Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

I’m just a talker, trying to find a channel!

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

RIP Zandar. We are still here fighting the stupid, now in your honor.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

When we show up, we win.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Accountability, motherfuckers.

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91Comments

  2. 2.

    SFAW

    If only both could suffer a humiliating defeat!

    As Olsen Johnson would say: Now who can argue with THAT?

    But since that is unlikely to happen, how about this as a fallback: Ethnic Slurs win, but Snyder gets severely concussed during the postgame celebration? It may not be a Win-Win-Win scenario, but 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.

    ETA: Even better would be Zombie Tom Landry beating Snyder (more) senseless with his ossified game hat. (Not that I ever liked Landry, but I’m trying to think outside the coffin box here.)

  4. 4.

    Wileybud

    Look at the bright side – you can cheer any injuries, no matter upon which side it’s inflicted!

  5. 5.

    khead

    SOMEone was out there betting on the Cowboys today. Line dropped from 3.5 to 1.5 before kickoff.

  11. 11.

    redshirt

    The Ethnic Slurs are surprisingly decent in the crappy NFC East. Heck, if they didn’t have all the drama they might actually be good. Snyder won’t allow that, though.

  12. 12.

    scav

    @SFAW: Exactly. Except I’m hoping it’s Zeus that plays target practice with the ball. Thor as backup, then Shango, or maybe the other way round.

  15. 15.

    trollhattan

    @redshirt:
    There’s that Ali feller who deserves consideration.

    I give it up for Kareem’s post-sports life, as he’s really blossomed as an advocate, thinker, writer, etc.

  20. 20.

    different-church-lady

    I’m disappointed you’re not gloating more about the Pats’ stepping on a rake yesterday.

  21. 21.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    There is this guy that floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee who would disagree with your assessment & I have to agree with him.

    EDIT: and once I again I am reminded I should read all comments before posting. WHat all those other guys said!

  23. 23.

    Davebo

    @redshirt:

    Kareem is the best professional basketball player of all time.

    That’s a bit of an overstatement. Though I would say he’s in my top two of best NBA centers of all time.

  27. 27.

    JMG

    @Davebo: I don’t think Kareem is the greatest of all time. But he is in the group where differences on the topic are a matter of opinion and not evidence.

  29. 29.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    Kareem is the best Milwaukee Bucks player of all time.

    It’s not clear that Kareem is even the best Laker of all time – that might be Magic. I imagine if you define your terms tightly enough, you could get it to come out to be Kareem, however.

  30. 30.

    Davebo

    @JMG:

    He’s the greatest center of all time. Of that I have no doubt.

    But yeah, Ali is the greatest muslim athlete of all time.

  32. 32.

    JMG

    Best Laker of all time is a pretty hard one to answer, just like best Celtic. But Kareem was the one Chick Hearn revered most, and that has to count for something.

  34. 34.

    SFAW

    @JMG:

    But Kareem was the one Chick Hearn revered most, and that has to count for something.

    It does – that and two bucks will get you on the LA subway.

  35. 35.

    cmorenc

    @Betty Cracker:

    Horrid Cowboys vs. detestable Ethnic Slurs of DC. If only both could suffer a humiliating defeat!

    …which raises an interesting question: IS there any plausible (even if unlikely) scenario under NFL rules which could result in *both* opponents in a football game losing the game? I would think it would require some kind of severe rules violation by each team, the specified penalty for which is forfeiture of the game. Is there any potential scenario where that could happen?

  36. 36.

    The Thin Black Duke

    @Davebo: Mr. Russell would also like a word with you. (Plus, Russell and Michael Jordan were golfing buddies, and Bill was the only guy who could talk trash to His Airness and get away with it “Six rings? Only six, Mike?”)

  37. 37.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Although I loved Russell, and couldn’t stand Wilt, I’m not sure Bill was better. Certainly a better leader (both on and off the court), but as a straight-up player? A little tougher to call. (No, I’m not arguing for Wilt.)

  38. 38.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Now you’re just trolling.

    You say that as if it’s a bad thing.

    Actually, it was for your benefit, thought you might appreciate a little levity.

  40. 40.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Russell was a better defensive player, but he also had better teams around him.

    ETA: No, I’m not forgetting the Lakers with Baylor and West, although that team played the Russell Celts for only one season..

  41. 41.

    The Thin Black Duke

    @efgoldman: Thing is, unlike Wilt, Russell never cared about stats, only winning. “They don’t pay me to score”, he once said.

  44. 44.

    SFAW

    And in case anyone cares: the Evil Twins are tied at 6. I’m amazed that BOTH teams missed the PAT – what are the odds on THAT?

  45. 45.

    Davebo

    @SFAW:

    It’s OK. I’m biased because I lived a block from the old Summit (now a giant church) at the time Hakeem lead the Rockets to two championships. Oddly enough now I live a block from Toyota Center where the Rockets have been stinking it up this season!

  46. 46.

    Davebo

    @SFAW: The odds are much higher this season!

    I like the rule change. I’m amazed coaches haven’t just decided to go for two on each TD.

  47. 47.

    Heliopause

    As I was just remarking here at home, ain’t nothin’ better than watching Kirk Cousins and Matt Cassell lead field goal drives. The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.

  48. 48.

    Gin & Tonic

    @The Thin Black Duke: Wilt did his job. If it was to score, he scored. If it was to get boards, that’s what he did (6,000 more than Kareem.) If it was to provide assists, that’s what he did (the only center to ever lead the league in assists.)

  49. 49.

    Heliopause

    See? A missed field goal. You never know what’s going to happen in a FG kicking contest. Is this game great or what?

  52. 52.

    Heliopause

    So Dez lays out and snatches a bomb and sets up a tasty 20 yard field goal. God, this is better than sex.

  54. 54.

    Betty Cracker

    Tied at 9-all. What a snooze fest! Luckily for me, I just got a Roomba, so I’ve had something interesting to watch this evening. It’s brilliant. Poor little robot is earning its keep in this hog wallow; I’ve had to empty the crud catcher three times. The dog hair alone will keep it busy. Speaking of dogs, mine haven’t been all that interested in the Roomba. I’d feared the worst.

  55. 55.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    I’m rooting for Dallas, because it increases the odds of having a 6-10 NFC East champion.

  56. 56.

    max

    @Heliopause: The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.

    I still remember a Thanksgiving game back in the 70’s when the Cowboys beat the Bears 10-9. It was actually a good game.

    max
    [‘Tough game for sure.’]

  57. 57.

    fh

    Look, it’s no contest. Dallas wins because then it means the NFC East is knotted up with three teams at 5-6 and the Cowboys at 4-7. I just love a tight competition for the Division lead – so much excellence comes out.

  65. 65.

    redshirt

    And so I’m sure you all will be thrilled to learn I’ve made my fantasy playoffs. Crazily I was bouncing from 5th out of 16 to 9th out of 16 depending on tonight’s game. Than you late touchdown Darren McFadden!

  69. 69.

    CaseyL

    This is a completely wacko game. I wasn’t paying much attention until Washington’s No. 11 ran 40 yards mostly backwards and sideways on a kickoff return, and then fumbled the ball. Then they score a TD to tie the score. Now Dallas is steaming down the field with 30 seconds left in the game. Crazy.

  72. 72.

    max

    Well, that was ugly. I expected Washington to light up the Dallas defense what with how bad they’ve been lately, but not so much.

    I guess the one thing you can count on – no matter how terrible (in any sense) Jerry Jones and the Cowboys might be, the Racial Epithets will somehow to be even more awful.

    max
    [‘It’s like there was some ancient Native American curse was on the team or something.’]

  73. 73.

    Onkel Fritze

    @Heliopause:

    I think that’s an ugly rumour and the only reason you can get away with it is that nobody really knows where Fort Worth actually is.

  75. 75.

    fh

    If Dallas beats Washington at home in the last game and they are in a 3-way (or 4-way) tie for the Division title then they own the tie breaker. I’m rooting for a 6-10 Dallas team to take the crown!

  76. 76.

    Anoniminous

    @Onkel Fritze:

    I think that’s an ugly rumour and the only reason you can get away with it is that nobody really knows cares where Fort Worth actually is.

    FIFY.

  77. 77.

    Mike J

    @efgoldman:

    In ’59 it was Celts vs Lakers. I was in 8th grade. Celts 173-Lakers 139 I kept the stub for decades.

    I saw game one of the ’85 Celts/Lakers final at the (old/original/one true)Garden. No Bob Cousy, but a hojillion hall of famers in that game, and the Celts won in a blowout. I don’t even like basketball that much, but that was one I was glad I went to.

  82. 82.

    Mike J

    We’re losing a lot of people because of the internet,” Trump said. “We have to see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that internet up in some ways. Somebody will say, ‘Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.’ These are foolish people.”

  84. 84.

    redshirt

    Kareem scored the most points, and no one is likely to take that record away from him. In a game where you win by scoring more points, I think that makes him the best player ever.

  85. 85.

    2liberal

    @redshirt:

    Kareem is the best professional basketball player of all time. That tops Ali’s titles IMO, though it is close.

    I can’t believe a Boston fan would say something like this.

  86. 86.

    Amir Khalid

    Kareem Abdul-Jabbar isn’t just a legendary basketball player, of course. He’s become an accclaimed writer in his later years, and when I think of him, “writer” comes to mind more easily than “athlete”.

  88. 88.

    Peale

    @Onkel Fritze: so that there will be two Cowboys vs. Indians games each season. The NFL knows the power of rivalries. No matter what happens, the Packers-Bears-Vikings will always be in the same division. raiders-Chiefs-Broncos and steelers-Browns. cowboys-Redskins-Giants. There’s a marketing gimmick between Washington and Dallas involving their mascots.

  89. 89.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:
    This again? That’s like saying that Pete Rose was the bestest player EVAH because he had the most hits, or Barry Bonds was because he had the most home runs, or Cy Young for wins, or Rickey Henderson for all sorts of stuff, or Mario Mendoza for greatest number of negative references.

    When we all know that the true answer is:

    Rod Kanehl.

  91. 91.

    SFAW

    @Amir Khalid:

    and when I think of him, “writer” comes to mind more easily than “athlete”.

    That’s crazy talk. What the hell kind of ‘Murican are you?

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