As Olsen Johnson would say: Now who can argue with THAT?
But since that is unlikely to happen, how about this as a fallback: Ethnic Slurs win, but Snyder gets severely concussed during the postgame celebration? It may not be a Win-Win-Win scenario, but 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.
ETA: Even better would be Zombie Tom Landry beating Snyder (more) senseless with his ossified game hat. (Not that I ever liked Landry, but I’m trying to think outside the coffin box here.)
3.
Baud
detestable Ethnic Slurs of DC.
Steve King plays professional football?
4.
Wileybud
Look at the bright side – you can cheer any injuries, no matter upon which side it’s inflicted!
5.
khead
SOMEone was out there betting on the Cowboys today. Line dropped from 3.5 to 1.5 before kickoff.
6.
yodecat
How can you all hate… America’s Team?! I’ll bet that you all are stealth Muslims.
The Ethnic Slurs are surprisingly decent in the crappy NFC East. Heck, if they didn’t have all the drama they might actually be good. Snyder won’t allow that, though.
12.
scav
@SFAW: Exactly. Except I’m hoping it’s Zeus that plays target practice with the ball. Thor as backup, then Shango, or maybe the other way round.
@Davebo: I don’t think Kareem is the greatest of all time. But he is in the group where differences on the topic are a matter of opinion and not evidence.
Kareem is the best Milwaukee Bucks player of all time.
It’s not clear that Kareem is even the best Laker of all time – that might be Magic. I imagine if you define your terms tightly enough, you could get it to come out to be Kareem, however.
He’s the greatest center of all time. Of that I have no doubt.
The Hank Finkel Fan Club wants to have a word with you.
32.
JMG
Best Laker of all time is a pretty hard one to answer, just like best Celtic. But Kareem was the one Chick Hearn revered most, and that has to count for something.
But Kareem was the one Chick Hearn revered most, and that has to count for something.
It does – that and two bucks will get you on the LA subway.
35.
cmorenc
@Betty Cracker:
Horrid Cowboys vs. detestable Ethnic Slurs of DC. If only both could suffer a humiliating defeat!
…which raises an interesting question: IS there any plausible (even if unlikely) scenario under NFL rules which could result in *both* opponents in a football game losing the game? I would think it would require some kind of severe rules violation by each team, the specified penalty for which is forfeiture of the game. Is there any potential scenario where that could happen?
36.
The Thin Black Duke
@Davebo: Mr. Russell would also like a word with you. (Plus, Russell and Michael Jordan were golfing buddies, and Bill was the only guy who could talk trash to His Airness and get away with it “Six rings? Only six, Mike?”)
Although I loved Russell, and couldn’t stand Wilt, I’m not sure Bill was better. Certainly a better leader (both on and off the court), but as a straight-up player? A little tougher to call. (No, I’m not arguing for Wilt.)
It’s OK. I’m biased because I lived a block from the old Summit (now a giant church) at the time Hakeem lead the Rockets to two championships. Oddly enough now I live a block from Toyota Center where the Rockets have been stinking it up this season!
I like the rule change. I’m amazed coaches haven’t just decided to go for two on each TD.
47.
Heliopause
As I was just remarking here at home, ain’t nothin’ better than watching Kirk Cousins and Matt Cassell lead field goal drives. The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.
48.
Gin & Tonic
@The Thin Black Duke: Wilt did his job. If it was to score, he scored. If it was to get boards, that’s what he did (6,000 more than Kareem.) If it was to provide assists, that’s what he did (the only center to ever lead the league in assists.)
49.
Heliopause
See? A missed field goal. You never know what’s going to happen in a FG kicking contest. Is this game great or what?
So Dez lays out and snatches a bomb and sets up a tasty 20 yard field goal. God, this is better than sex.
53.
Omnes Omnibus
@SFAW: The canonical version would be “Roger, Roger.”
54.
Betty Cracker
Tied at 9-all. What a snooze fest! Luckily for me, I just got a Roomba, so I’ve had something interesting to watch this evening. It’s brilliant. Poor little robot is earning its keep in this hog wallow; I’ve had to empty the crud catcher three times. The dog hair alone will keep it busy. Speaking of dogs, mine haven’t been all that interested in the Roomba. I’d feared the worst.
55.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
I’m rooting for Dallas, because it increases the odds of having a 6-10 NFC East champion.
56.
max
@Heliopause: The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.
I still remember a Thanksgiving game back in the 70’s when the Cowboys beat the Bears 10-9. It was actually a good game.
max
[‘Tough game for sure.’]
57.
fh
Look, it’s no contest. Dallas wins because then it means the NFC East is knotted up with three teams at 5-6 and the Cowboys at 4-7. I just love a tight competition for the Division lead – so much excellence comes out.
And so I’m sure you all will be thrilled to learn I’ve made my fantasy playoffs. Crazily I was bouncing from 5th out of 16 to 9th out of 16 depending on tonight’s game. Than you late touchdown Darren McFadden!
This is a completely wacko game. I wasn’t paying much attention until Washington’s No. 11 ran 40 yards mostly backwards and sideways on a kickoff return, and then fumbled the ball. Then they score a TD to tie the score. Now Dallas is steaming down the field with 30 seconds left in the game. Crazy.
70.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
@MomSense: You don’t get to go around calling Joe Frazier an Uncle Tom and be the greatest.
Well, that was ugly. I expected Washington to light up the Dallas defense what with how bad they’ve been lately, but not so much.
I guess the one thing you can count on – no matter how terrible (in any sense) Jerry Jones and the Cowboys might be, the Racial Epithets will somehow to be even more awful.
max
[‘It’s like there was some ancient Native American curse was on the team or something.’]
@efgoldman: Nice story. I can picture the “olden times”. Did you have little brown bags of peanuts, slicked back hair, and cigarettes?
75.
fh
If Dallas beats Washington at home in the last game and they are in a 3-way (or 4-way) tie for the Division title then they own the tie breaker. I’m rooting for a 6-10 Dallas team to take the crown!
In ’59 it was Celts vs Lakers. I was in 8th grade. Celts 173-Lakers 139 I kept the stub for decades.
I saw game one of the ’85 Celts/Lakers final at the (old/original/one true)Garden. No Bob Cousy, but a hojillion hall of famers in that game, and the Celts won in a blowout. I don’t even like basketball that much, but that was one I was glad I went to.
Canucks score. Vrbata gets a hat trick. Now 5-2 :)
80.
Doug R
@Heliopause: If you like field goals, you’ll love the cfl.
81.
Mike J
@efgoldman: Not just the Celts, look who was playing for the Lakers in that era too. Kareem, Parrish, Magic.
82.
Mike J
We’re losing a lot of people because of the internet,” Trump said. “We have to see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that internet up in some ways. Somebody will say, ‘Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.’ These are foolish people.”
83.
piratedan7
still think the Big O was the best, but not many people have seen him play
Kareem scored the most points, and no one is likely to take that record away from him. In a game where you win by scoring more points, I think that makes him the best player ever.
Kareem is the best professional basketball player of all time. That tops Ali’s titles IMO, though it is close.
I can’t believe a Boston fan would say something like this.
86.
Amir Khalid
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar isn’t just a legendary basketball player, of course. He’s become an accclaimed writer in his later years, and when I think of him, “writer” comes to mind more easily than “athlete”.
87.
Peale
@efgoldman: he’s the best Buck of all time, though.
88.
Peale
@Onkel Fritze: so that there will be two Cowboys vs. Indians games each season. The NFL knows the power of rivalries. No matter what happens, the Packers-Bears-Vikings will always be in the same division. raiders-Chiefs-Broncos and steelers-Browns. cowboys-Redskins-Giants. There’s a marketing gimmick between Washington and Dallas involving their mascots.
89.
SFAW
@redshirt:
This again? That’s like saying that Pete Rose was the bestest player EVAH because he had the most hits, or Barry Bonds was because he had the most home runs, or Cy Young for wins, or Rickey Henderson for all sorts of stuff, or Mario Mendoza for greatest number of negative references.
Loneoak
The classic “rooting for the asteroid” scenario.
SFAW
As Olsen Johnson would say: Now who can argue with THAT?
But since that is unlikely to happen, how about this as a fallback: Ethnic Slurs win, but Snyder gets severely concussed during the postgame celebration? It may not be a Win-Win-Win scenario, but 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.
ETA: Even better would be Zombie Tom Landry beating Snyder (more) senseless with his ossified game hat. (Not that I ever liked Landry, but I’m trying to think outside the
coffinbox here.)Baud
Steve King plays professional football?
Wileybud
Look at the bright side – you can cheer any injuries, no matter upon which side it’s inflicted!
khead
SOMEone was out there betting on the Cowboys today. Line dropped from 3.5 to 1.5 before kickoff.
yodecat
How can you all hate… America’s Team?! I’ll bet that you all are stealth Muslims.
PaulW
Go Bucs!
SFAW
@yodecat:
Stealth?
SFAW
@PaulW:
Baseball’s over for this year.
SFAW
@efgoldman:
Yer speling it rong. (Bucs, that is.)
Go Power Memorial!
ETA: Oh, yeah, almost forgot: it’s Lew.
redshirt
The Ethnic Slurs are surprisingly decent in the crappy NFC East. Heck, if they didn’t have all the drama they might actually be good. Snyder won’t allow that, though.
scav
@SFAW: Exactly. Except I’m hoping it’s Zeus that plays target practice with the ball. Thor as backup, then Shango, or maybe the other way round.
SFAW
@scav:
Sounds good to me.
redshirt
@efgoldman: Kareem is the best Muslim American athlete, in case there was any debate.
trollhattan
@redshirt:
There’s that Ali feller who deserves consideration.
I give it up for Kareem’s post-sports life, as he’s really blossomed as an advocate, thinker, writer, etc.
raven
@redshirt: Baloney, no one is near Ali.
SFAW
@raven:
Seconded (or thirded, I guess).
redshirt
@raven: Kareem is the best professional basketball player of all time. That tops Ali’s titles IMO, though it is close.
lurker dean
our ever vigilante media in action:
Christopher C. Cuomo
So the media should strike him down for making a suggestion that perhaps offends certain sensibilities?
https://twitter.com/ChrisCuomo/status/674018884270297088
“Perhaps offends certain sensibilities?!?!”
different-church-lady
I’m disappointed you’re not gloating more about the Pats’ stepping on a rake yesterday.
Schlemazel
@redshirt:
There is this guy that floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee who would disagree with your assessment & I have to agree with him.
EDIT: and once I again I am reminded I should read all comments before posting. WHat all those other guys said!
lurker dean
@lurker dean: vigilant, oops..
Davebo
@redshirt:
That’s a bit of an overstatement. Though I would say he’s in my top two of best NBA centers of all time.
Davebo
@redshirt:
And ironically, the other guy in my top two centers list is also a muslim!
Betty Cracker
@different-church-lady: Okay, here ya go!
Howard Beale IV
You can always hope for a tie.
JMG
@Davebo: I don’t think Kareem is the greatest of all time. But he is in the group where differences on the topic are a matter of opinion and not evidence.
Schlemazel
@Davebo:
George Mikan was a Muslim?!?!
SFAW
@redshirt:
It’s not clear that Kareem is even the best Laker of all time – that might be Magic. I imagine if you define your terms tightly enough, you could get it to come out to be Kareem, however.
Davebo
@JMG:
He’s the greatest center of all time. Of that I have no doubt.
But yeah, Ali is the greatest muslim athlete of all time.
SFAW
@Davebo:
The Hank Finkel Fan Club wants to have a word with you.
JMG
Best Laker of all time is a pretty hard one to answer, just like best Celtic. But Kareem was the one Chick Hearn revered most, and that has to count for something.
SFAW
@Davebo:
Hakeem?
SFAW
@JMG:
It does – that and two bucks will get you on the LA subway.
cmorenc
@Betty Cracker:
…which raises an interesting question: IS there any plausible (even if unlikely) scenario under NFL rules which could result in *both* opponents in a football game losing the game? I would think it would require some kind of severe rules violation by each team, the specified penalty for which is forfeiture of the game. Is there any potential scenario where that could happen?
The Thin Black Duke
@Davebo: Mr. Russell would also like a word with you. (Plus, Russell and Michael Jordan were golfing buddies, and Bill was the only guy who could talk trash to His Airness and get away with it “Six rings? Only six, Mike?”)
SFAW
@efgoldman:
Although I loved Russell, and couldn’t stand Wilt, I’m not sure Bill was better. Certainly a better leader (both on and off the court), but as a straight-up player? A little tougher to call. (No, I’m not arguing for Wilt.)
SFAW
@efgoldman:
You say that as if it’s a bad thing.
Actually, it was for your benefit, thought you might appreciate a little levity.
Davebo
@SFAW: Of course.
3830 blocked shots and a post game that seriously competes with Kareem.
SFAW
@efgoldman:
Russell was a better defensive player, but he also had better teams around him.
ETA: No, I’m not forgetting the Lakers with Baylor and West, although that team played the Russell Celts for only one season..
The Thin Black Duke
@efgoldman: Thing is, unlike Wilt, Russell never cared about stats, only winning. “They don’t pay me to score”, he once said.
SFAW
@Davebo:
Wasn’t looking to argue, just checking to see if I had guessed right. (No, I’m not taking your reply as arguing.)
SFAW
@The Thin Black Duke:
As I said, he was a leader.
SFAW
And in case anyone cares: the Evil Twins are tied at 6. I’m amazed that BOTH teams missed the PAT – what are the odds on THAT?
Davebo
@SFAW:
It’s OK. I’m biased because I lived a block from the old Summit (now a giant church) at the time Hakeem lead the Rockets to two championships. Oddly enough now I live a block from Toyota Center where the Rockets have been stinking it up this season!
Davebo
@SFAW: The odds are much higher this season!
I like the rule change. I’m amazed coaches haven’t just decided to go for two on each TD.
Heliopause
As I was just remarking here at home, ain’t nothin’ better than watching Kirk Cousins and Matt Cassell lead field goal drives. The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.
Gin & Tonic
@The Thin Black Duke: Wilt did his job. If it was to score, he scored. If it was to get boards, that’s what he did (6,000 more than Kareem.) If it was to provide assists, that’s what he did (the only center to ever lead the league in assists.)
Heliopause
See? A missed field goal. You never know what’s going to happen in a FG kicking contest. Is this game great or what?
Mnemosyne (tablet)
@efgoldman:
Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!
SFAW
@Mnemosyne (tablet):
Roger.
Heliopause
So Dez lays out and snatches a bomb and sets up a tasty 20 yard field goal. God, this is better than sex.
Omnes Omnibus
@SFAW: The canonical version would be “Roger, Roger.”
Betty Cracker
Tied at 9-all. What a snooze fest! Luckily for me, I just got a Roomba, so I’ve had something interesting to watch this evening. It’s brilliant. Poor little robot is earning its keep in this hog wallow; I’ve had to empty the crud catcher three times. The dog hair alone will keep it busy. Speaking of dogs, mine haven’t been all that interested in the Roomba. I’d feared the worst.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
I’m rooting for Dallas, because it increases the odds of having a 6-10 NFC East champion.
max
@Heliopause: The rest of you can have your damned Brady and Rodgers and Manning and Brees throwing for candy-ass touchdowns, give me a good, old-fashioned, NFC East, Madden and Summerall field goal throwdown any day.
I still remember a Thanksgiving game back in the 70’s when the Cowboys beat the Bears 10-9. It was actually a good game.
max
[‘Tough game for sure.’]
fh
Look, it’s no contest. Dallas wins because then it means the NFC East is knotted up with three teams at 5-6 and the Cowboys at 4-7. I just love a tight competition for the Division lead – so much excellence comes out.
max
Crap. Correction, Thanksgiving 1981.
max
[‘Monday. Sheesh.’]
SFAW
@Omnes Omnibus:
Hunh?
Onkel Fritze
Question from a non-American occasional football-watcher.
Why is Dallas in the NFC East ?
Omnes Omnibus
@Onkel Fritze: Because reasons.
redshirt
@Onkel Fritze: Tradition at this point. The league used to be smaller.
A Humble Lurker
OT But is anybody else watching the Daily Show? Holy shit.
SFAW
@Onkel Fritze:
Unfortunately, it was part of a deal the NFL made to keep Texas from seceding. Thanks,
ObamaGoodell!redshirt
And so I’m sure you all will be thrilled to learn I’ve made my fantasy playoffs. Crazily I was bouncing from 5th out of 16 to 9th out of 16 depending on tonight’s game. Than you late touchdown Darren McFadden!
SFAW
@A Humble Lurker:
As we used to say to our kids: “Words. Use your words!”
SFAW
@redshirt:
I used to love him in “Mike Hammer.”
MomSense
@raven:
Ali, he’s the greatest.
CaseyL
This is a completely wacko game. I wasn’t paying much attention until Washington’s No. 11 ran 40 yards mostly backwards and sideways on a kickoff return, and then fumbled the ball. Then they score a TD to tie the score. Now Dallas is steaming down the field with 30 seconds left in the game. Crazy.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
@MomSense: You don’t get to go around calling Joe Frazier an Uncle Tom and be the greatest.
Heliopause
@Onkel Fritze:
Dallas is east of Forth Worth.
max
Well, that was ugly. I expected Washington to light up the Dallas defense what with how bad they’ve been lately, but not so much.
I guess the one thing you can count on – no matter how terrible (in any sense) Jerry Jones and the Cowboys might be, the Racial Epithets will somehow to be even more awful.
max
[‘It’s like there was some ancient Native American curse was on the team or something.’]
Onkel Fritze
@Heliopause:
I think that’s an ugly rumour and the only reason you can get away with it is that nobody really knows where Fort Worth actually is.
redshirt
@efgoldman: Nice story. I can picture the “olden times”. Did you have little brown bags of peanuts, slicked back hair, and cigarettes?
fh
If Dallas beats Washington at home in the last game and they are in a 3-way (or 4-way) tie for the Division title then they own the tie breaker. I’m rooting for a 6-10 Dallas team to take the crown!
Anoniminous
@Onkel Fritze:
FIFY.
Mike J
@efgoldman:
I saw game one of the ’85 Celts/Lakers final at the (old/original/one true)Garden. No Bob Cousy, but a hojillion hall of famers in that game, and the Celts won in a blowout. I don’t even like basketball that much, but that was one I was glad I went to.
Doug R
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k2igwohrh_s
Kareem just can’t get respect sometimes.
Doug R
Canucks score. Vrbata gets a hat trick. Now 5-2 :)
Doug R
@Heliopause: If you like field goals, you’ll love the cfl.
Mike J
@efgoldman: Not just the Celts, look who was playing for the Lakers in that era too. Kareem, Parrish, Magic.
Mike J
piratedan7
still think the Big O was the best, but not many people have seen him play
redshirt
Kareem scored the most points, and no one is likely to take that record away from him. In a game where you win by scoring more points, I think that makes him the best player ever.
2liberal
@redshirt:
I can’t believe a Boston fan would say something like this.
Amir Khalid
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar isn’t just a legendary basketball player, of course. He’s become an accclaimed writer in his later years, and when I think of him, “writer” comes to mind more easily than “athlete”.
Peale
@efgoldman: he’s the best Buck of all time, though.
Peale
@Onkel Fritze: so that there will be two Cowboys vs. Indians games each season. The NFL knows the power of rivalries. No matter what happens, the Packers-Bears-Vikings will always be in the same division. raiders-Chiefs-Broncos and steelers-Browns. cowboys-Redskins-Giants. There’s a marketing gimmick between Washington and Dallas involving their mascots.
SFAW
@redshirt:
This again? That’s like saying that Pete Rose was the bestest player EVAH because he had the most hits, or Barry Bonds was because he had the most home runs, or Cy Young for wins, or Rickey Henderson for all sorts of stuff, or Mario Mendoza for greatest number of negative references.
When we all know that the true answer is:
Rod Kanehl.
SFAW
@efgoldman:
Yeah, the Big O was all kinds of awesome. Wish I could see him play today.
SFAW
@Amir Khalid:
That’s crazy talk. What the hell kind of ‘Murican are you?