Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Let there be snark.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

After roe, women are no longer free.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I was promised a recession.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

I really should read my own blog.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

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Open Thread

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One of the few luxuries I afford myself is getting a massage to help deal with the chronic shoulder pain (which leads to neck and back pain), so I got my monthly massage today. My LMT is in between offices, so we made arrangements for it to take place at home. For those of you wondering how a massage at home is with three dogs and a cat, one word: shitshow.

Thurston was completely enamored with the grapeseed oil (it is dog safe) that she used, so thus spent the entire time on the table with me, licking whatever she had just massaged. We put him in another room, and he barked like a maniac. So I spent the entire time with a dog licking my feet, legs, back, whatever while the therapist massaged another body part, with both arms dangling down and Rosie demanding pets from one hand and Lily demanding action from the other. Steve just stared down at us all from his cat tower.

The LMT seemed to think the entire thing was awesome, and I had to make sure she didn’t try to steal Steve.

Why is it always Steve? No one ever wants to take Rosie or Thurston, it’s always Steve.

Reader Interactions

159Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    Why is it always Steve? No one ever wants to take Rosie or Thurston, it’s always Steve.

    Cats are cooler than dogs.

  3. 3.

    David Koch

    Oil falls to 14 year low.

    Oil continued its 6 month slide, falling below $34 (!) a barrel for the first time since 2002.

    Thanks Obama.

  4. 4.

    David Koch

    U.S. car sales hit record high in 2015

    Drivers in the United States bought more cars last year than ever before, a staggering turnaround for an auto industry fighting for its life half a decade ago.

    17.5 million cars and trucks were sold last year compared to 10.4 million sales in 2009.

    The record-setting year has squashed recession-era worries that the industry would never recover and given fuel to the Obama administration’s argument that the auto bailout helped carmakers survive.

    Thanks Obama

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    An interesting twist in Texas open carry — apparently the law’s proponents didn’t realize that Texas liquor laws require that people with carry permits show them at the door before they enter any place that sells alcohol. Yes, that includes Wal-Mart. And the Texas liquor authorities don’t seem interested in coddling gun nuts. Good for them.

  8. 8.

    Roger Moore

    Why is it always Steve? No one ever wants to take Rosie or Thurston, it’s always Steve.

    Maybe because he’s the pet you spend the least time bitching about.

  11. 11.

    greennotGreen

    One of my many toy dogs always sleeps under the covers, and at night when we all go to bed, he spends a few minutes licking my feet. It’s very soothing.

  16. 16.

    Felonius Monk

    Why is it always Steve?

    ‘Cause Steve is a big floofy, handsome dude whose attitude is I Came, I Saw, I Kicked Ass.

  17. 17.

    David Koch

    Rand Paul: Cruz Is Definitely Qualified To Be Canada’s Prime Minister

    BWHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHA

    I ❤️‍ how Raphel Cruz is getting shelled by the birthers. Live by the smear, die by the smear.

  18. 18.

    lamh36

    My youngest sister (the one I practically raised) who got married last August is having a baby!

    So either my allergies were acting up, or I got real emotional when she told us. I didn’t get emotional when my other younger sister told us she was having Zoe, but this one is like my baby, have a baby. So yeah…I’m a big ole softie when it comes to that sister.

  20. 20.

    JPL

    haha.. John McCain is questioning Cruz’s national born citizenship. hahaha.. McCain was born on US territory, although in Panama.

  21. 21.

    RSA

    with me licking whatever she had just massaged.

    How’d it taste? I’ve always wondered what a home massage would be like.

    Thanks, garden path sentence!

  22. 22.

    Woodrowfan

    I’d take either Rosie or Thurston if I didn’t already have three pups. Of course I’d take Lily too, but since would break Cole’s heart (and probably Lily’s) I wound’t dare.

  24. 24.

    sm*t cl*de

    so thus spent the entire time on the table with me, licking whatever she had just massaged

    OR

    so thus spent the entire time on the table, with me licking whatever she had just massaged

    FUN WITH COMMAS.

  25. 25.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    Well, I’ve signed the contracts with Ingram-Spark to be my distributor for ebooks and print books. And the text for the back cover of Becoming Phoebe has been finalized. I approved the proofs of the acknowledgements. The list price for the print edition is going to be $17.00, though Amazon reserves the right to sell it for whatever they feel like.

    We need to send it out to the woman who is going to do the various ebook conversions, then send those and the .pdf for the print version to Ingram-Spark.

    That’s about all that’s left except for the selling.

  26. 26.

    Mary G

    That is a delightful visual, thanks, John. I’d take Lily as well as Steve, if that makes you feel any better.

    It rained a ton yesterday and today here in my corner of Southern California and I’ve had enough already. There is like eight inches of water in my buckets I put out. Weird to have more water than I know what to do with.

    Question for people who know things about houses. Many of my friends have had leaks sprung in their roofs. My is OK so far, but there is gravel all over that came off the tar and gravel flat roof during the thunder and lightning and horrible wind. How long do those roofs (rooves?) last? It was completely replaced in 2001.

  28. 28.

    PurpleGirl

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Congratulations! It’s been a long haul for you — writing, revising, editing, funding the project. But you did it. Here’s hoping it sells really well. Now what is your next idea?

  29. 29.

    Felonius Monk

    Things are getting a bit desperate out at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge where an unknown number of armed militiamen have been holed up for five days now.

    The ragtag group of armed men is still talking tough, but one admits, it’s time for this Constitutional stand for freedom to be over already.

    “I need to get home,” one militiaman and rancher LaVoy Finicum told NBC News Tuesday. “I got cows that are scattered and lost.”

    According to NBC News, Finicum is an Arizona rancher with 11 kids at home who also told the news outlet that he would rather die than face jail time.

    (Source)

    Will more rats follow?

  30. 30.

    jl

    @sm*t cl*de: Shows that Cole needs to give more explicit details. otherwise there might be unfortunate misunderstandings of what was going on.

    Edit: though depending on what was going on, maybe better get Betty Cracker’s hidden thread feature fixed first. Put them in there.

  31. 31.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @PurpleGirl: I’m still working on the next idea part. I don’t really have an idea for a next novel, so I’ll probably be writing short stories.

  33. 33.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    I guess CNN had an interesting interview with an ammosexual who kept on stroking his AR-15 probably playing with the trigger. Is this called Gunsterbaiting? H/T to Raw Story.

  35. 35.

    PurpleGirl

    @Felonius Monk: He’d die rather than face jail time? How the hell did he think the thing would end? They’d just let him go home to the 11 (11??!!!) kids… His cows are scattered and lost? He didn’t corral them before leaving Arizona? His kids don’t help with the farm? How the hell is he raising those precious kids? Idiot. A real moran. Sheesh.

  40. 40.

    PhoenixRising

    Of course your chronic shoulder pain may vary, but…I decided to try ultrasound on the scarred tendons that like to adhere to my chest wall in certain weather.

    I slapped on the ultrasound unit issued for my recent sprain* to do 10 minutes over the scar 20cm under my armpit (from chest tube insertion) twice last weekend. Upshot: The whole area hurts less than it has for most of the past 9 years, and I’m buying my own ultrasound machine.

    So if your LMT is interested in ever treating you again, don’t quit, but have you tried ultrasound?

    *My dogs & I lost a fight with a fire hydrant; no I don’t wish to discuss; facial scarring is almost not visible in dim light and grade II sprain of MCL has healed; I now have pre-patellar bursitis and I’m going to give one of you assholes the opportunity to tell the rest of the class what that’s called in the literature. Ha ha.

  42. 42.

    Gravenstone

    @lamh36: Given that the Chief Justice is noted Bible thumper and 10 Commandments lover Roy Moore, this really shouldn’t be a surprise. Of course he’s going for the unconstitutional option because, reasons.

  44. 44.

    Mike J

    the table with me licking whatever she had just massaged.

    Uhm, excuse me? I thought you said the dog liked the grapeseed oil. Why were you licking it?

  46. 46.

    CaseyL

    Why does everyone love Steve?

    Why wouldn’t everyone love Steve? He is Captain Fluffy Pants, large and in charge.

    And what a lot of terrific news from everyone tonight! Congrats to Tissue Thin Pseudonym and lamh36!

  48. 48.

    Mike J

    @David Koch:

    Oil falls to 14 year low.

    Newt Gingrich said Obama’s reëlection would raise it to $10/gallon and he would drop it to $2.50.

    Of course since I paid $1.63/gl[1] today, Republicans will tell you the president has no influence on oil prices.

    [1] With my grocery loyalty card.

  50. 50.

    PhoenixRising

    @raven: Nope. TENS scares me–wife got ‘treated’ with it after an accident that may have caused the nerve damage, or possibly the electricity coursing along her thigh caused it, but…

    I’ve been using this little portable ultrasound that sticks on; it’s pretty low wattage. Friend who sent me out of her office with it, as well as the compression ice bucket machine, is licensed to work on horses but has human-sized attachments and fittings for those gadgets.

  52. 52.

    Felonius Monk

    @efgoldman:

    Should have thought of that before you left the house.

    Wonder if LaVoy will make it back to Arizona. It’s a long drive, anything could happen like a detour to a federal pen.

  55. 55.

    mkd

    Does anyone read a Cole tale of mishap/misadventure/looney events occurring to him and think this is a modern version of the crazy people and pets in Thurber’s My Life and Hard Times? I still laugh out loud when I revisit that little gem and I have been known to laugh out loud when Cole tells the story about a sad Subaru in a field or relives any Rube Goldberg-esque series of accidents he visits upon himself or this house of pet massage therapy (FYI, I’m laughing with love)

  57. 57.

    PhoenixRising

    @Felonius Monk:
    And the question ‘If you have 11 kids, why are your cattle unsupervised?’ would just be too hard for a reporter to think up off the cuff so we will never, ever, know.

  58. 58.

    Woodrowfan

    @Mike J: According to the Reichwing, if it’s good, Obama didn’t do it, if it’s bad, he’s responsible. Was it a commentator here that told us how he imitated a RW coworker by pretending to burn his lip on his coffee and saying “thanks Obama!”

  60. 60.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Felonius Monk:

    LAVOY FINICUM generates some fine anagrams:

    The Santorumesque UNCIVIL FOAMY
    The girly-girly LACY IF IN OVUM
    And a suggested slogan for Napa Valley: CALIF VINO YUM

  63. 63.

    PhoenixRising

    @mkd: Yes. I have often thought that Cole is a Thurber for the modern age.

    The night the bed fell on father, etc.

    Thurber should be better-known than he is.

  64. 64.

    PhoenixRising

    @danielx: Ha! My brother in law, who is an asshole who attended Harvard Law (but I repeat myself) says that Cruz is an asshole’s asshole–the other brownnosing syncophants who devoted their youth to getting admitted to Harvard Law hated him.

  65. 65.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    It’s The Tao of Steve. Steves are iconic.

    I get to go home to Detroit tomorrow. The mysterious ‘cooling issue’ that I flew down to Mexico to fix turned out to be a water tank that needed a gallon of water added to it. The only water tank in the machine, which the customer was somehow unaware was there. It has markings on it so you can see the level, if you look.
    We did a little training session after that.
    I’m in a super weird Holiday Inn in the old historic district of Queretaro*, so the hotel is very Historic. Like, old saddles for barstools and inscrutable bronze statues turning up in odd places. And all made of un-dressed limestone blocks. It is actually kind of cool in the way that Holiday Inns never are.

    *just try spelling that correctly three times.

  67. 67.

    Felonius Monk

    @PhoenixRising:

    If you have 11 kids, why are your cattle unsupervised?

    I think the question they really should have asked is: If you’ve got 11 kids, why in the hell do you jeopardize their future by being an asshole with a gun?

  68. 68.

    PhoenixRising

    @Felonius Monk:

    If you’ve got 11 kids, why in the hell do you jeopardize their future by being an asshole with a gun?

    I think that’s a metaphysical question about the nature of stupidity, which as Einstein surmised may be infinite. Whereas mine is a pragmatic one.

  71. 71.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    I still can’t believe these clowns can occupy Federal property, threaten violence and come and go as they please on pizza runs. That just boggles the mind. maybe if they just restricted them to Chipotle it would be fair.

  72. 72.

    dr. bloor

    @Felonius Monk:

    “I need to get home,” one militiaman and rancher LaVoy Finicum told NBC News Tuesday. “I got cows that are scattered and lost.”

    According to NBC News, Finicum is an Arizona rancher with 11 kids at home who also told the news outlet that he would rather die than face jail time.

    Eleven kids and scattered livestock? My father was chasing down errant cows (and thinking patricidal thoughts about my likely-inebriated grandfather) when he was twelve. This guy is a Giant Fucking Fail on every level and in every universe you can identify.

  73. 73.

    John Dillinger

    “whatever she had just massaged” is a way of yada, yada, yadaing a happy ending.

  74. 74.

    Keith G

    @Mnemosyne:

    And the Texas liquor authorities don’t seem interested in coddling gun nuts. Good for them.

    The Leg will eventually change it, but yeah, TABC, Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission, are not known for their flexibility and generous temperament. IOW, they love inhabiting a hard-assed persona.

    And god love ’em for that as there are a lot of no-accounts and bad actors in the bar bidness – and I have worked for a few of them.

  76. 76.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh36:

    Congratulations! I bet that’s going to be the most spoiled baby in the state of Louisiana.

    Also, watching little cousins play with each other is pretty much the most adorable sight ever. You’ll start looking forward to family holidays just for that.

  77. 77.

    mkd

    @PhoenixRising: The first time I read The Night the Bed Fell I laughed myself to tears when Thurber’s father encounters the ‘dying’ cousin. “Walla Walla and Perth Amboy” are by words in my world for the house gods of crazy/cross-purposed relatives in my own family
    . And don’t get me started on his fabulous thief dog, Rex!

  78. 78.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @PhoenixRising:

    an asshole who attended Harvard Law (but I repeat myself)

    I know a few folk who attended HLS(long term roommate in college being one) that are no more assholes than most other attorneys.

    ETA: Though your point about Failgunner Ted stands.

  79. 79.

    beltane

    The thing about Cruz being ineligible for the presidency seems to be catching on. My 76 year old mother called from Florida to ask me how he was “allowed” to run for president when he wasn’t even born here.

  82. 82.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    If an LMT uses food-grade oil is any or,all variant dog- or cat-safe? Just a tangential question, because our cats love any kind of food oil in our kitchen.

    (Contrast to the sesame fragance Neutrogena, which I’m sure isn’t edible, but I wouldn’t trust my cats to not try.)

  83. 83.

    Mnemosyne

    @Mary G:

    I work in a one-story building and there was one point today where it sounded like a firehose had been turned onto the roof. Luckily it didn’t last very long, but this was why I planned ahead and put a nice beef stew in the crockpot this morning.

  86. 86.

    srv

    Honestly, The John Cole Show would be more like an 80s sitcom, but there is a market for that. I think France or Japan.

    I’d cast John Goodman, but he’s kinda anorexic now.

  87. 87.

    Mike J

    @PhoenixRising:

    Cruz is an asshole’s asshole–the other brownnosing syncophants who devoted their youth to getting admitted to Harvard Law hated him.

    I think Princeton undergrad covers that. Still unclear on what he considers a lesser ivy.

  91. 91.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @Mike J:

    Still unclear on what he considers a lesser ivy.

    Brown. It’s kind of the Forrest Gump of the Ivy League. Outside of the professional schools, Penn isn’t much to write home about, either.

  94. 94.

    Tommy

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: I will stand by the school I went to 24/7. I will never forget my parents, in their mini-van, taking me around to colleges. I recall going to Duke and wanting to go to that school and my parents saying they couldn’t afford it. Anybody that puts down a school I find is an ass.

  96. 96.

    NotMax

    @mkd

    Ah, the world of James Thurber.

    Critically praised but unable to build a substantial audience, My World and Welcome to It was a Thurber-based sitcom.

    Pre-season promo from 1969. Aired for one season and won two Emmys – best lead actor in a comedy series and best comedy series.

  97. 97.

    SIA

    @Felonius Monk: These western domestic terrorists all seem to have names that sound like they’re something out of a Perry Mason novel. LaVoy Finicum . Ammon Bundy.

  102. 102.

    lamh36

    @Mnemosyne: Thx, but my sister lives in Dallas…so she’ll be the most spoiled baby in Texas I guess…lol

    My mom already said she guess she’ll be moving to Texas…I mean her baby is having a baby…so she gotta be there!

  103. 103.

    David Koch

    @lamh36:

    John McCain: “I Don’t Know” If Cruz Is Eligible For Presidency With Canadian Birth

    This is Great News for McCain!

  104. 104.

    Felonius Monk

    Ah that Bundy -– he just hates the gubmint:

    Ammon Bundy runs a Phoenix-based company called Valet Fleet Services LLC, which specializes in repairing and maintaining fleets of semitrucks throughout Arizona. On April 15, 2010—Tax Day, as it happens—Bundy’s business borrowed $530,000 through a Small Business Administration loan guarantee program. The available public record does not indicate what the loan was used for or whether it was repaid. The SBA website notes that this loan guarantee was issued under a program “to aid small businesses which are unable to obtain financing in the private credit marketplace.” The government estimated that this subsidy could cost taxpayers $22,419. Bundy did not respond to an email request for comment about the SBA loan.

    (Source)

  106. 106.

    J R in WV

    Some good news here, about John, Lamh36, others. Great to hear about people healing and being happy.

    And the Tejas Liquor Board, it is to laugh. They got in trouble for busting a gay bar a couple of years ago, it was basically a couple of enforcement agents who were gay-phobic and went off the reservation. Sad that this kind of thing can still happen at all, but glad in today’s world they get in trouble over it.

    John, your grammar is sometimes really funny! Glad you enjoyed the massage, hope it was fun getting the oil licked off.

    We had a dog years ago that liked to lick my feet. At first it was unbearable, but I got over being ticklish and enjoyed it after that. Miss her, we do. Part Airedale, really sweet, smart, loving, named Annie as she was an orphan we rescued from the side of the road in Mingo county.

  107. 107.

    Suzanne

    @Mary G: A roof should last 30 years if done right. It sounds like you have a ballasted roof? Unfortunately, those can be problematic.

  111. 111.

    seaboogie

    @RSA:

    I’ve always wondered what a home massage would be like.

    While traveling on business a couple of months after my husband passed away, I felt the need to tend to myself and had a massage in my hotel room at the Ritz Carlton in Atlanta, followed by room service, and it was awesome! The no need to get up afterwards, and the posh room with soft lighting was so perfect.

    One of the unusual things that I remember is that that hotel had men’s black socks available in their in-room amenities for purchase basket – which I thought was pretty genius.

  113. 113.

    catclub

    @Felonius Monk:

    he would rather die than face jail time.

    I noticed some other Malheur occupier comparing their action to civil disobedience. They always seem to forget that the idea of civil disobedience is to actually get arrested.

  114. 114.

    seaboogie

    @Suzanne: I love all of the expertise that is available to tap here on the blog – one of the many wonderful aspects of the commentary that I think is pretty unique to this joint.

  115. 115.

    JCJ

    In case you are worried about someone stealing Steve just tell them about his need for periodic ass shavings.

  117. 117.

    eemom

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:

    Still unclear on what he considers a lesser ivy.

    Brown. It’s kind of the Forrest Gump of the Ivy League. Outside of the professional schools, Penn isn’t much to write home about, either.

    hmm. For the second time this evening you are confidently spouting bullshit about things you know nothing about.

    There’s no such thing as a “lesser ivy”, for fuck’s sake. They’re all elite schools that gazillions of kids pine to get into. Where the fuck are you getting your info from?

    ETA: Comment about Brown being the “Forrest Gump” is particularly moronic.

  124. 124.

    SIA

    @seaboogie: we spent our wedding night at the downtown Atlanta Ritz. Having already cohabitated for a few years, the evening was spent watching whatever Batman movie was out in 1994 and eating goodies from the personal bar. I was appalled when I realized that went on our bill! Anyway, I find occasional luxury wonderful :)

  125. 125.

    catclub

    since this is an open thread: Michael Grunwald has a new! and updated! ‘everything is awesome’ article
    – at politico. It is good, and the list of bad things predicted to inevitably happen, starting around jan, 2009, that have NOT happened. is Notable.

    speaking of other countries wishing they had our problems:

    Daesh (ISIS, ISIL) has pledged to attack and destroy the two Saudi political prisons, al-Ha’ir (Riyadh) and al-Tarfiya (Qaseem region), where Muslim radicals are typically held, and release their inmates. These prisons hold several thousand Saudis accused of involvement in terrorism.

    Even with the number of crazy militia-folk we have, I still think we do not have thousands of imprisoned radicals – just for being radical.

  126. 126.

    catclub

    @SIA:

    I was appalled when I realized that went on our bill!

    Very strong appetite suppresant if you read the price list first.

    [I wonder if you restocked your mini-bar with extra items from the nearby 7-11 they would reduce your bill at the price-list rate?]

  127. 127.

    SIA

    @catclub:

    [I wonder if you restocked your mini-bar with extra items from the nearby 7-11 they would reduce your bill at the price-list rate?]

    If only I’d been that smart.

  128. 128.

    Juju

    I’m so happy today. I’m having LASIK tomorrow. No more glasses after tomorrow 11:00am, except for readers, but I’ll be able to see the alarm clock.

  130. 130.

    TriassicSands

    Why is it always Steve?

    Because cats are way cooler than dogs. I know this because my cats are using mind control to force, I mean allow me to write these words.

  131. 131.

    Steeplejack

    @Ultraviolet Thunder:

    The mysterious ‘cooling issue’ that I flew down to Mexico to fix turned out to be a water tank that needed a gallon of water added to it.

    I love jobs like that. I spent a nice couple of days in Ottawa sometime around ’95-96 when I flew up to troubleshoot a “big problem” for a telecom client. I lucked out, ran down the (minor) software problem in the first two hours, then had nothing but time to kill. Saw some of the sights and ate in a couple of great restaurants.

  133. 133.

    Mnemosyne

    @Juju:

    I’m still hemming and hawing over it, but I’ll probably break down and get it done in February. I can barely see the bedside table without my glasses, much less the clock, and I am apparently an ideal candidate from an eye doctor’s perspective.

  134. 134.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: Its already been enjoined by a Federal court. He’s just being intransigent. As a result the county in which Mobile is located is not issuing anything because they’ve got a Federal court order saying issue to both straight and gay couples and an order from the guy that administers state courts saying not to.

  135. 135.

    mclaren

    This horseshit explains why Hillary or Bernie will nuke Donald Trump if Trump actually does manage to weasel his way into the nomination.

    Rubio? They’re now calling him “Mr. Miami Vice.” Toast.

    Cruz? Toast.

    Jeb? Please. Polling at 3% and dropping. Toast.

    Carson? Not even on the radar anymore. Toast.

    This is going to be a fun election. The Democratic nominee will beat any Republican in the field like a rented mule.

  137. 137.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: My guess is that the Federal judge is not going to be amused when she has to revisit this because someone couldn’t get their marriage license and because some probate judge is being squeezed by Moore. I would expect that Moore is going to be put in a very uncomfortable set of circumstances. Unfortunately he always seems to escape them quickly and ends up smelling like a rose.

  139. 139.

    Juju

    @Mnemosyne: I’m a perfect candidate as well. When I say see the alarm clock, I mean see an indistinguishable brownish bump with a reddish haze across what I assume is the front.

    After the LASIK I will be drugged and instructed to sleep for 12-20 hours. I think I can swing that. When I wake up I should have perfect vision. I haven’t had that since I was eight.

    I’ll let you know how it goes. Did I mention how happy I am?

  140. 140.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s likely the one I saw referenced earlier today that his office was issuing licenses regardless. It’ll be interesting to see what Moore does. Especially as this probate judge is African American. This could get ugly real quick.

  141. 141.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mnemosyne: @Juju: I had it done in 2007 before I went to Iraq. I didn’t need a lot of correction, I had a very weak, for lack of a better term, prescription for my contacts and glasses. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m likely still do for reading glasses in the next few years, but I was told to expect that regardless of the distance correction from the LASIK.

  142. 142.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Juju: You are all bastards. I am stuck occasionally wear glasses forever. LASIK can’t promise much better than where I am. I can legally drive w/o glasses, but I really do need them at night. I need them for movie\ theaters too. Soon, I expect reading glasses. So that is two pairs, plus my sunglasses. It’s awful.*

    *Yes, I am fucking with you.

  143. 143.

    Juju

    @Adam L Silverman: I’ve heard that from three people I know. I am so nearsighted that if you were standing two feet away from my, I could guess you had a face, but I wouldn’t be absolutely certain. I’m looking forward to seeing faces without wearing my glasses. How long did it take for those little red dents on your nose to go away?

    I am so happy about my upcoming LASIK. Did I mention that?

  144. 144.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Juju: I actually had normal/post procedure corrected eyesight within five hours. The post procedure blurriness for me went away very quickly, though I had to sleep with the eye covers for the prescribed amount of time. Given that I wear sunglasses everywhere, and did the same downrange – with dark lenses during the day and a pair with clear at night to protect my eyes from sand, dirt, and dust – I still have eyeglass indentations. I do get halo effect at night, but its not too bad.

    I had one of my teammates, the one I’ve known for years and teach aikido with, drive me to the procedure as we were sharing quarters at the training site. As he had been a medic in the Army during the Vietnam War they let him watch. He was fascinated and basically narrated my procedure. Good times.

  145. 145.

    Juju

    @Adam L Silverman: the narration sounds like fun. My doctor told me that the average procedure for both eyes takes about five minutes. He said mine will take about ten minutes. I’m not surprised to hear that, given that it took the doctor an hour to get me to 20/20 vision with the “is the first lens better, or the second lens?”. Beyond 20/20 the letters looked like ants.

    They give you sunglasses when you leave? I may have been told that, but all I was thinking is, I’m going to have LASIK, and I may have missed that detail.

  146. 146.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Juju: I had my own sunglasses. Bring a set if you’ve got them. They will send you home with these clear eye covers with air flow holes to tape in place over your eyes while you sleep.

  147. 147.

    Juju

    @Adam L Silverman: and by the way, you are a very interesting person and a wonderful font of information. Someday I’ll give you my chocolate raspberry torte recipe. Do you save your beef ribs in the freezer until you have enough to make stock?

  148. 148.

    Juju

    @Adam L Silverman: the doc mentioned sunglasses. I figured they would be like the cataract sunglasses my mom got when she had her cataracts done. I’ll look for a pair just in case. I haven’t been able to wear sunglasses 2008, so I can’t remember where I put them.

  149. 149.

    delk

    Speaking of chronic shoulder pain, I had rotator cuff surgery Monday. The nerve block finally wore off this afternoon. Hello pain!

    Oh well, my deductible got met four days into the new year breaking 2015’s record of 12 days into the new year.

  150. 150.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Juju: I’m fond of Wiley Xes. I have a set of the tobis I use every day. You can get them on Amazon. I like them as well, if not better, than the Oakleys I used to have.

  151. 151.

    Rugosa

    I missed a chapter somewhere – didn’t Thurston find a new home? Can someone clue me in with a brief update?

  156. 156.

    steverinoCT

    @Juju:

    How long did it take for those little red dents on your nose to go away?

    “I saw a young lady there at the bar,
    Her face was just like a rose,
    But I couldn’t help noticing a little mark
    Across the bridge of her nose.

    “She said that the mark you’re staring at,
    Why, it was caused by glasses, my dear.
    I said, Why don’t you use contact lenses?
    She said, They don’t hold enough beer.”
    –Benny Hill

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