Dear Juicers,
Here’s to a healthier, kinder, and more environmentally sustainable 2016! Okay, let’s not talk about bacon or cheese. Let’s talk about chili, stir fries, and muffins. Below are five ridiculously easy things you can do to invisibly veganize your cuisine. By invisible I mean that, in a blind taste test, you wouldn’t know the dish is vegan.
1. Join Harvard, 7-Eleven, and many others and dump the mayonnaise: use Hampton Creek’s vegan Just Mayo instead. Winner of a Serious Eats blind taste test, it’s clearly freaking out Big Mayo (a.k.a., Unilever, maker of Hellmann’s/Best Foods), which stupidly sued teeny weeny Hampton Creek to try to force them to change the name—a move that epically backfired.
2. Replace eggs in baking and cooking with apple sauce, flax seeds, a banana, or one of these. If you want a twofer, also swap in nondairy milk for the dairy. And by the way, pancakes and waffles work just fine sans eggs—you don’t even need a substitute. (Add some nuts or vegan protein powder for more oomph.)
3. Try meat substitutes. Seriously, the new generation, like Gardein and Beyond Meat, is amazing: great taste, texture, and appearance; also, not too much salt and relatively straightforward ingredients. They are often soy- and gluten-free. The Clever Housewife did a blind taste test of Beyond Beefy Crumbles with her family and neither spousal unit nor child units noticed; and Bill Gates invested in Beyond Meat after he couldn’t tell the difference between the company’s chicken product and real chicken.
Most supermarkets now carry these products, so…check out our freezer! At the end of a busy day we pop one of these babies into a stir fry, chili, casserole, or sauce with a bunch of veggies, and we are there. Here’s a giant page of meat (and other) substitutes.
4. Swap out the superfluous. Many breads, snacks, condiments, and other packaged foods contain superfluous dairy or egg. Check out PETA’s ginormous list of “accidentally vegan” foods to see if there’s a swap you can make.
5. OMG, TRY THE DESSERTS. Vegan. Desserts. Rock. You get all the sweetness and flavor, with less grease and weight (and calories, cholesterol, etc.) That means you can eat more of them! Check out the vegan dessert page of Chloe Coscarelli, winner of Food Network’s Cupcake Wars; and non-bakers should know that you can buy premade vegan desserts at many supermarket bakeries. Also, there’s a lot of fabulous nondairy ice cream out there. My favorite brand is Coconut Bliss, and of course we’re all waiting to see what Ben & Jerry’s does with their new vegan line.
For more ideas, check out one of the bazillions of vegan cookbooks out there, or Google “vegan _____,” filling in the name of your favorite ingredient or dish. You will probably find some surprising equivalents. I once randomly (ahem) searched for “vegan Tootsie Rolls” and found that they exist in the form of TruJoy Choco chews. In the service of my cause (ahem), I did a taste test and found them to be good and true.
Speaking of cookbooks, allow me to introduce my friend and role model Mistress Ginger, author of one of my favorites, Mistress Ginger Cooks. Take it away, Mistress G, and on behalf of vegans everywhere thanks to our noble blogmeister John Cole for the invite. The Mistress and I will be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or just talk about all things vegan. – Hillary
Hello everyone! I’m honored to be offering my high-heeled brand of plant-based cookery to the Balloon Juice blog. Thanks for having me!
Here we are in the middle of winter, and to me that means comfort food, including moist and delicious baked goods.
Now, just because I’m a vegan showgirl doesn’t mean that I have to do without such decadent treats. Au contraire! At the same time, without anyone knowing it, I’m able to infuse these scrumptious morsels with some wholesome goodness. In the end, you get to satisfy your midwinter indulgence while meeting all of your New Year resolutions for a healthier you. Aren’t you a lucky duck?
I hope you enjoy my recipe for Blueberry Stud Muffins, straight from my cookbook. Be sure to try the variations, too, as we all need a little variety in our stud muffins, don’t we? – Mistress Ginger
Blueberry Stud Muffins
Yields 12 muffins
These delicately spiced pumpkin muffins are studded with dried blueberries. I encourage you to feed them to your personal entourage of stud muffins as part of a bountiful breakfast or midday snack. Try these muffins with a schmear of nondairy cream cheese for an especially luscious stud-muffin experience, something I’m always up for.
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
⅛ teaspoon ground cloves
⅛ teaspoon ground ginger
1 cup pumpkin purée
½ cup maple syrup
½ cup vanilla nondairy yogurt
⅓ cup canola oil
¼ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup dried blueberries
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly oil a twelve-cup muffin tin or line it with paper stud-muffin cups.
Put the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg, salt, cloves, and ginger in a medium bowl. Stir with a dry whisk until well combined.
Put the pumpkin purée, maple syrup, nondairy yogurt, oil, sugar, and vanilla extract in a large bowl. Stir with a whisk until well combined.
Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture and stir to combine. Fold in the blueberries.
Pour the batter into the prepared muffin cups, filling each cup completely.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean. Let the muffins rest in the muffin tin for about 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Blueberry Stud Muffins will stay fresh for up to 1 week when stored in a tightly sealed container in the refrigerator. Your personal entourage of stud muffins will stay fresh as long as they wear a good cruelty-free deodorant and bathe at least once a day. I’m prepared to assist with the bathing.
Per muffin: 209 calories, 3 g protein, 7 g fat (1 g sat), 35 g carbohydrates, 163 mg sodium, 122 mg calcium, 4 g fiber
Pumpkin-Raisin Stud Muffins: Imagine that you just ran out of dried blueberries but are dying for some hot stud–muffin action. Simply substitute the dried blueberries with ½ cup of raisins. Problem deliciously solved.
Chocolate Stud Muffins: What? You’ve never had a chocolate stud-muffin experience? Oh, darling, you’re missing out! Substitute the dried blueberries with ½ cup of nondairy semisweet chocolate chips and cross “chocolate stud-muffin experience” off your bucket list.
Mike J
Congrats to Piazza, New York Catcher and Junior.
Thoroughly Pizzled
Aw goody, fresh, um, tofu.
Ridnik Chrome
@Mike J: “The statue’s crying, too, and well he may…”
Ruviana
I’ve had Just Mayo and it’s just great but it’s also pretty spendy. I am glad to see it in my local stores (Wegman’s, Weis, Top’s in upstate NY) though.
NotMax
Happy it works for you, but –
Sorry, not my bag, so two thumbs down.
Any vegan meal have ever ventured to consume provided as much satisfaction as chomping down on a hologram of food. Tastebud-wise, there’s no there there.
YMMV.
Mike J
@Ridnik Chrome: Not my video, I just quickly looked for one that sounded decent after playing 10 seconds. Lyric videos on youtube aren’t the most reliable source.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I went vegetarian 22 years ago and I’m glad. Wouldn’t go back. Full Vegan would be difficult for me. Dairy makes up a lot of the calories, protein, etc in my diet. Of course there are workarounds if you make most of your own meals.
But I travel 200 days a year. Dinner tonight is in Queretaro MX and the vegan options are pretty scarce.
Still, these look like some pretty good things to try at home.
ETA: I am a Dietary Vegetarian, not a Political Vegetarian. Don’t care what anyone else eats. Enjoy.
Oregon Rose
I’ve never had Just Mayo, but Veganaise is delicious. I’ve been a mayo fan my entire life, but after I tasted Veganaise I switched because of flavor alone. My husband and best friend, both committed omnivores, now prefer it too.
J R in WV
What about Veganaise?
Had it while visiting a cousin who can’t keep Hellman’s around. She eats it with a spoon!!! ;-)
chopper
i’ll try making some scrambled apple sauce for breakfast tomorrow, but i’m skeptical.
Oregon Rose
Also, your muffins look wonderful!
chopper
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
vegan is easy for meals, less so for a whole day but still doable.
i think even for non-vegans it’s a good start. eating vegan one day a week isn’t bad at all.
the hard part about a vegan diet is getting a good deal of variety without spending lots on specialty stuff. the longest i was able to make it work was about 6 months, but i’m weak.
RSR
My homebrew club has served Beyond Meat at some BBQ events. (A friend of the club is involved in the company.) It’s gone over great, and that’s with some serious BBQ fans eating it.
JPL
@chopper: Good luck with that. Please let us know how it works out.
Mart
Wife and I are 20 year cheesatarians. Vegan about 25% of the time, trying to do better. I travel all the time and stipped trying for vegan unless talked the gang from steakhouse to oriental.
PurpleGirl
What does one do if you are sensitive to soy… within a half hour of eating things like tofu I have extremely bad intestinal problems. Same thing with beans.
Greg in PDX
I was dragged to a super upscale, super expensive vegan restaurant in NYC once. It was absolutely the most inedible meal I have ever had. I don’t eat much meat, and vegetarian cooking is great, but I am not giving up eggs, pasta, cheese, yogurt, or anything edible that makes life worth living.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Mart:
As a vegetarian who travels constantly I love steakhouses. They have the best selection of side dishes. Only place I can find more desirable options that I can eat. And the decor is usually super weird as a bonus.
dedc79
For those in the greater DC metropolitan area, check out Woodlands Vegan Bistro. They make delicious vegan soul food and have a brick and mortar cafeteria/restaurant in the Petworth neighborhood and a food truck as well.
Ruviana
Not everyone likes Indian food but a lot of it is vegan to fulfill Hindu dietary laws and a lot of it is incredibly delicious!
Roger Moore
@Mike J:
Sorry, but I’ll always remember him as a Dodger.
raven
@Roger Moore: I saw him get 6 hits in one game against the Dodgers in Chavez Ravine!
Emma
I’ve been revising my diet towards more vegetarian guidelines, and after a great deal of observation I’ve realized there are two things I won’t give up: eggs and fish. I also love Chinese and Indian food, both of which have incredibly good vegetarian dishes. I enjoy almond milk and rice milk, and although I like cheese a little bit goes a long way. If anyone knows of a good non-dairy ice-cream, I’d like to know.
Like UT up-thread this is for dietary reasons, not moral or political ones.
dedc79
@Roger Moore: Last I saw, he hasn’t revealed whether he’ll be in a Dodgers or Mets cap for the Hall of Fame.
JPL
@PurpleGirl: You can still work complete proteins in your diet with the use of nuts and a grain. I’m not a vegan but do try to introduce more meatless meals. I’m a great believer in moderation and buying locally. Fortunately, there is a farmer that delivers locally and I purchase my meat and eggs from him. My son drinks his milk, but I’m not ready to do that. Louis Pasteur did us a great service, imo.
raven
@raven: Sorry, 4 not 6.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
You need to try some of the Chinese Buddhist cooking, then. They make really delicious vegan dishes.
Hillary Rettig
@Ruviana: yes, hopefully when it sees wider distribution the price will drop a bit.
Archon
@Ruviana:
Agreed, I’ve considered going vegetarian and the only way I could imagine doing it is by eating a whole bunch of Indian food.
MazeDancer
Great taste, solid nutrition, and animal welfare top my list in choosing foods. Organic always. Fortunately, I live in blue, blue farmer’s market land, so it’s not hard to find good food at decent prices. But I am always interested in what other people do.
Alas, I’m allergic to soy and all legumes, and most nuts, so vegan not so feasible. However, I have searched out local dairies that don’t kill the calves or ship them off to veal pens at birth as most small and all big dairies do. So I can have cheese, milk and yogurt from them.
People that eat meat might want to consider that cheap prices are always a result of animal pain. Factory farming is animal abuse. I just can’t eat mammals. They have feelings, they have children they love, just can’t do it. But if you’re going to eat meat – and I eat local, happy life poultry – you might want to eat less and save your money to buy meat from an animal that had a great life, probably locally, and like Mark Bittman said had “one bad day”. You get great flavor, animal suffering decreases.
Actually, if you eat mammals, as explained to me by a local farmer, you should consider goat. Because chevre makers kill the boy billy goats at birth. But now there is a movement to take the billies, raise them happily, and yes, they die, but as humanely as possible, and the meat is sold and profits mean more billy goat boys aren’t killed.
And, yes, sadly, I gave up chevre with all the other cheeses made from cruelty-full milk. And I love chevre.
Hillary Rettig
@chopper: As it happens, I just had this for the first time tonight and it was amazing.
Hillary Rettig
@chopper: great point! even going semi-vegan will have a positive impact. btw check out the signatories here.
Mnemosyne
@PurpleGirl:
Have you looked into the possibility that you’re sensitive to FODMAPs? Beans and soy are both high in ogliosaccharides, which is the “O” in FODMAP.
PurpleGirl
@Mnemosyne: I thought about it but haven’t really looked into it. I also have to consider what foods will not raise my blood sugar.
Wilson Heath
Vegan spam? Dafuq?
Shell
What the heck is non-dairy yogurt?
*********************
Speaking of cheese, had a really nice variation on grilled cheese. Good sharp cheddar and roast ed red peppers minced up in the food processor. Add just enough mayo to make it spreadable. Assemble your sandwich , put it on the grill pan, weight it down and heat till all melty.
Hillary Rettig
@Greg in PDX: Weird – and I wonder if you caught them on an off night, or this happened a few years back. The food in the fancy vegan restaurants is amazing and getting better all the time. It’s where a lot of the culinary action and inventiveness is these days. The NY Times reviewer thought Candle 79 was great even for omnivores. But I’m glad you’re veg!
MazeDancer
@Shell:
Frequently, soy, almond, or coconut base cultured with same stuff as dairy yogurt. Often mixed with flavors, too. Health food store cold cases full of the stuff.
Hillary Rettig
@PurpleGirl: The Beyond Meat Beef Crumbles is soy free (made with pea protein). There are actually several options, as well as soy-free vegan cookbooks.
My partner – a.k.a., the one who cooks – made a soy free, gluten-free, nut free, AND vegan lasagna for the family holiday party. The nut free was actually the hard part b/c many vegan cheeses are made from nuts.
Mnemosyne
@PurpleGirl:
FODMAPs are chemically carbohydrates, so figuring out which ones you’re sensitive to might not have much effect on your blood sugar. Kate Scarlata is a registered dietician and probably the foremost expert on FODMAPs in the US, so you may want to check out her website.
I’ve been doing a half-assed elimination diet and it turns out that I’m way more sensitive to wheat and similar grains than I realized, which sucks. I’ve known for years that I was lactose intolerant but would still have weird digestive troubles, so FODMAPs explains a lot for me.
Big caveat: don’t try FODMAPs without first having your doctor check you for celiac and Crohn’s disease. The test for celiac requires that you still be eating gluten, so doing low-FODMAPs first could produce a false negative.
Hillary Rettig
@Emma: non dairy ice cream, as mentioned in the OP I LURVE Coconut Bliss (link in OP) and So Delicious’s Decadent line is also very good. Plus we’re all waiting on Ben & Jerry’s vegan line, which should be out soon.
Mnemosyne
@Hillary Rettig:
Myself, I can’t do peas — FODMAPs. Also a lot of common nuts like cashews are high in FODMAPs. And while I understand the ethical problems with eating animals and animal products, I have to think about my own health as well, selfish as that may seem.
Hillary Rettig
@srv: that looks amazing; will have to try it!
Luthe
As this is Balloon Juice and we love us some pets here, can you not link to PETA? Not only do they do a lot weird and extreme shit for their cause, they also kill a lot of animals.
Roger Moore
@raven:
I missed by one day seeing him hit the ball completely out of the stadium. I took my parents to see a game there and mentioned that Willie Stargell was (at that time) the only player to hit the ball completely out of the stadium, but that Piazza was the biggest threat to do so. The next day, he did.
JPL
@Shell: Well it’s not yogurt. I think we are flunking the point of the blog. I’m a believer in moderation and knowing the source of your produce, dairy and meat. The farmer cheese that I buy, is amazing.
Several years ago, the first time the soon to be daughter-in-law, dined with me at a fairly upscale restaurant, I pulled a Portlandia. This was years before the Portlandia chicken episode. As I quizzed the waiter about the meat and how it was raised, you could see my sons mouthing oh..shit. She still likes me btw.
Felonius Monk
@Hillary Rettig:
I’m sure it was. Made from cellulose, modified cellulose, and gellan gum (literally produced from pond scum) it must be a nutritional powerhouse.
Litlebritdifrnt
My reliably meat eating American husband has of late become really receptive to veggie options for lots of our meals. We regularly eat veggie versions of shepards pie, lasgana and burritos. I even made a veggie meat loaf a while ago and he loved it. The veggie substitute for ground beef is really hard to distinguish from the real stuff and means that you can cook just about anything that uses ground beef. As mentioned above Indian food is very often vegan and delicious and I remember with fondness the delicious meal I ate on Lantau Island at the Buddhist Monk restaurant.
Roger Moore
@dedc79:
The HOF makes the final decision, but Piazza has said in the past that he’d rather have a blank cap than a Dodgers’ one. I sympathize. The team burned through all the goodwill they had earned by badmouthing him in the press to justify trading him away.
Hillary Rettig
@Mnemosyne: honestly it doesn’t sound selfish, but I hope one day “society” and you can mutually come up with better options. you prob don’t remember but you helped me rescue a kitteh here a few years back. (me, a total dog person) so I know you care about critters.
schrodinger's cat
@Litlebritdifrnt: Most Indian vegetarians eat plenty of yogurt, they are not vegan.
Parmenides
I’m perfectly happy eating vegan food. But I absolutely hate the its just as good as the real thing vegan substitute. Take veganase, it has the look and some of the spread characteristics of a very firm mayonnaise, and none of the flavor nor mouthfeel. If what I want is mayonnaise then I am not going to eat it. Muffins made with apple sauce rather than eggs has a very difference texture than normal muffins.
Vegan stirfry’s, soups, curry’s, sauces and so on are perfectly fine and tasty. But stop trying to make vegan cheese, or vegan eggs, and so on, its like the uncanny valley of food.
Emma
@Hillary Rettig: And the Publix near my house carries the So Delicious line! Yes!
Litlebritdifrnt
Speaking of vegan Moby has just opened a vegan restaurant where all of the profits are going to Animal Welfare charities
http://www.upworthy.com/moby-is-taking-his-love-of-animals-to-a-whole-other-level-with-his-restaurant?c=utw1&utm_content=buffer8262d&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
schrodinger's cat
@Ruviana: Most Hindus actually do eat meat and most Indian vegetarians are not vegan, milk and milk products are an essential part of their diet.
JPL
@Hillary Rettig: How do you feel about local farmers? If you are a purist, what happens to all the cows, pigs and chickens? I understand that most are not treated humanely, but that is a different subject.
Hillary Rettig
@Felonius Monk: funny thing about “pond scum”…a lot of it is very healthy and the New Yorker recently ran an article about how it’s also sustainable and probably the Next Big Thing.
Hillary Rettig
@Litlebritdifrnt: kudos to you and hubby.
a coupla people have mentioned real Buddhist temple meals. we were in Japan last year and had some amazing ones.
also, since moving to the midwest (Kalamazoo) I’ve become a total mushroomphile, which has also worked out well vegan-wise. mushrooms are awesome whether or not you view them as a meat substitute.
Mnemosyne
@Hillary Rettig:
I do try to make ethical choices when I can, but my available choices are already limited, so I would have a really hard time limiting them even more.
The hardest thing to give up with FODMAPs was apples, because I LOVE apples. I’m still a little bitter, and hoping against hope that I can eventually add them back.
Hillary Rettig
@Parmenides: I could see someone seriously into a particular food sensing the difference. but again, i link to several blind tastes tests in my OP, so these swaps obviously work for many people.
beltane
@Parmenides: I agree. Furthermore, all these “substitutes” are lab concocted and factory produced. I’m not a big consumer of processed food, whether it is sold in the freezer aisle of the co-op or the supermarket.
Hillary Rettig
@JPL: Valid question. since I’m vegan I’m obviously against any form of animal farming, even small farming. Plus there are numerous reports that a lot of small farming is not as humane as people think. (James McWilliams reported on this in his book The Modern Savage.) Plus, honestly, there’s no way to “humanely” take a baby from its mother and also no such thing as humane slaughter (in part because animals meant for consumption aren’t allowed painkiillers).
The movie Cowspiracy makes the point – actually small meat farmers IN the movie themselves make the point – that small farming is less ecologically sustainable than factory farming which is, after all, designed to minimize inputs.
Hillary Rettig
@Mnemosyne: then I will hope with you. :-)
Hillary Rettig
@beltane: totally valid, and loads of vegans would agree with you. but I was going for “ease of use.” :-)
Southern Beale
@NotMax:
Yep. In my experience, anyone who tells me vegan tastes good is someone who hasn’t eaten the real thing in too long.
If that’s your bag, more power to you, but stop trying to shame the rest of us into following you.
schrodinger's cat
@beltane: Word. I am with Michael Pollan when he says eat food and not food like substances. This entire post has a whiff of cheerful proselytizing and sanctimony, the dietary version of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
impliedobserver
Great post. I read this site religiously and I’ve always found the juxtaposition of truly sincere animal lovers with recipes full of meat meat and more meat a bit perplexing. I personally hide my hypocrisy a bit more. By buying meat, we are almost certainly contributing to suffering.
JPL
@Hillary Rettig: The local farmer raises turkeys and the year before last there was a heavy rain and some turkeys were on a lower field. He ran out and tried to move them to an upper field but he lost a few and you would have thought they were his children. He has his masters in agriculture and is working the same farm that was in his family for over a hundred years. His organic practices have won awards. Sometimes he wants to walk away because it is hard work, but he also believes in it. Where you can really tell the difference is his pork and eggs.
also.. He did rent his corn fields out for one of the Hunger Games movie. Of course, he had no idea who Jennifer Lawrence was.
Parmenides
@Hillary Rettig: I’m not saying that everyone is going to notice these differences. I’m someone who will make mayonnaise because with a mixer its really easy. Egg yolk, oil, and lemon juice, its great. But the idea that taking animal products out of your diet is as easy as making some substitions rather than remaking what you eat to be food that happens to be vegan rather than vegan food. I used to make curries at a restaurant that were all vegan in their initial preparation until chicken or lamb was added when ordered. If you ordered a vegetable curry then you got a vegan curry. These involved no substitutions but instead just didn’t use anything that was made from animals and tasted damn good. (I did it cause we had a couple of customers who were vegan and came in for events). I don’t know it kind of reminds me of christian rock in that it doesn’t make Christianity better and makes rock worse.
Hillary Rettig
@Parmenides: I mostly agree with your point. Mostly because while rethinking vegan food from scratch (versus the substitutions) will, I’m sure, often result in a superior meal, not everyone has the time or talent to do that. And so for people like them / me the substitutions are a great option.
I know the OP makes it look like I eat packaged foods constantly,and I do eat a lot of them. But I also eat a lot of salads and veggies, and sometimes fresh fruit smoothies.
Ruviana
@Luthe: Yes, please. When I read the OP that did give me, ahem, pause.
TEL
@Luthe: I came in to ask the same thing. There’s very few organizations that I would bother to delurk to comment negatively about (well, a post about how wonderful the NRA is might also have this effect;-), but PETA is one of them.
Botsplainer
I don’t do substitution food prep, as the results generally suck and don’t taste like the real thing.
The thing I find most annoying about vegans is the proselytization about cooking that they prattle on about being “so good”, but which my palate finds pathetic, like a forgotten side dish. Give me the real thing…
Steve from Antioch
” Plus, honestly, there’s no way to “humanely” take a baby from its mother”
For fucks sake, do you think Walt Disney makes documentaries?
yes, if only animal babies could grow up with their animal mommies just like thy do without man’s interference. All the pretty little birdies in the nest sharing the yummy food that mommy bird brings them, right?
JPL
@Botsplainer: After all my talking about the local farmer, I will mention that if you are ever in the Atlanta area, eat at Cafe Sunflower. You won’t regret it.
Ruviana
I want to note that I liked this post precisely because to me it didn’t feel proselytizy and sanctimonious, though I sometimes I think just mentioning certain topics makes some people upset (meat privilege? I dunno.) I try to eat vegetarian though I’m mostly lacto/ovo both for dietary and political (animals mostly and also some sustainability issues) but I don’t generally care if most people don’t do it. I do know that dairy is widely used in a lot of Indian cooking.
The Other Chuck
@beltane:
Most meat-substitute products are seitan or tofu, and those predate any kind of factory farm, let alone these chemical labs you’re picturing. Frankly, if you don’t like “fake meat” don’t eat it; for others it helps them be vegan. Exercise your choices.
beltane
@Botsplainer: Calvinism infects every aspect of American life, thus we have the Damned and the Saved and the clean-eaters and the dirty-eaters. That $8 loaf of organic, sprouted rye bread baked by the wife of a gentleman farmer is a sign of virtue, of being in God’s grace.
I used to grow potatoes organically, picking off the potato beetles and their larvae off the plants by hand and depositing them in a bucket of hot, sudsy water. Every summer it was a veritable genocide of potato beetles, untold thousands of them left to suffer (they did suffer) and drown along with their offspring. For years I was like a Hitler to these creatures. The experience made me quite humble about the limits of ethics in food production or the production of just about anything else.
p.a.
Vegan desserts are generally excellent, unfortunately for me sugar (not just sucrose) is a main dietary issue. I haven’t tried vegan ‘substitute’ foods for years. I have to assume they’ve improved, but the baseline back then was pretty low. I’ll try some of the recommendations here. When they come up with vegan Gorgonzola I’ll be a happy camper.
schrodinger's cat
@Ruviana: I will give you some background to my irritation about this post.
Ever since Mr. Modi came to power in India, he has tried to foist his Gujarati upper caste Hindu/Jain choices on the rest of the country banning beef slaughter in state after state. Jains who are militant vegetarians have used their financial muscle to prevent people who they suspect of being meat eaters from renting in co-ops etc.Vegetarianism in India is product of caste privilege. One Muslim man was lynched in India on the suspicion that he had beef in his house just last year. Jains have prevented even the sale of eggs in a town in Gujarat.
I don’t need to be lectured cheerfully or otherwise about food choices.
Neldob
I walked precincts with a lady who had a bumper sticker that said “I think therefore I’m vegan” which I liked even though I’m not precisely vegan.
Oregon Rose
Hmm, unusual amounts of hostility on this thread. Wonder why?
Ripley
@schrodinger’s cat: As does your reply.
beltane
@The Other Chuck: Those things are perfectly suited to being enjoyed on their own terms. The plethora of nuggets, patties, waffles, sweet potato wedges etc. that I see in the freezer aisle of the coop are inspired by such traditional American fare as Tyson chicken patties, Ore-Ida fries, and Eggo waffles. People who didn’t grown up on a processed food diet generally find this stuff to be rather foul.
Mike J
@Oregon Rose: I am nothing but thrilled about the first Seattle Mariner to enter the Hall of Fame. No hostility at all. I just ignore the fact that the fuckwits from PETA are cited as a source.
p.a.
@Oregon Rose: Not really, although a new Front Pager would hopefully have enjoyed a honeymoon day or two. Welcome to Balloon Juice!
The Other Chuck
@beltane: Just like with all other foods, there’s a range of quality, and no doubt as vegan diets become more popular, we’ll see a lot more mass-produced crap in the vegan section too. Still, I’m pretty keen on enjoying tofurkey on its own merits, regardless of what it’s imitating.
Anne Laurie
@NotMax:
The options are improving every year, flavor-wise, but IMO there’s still a learning curve for your tastebuds.
I think of it as the reverse of smoking: Smokers have strong opinions about their favorite brand ‘flavors’, which they crave, but to non-smokers it all smells like burning garbage. People who’ve been eating vegan for a while (or who’ve eaten vegan all their lives) have ‘trained’ their taste buds to appreciate the flavors of vegan cooking in all its richness. But those of us who are used to high-fat, high-sodium meat & dairy dishes, vegan food tastes… not-complete.
It’s a speed bump, not an unclimbable wall. (And, no, I don’t eat vegan myself — I could see myself giving up meat, but *not* dairy.)
Ruviana
@schrodinger’s cat: Thanks for the explanation, it may find its way into my class on food, culture and society b/c my students rarely think about how such things are interrelated. I understand that Jainism and Hinduism are very different but I wonder if there’s some aspect similar to Beltane’s observation about food here in which food choices function as ways to police the poor.
The Other Chuck
@schrodinger’s cat: It’s educational to hear about what’s going on with fundies in India, but the post, like most of the others on this blog, was made in an American political context, where the particular flavor of persecution you’re describing simply doesn’t exist. So try putting on a different lens and not go looking for militancy where it’s obvious none was intended.
But yeah, I don’t follow links to PETA either.
schrodinger's cat
@Anne Laurie: All non vegan food is high in fat and sodium? That’s a stretch.
I eat mostly vegetarian food, supplemented by chicken and fish, occasionally beef. I cook most of my food from scratch. I drink lots of homemade yogurt and fruit.
beltane
@Ruviana: That would be an interesting subject for a book.
Anne Laurie
@Hillary Rettig:
OH YEAH. Although I know lots of people who’ve used mushrooms to help ‘wean’ themselves off meat (portabella ‘burgers’, pizza toppings, sauce ingredients, etc.)
The Other Chuck
One decent source of vegan recipes and laughs: The Vegan Black Metal Chef
schrodinger's cat
@The Other Chuck:
Yes I know that vegans/vegetarians have almost no political clout to speak of over here, however they do exhibit the same sanctimony in spades. It just rubs me the wrong way. YMMV.
schrodinger's cat
@Ruviana: Not just poor but also those who are non-Hindu and or of lower castes.
chopper
@Hillary Rettig:
factory farming isn’t designed to minimize inputs. factory farming is designed to minimize expensive inputs. factory farming works due to insane lobbying that keeps their land, water, grain and waste costs lower than they should be. it’s basically subsidized.
srv
@Hillary Rettig: I try to enlighten these people, but they’re very herdish.
Davebo
@Hillary Rettig:
OK, you lost me there. Honestly you’d lost me already but that sealed the deal!
chopper
@Ruviana:
I didn’t consider the post to be that preachy either. excited, yes, but excited can be a good thing.
Anne Laurie
@Oregon Rose:
‘Unusual’? How long have you been reading Balloon Juice?
Apart from the usual cantankerousness of our little virtual village, greeting every new front-pager with the Ceremonial Showering of the (Pixel) Poo is very much its own tradition. When I got ‘promoted’ (fifth to the Authors list, back in 2009), there was much lamenting that wimmens-lib tokenism was spoiling this previously excellent blog — and also, I sucked as both a writer and a human being. Same thing happened to the first gay front-pager. Ditto for Angry Black Lady, gods know. People found reasons to take objection to Randinho’s soccer posts (nobody cares about fake football!) and Richard Mayhew’s insurance posts (booooring!). Sarah Proud & Tall got abused for being NSFW, and TomL for not putting nude portraits below the fold.
I’m not saying it’s a great tradition, but as Woody Allen did not say, the bile duct wants what it wants. :)
chopper
@Anne Laurie:
yep. we drink a lot of non-dairy milk in my house. my 2-year-old son drinks it, along with cow’s milk, all the time and couldn’t give less of a shit. it’s all the same to him.
Keith G
Mmmmm. Duck.
Hillary Rettig
@Steve from Antioch: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_fallacy
Anne Laurie
@schrodinger’s cat:
Of course not, but most Americans are used to high-fat, high-sodium meals. Heck, even into the 1970s, commercial pureed baby food had added salt & sugar — because moms always tasted them, and while the babies didn’t know the difference, moms wanted salty/sugary strained peas or carrots that tasted ‘right’ to them. And we know, now, that what you eat in the first couple years of life (even in utero!) permanently influences your taste buds; there’s still cohorts of Americans, including of course us Baby Boomers, who think of high-fat high-sodium meals as “what food is supposed to taste like.”
Hillary Rettig
@p.a.: Yes. Honestly, I was prepared for worse. :-)
bmoak
@Mike J: Wasn’t Randy Johnson a Mariner?
srv
@Anne Laurie: Uh, you were way harsher on ABL than I was. Do I need to pull from the archives?
And I hated Tim F. from the very beginning, even if I like Max.
Hillary Rettig
@schrodinger’s cat: I wouldn’t assume that all chicken is low sodium. Have you heard of plumping?
It’s definitely valid to critique vegan packaged foods for being packaged – although many of the Gardein’s and Beyond’s have relatively few ingredients, considering, and they’re also pretty low sodium – but it’s important to remember that a lot of supposedly whole foods are pretty adulterated / contaminated.
Hillary Rettig
@The Other Chuck: OMG yes! Going to ask him to guest here if I can.
One thing I really dig about him is that he’s a teacher in his non-VBMC life, and a *great* explainer.
schrodinger's cat
@Hillary Rettig: I have noticed that especially for chicken breasts. I usually get the bone-in stuff.
Mart
@JPL: Local farmers?, what country you live in? Just read today that vast majoroty of chicken farms are massive, great many over 1 million birds with some exceeding 5 million. Crazy ain’t it?
Mrbarky
I just had some noodles made of tofu tonight. They were very chewy and tasted fine.
My wife is a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian (insert Pulp Fiction joke here…).
Parmenides
@schrodinger’s cat:All the food I make is generally high in fat, though not in Sodium. Cause fat tastes good and makes other things taste good. You haven’t lived until you’ve had spiced potatoes and vegetables cooked in low temp olive oil for an extended period of time, over rice. Damn good stuff.
RunningSquid
BJ is a parody site now. Near constant Twitter in every post and now a huge post encouraging vegan eating. I miss Cole when he was just leaving the republicans instead of giving posting over to people telling me not to eat bread with egg in it.
karen marie
Is this post a joke? It’s not very funny.
Satby
@Hillary Rettig: Well, you’ve been here a long time too.
I enjoyed the post, was vegetarian for quite a while when I was younger and tend to eat a mostly meat free diet anyway, though I like meat fine. Since the exchange daughters came and finding halal meat has been a huge chore, we’ve done a lot of vegetarian dinners and some meat substitute dinners. I never used substitute (we call it fake) meat before, since if I wanted meat that’s what I’d make. But I have to give a shout out to Quorn products, they’re mushroom based instead of soy and come the closest to tasting like real meat I’ve tried.
ruemara
I actually love cooking vegan. It’s great as base for my non-vegan meals and it means I can feed my vegan friends. It’s also very easy to adjust things to be vegan. Except, of course, meat dishes. And my vegan friend makes great cookies with chia.
Patricia Kayden
Thank you Hillary for this write up. Bookmarked the page since Hubby is vegan and I dip my toe in veganism from time to time.
Hillary Rettig
@Satby: Quorn I know is excellent, and they make a smashing vegan patty. I think (it’s been a while since I checked) that most of their products use egg as a binder so not for me. :-( But hopefully they’ll come around.
redshirt
I’ve been a veggie for 20 years now but I do eggs and dairy and find it difficult to conceive of going straight vegan.
Speaking of, anyone familiar with “Quorn” products? They’re fungus based, as weird as that sounds, but everything I’ve tried of theirs is fantastic. Great fake chicken. Don’t know if its vegan though.
mario
give up mayo?
Now that’s just crazy talk.
Betty Cracker
@redshirt: A line you used the other day in reference to your vegetarianism made me smile, something about how if you have to work, you don’t see why cows, goats and chickens shouldn’t have to work.
The Other Chuck
@RunningSquid: Yeah god forbid your human blog host should actually change over time. What keeps you here?
redshirt
@Betty Cracker: I stand by those comments. :)
And read the thread, redshirt! Quorn mentioned right above you.
And yes, I highly recommend their products.
PJ
@Luthe: Not to mention that PETA is currently supplying the “militia” in Oregon with food right now: For whatever reason, the link isn’t showing up but you can cut and paste into your browser: http://gawker.com/peta-brought-the-oregon-militiamen-vegan-jerky-and-they-1751479619
PJ
@beltane: Agriculture always involves killing animals – they may be the kind of animals people don’t get teary-eyed about, i.e., invertebrates and small mammals, but you can’t successfully raise crops without killing them.