Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Reality always gets a vote in the end.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Their shamelessness is their super power.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

Trump should be leading, not lying.

This fight is for everything.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

The willow is too close to the house.

Bark louder, little dog.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / AFC Playoffs Open Thread

AFC Playoffs Open Thread

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So bad sketch art victim Tom Brady and crappy pizza chain stooge Peyton Manning will duke it out one more time for a shot at the Superb Owl. Vegas has it at Pats -3. That sounds a little too close to me — I’d take the Patriots -10. But as has been well established this season, I’m Nostradumbass when it comes to football predictions.

As for personal rooting interests, I don’t really have one as I’m neither a fan nor a hardcore hater of either team. But the New England fans I work with are already insufferable enough with their teams’ current run of successes, so I’d rather not see the Pats hoist the Lombardi again. Whether they lose today or February 7th matters not a whit to me.

And yeah, my teams suck, nyah nyah nyah, wevs. What say you, football fans?

Reader Interactions

228Comments

  1. 1.

    Thoroughly Pizzled

    I have no faith in the Broncos, but I hope they win. For whatever reason, the Patriots don’t play that well in Denver.

  4. 4.

    marduk

    Speaking of insufferable New England fans, we’re not going to drop this until we get our draft picks back or Roger Goodell loses his job.

    Pats 31 – Denver 13

  6. 6.

    PaulW

    My mom’s rooting for Carolina ’cause she’s an Auburn alum and she’s all WAR EAGLE for Cam Newton.

    Me? I’m rooting for Scully to hit Mulder with a fresh trout later tonight. #X-Files beeches, it’s BACK

  8. 8.

    RepubAnon

    I would like to see the egos of New England fans “deflated” – but I’m not sure the Denver “Buncos*” are up to the task.

    *A friend of mine from Denver named them that after his hopes for playoff glory were consistently dashed in the post-season.

  9. 9.

    raven

    @PaulW: My boss is an Auburn grad and she didn’t even know who the fuck he was until half-way through his season “on the Plains”. Now it’s Cammy this and tammy that.

  12. 12.

    Svensker

    The fact that YOU are predicting a Brady win gives me hope that the Cheatriots will not be in the Super Bowl this year, Ms. Cracker. From your wrong-way lips to God’s ear!

  13. 13.

    redshirt

    @marduk: Talk about the integrity of the game. The other team owners stole a first round and 6th round pick from the Pats over nothing. NOTHING. Except they’re all jealous cry babies.

    GO PATS!

    Pats dominate, Manning’s terrible. Pats 27 Broncos 13

  14. 14.

    raven

    The ESPN piece on people who “were the guy” who cost their team the game is wrenching. “Nobody knew who I was until the last play I ever played.”

    “it was his one game with the Giants for which Junkin is most remembered. The Giants coaxed the very recently retired veteran back on to the playing field to replace an injured Dan O’Leary. In a 2002 wild card playoff game against the San Francisco 49ers, Junkin botched a snap on a field goal attempt that could have won the game for the Giants, who had squandered a 38-14 lead. Holder Matt Allen attempted to pass to ball to Rich Seubert, but fell incomplete. There was also an uncalled pass interference penalty on the last play, which would have led to another field goal attempt had it been called.[2] Despite this – and despite the fact that Junkin was not part of the defense that gave back 24 points in less than a half – Junkin took full responsibility and said that the Giants lost this game because of him.[3] This play ultimately became #10 on NFL Top 10’s Top Ten Meltdowns[4] and Top Ten Controversial Calls at #7.[5]”

    Just wow.

  15. 15.

    JPL

    @marduk: Deflategate was the biggest crock of made up crap, that I have ever read. In a perfect world, ESPN would have to read that article on air.

    The NYTimes haven’t written a lot of articles in defense of the Pats, so no one could accuse them of bias.

  18. 18.

    redshirt

    @JPL: The pats have completely shut out ESPN. Not one interview this year. Brady hasn’t given any on field interviews either.

    Fuck ESPN. Fuck Goodell. Go Pats.

  21. 21.

    yellowdog

    Brady’s support of Trump is enough for me to root for Denver. Do you want the Donald gloating about his good friend Tom Brady being in the Super Bowl?

  23. 23.

    dr. bloor

    Weird shit happens in Denver. Weird shit happens when Ed “LOOKIT MY GUNS!” Hochuli is the Head Zebra.

    I predict serious butthurt, regardless of the outcome.

  29. 29.

    Roger Moore

    @marduk:

    Speaking of insufferable New England fans, we’re not going to drop this until we get our draft picks back or Roger Goodell loses his job.

    And nobody else is going to drop spygate until Kraft and Belichick are run out of the league.

  30. 30.

    Wag

    @PaulW:

    So what you’re saying is that you want my Broncos to score 33 field goals? If the Broncos have as much trouble scoring TDs as they have had lately they don’t deserve a win

  31. 31.

    p.a.

    @redshirt: Pats will have to be +2 in turnovers and get at leas 10 pts from them. But be hopeful; last year I said if they fall behind Seattle by 10 they were doomed. Why I don’t bet.

  36. 36.

    Heliopause

    bad sketch art victim Tom Brady

    C’mon, this is a liberal blog. If you really want to leave a mark point out that he is golfing buddies with Donald Trump.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    Phil Simms is the fucking worst. No, Phil, you can not legally hold both arms if you’re within 5 yards.

  46. 46.

    Heliopause

    So far I haven’t seen a camera angle that settles it. Maybe after the commercial. Close.

  54. 54.

    p.a.

    Interesting note- on away games the NE radio broadcast is in synch with the TV feed so I don’t have to listen to Simms, but for home games it’s delayed.

  55. 55.

    Corner Stone

    Man that is some really bad juju. Football karma gods don’t like missed PATs in big game situations.

  58. 58.

    Tripod

    Broncos having trouble getting anything going on the ground. They want to keep Manning’s throw count down, so that’s not good.

  65. 65.

    Corner Stone

    Incredibly bad decision there.
    Also, too. Who ever the fuck is running the replays for CBS should be drawn and quartered by the Budweiser Clydesdales. Get on the fucking stick, jackass. Stop showing me the fucking blimp camera review.

  67. 67.

    Davebo

    How on earth did coaches coach before Microsoft Surface Tablets bought their way onto the sideline?

  70. 70.

    Heliopause

    @efgoldman:

    Baling wire and chewing gum. Seriously, he looks terrible, he’s just lobbing the ball to a spot where he hopes his receiver will be and it’s a big discredit to the Pats’ D that he’s right half the time.

  72. 72.

    JPL

    @efgoldman: If the headsets for one team go down during a game, both teams are required to play without them, but the same rule apparently does not require to the tablets.

  78. 78.

    Corner Stone

    Good thing it’s cloudy in Denver or else that scramble could’ve been timed by a sun-dial.

  84. 84.

    JPL

    @schrodinger’s cat: haha.. I decided to wait a few weeks and then drag myself to the mall. I hate malls.

    The amazing future daughter-in-law is starting to panic because we don’t have a place for the rehearsal dinner yet. The son did call a place and they said they could do a lovely job for 30k.. hahahahahahha

  92. 92.

    Nerull

    I wonder how picky the sponsors are. In pro-cycling it was common for sponsors to want them to use some piece of equipment of theirs, such as wheels. The riders would often have their own preferred equipment, so to make the sponsors happy they’d use the equipment they liked with the sponsors logo stuck on it with a sticker. Famous examples being Lance riding “Trek” wheels made by Litespeed, and the entire Huffy team and their “Huffy” bikes which had never seen a Huffy manufacturing facility.

  94. 94.

    schrodinger's cat

    @JPL: The best rehearsal dinner I had was at my friend’s wedding in Maine. It was an informal affair in her parents backyard and we had all you can eat lobster. Her mom is Norwegian so there were cousins from Norway.
    On her request I was wearing one of my silk sarees, a great time was had by all.

  96. 96.

    FlyingToaster

    @danielx: But he doesn’t need to.

    The problem at Foxborough is the new stadium’s interior metal framework happens to hit the standard headphone RF resonance frequency (-ies). To fix, move to DSS or DECT headphone technology, have a repeater at the sideline and a hardwire up to the booth(s).

    I have no idea what the problem is at Denver’s stadium, but being a tablet, I blame the IT guy, or Bill Gates.

  98. 98.

    JPL

    @schrodinger’s cat: If I could count on the weather, I’d do that. I might call and see if my septic can handle sixty to seventy five people. My ex and I are each chipping in five thousand so you would think you could do something. I could rent tents and unless we have a deluge, it would work.

  99. 99.

    JPL

    Although that was a clean hit, I hate to see Peyton on the ground, after the type of surgery he has had.

  103. 103.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Davebo: Chalkboards, and eyes up high that knew what to look for.

    It really doesn’t matter who wins this, both teams are lumbering, and neither can defeat the Panthers. The Real Su Perbowel is today’s NFC game.

  104. 104.

    Davebo

    @JPL: It’s fairly horrific what some people spend on weddings.

    My late wife and I spend < $500 and it lasted 23 years. A good friend threw over 50k at his and it lasted less than 3 years.

  106. 106.

    raven

    @BruceFromOhio: The NFL Says Goodbye to the Polaroid, Hello to Microsoft’s Surface Tablet

    The National Football League today announced a partnership with Microsoft (MSFT), through which coaches and officials will use Microsoft’s Surface tablets on the sidelines, potentially replacing coaches’ laminated playbooks and Polaroid images used by quarterbacks to figure out what went wrong on that last interception. The partnership also includes plans to use the Surface and next-generation Xbox game console for interactive viewing experiences for fans.

  107. 107.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Davebo: We got married for next to nothing at our friend’s house with one of the grad school officials officiating. My church-lady (more accurately its Hindu equivalent) M-I-L has still not forgiven me for that lapse.

  108. 108.

    Corner Stone

    Someone might want to tell Brady they are not in the Conference Championships for Stone Skipping.

  114. 114.

    JPL

    @schrodinger’s cat: That sounds like fun. I live north of Atlanta and renting a shuttle bus from the hotel, would still be cheaper than a restaurant in Atlanta. Roswell has an event facility on the Chattahoochee you can rent. We are going to look into that.

  115. 115.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Davebo:
    We got married for next to nothing at our friend’s house with one of the grad school officials officiating. My church-lady (more accurately its Hindu equivalent) M-I-L has still not forgiven me for that lapse. We trudged through a blizzard on foot to get the marriage license.

  116. 116.

    PaulW

    So what’s this about the Microsoft Surface tablets not working for the Patriots this first half?

    For you conspiracy buffs, I doubt it’s Denver or the NFL doing it. It’s obviously Samsung sabotaging them.

  117. 117.

    JPL

    @Davebo: Yes it is. My ex and I married in a chapel and his mom and step dad were our attendants. In LA you needed three attendants so the ministers wife, stood up for us.

  119. 119.

    PaulW

    Why did CBS play “Hotel California”? Is it a Glenn Frey tribute? Is it that whoever wins this AFC championship will stay at that hotel, where they can check out any time they like BUT THEY CAN NEVER LEAVE?!?!?!?!

  122. 122.

    Anoniminous

    @BruceFromOhio:

    Let us now endure A Few Minutes of Witty Banter With the Ex-Formers.

    Oh let’s not.

    That’s why Goddess, in her infinite wisdom, endowed us with the Mute Button.

  123. 123.

    FlyingToaster

    @Steeplejack (phone): No, just a toaster with a tablet. Though I’m on my soon-to-be-handed-down laptop at the moment.

    The problem is being a tablet in Denver’s stadium. Which I am nowhere near (thank goodness). If I were trying to deploy tablets in a big metal-n-concrete bowl, I’d be using some kind of shielding (metal plate?) to make the signal directional to the field, locked in MAC address & password authentication, and “ignore login requests outside of parameters”. Several hundred thousand phones are trying to log onto the WIFI network they’ve deployed, guaranteed.

    Note: I’m just a programmer, but I’ve dealt with this nonsense in all of the converted factory buildings that startups inhabit. Wireless is NOT a panacea.

  124. 124.

    FlyingToaster

    @efgoldman:

    If I didn’t know better, I’d think the fix was in

    Combination of playing a sea-level team at Mile High and Goodell’s instructions to the zebras. The fix was in a while ago.

  125. 125.

    Jerzy Russian

    @efgoldman:

    If I didn’t know better, I’d think the fix was in

    Yes, those referees are all over Brady, rushing him, sacking him, intercepting him, etc.

  127. 127.

    p.a.

    Denver getting pressure without blitzes. Hell, getting pressure rushing only 3. How was NE up 21-7 in that first game without both Edelman & Amendola?

  128. 128.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    I was going to start my chili at halftime, but it’s almost over. I guess I’ll just have a refreshing drink.

  129. 129.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Davebo: Simms is such an idiot. This does seem like a game that should be captioned the Duct Tape and Dex Bowl.

    OT, I hope 2016 is beginning better for you than last year ended.

  130. 130.

    Davebo

    @FlyingToaster: An old high school buddy of mine does nothing but create reports regarding wifi usage at NFL, MLB and NBA venues where AT&T provides the wifi.

    It’s amazing how much data people use when watching pro sports. I’m guessing fantasy sports has a lot to do with that.

  133. 133.

    raven

    @Davebo: At UGA they put up a ton off new antenna’s all around the top of the stadium to improve “the game day experience”.

  136. 136.

    Nerull

    I can’t imagine actually attending an NFL game without a smartphone. So much dead time where nothing is happening.

  143. 143.

    trollhattan

    This is the umpteenth playoff game this season where neither team looks of playoff caliber.

  149. 149.

    danielx

    @JPL:

    Be imaginative…we had two receptions the same day, the first at my mother in law’s house. That was self catered and dry, as the M-I-L was firm in her opinion that alcohol in any form was distilled satan piss. The second was at my brother-in-law and sister’s barn and was seriously un-dry, since for most of the attendees the day they attended a dry reception would have been their last day on earth. We rented portolets, since we knew the septic wouldn’t support the 60 to 80 who were there. Place had an outside faucet with pump handle and basin – it was a barn dance, it worked….Of course, this was early October. Only downside was the fee, which was having to help shovel forty years worth of old hay and batshit out of the hayloft so there was room to dance up there. Breathing mask job, but worth it – an extremely good time was had by all.

  151. 151.

    Jerzy Russian

    @gene108:

    Denver needs to score. Allowing Brady to hang around is usually a bad move.

    That’s the truth. The defense is doing well, but I would be more comfortable with a lead larger than 5 points. At the very least, the offense needs to hold on to the ball for more than 3 downs at a time.

  152. 152.

    Corner Stone

    @Davebo: How would anyone be able to tell? He’s been bouncing passes in front of his receivers all game. That was arguably no worse than some actual pass attempts so far.

  157. 157.

    Corner Stone

    The D’s are playing well for both teams but the offenses look like someone laced their oatmeal with ketamine.

  163. 163.

    Jerzy Russian

    Denver needs to run a serious amount of time off the clock after that stop. Scoring points would be nice also, too.

  164. 164.

    Corner Stone

    I’m not an ebil football genius but I don’t understand that play call. There are five minutes plus to go. if you kick the FG there and hold then you just need a TD to win. Now you have to hold plus get a TD and a 2 point conversion. And then stop DEN from getting a FG in the last two minutes.

  168. 168.

    Roger Moore

    @Corner Stone:
    The numbers are actually pretty good on going for it on 4th down there. If you make it, you have a great chance of getting the touchdown and being either down 2 or tied. If you don’t, you’ve left the other team with a long field, and you have enough time to stop them and get the ball back. It’s a vote of confidence in the Pats’ defense and of skepticism of their offense (or of fear of the Denver defense). Given how the Pats have been playing this game, that seems reasonable.

  172. 172.

    Corner Stone

    @Roger Moore: Sorry. The Pats have one TD off a short field TO and two FGs. Take the points there, get a D stop and then see how much time is left.

  174. 174.

    Corner Stone

    Yeah, you can’t turn the receiver sideways but that was also a very bad pass, again, by Brady. Is he hurt? Do we think we will find out later he’s playing with a separated shoulder or blown RC?

  176. 176.

    Corner Stone

    Now you have to go for it, you have no choice. If it was 15 to 20 there would be options.

  177. 177.

    Roger Moore

    @Corner Stone:

    The Pats have one TD off a short field TO and two FGs.

    But that’s exactly the point. They need to score a TD to have a realistic chance of winning, and TD chances have been thin on the ground for them. They couldn’t afford to settle for a FG, since there’s a good chance they won’t get another decent shot at a TD. When you’re down by 8 with that little time left in the 4th quarter, you have to take some risks.

  178. 178.

    Corner Stone

    @Roger Moore: Sorry. As I just said, 15 to 20 with 2:30 and the two minute warning is a different ball game. They could make it one FG to win here and get Brady the ball back with a two minute drill to win.

  181. 181.

    Corner Stone

    They could be in the exact same place but down by a FG, just closer to the two minute warning and using a TO or two.

  186. 186.

    Corner Stone

    Three go-fors on 4th down in the last six minutes. Sorry, that’s a problem.

    WOW! Great catch!

  188. 188.

    Davebo

    Brady seemingly can’t buy an intentional grounding call. That one was close at least as he may have been outside the tackle box.

  190. 190.

    gene108

    Should’ve been intentional grounding on Brady. Refs need to call it. Gets overlooked all the time.

  195. 195.

    Cacti

    I don’t know why everyone thought this would be a walk for NE.

    The one place Brady and Belichick have never done well together is Denver.

  214. 214.

    Joel

    That was a pretty great game. Still think — barring injury — the NFC takes the championship this year.

  215. 215.

    Joel

    @Mike J: Not sure. Patriots might have still gone for the win in the closing seconds. Although with Manning’s offensive ineptitude might have been safer to play for OT. Typically you go for the win on the road, though.

  216. 216.

    Jerzy Russian

    @redshirt:

    Patriots losses to Philly and Miami come home to roost.

    Yeah, the home field advantage is huge between these two teams. From the Bronco’s point of view, I am glad that home loss to Oakland did not bite them in the ass in the end. That was a winnable game for the Broncos.

  217. 217.

    Davebo

    Who knows, maybe Peyton can finally get his second SB ring. But honestly, I think he should try his best and then hang it up to take up selling pizza and insurance full time after this.

    Regardless of how SB50 turns out he has had a great career and as much as he annoys me at times one has to grudgingly admit that.

    I’d say he has little chance against Cam and Carolina but that Wade Phillips defense is pretty incredible.

  220. 220.

    Corner Stone

    @Davebo: The Denver D really played outta their minds this game. Kudos to them.
    But they will have a different struggle against a QB that didn’t acquire a fatal case of Happy Feet for this AFC Championship game.
    I think we will find out Brady is injured, and was prior to the game.

  222. 222.

    Heliopause

    Regardless of who wins the next game don’t expect a ton of points in the SB. It’ll be two top five defesnes either way and Peyton’s just barely holding it together.

  223. 223.

    Davebo

    @Corner Stone: I doubt it.

    Brady looked healthy to me.

    Good God! Annabel Bowlin should really avoid future plastic surgery as well a future public appearances.

  224. 224.

    Corner Stone

    @Davebo: He looked like shit. He skipped a dozen passes and had Happy Feet all game. That one play looked like a fucking Three Stooges skit. “Yea! Hey! Yeeeaaa! NOPE!”

  226. 226.

    Joel

    @Corner Stone: Can’t blame Brady for dancing when his tackles were getting beat on every snap. If it’s Arizona, I could see Palmer getting killed in the Superbowl. That said, I’m still 70-30 favoring the NFC (no matter who came out of the AFC this year). Just better rounded teams.

  227. 227.

    Bitter Scribe

    The game wouldn’t have been close if Brady ever got called for grounding. He could have been flagged on at least three plays that I saw.

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