• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

I really should read my own blog.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

They don’t have outfits that big. nor codpieces that small.

Republicans do not trust women.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

“woke” is the new caravan.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Sports / #Bengalzi

#Bengalzi

by John Cole|  January 10, 201612:32 am| 72 Comments

This post is in: Sports

FacebookTweetEmail

What a fucking dumpster fire that game was. Just a disgrace.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Thread: Points to Bernie Sanders (Seriously)
Next Post: Sunday Morning Garden Chat: Winter Rime »

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    Linnaeus

    January 10, 2016 at 12:35 am

    Glad I missed it.

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    January 10, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Is Big Ben the star of the movie The Revenant?

  3. 3.

    lol chikinburd

    January 10, 2016 at 12:40 am

    I don’t even watch American football anymore ‘cos of the concussions, but that might be the best topic title ever.

  4. 4.

    muddy

    January 10, 2016 at 12:44 am

    @Corner Stone: I heard he played the bear.

  5. 5.

    The Dangerman

    January 10, 2016 at 12:45 am

    Weirdest ending to a game I’ve ever seen (ok, maybe the meltdown of Leon Lett in the snow, but that wasn’t playoffs).

  6. 6.

    Mnemosyne

    January 10, 2016 at 12:46 am

    We were at a restaurant where it was on the teevee. I was getting really annoyed with a guy at the next table who was whooping it up. I don’t mind that at a sports bar, but I don’t expect it at a normal restaurant like BJ’s.

  7. 7.

    kindness

    January 10, 2016 at 12:55 am

    Yea but Pittsburg won. Don’t complain too much. It almost went the other way.

  8. 8.

    PaulW

    January 10, 2016 at 1:03 am

    I blame Trump.

  9. 9.

    Felonius Monk

    January 10, 2016 at 1:11 am

    @efgoldman: I’m waiting for the fine dining restaurant at Ocean State Job Lots. :)

  10. 10.

    kdaug

    January 10, 2016 at 1:14 am

    @efgoldman: Wait, what? There’s a BJ restaurant?
    Sure as hell wasn’t where we ended up in Austin

  11. 11.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 1:14 am

    @efgoldman: http://www.bjsrestaurants.com/

    Its a brewery restaurant. Not affiliated with the shoppers club/warehouse. Food is consistently good. One of the only places down here I can get a decent Chicago style pizza if I want one.

  12. 12.

    M. Bouffant

    January 10, 2016 at 1:15 am

    Just can’t wait for N.F.L. footsball to return to Los Angeles.

  13. 13.

    FlipYrWhig

    January 10, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Has Burfict always been like this? I’m more of an NFC guy.

  14. 14.

    Larime

    January 10, 2016 at 1:23 am

    @FlipYrWhig: Even in college, yes.

  15. 15.

    Felonius Monk

    January 10, 2016 at 1:25 am

    This isn’t going to end well.

  16. 16.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 1:27 am

    @Felonius Monk: Always nice to see that you don’t know why these folks showed up when a week before you made a video requesting all patriots drop everything and come to support you. These are not the founders of the next American Republic. I’m not sure they’re capable of being the founders of a decent pyramid scheme.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    January 10, 2016 at 1:33 am

    @efgoldman:

    You can buy apples at Fry’s in Arizona, but you can only buy Apples at Fry’s in Californa.

  18. 18.

    Felonius Monk

    January 10, 2016 at 1:34 am

    @Adam L Silverman: Maybe they came for the grilled cheese and spaghetti.

  19. 19.

    philpm

    January 10, 2016 at 1:36 am

    Marvin Lewis may need to start giving Burfict a Valium before every game to keep him from doing stupid shit like that. That should cost him several games and a few extra game checks on top of it if there is any justice.

  20. 20.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    January 10, 2016 at 1:39 am

    @Mnemosyne: I ain’t buying any kind of fruit at Fry’s.

  21. 21.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    January 10, 2016 at 1:41 am

    I would have bet my house Big Ben broke his collarbone. I cannot believe the last few minutes of that game. Holy Shit.

  22. 22.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 1:46 am

    @efgoldman: true.

  23. 23.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 1:46 am

    @efgoldman: also true.

  24. 24.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 1:49 am

    @Felonius Monk: Long drive for a pot luck. BTW: I know Pitcavage. Interesting guy. My understanding is he’s a recluse. Despite being the Director of Research for the ADL, he never leaves his home in Ohio. That’s how I know him. He interviewed me in 2005 for two different jobs as regional director of research for two different ADL regional offices. Turns out they didn’t actually have openings at that time and, if they did, they preferred to promote from within, but they were more than happy to interview me on the phone (Pitcavage) and then pay to bring me to NY for an in person interview. It was really strange.

  25. 25.

    Roger Moore

    January 10, 2016 at 1:56 am

    @Felonius Monk:

    Maybe they came for the grilled cheese and spaghetti.

    Funny, because Bundy’s folks always struck me as being more of tire rims and anthrax kind of people.

  26. 26.

    Felonious Monk

    January 10, 2016 at 1:57 am

    @Adam L Silverman: I don’t know how you give up an $80K income to freeze your ass off for something that you know will only end badly or are these guys really that stupid.

  27. 27.

    BruceFromOhio

    January 10, 2016 at 1:59 am

    BREAKING NEWS- NO ONE IN CINCINNATTI WON THE POWERBALL, EITHER.

    Even if they did, they’d probably accidentally light it on fire anyway.

    Sometimes John’s Twitter feed is like wtf, but sometimes its also amusing.

  28. 28.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 10, 2016 at 2:00 am

    @Felonious Monk: I think they’re true believers. They have completely internalized this alternative understanding of the US; its history, the Constitution, their religion; and that they are supposed to put this ahead of everything. Honestly, they’d make great shock troops. Easily impressionable, completely committed. Perfect wall fodder.

  29. 29.

    Felonious Monk

    January 10, 2016 at 2:11 am

    @Adam L Silverman: I don’t see how this ends without bloodshed.

  30. 30.

    Marc

    January 10, 2016 at 2:11 am

    @Mnemosyne: There is a Frys Electronics west of the 17 on Thunderbird in Phoenix, so you can buy Apples and apples here.

  31. 31.

    NotMax

    January 10, 2016 at 4:05 am

    It’s January, fer Pete’s sake. Isn’t football over?

    /shouting at clouds

  32. 32.

    NotMax

    January 10, 2016 at 4:09 am

    @efgoldman

    BJ’s has a restaurant?

    John Cole. restaurant magnate.

    “Come for the onion rings, stay for the verbal abuse.”

  33. 33.

    barbequebob

    January 10, 2016 at 7:16 am

    @Felonius Monk: Yes, with a menu that changes constantly based on whatever surplus/leftovers are available from local restaurants

  34. 34.

    Wyrm

    January 10, 2016 at 8:54 am

    I said last night that it was painful to watch but I couldn’t make myself turn away. I think that the refs actually did a good job of keeping a lid on two teams that wanted to kill each other for 3 quarters, but it fell apart after they didn’t throw a flag on the Bernard hit. Consensus this morning seems to be that it was illegal, but more importantly the Bengals thought is was dirty and they lost their cool completely.

    Bengals fans were an embarrassment, and the hit on Brown was horrific and in no way equal to the Bernard hit (as some Bengals fans seem to want to equate the two). It was just crazy all around.

  35. 35.

    geg6

    January 10, 2016 at 9:04 am

    @Wyrm:

    Both teams were awful, but those fans in Cincy were a disgrace. Unbelievably classless. I’m not proud of how the Steelers played, but cheering and throwing debris at an injured player being carted out is just disgusting. So glad my team won on that basis alone.

  36. 36.

    p.a.

    January 10, 2016 at 9:27 am

    @NotMax:

    BJ’s has a restaurant?
    John Cole. restaurant magnate.

    “I’m not telling you again: we don’t have any mustard.

  37. 37.

    Luigidaman

    January 10, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Pittsburgh has more thugs than anyone in the NFL. Too bad they won.

  38. 38.

    geg6

    January 10, 2016 at 9:45 am

    @Luigidaman:

    Maybe. But at least our thugs aren’t as stupid as Cincy’s. And other than James Harrison, who seems to be every Steeler hater’s favorite punching bag, please provide evidence of any others who fit your description.

  39. 39.

    Betty Cracker

    January 10, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Dumpster fire is right. There should be enough fines after this one to build new stadiums for the billionaire grifters holding several cities hostage.

  40. 40.

    eric

    January 10, 2016 at 10:17 am

    The irony is that the NFL still maintains that head to head contact is legal if the guy is a runner. THAT is the thing we should be talking about. That is the real disgrace. (Under the rules the Steelers got jobbed because the officials should never have blown the whistle on the Bernard hit.) I just can’t believe that helmet to helmet contact is legal anywhere in the NFL.

  41. 41.

    Bill Murray

    January 10, 2016 at 10:23 am

    @geg6: did you miss the Shazier hit? Joey Porter, the linebackers coach, illegally on the field going to the Bengals defense provoking the Bengals. Is not as stupid code for having an eerie ability to cloud the ref minds?

  42. 42.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 10:31 am

    As everything needs to be filtered through a Patriots perspective, this game was atrocious. Not only do the Pats now have to face the hottest team in the NFL, but Denver gets to face a Pittsburgh team that might be missing their starting QB and starting All Pro wide receiver. All because two guys lost their minds and one guy fumbled to give the game away.

    Tragic.

    Oh well, if the Pats are going to win back to back they’d have to beat a very good NFC team, so might as well play two tough games in the AFC to get there. If they can – which I seriously doubt. Would not be surprised at all to see the Pats lose next week.

  43. 43.

    Bill Murray

    January 10, 2016 at 10:36 am

    @eric:

    The irony is that the NFL still maintains that head to head contact is legal if the guy is a runner.

    Rule 12, Section 2, Article 8 (Unnecessary roughness)

    (f) If a player uses any part of his helmet (including the top/crown and forehead/”hairline” parts) or facemask to butt, spear, or ram an opponent violently or unnecessarily. Although such violent or unnecessary use of the helmet and facemask is impermissible against any opponent, game officials will give special attention in administering this rule to protecting those players who are in virtually defenseless postures …

    which Shazier definitely did. Bernard’s absence led to Hill being on the field for the fumble, and probably cost the Bengals a field goal

  44. 44.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 10:40 am

    Obviously 20/20 hindsight, but the Bengals were already in field goal range. If the QB had kneeled 3 times, they would have used up all 3 of Pitts timeouts and lost about 3 yards, setting up a 45 yard field goal for a 4 point lead with about a minute left. Game over.

    But nope….

  45. 45.

    eric

    January 10, 2016 at 10:42 am

    @Bill Murray: Both officating experts for the networks said that is a legal hit because he turned into a runner. I thought it should have been a penalty as well.

  46. 46.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 10:46 am

    If I were a defensive player I wouldn’t be sure what was legal or not. It must add a great deal of doubt/hesitation to many defensive player’s reactions.

  47. 47.

    SFAW

    January 10, 2016 at 10:56 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    decent Chicago style pizza

    That’s sort of self-contradictory.

  48. 48.

    eric

    January 10, 2016 at 10:59 am

    @redshirt: not Burfict.

  49. 49.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 11:01 am

    @eric: True. He seems to be an idiot though. Everyone on the Cincy D should have understood their situation at that point, and acted accordingly. But nope.

  50. 50.

    SFAW

    January 10, 2016 at 11:09 am

    @philpm:

    Marvin Lewis may need to start giving Burfict a Valium before every game to keep him from doing stupid shit like that.

    You think he’ll get the chance? Apparently, he’s the only coach in NFL history to be 0-7 in the playoffs.

    Maybe the Jets can pick him up. I’m sure he can turn Geno Smith into a latter-day Rick Mirer or JaWalrus.

  51. 51.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 11:14 am

    @SFAW: That’s a real tough call. On the one hand, under Lewis, the Bengals are always competitive and often make the playoffs. On the other, they never win in the playoffs and that performance last night reflects very poorly on the coach.

    But canning Lewis and going with a new coach is such a risky gamble, I don’t think I’d take it.

  52. 52.

    geg6

    January 10, 2016 at 11:14 am

    @Bill Murray:

    We don’t have a clue what Porter was saying. Perhaps he was trying to settle things down. Emotions were running a bit high on both sides, if you recall. Hard to get very upset about it. Didn’t signify anything in the game. Secondly, Shazier was, according to the announcers and the officials, acting within the rules. Your beef is with the NFL, not Shazier. And having watched numerous times now, I don’t disagree, though it was a very terrible collision. YMMV.

  53. 53.

    eric

    January 10, 2016 at 11:15 am

    @redshirt: Look how good the Steelers became with their back up. Lose your starting QB in the NFL and your championship aspirations are gone.

  54. 54.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 11:16 am

    @geg6: Porter was stirring shit. There was one camera angle that showed him with a mischievous grin. He was talking trash. But good for him, because he literally got his team a win in the playoffs.

  55. 55.

    redshirt

    January 10, 2016 at 11:17 am

    @eric: Most always true. But AJ did enough to win that game.

  56. 56.

    SFAW

    January 10, 2016 at 11:18 am

    @eric:

    Lose your starting QB in the NFL and your championship aspirations are gone.

    Somewhere, Mo Lewis is laughing at that one.

    And Drew Bledsoe is crying.

  57. 57.

    SFAW

    January 10, 2016 at 11:33 am

    @redshirt:

    On the one hand, under Lewis, the Bengals are always competitive and often make the playoffs.

    Seven times, I’m guessing.

    On the other, they never win in the playoffs and that performance last night reflects very poorly on the coach.

    I think the inability to control Jones may create a substantial problem for Lewis. They might have survived if only Burfict had been penalized (although perhaps not, I think it would have been a 50-yard FG?). But the PF on Jones gave Boswell plenty of cushion.

  58. 58.

    D58826

    January 10, 2016 at 11:38 am

    @efgoldman: or tic-tac-toe!

  59. 59.

    John Cole

    January 10, 2016 at 11:46 am

    There are two things about the Bernard hit that people are conflating and it is making me mental.

    1.) Was he a defenseless runner?

    No, he was not. He had planted his feet, turned, and was heading upfield- aka the old “football” move that mouthbreathers always blabber on about. That is why the Bernard hit was completely different from the Brown hit.

    2.) Was the Shazier hit spearing/ helmet to helmet?

    Depends on your perspective. The refs felt no. The league may watch it in super slow mo and say yes.
    Personally, I don’t think hits like that will EVER be eliminated from the game. You’ve just got two people running at each other at great speeds. It looked to me like Shazier targeted center mass and while he was doing so, Bernard was moving downward to assume a more forward running stance. They collided and Shazier’s helmet rode up and hit Bernard’s. Again, I just don’t know how you ever remove that kind of contact from the game without fundamentally changing the rules.

  60. 60.

    eric

    January 10, 2016 at 11:54 am

    @John Cole: simple — he charged with his helmet, not his shoulder. The rule should be simple: ANY helmet to helmet his is a penalty.

  61. 61.

    SFAW

    January 10, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    @D58826:

    You and efgoldman are really starting to piss me off, making those snide comments about the intellectual prowess on Mammon Bundy and his boys.

    I have it on good authority — the same people about whom pundits write “some people say” — that the IQ of those patriots is something like 140 to 160 – genius, or near-genius level.

    Of course, that figure is the combined IQ for all of them, but still …

  62. 62.

    D58826

    January 10, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    @SFAW: :-)

  63. 63.

    pseudonymous in nc

    January 10, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    The Bernard hit summed up one of the problems with the NFL, especially in the era of multi-camera replay: the frame-by-frame analysis probably reads it as a legal hit, but the players aren’t watching the game on TV. It was the kind of hit where throwing the flag and defusing any sense of injustice was probably better for the course of the game. Instead, you have insult added to injury because you go back to the frame-by-frame analysis when Tomlin challenges the ruling.

    This might be a Richard Mayhew kind of topic, but I always feel that officials benefit from some room to make a technically questionable call for a specific marginal incident because they have a gut sense that the technically correct decision will send things off the rails.

  64. 64.

    cokane

    January 10, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    @John Cole: you’re full of shit Cole. Shazier LED with the TOP of his helmet. That is always a penalty. It doesn’t matter what part of Bernard’s body he hit. Per the current rules, it is always a penalty.

  65. 65.

    John Cole

    January 10, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    @cokane: Watch a fucking football game and get back to me.

    http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl-news/4690749-bengals-steelers-bernard-hit-video-burfict-brown-head-injuries

  66. 66.

    cokane

    January 10, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    @John Cole: Nice, your argument basically consists of nothing more than dick waving about your NFL watching career. He lead with the top of his helmet. There was no need to lower his body to that extent. Just as Burfict’s hit on Brown would have been clean if he had not lowered his head and shoulder.

    Everything in your link confirms what I wrote. Shazier’s hit was illegal and warranted a penalty per NFL current rules. That these are recent changes affects nothing in what I said. Get back to me when you gain some functional literacy.

  67. 67.

    philpm

    January 10, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    @cokane: Burfict’s hit would never have been clean because Brown had absolutely no way to defend himself. The fact that he deliberately hit Brown in the head just made it worse, on top of the fact he could have easily pulled up and not made the hit in the first place.

  68. 68.

    cokane

    January 10, 2016 at 8:18 pm

    @philpm: This is a misinterpretation of what “defenseless receiver” means. plenty of receivers are legally hit while in the “defenseless” position, as long as the player is targeting what the NFL now deems as the strike zone (roughly shoulders to about the knee) as well as not leading with their helmet. Passes get broken up all the time this way.

    http://thebiglead.com/2015/11/29/rob-gronkowski-carted-off-with-painful-looking-knee-injury-video/

    Darian Stewart not penalized nor later fined for this. Despite the timing of that hit being the same as the Burfict-Brown.

    http://www.milehighreport.com/2015/12/1/9829042/tom-brady-doesnt-think-darian-stewarts-hit-on-rob-gronkowski-was-dirty

    Please don’t rulesplain me while being ignorant. Further, I don’t agree “he could have easily pulled up”, he was sprinting to try to make a play from yards away. You can’t just “pull up” in that situation, Deion Sanders had an interesting discussion about this. The key is that Burfict seemed to lower in order to hit a dangerous zone.

  69. 69.

    toine

    January 10, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    The real killer penalty was the one assessed to Adam Jones. That one could have easily been an off-setting penalty with a flag also thrown on Porter. That would have left Pittsburgh with a 50-yarder for the win…

    Another interesting question is why was this officiating crew doing this game? This was the same crew which totally lost control of the Pitt/Cincy game just a few weeks prior… baffling…

  70. 70.

    John Cole

    January 10, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    LMAO. Deion Sanders.

    Eat a bag of dicks, you sad sack Steelers hater. You’d be convinced feeding the homeless was a penalty if someone from the black and gold did it. Look at your drivel in the previous thread.

    Deion Sanders. Heh.

  71. 71.

    cokane

    January 10, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    @John Cole: Right, a guy who had to defend wide receivers for a living has no valid opinion on that play, but rather a fat fuck who lives on the couch. I’ll take your failure to address any of your ignorant statements about the Bernard hit as a concession.

  72. 72.

    cokane

    January 10, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Lemme add Cole, that I admit to being a Steelers hater. Between hiring a rapist a domestic abuser and a dog murderer, what’s not to love, amirite?

    Wait, I thought you gave up your fandom when you got on your high horse about Vick (tho no issues with Steelers who had hurt humans)? Guess that horse bucked under the weight of your, hypocrisy.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - BarcaChicago  - Off the Gunflint Trail/Boundary Waters 8
Image by BarcaChicago (7/11/25)

World Central Kitchen

Donate

Recent Comments

  • NotMax on Friday Night Open Thread (Jul 11, 2025 @ 11:53pm)
  • Teresa on Friday Night Open Thread (Jul 11, 2025 @ 11:53pm)
  • Teresa on Friday Night Open Thread (Jul 11, 2025 @ 11:49pm)
  • pieceofpeace on Friday Night Open Thread (Jul 11, 2025 @ 11:46pm)
  • Westyny on War for Ukraine Day 1,233: Another Day, More Russian War Crimes & Crimes Against Humanity (Jul 11, 2025 @ 11:45pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!