• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

Republicans in disarray!

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Domestic Politics / Laying My Cards on the Table

Laying My Cards on the Table

by Betty Cracker|  December 3, 20157:14 pm| 118 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Gun nuts, Assholes, General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

gun_nut_signal_light

Steven Hayward at the wingnut PowerLine blog indulges in a silly hypothetical:

GUNS: TIME TO CALL THE LIBERAL BLUFF?

Here’s an idea: let’s call the left’s bluff on the Second Amendment. The left is wedded to the notion that there is no individual right to own guns because of the clause the 2nd Amendment that mentions “a well-regulated militia.”

[snip]

The “militia” at the time of the Constitution was generally regarded as every able-bodied adult male. Since we cannot have police or even private security at every location where a terrorist or mentally ill person might turn up, how about we start a program encouraging Americans to sign up in large numbers to be state militia members, involving a short course in gun safety and threat assessment. Then instead of having signs at schools and malls and elsewhere declaring a “Gun Free Zone,” we’d have signs saying “This facility protected by state militia members.”

Call my bluff? I wish a motherfucker would, Steven!

But here’s the thing: It’s a “well-regulated” militia, so forget that namby-pamby bullshit about “encouraging Americans to sign up.” Nope, we’re going to follow an originalist interpretation of the US Constitution.

As you mentioned, when the Constitution was written, militias comprised “every able-bodied adult male.” So every able-bodied adult male who owns a gun is required to sign up for our modern state militia.

And forget that “short course in gun safety and threat assessment” crap, Steven. That’s a recipe for disaster, considering the firearms accident rate among our armed patriots, many of whom apparently can’t clean a gun without shooting their own dick off. (Google it! Happens all the time!)

Nope, if you want to post armed gomers at the Starbucks where my kid hangs out, they will damn well be highly trained in gun safety and threat assessment, and they’ll undergo a rather comprehensive psychological assessment too. They will be as well-regulated on that score as an FBI agent.

An initial six-week course followed by an annual two-week refresher ought to be sufficient. Anyway, that’s MY well-regulated militia. Ready to sign up, ammosexuals? Didn’t think so.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Thread: 80s Nostalgia Is the Absolute Worst
Next Post: I know Betty Covered This Earlier, But… »

Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    Danack

    December 3, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    “An initial six-week course followed by an annual two-week refresher ought to be sufficient.”

    Also needs one weekend a month.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    Ahem

    I support mandatory militia membership for all gun owners with eight weeks of boot camp each year.

    It’s my Well-Regulated Militia Program

    Baud! 2016!

  3. 3.

    Peale

    December 3, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    What bluff?

  4. 4.

    redshirt

    December 3, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Spot inspections too to ensure guns are well maintained and kept securely.

  5. 5.

    Tom Levenson

    December 3, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    And their weapons must pass regular inspection; and they are entitled to buy ammunition only for the weapons their well-regulated militia companies have registered; and they have strict liability for any damages arising from the use (or misuse) of their weapons.

    Let’s rock, folks.

  6. 6.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 3, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    @Danack: Yup, Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm.

  7. 7.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    We already have a national guard. Why don’t they just sign up right now?

  8. 8.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 3, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Gun nuts are happy to discard the First Amendment in favor of the Second. That’s what an armed society is a polite society means — they WANT a country where people are afraid to speak up because someone might shoot them. That’s their ideal world.

  9. 9.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    And since they’re such fans of the Swiss notion of everyone having a gun, they’ll surly go along with the idea of keeping all the ammo at the armory.

  10. 10.

    Duke of Clay

    December 3, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    I’ve thought about this idea as well. There should be physical fitness requirements. I would suggest that militiamen should be required to maintain a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9.

  11. 11.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 3, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Mandatory insurance. And chain-of-custody laws with some fucking teeth in them.

  12. 12.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    @Mike J:

    they’ll surly go along with

    On the nose typo and edit doesn’t work for me.

  13. 13.

    mainmata

    December 3, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    Right on Betty. The right-wing gun nuts (and they are all right wing in their politics) have no understanding of “well-regulated” because they are against all regulations (except abortion) for anything not just guns. Any well-regulated civil militia would also need to have well-trained and well-supervised members and ones that had full liability insurance. Of course, even that wouldn’t actually work in reality.

  14. 14.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    And also, as a militia, they could be called up at times of national emergency, wearing proper uniform, following orders without insubordination, to be in suitably good physical shape (got to be able to run at least a good few miles carrying personal equipment, etc, so lose the belly dough boy).

    And if there was a war, in, say Iran or Syria, then obviously they’d be consideration about whether militias should be deployed to active front line duty.

  15. 15.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    @mainmata:

    because they are against all regulations (except abortion) for anything not just guns

    Mosques? Birth control? Walking while black? I can think of thousands of things they love to regulate.

  16. 16.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    The original/first Federal mandate was put in place by President Washington. It required that every male, of militia age, had to maintain a set amount of powder, wadding, and ammunition. That they must turn out at regular, set times (usually once a month) and present both their arms and their ammunition kit for inspection.

    Of course we now know that Federal mandates are unconstitutional socialism.

  17. 17.

    goblue72

    December 3, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    @Mike J: About to say the same thing. They get to keep their ammo at the town armory.

    And they don’t just have to go through regular training. If they want to deploy themselves at the neighborhood Starbucks, they will do so only under regimental colors under the command of a military / national guard officer. Their deployments will also be under the control and direction of their colonial town council or board of alderman.

    Ten-HUT! Fall in.

  18. 18.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 3, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    @Mike J:

    They only want regulations on things that don’t affect them personally.

  19. 19.

    mb

    December 3, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    According to the Constitution, Barack Obama is the commander-in-chief of the militia.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    December 3, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Only so long as they are issued muskets…

  21. 21.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 3, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    @Ecks:

    As I understand it, that was the original purpose — the Founders were worried that a standing army would be too “British,” so they envisioned defending the country with only militiamen. The folly of that was shown in the War of 1812, but they kept the 2nd Amendment anyway.

    I’m not sure if our 2nd Amendment really was designed to help put down slave rebellions as some people say, but it sounds awfully similar to the laws they had in places like St. Croix where every able-bodied man over 16 was required to keep a gun and report to the main fort for duty if a slave rebellion started.

  22. 22.

    trnc

    December 3, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Can’t decide which I like better, the mandatory registration and training or liability insurance requirements. But, hell, no reason it has to be either/or.

    Sadly, gun love means never having to say you’re responsible.

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    You talked me into it.

  24. 24.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): A lot of the slave state militias served slave catcher duties.

  25. 25.

    Tim in SF

    December 3, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    Daniel Kaufman, murdered in yesterday’s San Bernardino massacre. Met him once or twice. A friend of a large number of my friends.
    Thanks, NRA members.
    https://www.facebook.com/redtimmy/posts/10153823963257704

  26. 26.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: If you’ve got militia, makes sense to call it up for any and every kid of collective threat (invasion, slave revolt, brown people walking around freely like they own the place, lieberals saying uppity stuff, & such)

  27. 27.

    Faction

    December 3, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Subject to random drug tests, of course.

  28. 28.

    Lit3Bolt

    December 3, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Can we not just call the ammosexuals out as liberals?

    Liberal on terrorism.
    Liberal on crime.
    Liberal on child safety.

    Teachers of Terrorism. Coddlers of criminals. Seriously, they seem to want to put a gun in everyone’s hand, and that seems to include scary brown muslims and blackity-black-black gangstas. They can’t point out the fact that Baltimore and Chicago have high crime without being confronted that their lax and liberal gun policies help those said criminals. They can’t complain about Syrian refugees or scary Mexican rapists if straw buyers are driving loads of weapons around to sell to your local serial killers.

    I don’t get why the Right isn’t continually hammered on this issue.

  29. 29.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    @Ecks:

    Efficiency!

  30. 30.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 3, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Right, but what’s not clear to me is whether or not the 2nd Amendment was specifically designed for that purpose. Some people claim it was purpose-built for that because it does have some of the features of the militia laws, but I’m not really sure that’s enough to actually prove it.

  31. 31.

    ThresherK

    December 3, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): Weren’t England’s soldiers in the colonies often forcibly quartered in colonists’ homes? That’s the kind of thing I thought soured our FF on the idea of a big standing army.

  32. 32.

    PurpleGirl

    December 3, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    @Duke of Clay: Yes. No beer bellies hanging over their belts. They can’t look like they swallowed a medicine ball or are pregnant.

  33. 33.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): I’m not sure. I’ve read several histories of its development, but I don’t think that was covered. My understanding is that the slave holding states tended to use the militia for law enforcement purposes, basically the local watch. So one of their duties would’ve been rounding up any escaped slaves.

  34. 34.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Don’t forget killing Indians.

  35. 35.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    @Baud: man, have we ever been falling down on THAT front too. Outsourced it to glue and alcohol. What happened to that city on a hill?

  36. 36.

    goblue72

    December 3, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    Saturday Night Live, 1975. Show Us Your Guns

    Sadly, the liberal satire of that short video clip would be met with howls of outrage by the gun nuts and Fox News these days.

  37. 37.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    @Baud: I have it pencilled in for the 3rd night of Hanuka, does that work for everyone?
    //Sarc tags!!!!//
    Sarcasm alert – I am not serious!!!! I am not looking to kill anyone!!!

  38. 38.

    dave

    December 3, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    so you’re suggesting that this state militia have, actually, more training than the police? sounds good. Most US police can’t shoot straight as it is.

  39. 39.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): @Adam L Silverman: Militias existed in the colonies long before the Revolutionary War. In New England, they were used primarily for skirmishing with the French and various native nations. It would not surprise me if they were used in part for catching escape slaves in the colonies where slavery was significant. The idea that the Second Amendment was specifically designed to aid slave catching seems ahistorical. If someone has some contemporaneous documentation supporting that theory, I would be interested in seeing it. It sure didn’t make it into the Federalist Papers.

  40. 40.

    Hungry Joe

    December 3, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    Breaking: Blankenship found guilty on only one count, the least of the three — a misdemeanor with a maximum penalty of one year in prison. He was facing up to 30. His attorneys say they’ll appeal. “Run coal,” as always, trumps miners’ safety.

    Would it be appropriate to say, “Fuck you, Blankenship”?
    It would be inappropriate not to.

  41. 41.

    JMG

    December 3, 2015 at 8:01 pm

    The motives of the Founding Fathers, being complex, are also obscure, Like all pols through all history, they didn’t write down a lot of what they really thought. In New England, the militia tradition was pronounced and indeed supplied quick response to the Civil War. I don’t know about the South, but obviously a large group of armed men to supervise slaves was a necessity long before the Revolution.

  42. 42.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    igorvolskyVerified account @igorvolsky
    Sen @TomCottonAR received $2,581,794 in expenditures from NRA, so he voted against today’s background check measure

    @SenatorRounds received $82,040 in expenditures from NRA, so he voted against today’s background check measure

    @SenPatRoberts received $322,453+ in expenditures from NRA, so he voted against today’s background check measure

    Sen. @robportman received $596,489 in expenditures from NRA, so he voted against today’s background check measure

    .@sendavidperdue received $279,173 in expenditures from NRA so he voted against today’s background check measure

    Etc, etc. Read igor’s twitter stream for many, ,many more.

  43. 43.

    JPL

    December 3, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    @Tim in SF: Chris Hayes just read off the entire list. This is the first time that I moved from sadness to anger so quickly. The NY Daily News cover was right.

  44. 44.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    December 3, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    @Hungry Joe:

    Would it be appropriate to say, “Fuck you, Blankenship”?
    It would be inappropriate not to.

    Indeed. Shoulda been more, but it was a win to get a conviction at all. And as a matter of rights (and what is right) we don’t want a system like South Africa’s. Though in that specific instance I don’t mind the result for Pistorius – but the process is unacceptable.

  45. 45.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Not even Omnes?

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    It’s on my mind because I just started re-reading the Chernow bio of Hamilton, and just finished the part where he talks about the militia duties in St. Croix that Hamilton would have been required to fulfill. Slavery was pretty horrific in the American South, but it was even more nightmarish in the Caribbean. The estimates Chernow has said that something like 2/3rds of the slaves brought to the Caribbean died within 5 years due to the conditions they were forced to live and work in.

  47. 47.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    @Mike J: He’s been killing it (figuratively).

  48. 48.

    Suzanne

    December 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Also: frequent mental health checks, physical fitness standards, education standards, etc etc etc.

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    @Baud: I am not an Indian.

  50. 50.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Wait, don’t we want them to pass?

  51. 51.

    Cacti

    December 3, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    I’d be perfectly fine with compulsory militia service a la Switzerland, and not having a large professional military that we’re forever running up in everyone else’s business.

  52. 52.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    “I’m you.”

  53. 53.

    JPL

    December 3, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Since it’s been another week with a mass shooting, can we have an open thread to discuss football or The Wiz.

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    @Baud: Then who am I?

  55. 55.

    jo6pac

    December 3, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    As you mentioned, when the Constitution was written, militias comprised “every able-bodied adult male.” So every able-bodied adult male who owns a gun is required to sign up for our modern state militia.

    This was a good thing yrs ago but state reserves and guard units have been taken over by the feds. The feds now pay the budget for state units. This just a little change in the wording of that worthless doc of Amerikas founding. Sad:(

  56. 56.

    jl

    December 3, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    I’m in. I had to shoot long guns on the farm, and i done took courses as a kid, Fine with me. Improve my trap shooting while I’m at it.

  57. 57.

    smintheus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): The militias of that era almost certainly needed widespread membership widely distributed in order to be able to quash the kinds of local rebellions that had sprung up repeatedly during the 1780s, mostly tax rebellions. Also, many areas were subject to Indian attacks and they could not rely on far-flung armed forces to arrive in time to save frontier settlements. All of that is in addition to the natural desire not to give the federal government a standing army, which it could if it wished station in politically recalcitrant states.

  58. 58.

    Suzanne

    December 3, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    @Baud: Um….I don’t really want a militia full of lazy, stupid people.

  59. 59.

    JMG

    December 3, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): While of course not as severe, it was a graveyard (yellow fever!) for the whites there as well. British soldiers and sailors dreaded assignment to the West Indies.

  60. 60.

    smintheus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    @jl: I think this would require local militias to be armed with muzzle-loaders.

  61. 61.

    Baud

    December 3, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I thought you were doing a Christine O’Donnell thing.

  62. 62.

    a different chris

    December 3, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    How about you can only get a FFL or concealed carry license if you have admitting privileges at a local hospital.

  63. 63.

    Gvg

    December 3, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    And let’s talk about those deemed not qualified by reason of lousy safety obedience, incompetence, aggression towards people obeying the law etc. it follows they CAN’T keep guns. Ready to face that consequence gun worshippers? You aren’t as special as you think.
    It seems to me many 2nd amendment worshippers really want their hobby to be more special than anyone else’s. Collecting yourself is one thing. Expecting everyone else to see you as special is where I get really tired of the ones I know personally. No you haven’t defended our freedom with your private collection. sigh.

  64. 64.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    @Baud: @Omnes Omnibus: I’ve got no problems with Omnes. I am happy to save him a latke!

  65. 65.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    @Baud: No, I was just noting that I am exempt from the Silverman joke threat. I am not sure if I am more or less safe as result.

  66. 66.

    smintheus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    @ThresherK: Yes; hence the Third Amendment.

  67. 67.

    Cacti

    December 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    @Gvg:

    And let’s talk about those deemed not qualified by reason of lousy safety obedience, incompetence, aggression towards people obeying the law etc. it follows they CAN’T keep guns. Ready to face that consequence gun worshippers? You aren’t as special as you think.

    It seems to me many 2nd amendment worshippers really want their hobby to be more special than anyone else’s. Collecting yourself is one thing. Expecting everyone else to see you as special is where I get really tired of the ones I know personally. No you haven’t defended our freedom with your private collection. sigh.

    Along those lines, I would also fully favor passing annual marksmanship assessments as a condition of keeping your militia service weapons.

  68. 68.

    Jay Noble

    December 3, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Funny how, that little skirmish in the 1860’s gets glossed over on the issue of militia’s. Militia’s were eliminated after that and replaced/absorbed by the National Guard. Slavery was very much an issue the addition of the 2nd Amendment. No slaves, no need for militia’s as they had been formed.

    As for people’s rights as individuals to keep arms, it seems the Founders left that up to the states, several of which wrote it into their State Constitutions. As I’ve said time and again, the framers of the Constitution were masters of the English language. They said what they meant, and obscured when they wanted to fudge things.

  69. 69.

    LWA

    December 3, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    I’m not a veteran, but from what I hear, the regulations for carrying, storing, cleaning, and using firearms and ammunition on military bases are fucking strict, beyond what any wingnut would ever consider.

    What the commies at the DoD consider “well regulated” is probably something the guys at Powerline never anticipated.

  70. 70.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I do martial arts to vent any unchanneled agression, so no worries here!

  71. 71.

    mtiffany

    December 3, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    “…encouraging Americans to sign up in large numbers to be state militia members, involving a short course in gun safety and threat assessment.”

    A short fucking course in gun safety and threat assessment? That’s it, right there, isn’t it? Every problem has a fast solution that ANYONE can learn in an afternoon’s training with a self-certified instructor.

    I’m not a fan of the idea that we should place the police on a pedestal or show them deference at every turn — but for fuck’s sake, notwithstanding the murderous thugs in their ranks — they are professionals. They have to at least graduate high school and then make it through a training academy.

    Real ‘gun safety’ is not something you learn in a ‘short course,’ and I dare say the same thing about ‘threat assessment.’

  72. 72.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    @mtiffany: I think you may be a bit too focused on the trees…

  73. 73.

    hellslittlestangel

    December 3, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Also, to be admitted to this well-regulate militia, one would have to pass a rigorous physical examination. Out of shape? No guns for you!

  74. 74.

    divF

    December 3, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    I think that the idea that “the Constitution is not a suicide pact”, dating back to Jefferson and Lincoln, is particularly germane to discussion of the Second Amendment. I hope to live to see the day that SCOTUS acts on that insight.

  75. 75.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    @Suzanne: ah, but that’s why you need the proper regulation – to keep the lazy and stupid in check. I mean, armies are in the business of giving extremely lethal weapons to 19 year olds and sending them out into dangerous and chaotic environments with the specific brief of killing people. Good military regulation is custom designed to contain the lazy and stupid.

    Frequently it enforces its own particular brands of stupid too (as soldiers will be quick to tell you), but that’s a whole other issue, for the most part.

  76. 76.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 3, 2015 at 8:29 pm

    @Baud: Omnes is not a witch.

  77. 77.

    scav

    December 3, 2015 at 8:29 pm

    O, i will so emjoy watching the monthly fitness trials for continued militia membership. No lawnchair brigade of brave border defenders distributed in parks along the vulnerable Missouri state line, cupholders at the ready in their cammo Rambo jammies, but beefcake aspirants wobbling about the track — can we possibly give them pop-quizzes in realistic situations, springing out at them with paintballs when they’re watching football games at camp that weekend and scoring them on their reflexes?

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 3, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: How do you know?

  79. 79.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: how do you know that without a pair of scales and a duck?

  80. 80.

    danielx

    December 3, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    Late to the fair, as usual, but…

    Dear Steven Hayward:

    We already have state militias; they’re called the National Guard, fucknut.

    Recruiting stations are open until 4:30 tomorrow, and I imagine with all the “boots on the ground” talk going right now they’ll greet you with open arms. Probably a little short on JAG positions for over the hill attorney bloggers but ne’er mind, always plenty of openings in the poor bloody infantry.

  81. 81.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 3, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    @Ecks:

    how do you know that without a pair of scales and a duck?

    Would one of Betty’s chickens do?

  82. 82.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    @Baud: Always makes me think of this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqQJB8DR_Zo

  83. 83.

    Teddy's Person

    December 3, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Long-time lurker here throwing my two cents into the discussion about the militia in the 18th century. Part of my dissertation examined the relationship between the militia and early notions of citizenship (defined more broadly than simply a legal status). Many of the Founders were (little r) republicans concerned with creating a virtuous citizenry that would put the interest of the common good above their own self-interest. [I know the reality was often very different than the rhetoric.] They saw the militia members as citizen-soldiers (i.e., landowners who had a stake in the new nation and would defend it), and serving in the militia was seen as a duty of citizenship. The Militia Act of 1792 was kind of a compromise between those who wanted a permanent standing army and those who saw a standing army as dangerous since king had just used the army against the colonists. The Act gave the federal government some authority over the state and local militias, specifically the president could call up state militias. Locally, the militia had economic, political and social functions. The militia musters were often the time to pay ones’ taxes, take care of legal business at the courthouse, or engage in trade. Socially, militia leaders were the community elite, and the muster was a time to show off their status and demonstrate largess to the community. Sometimes, the local militia operated as the community police force, which included catching runaway slaves. The local militia was a long-standing tradition in the colonies, and the Founders tweaked the system to serve a new republic.

  84. 84.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    @Teddy’s Person: Post more often!

  85. 85.

    Suzanne

    December 3, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    @Ecks: Armies give deadly weapons to uneducated poor young people, usually dudes, because they consider them the most expendable.

  86. 86.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: do they float?

  87. 87.

    danielx

    December 3, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    @dave:

    Some are all too good. From various descriptions it sounds like Jason Van Dyke, pride of the Chicago Police Department, hit Laquan McDonald with every shot from a sixteen round magazine, which is not all that easy to do past spitball range. Even with a motionless on the ground target…

  88. 88.

    JustRuss

    December 3, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    The “militia” at the time of the Constitution was generally regarded as every able-bodied adult male.

    Well, not quiet every able bodied adult male, I believe the black ones were largely excluded. Presumably we’d continue that tradition.

  89. 89.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 3, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    @Ecks: I’m not sure, Betty says they’re il-tempered and messy.

  90. 90.

    Mike J

    December 3, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    @Teddy’s Person: Since when did we start allowing people who know what they’re talking about to comment?

    Or in other words, what Adam said.

  91. 91.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    @Suzanne: that’s also true. Expendable to go off and die in service of (is it really) their country, but not expendable in the “had to shoot them because they were running around the local community pool doing dumbass things with our fully automatic explosive launchers.” sense. Kids are famous for doing dangerous stupid stuff, and kids with deadly hardware wouldn’t be any exception to that unless you work very hold to build and enforce a culture that keeps them just about in-line.

  92. 92.

    cbb

    December 3, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    A helpful exercise for the reader is Paul Fussell’s “A Well-Regulated Militia”, an essay in which Fussell, an Army Infantry officer during the Second World War who later wrote about his experiences and taught English at several universities, identified precisely the ideas several have written above: ownership of a gun should require immediate enrollment in the Militia of the United States, with monthly drills under the watchful eye of experienced Drill Instructors, with all the duties of bivouacing (building latrines, stringing barbed wire, eating MREs) and physical training central to the experience.

  93. 93.

    patrick II

    December 3, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Slavery also existed well before the civil war, and so did slave patrols.

    A couple of links to articles about slavery, slave patrols, and militia and the second amendment.

    Slavery and the Second Amendment Slave Patrol Militias

    The Second Amendment was Ratified to Preserve Slavery

  94. 94.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: I think perhaps you are missing the reference, maybe. Or you’re just goofing on it in, at least a 6 or 7 dimensional chess way.

  95. 95.

    Teddy's Person

    December 3, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: and @ Mike J Thanks!

    A good book on the subject of both the Second Amendment and gun control is A Well-Regulated Militia: The Founding Fathers and the Origins of Gun Control in America by Saul Cornell

  96. 96.

    The Republic of Stupity

    December 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    @Mike J: I like what Chris Rock said about that…

    $5,000 might be a bit much for a bullet, but $50 or $100 for a bullet would be a good start…

  97. 97.

    Roger Moore

    December 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):

    They only want regulations on things that don’t affect them personally.

    More pointedly, they want to control others but be free of others’ control.

  98. 98.

    The Republic of Stupity

    December 3, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Somewhere earlier today, I read something about the so-called ‘knee-jerk reaction for gun control’ liberals are supposed to suffer every time we have ANOTHER mass shooting in this country…

    Frankly, I’d rather suffer from THAT than the uncontrolled jerking reaction so many ammosexuals seem to experience whenever anything to do w/ their beloved guns comes up, period.

    Just saying’…

  99. 99.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    @Roger Moore: freedom for me, responsibility for thee.

  100. 100.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 3, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    @Teddy’s Person: Its now on my list. I have to finish getting through the book on Putin, and the book on the first American serial killer, and the book on Thurgood Marshall’s case dealing with a different serial killer, and the book on Jim Crow, and several comic books! But thanks.

    And post more often.

  101. 101.

    Ecks

    December 3, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: cosigning Adam’s thought, Teddy. Post more often.

  102. 102.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 3, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    @ThresherK: Actually, the notion is that a standing army kind of makes it easy/inevitable that a nation will get involved in budget busting wars of aggression, kind of a production for use notion.

    They were on to something, but their solution was a failure.

  103. 103.

    amk

    December 3, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    I posted this thread in their blog. Let’s see what happens.

  104. 104.

    Ajabu

    December 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):
    Queen Mary would like a word with you about St. Croix back in the day.
    Does “Fireburn” ring a bell?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1878_St._Croix_Labor_Riots

  105. 105.

    J R in WV

    December 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    @Mike J:

    Bought and paid for!! Bald-faced bribery in my mind.

    And Fuck You, Don Blankenship, you murdering bastard!!

    Thanks Hungry Joe for saying it first, It would be wrong not to say it!

  106. 106.

    burnspbesq

    December 3, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    And the historical context matters, as well: the Second Amendment was drafted at a time when standing armies were unknown. The “well-regulated militia” was the army. Nowadays, we have standing armies.

  107. 107.

    J R in WV

    December 3, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    @Ecks:

    Teddy, I agree, keep up the commentary. We need well educated comments and good Democrats!!

  108. 108.

    Ajabu

    December 3, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    @JMG:
    And if the Brits had STAYED the hell out, we (Caribbean descendants of the original “some stopped on the way” crowd) in the West Indies would had life a hell of a lot easier.
    I’ve noticed, though, that our native accents – in most all the islands that were once British – are really close to the sound of Irish English. I believe the Brits used them (the Irish – who were their underclass) as overseers during slavery.
    Just an observation…

  109. 109.

    jl

    December 3, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    @smintheus: Oh, OK. I don’t think the fambly had them thar any guns a’ that old. I guess I’ll learn something new.

  110. 110.

    RedeyeRobot

    December 3, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    @Danack: 6 weeks? cops don’t get 6 weeks, military don’t get 6 weeks yes the accidental death rate is so high for guns it doesn’t make the CDCs top 20 preventable deaths (its about 600 a year)

  111. 111.

    dlw32

    December 4, 2015 at 9:29 am

    Well-regulated means more than that. It means the men are properly trained and equipped. They respond to their officers and their officers are bound by civilian governments (state or local). It’s not you and your buddies with a case each of ammo and beer.

  112. 112.

    Bo Alawine

    December 4, 2015 at 9:39 am

    This may have been covered already by someone in the comments, but one (the main?) reason for that Second Amendment was to mollify the Southern slave-owning states that they could still keep a force-of-arms to put down slave rebellions.

    http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1465114

  113. 113.

    phein

    December 4, 2015 at 9:40 am

    @Danack:

    Let’s see, 40 years ago Basic Training and Infantry AIT took me from the beginning of August through Thanksgiving, or about 16 weeks. I sure as hell wouldn’t have trusted me or my fellow graduates in public with firearms after that, so add another 3 weeks for a specialized training (that’s the length of Jump School), and that gives us just shy of 5 months.

    5 months to start, and annual refresher training. At Ft. Benning. In the summer.

    Sounds about right.

  114. 114.

    Paul in KY

    December 4, 2015 at 10:25 am

    I would pay money to see some of these ‘guns solve all problems’ jerks go through some good ole 18th century military discipline.

  115. 115.

    Paul in KY

    December 4, 2015 at 10:34 am

    @ThresherK: I think the founders definitely felt a standing army was a recipe for ambitious politicians to use to advance themselves. Also expensive to maintain.

  116. 116.

    Paul in KY

    December 4, 2015 at 10:38 am

    @Ecks: Maintaining strict military discipline is paramount in a combat area. Many times (IMO) this was not done in Iraq/Afghanistan.

    May have actually been premeditated by some.

  117. 117.

    Paul in KY

    December 4, 2015 at 10:39 am

    @Teddy’s Person: Thanks for your comment.

  118. 118.

    Paul in KY

    December 4, 2015 at 10:43 am

    @burnspbesq: Oh, I can’t believe you wrote that, unless it was tongue-in-cheek. The founders knew all about standing armies. Great Britain had one, so did France. Those 2 standing armies had been fighting for 30 years prior to the revolution. Sweden & Russia also had them.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - frosty - 2020 Coronavirus Road Trip – Part 8: Birds 4
Image by frosty (6/22/25)

Recent Comments

  • Captain C on Open Thread: Musical Readership Capture (Jun 22, 2025 @ 2:25pm)
  • Jay on The Horrors (Open Thread) (Jun 22, 2025 @ 2:22pm)
  • CaseyL on So I Guess We’re At War With Iran, Now (Jun 22, 2025 @ 2:22pm)
  • dnfree on So I Guess We’re At War With Iran, Now (Jun 22, 2025 @ 2:22pm)
  • JaySinWa on So I Guess We’re At War With Iran, Now (Jun 22, 2025 @ 2:21pm)

Personality Crisis Podcast (Cole, DougJ, mistermix)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!