All hail The Onion. It is important to point out they published this one week before the New Hampshire debate.
Dazed Marco Rubio Wakes Up In Koch Compound To Find Cold Metal Device Installed Behind Ear
UNKNOWN LOCATION—The brightly lit, stark-white room gradually coming into focus as he regained consciousness, GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio reportedly awoke in the Koch brothers’ secret compound Thursday and reached suddenly to his throbbing head to discover a cold metal device implanted behind his left ear.
As Rubio sat up slowly on a steel cot—the room otherwise empty except for a large Koch Industries logo emblazoned on one wall—sources said he was startled to hear a soothing voice reverberating inside his aching skull, evidently emanating from the smooth metal disk that he gingerly touched while panic began to well in his chest.
“Hello, Marco,” said the oddly familiar voice. “We are very pleased to have you as our guest. We have so much planned for you.”[…] “There’s no need to panic—you’ll be back to campaigning just as soon as our session is complete,” said the voice as Rubio searched in vain for a door or an exit of some kind along the room’s perfectly smooth walls. “Remember, what’s best for us is best for you, Marco. Now, let’s begin with an exercise on threats to American free enterprise and prosperity.”
Reports indicate that Rubio then saw the words “Now Importing Lesson” overlaid across his field of vision before hundreds of lines of conservative policy papers and essays relating to the detrimental effects of government regulation on business began scrolling in front of his eyes.
Here is an added bonus bleg for fans of geometry. I need to estimate the volume of a structure from two cross-sections. It is irregular but roughly an ellipsoid, and I can get one cross-section through its long axis. I can get another cross section at a 90 degree angle but I cannot change the axis of rotation (I do know what it is), so the second section will not necessarily bisect the ellipsoid through its shortest axis. Can anyone point me to a general equation for calculating this volume? Many thanks.