Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Second rate reporter says what?

Infrastructure week. at last.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

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Reader Interactions

170Comments

  3. 3.

    tybee

    bernie showed up in savannah last night. me and one of the islets went.
    bernie may have a convert (sorry Baud).

  4. 4.

    Patricia Kayden

    Looking forward to the new Star Wars movie although I probably won’t see it on its first week out. It has already made $50 million.

  6. 6.

    Steeplejack

    I’m halfway through my house- and dog-sitting tour in Las Vegas—day 12—and feeling mildly disappointed at how little I’ve done, e.g., I’ve been out to dinner just twice. Partly that’s because I’ve been felled by a cold that came on very slowly and exploded in the last few days. I’ve already reached the point where my nose is sore from so much blowing/wiping. Runny nose, scratchy throat, fatigue, and the really big irritant today is watering eyes. Makes it hard to pass the time reading Balloon Juice and surfing the Web. Yesterday it was mega-sneezing.

    The dogs—a greyhound and an aging whippet—are good company, although they are still trying to pull the substitute-teacher scam on me: “We’re supposed to get three—no, four!—meals a day, but it was written down wrong in the instructions.” And every time I make a move that could even be remotely construed as involving the kitchen I get mobbed.

    ETA: And, of course, I can’t even remember the last time I had a cold.

  7. 7.

    Heliopause

    At the risk of offending some diehards, let me just say this. I went grocery shopping at a Fred Meyer a few days ago. There is not an aisle in the damned store that doesn’t have Star Wars branded products in it. You can’t swing a dead cat in there and not strike an image of Darth Vader or a Stormtrooper. I’m afraid to take a piss in a public restroom for fear that Yoda will be staring at me from the urinal cake. And it’s been accelerating for months and months and months and the goddamned film hasn’t even been released yet. I now have less than zero desire to see it. I never want to see any of the old ones ever again either. In my dictatorship all existing prints of the movies or spinoffs will be confiscated and destroyed. If I catch you with an old VHS of The Empire Strikes Back you’d better hire Jared’s lawyer, not that it will do you any good.

    Way to go George Lucas and JJ Abrams and Disney. Mission accomplished.

  16. 16.

    schrodinger's cat

    Speaking of movies:
    As far away from Star Wars as possible but no less of a fantasy, I review the latest song from Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s upcoming movie Bajirao Mastani, featuring Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone. In short, its a hot mess. And lovely as PC and DP are, they have nothing on goddess Madhuri.
    Look out for her at 2.50 in the song in the last link. I has a girl crush.

  18. 18.

    shell

    @Steeplejack: Feel better. Keep waiting for the shoe to drop on me. Like yourself, I can’t remember my last cold. , and everyone I know seems to be coming down with one.

  20. 20.

    Fair Economist

    @MattF: If done badly, a Jar-Jar retcon might end up being the most unintentionally hilarious moment in the history of film. It would be truly legendary, more so than “I am your Father”. They really do have Jar-Jar in the film, though, and there’s apparently *some* form of retconning going on. Andy Serkis, the famous motion actor who originally did him, originally refused to repeat his role because he thought the character was so horrible, but relented on seeing the script and was quite positive on the new role. Admittedly large piles of cash could have played a role in that too.

  21. 21.

    goblue72

    @Amir Khalid: I saw that quote in Wired. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lucas – knowing how much the fans hated Star Wars & how big his ego is – that he said that just to get a rise out of folks.

    Also read that Lucas had some story outlines already worked up for the sequels when Disney bought the franchise. Disney pretty much tossed the ideas in the trash and told him that they were “going to go in a different direction.”

    That really must have left a mark.

  23. 23.

    Germy

    MSNBC reported that former House Benghazi Select Committee investigator Brad Podliska, is suing the committee for defamation after allegedly facing retaliation for claiming the committee was “hyper-focus[ed]” on Hillary Clinton.

    Podliska was fired in late June after working for almost ten months as an investigator for the committee partly for, according to Select Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy (R-SC), mishandling classified information. On October 11, during an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper on State of the Union, Podliska called the committee’s investigation “partisan” and claimed the focus shifted almost exclusively to Clinton after it was reported that she utilized a private email server while serving as Secretary of State.

    http://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2015/11/23/msnbc-right-wing-medias-benghazi-select-committ/207036

  24. 24.

    schrodinger's cat

    Truth be told I am not the greatest fan of the Star Trek reboot by JJ. Passable movies, but the Trek spirit is missing. It has become just another Hollywood franchise, all spectacle and no heart.

  25. 25.

    Peale

    Went to see the final Hunger Games this weekend. I guess for what it is worth, the series was better overall than Vampire/Werewolf Love Triangle series or Girl Doesn’t Know Her Place story or Boy Is Tricked into Destroying Insects movie or We Admire Ki Hong Lee’s Amazing Hair more than the Characters saga. But still, I’m amazed at how little point there was to the whole affair. Katniss never develops into anything interesting and then there were zombies.

  27. 27.

    Bobby Thomson

    Lucas gave Disney ideas for the latest movie, all of which were shut down, so he took his ball and went home. I understand his ex-wife edited IV through VI after which they separated.

    The prequels didn’t have any creative ideas, ripping off Gladiator (I) and Bladerunner/Fifth Element (II) before concluding in a preposterous mess.

    The family soap opera was the weakest part of the story and that’s what Lucas wanted to focus on. We dodged a bullet.

  28. 28.

    Fair Economist

    @goblue72: Dunno. There’s a long history in comics of cheesy material being rescued by inspired retcons, like with Miracleman and the 80’s Swamp Thing. If they can do it with the prequel trilogy, more power to them.

  30. 30.

    Face

    There are dark rumors of a retcon involving Jar-Jar Binks which might redeem the prequel trilogy

    Can I get this in English? What’s a retcon, and what does it mean to “redeem the prequel?”

    TIA

  31. 31.

    Bill

    I am so looking forward to the weeping and wailing of nerds the day after the new Star Wars movie comes out.

    “Duuuuuude, it’s no Empire! Lucas sold us out to the Mouse maaaaaaan. The movie is loaded with CGI, which sucks when compared to muppets. And the film totally fails to respect the full canon. I mean, Boba Fet’s helmet has always had a fleck of red on the back left side. This new movie eliminates that. If you can’t pay attention to details, how can we take you seriously?”

  32. 32.

    goblue72

    @Peale: Kinda what I expected. The first movie was pretty decent. The next one, worse than the first. The third one, even worse.

    As a stand-alone 21st century “girl power” reboot of The Running Man, it made sense. But why would you want to turn The Running Man into a trilogy?

  33. 33.

    Cacti

    Yeah, can’t say I’m exactly on the edge of my seat for R2-soccer ball, 73 year old Han Solo, and the Darth Vader knock off/new baddie.

  34. 34.

    Tenar Darell

    @Steeplejack: I have many bad cold based, omg my nose is so chapped tips. My go to one is, get Puffs Plus with lotion. (Seriously they’re the only tissues that allow me to survive a cold without a radioactive nose by the end). If the chapping is really bad around your nose, “plain” Chapstick (no menthol!) or even Vaseline can soothe the chapping, but frequent re-application is required. Steam & neutral saline nasal spray can help dried out mucous membranes. Can’t help you with the mega-sneezes, just don’t try to drive too much, because it’s impossible to keep your eyes open and on the road. (And yes, I know this because I’ve had some close calls from sneezing during spring hay fever season).

    I hope you have plenty of chicken soup, & that you’re feeling better soonest.

  40. 40.

    jl

    I don’t get the ’30 years’ and the ‘shut up’ joke. But I have been so sloppy in following the Star Wars train wrequels I’m totally lost at this point (‘Lost in Space’ har har…)

    Didn’t watch them in order, watched some years after they came out. I guess I thought I should see them sooner or later.

    So, not sure what ‘retcon’ means, but if it means I have to keep track of all the rubbish after the first three to understand what is going on, I’m out. But, I might buy a cool Star Wars toy if it’s cheap, or if I get a free one at McD’s or something, I might not even throw it out.I am broad minded and tolerant.

  41. 41.

    Tenar Darell

    @TaMara (BHF): @beltane: I think I must have even less tolerance for this kind of branding. I was done when I saw the R2D2 & Chewie Coffemates. I even tweeted a picture asking if I was “get off my lawn” or “Jump the shark” about it because Really?

  43. 43.

    Fair Economist

    @schrodinger’s cat: I really liked the first Star Trek reboot on first viewing but on seeing it a second time I turned against it for the empty spectacle and loss of the “spirit” of Trek, just as you say, plus the extent of deus ex machina, which was WAY over the top even for space opera.

    Star Trek was an optimistic series that said the world could be better, and actually depicted a world which really *was* better in some ways which were relatively controversial at the time. The rebooted plotline would allow for some very Star Trek-approaches to the problem of endangered cultures and responding to terrorism, using the Vulcans as the analogue, but the movies don’t do it.

    The movies are amazingly blase about the destruction of, essentially, the founding world of the Federation. Yeah, Spock gets worked up in the first movie but even he’s largely moved on by the second. In truth something like that would become the defining focus of Federation culture and history for thousands of years. EVERYTHING would be about preventing another Vulcan, what had been lost, how to save what’s left, etc.

    I’m hoping the new TV series, with more time, can revive the spirit of Star Trek and look at a decent world trying to address 9/11 to the infinity and what to do about an admirable but profoundly endangered culture. Yes, I can be unrealistically optimistic sometimes. I’m sure you all can disabuse me.

  44. 44.

    goblue72

    @Fair Economist: Even leaving aside that the idea is nothing more than a neckbeard dork’s wet dream inspired by eating too many late night Hot Pockets, its still stupid.

    Abrams may be many things – including the child of parents both in the TV industry in L.A. – but a complete incompetent is not one of them. He’s not making a CGI, cartoon jigaboo into the central villain of his film. Doubly so, when given that this is the STAR WARS franchise, he is SO not screwing this up. He’s gonna play it safe. Right down to an easily memorizable safety word, easy access to a panic room and an extra condom. (The flip side of this, though, is we are probably going to get a completely acceptable, generically entertaining holiday popcorn flick layered with just the right amount of nostalgia that is perfectly pedestrian but not particularly memorable in the long view.)

    And let’s be clear here – Jar Jar Binks was NOT just some annoying character. He was a jigaboo. Maybe Lucas had so long disappeared up his ever-widening ass that he was so completely blind to the fact that the old black and white adventure serials of his youth involved some horrifying racial caricatures.

    Jar Jar is a dancing, prancing, comic effect jigaboo. In a movie that included Fu Manchu aliens (those Trade Federation guys) and a flying Shylock Jew (that alien dude who owned Anakin and his mom).

    How exactly a guy married to an African-American woman managed to pull that all off is beyond me. But it is what it is.

  46. 46.

    jl

    I saw one that was completely incomprehensible. Then read a review that asserted that the political economy of intergalactic tax regime harmonization and regulatory arbitrage was critical to understanding the plot. So, I figured that either the reviewer was nuts, or something had gone off the rails with the Star Wars movies.

    And, since the movie was more boring than reading a textbook on those subjects, as an economist, I had to wonder why bother. More fun to let myself get dragged to Fast and Furious flicks by my friends who are into that thing. The beery post movie breakdowns are more fun.

  47. 47.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Tenar Darell:

    I’ve been using Mentholatum on my nose—preferred by Crackro-Americans for generations. And this last “cube” of Kleenex I opened seems to have some soothing additive in it. Really does help.

  49. 49.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @goblue72:
    Lucas is a godawful bad writer. It would not surprise me in the slightest if Jar-Jar was his favorite character, and my best hope for the sequel trilogy is that Disney refused his ideas. My second best hope is that the only things they declared canon other than the movies was the awesome Tartakovsky stuff. I think an attempt to redeem Jar-Jar as a character will be hard to pull off, though. Usually attempts to retcon bad writing into acceptable writing lead to grotesque messes. The comic industry, alas, is full of examples.

    @Face:
    ‘Retcon’, literally ‘retroactive continuity’, means going back and changing the background information of a fictional work. Usually it means that a new version of some franchise will remove an element from an old version, or explain it in a way that was obviously not intended the first time. In this case, Jar-Jar Binks was Lucas’s bumbling weirdo comic relief character in the prequel series. He was an ugly design, annoying in personality, out of place, and immersion-disrupting. Of all the dumb ways Lucas screwed up the prequels, Jar-Jar is by far the most obvious and disliked. There are rumors going around that Disney is going to try to change Jar-Jar’s concept in some way that will make him not a horrible. These rumors are often compared to an internet theory that Jar-Jar’s stupidity would make sense if he were a Sith plant. That theory, alas, leaves out the obvious: Lucas is just a shitty writer.

    EDIT – @goblue72:
    Oh, my goat. I never saw it. You’re right, he’s a ‘dumb black sidekick’ stereotype. That is exactly what he is, down to the being successful by being stupid parts. That’s repellent.

    EDIT EDIT – The more I think about it, the more horribly obvious it is. I can’t believe I missed it. Even his speech patterns. You could have him call everyone ‘Massa’ and it would fit in perfectly. Oh. My. Goat.

  51. 51.

    gvg

    Yes, I no longer use anything other than puffs plus lotion on the chance that a cold will get really bad, it helps if you were using the good ones all along. They are helpful even though your nose is already raw. Be careful not to get the ones with Vicks as those are too strong in menthol. the symbols look too much alike when you are in a hurry because you feel terrible and want to get back home.
    Just in case allergies are making it worse, use allergy covers on the pillows and if possible the bed too (under the sheets). Use real sudafed, not the substitute. chicken soup helps if you breath the steam. My sister found fruit flavored popsicles were too acidic when her throat really hurt and used coffee and mocha flavored weight watcher popsicles. We haven’t found any other brand that does that flavor. I don’t care for coffee so I would use chocolate myself. I have also not had a problem with banana flavor. If its bad enough you may want a steam humidifier. Put it up on a chair so the steam goes right over your face when you sleep and cover the chair seat with something waterproof first.

  53. 53.

    Fair Economist

    @jl: “Retcon”, short for retroactive continuity, refers to drastic changes in the existing history of an established storyline. The clever ones change little about what actually happened, but mostly focus on re-interpreting things that actually could be seen different ways. A popular recent example is Wicked, where the Wicked Witch of the West is actually a basically decent person and the Wizard of Oz is actually the villain.

  54. 54.

    jl

    @Frankensteinbeck: If Jar Jar Binks isn’t going to be comical, I guess that means Disney isn’t turning him into Goofy?

    Too bad Warner Brothers isn’t taking over the franchise. I might go see ‘Barf Vapid of the 24th and a Half Century!’

  55. 55.

    FlipYrWhig

    @jl: They’re basically about trumping up a state of emergency through which a politician can make emergency powers permanent. At the political level it’s basically republic-to-empire with shout-outs to Rome, Weimar-to-Nazis, and America in the Bush years. The original movies didn’t really have a Big Political Theme. Lucas got sucked into attempting one.

  57. 57.

    goblue72

    @jl: The “Galactic Senate” scene in the first prequel involving some sort of parliament Question Time in Space was just amongst many WTF moments. NASCAR Race in Space was probably another one. Oh, and The Force Is Microscopic Space Cockroaches was another.

  58. 58.

    FlipYrWhig

    @goblue72: Nascar in space was a long and labored homage to Ben Hur. Lucas is into all that Hero’s Journey stuff so he’s doing a mash-up of Biblical culture-heroes on top of everything else (samurai/shaolin monks, rise of Hitler), etc.

  59. 59.

    Matt McIrvin

    @goblue72: A while back somebody leaked what seemed to be a transcript of the brainstorming bull session that led to Raiders of the Lost Ark, with Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan.

    It’s a hilarious, embarrassing and occasionally startling read. But I understood all of the weird racist stereotypes in The Phantom Menace at that point. He thinks they’re cute. Those guys all clearly had a deep and abiding love of all the cringeworthy exoticist stuff in old adventure serials, and they were just itching to put as much of it as possible in their neo-pulp adventure movie. Ooh, shifty traders in the casbah! Bloodthirsty cannibal natives! Mysteries of the mystic Orient!

    (Not apropos of Star Wars, the funniest thing about the transcript, as the article says, is actually the way Spielberg keeps tossing out the dumbest ideas in the world, and Lucas keeps politely shooting them down, until Spielberg suddenly blurts out the whole scene with the rolling boulder.)

  61. 61.

    redshirt

    @FlipYrWhig:

    They’re basically about trumping up a state of emergency through which a politician can make emergency powers permanent. At the political level it’s basically republic-to-empire with shout-outs to Rome, Weimar-to-Nazis, and America in the Bush years. The original movies didn’t really have a Big Political Theme. Lucas got sucked into attempting one.

    So this thread has convinced me that I am the biggest nerd here. I am really excited for the new movie. And I liked the prequels, for the most part.

    There’s obviously a ton of flaws that should have been easily correctable, but were not. That said, the overall story of the prequels is great and really provides a ton of nuance to the original trilogy.

    I’m excited to see how they continue the story. Despite the celebrations at the end of ROTJ (WEESA FREE!), it was obvious even back in 1983 that’s not the end of the story.

  63. 63.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    I can’t believe you scumbags are really talking about going to see this movie. You people are as bad as the terrorists, because you’re helping the terrorists. Don’t you even care? Don’t you care that you’re doing the terrorists’ work for them? Eric Erickson has told us that if we go on about our lives and refuse to let the terrorists cow us into hiding under our beds, then the terrorists win! Don’t you care? Doesn’t that bother you? What’s wrong with you people?

    God damn it. This is a struggle for our very survival, and if we just go on about our lives like we aren’t pissing ourselves with fear, then what does that say about us? It says, “We don’t care about the terrorists. The terrorists aren’t important to us. The terrorists are not going to dictate how we will live our lives.”

    What kind of people let the terrorists win that way? We need to show them we care about what they’re doing, that we take the threat seriously. We need to show them what real Americans do, viz., hiding in our closets or under the bed until the scary people stop threatening us. Going on about our lives sends exactly the wrong message to the terrorists. I cannot stress this enough. In fact, I am going to say it again: Going out to a movie sends exactly the wrong message to the terrorists!

    It’s time to show these terrorists just what we’re made of here. It’s time to step up and do what needs to be done. And I, at least, love my country enough to do my part. I am going to hide in my room, not go see any movies, and foul myself in abject fear until the scary people go away.

    This is how our country became great. This is how we showed the Japs and the nazis and the dirty, filthy commies how a great country fights. And now, I’m asking you all: Who’s with me? Let’s take the fight to them! (From under our beds…)

  64. 64.

    Germy

    a poem by the Syrian Kurdish poet Amir Darwish. A collection of Amir Darwish’s poetry can be found in the book Don’t Forget the Couscous:

    Sorry! An apology from Muslims (or those perceived to be Muslims) to humanity

    We are sorry

    for everything

    That we have caused humanity to suffer from.

    Sorry for Algebra and the letter X.

    Sorry for all the words we throw at you;

    Amber, candy, chemistry, cotton, giraffe, hazard,

    Jar, jasmine, jumper, lemon, lime, lilac,

    Oranges, sofa, scarlet, spinach,

    Talisman, tangerine, tariff, traffic, tulips,

    Mattress (yes mattress) and the massage you enjoy on it:

    We are sorry for all of these.

    Sorry that we replaced alcohol with coffee for Enlightenment philosophers.

    Speaking of hot drinks,

    We are sorry for the cappuccino the Turks brought over.

    Sorry for the black Arabian race horses,

    For the clock,

    Math,

    Parachutes.

    Abdul in the US is sorry for what so and so did;

    He does not know him but he is sorry anyway.

    Sorry that we accompanied Columbus on his journey to the States.

    And sorry for the Arab man with him

    Who was the first to touch the shore and shout ‘Honolulu’

    And named the place after him.

    Sorry for the architecture in Spain and the Al Hambra palace there.

    We apologize for churches in Seville

    With their stars of David at the top that we built with our hands.

    We say sorry for every number you use in your daily life from the 0 to the trillion.

    Even Adnan the Yezidi (mistaken for a Muslim)

    Is sorry for the actions of Abu whatever who beheads people in Syria.

    Sorry for the mercury chloride that heals wounds,

    Please give us some –

    Because the guilt of initiating all of the above

    Gives us a wound as big as this earth.

    Sorry for the guitar that was played by Moriscos in Spain

    To ease their pain when they were kicked out of their homes.

    Sorry for the hookah as you sip on its lips And gaze into the moon hearing the Arabian Nay.

    Sorry for cryptanalysis and the ability to analyze information systems,

    To think what is at the heart of the heart of the heart and bring it to the world.

    Sorry for painting Grenada white to evade social hierarchy. Sorry for the stories in The Arabian Nights.

    Every time we see a star, we remember to be sorry for

    Astronomy.

    We are sorry that Mo Farah claimed asylum here

    And went on to become the British champion of the world.

    Sorry for non-representational art,

    Pattern and surface decoration.

    We are sorry for all the food we brought over:

    From tuna to chicken tikka masala,

    Hummus,

    Falafel,

    Apricot,

    Doner kebab

    Right up to the shawarma roll.

    And don’t forget the couscous.

    If we forgot to apologize for something, never mind,

    We are sorry for it without even knowing it.

    Most of all we are sorry for Rumi’s love poems,

    And we desperately echo one of them to you:

    Oh Beloved, Take me.

    Liberate my soul.

    Fill me with your love and Release me from the two worlds.

    If I set my heart on anything but you

    Let fire burn me from inside.

    Oh Beloved,

    Take away what I want.

    Take away what I do.

    Take away what I need.

    Take away everything

    That takes me from you.

    Please forgive us.

    We are sorry and cannot be sorry enough today.

  66. 66.

    redshirt

    @Matt McIrvin: Is that the story where Lucas wants Marion to be like 14 years old and in a relationship with Indy? It is cringe worthy – you can still see remnants of this thread in the movie, where Marion says something to the effect that Indy knew how young she was.

  67. 67.

    Culture of Truth

    I hardly ever go to the movies anymore, but I might have to make an exception. It’s got the original Han Solo! and Princess Leia!

    Yeah I heard some rumor that Jar Jar could be redeemed by making him an arch-villain play-acting at being a stepin fetchit character. Considering the entire prequel series were themselves a form of retconning (hey Vader wasn’t such a bad guy after all) maybe instead of ret-conning the ret-con we just let it go and move on.

  70. 70.

    PurpleGirl

    @TaMara (BHF): I’ve been trying to get that link to load, even went to Google to find it and load and I can’t get it. Damn little loading round things just keeps going round and round. Argh.

  71. 71.

    Fair Economist

    @goblue72: Oh, Lucas had disappeared up his own ass when he wrote Jar-Jar 20 years ago. When Episode I came out LOTS of people (including me) noticed the racial stereotyping with Jar-Jar. Lucas was just completely clueless about it in interviews, even after it had been pointed out to him.

    I’m sympathetic because I love a good retcon. The best parts of life are like a good retcon, when you realized you didn’t understand something properly and can move to a deeper and better understanding. Seeing something obnoxious or stupid in something you basically like get retconned away is incredibly satisfying, and there’s intellectual admiration for the skill in carrying it out too.

    Jar-Jar as the ur-Sith probably is a step too far but maybe we’ll see something clever. I do think there’s been an effort to fix some of the problems in the Star Wars universe. For example, the trailer already passes the Bechdel test.

  72. 72.

    redshirt

    Lucas clearly responded to fan’s criticisms of Jar Jar in Attack of the Clones by making Jar Jar the Senator who initiates the vote for emergency powers for Palpatine. So it’s Jar Jar that essentially brings about the Empire (or is the tool to do so).

  75. 75.

    MomSense

    @Tenar Darell:

    Can’t help you with the mega-sneezes, just don’t try to drive too much, because it’s impossible to keep your eyes open and on the road. (And yes, I know this because I’ve had some close calls from sneezing during spring hay fever season).

    I almost drove off the road one time–at least 13 mega sneezes with no break in between them. I had to just stop the car abruptly or I would have crashed.

  76. 76.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Germy: Zero was popularized by Arabs and that’s how it reached Europe but the decimal system and zero, owes its existence to Indian mathematicians, namely Arya Bhatta.

    ETA: Shunya = Zero = most important number.
    Shunya = Void in Sanskrit.

  77. 77.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @Iowa Old Lady:
    @Betty Cracker:

    Technically, it probably aggravated my existing carpal tunnel issues, which have a nasty tendency to radiate up to that old injury site and send the muscle under my shoulder blade into spasm. I remembered that I have some Salonpas patches at work, so that’s helping.

    Repetitive stress injuries like CTS or tendonitis are pretty common, but in the realm of serious (though one-in-a-million) knitting injuries, I saw a story about a woman who tripped and got a knitting needle lodged in her chest. She wisely didn’t try to pull it out, because they discovered at the ER that it had actually pierced her heart and required surgery to fix it.

  79. 79.

    Seanly

    @Fair Economist:

    While it does make a good case, I think this is fans’ trying to redeem a terrible, poorly written character meant as draw for kids.

    It could be done, but as you mention, it would have to be a retcon. None of the other characters ever mention suspicions of Jar Jar. Are there any scenes where he betrays any anger or negative emotions? It’d be as terrible as most “Murder She Wrote” episodes where the big clue was something innocuous that the audience wouldn’t notice.

  80. 80.

    redshirt

    Jar Jar is an interesting character in that he is The Fool. Clearly. Both for viewers and the characters in the movie – consider that we meet a few other Gungans, and none of them act like or speak like Jar Jar. He’s been banished by his people for essentially being the clumsy Fool.

    Obi Wan insults Jar Jar several times in TPM, and Qui Gon is alternatively insulting and inclusive. So, everyone in the movie (except for Anakin) hates Jar Jar. And do all the fans. Is this intentional? Did Lucas want us to hate Jar Jar? It sorta seems like it.

  81. 81.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Culture of Truth: The rumor I heard was not about the sequel movies at all. It suggested that Jar Jar as the evil anti-Yoda secretly pulling the strings of the galaxy was Lucas’s original plan for the prequel trilogy, and that the reaction to Jar Jar in Phantom Menace was so negative that Lucas reduced his role in the rest of the series to fleeting cameos and hastily slotted in Christopher Lee’s Count Dooku as a replacement. Which is why Count Dooku first appears in the second movie and seems like such an underdeveloped, flat character.

    I doubt it bears any resemblance to the truth, but it’s at least a funny theory. Jar Jar at least gets briefly used as the chump who officially hands total control to Palpatine.

  84. 84.

    redshirt

    @MomSense: I pulled a muscle in my back during a series of mega sneezes this past summer. I was mortified, but after a bit of research I learned it’s not uncommon. Some baseball player was out for two weeks this past year due to a sneezing related muscle pull.

  85. 85.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Germy: Yeah, I’m not surprised that Spielberg was remembering that rather than making it up on the spur of the moment.

  86. 86.

    goblue72

    @Fair Economist: Like I said, no way Abrams is going to make a CGI cartoon the central villain in his movie. Its going to be a human being, played by a flesh and blood actor. Abrams is a TV guy – look at his Star Trek reboot – take away the lens flares and CGI spaceship scenes – and its all about the people – and in particular, the tensions in the relationship between reboot Kirk and reboot Spock.

    Personally, I think part of the reason his second Trek film felt a little flat is that he kept “Kahn” away from Kirk/Spock for too long – and frankly, away from much in the way of dialogue with anyone – until halfway through the movie or so.

  89. 89.

    Matt McIrvin

    @goblue72: The more popular rumor is that “Kylo Ren” is Luke Skywalker, but I suspect that’s not true either. (We know Kylo Ren is played by Adam Driver, but considering how many people played Darth Vader, that’s neither here nor there.)

    However, the trailers are probably intentionally cut to make people think it’s true.

  91. 91.

    Robert Sneddon

    @Fair Economist:

    There’s a long history in comics of cheesy material being rescued by inspired retcons, like with Miracleman and the 80’s Swamp Thing.

    I’d pay good money to see an Alan Moore take on Star Wars even though I’d probably be hiding under the seat with my eyes covered going “NOOOOO!” a lot.

  92. 92.

    Fair Economist

    @Matt McIrvin: There’s no way Lucas originally wrote Jar-Jar as a puppeteer and then downgraded him after the fan response. Having Jar-Jar reveal himself would have been exactly the way to stop the complaints about Jar-Jar. Jar-Jar as is probably is the biggest flaw in the original series. The weak writing and acting for Anakin are bad too, but they don’t make you want to run out of the theatre.

  93. 93.

    Matt McIrvin

    My all-time favorite revisionist take on Star Wars was a tiny fanfic-ish treatment I read once of an alternate version of Episode Three, which fixes the “what the heck is the deal with Count Dooku” problem by fleshing him out more, then having him kill Anakin Skywalker and take his place in the armor suit as Darth Vader.

  94. 94.

    PurpleGirl

    @TaMara (BHF): Thank you. I think I’ll skip the commercial and trying the look. I’ve always disliked how in fashion shows the models are made up in similar themes. Looks striking but not real.

  98. 98.

    PurpleGirl

    When I first saw Jar-Jar Binks I knew he was an offensive racial stereotype. Also felt that way about those little furry creatures in Episode 6. As a child I watched any number of deep darkest Africa and zombie movies (a staple of Zacherle show). I recognized them at once and disliked Lucas for using the ideas. They were cringe-worthy.

  99. 99.

    FlipYrWhig

    @redshirt: @Matt McIrvin: I feel like Jar Jar was just supposed to be Rasta Threepio. He bumbles and makes exasperating mistakes. But that doesn’t explain his part in the emergency powers debate, does it?

  104. 104.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @? Martin:
    That would be the Mad Hatter in the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland. I found it both uncomfortable and fascinating what an obvious peek into Tim Burton’s self-image and romantic fantasies it was. It becomes especially clear if you’ve ever seen Burton. On the plus side, pretty visuals, the Dormouse was awesome, and it was refreshing to have a heroine chosen for her beauty who actually was beautiful, rather than Hollywood’s plain-faced, big-busted, leather-skinned, fake blonde Generic Good Looking Woman.

  105. 105.

    PurpleGirl

    @schrodinger’s cat: That’s what their name was. Just couldn’t drag the name from memory. Thanks. I didn’t take the time to check the Google.

    Even as a child watching the zombie movies and hunter in Africa movies, I knew the characters were racist and bad. They helped make me the adult I am, not liking the way people are stereotyped. So using such characters in a contemporary movie grated on my sensibilities.

  109. 109.

    PurpleGirl

    @Manyakitty: When I was crocheting a panel for Water Tower Cozy, I used compression gloves on both hands to guard against injury. The 7-ft by 14-ft panel had close to 15,000 stitches, weighed several pounds and I kept it on my reclining chair and crocheted sitting in my office chair.

    Search Google for water tower cozy:

    (The Toronto ad agency this was made for did pay us an honorarium for the work.)

    ETA: deleted a link to the Google search I did because it didn’t format correctly.

  110. 110.

    JustRuss

    @Matt McIrvin:

    It suggested that Jar Jar as the evil anti-Yoda secretly pulling the strings of the galaxy

    He does remind me a bit of The Mule in the Foundation trilogy. Given Lucas’ penchant for borrowing from other works, it’s not entirely outrageous.

  113. 113.

    schrodinger's cat

    @PurpleGirl: I am more of a Trekkie than a Star Wars person. In my opinion the movies have far bigger problems than employing racist stereotypes. I find the entire saga pretty juvenile. YMMV.

    The only exception was the first movie, which was imaginative and I liked it.

  115. 115.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Robert Sneddon:

    I’d pay good money to see an Alan Moore take on Star Wars…

    Never going to happen. Moore hates the film industry for what it’s done to his work. The only reason he sells the film rights is so he can pay his graphic artists what the comics publishers won’t.

  116. 116.

    Immanentize

    @schrodinger’s cat: True, zero is the most important number (concept?) but one is the loneliest number…

    meanwhile, I am reading Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle and learned that “willy nilly” came from the English zero-based phrase: “Will he? Nill he?”

  118. 118.

    Matt McIrvin

    @schrodinger’s cat: I once read a paper trying to unravel the question of whether 1 was ever generally considered a prime number. One thing it pointed out was that until the 16th century, in Europe, 1 was not considered a number! You counted with it, yes, but 1 was “unity”, and numbers were necessarily plural.

    So only once 1 was considered a number could some mathematicians consider it a prime number.

  119. 119.

    PurpleGirl

    @schrodinger’s cat: I was a member of the original group holding Star Trek conventions in the 1970s… I was mainly a Star Trek fan too. Yes, the first Star Wars movie was the best and I still like it. The others, sequels and prequels both, haven’t hit me the same way.

  121. 121.

    Althea

    “the first new Star Wars movie in over thirty years” I haven’t lived a good enough life for that to be true

  122. 122.

    mai naem mobile

    I’m kind of the Teabagger of American Pop Culture. Have not seen any Star Wars movie, Star Trek movie, Fast and Furious,Rocky,Shrek, E.T., Friends episodes,Seinfeld episode,Zombie stuff and no Kardashian stuff.

  124. 124.

    Keith G

    @Heliopause:

    I’m afraid to take a piss in a public restroom for fear that Yoda will be staring at me from the urinal cake

    Pretend it’s Alan Greenspan and let loose.

  127. 127.

    redshirt

    @PurpleGirl:

    I was a member of the original group holding Star Trek conventions in the 1970s… I was mainly a Star Trek fan too. Yes, the first Star Wars movie was the best and I still like it. The others, sequels and prequels both, haven’t hit me the same way.

    When the original trilogy was re-released in the late 90’s I went to see A New Hope in a giant theater in midtown Manhattan (wish I could remember the name of the theater) and it was, to date, the best movie going experience I’ve ever had. The sold out crowd was totally into it, and just the innocent exuberance of the first movie, the simplicity of it, was over powering. Just a wonderful experience.

  129. 129.

    Myiq2xu

    Criminal malfeasance:

    Analysts at U.S. Central Command were pressured to ease off negative assessments about the Islamic State threat and were even told in an email to “cut it out,” Fox News has learned – as an investigation expands into whether intelligence reports were altered to present a more positive picture.

    Fox News is told by a source close to the CENTCOM analysts that the pressure on them included at least two emails saying they needed to “cut it out” and “toe the line.”

    Separately, a former Pentagon official told Fox News there apparently was an attempt to destroy the communications. The Pentagon official said the email warnings were “not well received” by the analysts.

    Those emails, among others, are now in the possession of the Pentagon inspector general. The IG’s probe is expanding into whether intelligence assessments were changed to give a more positive picture of the anti-ISIS campaign.

    The former Pentagon official said there were “multiple assessments” from military intelligence and the CIA regarding the “rapid rise” of ISIS in Iraq and North Africa in the year leading up to the group’s territory grab in 2014.

    Similar intelligence was included in the President’s Daily Brief, or PDB – the intelligence community’s most authoritative product — during the same time period. Yet the official, who was part of the White House discussions, said the administration kept “kicking the can down the road.” The official said there was no discussion of the military involvement needed to make a difference.

    The IG probe started earlier this year amid complaints that information was changed to make ISIS look more degraded than it really was.

    I know, I know – “But BUSH!”

  134. 134.

    Matt McIrvin

    @PurpleGirl: The Star Wars fanboys seem to have canonized the idea that The Empire Strikes Back is the best one.

    I actually think this is slightly wrong. The last third or so of Empire is the dramatic high point of the whole series, but the rest of the movie leading up to that has problems that, for me, knock it down a peg relative to the original. Some of the characters are a little off. C3PO is at his most irritating, and Han Solo in Empire just comes off as a creep in his scenes with Leia.

    It gets good when everyone starts converging on Cloud City.

    At the time, though, The Empire Strikes Back got mixed reviews, somewhat more negative than Star Wars. I think many viewers found the cliffhanger ending unsatisfying and the tone too dark and ambiguous.

    And the critics loved Return of the Jedi, go figure. It was my favorite when I saw them in the original run, then I decided it wasn’t so great when I saw the Special Edition releases in the 1990s. But my daughter likes it the best; she likes the Ewoks.

  135. 135.

    goblue72

    @PurpleGirl: What racial stereotype are Ewoks???? My understanding is that originally it was going to be the Wookies but then they wound up flying in spaceships too, so they needed to invent another furry alien, to be the stones spears-and-slingshots aliens to defeat the Big Bads. Part of Lucas extended and somewhat tortured metaphor of the Vietnam War in Space, with the Rebels and furry aliens playing the role of Viet Cong.

    Though frankly, I just assumed the truth was he needed to figure out a way to shoehorn some talking teddy bears into the movie in order to sell them as toys for the kids.

  137. 137.

    redshirt

    @goblue72: Yeah, the Ewoks are the Viet Cong and the Empire is the USA and the Rebellion is the metaphor for “true Americans”.

    It’s pretty radical for one of the biggest movies in history.

  139. 139.

    goblue72

    @Bobby Thomson: I remember all that too. And you are right – same type of folks screaming that people who criticize racism are the real racists type crap.

    Despite the fact that the movie included not only a rasta-stepin-fetchit-jigaboo, but evil Fu Manchu warlords AND a money-grubbing Shylock Jew with a permanent 5 o’clock shadow. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a sombrero wearing lazy Mexican hidden in some cantina scene as well.

  141. 141.

    Fair Economist

    @Matt McIrvin: I’d agree that Episode V is less good at the start and it’s only the last third that’s really good. But it is really good! A great ending excuses – almost – anything before it, and the earlier parts are just a little slow; not inexcusable.

    I remember at the time of the original trilogy most seemed to think Empire was the weakest, because of the ambiguity and downer ending. That included my friends and most of the critics. I feel vindicated that now Empire is held up as the best Star Wars, because that’s what I always thought.

  142. 142.

    PurpleGirl

    That year (or so) when Star Wars played at the Astor Plaza theater was amazing. Maybe the last time in my memory that a movie was at one place for so long. It became the thing to do — have a few hours between other plans, let’s go see Star Wars. That opening with the stars moving at you from the screen just hit you so in the face. I don’t know how many times I went to see it. When my Norwegian Pen Pal was visiting and before returning to Norway, we found Star Wars at a movie theater on the Upper East side and we went to see it. (He hadn’t managed to see through his months of traveling in the US, Canada and Central America.)

    Checking the Google, the Lowe’s Astor Plaza closed in 2004. They say it was the largest single screen in NYC. Which is a shame because some movies really should be seen on big screens.

  143. 143.

    NonyNony

    @Matt McIrvin: Empire Strike Back is the only movie in the franchise to involve the great Sci-Fi writer Leigh Brackett[*]. So it is objectively the best – naysayers be damned.

    *(Granted, she died right after submitting her first draft and Lucas and Larry Kasden rewrote nearly her entire script so most of what she did was changed. But her mark is all over Empire, and is possibly why it’s the darkest of the original three movies.)

  144. 144.

    Fair Economist

    @goblue72:

    Though frankly, I just assumed the truth was he needed to figure out a way to shoehorn some talking teddy bears into the movie in order to sell them as toys for the kids.

    This. I remember at the time claims that that actually *was* Lucas’ goal, although this was pre-internet when it was hard to verify sources.

  145. 145.

    Amir Khalid

    @NonyNony:
    It so happens there’s an Oscar-nominated screenwriter involved with the new Star Wars movies: Carrie Fisher. But they’re not using her at all as a writer, are they?

  146. 146.

    Immanentize

    @Mnemosyne (tablet): Hmmmm, pausing to think. still seems like nil is “not” or “naught” I will delve deeper into the OED when I get home. I LOVE looking at the OED for this type of thingy. Thanks!

  147. 147.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    @Amir Khalid:

    She does most of her work as a behind-the-scenes script doctor, so it’s possible she could have worked on the script without anyone knowing. She’s one of the people who’s brought in to punch up the dialogue or smooth out the existing story and doesn’t usually get involved in page 1 rewrites.

  148. 148.

    PurpleGirl

    @goblue72: I can’t think of a specific example right now but there were many movies made in the 1950s where a white hunter was in deepest, darkest Africa and besieged by tribesmen and “saved” by other tribesmen. The Ewoks just seemed to evoke those images for me. These were bad movies, mostly shown on TV.

  149. 149.

    Matt McIrvin

    @goblue72: They’re based on the primitive cannibal tribe, well-known from old adventure movies and cartoons, who likes to boil missionaries for dinner and can be induced to worship tricksy people as gods, because they have pretty white ladies and shiny beads and know when eclipses happen or something.

    Except, of course, since the Ewoks are not human, here they’re not technically cannibals.

  151. 151.

    goblue72

    @Matt McIrvin: Thanks. Makes sense. Though I remember as a kid seeing that scene and totally NOT taking it seriously that these teddy bears were going to eat everybody. Course, the idea that a bunch of teddy bears with rocks was going to defeat supersoldiers with rayguns was also inane. Then again, those supersoliders never seemed to be able to hit anyone.

    Because Teddy Bears.

  152. 152.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Frankensteinbeck: Wasn’t just Jar Jar, though – all the Gungans were odious Step ‘n Fetch it caricatures.

    I was 11 or 12 when STAR WARS (and it was STAR WARS goddammit, not Episode IV or a New Goddamned Hope) came out, and saw it in the theater like six or seven times (which, yes, makes me a lightweight). Empire too.

    And then…ewoks. In retrospect, I should not have been disappointed by TPM; it was simply a logical progression from the goddamned ewoks. But I chose to ignore the obvious signs that Lucas was losing it and went in with hope. Never again.

    As for Abrams…

    I can appreciate what he does; I just don’t particularly like it. Cloverfield should have been an awesome stomp flick, but felt somewhat cold and detached. The Star Trek reboot was fun in the theater, but lost its flavor almost immediately after the end credits started rolling, and the less said about Into Darkness the better.

    But, who knows, he may nail it with this one. He’s not Lucas, so by definition it can’t be that disappointing.

  154. 154.

    Randy P

    Any love for The Martian? Saw it this weekend, after reading the book last week. I loved all the casting (going into it, I was a little unsure about Matt Damon as the wise-ass nerd uber-engineer) but he did a great job.

    By far my favorite bit of casting and my favorite character in the movie was Rich Purnell, the orbit dynamics guy who figures out what eventually becomes the rescue mission, and who has no clue about human interaction. I know this guy! I’ve worked with dozens of this guy’s clones! Hell, I might be this guy!

    Deviations from the book were minor and not too disturbing, and mostly I understand the dramatic and time-saving reasons.

    I highly recommend both the book and the film. In either order, I think.

  157. 157.

    blackcain

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    Really? I liked the reboot. I thought it was quite good IMHO. I’m not sure what the heart is exactly. It could just be that it’s harder to fall in love with these newer characters who bring their own charm (or non-charm) to the genre.

  158. 158.

    CaseyL

    @TaMara (BHF): As usual, the Dark Side looks like a lot more fun. (And WTH do those colors have to do with SW? Are those the color palettes used in the cinematography?)

  159. 159.

    Randy P

    Any love for The Martian? Saw it this weekend, after reading the book last week. I loved all the casting (going into it, I was a little unsure about Matt Damon as the wise-ass nerd uber-engineer) but he did a great job.

    By far my favorite bit of casting and my favorite character in the movie was Rich Purnell (an actor named Donald Glover) the orbit dynamics guy who figures out what eventually becomes the rescue mission, and who has no clue about human interaction. I know this guy! I’ve worked with dozens of this guy’s clones! Hell, I might be this guy!

    Deviations from the book were minor and not too disturbing, and mostly I understand the dramatic and time-saving reasons.

    I highly recommend both the book and the film. In either order, I think.

  160. 160.

    Citizen_X

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    The Star Trek reboot was fun in the theater, but lost its flavor almost immediately after the end credits started rolling, and the less said about Into Darkness the better.

    Hey, at least Abrams reversed the Star Trek movie curse: now, it’s the even-numberred one that sucks! (And that might hold true through the third one: Simon Pegg is writing/directing.)

  161. 161.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @Randy P:

    I liked it, but after a while a weird casting thing got on my nerves — the male actors were pleasantly diverse, but there were no women of color on the American side. Including the character whose last name was Park, FFS. The only non-white women onscreen were the Chinese characters.

    (Apparently there was one (1) woman character named Ryoko, who was played by a half-Indian actress. That’s it.)

    Ridley fuckin’ Scott.

  163. 163.

    NotMax

    Code fail at #161. Fix.

    who likes to boil missionaries for dinner

    In fairness, not always.

    After all, sometimes they capture a friar.

    (*rimshot*)

  164. 164.

    Randy P

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yeah, what struck me was that the Hermes astronauts were weirdly non-diverse. Even the one German guy got Americanized. He was played by a Norwegian who sounded pure American.

    Also, one strong female character from the book (Mindy, the photo analyst) is reduced to near-zero in the movie, a puzzling choice as her interactions with her bosses are a lot of fun. Her most crucial moment, the discovery that Mark is alive, is apparently made by her boss. It wasn’t clear to me in the movie that she did anything than back up his theory.

    I’m always in favor of movies that get the science right, so that goes a long way with me. The one sacrifice of science is the Martian sandstorm that starts things going in the first place, but Weir had to make that sacrifice himself (he admits himself that a sandstorm wouldn’t be that destructive).

    Andy Weir is my new geek hero for many reasons and I’m having a great time watching YouTubes of talks he gives at various geek meccas, like JPL and Lawrence Livermore.

  165. 165.

    randy khan

    @PurpleGirl: I made a special trip to New York with my (not yet but soon to be) first serious girlfriend to see Star Wars at the Astor Plaza. The moment when you first heard the Star Destroyer onscreen is one of my most indelible movie memories – I specifically remember looking at the back of the theater to see what the noise was, and then when I looked back to the screen I realized what was going on. That was a fantastic place to see a movie.

    And a big, 40 years late thank you for your involvement in the original Star Trek conventions. I got to attend one of them when I was in high school.

  167. 167.

    NotMax

    @PurpleGirl

    We’ve probably met IRL, then, as attended the very first one.

    I was the guy in the blue velour shirt with the science insignia sewn on.    ;)

    (In actuality, my friend and I both wore home-crafted Trek shirts (gold and blue, respectively) only so we could join the costume parade on the teeny-tiny stage, point a homemade tricorder in the direction of the judges and announce, “No signs of intelligent life.”)

  168. 168.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @Randy P:

    Again — Ridley fuckin’ Scott. I know what to expect from him, but having a blonde white chick playing a character named Mindy Park just annoyed me and took me out of the movie. Really, there’s not a single Korean-American actress in all of Los Angeles who could have been cast?

    IIRC, Weir said he tried to think of everything that could go wrong short of the life support conking out, because he knew that was the one thing the character would not be able to overcome.

  169. 169.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Germy:
    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Couple of hours later, Germy, and I’m still reeling from this. Found the online site for selections from Don’t Forget the Couscous and put up a link, along with a strong recommendation, on my Facebook page.

    I’m extremely grateful to you for introducing me to this wonderful poet. Amir Darwish is going to have a prized place on my poetry shelf before long. Thank you so much.

  170. 170.

    Momus

    @Heliopause: Well, I have “A New Hope”, “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Return Of The Jedi” in VHS, so what’s Jared’s lawyer’s number?

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