn out. If Rivers were healthy in the AFC Champ game SD would have won. Nothing left in the tank. And Strahan, Tuck et al gave the coup de grace.

  21. 21.

    JPL

    @Corner Stone: The Panthers still have to play the Falcons. lol
    Did you see where they listed Peyton with sore ribs? Peyton will never take himself out of the game so they should watch him.

    Great catch and great fumble. whoops

  23. 23.

    Corner Stone

    @Omnes Omnibus: I suspect there is somewhat more to the story. Maybe if so we will find out shortly.

    ETA, I am aware Starks was named the starter. That is precisely why when he was listed as inactive due to “groin” I wondered curiously what in the world was going on with Eddie Lacy.

  25. 25.

    dedc79

    NFL Network has been re-airing the two giants v pats super bowls all week. Good times. Alas, I don’t think another upset is likely today.

  28. 28.

    khead

    @Corner Stone:

    And the number was bet down from 4.5/5 on Friday! Was 4.5 on the DE card. Number one play in the NFL contest in Vegas. Every talking head and/or gambler that took Tenn expected a letdown from the Panthers. Not happening so far for the Panthers O.

  29. 29.

    Mike J

    Watching Season 1 of GBBO until Seahawks time. I predict Sehawks will lead 27-0[1] in the third quarter and still find a way to lose.

    [1] 27 points scored on 9 FGs, since they can’t do anything in the brown zone.

  30. 30.

    p.a.

    @dedc79: not like a win today makes up for those 2 games. If Pats had won those SBs NE would seceed and install TB12 as king. (Monarchism would seem to fit his politics).

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    Does anyone else get the atrociously bad commercials for an insurance company The General? The ones where policy holders mysteriously acquire an Army style helmet.
    Just curious if it’s regional because I can’t believe they are a big company based on the horribad TV commercials.

  32. 32.

    p.a.

    @Corner Stone: yep. 1990-ish style animated general.

    See the ads for Mini Moe? Buy the minimum necessary car insurance to be able to drive legally. It’s got just the kind of sleazy style that it seems to be aimed not at the working poor who just need the bare minimum to be able to drive and function, but aimed at people who lost their license and shouldn’t be able to drive again.

  34. 34.

    Debbie

    @Corner Stone:

    Those General commercials have been running for years and they’ve always been horrible. Probably the same ad agency as for Carvel ice cream and Fudgie the Whale.

  36. 36.

    FlyingToaster

    @p.a.:

    If Pats had won those SBs NE would seceed and install TB12 as king. (Monarchism would seem to fit his politics).

    Not hardly. New Englanders are too fractious a bunch, even 240 years later, to allow for a monarchy. We Bay Staters barely tolerate our Governors.

  37. 37.

    max

    Bucs might get an upset. No good sense about that. I think the Redskins might have enough to take te Saints. I have no idea what’s going on in the Stellers-Browns game so Browns. Raiders over Vikings. Pats over Giants, even though the Giants have been looking decent lately. (Happy to be wrong.) Bengals over Texans? Oh, yeah…

    max
    [‘There are a lot of goddamn leaves out there. Back to the mowing.’]

  39. 39.

    Corner Stone

    Packers with 3 points at almost the half? What in the world is going on with this Wisconsin football team?

  41. 41.

    Corner Stone

    @max:

    Bengals over Texans? Oh, yeah…

    Hey, now. We still have a shot at winning this division.
    Plus, maybe look ahead game for the Bengals? Maybe? Maybe lookahead, hmmmm?

  43. 43.

    Tenar Darell

    @Corner Stone: Only good reason is that you’re not going home and you want to make sure you get plenty of pizza either at the restaurant or wherever you’re bringing the pizza. It’s the ultimate mark of “MINE.”

  44. 44.

    Corner Stone

    @Tenar Darell: Oh, that is icky. It’s like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant? If you’re taking it to a game watching party it’s like that douchecanoe in the Taco Bell commercials from a few years ago where everyone else is having communal snacks and he rolls up in a Miami Vice-esque blazer jacket with his own Taco Bell ensemble.

  46. 46.

    Corner Stone

    @Peale: I thought all the Kardashians were otherwise accounted for? Is there a blonde country singer spotted somewhere deep in Wiscy?

  49. 49.

    dedc79

    @p.a.: The best part of those highlights is watching Brady pick himself up off the ground again and again. He was so unused to getting hit. He did not care for the feeling, at all.

  50. 50.

    Corner Stone

    Not a fan of Johnny Football but that was one of the nastiest damn face masks I have seen made in some years.

  52. 52.

    Betty Cracker

    @Tenar Darell: I had a roommate in the dorms once who used to ostentatiously lick every slice of leftover pizza before she stored it in the common mini-fridge.

  55. 55.

    Corner Stone

    “DROPPED by Evans!!”

    Somewhere Limas Sweed is silently raising a glass to the man attempting to surpass him.

  56. 56.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    @Debbie: Tom Carvel starred in his own ads, which is a bit of an excuse. I don’t know if there’s a General at that company.

    The actual, annoying General character reminds me of Commander McBragg, without any of the humor.

    If you remember Tom Carvel, do you remember the equally unpolished Tommy Van Scoy’s Diamond Mine ads?

  57. 57.

    FlyingToaster

    @efgoldman: Fifth. In a row. Previous 4 indicted, if not convicted, for corruption.

    Like Rhode Island and Providence Plantations can say anything about Massachusetts corruption…

  60. 60.

    FlyingToaster

    @p.a.: If you’d seen some of the “Democratic” alternatives:

    Bill Weld vs John Silber (AKA “Vomit LIves”)
    Bill Weld vs Mark Roosevelt (Who?)
    Paul Celluci vs Scott Harshbarger (NO gambling establishments)
    Mitt Romney vs Shannon O’Brien (Hand picked by Tom Finneran, Speaker convicted 2007)
    Kerry Healey vs Deval Patrick
    Charlie Baker vs Deval Patrick
    Charlie Baker vs Martha Coakley (Satanic Panic)

    It’s been a very rocky road in Massachusetts Politics. The only R I ever voted for was Weld (vs. Silber).

  63. 63.

    NotMax

    @ThresherK

    East coast. Possibly also midwest. Don’t know offhand if his franchises extended beyond the Mississippi.

    “I’ll paint any car, any color, for $19.95.”

  65. 65.

    Betty Cracker

    Cripes, Greg Hardy was mouthing off to the fans in the end zone (who probably yelled some nasty shit at him), and now the announcers are raking him over the coals. Not that he doesn’t deserve it.

    @redshirt: I witnessed a terrible struggle once over the end of a raw cookie dough roll. I’m not sure anyone actually got any.

  66. 66.

    different-church-lady

    I hate you for the pic.

    Hate you hate you hate you.

    (Now you know how to trump me at any given moment)

    I don’t think Giants would be that big an upset. Yes, they’re 5-4, but they have (a) recent history (b) home field and (c) no Dion Lewis in their favor.

    But at least I have the comfort of knowing all your longshot pics have failed this year.

  67. 67.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    @Debbie: My LCSW wife frowns on self-diagnosis, but in Crazy Eddie’s case she’s willing to make an exception.

    @NotMax: Don’t remember. Before my time perhaps.

  69. 69.

    Betty Cracker

    Gyad, Dez Bryant needs to shut his cake hole. Two times he’s lobbied on the sideline for the ball on a crucial conversion, and twice he’s dropped it.

  71. 71.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    @NotMax:

    Any discussion of strange pitchmen must include Long Beach (CA)’s own Cal Worthington, who always had animals in his commercial, most famously featuring a Bengal tiger he referred to as “my dog Spot.” One gets the feeling that he would have preferred to be Marlon Perkins, but fate stuck him with a car dealership instead.

  72. 72.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    Also, anyone who gets the Empire Carpets commercial and wonders why their computer-animated pitchman is a dude with glasses who looks kind of like Hank Hill, that’s a caricature of the actual guy who did the commercials in the Chicagoland area long before they took the company nationwide.

  74. 74.

    NotMax

    @Mnemosyne

    Cal was a perennial fixture and almost in a class by himself.

    Say what you will about his technique, he moved a heckuva lot of cars.

  75. 75.

    RSA

    @Betty Cracker: At one of my past workplaces, you could buy microwave popcorn from a vending machine and pop it up for a snack. My coworkers would commonly offer their bag around for sharing. Except if one guy was around, because he’d ostentatiously pretend to lick all of his fingers before putting his hand in the bag. And it was hard to know whether he was joking…

  78. 78.

    Corner Stone

    There is no bullshit to be had here. Dez Bryant totally sold out Cassell on that throw. He absolutely fucked him over.

  79. 79.

    Corner Stone

    @Betty Cracker:

    and twice he’s dropped it.

    Blatant, bad, no excuse drops on both.
    This team has quit for the season and should all just shut their pieholes. Jerry Jones is an ongoing Trump-esque joke on football nation.

  80. 80.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    @NotMax:

    He and the infamous Rev. Gene Scott were fixtures on late-night TV for us night owls. It was tough not to be mesmerized by some of Scott’s antics. Frat boys especially liked the footage of busty women riding horses with the good reverend. Plus he was way more interested in translating and dissecting Bible verses directly from the Greek than in denouncing homosexuality or abortion.

  83. 83.

    Germy

    Used to watch the Galloping Gourmet in the 1970s, when he was hyper and witty and sipping wine through his show. At the end of the show, he’d grab some lady from the audience so she could enjoy his creation.

    Then he was in a car accident, stopped drinking, and the next time I saw him on TV he was so subdued, it was like a light had gone out inside him.

  84. 84.

    WereBear

    Our UHF station out of Central Florida featured Art Grindle. “I want to sell you a car!” But he would jump up and down on them first.

  94. 94.

    sloan

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): Ha ha ha! When I was a kid we lived up in the northern interior of British Columbia.

    We got cable TV in the 80s and some of the U.S. network affiliates would run those commercials. My parents are from L.A. and Cal Worthington was so damn old we both have childhood memories of his ridiculous commercials…from a used car salesman in California. Even though we grew up thousands of miles apart in different countries!

  102. 102.

    Schlemazel

    few things make me happier than a Packer loss. The fact that it was to the dog-butt Lions just makes it hilarious.

    We had a 70 degree day here on the tundra so we shampooed the carpets and moved all the furniture. I’m beat.

  104. 104.

    Howard Beale IV

    First Rhonda Rousey lost, then the Lions win at Lambeau. It’s the tribulation, I tell ya.

  105. 105.

    Corner Stone

    Ooof!!
    A “little bit late” ? No, Peyton was way obviously late, again.

    INT for KC!
    I thought Emmanuel Sanders was a scratch today?

  108. 108.

    Corner Stone

    @Howard Beale IV:

    First Rhonda Rousey lost

    I didn’t watch the fight live but as I explained to my son, she (Rousey) got beat by better footwork. Holm fed Rousey a diet of straight lefts, stayed outside of Judo range and Rousey had no answer for it. All the clips I have seen it looks like Rousey was confused when she got hit.

  109. 109.

    wmd

    We’re due for a site redesign issues thread.

    DONTATE via PayPal!

    Contrast on the buttons on comments is non-existent in Firefox on a Mac until you hover on the button – there’s an blue outline but the letters are white on white with a homeopathic amount of grey. Seriously it’s like the background color is FDFDFD with FFFFFF letters.

  110. 110.

    Heliopause

    Peyton’s done. Stick a fork in him. I realize they won’t do it, but they’d be better off sticking just about anybody else in there and playing ultra-conservative “game management” style. They’ll get to the playoffs on the strength of their defense anyway.

  111. 111.

    goblue72

    Giants playing feisty. Chandler Jones just added another sack to his resume and forced a fumble. Hopefully Brady can make something of the opportunity and pad the lead.

  112. 112.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Just because I’m a spiteful old man

    Don Van Natta Jr. ‏@ DVNJr 1h1 hour ago
    “He’s part of our mojo.” – Jerry Jones on Chris Christie, 1/6/15. Since, Cowboys are 2-8; Christie is polling at <2%

  115. 115.

    max

    @Corner Stone: Hey, now. We still have a shot at winning this division. Plus, maybe look ahead game for the Bengals? Maybe? Maybe lookahead, hmmmm?

    Nah.

    Got that Steelers-Browns game wrong, but on the other hands, called the Bucs and Washington for the win. (Who can make sense of Washington? Not moi.)

    max
    [‘Go raiders.’]

  116. 116.

    Corner Stone

    @efgoldman: Jerry Jones is the owner of one of the world’s most valuable sports franchises. So he clearly knows something about this at a certain level. Like Trump, he is possibly more self-aware than the other owner-clowns.
    Possibly.

  118. 118.

    Corner Stone

    @efgoldman: There are 31 other franchises just in the NFL that are not as valuable. I am sure you like to argue against anything I say, much like my 11 year old, but just like most of the time when discussing the line of argument with him, there is no basis to work with.

  119. 119.

    hitchhiker

    All I can say is I’m glad my mom (may she rest in peace) didn’t have to witness that Packer loss. To the most hapless team in the league. At Lambeau Field.

  122. 122.

    Tenar Darell

    @Corner Stone: @Betty Cracker:LOL. Wasn’t thinking of the “manners” issue. Essentially yes, it is a total dick move to get a pizza that is probably too spicy for everyone else. I would never do this, but it is a good reason, for some people. (I mean c’mon, that’s what red pepper flakes are for! I may even enjoy putting those on pepperoni pizza, but I take my slice first).

  125. 125.

    Corner Stone

    @Heliopause: The funny thing is that if Peyton is done after this season then Kubiak will be in the same position as the Broncos were post Elway. IOW, in the shit. He had better make the best of this season that he can because it’s his only foreseeable shot for success. Pulling Peyton when down 3 TD’s with over a full quarter left is hilarious, at least IMO.

  128. 128.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    CBS just switched me over from the Denver snoozer to Patriots-Giants. Thank the Lord! I wouldn’t mind seeing the Giants beat the Patriots.

  135. 135.

    redshirt

    This was just like all the other Pats Giants games. Who really controlled the game? Each team did, at different times.

    Each team had chances to win, then blew them.

    Huge plays helped both sides.

    Turnovers and QB pressure is key.

    I hope the Pats don’t see the Giants in the Superbowl again this year.

  136. 136.

    goblue72

    Special teams. The Pats not-so-secret weapon all these winning seasons. Between Vinatieri and Gostkowski, Patriots have fielded the best kicker (or near best) every season for the last 15+ years.

  137. 137.

    Steeplejack

    Damn it! Missed the end of the game because my brother Skyped in from Pucón, Chile, to let me know he’s still alive. Dude, you’re only two days in, and you haven’t started riding yet! (He picks up his motorcycle tomorrow and has a shakedown ride, then the real ridin’ starts on Tuesday.)

    And, worse, here on the home front he has a 1950s cable box with no DVR, so I couldn’t rewind and catch the end of the game. I did see the recap a bit later, but still. By the way, New York deserved to lose after not being able to get a touchdown with first and goal in the waning minutes. One of the announcers even predicted that if they had to settle for a field goal it would leave enough time for Brady to get his kicker into position.

  138. 138.

    Steeplejack

    Is this Cardinals-Seahawks game supposed to be any good? Asking for a friend who is too lazy to look it up.

  139. 139.

    different-church-lady

    Peyton Manning, interceptions thrown in today’s game: 4
    Tom Brady, interceptions thrown all season: 3

  141. 141.

    Steeplejack

    Damn, the “moment of silence” for Paris at the stadium was about five seconds. And then the crowd cheered. WTF? “America, fuck yeah!”

  145. 145.

    Steeplejack

    @efgoldman:

    Nothing has diminished Peyton’s gutsiness, or cojones. He just physically can’t do the job at the highest level any more.

  149. 149.

    SFAW

    @Steeplejack:

    He just physically can’t do the job at the highest level any more.

    What bullshit. Are you trying to tell us that, just because he can’t feel his fingertips (etc.), he’s got physical maladies? If he were tougher, he’d just tell his spine to “Cut the shit!” — as John McCain was going to do with who-the-hell-can-remember — and he’d be good to go. But, no, Peyton would rather whine and pule and look for the sympathy vote. Goddamn commie is what he is, I tells ya.

  150. 150.

    SFAW

    And can someone mansplain to me why Beckham’s TD catch was ruled incomplete? As best as I can tell, both of his feet his the ground before Butler semi-stripped the ball from him, but it was before he took an additional step that he lost the grip. Is it now three times that his feet have to touch ground? Or that he has to take a step after the first two points of contact?

    I was pretty sure that Foot 2 hit the ground while he still had control, but apparently I don’t know the finer points of the rules. (Amazingly enough, I’m being serious.)

  151. 151.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    Give it a rest. There’s clearly something wrong (physically) with Peyton.

    Ryan Fitzpatrick had a better game than Peyton – hell, even Geno Smith probably would have. For that to have happened, you know that Peyton is probably not even 50 percent. (And, for what it’s worth, I don’t particularly like Peyton.)

  153. 153.

    Betty Cracker

    Peyton should have hung up his cleats awhile back — he’s taking a terrible risk to play with the types of injuries he has. But it seems to be hard for a truly great player (and Peyton Manning is one of the greats) to let go, even when it’s obvious to everyone else that it’s the right thing to do.

    You Brady jock-sniffers who are dancing on Manning’s grave will probably get to watch your idol experience a similar downward trajectory someday, maybe sooner than you think. He doesn’t seem like the type to ride off into the sunset at the top of his game, Barry Sanders-like, either. And that will be sad as well.

    @different-church-lady:

    tyree 2

    You’re welcome.

  156. 156.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    Also, Tom Terrific will turn translucent then melt into a sunbeam when he wins his 7th Superbowl.

    What is that, a Jefferson Starship reference? (Before they became just “Starship.”)

    Brady getting a seventh ring is certainly more likely than Mark Sanchez or Geno Smith or JaWalrus or Ryan Leaf getting a seventh, but that’s about it. No, no, I’m sure I’m wrong, because Brady – all-by-hisself, practically — certainly kicked the collective butt today of the previously-undefeated Giants, considered among the strongest teams of the last decade, more or less.

    Did I say “strongest”? No, that’s not it, what was the word I’m thinking of? I’m sure it’ll come to me.

  158. 158.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    Brady is the Bill Russell of football. Peyton is the Wilt Chamberlain.

    All sane, educated adults know which player comes out on top in those two comparisons.

    If you doubt this, track down Peyton some day and ask him how many of those records he would have traded for a few more rings. At the end you can be damn well sure Brady knows he had the better career, and Peyton knows Tom did, too.

  159. 159.

    different-church-lady

    @SFAW: Everyone seems to be confusing the rules regarding an in-bounds catch with the rule regarding what a catch is in the first place.

    You need to get both feet in-bounds in order for the catch to count, but it still has to be a catch in the first place. The play does not end the moment both feet touch the ground. The receiver must still maintain control “through the process”. It’s two different concepts that are being conflated.

    Add to that the fact that the ball was coming out when the second foot hit the ground and it’s not that hard to comprehend. And the referee explained it quite well on mic to the entire stadium, so I’m not sure why everyone is so confused by it.

  161. 161.

    different-church-lady

    I, for one, don’t think Peyton is necessarily done. A little trash talk is fun, but it’s perfectly possible he pulls himself together and has a last run in the spotlight.

    It is, however, fun to watch him get treated like Brady was in Week 4 of last year — you know, the week when rumors of his career’s death were greatly exaggerated.

    Peyton is one of the greatest QBs to ever play the game, but believe it or not it is possible to be both that and overrated at the same time.

  162. 162.

    different-church-lady

    @SFAW:

    Brady getting a seventh ring is certainly more likely than Mark Sanchez or Geno Smith or JaWalrus or Ryan Leaf getting a seventh first…

  163. 163.

    SFAW

    @different-church-lady:

    Thanks for the explanation. However, I disagree with your assessment regarding the “state” of the ball when his second foot hit. I thought I was watching pretty closely, and it was not until after the second touch-down that Butler’s hit had any effect on whether Beckham had control. By the third step, he was starting to lose it, but not the second.

  164. 164.

    SFAW

    @different-church-lady:

    Brady getting a seventh ring is certainly more likely than Mark Sanchez or Geno Smith or JaWalrus or Ryan Leaf getting a seventh first…

    Agree, sort of.

    It’s still possible for Sanchez or Geno to be on a team that gets a ring. Of course, they don’t have much time. Unless something drastically changes vis-a-vis performance, Sanchez will be gone in three years, Geno in five.

    Based on yesterday’s performance by the Pats, and the tight one against the Jets, I think Brady would consider himself lucky to get to the SB this year. Maybe things will improve after Gronk and Blount get off the DL (or IR, or whatever), but I wouldn’t bet more than a PBR or Rolling Rank on it.

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