Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Sore Loser Open Thread: After Him, the Deluge…

Sore Loser Open Thread: After Him, the Deluge…

by | 57 Comments

This post is in: , ,

… of pissed pants (which is hardly what the original speaker had in mind). Jonah Goldberg, Doughy Pantload, laments in the NYPost…

… Only one candidate can unite us all in a way George W. Bush and Barack H. Obama could not. You’ve probably already guessed who I have in mind. But just in case you haven’t, it’s the Sweet Meteor O’Death, or, as he’s known on Twitter, @Smod2016.

I shouldn’t call SMOD a “he,” for as an inanimate hunk of ice and rock hurling toward our planet, SMOD has no sex. (In these gender-confused times, that in itself should be a selling point.)

Hate the “1 percent”? SMOD will erase all income inequality. Under SMOD, America will have no industrial carbon emissions, and the Islamic State will be crushed. Hateful speech will be silenced, and no gay wedding cakes will be baked. SMOD has no super PAC and takes no money from unions. SMOD already has the only endorsement it requires: the impersonal law of gravity…

Thought it might cheer y’all up to know that the Wingnut Welfare parasites are already bemoaning the sad fate of their mighty bench. And I’m hoping at least some of the True Believers ding the Pantload for mouthing the Liebral Line on the so-called “law” of gravity, which is only a theory!!!…

Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    jeffreyw

    If Fox Fucking News wasn’t actively dividing the country a President might be able to unite us. Alas, they make more money stirring shit and then selling explanations as to why the stink is so bad.

  2. 2.

    Germy

    When I assume the Presidency all of you will die and I will merge with Earth’s molten core.

    It’s hard to resist a campaign slogan like that. If Baud can’t top it, I may find myself in the SMOD camp after all…

  3. 3.

    redshirt

    Earth’s core likely contains the core of another planet which smacked into us 4 billion or so years ago and in so doing created the Moon. And our awesome magnetic field.

  6. 6.

    Germy

    I’ll contribute to SMOD’s campaign in the sweet knowledge that after I send my check I will perish along with the rest of humanity.

  7. 7.

    Gimlet

    What do you think, valid or BS?

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-islamic-state-documents-idUSKBN0U805R20151225

    Islamic State has sanctioned the harvesting of human organs in a previously undisclosed ruling by the group’s Islamic scholars, raising concerns that the violent extremist group may be trafficking in body parts.

    The ruling, contained in a January 31, 2015 document reviewed by Reuters, says taking organs from a living captive to save a Muslim’s life, even if it is fatal for the captive, is permissible.

    The document does not offer any proof that Islamic State actually engages in organ harvesting or organ trafficking. But it does provide religious sanction for doing so under the group’s harsh interpretation of Islam

    The ruling on organ harvesting cites Islamic texts, principles and laws that it says support what it calls “the notion that transplanting healthy organs into a Muslim person’s body in order to save the latter’s life or replace a damaged organ with it is permissible.”

    Senior U.S. officials, including McGurk, said they have not been able to ascertain whether the Islamic State had followed through on the fatwa on organ harvesting.

    The document provides “a religious justification for harnessing the organs of what they call infidels,” he said.

    Reuters couldn’t independently confirm the authenticity of the document. U.S. officials say it was among a trove of data and other information obtained by U.S. special forces in a raid in eastern Syria in May.

  8. 8.

    Germy


    The Smod Doctrine:
    1. Peace thru strength
    2. Leadership
    3. Exterminate all life except sulfur-oxidizing bacteria in deep sea thermal vents.

    Okay, my checkbook is out. What is the maximum I can contribute?

  9. 9.

    J R in WV

    SMOD is on his own as far as we’re concerned. We’ll drink all the potables and watch with bleary eyes whatever happens. Can’t be that much worse than the nuclear death we all anticipated when we were youngsters.

    Duck and Cover, kids!! There’s plenty of crackers and drinking water in the YMCA basement! Probably still there, more stale now, tho.

    Went to call my brother, his phone was disconnected – hope the email still works. TX is too far away for me to go looking for him…

  10. 10.

    Anne Laurie

    @Gimlet: I think it’s easy for a fanatic with a rulebook (religious or otherwise) to entertain his fellows endlessly with it-could-totally-happen theories. “The Koran says we could totally cut the beating heart out of a living infidel in order to save a dying Muslim!”

    Or “If there were a nuclear bomb on a timer hidden in Los Angeles, then George Bush Jack Bauer would totally have the right to torture the terr’ists what put it there!”

    And some time later, the Other Team’s cheerleader/apologists will come poking through the (sometimes still smoking) archives, hold up their trophy, and announce to the world “YOU SEE WHAT KIND OF VILE BARBARIANS THESE PEOPLE ARE?!? No wonder we’re forced to blow them all to hell!”

    Shorter: War propaganda is war propaganda.

  12. 12.

    jl

    I almost ate myself to death at Christmas parties over the last two days. So, I am just happy to be here.
    I am now able to move slowly to the old computer and rev it up.I’ll get more ambitious later and go for a walk.

    Heard a news report that majority opinion is that 2015 is worse than 2014. Sorry everyone is so bummed.
    I don’t see it. Seems like a fairly good year. Even on terrorism, if this year seemed bad, then I put that down to poor memories and short attention span. Sure, a particularly nasty and PR-savvy group grabbed headlines, but in terms of total death and destruction, not a bad year.

    And ended with another victory against ISIS/ISIL/Daesh:

    Kurds, Arabs seize key Syria dam from IS: group
    http://news.yahoo.com/kurds-arabs-seize-key-syria-dam-group-165920684.html

    Of course, the last youtube clip I watched before diving into mass feast frenzy was aome slob on CNN yelling at Sanders that nothing was happening against Deash, Kurds and Arabs won’t do anything, it is all a big failure, and hopeless unless the US did something big all by itself in its big boy pants. Shock and Awe!

    So, my instinct is to attribute the mass gloom to our miserably failed experiment in corporate media snot nosed punk hackdom. Happy New Year is next! I am skipping the year end round ups in the media, since I want my drinking to say recreational and moderate and pleasant.

  15. 15.

    Gin & Tonic

    To those of us conversant in languages using the Cyrillic alphabet, that faux-Russian like in the top image looks really, really stupid. And unfunny.

  17. 17.

    pea

    “When the Rapture comes, I will depart the Earth”.
    and then dear, SM, there may be room for the rest of us.

  23. 23.

    The Republic, Blah Blah Blah...

    @Gimlet: @Anne Laurie:

    Well, pppshaw… that time-honored classic goes back at least as far as WW I…

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the Romans were saying similar things about the Gauls… and vice versa…

    Gauls might have been telling the truth, come to think about it…

  25. 25.

    jl

    @Gimlet: If the heart passed through enough amoral soulless corporate shells before being condemned to imprisonment inside Cheney, it is purged of any taint. Everyone knows that.

  27. 27.

    Lee

    Tornado sirens going off in my location (North Texas).

    Checking radar it doesn’t look like that big of a cell.

  28. 28.

    Gin & Tonic

    @J R in WV: It took me a long time to figure out “comrades”, I think in part because that second letter, Ф, is phonetically an English “F”.

    Note I didn’t say it was offensive, just that it looks stupid, sort of like 1337-speak.

  30. 30.

    Origuy

    @J R in WV: I’m not sure about offensive, but it does look stupid. The non-Latin letters don’t mean what they are used for. Я is pronounced YA, Ш is SHA, etc.

  33. 33.

    jl

    @Origuy: I think it doesn’t work well, even for people who don’t know how the Cyrillic letters sound because the nonsense letter combos don’t give the impression of anything that has ever been written in Russian. It just doesn’t look right. Whoever does the Wonkette joke Russian does a better job, but been so long since I studied the language, I am probably not the best judge.

    Anyway, it is about time for another BJ blog ethics scandal. This is an outrage!

  34. 34.

    ThresherK

    I am fascinated to see how the Connecticut media ignore and handwave away tackle this story. The couple of places I imagine actually digging in are the New Haven Independent and the local programs on CT Public Radio.

  35. 35.

    Baud

    I’ve been trying to paste some Russian text but FYWP isn’t letting me.

    скоро зима, товарищи

    ETA: FYWP.

  36. 36.

    pea

    ambivalence is grueling.
    i don’t like humans…but i understand them.
    i love earth, i hate what’s happening to it.
    destroying life doesn’t replace the love you didn’t get as a child.
    donald trump, martin shkrelli, henry kravis, george w. and Jeb! bush, rupert murdoch, mitt romney, roger ailes, et al.
    wielding power doesn’t doesn’t make you better or smarter than everyone if you’re an insensitive a hole.
    destroying the hands that feed you makes you more stupid than tape worms.

  44. 44.

    Shell

    Winter is coming, eh? Looks like HBO is running the entire series of Game of Thrones, right from the beginning. Does t he new season start up soon?

  48. 48.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @redshirt:
    I am totally cool with the sex metaphor. The problem is the implication that these sexx0rz are somehow bad. While a fling would have been the Earth’s own business and fine by me, it was actually a really deep relationship, they’re still together billions of years later, and their moon child is the best thing that has ever happened to our planet.

  50. 50.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @ThresherK: The Hartford Courant has run a story about it, among other things, pointing out that the reporter in the byline doesn’t seem to exist.

  51. 51.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Anne Laurie: @Gimlet: @Frankensteinbeck: @The Republic, Blah Blah Blah…: There’s several things at play here. The first is that Reuters couldn’t confirm the documents authenticity. This should be a big tell. Its also why raw intelligence – including captured source documents – shouldn’t be discussed. I have no doubt that the document says what it says. However, there’s no way of knowing if the fatwas were propogated/published even if they were drafted. Secondly, it is very, very clear that the Reuters reporter doesn’t really know anything about Islam. An apostate/munafakirun is one who has walked away from the religion. So any Sunni Muslim who is not subscribing to the Islamic State’s understanding of the unity of the Deity (tawheed). In other words the vast majority of Sunni Muslims. And McCants is quite correct that even if the Islamic State decided this was permitted, it cannot be substantiated by Islamic jurisprudence.

    A couple of caveats/thoughts on related items. The first is that the sexual slavery rulings can be justified, as abhorrent as that sounds, by going back to the rules that cover spoils of war (ghanima) or the spoils of raids against non Muslims. The second is that it is important to remember and keep in mind that why the Islamic State is trying to establish functioning and functional applications of their theology/doctrine, at its heart it is a theology and doctrine that is designed to consume itself and its adherents without a powerful check on it. The only reason that tawheed and its adherents are able to function in Saudi Arabia is that the Saudi monarchs have always demonstrated who was really in charge when necessary. Otherwise this is a theology/doctrine that quickly moves into the excessive application realm. And it does so by constantly narrowing who is and is not a true Muslim. At its heart it is a theology/doctrine that seems designed for constant inquisitions and purges; consuming itself and its followers in an ever escalating attempt to find even greater purity. And currently it is in the hands of some very, very angry, reactionary, and nihilistic men.

  53. 53.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Moreover, it appears that the guy who runs the group that Adelson put together to buy the Vegas paper, and who functions as the publisher of the paper in question in CT, has the same middle name as the fictitious journalists first name and that his mother’s maiden name is the fictitious journalists last name. While this is good ratfucking, its not very intelligence ratfucking. Especially as judges don’t like being screwed with by the defendants in the cases they are overseeing.

  54. 54.

    Central Planning

    Baud/SMOD 2016!

    Hmmm. FYIoS auto corrected Baud to Hand. Clearly, using my 1200 baud modem as a kid led to the carpal tunnel surgery on my hand. That’s almost like BO going back in time to get his birth certificate in Hawaii.

    And FYWP

  55. 55.

    redshirt

    In the years 2007 or so the company I was working for wanted to do business with Wal Mart and Wal Mart apparently wanted to do business with us. But they demanded the use of a 14.4K BAUD modem and only one model, which they happened to be the only ones to sell. Good racket. We didn’t bite and later got eaten by a larger company.

Comments are closed.