• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because of wow. / What’s the 1,000th worse case

What’s the 1,000th worse case

by David Anderson|  March 3, 201611:52 pm| 81 Comments

This post is in: Because of wow., David Brooks Giving A Seminar At The Aspen Institute, Election 2016, Open Threads, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Bring On The Meteor, I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

FacebookTweetEmail

Nate Silver is arguing on Twitter that the current Republican primary and the probably Trump nomination is the GOP party elite’s 997th worse case. He offers the 998th (Watergate Part Deux) and 999th(Aliens)…

@ObsoleteDogma: No. 998 involves a Watergate-style scandal, No. 999 involves space aliens, and I don’t even want to think about No. 1000.

— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) March 3, 2016

what is the 1000th worse case scenario for the Republican elites?

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Try That Again
Next Post: NSFW Debate Roundup: Nothing But Pricks & Dick Jokes »

Reader Interactions

81Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    March 4, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Jesus Christ returns and explains what Christianity really means.

  2. 2.

    m0nty

    March 4, 2016 at 12:05 am

    Trump gets shot and becomes a martyr against whom every future GOP pol has to measure himself.

  3. 3.

    Roger Moore

    March 4, 2016 at 12:06 am

    Zombie FDR.

  4. 4.

    MobiusKlein

    March 4, 2016 at 12:08 am

    George W Pen*s

  5. 5.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 4, 2016 at 12:08 am

    Skynet becomes self-aware.

  6. 6.

    Marc

    March 4, 2016 at 12:09 am

    Romney.

  7. 7.

    C Nelson Reilly

    March 4, 2016 at 12:12 am

    Michelle Bachman and Kay Bailey Hutchinson announce that they’re a couple and are opening a gay wedding cupcake store

  8. 8.

    John Revolta

    March 4, 2016 at 12:12 am

    They find a dead girl AND a live boy in bed with Trump. And his numbers go up.

  9. 9.

    superpredators4hillary

    March 4, 2016 at 12:14 am

    Jesus

    ETA: Bah! Bows to #1

  10. 10.

    gf120581

    March 4, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Ronald Reagan resurrects and joins the Democratic Party.

  11. 11.

    GregB

    March 4, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Trump rips off mask to reveal he is actually Zombie George Wallace.

  12. 12.

    Doug R

    March 4, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Alien Watergate

  13. 13.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 4, 2016 at 12:16 am

    somebody finds Willard a way to take the nomination away from Trump and Trump goes all Scourge of God on the Republicans, burning their villages and monasteries from the White House to the USSC to the Senate to the House

  14. 14.

    ruemara

    March 4, 2016 at 12:17 am

    Legally, is there any way we can cull them? Humanely, of course, but to benefit the world, shouldn’t we take steps to prevent this zombie virus from spreading? I, personally, think no one would deny there was a clear & present threat to all life on earth.

  15. 15.

    Sam Dobermann

    March 4, 2016 at 12:17 am

    Incredibly big crowds in every city and town demanding that President Obama serve an additional term.

  16. 16.

    Citizen Alan

    March 4, 2016 at 12:17 am

    The absolute worst case disaster scenario for the GOP is that scientists announce that they have discovered a vaccine against sociopathy so that within a generation, “lack of empathy” is eradicated from the American gene pool. The party would cease to exist.

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 4, 2016 at 12:18 am

    @Citizen Alan: P.O.E!

  18. 18.

    Frnak Goodmanni

    March 4, 2016 at 12:19 am

    Zombie FDR’s 4th term

  19. 19.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    March 4, 2016 at 12:20 am

    The NY Times tape is released and shows Trump talking about how his run is just an “Around the World in 80 Days”-type bet with Bill Clinton that got out of hand. He’s really a big Hillary fan and is going to tell all the Teabaggers and GOP insiders how stupid they are after he accepts the nomination.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  20. 20.

    sigaba

    March 4, 2016 at 12:21 am

    After meditating upon a strange golden necklace pendant, Rubio opens his eyes to discover himself in an alternate reality where Hitler won World War II. (Unclear if it’s a parallel universe or if the American victory in World War II was actually just an illusion/mass delusion.)

  21. 21.

    ? Martin

    March 4, 2016 at 12:21 am

    Clarence Thomas dies.

  22. 22.

    Yutsano

    March 4, 2016 at 12:21 am

    SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?

  23. 23.

    superpredators4hillary

    March 4, 2016 at 12:21 am

    If your answer runs more than a handful of syllables and grunts, you lose.

  24. 24.

    Percysowner

    March 4, 2016 at 12:26 am

    After winning the nomination Trump tells his supporters to send a message to the GOP, which didn’t treat him “fairly” and NOT vote for them for Congress and the Senate. Don’t vote for Democrats, just don’t support the Republicans.

  25. 25.

    Peale

    March 4, 2016 at 12:27 am

    FBI unlocks iPhone. Turns out last message was to Reince Priebus promising to do whatever it takes to call attention to the injustice of taxing job creators.

  26. 26.

    mclaren

    March 4, 2016 at 12:27 am

    Rubio opens the ark of the covenant and his face melts, while blasts of energy go out to impale and disintegrate every member of the Republican party. Bernie and Hillary remain unaffected because they’ve closed their eyes while tied to a pole.

  27. 27.

    eemom

    March 4, 2016 at 12:28 am

    Can Nate Silver please STFU? He’s has-been-ier than John McCain at this point. kthxbai.

  28. 28.

    The Dangerman

    March 4, 2016 at 12:28 am

    Did anyone else think it odd when Trump referred to the “3rd plane”? 1000 could be a Republican candidate that forgot a plane hit the Pentagon. I so wanted Kelly to ask Trump a follow up on how many planes on 9/11.

  29. 29.

    beltane

    March 4, 2016 at 12:29 am

    Obama becomes Secretary General of the UN, implementing the New World Order on day one.

  30. 30.

    chopper

    March 4, 2016 at 12:29 am

    zombie reagan comes back to life and starts talking about amnesty.

  31. 31.

    Groucho48

    March 4, 2016 at 12:30 am

    Turns out there were no classified documents on Clinton’s server but a bunch turned up on the server of the Benghazi Commission and all the top Republicans on it are charged with leaking classified information to the Republican candidates, who are also charged.

    Dems get the Presidency, a supermajority Senate and a majority House. Meanwhile, the Scalia tapes emerge and both Alito and Thomas resign in disgrace after being filmed doing hookers and blow in chambers.

  32. 32.

    Mike J

    March 4, 2016 at 12:31 am

    Christopher Walken survives a car crash, shakes hands with each of the republican candidates.

  33. 33.

    hkedi

    March 4, 2016 at 12:34 am

    @GregB: Donald Trump rips off the mask to reveal he is a lizard person; Wins by 30 EV.

  34. 34.

    Mike J

    March 4, 2016 at 12:34 am

    @chopper: Was looking for you. If you see Casey, OpieJean et al around, remind them to go to the King County Democrats web site and pre-register for the caucus. kcdems.org

  35. 35.

    Matt McIrvin

    March 4, 2016 at 12:35 am

    Just like today, only Hillary Clinton is near the end of her second term and Barack Obama is running now.

  36. 36.

    shomi

    March 4, 2016 at 12:35 am

    Not the Onion. A real headline from a supposedly serious source….lol

    President Obama Created Donald Trump
    http://www.wsj.com/articles/president-obama-created-donald-trump-1457048679?cb=logged0.275332986144349&cb=logged0.2878046266268939

  37. 37.

    Petorado

    March 4, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Nate Silver is arguing on Twitter that the current Republican primary and the probably Trump nomination is the GOP party elite’s 997th worse case … “and I don’t even want to think about No. 1000.”

    Why are people acting like what’s bad for the GOP party elite is a bad thing for the rest of all other living things. There’s no legitimate argument that the world wasn’t better off after the GOP elite had bummer 2008 and 2012 elections.

  38. 38.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    March 4, 2016 at 12:37 am

    @? Martin:

    Clarence Thomas dies.

    and is found in drag.

  39. 39.

    mclaren

    March 4, 2016 at 12:37 am

    Someone finally figures out that by rearranging the hellraiser cube they can close up the wall and force the Republican candidates to return to their hell dimension.

  40. 40.

    beltane

    March 4, 2016 at 12:37 am

    @shomi: That’s funny. It was actually the owner of the WSJ who created Donald Trump.

  41. 41.

    Lil' Chocolate Bronut

    March 4, 2016 at 12:38 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUm-mtdtmko

  42. 42.

    Petorado

    March 4, 2016 at 12:40 am

    @shomi: Written by “Bobby” Jindal. The WSJ is the Onion with more viciousness and no sense of humor or irony.

  43. 43.

    celticdragonchick

    March 4, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Can Nate Silver please STFU? He’s has-been-ier than John McCain at this point. kthxbai.

    Nothing like self righteous yet meaningless snark to give you that vaguely unsatisfied feeling.

  44. 44.

    slag

    March 4, 2016 at 12:42 am

    Americans start using the entirety of their prefrontal cortices.

  45. 45.

    chopper

    March 4, 2016 at 12:45 am

    @Mike J:

    will do.

  46. 46.

    hkedi

    March 4, 2016 at 12:45 am

    New candidate for #1000:

    Jane Fonda is raptured on live TV while talking with Ellen Degeneres. She returns 3 days later on a column of light in NY times square with the message that her divine blackness is completely fed up, and the smiting will start in 3.. 2… 1….

  47. 47.

    RepubAnon

    March 4, 2016 at 12:48 am

    Donald Trump reminds everyone of their pledge to support the eventual Republican nominee…

  48. 48.

    slag

    March 4, 2016 at 12:49 am

    @celticdragonchick: Agreed. It’s the inevitable result of trying to digest some weak sauce.

  49. 49.

    piratedan

    March 4, 2016 at 12:50 am

    scenario 1000:

    archaeologists determine that Jesus was a homosexual black guy who still liked to sleep with prostitutes to maintain a reputation with the straights

  50. 50.

    Shaun Appleby

    March 4, 2016 at 12:52 am

    @Frnak Goodmanni: Too late!

  51. 51.

    RaflW

    March 4, 2016 at 12:52 am

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: This, but I’d tweak it that he announces he will be running for Veep on a single unity ticket with Hillz.

  52. 52.

    pamelabrown53

    March 4, 2016 at 12:58 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Heh. Have you by chance ever watched a show called “Person of Interest”?

  53. 53.

    mclaren

    March 4, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Up at Lawyers, Guns and Money Paul Campos asks: “Would Trump as president be significantly worse than Cruz or Rubio?”

    a Trump presidency presents two huge risks:

    (1) The social costs incurred by putting someone who campaigns as an open racist in the White House. I don’t know whether or to what extent Trump is “really” racist, but that is basically irrelevant to calculating those costs. Air raid siren racism is worse than dog whistle racism, for the same reason that open corruption is worse than the covert kind. It’s actually an important social advance that, relative to a a couple of three decades ago, covert racists now feel the need to disguise their racism, because when they don’t feel that way racism becomes more socially acceptable, just as when open bribery becomes a feature of public life its very openness makes it more socially acceptable, and therefore more common than it would otherwise be.

    (2) Trump is not merely a narcissistic megalomaniac of an extreme kind: he’s a narcissistic megalomaniac who isn’t constrained by any political institutions, as even an “anti-establishment” conventional presidential candidate like Cruz or Sanders would be. He’s a true political outsider, and as such he’s much more unpredictable. Institutional socialization, and the constraints it builds up, are real. Trump presents a non-trivial risk of being the sort of politician who would actually do the sorts of things that conspiracy nuts of the Alex Jones type are always fantasizing normal politicians are about to do: declare martial law, suspend elections, seize major media outlets etc. Trump really might turn into an American version of Vladamir Putin or perhaps Juan Peron.

  54. 54.

    Cpl. Cam

    March 4, 2016 at 1:03 am

    @dmsilev: They would have their base convinced he was the anti-Christ so fast your head would spin. In fact I’m guessing he ends up crucified again if he ever comes back.

  55. 55.

    Redshift

    March 4, 2016 at 1:06 am

    @sigaba:

    After meditating upon a strange golden necklace pendant, Rubio opens his eyes to discover himself in an alternate reality where Hitler won World War II. (Unclear if it’s a parallel universe or if the American victory in World War II was actually just an illusion/mass delusion.)

    And Donald Trump is vice-Fuhrer in charge of the former United States.

  56. 56.

    Keith P.

    March 4, 2016 at 1:10 am

    1000 is Donald Trump actually pulls his dick out during a debate.

  57. 57.

    amk

    March 4, 2016 at 1:10 am

    yet another hitlery benghaji !!! emails !!! nothingburger.

  58. 58.

    Tripod

    March 4, 2016 at 1:10 am

    Yahoo news lede: GOP candidates pledge to vote for man they call liar, con-man and fraud

    Rubio, Cruz and Kasich also willing to suck his tiny, tiny finger for the VP slot.

  59. 59.

    eric

    March 4, 2016 at 1:14 am

    Jeb.

  60. 60.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2016 at 1:14 am

    what is the 1000th worse case scenario for the Republican elites?

    Winning.

  61. 61.

    Tripod

    March 4, 2016 at 1:19 am

    RMoney MkII ends up with the nomination.

  62. 62.

    Nate Dawg

    March 4, 2016 at 1:20 am

    Sarah Palin in the lead.

  63. 63.

    Frankensteinbeck

    March 4, 2016 at 1:20 am

    #1000: It turns out, everybody is Kang the Conqueror.

    One upside for the GOP: They finally have proof of massive voter ID fraud.

  64. 64.

    Lil' Chocolate Bronut

    March 4, 2016 at 1:32 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18N2k1TBBRE

  65. 65.

    ruemara

    March 4, 2016 at 1:36 am

    @NotMax: You, ftw

  66. 66.

    eric

    March 4, 2016 at 2:08 am

    The first several comments on this thread are so full of win I nearly cried from laughing. Jeebus..

  67. 67.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 4, 2016 at 3:13 am

    Cruz gets the nomination, picks Jesus to be VP.

  68. 68.

    Ripley

    March 4, 2016 at 3:14 am

    Ivanka’s pregnancy. Donald’s child. Damien Trump.

  69. 69.

    MikefromArlington

    March 4, 2016 at 3:28 am

    Come to find out Obama is actually Jesus and the Democratic Party wins the Christian vote by 99%.

  70. 70.

    hkedi

    March 4, 2016 at 3:55 am

    @Frankensteinbeck: NOOO!!! HOW DID YOU FIND OUT!! I AM KANG THE CONQUERER!!!!!

  71. 71.

    hkedi [Kang T.Q.]

    March 4, 2016 at 3:58 am

    I wear this tag in shame….

  72. 72.

    Schlemazel (parmesan rancor)

    March 4, 2016 at 4:09 am

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:
    I was thinking, “shot to death by wife along with a lobbyist in bed”

  73. 73.

    gogiggs

    March 4, 2016 at 5:02 am

    It involves tumbrels and guillotines and it’s probably the best scenario for the rest of us.

  74. 74.

    Bruce K

    March 4, 2016 at 7:13 am

    I submit for Worst-Case Scenario 1000:

    President Obama announces that an extinction-level-event asteroid has been spotted heading towards Earth, but between NASA and the private launch enterprises, there’s a plan to deflect it safely, and all Congress needs to do is stay the hell out of the way and the Earth will be saved.

  75. 75.

    different-church-lady

    March 4, 2016 at 7:16 am

    #1000 is Trump wins the presidency.

  76. 76.

    lurker dean

    March 4, 2016 at 8:34 am

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: nice. And then Trump calls Bill on stage and gives him a crisp one dollar bill.

  77. 77.

    Glidwrith

    March 4, 2016 at 8:38 am

    @Citizen Alan: You laugh, but someone out there is tracking the possibility that mental illness is an autoimmune disease.

  78. 78.

    SFAW

    March 4, 2016 at 8:39 am

    A) Baud! wins
    B) Trump rips off his mask and reveals that he’s actually Nancy Pelosi
    C) Scalia resurrects and says that God told him that the Repubs are the collective anti-Christ
    D) The Kochs and Rupert Murdoch commit suicide together. While wearing wetsuits, etc.
    E) China buys the entire US, then lines up the Rethugs against the wall, for “Crimes against Humanity”
    F) Bill Kristol actually gets something right

    OK, that last one is a little far-fetched

  79. 79.

    John PM

    March 4, 2016 at 9:19 am

    Teddy Roosevelt is resurrected and recreates the charge up San Juan Hill at the Republican National Convention.

  80. 80.

    Shantanu Saha

    March 4, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    After Hillary Clinton is elected to office, John Roberts and Samuel Alito are found dead in the same bed. It is determined to be a murder-suicide, resulting from a love affair gone bad.

  81. 81.

    moops

    March 4, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    The most likely outcome is one that most of you are not going to like.

    Trump will run and lose to Clinton, by a larger margin than the usual 48-52 deal. Probably a 40-60 loss, which in US politics is being crushed. The billionaires will spend much more on other races and keep the other branches in their control. The pundits and establishment GOP will cluck “told you so, stupid base”. They will not grow or change their views and the next primaries will try and find their new G W Bush to run against Clinton in 2020 and likely retake the White House. The 2020 GOP candidate will have a traditional skill in dog whistle racism that is deniable and left unreported in the MSM and they will finally make inroads with minorities since the overt racists will be told to shut their dam mouths (sort of like how all the Democrat bloggers treat Naderites).

    I would rank this outcome as the most likely and I’m surprised it just doesn’t get mentioned.

    If Trump is the nominee, the party is going to throw the presidential race to save the party. Party *always* comes before country, and it is the only way they are getting rid of this loose cannon now.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • OzarkHillbilly on Sunday Morning Garden Chat: Exotic Orchids (Sep 24, 2023 @ 5:54am)
  • satby on Sunday Morning Garden Chat: Exotic Orchids (Sep 24, 2023 @ 5:53am)
  • Steeplejack on Sunday Morning Garden Chat: Exotic Orchids (Sep 24, 2023 @ 5:51am)
  • Jeffg166 on Sunday Morning Garden Chat: Exotic Orchids (Sep 24, 2023 @ 5:14am)
  • Jeffg166 on Open Thread: Exciting News — Andy Kim Is Contesting Menedez’s Seat (Sep 24, 2023 @ 5:09am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
What Has Biden Done for You Lately?

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Cole & Friends Learn Español

Introductory Post
Cole & Friends Learn Español

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!