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You are here: Home / Politics / Domestic Politics / PoopGate Underscores Seven Years of Wingnut Suffering

PoopGate Underscores Seven Years of Wingnut Suffering

by Betty Cracker|  December 17, 201510:02 am| 165 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity

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While many of us libtards have seen the Obama years as a welcome respite from the non-stop stream of catastrophe and turmoil that marked the era of PBO’s predecessor, that view is not universally shared.

For wingnuts, the Obama years have brought fresh outrages on a daily basis. These stinging slaps in the face include the president taking the unprecedented liberty of putting his feet on his desk, refusing to put his hand over his heart during the pledge of allegiance, not wearing an American flag pin in his lapel, etc.

The Obamas have also caused exquisite wingnut pain by sullying the pristine whiteness of the White House in new and creative ways, such as gaying it up to celebrate marriage equality:

rainbow white house

And now the Obama family’s auxiliary poop-beast Sunny is literally taking a shit on We the People’s House, according to First Lady Michelle Obama, as pointed out by Washington Free Bacon staff writer Elizabeth Harrington:

First Lady Michelle Obama laughed about the animals defecating in the “People’s House.” She said the Portuguese Water Dogs, [sic] would still be rewarded with “lots of new toys and treats” for Christmas.

Wonkette notes that Harrington also tweeted about PoopGate:

harringtontweet

So bear in mind during this season of joy and giving (for which Baby Jeebus is the reason) that some of our countrymen are suffering and have been enduring immense pain for seven long years. As you pervert the true meaning of Christmas to distribute dildos during Secret Santa gift exchanges, use the holidays as an excuse to get snot-slinging drunk or ignore the festivities altogether due to your un-American practice of a religion other than Christianity or atheism, keep the suffering of the wingnuts in mind.

As Harrington reminds us, dropping Sunny-bombs in the White House isn’t the only desecration of which Sunny Obama is guilty: The beast has also been wielded as a weapon against white children by militant black nationalist Michelle Obama:

sunny-obama

Sure, the First Lady said it was just an accident caused by an exuberant puppy, and the child’s dad smiling in the background might seem to support that account. But we all know it was really payback for this:

CIVIL RIGHTS, 1963.  Police dog attacking a young black man during the Youth Mass Demonstration in Birmingham, Alabama, spring 1963.
CIVIL RIGHTS, 1963.
Police dog attacking a young black man during the Youth Mass Demonstration in Birmingham, Alabama, spring 1963.

The end.

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Next Post: Technically true bullshit »

Reader Interactions

165Comments

  1. 1.

    Elizabelle

    December 17, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Misread the title as PopeGate and smiling at how little joy Francis brings to Antonin Scalia and other “observant” (ultraconservative) Catholics.

    But I’ll take Sunny and Bo and Moochelle desecrating the White House any day of the week.

  2. 2.

    Elizabelle

    December 17, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Pope Francis is truly another cross wingnuts must bear. Why iz the real world so cruel to our wingnuts?

  3. 3.

    RSA

    December 17, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Oh, so dogs poop now? What’s the world coming to?

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    December 17, 2015 at 10:08 am

    In fairness, one of Bush’s dogs tried to bite a White House reporter, so I’m going to have to give this round to Bush.

  5. 5.

    Snarkworth

    December 17, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Among the horrible things Obama did, the most unforgivable is that he once ordered orange juice at a diner. That pleated the panties of the Right for weeks.

  6. 6.

    Germy

    December 17, 2015 at 10:11 am

    It wasn’t just poopgate, it was all the insults leading up to poopgate.

    Poopgate is just the icing on the cake.

  7. 7.

    Poopyman

    December 17, 2015 at 10:13 am

    I am POOPYMAN, and I approve this post.

    The other End.

  8. 8.

    Germy

    December 17, 2015 at 10:13 am

    that time Obama wore that beige suit. So unpresidential. I wept for days.

  9. 9.

    Satby

    December 17, 2015 at 10:14 am

    “Garbage dog of garbage president”? Really, it just kills them that we accuse them of racism, because they think they hide it so well.
    Unreal.

  10. 10.

    benw

    December 17, 2015 at 10:14 am

    It’s called the White House, Obamas. Don’t think Presidenting while black is not a crime! Oh, and Hillary, don’t make us start calling it the White Man House.

    But seriously, if Hillz is elected, the stories of First Gent Bill misbehaving in the WH are going to make the doggies look like amateurs.

  11. 11.

    OzarkHillbilly

    December 17, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I now know what to get Elizabeth Harrington for Christmas: A flaming bag of dog poop on her front step.

  12. 12.

    Face

    December 17, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Cant they just hire someone to walk the freakin’ dog thrice daily? Seriously, dogs poop in the house when they’re either too sick to hold it in or not let out enough. Maybe they can hire Dick Santorum in a few weeks to do such a job.

  13. 13.

    Chyron HR

    December 17, 2015 at 10:19 am

    Okay, everybody keep this under your hats until January 2017, but I have it on good authority that Barack Hussein Obama himself not only poops but also does pee-pee in the White House.

  14. 14.

    Satby

    December 17, 2015 at 10:20 am

    @Face: you seriously think the dogs are routinely having accidents in the house? Because I would bet this doesn’t happen normally at all, they were either talking about housebreaking or a sick animal., which to the wingnut instantly translated into the Obamas freely letting the dogs defecate wherever, because disrespect for “the people’s house” and “some people (you know the kind) just live like that”.

  15. 15.

    Hildebrand

    December 17, 2015 at 10:21 am

    I love watching these knaves working so hard to be outraged. It gives me no end of joy to watch their little tantrums. I especially love calculating the time it will take for my wingnut relatives to cough up these stories on Facebook. My wife and I place bets on which of them will mention it first.

  16. 16.

    peach flavored shampoo

    December 17, 2015 at 10:22 am

    I noticed that the Black president has a Black wife with Black children and now a Black dog. Hell of a coincidence, eh?

    Led Zepplin predicted this 40 years ago.

  17. 17.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 10:23 am

    @Hildebrand: Yeah, I was first alerted to it by a wingnut aunt on Facebook who was absolutely livid.

  18. 18.

    jeffreyw

    December 17, 2015 at 10:25 am

    Sure, the First Lady said it was just an accident caused by an exuberant puppy, and the child’s dad smiling in the background might seem to support that account. But we all know it was really payback for this:

    Lyndon Johnson Lifts Dog by Ears

  19. 19.

    Face

    December 17, 2015 at 10:26 am

    @Satby: I took that tweet to be complete snark. Now I’m realizing that the tweet was supposed to be taken fo reals. Wow, wingtards really in a tizzy about dog poop on a carpet? Have they not invented RugDoctors and steam cleaners in Jerkistan yet?

  20. 20.

    bemused

    December 17, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Wingnuts are ridiculous.

  21. 21.

    Belafon

    December 17, 2015 at 10:28 am

    @Elizabelle: As someone who also reads Little Green Footballs, I thought this was going to be about a certain red-haired idiot.

  22. 22.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 17, 2015 at 10:28 am

    What is really twisting their knickers is that we are coming up on the last year of the presidency without any real scandal and what is looking to be a very successful two terms. And they all look stupid and are mocked for their various conspiracy theories over the years, up to and including he should be impeached for doing blow in the presidential limo.

    This is causing heads to explode.

  23. 23.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 10:32 am

    @TaMara (BHF): Bingo. Of course, if you ask a wingnut, the Obama administration has been mired in scandals that make Watergate + Teapot Dome + Iran-Contra x infinity look small by comparison. But I think in their hearts even they know it’s not true, and that really frosts their flakes.

  24. 24.

    Roger Moore

    December 17, 2015 at 10:32 am

    Everyone knows you’re supposed to let the dog poop all over its crate on top of your car./Mittens

  25. 25.

    Satby

    December 17, 2015 at 10:33 am

    @TaMara (BHF): They’re convinced that the only reason President Obama hasn’t been caught yet is because of a conspiracy to keep his many misdeeds hidden by the liberal media. But they just know nefarious things have happened and they don’t feel stupid at all. The rest of us are deluded steeple.

  26. 26.

    ThresherK

    December 17, 2015 at 10:33 am

    When did they get Sunny?

    We were looking at the too-adorable-for-words Obama family card and neither my wife nor I could come up with the name of the second dog.

  27. 27.

    Lucy2Shoes

    December 17, 2015 at 10:38 am

    I really hope Obummer will accept a spot on SCOTUS eventually – just to watch the heads a-splode!

  28. 28.

    Hal

    December 17, 2015 at 10:42 am

    Given the size of the White House and all those different scents coming and going, I can believe the dog might let one loose every once in awhile.

  29. 29.

    bemused

    December 17, 2015 at 10:43 am

    @Betty Cracker:

    This.

  30. 30.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 10:43 am

    You go to war with the objet d’outrage you have, not the objet d’outrage you want to have.

  31. 31.

    Rommie

    December 17, 2015 at 10:43 am

    The thing that gets me is just how TerribleAwfulHorrible things have been since January 20, 2009 on the other side of the fence. I mean, in their eyes it’s been nothing but Disaster-ville since then. And it’s a self-evident truth – Everything Sucks.

    We all kinda laughed about how electing Obama as President would bring out the crazy. Well, it did, and it’s gone past ha-ha crazy into scary-crazy. You can’t under-estimate how bad things are from their point of view.

  32. 32.

    BGinCHI

    December 17, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Well at least the Obamas aren’t shitting in the WH.

    Wait.

    WHAT?

  33. 33.

    dlm

    December 17, 2015 at 10:49 am

    So a dog has an occasional accident on the floor of the White House. The Republicans are always shitting their pants over something.

  34. 34.

    Cacti

    December 17, 2015 at 10:49 am

    Word around the campfire is that President Obama fathered not just one but TWO black children.

    I’m going to faint now.

  35. 35.

    amk

    December 17, 2015 at 10:49 am

    If we are going to be talking about rethugs’ racist hatredism, we are gonna be here all night.

  36. 36.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 10:52 am

    Rhyming news! Poot-poot-Pootie kissed Donald back! a ‘very bright and talented man’

  37. 37.

    Jerry

    December 17, 2015 at 10:54 am

    When your life (or your fundraising scheme) is driven by Cleek’s Law, every single day of the present Administration brings a set of fresh ‘n new outrages. Every. Single. Day. Isn’t this a great time to be alive when your whole life/bank account revolves around impotent rage? You just know that when they get into the voting booth and draw that curtain to a close by behind them, they pull that lever for the Democratic candidate.

  38. 38.

    Bill Arnold

    December 17, 2015 at 10:55 am

    @Satby:

    But they just know nefarious things have happened and they don’t feel stupid at all. The rest of us are deluded steeple.

    I am so looking forward to B. Obama’s memoirs of his time as POTUS.
    ASAP. Please. :-)

  39. 39.

    MomSense

    December 17, 2015 at 11:03 am

    @ThresherK:

    I can’t remember when but I do remember there was another wingnut cracking about the Obamas getting another black dog. Proof they hate all things white dontcha know.

    The card is really cute. I’ve saved all of their cards.

  40. 40.

    ET

    December 17, 2015 at 11:03 am

    OT and speaking of shit…. I see that the Donald has won the all important “endorsement” of Putin. Used to be that “endorsement” from a leader of Russia/USSR would doom a presidential candidate in the US.

  41. 41.

    maya

    December 17, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Trump will now loudly proclaim that, on DAY ONE, he will change the WH toilet seats.
    That should seal it. O, and that Putin endorsement.

  42. 42.

    Jeffro

    December 17, 2015 at 11:09 am

    @Jerry:

    When your life (or your fundraising scheme) is driven by Cleek’s Law, every single day of the present Administration brings a set of fresh ‘n new outrages. Every. Single. Day.

    It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t such a waste…but then again, it’s their lives. If they want to fritter it away in impotent rage, that’s up to them. I tell wingnut friends and relatives that directly nowadays, in the hopes of one day getting just one of them to have an epiphany and get on with living.

  43. 43.

    gene108

    December 17, 2015 at 11:10 am

    @TaMara (BHF):

    What is really twisting their knickers is that we are coming up on the last year of the presidency without any real scandal and what is looking to be a very successful two terms. And they all look stupid and are mocked for their various conspiracy theories over the years, up to and including he should be impeached for doing blow in the presidential limo.

    This is causing heads to explode.

    No Democratic President has had a real scandal in my lifetime.

    Carter, Clinton and Obama have never abused the power of the Office, in any way, shape or form like Republicans have done over the years, with Watergate, Iran-Contra and the entire Bush, Jr. Presidency.

    The problem for Republicans is unlike Clinton the manufactured fake scandals just do not stick to Obama. Even the crazy rumor mongering doesn’t stick. The stories, such as Bill delaying traffic at LAX for hours to get a $400 haircut on Air Force One are able to get shot down quickly because you can get info so much faster now, so they don’t make it into the New York Times and other major publications. Those rumors just wander around the Wingnut-o-sphere.

    They tried to manufacture scandal after scandal, such as Fast and Furious, Benghazi etc., but nothing took on legs like Whitewater or even Travelgate did, 20+ years ago.

    Must drive Republicans crazy that their bag of dirty tricks isn’t working as well as intended.

  44. 44.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 11:13 am

    Aside from the racist BS, and aside from the plain fact that the Obamas gets bashed for doing the same stuff that previous presidents and their families have done, this continues a historical trend. The first president who was regularly blasted for being trash and for bringing the wrong sort of people to the White House (and for being the wrong kind of person to be president) was Andrew Jackson.

  45. 45.

    J R in WV

    December 17, 2015 at 11:14 am

    I can’t get over the ludicrous things racists will believe about Harvard educated lawyers and professors who grew up in perfectly normal places like Hawai’i and abroad. I’ve been abroad, and it was completely normal, even in Basque country. The sheep and cows were in the fields and the implements of the Spanish Inquisition were removed from the church basements into a display where people could get a tour for 5 Euros. We declined.

    Of all the flagrantly stupid racist things that have been imposed upon even the non-racist among us, I can’t even pick the most stupid, although this exercise comes close.

  46. 46.

    rea

    December 17, 2015 at 11:14 am

    Oh, god, another Republican-manufactured dog scandal:

    These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don’t resent attacks, and my family don’t resent attacks, but Fala does resent them. You know, Fala is Scotch, and being a Scottie, as soon as he learned that the Republican fiction writers in Congress and out had concocted a story that I’d left him behind on an Aleutian island and had sent a destroyer back to find him—at a cost to the taxpayers of two or three, or eight or twenty million dollars—his Scotch soul was furious. He has not been the same dog since. I am accustomed to hearing malicious falsehoods about myself … But I think I have a right to resent, to object, to libelous statements about my dog.

  47. 47.

    Peale

    December 17, 2015 at 11:17 am

    @ET: It probably should still be. Russia is an adversary. I don’t think Putin has the best interests of the American public at heart when he selects his preferred candidate.

  48. 48.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 11:20 am

    @Peale: Still, you can see why Putin would admire Trump and vice-versa. They’re two peas in a pod.

  49. 49.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 17, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Axial tilt is the reason for the season.

  50. 50.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 11:26 am

    @Brachiator: I’m still mad about that bodacious kegger he threw that I wasn’t invited to because I wasn’t alive!! Jackson!!!

  51. 51.

    ET

    December 17, 2015 at 11:27 am

    @Peale: What is so weird is that this is a candidate for the GOP nomination and they are still hanging on to the anti-communist thing in 2015. Joseph McCarthy is rolling over in his grave with the way the GOP fangurl squeals over Putin.

  52. 52.

    Keith G

    December 17, 2015 at 11:28 am

    That’s what they get for having dogs. A return to having a First Cat would have been a preferable choice.

  53. 53.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 11:28 am

    @rea: He really, really enjoyed sticking it to them, didn’t he? What a president he was…

  54. 54.

    Comrade Dread

    December 17, 2015 at 11:28 am

    It really does astonish me that in 40 years the GOP has gone completely insane. I mean, they were always a bit unhinged and a tad racist, but they just took a running leap off the cliffs of insanity into the depths of the John Birch trench.

    I suppose there are still a few less crazy Republicans out there, but I suspect those are the sociopaths who spout the rhetoric so they can sell out to the highest bidder and cash in on the lunatics.

  55. 55.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 11:30 am

    @Keith G:

    That’s what they get for having dogs. A return to having a First Cat would have been a preferable choice.

    If you must have an animal, dogs are always preferable to cats.

  56. 56.

    Snarkworth

    December 17, 2015 at 11:30 am

    @Betty Cracker: They may be peas in a pod, but Putin has better abs.

  57. 57.

    Punchy

    December 17, 2015 at 11:35 am

    @srv: Mr. Carter needs to work in KS, where they passed a law explicitedly allowing public employees to conduct public business using private email not subject to FOIA requests. I shit you not.

    Of course, this law will be instantly repealed the minute a Dem stumbles into any govermental agency of note.

    ETA: just realized I am responding to a troll. My bad.

  58. 58.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 11:36 am

    @Paul in KY:

    I’m still mad about that bodacious kegger he threw that I wasn’t invited to because I wasn’t alive!! Jackson!!!

    You’re not far off about this.

    March 9, 1829:

    After Jackson’s swearing-in ceremony and address to Congress, the new president returned to the White House to meet and greet a flock of politicians, celebrities and citizens. Very shortly, the crowd swelled to more than 20,000, turning the usually dignified White House into a boisterous mob scene. Some guests stood on furniture in muddy shoes while others rummaged through rooms looking for the president–breaking dishes, crystal and grinding food into the carpet along the way. (White House staff reported the carpets smelled of cheese for months after the party.) In an attempt to draw partygoers out of the building, servants set up washtubs full of juice and whiskey on the White House lawn.

    Many prudes clutched their pearls and retreated to their fainting couches that day, a tradition that has intensified with the dopes who complain about Obama not being sufficiently dignified to be a resident of the White House.

  59. 59.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 11:44 am

    I am completely ignoring whatever the Republicans are doing instead I have immersed myself in Hindustan classical music, which I had previously dismissed as my parents music A truly syncretic effort by both Hindu and Muslim practitioners that really took off when much of India was ruled Muslim rulers. Devotional and romantic poetry is usually the subject matter.
    I am listening to a score of Marathi movie where the protagonists are singers competing to be the best court singer based on a musical written in 1967.

    I love this Qawwali duel, the singers are arguing about the nature of humanity and God, and it is set on the grounds of a mosque or a dargah (tomb of a saint). This is not a version of Islam that the Wahhabists would approve of, I think.

  60. 60.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 11:44 am

    @Keith G: As if! It would hork up hair balls on the Great National Seal rug and sharpen its claws on the Lincoln Bedposts!

  61. 61.

    brighidg

    December 17, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Sunny Obama might be my favorite Obama now. Sorry, Sasha. Sunny Obama 2016!

  62. 62.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 11:48 am

    @Brachiator: Them’s fighting words, cats rule, dog drool.

  63. 63.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 11:49 am

    @Betty Cracker: And knock over Churchill’s bust, which would give wingnuts a sad.

  64. 64.

    bemused

    December 17, 2015 at 11:54 am

    @rea:

    Hilarious. Proof that rightwingers have always been this pathetic and have never given up using the same old attack themes.

  65. 65.

    Anoniminous

    December 17, 2015 at 11:59 am

    O/T:

    Tennessee Schools Wins Right to Ban Women Who’ve Had Sex, Gays:

    A Tennessee university will be allowed to ban LGBTQ students and women who have had sex.

    IANAL so not a clue what a Title IX exemption is.

  66. 66.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    @Anoniminous: Why do man-sluts get a pass?

  67. 67.

    bemused

    December 17, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    @Anoniminous:

    What a surprise the “Christian” U didn’t include the male students the women had sex with!

  68. 68.

    Marmot

    December 17, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Ha! Betty you’re just the very best writer. Thanks once again.

  69. 69.

    Anoniminous

    December 17, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    @Betty Cracker & @bemused:

    Males having non-marital sex: crickets

    Women having non-marital sex: THE WHORE-SLUTS!!!

    If we’re being nice it’s called a Double Standard. If we’re not being nice it’s called Rank Hypocrisy.

  70. 70.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    @Anoniminous: How are they going to police this? Sounds ridiculous.

  71. 71.

    pamelabrown53

    December 17, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    @Betty Cracker:
    Plus, also, too: don’t forget the indignity of a litter box in the White House!

  72. 72.

    Comrade Dread

    December 17, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    @srv:

    I’d vote for a ‘briar patch’ gambit.

    “Oh, no, America, please do not elect Trump to be president. It would be awful for us. Truly we would quake in our boots at such great man… IVAN! STOP LAUGHING!… Please do not elect great man, Donald Trump, American comrades…”

  73. 73.

    MomSense

    December 17, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    @J R in WV:

    You have to admit that the cheese in Basque country is not normal. It is extraordinary and delicious.

  74. 74.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    @Brachiator: That’s the one I was thinking about!

  75. 75.

    Peale

    December 17, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Because we write the rules?

  76. 76.

    Anoniminous

    December 17, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    It is ridiculous and blatantly sexist to boot.

    I guess they could ask the women on Monday mornings if they’ve done the nasty no-no with their lady parts over the weekend and since lying is a sin it would all come out.

    Imputing “reasons” or even “thought” to these people starts off assuming Facts Not in Evidence as the writer Mark Noll put it, “The scandal of the evangelical mind is that there is not much of an evangelical mind.”

  77. 77.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    @Anoniminous: Boy, the guys at that college will be real happy about the new gender breakdown of 80% guys/20% girls. The girls will always feel like they’re being watched.

    When I was in USAF, one of my female airmen was musing about the gender disparity in USAF (circa 1984). I was thinking it must be great for her & she disabused me of that notion. Said something like ‘how would you like to go into the Club and all of a sudden everyone is watching you, all the time…’

  78. 78.

    trollhattan

    December 17, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    @Anoniminous:
    Taliban in our midst.

  79. 79.

    Peale

    December 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: It doesn’t sound like they are going to actively police this. They appear to want it to establish their christian identity – which is ChrsitSpeak for “Brand Image”.

  80. 80.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    @srv: Good trolling there by Comrade Putin.

  81. 81.

    Fester Addams

    December 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    PBO shouting at his dogs: “Sunny! Bo! No!”

  82. 82.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    @Anoniminous: Wonder what sort of policy this pious institution will have against the pedophile preachers and what will be the consequences for any possible adulterous members of the board? Oh! I forgot, Jebus dun forgives those righteous people, unlike those sluttish and sexually tainted others.

  83. 83.

    Peale

    December 17, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: Also you’re imagining that the kids aren’t already policed. My friends who went to evangelical colleges in the 80s still had dorm mothers for the girls and curfews. They boys were allowed to have cars but weren’t allowed to take them off campus without permission. To take a girl off campus with you required approval from the dorm mother.

  84. 84.

    benw

    December 17, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    @Anoniminous: why the hell are there women at the university anyway? Are they taking classes called “Cooking for Your Man 101” and “Barefoot and Pregnant: how to be Righteous in Modern America”?

  85. 85.

    AliceBlue

    December 17, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    Have these people never owned dogs? No matter how well housebroken they are, no matter how often you walk them, accidents happen.

  86. 86.

    Punchy

    December 17, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Boy, the guys at that college will be real happy about the new gender breakdown of 80% guys/20% girls.

    I was thinking the same thing. I was thinking more like 97% men, 2.9% women, 0.1% still-closeted b/c oh-so-close to graduation gheys.

  87. 87.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    @Peale: I did not go to an evangelical college so I had no idea. Staying away from religious nutbars of all stripes is my policy.

    Aruni Kirani is just awesome, it is the second last song in the YouTube jukebox link. I didn’t know that people could do that with their voice.

  88. 88.

    Calouste

    December 17, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    Best take on the Republican debate goes to The Borowitz Report:

    Chilling Video Terrifies Nation

    LAS VEGAS (The Borowitz Report)—Authorities were urging people to remain calm on Tuesday night after the broadcast of a chilling video that terrified millions.

    The video, which was broadcast nationally on CNN, appeared to show nine extremists glaring into the camera and making a series of escalating threats.

    The radicals’ increasingly violent rhetoric and palpable hatred rattled viewers across the nation, sources said.

    Experts who viewed the video acknowledged that the words and images contained in it were alarming, but advised the public to remain calm until the extremists’ threats could be authenticated.

    “At this point, there is no reason to believe that any of these individuals are credible,” one expert said.

    But such assurances did little to soothe viewers like Carol Foyler, of Kansas City, who watched the video in horror. “These people are clearly dangerous and must be stopped,” she said.

  89. 89.

    rikyrah

    December 17, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    Scott Walker signs bills dismantling GAB, overhauling campaign finance law

    Gov. Scott Walker has cemented key changes in time for the 2016 political campaign, signing into law bills giving campaign finance law its biggest makeover in decades and dismantling and replacing Wisconsin’s oversight board for elections and elected officials.

    Walker’s signing of the two bills, announced in a press release, was conducted in private Wednesday. It was widely expected after the bills passed the Legislature last month on votes that largely mirrored party lines.

    The campaign finance measure dials back restrictions on money flowing into state political campaigns, some of which had been struck down by court rulings.

    The signing of the measure dismantling the Government Accountability Board kicks off a six-month transition to new elections and ethics commissions that will succeed it on June 30.

    The GAB, made up of six nonpartisan former judges, oversees elections, campaign finance, ethics and lobbying. The bill replaces it with two separate elections and ethics commissions overseen by appointees, most of them partisans, made by legislative leaders and the governor.

    http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/govt-and-politics/scott-walker-signs-bills-dismantling-gab-overhauling-campaign-finance-law/article_1b7a6063-8e98-514b-bceb-269f21f44574.html

  90. 90.

    Elie

    December 17, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    It would, it would! (Hairball horking) And let us not forget taking about 5 seconds to climb the Christmas tree! Kittens are the worst — !

    I love kittehs but ANY animal, including birds and reptiles, have their issues in your home. Most of all, the wingnuts just have no humanity or sense of humor. Dogs and cats eat plants etc that make them sick and either urp them or poop them somewhere. Buddy (my cat) had a go at the nice poinsiettia I bought and proceeded to lay it on our nice cream colored living room rug. Most pet owners have a variety of “products” and tools for such events. No biggie and only resentful nincompoops make something out of this nothing…

  91. 91.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    @Calouste: Well done, Borowitz!

  92. 92.

    Hildebrand

    December 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Well, clearly the implication must be that women only have sex with folks who aren’t “real ‘Murican men.” ‘Real’ men are godly and only shtup their ever virginal wives who look exactly like June Cleaver. And they don’t enjoy said shtupping. Not at all.

  93. 93.

    tazj

    December 17, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Some conservatives love being angry scolds. Did Democrats get this angry about silly things when Bush was president? I didn’t vote for Bush but I didn’t dislike his family or his dog. Didn’t his staff do a Christmas video with his Scottish terrier every year?

  94. 94.

    Jeffro

    December 17, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    @Fester Addams: (turns to Michelle, sighs, and says, “Well, at least I’ve Got You Babe”)

    /rimshot

  95. 95.

    benw

    December 17, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    @tazj: I was too busy being angry about the wars, torture, Katrina, economic collapse, etc, to really give a shit about Bush’s dogs or exact locations of his lapel pins.

  96. 96.

    EdinNj

    December 17, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    @Paul in KY:

    My niece, a beautiful freshman math genius on full scholarship at Rensselaer, won’t go out to the local hangouts or fraternity parties because there are so few women. Says she gets way too much attention. It sounds like a humblebrag but she’s actually thinking about transferring to a school that is bigger and less specialized. She’s more of an introvert and not that interested in dating right now because of some health issues.

  97. 97.

    RaflW

    December 17, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    The beast has also been wielded as a weapon against white children by militant black nationalist Michelle Obama.

    Michelle has to correct her aim. She should unleash the poop-hound at garbage human* Elizabeth Harrington.

    *I typically can’t imagine calling anyone that, but since she clearly hates with vituperative vigor, I’m willing to mirror her vileness.

  98. 98.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    @EdinNj: Understand her concern. Sounds like transferring might be best. Best wishes!

  99. 99.

    Sad_Dem

    December 17, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    The comment sections remain steadfast–BHO is the worst president ever; he has brought ruin and catastrophe to the nation; he is incompetent; he is a cunning dictator; and on and on, tirelessly they post comments to stories about the weather and pie-eating contests that he has put us into greater debt than all previous presidents combined, that he is a Muslin, and that he wants real Americans to suffer. My question is, how many of these comments are paid for, how many are sincerely delusional, and how many are just bigoted lies?

  100. 100.

    RaflW

    December 17, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    @Snarkworth: “That pleated the panties of the Right for weeks.”

    I want to gold-plate this saying. Thank you for the laugh.
    It’s been a rough couple days up my way.

  101. 101.

    gogol's wife

    December 17, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    @amk:

    I was about to sit down to some much-needed paper-grading, and I see this post, and I just have to read the thread. The photo juxtaposition is brilliant in Betty’s post.

    I am so proud of our First Family, as never before in my life. I am dreading the next administration, which best-case scenario is the Clintons again.

  102. 102.

    Mnemosyne

    December 17, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    @Keith G:

    That’s what you think. Our oldest cat has recently earned himself the well-deserved nickname of “Mr. Poops By the Door.” The vet says there’s nothing physically wrong, so we suspect it’s a power struggle over the litter box between him and Charlotte.

  103. 103.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    @benw: That’s what I was thinking!!

  104. 104.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 17, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Lincoln’s kid rode a wagon pulled by goats through the White House. I think the republic will survive.

    Counting down the hours. Approximately six until I see the force awaken with the offspring.

  105. 105.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne: He would earn the name ‘Mr. Poops Outside, cause That’s Where He is’, if he were under the hegemony of Paul in KY.

  106. 106.

    a different chris

    December 17, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    @Sad_Dem: He’s also a feckless lazy incompetent coward who has, somehow, destroyed the greatest, most powerful nation the world has ever known.

  107. 107.

    Mike J

    December 17, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    A <a href="http://www.chelseafc.com/news/latest-news/2015/12/club-statement.html"tough week for the Portuguese, even the non water dogs.

  108. 108.

    Germy

    December 17, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Fiorina says dogs are better than cats?

  109. 109.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    I remember W looking for WMD under the White House desk… After a war that they lied us into… With how many crippled or dead… With the region presently destabilized and the refugees thereof…

    And I think wingnut priorities are incredibly misplaced.

  110. 110.

    Gimlet

    December 17, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    By Andy Borowitz

    Minutes after Shkreli’s arrest on charges of securities fraud, Shkreli’s attorney announced that he was hiking his rate from twelve hundred dollars an hour to sixty thousand dollars.

  111. 111.

    Germy

    December 17, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Obama’s anti-american!

    youtube told me so…

  112. 112.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    @Bobby Thomson: I’m so looking forward to seeing that with my offspring too, but we’re going to wait until the furor dies down a bit. Neither of us is fond of crowds.

  113. 113.

    Cermet

    December 17, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    There was a republican pol in some State when President Obama was first elected and he remarked that the White House could no longer be called the “White House;” and he was right – I took it as he was saying that previously, only white men occupied it, and now that wasn’t true. Not really trying to be mean but just pointing out that at long last, a non-white was elected President. The man did apologize but I really didn’t take his joke as being an attempt to put anyone down but that he felt this was proof that finally we had, as a country, changed some for the better.

  114. 114.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 17, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    @Betty Cracker: They have dicks. Dicks always get a pass when Christianist scum are involved.

  115. 115.

    Shell

    December 17, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    And Socks probably shredded a roll of toilet paper in The Lincoln Bedrooms bathroom. Thats probably the real reason why they impeached Clinton.

  116. 116.

    Mnemosyne

    December 17, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    @Paul in KY:

    We live in an urban apartment, so there’s no safe outside place for him. We have to negotiate the personalities instead.

  117. 117.

    KS in MA

    December 17, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    @rea:

    Priceless.

  118. 118.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    @gogol’s wife: I’ll miss the Obamas too when PBO’s term is up, but I think a Hillary Clinton administration would offer its own fun, such as wingnut consternation about lady-cooties all over the Oval Office, stormy national debates about hairbands vs. scrunchies, Zapruder film-level analysis of HRC’s saluting technique, etc. Oh wait…

  119. 119.

    Shell

    December 17, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    And by the way, w ho the hell is Elizabeth Harrington.

  120. 120.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 17, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    @Anoniminous: Rank Hypocrisy is what Christianists excel at.

  121. 121.

    Mike J

    December 17, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    A tough week to be Portuguese, even if you aren’t a water dog.

  122. 122.

    Germy

    December 17, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    @Shell: I was going to ask the same question. Never heard of her. Is she a new generation Ann Coulter?

  123. 123.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    BTW, exactly who in the fuck is ‘Elizabeth Harrington’?! A harridan, for sure.

    Edit: See Shell beat me to it!

  124. 124.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    OT Huh. Apparently drunken 50mi+ Four-county highways shooting sprees (with two deaths) are nothing to get all in terror over in Oklahoma. Must just be boys being responsible boys. Funny too how there were no good men with guns anywhere along the vicinity.

  125. 125.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Think you had mentioned that before. Forget that not all live in houses, with private yards, etc.

    Nevermind. Give him a scritch for me.

  126. 126.

    PurpleGirl

    December 17, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Thinking like Jackson Galaxy…. Can you add another litter box, so each cat has its own box? (I’m about to leave the house and I’ll be out several hours, so i won’t be answering your answer) (BTW for those unfamiliar with him, Jackson Galaxy is a cat behavorist who has a TV show My Cat From Hell.)

  127. 127.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Not just Christians, those who make a huge a showing of their religiosity and piety are usually the biggest hypocrites and judgmental to boot.

  128. 128.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    @scav: You can assume he is white, as he drove down the highway trying to murder people (killing two) and he was taken into custody, apparently unharmed.

  129. 129.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    @PurpleGirl: ‘Jackson Galaxy’?! that’s his name! Sounds like something out of Buckaroo Banzai! If you came up with that name, your agent would say it was too cheesy.

  130. 130.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    @Paul in KY: Oh yeah. Haven’t even committed to it being road rage yet. Let alone leaked any former police record.

    ETA: Seriously, NYT (so no link) says he was charged with DUI.
    ETA2: because they have to think carefully about what might have caused those two people’s deaths?

  131. 131.

    Jamey

    December 17, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Is no “poopgate”; is “Dunghazi.”

  132. 132.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    @Peale:

    To take a girl off campus with you required approval from the dorm mother.

    There is also a chance of the obvious: threesome with the girl and the dorm mother. Make a great movie, “American Pie XX.”

  133. 133.

    JustRuss

    December 17, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    @MomSense:

    I can’t remember when but I do remember there was another wingnut cracking about the Obamas getting another black dog.

    I have to admit, Obama getting a black dog was some eleven-dimensional wingnut trolling. The man truly has game.

  134. 134.

    The Pale Scot

    December 17, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    @dmsilev:

    one of Bush’s dogs tried to bite a White House reporter,

    Scotties aren’t goofy golden retrievers, They have very victorian attitudes toward social interactions. You wave and get their attention, then offer a hand to let them smell you. What happens next is usually about how their human feels about you.

    My guy would not stay in the same room with a friend of my father’s who was at that time a correctional officer. The guy loves dogs and was pretty disappointed about all. No matter what he did Himself would have nothing to do with him.

    Dad didn’t understand it, I pointed out that the friend was a CO who spent his days controlling others, T wouldn’t be down with that, he could sense that the guy was an authoritarian.

  135. 135.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    @Brachiator: If you must have an animal, dogs are always preferable to cats.

    Bull! She said politely. For instance, cats can be outrageously spoiled, which is what I like in a pet.

    The difference between dogs and cats

  136. 136.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    @WereBear:

    Bull! She said politely. For instance, cats can be outrageously spoiled, which is what I like in a pet.

    I tease. I am officially neutral in any dogs v cats debate.

  137. 137.

    Redshift

    December 17, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    @JustRuss:

    I have to admit, Obama getting a black dog was some eleven-dimensional wingnut trolling. The man truly has game.

    Even better, Bo is partly black and partly white, and Sunny is all black.

  138. 138.

    The Pale Scot

    December 17, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I love this Qawwali duel, the singers are arguing about the nature of humanity and God,

    Cool, I been listening to Tinariwen, (Tuareg rebel music) lately

    Short version, Wahhabbi = Calvinism, both are abominations.

  139. 139.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    @scav: I guess if he hadn’t been drinking, he would have been charged with careless use of firearm or hunting without a license.

  140. 140.

    a different chris

    December 17, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    @Brachiator: Cats think they are equal to humans, dogs eat their own shit. Both sides!!

  141. 141.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    @Brachiator: I always stick up for cats! Of course. :)

  142. 142.

    Mnemosyne

    December 17, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    That’s my preferred solution, but G refuses, and he’s the chief poop-scooper around here. I am looking forward to a wifely “I told you so” when he finally breaks down and takes my advice.

  143. 143.

    scav

    December 17, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    @Paul in KY: Speeding. Can’t involve the firearm whatsoever.

  144. 144.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I am looking forward to a wifely “I told you so” when he finally breaks down and takes my advice.

    Mmmm, that has a fine savory flavor! I got that when we finally got a cat tree for our part-monkey foster kitten, a few months overdue.

  145. 145.

    Betty Cracker

    December 17, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    @a different chris: They both lick their own assholes.

  146. 146.

    proterozoic

    December 17, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Pfft, and I thought they were supposed to be sharp.

    The dog’s name is Sunny… as in SUNNI. GAME’S UP OBAMA, WE KNOW YOU GOT YOUR MUSLIM DOG TO SHIT ALL OVER AMERICA ON PURPOSE

  147. 147.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    @a different chris: Equal? Bosscat thinks we are born to serve him.

  148. 148.

    D58826

    December 17, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    refusing to put his hand over his heart during the pledge of allegiance,

    . I thought I saw a photo of Trump not putting his hand over his heart during the pledge before the debate on Tuesday. By all rights the other 8 on the stage should have beaten his unpatriotic butt into the ground. Of course some will say that should happen regardless of what he does during the pledge.a

  149. 149.

    Amir Khalid

    December 17, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    @Mike J:
    What he did to Chelsea’s first-team doctor in the first match of the season was, all by itself, grounds for sacking him.

  150. 150.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    @scav: Duh!! What was I thinking?! Oklahoma (for people who think Kansas is too edgy)…

  151. 151.

    Paul in KY

    December 17, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    @proterozoic: That will show up in Wingnutland, I’m sure of it.

  152. 152.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    December 17, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    @The Pale Scot: I had always heard that small dog breeds are.tempermentally more one-person and possessive than the goofy Retrievers. Or large mutt mixes in general.

  153. 153.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I love this Qawwali duel, the singers are arguing about the nature of humanity and God, and it is set on the grounds of a mosque or a dargah (tomb of a saint). This is not a version of Islam that the Wahhabists would approve of, I think.

    Popped over from your link to this one from Bajirao Mastani.

    Quite a dance

    And Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra are quite delightful.

  154. 154.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    @Fester Addams:

    @proterozoic:

    PBO shouting at his dogs: “Sunny! Bo! No!”

    Sonny and Cher (Sunny and Shi’a) were the original stealth Mooslems.

  155. 155.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 17, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    @PurpleGirl: Every time I see that guy I think he’s a character being played by Dave Cross.

  156. 156.

    J R in WV

    December 17, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    @MomSense:

    It’s true. Every bar in Spain and France has great food, if they serve anything at all. The only exception was in Bilbao we visited a bar the specialized in “American” food, hamburgers, fries, beer. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t up the the local standards at all. And the signs usually say “BAR” !

    Fresh anchovies (no salt!) with peppers, cheese and swimming in fresh local olive oil. Meat, smoked and cured, hanging from the ceiling, hams and sausages, sliced paper thin and wrapped around a pepper with cheese.

    Great food of every sort. Good beer, good wine, a great trip surrounded by friendly people. Except for two elderly women the wife spoke to, she didn’t speak their language with the traditional respect they expected… so sad.

  157. 157.

    tazj

    December 17, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    @benw: Well, I’ve been a Democrat all my life but my daughter died in March 2003 and my nephew was in also Iraq. So, I had other things on my mind at the time as well.

  158. 158.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    @Brachiator: Priyanka Chopra is awesome. I just discovered that she had done a biopic on an Indian boxer from Eastern India.

    Here she is in Mary Kom.

  159. 159.

    PurpleGirl

    December 17, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    @Matt McIrvin: He is a character. But I’ve come to appreciate how he loves cats and works with them and their humans. I’d love to know the story behind his name.

  160. 160.

    Patricia Kayden

    December 17, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    It is a bit strange that Bo and Sunny are still pooping inside the house well after you’d expect them to be potty trained, but that has nothing to do with POTUS or FLOTUS being liberal.

    May the wingnut suffering continue for years to come (Go Hilary!!).

  161. 161.

    Brachiator

    December 17, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Priyanka Chopra is awesome. I just discovered that she had done a biopic on an Indian boxer from Eastern India.

    This actually makes some sense. She is good and believable in the action scenes in the tv series “Quantico.”

  162. 162.

    tones

    December 17, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    @benw: Amen, when Bush “was” president we had real crimes and treason and war crimes and violations of international law and crimes against humanity to worry about -no time for petty personal attacks.
    Maybe someday we will have a real government and the criminals will no longer be rewarded.

  163. 163.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 17, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    @Brachiator: Here is a review I wrote about that song. I was perhaps being too harsh, I don’t mind it that much now but its still not my favorite in the score.

  164. 164.

    Steeplejack

    December 17, 2015 at 11:47 pm

    @Satby:

    The rest of us are deluded steeple.

    Hey, hey, hey. Hey. I resent that remark.

  165. 165.

    PatrickG

    December 18, 2015 at 2:28 am

    Betty Cracker,

    For whatever myopic personal reasons, I don’t think I really ever got just how dramatic the rainbow White House was.

    Thank you, for driving home the fact of WOW! That mattered! The freakin’ President of these United States gayed up the White House. And he did it after stealing the election while being black/half-black/Muslim/Kenyan/communist/socialist/Nazi/coming for our guns/terrorizing Texas with Jade Helm, at that! I now fully understand just how many brains exploded that day.

    I think I’ll curl up with a good bottle of wingnut tears before bed, and send good thoughts your way.

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