Repent, for Snowmaggedon is nigh! Or so I’ve read. Some five trillion citizens are in the path of the monstrous, pitiless storm, reports valued commenter Raven, passing along information gleaned from hysterical, glittery-eyed yapping heads on the teebee.
I made the mistake of clicking on the Weather Channel site (which was useful before it went Hollywood) and learned that this storm has a name: Jonas. Really? Jonas? I suggest a rebranding to ramp up the scare factor — maybe something like “Rex” or the serial killer-tinged “Lee” or “Wayne.”
Anyhoo, here in FL, we’re awaiting the moist tail-end of that same system, which is supposed to produce heavy rains, high winds and maybe tornados this afternoon. I hope not.
But in all seriousness, stay safe and warm, comrades. Open thread!
henqiguai
Yesterday, apparently, DC got 1″ of snow. The place, reportedly, went into gridlock. Now, don’t get me wrong as I am a native Washingtonian, but goddam! people. One silly inch and the news video showed the roads were cleared of snow. Okay, 6 years living in Minneapolis and since then living up here in Massachusetts makes wintertime driving routine for me, but goddam! people.
Gravenstone
Since the new trend to popularize winter storms by naming them as if they were hurricanes, I think we should honor their desires. I would simply amp it up to a full historical name. Since everyone seems to be panicking about this one and we’re on the leter “J”, might I suggest WInter storm John Wayne Gacy?
Adam L Silverman
That’s Snowpacalypsearmeggedongotterdamerung if you please.
Gravenstone
@henqiguai: Yeah, I saw a snippet from someone’s Twitter posted on CNN yesterday. They were complaining about how their normal 20 minute commute expanded to nearly 90 minutes. In that pic, I could clearly see pavement (albeit wet) in all the lanes. Seriously folks, stop panicking and learn to fucking drive.
japa21
It is fun to joke sometimes about the typical overreaction to weather events by the media. Nonetheless, this could be very serious for many of the folks in the path of the storm.
To all BJers who are, take care.
And for my fellow Chicago area BJers, I want you to know that I have guaranteed that we will have no major snow events the rest of this winter. Went out an purchased a snowblower that can handle more than 3 inches(which is all my old one could do). That guarantees that we will have no such snow falls. If I hadn’t purchased it, I am sure Jonas would be focusing in on Chicago right now.
schrodinger's cat
We are pretty much going to escape it, the weather guy on the local TV has a disappointed.
Germy
Thanks, Snowbama.
japa21
@Gravenstone: Even in the Midwest, I tremble at the thought of the first snowfall (even if it is only 1″). It seems like most drivers have short memories and have forgotten everything from the previous winter in terms of how to drive in that weather.
henqiguai
@Adam L Silverman (#3):
Awesome. See, that’s yet another reason I like reading your posts.
SarahT
We stocked up on all the necessities yesterday : Water, batteries, booze, and lots of cash to tip delivery guys. OT, but this Wonkette commentyesterday still has me laughing :
https://i.imgflip.com/xovt1.jpg.
Everybody stay safe and warm this weekend !
danielx
Can’t blame them, really. I was there during the blizzard of 1996 and when you get two feet of snow in 36 hours, you’re pretty much screwed. On the other hand, if you’re gonna be snowed in, staying in a Hyatt on the company dime ain’t a bad way to go. Provided that you’re not snowed in for four days when you arrived with an infant and two day supply of Pampers, like another guest couple was.
Mustang Bobby
A friend from D.C. flew down to Miami Beach yesterday for a weekend conference and may end up in my guest room if he can’t get on his flight Sunday night. Okay, so Chez MB ain’t the Fontainbleu, but the room is cheaper.
henqiguai
@japa21 (#8):
Here in New England, with the onset of snowy icy roads, the tradition seems to be on first snowflake sighting implement Kamikaze Driving Rules – drive faster, drive closer, pay less attention! Been up here too many years and haven’t yet seen cause to change that perspective.
gene108
The Weather Channel is trying to copy what the National Weather Center does for naming hurricanes. TWC starts with ‘A’ and works down the alphabet.
TWC names are unofficial, but I guess the suits a The Weather Channel thought it’d help with ratings.
It’s fun watching The Weather Channel during storms. The meteorologists are like kids Christmas morning opening their presents. They wait all year to have something like this to talk about non-stop on the air.
dedc79
@henqiguai: As a DC resident, I can (shamefully) vouch for the accuracy of that. I don’t know what it is about this city. Maybe that it’s on the border of north and south, or that so many people who live/work here come from places that don’t see much snow, or that there seems to be a concentration of the country’s worst drivers. Schools close at the mere mention of snow. The Maryland and Virginia suburbs lose power if the wind gusts more than about 20 mph. It’s disgraceful.
What I can tell you is that a lot of us in the District come from places where snow is no big deal and are as perplexed as the rest of the country by the panic.
Amir Khalid
@henqiguai:
Drive into oncoming traffic, calling out “Long Live the Emperor!” ?
Adam L Silverman
@henqiguai: You’re welcome. I used to put it on the white board on my office door at USAWC whenever we’d be forecast for bad winter weather. It went right below:
The Culture Doctor is in:
The Culture Doctor is out:
The Culture Doctor is out of his mind: X
That last line was added by my very good friend and battle buddy the Regional Studies Director.
gene108
Link to The Weather Channel for the names of winter storms they will use this winter.
The storm before Jonas was named Ilias.
I think TWC needs more creative people in charge of naming these storms. They seem very Greek-centric.
Betty Cracker
I can’t decide between Germy and Adam L Silverman, so they’ll have to split the thread-win sweepstakes.
MattF
@henqiguai: Seems, at least partly, that local jurisdictions were caught off-guard. The prediction for Thursday afternoon was less than an inch, so attention was paid to the two feet being predicted for the next day. In addition, it was cold– well below freezing, so the small amount of snow that fell melted and then refroze as ice on untreated roads– and you don’t need much ice to cause a disaster on the roads.
Note that I’m not exculpating the awful DC area drivers; I stayed home from work yesterday precisely because I expected a disaster.
Adam L Silverman
@Betty Cracker: Thank you. I can’t speak for you all up Ocala(ish) way, but we’ve just come through a major squall lines. So we’re in between bands here in northern Pinellas County. The fourfoots are upset because they know there will be no dog park today.
Poopyman
@Adam L Silverman: You left out Fimblewinter.
Redshift
@Gravenstone:
Nah, it’s just Weather Channel marketing. Last year a lot of news people didn’t seem to realize that the names weren’t from the same source as hurricanes and picked them up. I’ve been pleased to see that this one is being generally ignored.
Poopyman
Also too, the radar tells me the snow line is only 4 miles away. GBCW!
catclub
@gene108:
If there is black snow will it be adjusted to Storm Jonas Savimbi?
Botsplainer
Here in the People’s Democratic Socialist Kenyan Sharia Republic of Louisville, we run an aggressive campaign of telling people to stay off roads for a couple of days while aggressively plowing and brining. We do a good job of gearing down and going slow into curves and stops.
If it isn’t mandatory to go out, we don’t, because this is a springtime good time town, and snow is depressing.
The main problem is asshole out of town truckers who don’t get the memo.
Redshift
@MattF: Yeah, that was unusually bad even by DC standards, so I agree it wasn’t just the usual stupidity. Ms. Redshift missed the worst of it, but was out long enough to experience the ABS kicking in several times and seeing people fishtailing even though they were driving reasonably.
Germy
I’m concerned about power outages from strong winds.
We have an old steam boiler. Every time the power goes out, and then comes back on, its automatic water feeder kicks in, and fills the boiler. The feeder’s job is too make sure the boiler’s water level doesn’t drop to dangerous levels (it has one job) but it takes this to mean it should fill the boiler to the point where water shoots out of the upstairs radiators.
Just One More Canuck
@Gravenstone: how about Jeb!
henqiguai
@Amir Khalid (#16):
Damned near. Driving all up into your tailpipe, spinning out into the next lane (including oncoming traffic or the right-side ditch), jack rabbit accelerations and (attempted) panic stops. And calling out aspersions on everyone else’ ancestry and personal sexual proclivities.
Elizabelle
RE the Wednesday night DC marathon commute home: don’t know if this is true or not, but read that someone from VDOT said it was too cold to pretreat the roads that day. That VDOT was concerned the anti-icing treatment itself would freeze up on the roads. It was stingingly, bitterly cold Weds. (Warmed up considerably yesterday.)
Damned if they did, damned if they did not.
@Gravenstone: Name them all after serial and/or notorious killers. What’s stopping the Weather Channel?
From here on out, this is Snowstorm Jonas Wayne.
HRA
Although I have weathered many storms here slightly south of Buffalo, NY, I do not partake in making fun of people stocking up on necessities or panicking at storms coming their way.
Even here after being well schooled in what you should do or don’t do, people have lost their lives by not being
wise about it.
You who are in the path, pay attention to the advice available to you from the experts. Stay safe. My thoughts are with you.
Woodrow/asim
@MattF: What you said — there is a really good reason people in the Southern US lock up hard when we get precipitation below freezing. And that reason is “black” ice — hard to spot, even in good light, hard-packed, and utterly random in terms of placement on the roadway.
I learned to drive, basically, Up North (Mass.), but grew up, and live currently in, SC. Driving on “black” ice roads terrifies me far moreso than deep snow. Snow is somewhat predictable, random ice spots much less so.
toine
The day they name a storm “Cheney” I’ll be scared…. ’til then… m’eh….
Mustang Bobby
@Adam L Silverman: Steady rain so far today here in Miami-Dade County.
MCA1
I picture this storm announcing itself as a disillusioned Gen-X’er, personally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoAnLHSLHGQ
Love that song. I was studying in Denmark shortly after the album came out, and my roommate back on campus sent me a taped copy (yes, kids, cassette tape; Oasis’s “Definitely, Maybe” on the back), which I played to death over the next couple months.
Hillary Rettig
my midwest and new york parts are in serious conflict. I don’t know whether to panic, or mock the panickers.
seriously, though – I would always err on the side of over-preparation.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
@MattF:
This.
It wasn’t the 1″ of snow, it was the fact that it turned into ice because the roads weren’t treated in time.
I avoided the worst of it, but did hit a patch of ice at a 3-way stop on the down-hill side. My car has anti-lock brakes, and I felt the pedal pulsing for all it was worth, and I was going about 5 MPH on new tires. There was no way to stop. Luckily, there was nobody on the other 2 roads, so I was able to coast through and make the turn without problems.
I picked up some last minute things at the Safeway today (and it was still pretty-well stocked, but some things were gone). The lines were pretty long. Someone behind me was talking on the phone, saying they were making a trip Wednesday evening that usually took 20 minutes and instead it took over 2 hours. Spent 45 minutes at a light without moving. Stuff like that. Because nobody could go up the hills because they were too icy.
:-/
It’s fun to pick on drivers not being able to drive in the snow and how stupid everyone is (BTW, Waldorf drivers are the worst!!1), but there’s usually much more to it – even around here.
/rant-off
:-)
Cheers,
Scott.
J R in WV
Since the new snow started we have nearly 5 new inches, on top of 2 left from Wednesday’s little weather event.
So over half a foot on the ground in a little more than 5 hours…that’s pretty substantial. We’re supposed to have a “dry band” pass over here shortly, but so far no sign of even a let up in the deluge of snow, much a stop in snowfall.
And we did go out yesterday, it was snowy but not unsafe, and we had Dentist appointments for actual work to be done. So we stopped at the big Krogers for all kinds of good stuff. One shop I went into had a rack of light weight snow shovels, so I bought one in case we need to shovel off the flat roof. If you get a couple feet of snow, followed by rain, you can get crushed buildings.
Beckley, where I grew up and 90 miles east and 1800 feet higher in elevation than home now , had a 30 inch snow followed by rain a few years ago, and had nearly 50 buildings crushed, not counting porch roofs, garages, etc. One was a new Krogers, and canned goods shot clear across the street, and that building wasn’t close to the F’ing street!
I’m gonna cross post this in both SNOWMAGEDDON threads. ETA typos.
Adam L Silverman
@Mustang Bobby: Let me know when South Beach floats away towards Cuba. I want to update my maps.
donnah
JR, my mom’s family is just outside of Beckley, and we drive there several times a year. And next week I’ll drive thru on my way to Charlotte, NC. Hoping for better weather then!
Here in SW Ohio, it’s cold, but the snow front went south of us, so no snow here. We have some residue from a previous storm, but it’s minimal. I like snow and would have welcomed a big snowfall, but maybe it’s just as well…
pacem appellant
This blog is so east-coast centric. Here on the west coast, we’re experiencing unseasonable rain and heat. I was just in the Sierra Nevada last weekend, and it rained! (It should have been snowing) If the beltway were situated in Los Angeles or Sacramento, the global warming deniers wouldn’t have been given a week of TV time.
Waspuppet
I insist THUNDERSNOW be spelled using all caps at all times.
henqiguai
@pacem appellant (#42):
Well, if you Westies would just chime in more, would even out. Oh wait, more people from the eastern half of the country participating than the western half?
Shell
@HRA: I agree. A few years ago we had a freak blizzard at the end of October and lost power for 5 days. Found out that the precautions of gasing up your car and getting plenty of cash was well founded. Gas pumps and ATMs don’t work without juice.
And I heard the mayhem down in DC was because of black ice under that inch of snow.
randy khan
As a longtime Washingtonian who first was a Jerseyan, I generally am in agreement about how bad Washington drivers are in the snow, but Wednesday was an exception. I turned onto three different roads that were impassable because it was impossible to get up any kind of decent hill. Cars would go up just so far – even 4WDs – and go no further. I finally got home by getting on the only route to my house that did not include any real uphill stretch.
The current storm (it started snowing about half an hour ago at my house) is going to be a completely different kind of mess.
catclub
@henqiguai: Amir and SPaT more than carry their weight. They even things out between east and west ( if you count Amir as west).
Steeplejack
@Shell:
@randy khan:
True. When I when out at 6:00 p.m. there was a little “dusty” snow coming down. But it was very wet—the wipers smeared it on the windshield instead of just brushing it off—and it froze on the streets. Then we got the inch of fat, fluffy flakes. When I got in the car again about 7:30 the conditions were awful, for good and bad drivers alike. And pickups and 4WD vehicles were having almost as much trouble as everyone else.
EJ
@Botsplainer: The story I heard as to why Louisville is unusually good at dealing with snow, especially considering we rarely get all that much of it and our infrastructure isn’t generally all that well funded, is that back in 1994 or so (not sure exactly, I didn’t live here then) there was a good size blizzard that shut the city down for a week. Now, for those who don’t know, UPS’s “Worldport” is located in Louisville and they’re one of the biggest employers in town. UPS apparently told the city that if that ever happened again, they’d move, so the city invested in plenty of plows and salt trucks, so that when we do get snow, they’re on the ball.
Elizabelle
@EJ: So government can do something right.
Did anyone inform Mitch McConnell?
Interesting story about Louisville. Good to hear.
Soylent Green
What happens is that we leftcoasters don’t get to chime in till you easterners have hit the sack already, and the threads are dead or dying.
Chris T.
new name: Jonas Wayne Blizzicane
henqiguai
@Soylent Green (#51):
So, rationality and common sense is your defense? Well…
Spanky
@Germy: Now that’s funny.
wesindc
SNOWZILLA!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/capital-weather-gang/wp/2016/01/21/poll-name-this-winter-storm/
Stacy
No one can drive on snow covered roads if they’re not treated and it’s cold enough to turn to ice. Not even Northern transplants.
Mnemosyne
Buzzfeed’s When It Rains In Los Angeles is pretty accurate all the way through to the end. We’re actually expecting rain the next couple of weekends, and the ski resorts are happy with the snowpack so far even though it seems to be more “return to normal expectations” than “massive El Niño influx.” We still have a couple more months of winter to go, though.
TriassicSands
When the Perfect Storm hits it will undoubtedly be named “The Donald.”