Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

“woke” is the new caravan.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Republicans in disarray!

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The willow is too close to the house.

No Justins, No Peace

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / Saturday Morning Funnies Open Thread

Saturday Morning Funnies Open Thread

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This post is in: ,

trump me phone backdoor ohman

(Jack Ohman via GoComics.com)
.

Apart from mocking the infinitely mockable, what’s on the agenda for the day?

trump las vegas marriage ramsey

(Marshall Ramsey via GoComics.com)
.

Reader Interactions

206Comments

  4. 4.

    Big Ol Hound

    Brings to mind a southern saying from a Navy buddy. “they’re barkin’ at the moon an drinkin’ RC cola” or just crazy as a shithouse rat.

  5. 5.

    p.a.

    Think on this: gvt. intelligence services worldwide have already, or are in the process of, creating policy forecasts for all these assclown in the event they win the presidency.

  6. 6.

    Derelict

    It’s interesting to consider the HUGE money flops of the last two campaign cycles. In 2012, Karl Rove raised nearly $1 billion, and had nearly zero results from his Crossroads group. Now, Jeb’s Right to Rise breaks fundraising records and also has zero results.

    Can the GOP megadonor class be that dumb to fall for this again in 4 years? Stay tuned!

  7. 7.

    magurakurin

    @p.a.: People in Japan are getting really worried about Trump. They are basically all “whaaaat the fuck!”

    Hillary Clinton is the only thing standing between the world and a genuine Trumpmare from which we might not wake up should it come to pass.

  9. 9.

    bystander

    I wish Obama would address the Apple/FBI issue. I do not trust the FBI and Tim Appleboy discusses the matter in the most opaque terms. I cannot understand how the phone can’t be opened without jeopardizing everyone’s everything. I thinkObama could explain the dispute more clearly.

    As an inveterate teevee watcher, this whole thing has made me reconsider the probability of a laboratory like the one in CSI: Miami, with touch technology from Darth Vader’s Executor, run by models in Gucci and Lanvin.

  11. 11.

    benw

    I’m gonna order a Bernie for me and the bartender, but come November, either a Hillary or a Bernie sounds just fine.

    SANDERS/BARTENDER 2016

  13. 13.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @bystander:

    I think Obama could explain the dispute more clearly.

    I would not expect a Constitutional Law professor to understand the first thing about encryption technology. I rather suspect that the people explaining it to the FBI are the same ones explaining it to Obama. However this shakes out, a computer numbskull like me will never know if the resolution is right and fair.

  14. 14.

    Betty Cracker

    I’d replace Rubio’s cocktail entry as follows:

    Imitation Caribbean rum with copious splashes of water presented in a condensation-beaded juice-box by a hardworking bartender and whisked away by an underpaid hotel maid.

    @magurakurin: Nah. Pretty sure he’s a genuine leftier-than-thou asshole.

  15. 15.

    Raven

    It’s bright and sunny and I have to get on the pick and shovel to put in a new brick (concrete) sidewalk!

  17. 17.

    debbie

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Like a broken clock being right twice every day, even The Donald has brief moments of clarity. No one appreciates Romney’s opinions better than Romney.

  19. 19.

    DCF

    How an obscure adviser to Pat Buchanan predicted the wild Trump campaign in 1996
    https://theweek.com/articles/599577/how-obscure-adviser-pat-buchanan-predicted-wild-trump-campaign-1996

    [S]ooner or later, as the globalist elites seek to drag the country into conflicts and global commitments, preside over the economic pastoralization of the United States, manage the delegitimization of our own culture, and the dispossession of our people, and disregard or diminish our national interests and national sovereignty, a nationalist reaction is almost inevitable and will probably assume populist form when it arrives. The sooner it comes, the better… [Samuel Francis in Chronicles]

    With Donald Trump Looming, Should Dems Take a Huge Electability Gamble by Nominating Hillary Clinton?

    https://theintercept.com/2016/02/24/with-trump-looming-should-dems-take-a-huge-electability-gamble-by-nominating-hillary-clinton/

    In this type of climate, why would anyone assume that a candidate who is the very embodiment of Globalist Establishment Power (see her new, shiny endorsement from Tony Blair), who is virtually drowning both personally and politically in Wall Street cash, has “electability” in her favor? Maybe one can find reasons to support a candidate like that. But in this environment, “electability” is most certainly not one of them. Has anyone made a convincing case why someone with those attributes would be a strong candidate in 2016?

    Despite this mountain of data, the pundit consensus — which has been wrong about essentially everything — is that Hillary Clinton is electable and Bernie Sanders is not. There’s virtually no data to support this assertion. All of the relevant data compels the opposite conclusion. Rather than data, the assertion relies on highly speculative, evidence-free claims: Sanders will also become unpopular once he’s the target of GOP attacks; nobody who self-identifies as a “socialist” can win a national election; he’s too old or too ethnic to win, etc. The very same supporters of Hillary Clinton were saying very similar things just eight years ago about an unknown African-American first-term senator with the name Barack Hussein Obama.

  22. 22.

    bystander

    @OzarkHillbilly: Obama may not have the encryption chops, but his professorial side knows how to explain issues with logic and clarity. I have yet to hear or read a cogent analysis.

  25. 25.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    Remember how exciting this day was 8 years ago.

    We were all on the edge of our seats, biting our nails.

    Expectations were very low: perhaps a narrow win, perhaps a devastating third loss in a row. And then this happened (photo)

  27. 27.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Get ready for the Great Christian Outrage:

    New Mexico teenagers can now exchange nude photos without fear of criminal prosecution under a new bill that legalizes sexting and could have national implications for laws on child abuse images.

    Governor Susana Martinez, a Republican, signed into law a proposal that allows people aged 14 to 18 to engage in consensual sexting, which means adolescents caught sharing explicit photos with each other will no longer risk facing “child pornography” charges, prison sentences and a damaging criminal record.

    “Kids will be kids, and they’re going to make mistakes,” said state senator George Muñoz, a Democrat who authored the legislation exempting sexting from child exploitation laws. “You can’t punish them for the rest of their lifetime with a charge of child pornography … if they’re consensually sending photos back and forth.”

    Next thing you know they’ll be passing out free condoms with cafeteria lunches.

  28. 28.

    Tripod

    The retro hipster brand (now reformulated contract brewed swill) is correct for Bernie, though Ballantine or Rheingold might be more accurate regional choices.

  32. 32.

    randy khan

    @bystander:

    This is a metaphor, but I think the gist is right: Imagine that iPhones (using the version of the operating system that’s on that iPhone) were closed with a special kind of screw that was designed not to be unscrewed. The FBI is asking Apple to build a new kind of screwdriver that would allow the screw to be unscrewed. Once you’ve made the screwdriver, it will work on any iPhone that uses that version of the operating system, and it’s hard to keep other people from getting their hands on it.

    Also, as the Apple brief points out, the FBI’s claim that this is a one-time-only deal is a lie. The FBI already has asked for the same thing in another federal court and several other law enforcement agencies have said they want Apple to enable them to unlock iPhones with this operating system.

  33. 33.

    satby

    Happy Saturday everyone. I have to drive into the city to show my daughter-in -law how to claim the mortgage interest on their taxes, this is the first year they can. I want to see if anything is salvageable from the garage, but my stuff was all shoved into the back where the tree came down so probably not. And I’m supposed to go to Puerto Rico next weekend for 3 days because I placed enough exchange students (my girls don’t count for me) that I “won” a trip to the national sales conference held there this year. But free trips still have expenses and I have to get a petsitter, and I’m thinking of not going. I look around at all the stuff I have to finish so I can move, and I’m still job hunting, and instead of looking forward to a break I just dread the thought of going.

  37. 37.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @randy khan: Sort of, or they could make the screwdriver work only on a single phone by tying it to the EIN and do that for each phone where they have a court order to allow unlimited password tries.

  39. 39.

    randy khan

    @DCF:

    Interesting comment about electability. I personally am of the view that Clinton is more electable, not so much because of the socialist thing specifically (although it’s part of the mix) but because I think that, compared to Sanders the likelihood that there will be something that can be used to attack her that isn’t well known already – and therefore already accounted for in her numbers – is much lower. Indeed, Sanders is benefitting in the primaries from that and from her decision to essentially not do any negative campaigning (especially not compared to what the Republicans are doing to each other). But that’s not based on polling data.

    The reality is that there’s electability risk to both of them, or to any candidate who hasn’t been elected President. Hers consists of things we know about; his consists of things we don’t really know about at this point. But I’d rather have the electability risk of either of them than the electability risk of any of the Republican candidates.

  40. 40.

    debbie

    @satby:

    Aside from the much better weather, the trip might be a chance to network with people who can maybe help you when you move to Florida.

  43. 43.

    randy khan

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    If you’re talking about the phone’s internal ID, which is part of the encryption, Apple doesn’t know it, so it can’t use it in the software the government wants it to make.

    If you’re talking about the ID used to identify the phone to the wireless network, that’s a trivial change in the software from one phone to another (like, oh, putting a dot on the screwdriver with a pencil, erasing it and adding a new dot – now I’m abusing the metaphor terribly, but you get the idea).

  44. 44.

    benw

    @satby:

    the Xtians are always outraged when sluts can’t be punished with life-long censure.

    My favorite passage in the New Testament is when Jesus said:

    “And thou shalt not give the young women,
    fed on the leavened bread from the land of Agog,
    And Ebuthalahm and Jehosaphat and Ib,
    And Eretria, blessed before the LORD,
    the birth-control pills or the HPV vaccine,
    lest they shall lay with men and know them.

    And these slutty sluts shall be an abomination
    before the eyes of the LORD, for ten years upon
    ten, and HE shall be wroth and turn from them.
    And they shall desire to wear slutty clothes
    when they are asking for IT, before which men,
    tilling the fields of Abyssinia, and shepherd of
    the goats and the sheep and the fatted cattle,
    are helpless and blameless.

    In the name of the almighty LORD, amen.”

  45. 45.

    Zinsky

    I’m really starting to worry that this Trump asshole is going to be president. He is going to insult Hillary to death (e.g. “ugly, old, pantsuit-wearing harpie with a rapist for a husband”) and I don’t think she has the rhetorical gifts to overcome it. Of course, the biggest problem is that 80% of the American populace is too goddamn dumb to see the problem with electing a filthy rich, film-flam man with the emotional maturity of an 8th grader. Count me as very fucking worried….

  46. 46.

    OzarkHillbilly

    This is reaching the point of obsession, I refuse to be defeated by WP which insists on eating this comment to that beloved commentor here who’s nym begins with an “S” and ends with a “y”… For the 5th time

    FYWP, if at first I don’t succeed…

    Go. Sounds like you could use a little break and that P R place is quite beautiful. While I am well acquainted with the feeling of dread before a trip I am ambivalent about, I am also on a first name basis with that feeling of utter relaxation that washes over me once I am removed from a stressful situation, even if it’s only for a few days. Rest, relax, recharge.

  47. 47.

    Another Holocene Human

    @magurakurin: imho that guy wishes he was getting paid to be a pain in the ass. Have you seen Bernie’s figures in Mass? I think that’s typical. Makes you wonder how the Dem party there nominated La Loser for governor and ended up with a RW Republican governor.

    I think their paid shills are on twitter and dKos–and the latter already has plenty of longtime users who aren’t Democrats, have been pushing the hospitality of their host, and were already going nuts on the Wrecks List before the shills turned up to stir the pot. I’d say tumblr but they’re plenty nuts on their own and you need to be under 18 to “get” it, which would disqualify the GOP. (I know there are people over 18 on there, always at risk of being drawn into some preteen larger than life drama and harming their careers … so why would you take the risk?)

  49. 49.

    Princess

    @Zinsky: If he attacks her for being an older woman, you are going to get the kind of backlash that elected Patty Murray and Carol Moseley Braun, except in every corner of the country. I cannot tell you how badly that is going to play with the older women who are the backbone of the electorate.

  50. 50.

    Another Holocene Human

    @magurakurin: Trump IS Benito Mussolini. Same insecurities, same obsession with YUUUUGE, KLASSY architecture, same sexual insecurities, same violent impulses, same bully nature. Fuck Donald Trump, and I pray those GOPers popping up saying they’ll vote for Hilary over Trumpenstein follow through. The truth is, we need to destroy Trumpism decisively, or we (and the rest of the damn world) are in for some shit.

    PS: Mussolini committed war crimes against a “dirtbag” nation–you really believe Trump won’t cover America in glory the same way?

  52. 52.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @OzarkHillbilly: I am using some magical combination of perfectly acceptable words that WP has banned using because it would probably get people too excited in an unhealthful way, so FOR THE 6TH TIME….

    Satby- Go. You need the break and PR is quite beautiful.

  53. 53.

    MattF

    @Zinsky: An old friend of mine from Minnesota keeps reminding me that Jesse Ventura was elected governor there. And Ventura:Trump as Lincoln:Nixon.

  54. 54.

    Nate Dawg

    My father-in-law calls Bernie a “Communist”, with no hint of irony.

    I think Trump would slaughter Bernie. Trump would yell COMMIE for 5 months straight, and turn Bernie into a weak-kneed, Commie Traitor who wants to raise taxes on middle class people (happens to be true, folks, happens to be true!) and bring back death panels for the olds.

    It would be a crushing defeat, and I’m really jealous of whatever drug the Sanders folks are ingesting, because damn I want some of that if they are so blitzed they can’t see this.

  55. 55.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Zinsky:

    Of course, the biggest problem is that 80% of the American populace is too goddamn dumb to see the problem with electing a filthy rich, film-flam man with the emotional maturity of an 8th grader.

    This is the same American populace that saw fit to elect a black man with a funny sounding name to the highest office in the land despite 1 of the most racist campaigns ever and after 4 years of even more racist demagoguery they saw fit to re-elect him and even now hold this black man with a funny sounding name in high esteem. Feeling better now?

  57. 57.

    Another Holocene Human

    @DCF: My days of not taking the Intercept seriously are coming to a middle.

    Bernie has his own donor/endorsement issues. He also has his own personal and family scandals. He has electability problems (including what comes out of his campaign and his own mouth, unfortunately). The Republicans have been helping him rather than releasing oppo because they would much rather run against him. You see, they already emptied their barrels on Hilary. There’s nothing left. (And even if there is, they’ve lost credibility crying wolf on Emailgate and Benghazi.) Her #s against Trump are based on voters knowing her very, very well. But Sanders? They’re preparing to destroy him. And he isn’t going to be able to take it. He couldn’t even handle leftie protesters at a leftie conference and bravely ran away. This so-called leftist couldn’t handle leftie activists.

    And what about the voters? He won’t explain his gun votes. He won’t explain his Gitmo vote. He attacks Hilary for stuff she was in the orbit of and he actually voted for. His entire campaign is based on grading himself and Hilary Clinton on different curves. It’s obviously working with the youth, but not with the little old ladies who march to the polls at every election on Team D.

  60. 60.

    Another Holocene Human

    @bystander:

    I have yet to hear or read a cogent analysis.

    Me either. I’ve been out of computers for a while, so take that with a grain of salt, but what the geeks are spouting all over the internet doesn’t match the court documents. I think both sides are being strategically dishonest. I think judges have come a long way on these issues and hopefully the judge will make a good decision.

    Doesn’t help that every time this issue comes up you get the cranks who think that “citizens” (what does that word mean, again?) should be able to resist and defy LAWFUL search warrants.

  61. 61.

    elm

    @bystander: The FBI wants to compel Apple to create a tool to help bypass encryption on an iPhone and short circuit technical data protections.

    If Apple agrees or loses, the FBI will have that tool forever.

    This case isn’t about one particular phone. It is about creating a technical backdoor for every iPhone.

  63. 63.

    Another Holocene Human

    @randy khan: Well, the FBI backed off of that position in court. Yes, there are other cases because law enforcement apparently bricks iPhones a lot.

  64. 64.

    WaterGirl

    @satby: Go to Puerto Rico!!! You deserve it. Besides, you might meet someone on the plane who has the perfect job for you in Florida.

    How much are you short expense-wise?

    edit: written before I saw debbie’s comment!

  65. 65.

    Bartholomew

    Hey! How’re the Progressives for Wall Street doing?

    Interesting to see black voters lined up with the leftists this go-round … this is surely a great indication of political saavy. African Americans are a population with excellent political instincts, especially the churchy old women that helped the Religious Right take over. Good to see that talent being made use of.

    It’s a touching reminder of how the blacks flocked to support the Republicans in order to marginalize and beat down the gays. Old times there are not forgotten.

    Say it after me, “I blame Ralph Nader!” Hahaha. Ha. Vote for Hillary, it’s HER turn.

    Use this opportunity to spew and fling your well-traveled poo, or if that’s too much, just ignore and keep whistling, Big Sister has this for you.

  68. 68.

    DCF

    @magurakurin:

    Here’s the deal:

    Sanders’ proposals/policies are truly progressive, and ‘establishment’ media types (pundits, economists, and politicians) see the depth and breadth of those changes as threatening – to their own positions within the current power structure. Remember the (initial) rampant dismissal of his economic plan(s) as ‘fairy tales’ et al? Well, as time has passed, it is clear that the economists who criticized the plan(s) did not even run ‘…Sanders’ proposals through their own economic models to see if the results differed from Friedman’s. They just followed the White House advisers’ letter and went ballistic.’

    “Tribalism And Intellectual Dishonesty”

    William K. Black looks at this attack on Sanders, through Friedman, at New Economic Perspectives in “Krugman and the Gang of 4 Need to Apologize for Smearing Gerald Friedman“:

    If you depend for your news on the New York Times you have been subjected to a drumbeat of articles attacking Bernie Sanders – and the conclusion of everyone “serious” that his economics are daft.

    [. . .] Orthodox economists just hate the results of Friedman’s model, for the results support Bernie, rather than Hillary. Worse, they show that orthodox economists’ claims that the government can do little good is a myth. They set out to kill the messenger, Friedman, even though Friedman shares their support for Hillary.

    [. . .] Friedman’s modeling of Bernie’s plan is so terrifying … because it shows – under the orthodox economic models – that the government can be a powerful engine of producing “huge beneficial impacts.” What is required is that our President has the nerve to junk the orthodox economic myths. …

    Notice that they do not claim that Friedman’s “arithmetic” is inaccurate in the sense of making a computational or data input error. Nor do they attack his use of the conventional models they embrace. No, their criticism is that they hate the results of Friedman’s accurate arithmetic. They point out no errors in Friedman’s arithmetic. There is no indication that they ever checked out the accuracy of how he modeled the impacts of Bernie’s plans.


    What the Mainstream Media Won’t Tell You About Bernie Sanders’ Economic Plan
    Leading economist’s study shows the plan would create a stimulus, but the mainstream media isn’t covering it.

    http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/what-mainstream-media-wont-tell-you-about-bernie-sanders-economic-plan?akid=14016.79208.7xQpbC&rd=1&src=newsletter1051500&t=12

    IMV, the Democratic Party has become stale and ossified since the advent of DLC/Third Way policies, and needs to return to its roots.
    If HRC is the Democratic presidential nominee – and loses to Trump/Cruz/Rubio in the GE – the ‘disruption’ that is currently evident in the Democratic race will become a movement of much greater magnitude (and influence) over the next four years (and beyond)….

  69. 69.

    satby

    @WaterGirl: the Juice consensus says go, so I’m going. Ironically, as we were discussing this I got a sale on Amazon on one of my vintage store’s items. I’m taking it as a sign ?

  70. 70.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Zinsky: Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are both YUUUUGE narcissists, except that Bill Clinton is galaxies more intelligent than Donald is.

    Hilary Clinton has been handling Bill for years. Hell, she destroyed Trey Gowdy only a few months ago (granted, he sucks). I think she can take on the Insult Comic Tan.

  72. 72.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @satby: Oh, what I tried to say was far more poetic and apparently not at all proper to say to a woman not my wife.

  75. 75.

    Another Holocene Human

    @DCF: None more tribalistic than the angry left. Keynes says the government can be an engine of economic growth. That’s economic fucking orthodoxy. Come on, now.

  76. 76.

    Chyron HR

    @DCF:

    Apparently you didn’t get Tad’s latest memo. Today you guys are supposed to drop the “true progressive economics” thing and start raving about how much you hate blacks.

  79. 79.

    satby

    @Baud: I know…I’m having a first world problem on a third world income. The break would do me good; the girls too because they’ll stay with my son and daughter-in-law in Chicago and experience life for a few days in a urban community.

  80. 80.

    DCF

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Given this barrage of inaccurate and misinformed drivel, I honestly don’t know where/how to begin responding to this pile of manure…HRC is a deeply-flawed candidate who (I can easily imagine) will return to her corporatist and hawkish roots (should she win) by signing the TPP and ‘bargaining’ with the Republicans to reduce programs like Social Security and Medicare….

    Should she lose to whatever candidate the Republican Party regurgitates this Fall, Katie bar the door – because the changes (within the Party) will be fast and furious (beginning with the removal of DWS)….

  81. 81.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @satby: Meh. Once upon a time I was something of a word smith. Every now and again I have a flashback and I try to use words in a creative way when it isn’t necessary. I will work a simple 3 sentence comment over 4 or 5 times to get just the right inflection into it. Not exactly a good use of time.

  82. 82.

    Mai.naem.mobile

    Ted Cruz really should be a screwdriver with some Canadian sourced bitters. Hell,all the GOP candidate cocktails should have some bitters.

  84. 84.

    DCF

    @Chyron HR:

    You misidentify us…that was Bill (and Hillary’s) ‘thing’ eight years ago, remember?…the Clintons, IMV, are not – based on history – the best advocates for the AA community….

  86. 86.

    satby

    You all play rough with the trolls for me, off to make some lip balm that I promised to post three days ago before I got sick. BTW, if anyone else catches that nasty bug, it’s vicious but short duration.

  88. 88.

    Chyron HR

    @DCF:

    B-b-b-but eight years agoooooooo!

    You might be more convincing if not for one of your fellow true believers screaming that Black voters are scum just upthread.

  89. 89.

    DCF

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Have you been in stasis since 1981? Miss the ‘Reagan Revolution’, where government is ‘the problem’ and free market/trickle-down economics has ruled the roost for the last thirty-five years? Austerity economics have proven to be a colossal failure, and directly led to the wealth/income disparities of today.

    Here is the link (again): http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/what-mainstream-media-wont-tell-you-about-bernie-sanders-economic-plan?akid=14016.79208.7xQpbC&rd=1&src=newsletter1051500&t=12

  90. 90.

    Another Holocene Human

    @DCF: Wow, is this like bingo–I didn’t even know there was a “manure” space? I mean DWS–ding! (Oogo booga) Bargain away social security–ding! Lose to GOP–ding! “Deeply-flawed”–ding!

    Argle bargle hot applesauce.

  91. 91.

    Gelfling545

    @Zinsky: If this country elects Trump it will not be because of any “electability” problem on the part of Clinton or Sanders. It will be due to an active desire on the part of a significant section of the population to actually have a narcissistic bully in office. There is no candidate the Dems could offer who could defeat that desire. We can only hope to defeat them with gotv.

  92. 92.

    Another Holocene Human

    @DCF: You are aware that the Keynesian school is the mainstream school in economics and the Austrians are the dissidents, right?

  93. 93.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Gelfling545: We can only hope to defeat them with gotv.
    We can only hope to defeat them with gotv.
    We can only hope to defeat them with gotv.
    We can only hope to defeat them with gotv.

  98. 98.

    Another Holocene Human

    @DCF: Clinton has shown that she can learn and change. More than I can say for Sanders at this point. I gave that man a chance … but evidently he’s never wrong. Ever.

  102. 102.

    ThresherK

    @OzarkHillbilly: Well, remember when it comes to a “good use of time”, I don’t know what kind of writing you do except for in this space, but that cliche “It’s easier to write long than write short” exists for a reason.

  104. 104.

    Chyron HR

    And since DCF brought it up, how completely incompetent do you have to be to lose African-American voters to Hillary by a wide margin after her race-baiting 2008 campaign? Does Sanders just have too much “integrity” to pretend to care about a large Democratic voting bloc?

  106. 106.

    magurakurin

    @DCF: here’s the deal, for better or worse Sanders isn’t going to win, so none of it matters. Life sucks I guess.

  107. 107.

    DCF

    @Chyron HR:

    Two things (that are blindingly obvious to most sentient humans):
    1) ‘Bill and Hill’ are ‘known’ to the AA community – as in name recognition, if not in-depth policies; and
    2) Sanders is not….

  108. 108.

    DCF

    @magurakurin:

    The progressive movement will not ‘end’ with the success or failure of the Sanders campaign. HRC will, in all likelihood, be the nominee…the interesting part will be the fallout from her nomination/election, should she win (or lose)….

    Here’s a thought experiment:
    Listen to HRC and Sanders speak…then note how many times each candidate says ‘I/me’ or ‘us/we’…it’s telling, in several ways….

  110. 110.

    Princess

    @DCF: The fact that most of them voted against her in ’08 gave Bernie a huge opening with them. An opening he wasn’t able, so far, to capitalize on. I bet most of the voters who are voting for her today in SC don’t think of themselves as Hillary voters. They, like a lot of around here think of themselves, if they think this way at all, as Obama voters, who wanted to see which candidate would carry Obama’s mission forward. That Sanders has not (it seems) been able to convince these Obama voters is down to nobody but him.

  111. 111.

    DCF

    @Princess:

    I believe the Sanders campaign has failed to emphasize the idea that he would ‘call and raise’ (to use a card metaphor) upon the Obama legacy, versus HRC’s ‘hold ’em’ approach.

    Incrementalism – particularly as it relates to issues like climate change – is IMV inadequate to the task(s) at hand….

  112. 112.

    magurakurin

    @DCF: so I guess we can look forward to you continuing to teach us sheeple what the deal is. So, there’s that.

  113. 113.

    DCF

    @Chyron HR:
    What does it say about the AA voting cohort that – after ‘race-baiting’ their way through the 2008 election process – the Clintons would benefit from its support in 2016?

    Maybe Thomas Frank needs to write a sequel to What’s The Matter With Kansas?….

  114. 114.

    Mike J

    @Princess: The fall campaign could come down to who hates Obama more, the Republicans or Bernie? If you’re running on repeal and replace and overturning everything Obama has done, why would you vote for the guy who only dislikes him a little?

  115. 115.

    Baud

    @DCF:

    What does it say about the AA voting cohort

    If I were to suspend my own judgment and vote in accordance with a cohort of voters, I would choose that cohort.

  116. 116.

    Chyron HR

    @DCF:

    What does it say about the AA voting cohort

    You obviously have an opinion on the topic. Please share it. Explicitly tell us “what’s the matter” with African-Americans.

    (P.S. Isn’t it funny how quickly “Nuh-uh the Clintons are the REAL racists” turned into a Bundy-esque lecture about what’s wrong with The Negro?)

  117. 117.

    TallPete

    @MattF: MN has a @MattF: MN has a history of strong third party candidates to challenge the establishment candidates. Sanders has a good shot at winning MN. Trump will take the R primary.
    Ventura won a 3-way contest for MN Gov in 1998 with 37%. He turned out to be an decent Gov despite a lot of bickering with both parties. He was progressive on many issues including mass transit, support of LGBT, legalizing marijuana, reforming prop tax sys, funding public schools.

  120. 120.

    GregB

    @DCF: A few days after she lost the nomination she gave a full endorsement to Obama. I was in the field in Unity, N.H. when that occurred.

  124. 124.

    rikyrah

    @David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch:

    Remember how exciting this day was 8 years ago.

    We were all on the edge of our seats, biting our nails.

    I wanted to say that you were wrong…But, you weren’t. We WERE nervous…

    and then the returns came in and he didn’t just win..he STOMPED HER.

    And, it seemed like the wind was back in the sails….but, more importantly, South Carolina is the moment where I believe Black America said ‘ we ‘re gonna ride this thing and see how far he can go.’

    there was no turning back after South Carolina.

    I remember the night of South Carolina, there were two pictures.One was of a young man, dressed clean but modern, and had the coolest sunglasses on. He was 18.

    The other was of two Elders at the Obama rally. They were sitting there in their Sunday best.

    For me, that summed up his entire campaign.

  126. 126.

    DCF

    @Chyron HR:

    Yes, I do…the white working-class cohort have been voting against their own interests for years, focusing on issues like ‘choice’ (the lack thereof), ethnic fear(s), the ‘gay agenda’ and the like….

    The Clintons are a ‘known’ quantity to the AA cohort – and despite the ‘welfare reform’ and ‘criminal justice’ policies enacted by WJC in the nineties, and videos such as this one, feels they are the ‘best bet’ in 2016:
    NEW VIDEO from BLM activist Ashley Williams is MUST SEE
    http://www.democraticunderground.com/12511346920

  131. 131.

    magurakurin

    @DCF: I think you are a ratfucker sent to stir up the shit. So, good luck with whatever your mission is. Cheers.

  133. 133.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    huh, the masks seem to be slipping off the Bernie-bot(s).

    Maybe Thomas Frank needs to write a sequel to What’s The Matter With Kansas?….

    the sad thing is, I can fully imagine Thomas Frank at least writing a book proposal along those lines

  135. 135.

    ruemara

    @Another Holocene Human: Thank you for saying it.

    I’m just going to add, no matter who wins the primary will win the general, because if you think a majority of Americans want to be ruled by anyone on the GOP side, you’re thinking wrong.

  142. 142.

    A Ghost To Most

    MSNBC just quoted the goggle-eyed snapping turtle as saying that the GOP would run away from tRump if he is the nominee.

  143. 143.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Another Holocene Human: And what about the voters? He won’t explain his gun votes. He won’t explain his Gitmo vote.

    He won’t explain his call to primary Obama in 2012. His waving-away in the town hall last week was incredibly disingenuous (to be kind). “That was many years ago…”, the last election cycle, “on a radio show”, I don’t know if he’s dismissing the medium or the show, but the fact that Thom Hartman probably can probably count his national audience in 5 digits doesn’t change the fact that St Bernard said it on what used to be his biggest media platform (and you gotta wonder how Hartman felt about that, given that he’s been trying to be a surrogate for the Blessed One, but he was probably following strangers around telling them about a book he wrote and didn’t hear).

  144. 144.

    Bobby Thomson

    @DCF: I urge you to whitesplain that to all those ignorant voters. That can only persuade them you are right.

  145. 145.

    LAC

    @OzarkHillbilly: thank you! Please, now it is whether trump insults Clinton as the determinant of the election? It takes a coalition of people to win in the general election, and a whole lot of us: women, black ,Hispanic and Asian and a good amount of white men do not vote on the basis of who does “the dozens” better.

  146. 146.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @A Ghost To Most: has anyone pointed out that McConnell’s SC stunt and Donald Trump are fruits of the same tree, a tree planted by Eric Cantor and Yertle himself on Inauguration Eve (IIRC) , 2009

  147. 147.

    Bobby Thomson

    @DCF: and here’s a preview of what’s to come. Since St. Bernard can do no wrong it’s all the fault of those stupid voters they aren’t voting for him. Please proceed.

  149. 149.

    Thoroughly Pizzled

    Bernie’s implicit goal has been to resurrect the old Democratic coalitions and bring the Reagan Democrats back into the fold. I think that’s one reason why his minority support has been… lacking, at best.

  150. 150.

    Chyron HR

    Chin up, DCF, the SC primary isn’t even over yet! Bernie’s “Those schvartzers will do whatever a rap musician tells them to” strategy could finally pay off in a big landslide today!

    Don’t stop believin’, hold on to that feelin’, bro!

  151. 151.

    Elizabelle

    I’m glad to see you guys taking on DCF.

    I have been wondering “ratf*cker” for some time now. Also on the NY Times reader comments threads (although there is plenty of genuine sentiment there too).

  152. 152.

    ruemara

    @DCF: SCHIP? Actually going to Flint to ask what she can do? AA voters sorta look on that as something. Embracing the ACA? Big something. Not running on being better than Obama while appropriating his slogan (poorly), fired up & ready to go as well, right down to to the font while using two big dumbasses who have been using some pretty nasty racial slurs to deride Obama? Amazing how that makes Hillary look better. The Bernie campaign thinks it’s speaking truth to power when it’s really speaking pablum to liberaller than thou folks. Largely white. And that too, plus Bernie’s failure to adjust and deal with black community concerns like it’s not a rude bother to him, that got noticed.

    The elevation of a well meaning college radical young man with good instincts on what was right at the time to a colleague of MLK with a key role in the civil rights movement… Bad, bad idea. That white savior role is exactly why Lewis was pissed. It could have been fine right at the level it was. Blowing it up, also not what AA voters are looking for.

    @Chyron HR: I keep hearing that it’s pandering. Yay for the outreach.

  153. 153.

    Anya

    @Zinsky: Trump is a sexist asshole who has two court records where women, including a former wife are accusing him of rape and sexual harrasment. I am sure the Clinton campaign is doing opposition research as we speak. Once his past comes to light he won’t have a leg to stand on. As for his insults, Hillary is already proficient in dealing with B are Bill’s stuff. In terms of Trump calling Hillary names, I think that would backfire on him. A candidate might use sexual insults in a national forum with the GOP base but it won’t work in the general election .

  154. 154.

    Elizabelle

    I don’t think Americans are feeling secure enough to give a huckster the keys to the White House.

    Part of me still thinks part of Trump’s schtick started out as performance art, and he got sucked into his own act when he realized the rubes were hungry for it.

    Trump’s voters are deeply disaffected and looking for magical quick fixes. Or just the usual Republican base. In either case, they don’t seem bright enough to ask who/what actually delivered them into their unstable situations, and how to go about effecting actual improvement. They’ve been radicalized by Fox News and rightwing radio.

    MurdochWorld and LimbaughLand have a lot to answer for.

  156. 156.

    Fair Economist

    @DCF: This business about Hillary “bargaining” with the Republicans to cut Medicare or Social Security is unadulterated crap, Her husband, who’s definitely less liberal that she, in 1996, when they and the Dem party were substantially less liberal than now, SHUT DOWN the government for almost a month to stop cuts to Medicare, and was rewarded for it politically. Hillary will fight tooth and nail to her last breath to stop Medicare or SS cuts.

  157. 157.

    Elizabelle

    That cocktail menu is brilliant. Thank you for posting it.

    Will be thinking of more apt beverages for Rubio and Cruz today. Rubio’s may not be an adult one.

  158. 158.

    Anya

    @DCF: Remember when media hacks and republicans used to obsess over counting how many times President Obama used the first person singular–including the pronouns “I” and “me” in a speech?

  160. 160.

    The Sheriff Endorses Baud 2016

    @ruemara:

    The elevation of a well meaning college radical young man with good instincts on what was right at the time to a colleague of MLK with a key role in the civil rights movement… Bad, bad idea.

    Let’s just start with a Brooklyn-born Jew who decided to spend most of his life in white bread Vermont. Keep that 100 and see what you get. Sanders needed to do far far far more to gain the trust of black America.

  161. 161.

    rikyrah

    snicker snicker snicker

    ………………….

    Inside the Republican Party’s Desperate Mission to Stop Donald Trump

    By ALEXANDER BURNS, MAGGIE HABERMAN and JONATHAN MARTIN
    FEB. 27, 2016

    The scenario Karl Rove outlined was bleak.

    Addressing a luncheon of Republican governors and donors in Washington on Feb. 19, he warned that Donald J. Trump’s increasingly likely nomination would be catastrophic, dooming the party in November. But Mr. Rove, the master strategist of George W. Bush’s campaigns, insisted it was not too late for them to stop Mr. Trump, according to three people present.

    At a meeting of Republican governors the next morning, Paul R. LePage of Maine called for action. Seated at a long boardroom table at the Willard Hotel, he erupted in frustration over the state of the 2016 race, saying Mr. Trump’s nomination would deeply wound the Republican Party. Mr. LePage urged the governors to draft an open letter “to the people,” disavowing Mr. Trump and his divisive brand of politics.

    The suggestion was not taken up. Since then, Mr. Trump has only gotten stronger, winning two more state contests and collecting the endorsement of Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey

  165. 165.

    magurakurin

    @Elizabelle: I’m done with the Sanders arguments, ratf#cking notwithstanding. Clinton will be the nominee, for good or ill, and Trump is the enemy. Anyone who wants to help take down Trump is a friend. To anyone else there is nothing left to say.

  166. 166.

    The Sheriff Endorses Baud 2016

    @Elizabelle: Trump has had the run of the worst field of candidates a major party has put up since 1984, if not 1972. Reagan and Obama both had some party support going into their races, Trump only now is starting to pick up remoras and cranks. His run for the top is cracking the party apart between the 27% fascists and the 20+% bolsheviks. (With a Vulcan salute to Mumphrey for the analogy.) You have Senator Yertle planning to make Trump a one-term President too.

    We’ve always taken it for granted that Republicans fall in line, but we’ve never seen it at such an extreme as now. How does Ohio vote if Donald Trump and Rob Portman are running at opposite ends of each other? What if they’re actively taking shots at each other?

    And I haven’t even gotten to putting all that up against Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

    There’s a reason the GOP Establishment(tm) is shitting bricks. Many many reasons, but they all come back to Trump.

  167. 167.

    Fair Economist

    @magurakurin:

    Clinton will be the nominee, for good or ill

    There may be noises coming out of the shell, but that chicken hasn’t quite hatched yet. Maybe after March 2 and the SEC primary you can say that, but not quite yet.

  168. 168.

    Fair Economist

    @The Sheriff Endorses Baud 2016: Yertle may be swearing enmity to Trump now, but will he still be in September? If there’s warfare between him and Trump his Senate majority is toast. His only chance at that point will be to whip everybody in line with Trump and hope Trump doesn’t sink the whole Republican boat. Regardless of whether his chances will be good or bad, that will be his only chance and he’ll take it.

  169. 169.

    Baud

    @The Sheriff Endorses Baud 2016:

    Trump has had the run of the worst field of candidates a major party has put up since 1984, if not 1972.

    The term you are looking for is “deep bench.”

    Or as Chuck Todd put it

    I don’t want to see the Republican primary race or any presidential race turn into a three-ring circus and us, you know, sitting there going isn’t this great? And look at the shiny metal objects. It’s not fair to what is the strongest Republican party presidential field in 36 years.

  174. 174.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mike R: Michael Grunwald, unfortunately of Politico, is reading what he calls a lame book on Obama. He hasn’t said, but his readers suspect it’s Chuck Todd’s “The Stranger” or Outsider or whatever his book-length whine about Obama not reaching out is called

    Michael Grunwald ‏@ MikeGrunwald
    I’m reading the sloppiest Obama book ever. Errors on almost every page but the best is calling Paul Cellucci a “Boston Brahmin” type.

    Still reading this lame book. The author genuinely seems to think the purpose of passing legislation is to enhance presidential popularity.

    Book says immigration reform failed because O only got 68 senators, “not the 80-plus votes that could have provided real cover for Boehner.”

    Now book attacks Obama’s “non-action” on gun control AFTER the 2013 gun control bill died. That bill was, like, action.

  175. 175.

    The Sheriff Endorses Baud 2016

    @Fair Economist:

    Yertle may be swearing enmity to Trump now, but will he still be in September? If there’s warfare between him and Trump his Senate majority is toast.

    And if he swears fealty to Trump, his Senate majority is still toast. Hell, if Trump remakes the GOP into his own image, McConnell’s toast regardless. Fighting tooth and nail is the only way he’s going to hang on to what power he has.

  176. 176.

    Chyron HR

    @Bobby Thomson:

    That’s only if you include votes from people who are too dumb to support Sanders. The unskewed primary results show that he’s going to win this in a landslide.

  179. 179.

    Matt McIrvin

    @OzarkHillbilly: Trump is bringing out first-time voters who were too discouraged to vote in ’08 or ’12; he speaks to them in ways other Republicans didn’t. I think he’s the angry racist white people’s Obama. The question is just whether there’s enough of them.

  180. 180.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @Elizabelle:

    Trump’s voters are deeply disaffected and looking for magical quick fixes. Or just the usual Republican base. In either case, they don’t seem bright enough to ask who/what actually delivered them into their unstable situations, and how to go about effecting actual improvement.

    Trump’s voters know exactly what they’re voting for – to keep those people from getting gubmint goodies. That’s what they’re getting from Trump – unfiltered eliminationist rhetoric. As long as they get that, Wall Street will be safe. Big gubmint – the one that includes those people – is their enemy. That’s the deal they know they’re making.

    On the left, the disaffected whites want much bigger government, but aren’t able to identify the root cause of why they can’t have nice socialist things.

  181. 181.

    gex

    @randy khan: Besides, it would be very easy to, once the software exists, reverse engineer it and rebuild it so you can put whatever EIN in you want. The idea of tying the software to an EIN would make it rather trivial to break that feature and use it on any iPhone.

  183. 183.

    Elizabelle

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne: Good morning.

    I don’t think the appeal is solely racial, although Trump has certainly locked up that segment of voters. (If they’re not worshiping Cruz or Rubio, that is, because Trump is too unclassy to be seen in public with.) It’s too pat.

    It’s economic malaise, and lack of hope, and fear of personal loss of social standing. The Great Recession may technically be over, but we’ve had a pretty frail recovery if you’re looking for good jobs. Neither Obama nor anyone will admit that, but it’s true. White people dying younger than their parents, and people over 40-50 not being able to find jobs — that is destroying hopes in families that used to skate past.

    ETA: Also, they know their kids have got a rougher path. College and healthcare are so much more expensive than just 15-20 years ago. Getting that first big job is harder, and it’s insane how many unpaid internships — that used to be entry level jobs — are out there. Who can afford it?

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’re seeing so many multiple-vic shooting this year either.

    Anxiety and uncertainty and — for many, depression — is what’s floating through the atmosphere (and being actively sold by major media outlets). People sitting at home in front of TVs is good for their business model.

    I know a few Trump-curious types, and it’s flat out dishonest to call them racists. (Also dishonest to say they’re keeping much of an open mind and looking at Democrats, alas.)

  184. 184.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Anya: yeah, and they didn’t even actually DO the counting, they just made up assertions about it. Language Log had a lot of hilarious posts where they actually did the math and found that Obama didn’t even say “I” more often than any typical politician, and the measure didn’t mean anything anyway.

  186. 186.

    daves910

    @Raven: Beautiful here today. Garden cleanup and composting continues with emphasis on weeding the brick edgings. Crocus vernus and tomassianus are blooming everywhere-hurray for spring.
    On the other hand, the drought is back-no precip for almost a month and none in the forecast. SIGH.
    Went to kos for amoment. Not only is it rotten offensive, it’s also boring. All you have to do is read the poster’s names to know exactly what they think and say.

  187. 187.

    Elizabelle

    @Matt McIrvin: Only cuz sufficient “I”s weren’t loaded into his teleprompter. The White House is sneaky that way.

    Cuz the man cannot think on his feet or follow a thought to a logical conclusion, as we have seen for Obama, time and time again, no?

  188. 188.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @Elizabelle:

    Democrats haven’t won the white vote since the Voting Rights Act was passed. I’m convinced that no matter how bad white people feel about their circumstances, they will cling to their white privilege and their guns against any serious attempt at wealth distribution. White people could vote overwhelmingly for or against their economic self interest, but there’s a consistent majority who have for decades fought to maintain what little status they have. They crawl over glass to vote, hoping to reverse that trend, or at least throw sand in the gears of progress or in the alternative find a Bully who articulates their anger like Trump can. Big banks are somewhere at the bottom of their concerns.

  191. 191.

    Calouste

    The Rubio cocktail is a cardboard box for 18 year old MacAllan single malt whisky, that has a 20 oz bottle of Poland Spring water inside it.

  193. 193.

    Ruckus

    @LAC:
    Wondered what DCF stood for. Thanks for clearing that up.

    As others have said he seemed to be in the Sanders camp for some time, as one of those rather obsessed followers that annoy most people. But with just a little prodding his true colors seem to have floated to the top. I’d say one of the plants that have been discussed from the right to build up Sanders as someone they’d like to run against. Either that or an 18 yr old who is very conversant in republican talking points.

  195. 195.

    jc

    Ted Cruz as the zodiac … maybe. Cruz reminds me of Jack Ruby, greasy kid stuff, sleazy hidden connections, completely untrustworthy.

  196. 196.

    Zinsky

    @OzarkHillbilly: Man, I hope you are right. But I am feeling really cynical about the Ameican voting public right now. I am also really skeptical about the youth vote and the minority vote if Trump is the candidate for the GOP. I have a feeling that neither voting bloc will show up in great enough numbers to overcome the barbarians who will show up in throngs to vote for the fascist Trump. I’m feeling like this is 1930s Germany again and the blind lemmings are worshipping a cult of personality surrounding a power-mad sociopath.

  198. 198.

    Mike J

    @jc: And he did move to Texas, so it wouldn’t be impossible for him to have ties to organized crime in Dallas.

  202. 202.

    Disgruntled former Baud supporter

    Some Republicans and R-leaners will not hold their nose and vote for Trump, because he is too radical (his very candidacy is absurd), and these are conservative, risk-averse people.

    Some of them will never vote for Clinton because of the decades-long character assassination she’s been subject to. But others will, especially if that’s what it takes to stop Trump from blowing things up.

    These risk-averse voters are not likely to vote for Sanders, because he’s promising to stir shit up just like Trump is.

    I think that Clinton is a better candidate to run against Trump than Sanders for various other reasons as well, but I think she would be better at picking up the lower-case “c” conservatives who are genuinely appalled that Donald Trump is taking over their party.

  204. 204.

    bemused senior

    @elm: Not so. The FBI has asked Apple to provide an updated bios on one phone, not required to leave Apple’s premises.

    @bystander: The encryption key on that phone comprises a short numeric pin (6 digits) defined by the phone’s owner, together with a big number found in a chip on the phone and unique to that phone. The BIOS change that was requested was to remove the limit to the number of tries allowed when typing in the numeric pin so that the FBI could “brute force” the pin (i.e. keep guessing until they found the right 6 digit number). The phone in question is old (5c) and the mechanism asked for would not even work for later phones.

    This could be done by someone other than Apple reverse engineering the BIOS, but to load a new BIOS into the phone (which by the way must be done by connecting the phone to a computer with a USB cable, not over the network) the BIOS software must be cryptographically signed by a private key held by Apple.

    Bottom line: FBI hasn’t asked for a back door, and they haven’t asked to carry away the software to use it at will after the phone in question is examined.

  206. 206.

    DCF

    Well, I must admit that I clearly misjudged (some of) the commentariat on BJ – and to those people (you know who you are), I can only wish you the best and hope that your heads and hearts are someday open to all that is possible….

    Real change is difficult and inevitable, and fear wears many disguises. Here’s to your efforts at confronting both….

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