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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Cruz-ifiction / Open Thread: Visual Proof

Open Thread: Visual Proof

by Anne Laurie|  December 12, 20151:06 pm| 70 Comments

This post is in: Cruz-ifiction, Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Proud to Be A Democrat, Assholes

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I wonder how it feels to be an appendage to Trump's lower bowel. https://t.co/mORG92sg3R

— Billmon (@billmon1) December 12, 2015

The Establishment's only hope: Trump & me in a cage match. Sorry to disappoint — @realDonaldTrump is terrific. #DealWithIt

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 11, 2015

Cruz is the one down by the shark's anus. pic.twitter.com/UXdhFGg3ox

— Billmon (@billmon1) December 12, 2015

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Previous Post: « Saturday Morning Open Thread: Think Harriet Tubman Will Ever Get “A Moment”?
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Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    December 12, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    And, of course, at this point the only vaguely plausible “Establishment” candidate is Rubio. Who has pretty much the same set of cockamamie policy beliefs as Cruz, he’s just better at hiding them and cloaking them in seemingly-inoccuous language.

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    December 12, 2015 at 1:16 pm

    @efgoldman: One could make a reasonable argument that post-Crucifixion Jesus was the original zombie. He died and is risen, and HUNGERS FOR YOUR BRAINS!

  3. 3.

    Schlemazel

    December 12, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    @dmsilev:
    He should show up at the RNC, plenty there that are not being used for anything anyway.

  4. 4.

    maya

    December 12, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Trump and Cruz could settle their affairs in Weehawken, just up the road from where those mooslims were cheering the WTC collapse. It has historic appropriateness and involves GUNS.

  5. 5.

    Germy

    December 12, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP 16h16 hours ago
    Fact checking Donald Trump is like delousing a corpse

  6. 6.

    shell

    December 12, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Damn, that shark even looks a little like Trump

  7. 7.

    Redshift

    December 12, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    @dmsilev: And more important to the establishment, Rubio’s “beliefs” are whatever works at the moment to get elected, and he’s much more likely to go along with the establishment program if elected (based on his having espoused sincerely held beliefs at both ends of the GOP spectrum on immigration.)

    I don’t think Cruz’ beliefs are any more sincere, but Rubio seems to believe whatever is best for him, whereas Cruz goes for whatever is best for him at the expense of everyone else.

  8. 8.

    Cermet

    December 12, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    Cruz is a dangerous, power hungry psychotic; Rubio is a bush the shrub twin (maybe even more stupid if that is believable) and would be a complete tool for neocons and teabaggers; bush the so-called smarter is an utter tool of big business; chump is a power seeking actor who would rubber stamp much of the thug congress passes; and all the rest are clowns with issues too big to get near the steering wheel of the clown bus. The worse past is this really is the best the thug party has to offer and far more sane then much of their voter base – talk about scary! Where are the Goth’s when you need them … lest Darkness does Fall … .

  9. 9.

    MattF

    December 12, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    I have a theory about why Ted Cruz is so unattractive– he’s a bad actor. And I mean that in the sense of ‘acting’ as a sort of skill. He has to put on an act– as many politicians do– and he’s very, very bad at it.

    And that must really frustrate him. He’s so smart, after all– and actors as a group have the reputation of not being the sharpest tools in the drawer– but he just can’t do it right. He memorizes his lines, he gets every little gesture down pat, but it still looks fake. The difference between good acting and bad acting is microscopic, but everyone sees it immediately.

    To take a specific example, Tilda Swinton is, to put it gently, an airhead. But her performance in, e.g., Michael Clayton was amazing and hypnotic. How did she do it? Cruz will never understand that, or approach that– not ever.

  10. 10.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 12, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Good lord, Ted Cruz’ tweet sounds like something that came out of Evil Chucky Johnson’s mouth.

    Isn’t Evil Chuck a big fan of Ted Cruz?

    That mixture of ego and sociopathy.

  11. 11.

    Mike J

    December 12, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    Argh. It would be so much easier to keep up with new threads if we had out next/prev thread dohickies back. If the fancyschmancy side things don’t work, bring back the static text links. I like them better that the nearly invisible things that require javascript anyway.

  12. 12.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 12, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    @Cermet: Where are the Goths–you mean we’re being overrun by Franks?

    Now there’s an ‘oh shit’ moment.

  13. 13.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 12, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    @Mike J: They’re working on my machine, Mac/Chrome.

  14. 14.

    benw

    December 12, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Those tweets are an insult to honest sharks and remoras everywhere.

  15. 15.

    mdblanche

    December 12, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Climate deal approval just announced out of Paris.

  16. 16.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    I’m mildly surprised Trump or Cruz don’t have their very own little “private security force” = paramilitary wing. Given their demographic support Trump would have an easier time organizing one but Cruz could get some true wing-dings from the violent ward of the Pro-Life crowd.

  17. 17.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Now that Cruz is getting more airtime I’m better able to gauge how pathological he is–basically Sarah Palin with 50% more glibness and 50% lower ethics.

    Once again: thanks a lot, Texas! You manage to take Kentucky off the hook as state doing the most damage to the nation.

  18. 18.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 12, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    @dmsilev: Technically the zombies were the righteous dead who rise from their coffins on Judgment day. On that day Jesus, who had previously returned to his spiritual, heavenly realm, will descend back to Earth.

    And there’s also the silly passage in one of the Gospels–Matthew?–where the dead in Jerusalem rise from their graves and go berserking after Jesus dies.

    And then there’s Lazarus. JMS did a good series on that. The curse of immortality.

  19. 19.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    @Anoniminous:
    I don’t foresee either getting through the election cycle before their crews top Rand Paul’s curb-stomped woman protester.

  20. 20.

    FlipYrWhig

    December 12, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    @MattF: I think that comes from his debate training. I have said before that whenever he’s speaking you can practically see him counting the beats for each carefully chosen pause.

    The thing about Cruz is that it’s easily evident that he thinks everyone else in the world is inferior to him. That’s why his demagoguery is so hollow. You can tell he thinks everyone listening to him is a peon waiting to be manipulated. I think Trump is a megalomaniac who craves everyone’s approval. Cruz is an unloved, loveless sociopath who sees “people” as a means to amass overwhelming power.

  21. 21.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Some Trump fans pushed and kicked around a Black Lives Matter protester at one of his rallies.

    Does that count?

  22. 22.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    @efgoldman:

    I think they know just enough history to see the immediate brownshirt comparison potential.

    Do you think it would matter? Given what I’m reading in the Infortainment Mediums I think it would be a wash.

  23. 23.

    danielx

    December 12, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    It’s getting worse.

    Every time I see Ted Cruz with that Eddie Haskell smirk (h/t Betty Cracker), that most excellent word backpfeifengesicht leaps to the front of my mind.

  24. 24.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    @FlipYrWhig:
    He was using debate-fu on Morning Edition this week. “You and I are both old enough to remember when climate scientists were predicting an ice age…”

    Manufacture a “shared experience” then to on to show how the interviewer’s line of questioning is based on a false premise (along with 99% of those totally-bought “scientists”).

  25. 25.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 12, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    @efgoldman: Marching off to war, like the dead horde roused from their slumber by Aragorn? It’s all connected!

  26. 26.

    BR

    December 12, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    @Anoniminous:

    Do you know if they ended up prosecuting anyone for that?

  27. 27.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    @Anoniminous:
    Certainly deserves a nomination. Did it top this?

  28. 28.

    Baud

    December 12, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    @trollhattan: I’m old enough to remember when scientists were proposing the earth was “round.” Yet where’s the proof that anyone has fallen off the planet?

  29. 29.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    @BR:

    I don’t know. I haven’t found any evidence of it. The only thing I can find is*:

    Mercutio Southall, who was violently kicked out of a Donald Trump event in Alabama last month, plans to meet with the Birmingham Police Department next week to discuss a hate-crime investigation.

    On the other hand:

    A protester at a South Carolina rally for Donald Trump was charged with assault at the request of the mother of a Trump supporter.

    * see: http://newsone.com/3292133/black-protester-assaulted-at-trump-rally-seeks-hate-crime-charge/
    I’m at the three link limit.

    ETA: not that doing it that way did a bit of good!

  30. 30.

    patroclus

    December 12, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    @MattF: Michael Clayton is one of the greatest films of all time! It’s so epic and mythic and the acting – particularly by Clooney and Swinton is amazing. That last scene between the two is riveting! Everything about the movie is great – Realm and Conquest is reality!

  31. 31.

    Ruckus

    December 12, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    @FlipYrWhig:
    The thing about Cruz is that it’s easily evident that he thinks everyone else in the world is inferior to him.
    This is why his face is so punchable and why people who know him think know he’s an asshole. He’s not even a good sociopath, almost everyone can see it in his face.

  32. 32.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    Can someone release my comment that is in moderation for having too many links?

  33. 33.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    @Baud:
    I drove off the edge once and my insurance company totally refused to pay for my totaled car! Some “flat-earth rider” was not included in the policy.

  34. 34.

    Anoniminous

    December 12, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    @trollhattan:

    That’s the winner so far.

    BUT …

    The campaign season is young.

  35. 35.

    pamelabrown53

    December 12, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Speaking of “Establishment Rubio”, it’s worth a gander to click on Vox on our blogroll. Interesting recent article entitled “Marco Rubio’s strategy is utterly baffling”. The crux is that he’s doing little campaigning or field organizing in either Iowa or New Hampshire. Instead, he’s relying on FOX appearances and advertising. Reminds me of the Guiliani non-strategy.

    I have to admit it makes me wonder if he’s in the race to raise his profile enough to land a mega-$$$ job. Fits with his pattern of living beyond his means. Rubio= shallow/callow. Any thoughts?

  36. 36.

    Baud

    December 12, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    @efgoldman:

    “Gravity” is only a theory.

    Some motherfucker just try to explain gravity. Can’t. Be. Done.

  37. 37.

    Baud

    December 12, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    @pamelabrown53: I excepted that in the last thread. Amazing.

  38. 38.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    @pamelabrown53:
    And here I thought it was Rubio=swallow.

    He’s a piece of fluff somehow groomed to get the oldster Florida vote. Not translating to the national stage too well, although he can still forge a role as “least-crazy finalist.”

  39. 39.

    oldgold

    December 12, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Cruz is a much more dangerous shark than Trump.

    Predident Trump would be a disaster. President Cruz would pose an existential threat to the Republic.

  40. 40.

    tony in san diego

    December 12, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    @efgoldman: except brain tissue is mostly fat.

  41. 41.

    trollhattan

    December 12, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    @oldgold:
    Completely agree.

  42. 42.

    dmsilev

    December 12, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    @Baud:

    Some motherfucker just try to explain gravity. Can’t. Be. Done.

    That’s easy: The Earth sucks.

  43. 43.

    debbie

    December 12, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    @Baud:

    As some RWNJs are wont to say, “Just because XX is widely accepted doesn’t mean it’s right.” XX could be any social issue, climate change, etc.

  44. 44.

    Cermet

    December 12, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    @Baud: Every astronaut who ever flew in space “fell off the Earth” while in orbit …(they are in continuous “free fall”. ) As for explaining gravity – try explaining light or anything microscopic in general, really. It all requires a common agreed upon “accept this” and then all else follows … mostly. Gravity as curved space makes sense as long as you ignore what is curved like one ignores what “waves” in light and exactly what makes mass … well, mass. Or what is a vacuum or what is time or its direction. All concepts break down as you look at the details – that is what makes quantum mechanics really a powerful concept unlike all previous theory’s – it avoids many unexplainable aspects of reality while clarifying most microscopic objects.

  45. 45.

    Zinsky

    December 12, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Cruz is as phony as a two dollar Rolex. With Trump – what you see is what you get. Cruz is a fake, a shell, a Trojan horse. He might truly be the devil under that smarmy “Bill Murray fucked a ferret” face. I would not trust Ted Cruz about anything. Pure evil and pure deceit.

  46. 46.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 12, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    @MattF: Cruz just looks like a nasty, sanctimonious religious hypocrite from Central Casting. Huckabee and Santorum and Carson are all in that same niche, but they don’t look exactly like what they are to the degree that he does.

  47. 47.

    patrick II

    December 12, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    @MattF:

    He has to put on an act– … – and he’s very, very bad at it.

    Were you talking about Cruz or Cruise?

  48. 48.

    MattF

    December 12, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    @patrick II: [Snort]

  49. 49.

    pamelabrown53

    December 12, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Well, to us, Rubio, may be too “callow to be a rainmaker” but to K Street and Wall Street “callowness” may be a feature not a bug. IMO, he wants big money that goes beyond hawking Florida citrus.

  50. 50.

    pamelabrown53

    December 12, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    @Baud:

    It is amazing. After reading the Vox piece I don’t know what to think. Do you think Rubio’s in it too win it?

    Hell, you’re campaigning harder than he!

  51. 51.

    pamelabrown53

    December 12, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    @efgoldman:

    While I don’t disagree, exactly, i.e., you may be right, he’s got the youth and will have national name recognition. They’ll provide the contacts and spiel.

  52. 52.

    Cermet

    December 12, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    @efgoldman: :)

  53. 53.

    Julia Grey

    December 12, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Things go up. Things fall down. Who can explain why?

    It takes a LOT of energy to throw things up over the edge of the gravity well.

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    December 12, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    @pamelabrown53:

    Cruz may want to be a lobbyist, but he probably wouldn’t be very successful. He likes pissing people off too much.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    December 12, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    I’m happy to see the LA Times pick up on Fat Tony’s idiotic assertion that UT is somehow too tough academically for minority science students. In reality, almost 60 percent of minority science faculty went to MIT, Harvard, or Stanford. UT’s not anywhere on the list.

    But, hey, if Fat Tony wants to keep claiming that UT is a better science school than MIT, we can all stand back to point and laugh at him.

  56. 56.

    Redshift

    December 12, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    @Zinsky:

    Cruz is as phony as a two dollar Rolex. With Trump – what you see is what you get.

    I disagree about Trump. He’s a BS artist. I don’t think he believes half of what he says, he only cares what works. He has a good instinct for getting the RWNJ base what they want to hear. For example, I don’t think he planned to make the first part of his run about Mexicans; he just threw a lot of stuff out there and that was what got a big response.

  57. 57.

    benw

    December 12, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    @efgoldman: Scalia’s a “geological originalist.” He honors the brilliance of medieval church thinkers by believing the sun orbits a flat earth. That fucker Galileo had it coming!

  58. 58.

    Docg

    December 12, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Donald Trump’s shit stirring is going to get someone important killed.

  59. 59.

    debbie

    December 12, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):

    Cruz may want to be a lobbyist, but he probably wouldn’t be very successful.

    Cruz is a cobra. He believes his soaring rhetorical powers will hypnotize anyone listening to him into a state of bliss. Let him take over Ralph Reed’s job.

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    December 12, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    @debbie:

    More like a rattlesnake who thinks he’s a cobra. As Scott Walker found out, having soaring rhetorical powers in your home state doesn’t usually translate to nationwide powers.

    (Though I’m aware I’m probably libeling rattlesnakes, who mostly just want to be left alone.)

  61. 61.

    Gimlet

    December 12, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    @benw:

    Must be a Republican

    https://www.rt.com/usa/325536-us-town-fears-solar-farms/

    A proposal for a solar farm has been rejected by the town council in Woodland, North Carolina following public concerns.

    One local man, Bobby Mann said that businesses would stop going to Woodland, the community would suffer as a result and the farms would suck up all the energy from the sun, according to the Roanoke-Chowan News Herald.

    “You’re killing your town,” he said. “All the young people are going to move out.”

    A retired science teacher, Jane Mann, expressed concerns that plants in the vicinity of the panels would not photosynthesize which would prevent the plants from growing.

    She also questioned the high number of cancer deaths in the area, saying no one could tell her that solar panels didn’t cause cancer.

  62. 62.

    Baud

    December 12, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    @pamelabrown53: I really can’t figure them out anymore. He has an opportunity — it seems strange that he’s not taking advantage. Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he’s surrounded by grifter consultants instead of people who can give him good advice.

  63. 63.

    raven

    December 12, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    I don’t want to read any of this because I just turned the DVR recording on. I was in the Army but I’m from a Navy family. My old man was an enlisted swabby in WW2, graduated from Illinois and became an officer. He hated the fuckers from the Academy with a passion. I felt the same way about the few West Point dopes I encountered in my 3 years. One particular butter bar could have gotten the reaction force I was on in Korea killed when we bolted out the gate in pursuit of “infiltrators” that were spotted. Thanks the FSM we didn’t find them. So, lets hope for a good football game and screw both Academies.

  64. 64.

    Doug R

    December 12, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    @efgoldman: Christmas and Easter in the same display!

  65. 65.

    Ruckus

    December 12, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    @Gimlet:
    What.
    The.
    Fuck?
    Some people are very lucky that breathing is an autonomic function.
    OK not the rest of us, that’s for sure.

  66. 66.

    PaulW

    December 12, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Sam Kinison called, he owns royalties on that joke.

  67. 67.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    December 12, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Well, c’mon, doctors keep telling us that the sun causes skin cancer, so *obviously* collecting sunlight in one place is going to cause cancer in the people who live near it. Science!

    For the sake of her former students, I really hope that retired teacher is currently suffering from some form of dementia and didn’t teach these weird theories to her unsuspecting students.

  68. 68.

    Ruckus

    December 12, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    @Mnemosyne (tablet):
    Considering that some of her fellow citizens also have bizarre “ideas” about the sun and solar cells I’d say she did.
    Some days I’m amazed that we aren’t all still grunting to communicate, wearing raw animal hides, eating raw meat and berries and living in caves. How have we managed to create a semi modern society with this level of neanderthal thinking reactions?

  69. 69.

    WaterGirl

    December 12, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    Does anybody here watch James Corden? I am a big fan and think his show is 10x better than Colbert’s.

  70. 70.

    rikyrah

    December 12, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    @MattF:

    I have a theory about why Ted Cruz is so unattractive– he’s a bad actor. And I mean that in the sense of ‘acting’ as a sort of skill. He has to put on an act– as many politicians do– and he’s very, very bad at it.

    He oozes creepy.

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