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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Late Night Open Thread: CPAC 2016 – There Will Be Blood Sweat &Tears

Late Night Open Thread: CPAC 2016 – There Will Be Blood Sweat &Tears

by Anne Laurie|  March 2, 201611:54 pm| 52 Comments

This post is in: Election 2016, Grifters Gonna Grift, Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republicans in Disarray!, Assholes, Decline and Fall, Good News For Conservatives, Romney of the Uncanny Valley

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Mitt will be handing these out before his speech: pic.twitter.com/FVUXqYVSQ5

— Jon Ralston (@RalstonReports) March 3, 2016

Professional cynic Jim Newell, in Slate, “CPAC Is Irrelevant”:

… To look at the schedule for the three-day conference is to look at a movement in denial. There’s no indication on paper that a television-performing nationalist is overthrowing conservatism as the engine of the Republican Party. One early Thursday panel, “Three Approaches to Conservatism,” featuring Sen. Ben Sasse, Rick Santorum, Sen. Ted Cruz’s chief of staff, and libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson, is probably not going to delve into the conservative literature behind Donald Trump’s approach of calling his rivals mean names on television. Speaker Paul Ryan’s session about conservative approaches to poverty will offer few ideas that migrate into Donald Trump’s nonexistent policy platform. The panel on “How to Grow Conservatism” will have its work cut out for it, now that Trump’s candidacy has revealed how the real motivating force behind the Republican Party is nationalism and #winning instead of ideological conservatism…

Expect Trump to be greeted with some coldness at CPAC when he delivers his speech Saturday morning. He will throw out some sops to conservatives, mostly about his immigration proposals. But he doesn’t need to. The conservative movement’s opinion is of little value to Trump. That is going to make this CPAC at once a historic snapshot of a movement in existential crisis, and unusually irrelevant to the outcome of the Republican presidential race...

Politico, of course, is extremely interested in the stage machinery behind Trump’s CPAC speech…

Donald Trump’s speaking slot at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Saturday is prompting an acrimonious backlash from the conservative critics desperately trying to mount a last-ditch campaign to block the GOP presidential front-runner from winning the party’s nomination.

A top aide to Trump rival Marco Rubio has accused CPAC organizers of being in the tank for Trump and clearing the way for his acceptance into mainstream conservatism, while an anti-Trump super PAC is pressuring organizers to rescind their invitation to the surging GOP front-runner.

Potentially complicating matters further, sources tell POLITICO that Trump has made multiple donations ― including a $50,000 check last year ― to the American Conservative Union, the group that organizes CPAC. That dwarfs the amounts donated in recent years by allies of Trump’s rivals, all of whom are also scheduled to speak at the annual gathering, and seems likely to fuel already percolating suspicions among his opponents that the ACU has its thumb on the scale for Trump.

Even by the standards of CPAC, which over the decades has been in the middle of more than its share of contentious fights about the future of the conservative movement, the one brewing around this year’s gathering is shaping up as historic ― and historically nasty…

Yeah, CPAC’s always been pay-to-play — but that Drumpf guy can afford to buy up all the slots! My heartstrings remain unplucked; if Donald Douchenozzle takes down the ACU on his voyage to damnation, that would be one small credit in his favor.

Today’s hot Repub topic Mitt Romney, Man on a Dancing White Horse, will not be at CPAC. Per the Boston Globe:

Mitt Romney is planning to give a speech on Thursday morning about the “state of the 2016 presidential race,” a further reflection of the 2012 Republican nominee’s efforts to influence a presidential contest that has been rocked by the rise of Donald Trump.

Romney is planning to speak from the Hinckley Institute of Politics at the University of Utah at 11:30 a.m., hours before the Republican presidential candidates gather in Michigan for another debate. It also comes two days after Trump swept up many state contests on Super Tuesday, including Massachusetts, where Romney governed for four years.

A source close to Romney said, “this is not an endorsement or announcement of candidacy,” adding that the former Massachusetts governor wanted to speak about “the state of the 2016 presidential race and the choices facing the Republican Party and the country.”…

The only actual sources I can find on Romney’s purported candidacy announcement are gauzy some people say wishcasts from the NYTimes and a frenetic “bombshell” from Infowars tying him to the Koch Brothers (which does not seem plausible, just from the personalties of the billionaires in question). Maybe my Google-fu just isn’t strong enough…

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Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    Howard Beale IV

    March 3, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Rumors are that the Rage Furby will be there.

  2. 2.

    rikyrah

    March 3, 2016 at 12:08 am

    The grift known as CPAC will be even more hilarious this year.

  3. 3.

    gf120581

    March 3, 2016 at 12:09 am

    I hoping Mitt does a speech like that Simpsons episode where Homer runs for sanitation commissioner, wins after running a ridiculous campaign, promptly gets Springfield buried in garbage, and then the town begs the old sanitation commissioner to come back. This is his speech:

    “Oh gosh. You know, I’m not much on speeches, but, it’s so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you’ve made. You’re screwed, thank you, goodbye.”

    Mitt, please do that, just for our amusement.

  4. 4.

    amk

    March 3, 2016 at 12:10 am

    romney retread IV ? that oughta warm the cock(le)s of rethugs.

  5. 5.

    Betty Cracker

    March 3, 2016 at 12:10 am

    An anti-Trump PAC is carpet bombing my teebee.

  6. 6.

    GregB

    March 3, 2016 at 12:11 am

    I was just reading over at Digby’s about the new Republican chairman of one of the largest counties in Texas. Add that with the gunslinging tea party State Rep. from NH just arrested for soliciting a minor and with a house full of drugs and guns and I am starting to think there is merit in the idea that when Hell is full the zombies will walk the earth.

    Trumpsters are going full on fascist at his rallies.

    Tune in for major ugliness to come.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    March 3, 2016 at 12:12 am

    The Romneytronic 3100 (new model!) isn’t going to announce his candidacy. He can’t compete in the primaries themselves (filing deadlines have come and gone for many many states), and if he intends to be the Man on the White Horse at the convention, declaring his candidacy now doesn’t further that.

    Sadly, I think this is just one more spasm in the ongoing death throes of the Republican Establishment. I’d love for it to be more dramatic, but I doubt it. Mitt’s going to decry the state of the Republican Race, invoke the Hillary Monster several times, and implore the multiple Other Candidates to merge into a single Not-Trump (and preferably Not-Cruz). And the actual candidates will ignore him, as will the voters.

  8. 8.

    Mary G

    March 3, 2016 at 12:13 am

    That sticker made me guffaw.

    @rikyrah: I might have to even watch a bit of it. Trump will slap them around until they all have the Christie look of doom on their faces.

  9. 9.

    Mike in NC

    March 3, 2016 at 12:14 am

    Could there be five people on the planet who give a shit what Mittens thinks?

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne

    March 3, 2016 at 12:16 am

    I have found the one drawback of using Overdrive to get ebooks from the library — it turns out that sometimes you’ve finished book 4 of a series at the same time everyone else did, so every other library in the area has a waiting list for book 5, so you can’t continue with the series until the logjam clears. Damn it.

  11. 11.

    dmsilev

    March 3, 2016 at 12:17 am

    @Mike in NC: His five sons? They at least have to pretend to care if they don’t want to get cut off from the MittMillions.

  12. 12.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 3, 2016 at 12:19 am

    @Howard Beale IV: With or without Hot Asian Wife?

  13. 13.

    chopper

    March 3, 2016 at 12:20 am

    love the sticker. from the intertron’s tubes to god’s ears.

  14. 14.

    gf120581

    March 3, 2016 at 12:22 am

    @efgoldman: Five sons. So yes, he’s got at least five. ;)

  15. 15.

    Tegdirb

    March 3, 2016 at 12:23 am

    @Mike in NC: He does have a big family.

  16. 16.

    Felonius Monk

    March 3, 2016 at 12:24 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    With or without Hot Asian Wife?

    Did Rage Furby buy himself an inflatable doll from the Far East?

  17. 17.

    Nate Dawg

    March 3, 2016 at 12:25 am

    Why is Ruboitoy’s establishment support so anemic. He can’t even get Mitt to come out in support of him.

  18. 18.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 3, 2016 at 12:27 am

    @efgoldman: I almost got run over by those sob’s; could be one of the reasons I went to UCLA.

  19. 19.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 3, 2016 at 12:29 am

    @Felonius Monk: No, he’s actually married to a woman of Indonesian origins. She’s apparently as nutty as he is.

  20. 20.

    WarMunchkin

    March 3, 2016 at 12:30 am

    I just spent a whole bunch of time helping people register to vote. Lots of people had no idea how to vote. Like, it genuinely did not occur to them that they could do voting.

  21. 21.

    Kropadope

    March 3, 2016 at 12:37 am

    If John D is here, I just wanted to make sure he saw this reply from an earlier, now dead, thread:

    Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act was neither a war nor anything but an unreserved good

    The Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act was passed in 2009 and signed by President Obama. This was after Clinton left the Senate. By the way, even though I knew this, I still looked it up including the role call on the vote. See? My research skills are just fine.

    as well as introducing the Paycheck Fairness Act

    So, as I was saying, she is unable to PASS good legislation.

  22. 22.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 3, 2016 at 12:38 am

    @WarMunchkin: Good on you, hopefully they’ll make voting a habit.

  23. 23.

    burnspbesq

    March 3, 2016 at 12:41 am

    In case you missed it earlier today, it took the Notorious RBG only one question at oral argument to pants the entire state of Texas.

    http://fusion.net/story/276192/ruth-bader-ginsburg-texas-abortion-law-whole-womans-health/

    I worship that woman.

  24. 24.

    p.a.

    March 3, 2016 at 12:46 am

    *Whew* Glad I checked for a new post. Last one was getting strange. Stranger than usual I mean.

  25. 25.

    Adam L Silverman

    March 3, 2016 at 12:49 am

    @Betty Cracker: I’ll notify the International Committee of the Red Cross. Carpet Bombing is a violation of (one of) the Geneva Convention. I’m sure they’ll send someone right over.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 3, 2016 at 12:51 am

    “Conservatism” in this country has ALWAYS been about the preservation of white privilege. So Drumpf’s platform is playing to the real reasons behind “conservatism”. He’s just not using the code words and dog whistles, he’s exposing the entire mess for what it actually is.

  27. 27.

    p.a.

    March 3, 2016 at 12:51 am

    @Betty Cracker: What are they saying?

  28. 28.

    Mnemosyne

    March 3, 2016 at 12:52 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    Ricardo Montalban? I thought you were dead!

    You’re just jealous because your fight song sounds like a drunken carousel and ours doesn’t.

  29. 29.

    Adam L Silverman

    March 3, 2016 at 12:53 am

    @GregB: For zombies you’ll need an axe, a samurai sword, I highly recommend both a kukri and a hissatsu, and a boomstick!

    And these will also be helpful as well:
    http://zombiecombatcommand.com/field-manuals/

    Remember you don’t have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun the people you’re with…

    Good luck!

  30. 30.

    Kropadope

    March 3, 2016 at 12:53 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “Conservatism” in this country has ALWAYS been about the preservation of white privilege.

    Hey, Republicans are working hard to ruin perfectly good English words for us. Don’t concede these words to them. See also: Liberal, progressive, render, religious freedom, and more

  31. 31.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 3, 2016 at 12:57 am

    @burnspbesq: No kidding. That question needed someone in the gallery to say “burn” right after she asked it.

  32. 32.

    dr. bloor

    March 3, 2016 at 12:58 am

    @efgoldman: MITT!

  33. 33.

    p.a.

    March 3, 2016 at 1:09 am

    @Mnemosyne: @BillinGlendaleCA:
    I’m usually in bed by now. Does the blog usually descend to collegiate taunts late?

    Ezra Cornell had a farm
    eieio
    And on that farm he had a cow
    eieio
    With an aggie here and an aggie there
    Ezra Cornell had a School of Hotel Administration
    eeeeee eyyyyyeeeee eeeeeeee eyyyyeeeeee ooooohhhhhhh

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    March 3, 2016 at 1:10 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    The entire UC system has only one fight song. The same melody is used by Berkeley, Westwood, and Irvine. And maybe Davis as well. Does Santa Barbara even have a band?

    And whatever you may think of “Fight On,” “Conquest” is one bitchin’ tune.

  35. 35.

    Aleta

    March 3, 2016 at 1:10 am

    Powermongers are drawn to a vacuum like Mormon flies to a lighted phone booth.

  36. 36.

    Mnemosyne

    March 3, 2016 at 1:12 am

    @p.a.:

    Only when us crosstown rivals get bored late at night.

    @burnspbesq:

    See? Their fight song is so lame, they had to sell it in bulk!
    ;-p

    ETA to fix pronoun trouble since I think Burns and I share an alma mater. Time for sleep.

  37. 37.

    ? Martin

    March 3, 2016 at 1:14 am

    @burnspbesq: Davis and SB as well. You may not recognize SBs melody because they’re always drunk.

  38. 38.

    p.a.

    March 3, 2016 at 1:15 am

    @Mnemosyne: Actually some days collegiate taunts would be a step up around here.

    ‘night

  39. 39.

    burnspbesq

    March 3, 2016 at 1:19 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    No soy Bruin.

    Soy Diablo Azul.

    Duke has a decent fight song, but a terrible band. They can barely get through “Devil with a Blue Dress” when the basketball team runs out on the floor. “I Can’t Turn You Loose?” Fagedaboudit.

    Should just give up and outsource all band activities to our friends across town at North Carolina Central. Those fuckers can play.

  40. 40.

    ruemara

    March 3, 2016 at 1:19 am

    @WarMunchkin: Thank you!

    Re: thread title. I certainly hope there will be blood. Real blood. Once the CPAC hall collapses.

  41. 41.

    p.a.

    March 3, 2016 at 1:32 am

    @burnspbesq:Late 70’s early 80’s Brown Band was infamous: halftime Salute to the Human Reproductive System at Yale. Girls lined up on one side of the field in a oval, boys other side as a limp dick that gets turgid. Then they ran across the field into the oval. Holy Cross, yearly complaints and threats to end the series. Instead of announcing the music program, Catholic and Pope jokes.

  42. 42.

    different-church-lady

    March 3, 2016 at 1:39 am

    Hey, I hear you guys were badmouthing us up here.

  43. 43.

    burnspbesq

    March 3, 2016 at 1:41 am

    @p.a.:

    There’s Southern, and there’s every other college marching band.

  44. 44.

    Nate Dawg

    March 3, 2016 at 1:50 am

    A chant that was around when I was in school: What’s the color of shit? Brown, Brown, Brown!

  45. 45.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    March 3, 2016 at 2:21 am

    @Mnemosyne: I was participating in the u$c debate tourny when I was in high school. It was the same day as the UCLA/U$C game. I was crossing the street from one location to another, carting my card file and the band came marching down the street straight at me.

    Our fight song is far superior you that u$c crap, though we did steal it from our northern cousins(we were the Southern Branch of the University of California).

  46. 46.

    Origuy

    March 3, 2016 at 2:47 am

    Stanford doesn’t have a band, they have a rave with a horn section.

  47. 47.

    Betty Cracker

    March 3, 2016 at 5:04 am

    @p.a.: The ad runs the Rubio 3.0 script, e.g., “con man, liberal, fraud,” etc., accompanied by unflattering photos of Trump with his hair in disarray.

  48. 48.

    Barbara

    March 3, 2016 at 8:58 am

    If Romney isn’t announcing a candidacy for an independent run, what’s the point? There is nothing Romney can say that would change the momentum of this race. He is one seriously out of touch human being.

  49. 49.

    chopper

    March 3, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    @Kropadope:

    so you’re saying that her cosponsoring the original bill, and her work helping shepherd the bill that was passed through the senate, is meaningless because she left the senate the day before the actual vote? i guess she stood there as the president signed the bill because, well, i dunno why she would have been invited since she didn’t do jack shit.

  50. 50.

    The Golux

    March 3, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    I’m quite fond of UConn’s fight song. I especially like the ending, with the first four notes of the theme played slowly.

  51. 51.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    March 4, 2016 at 7:29 am

    –

  52. 52.

    John D.

    March 4, 2016 at 7:43 am

    @Kropadope: She fucking co-sponsored the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Leaving before the final vote to take up the Secretary of State position does not magically make her efforts on its behalf disappear, nor does it lessen her importance to its passage.

    LLFPA is a direct outgrowth of the Paycheck Fairness Act, BTW. The same battle is often fought many, many times in Congress. But you aren’t really interested in any of this. You have your little checklist of sound bites that you keep recycling, hoping that one day, they’ll magically be true if you turn around three times, squint real hard, and slather on enough bullshit to fool the rubes.

    I deal in data, not narrative. The relevant data here is she cosponsored one of the most important pieces of women’s rights legislation in the last 2 decades. It passed. Your claim about how she couldn’t get legislation passed is therefore incorrect.

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