Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

The willow is too close to the house.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

No Justins, No Peace

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

He really is that stupid.

We still have time to mess this up!

The revolution will be supervised.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Secretly Canadian

Secretly Canadian

by | 194 Comments

This post is in: 

I really do love Canada, and Canadians. Even though your plastic bumwad is worth 75 cents for every real US American dollar, it’s OK that you’re feeling a little smug about Trump. Just like national healthcare, and chip and PIN, you are ahead of us with your choice of leader, as well as the quality of your family dynasties. (But, in fairness, you did elect Harper.) So, while it’s OK that you feel good about yourselves, perhaps you could refrain from mentioning that fucking asshole Donald every time you discover (via my vile US chip-and-sign piece of shit credit card) that I’m American.

I’ll make you Canucks a deal – you don’t mention Trump, and we will never speak of this again:
yuk

Reader Interactions

194Comments

  2. 2.

    redshirt

    I have prepared a New New Gondolin on Prince Edward Island and it’s a wonderful place.

    Yes, I love Canada too and all Canadians. Though I’m ashamed to see Tim Hortons actually failing stateside. :(

  3. 3.

    BGinCHI

    Ironically, the amazing music label Secretly Canadian was founded, and is based, in Bloomington, Indiana.

    I advised them years ago (seriously) to sell more merch with that saying, but they have been slow to recognize my genius.

  7. 7.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    Sriracha on Mac n Cheese tire rims and anthrax is delish.

    1) Because this is Balloon Juice, and you should mention the Official Food
    2) Because sriracha on anything is questionable at best. [Now I’ve done it. Incoming!]

  8. 8.

    dedc79

    Also, if hockey’s your national sport, how come all your NHL teams are so bad? Not a single one would make the playoffs if the season ended today, and the Maple Leafs and the Oilers are the two worst teams in the league.

  9. 9.

    humboldtblue

    @redshirt:If you wish, I personally love some Franks Red Hot on mine. Not ketchup though, never, ever, ever, ketchup. That’s worse than ketchup on eggs, well, not AS bad, but pretty damn bad nonetheless.

  11. 11.

    Calouste

    Canadians have Rob Ford, and he was actually elected as the mayor of their largest city. Although if the news is to be believed, they won’t have him not for much longer.

    At least Trump hasn’t been caught doing crack, and hasn’t been elected to anything so far.

  13. 13.

    Peale

    At least they don’t “bbq” or “buffalo” flavor everything. Ketchup makes more sense as a potato flavor than “ranch.”

  15. 15.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    Harper was Canada’s Bush and they re-elected the asshole, so, not so holier than thou.

    Harper’s standing, with a bullhorn, on the smoldering (or “smouldering” for you Canucks) wreckage of Jarry Park, saying “This will not stand, eh?” was what won him re-election.

  18. 18.

    SFAW

    @dedc79:

    That’s because lacrosse is their national sport.

    Oh, I know, some of the politically correct got hockey named as their winter national sport, some years ago. But before those WATBs got their way, it was lacrosse.

  20. 20.

    humboldtblue

    @chris: This is why people turn their backs and hiss when you walk by. Ever wonder why you were booed that one time you walked into a gas station to pay the clerk? That’s why.

  21. 21.

    LAO

    A few years ago, I was stuck at home for several months and I watched a lot of HGTV designs shows — which are all filmed in Canada, as I result I came to realize that Canadian are not all that nice, Which I appreciated because they seem to perfect.

    Also watching HGTV endlessly resulted in a second renovation of my apartment. I no longer watch those shows.

  23. 23.

    scav

    @Calouste: Rob Ford and Boris Johnson at least provide evidence that the immediate locals are not uniquely insane, but if nothing else, the particular insanity may be linked to being Anglophones.

  24. 24.

    Dr. Bloor

    @Baud: Don’t be hasty, now. It’s a buyers market for seats in some of those outlying ridings. Don’t want to close any doors if things don’t go well this November.

  26. 26.

    LAO

    @SFAW:

    Because sriracha on anything is questionable at best. [Now I’ve done it. Incoming!]

    I sort of agree with you since I am now totally obsessed with Trader Joe’s Green Dragon sauce.

  30. 30.

    chris

    @humboldtblue: Really? I thought it was the greasy paper bag of smoked kayaks that I carry at all times in case anybody wants one. We’re very hospitable and polite and shit.

  32. 32.

    mistermix

    @redshirt: True enough, but let’s face it: our dynasties are Bush and Clinton. As much as I hope Clinton wins this Fall, the Trudeau dynasty trumps the Clinton dynasty. Whatever his failings, Pierre Eliot Trudeau led Canada through a period where their union could have dissolved, and was a powerful force after he retired to maintain one Canada. (His role in scuttling the Meech Lake and Charletton Accords was an object lesson in elegant and effective work by an ex-leader.) He was also a goddam interesting human being, and a good father. Justin has to be merely competent to maintain the reputation of one of the greatest political families the modern world has ever seen. (Not to mention Margaret, who’s become a hero to people with mental illness.)

  36. 36.

    el_gallo

    I’m breaking my years long commenting silence because this topic is just that important: Ketchup flavor potato chips are amazingly good.

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    Earlier there was a great thread about a dumbass article from David Brooks, promises to go forth and wander among the little people in order to understand that which is love of Trump. And now Gawker reports on how Peggy Noonan has gone out in the world and searched out a Uber driver to explain to her the ways of Trump and his mighty appeal to the weak and afflicted.

    Peggy Noonan, defender of morals, whisperer of Reaganisms, consumer of potions. A famed friend to the sorts of lower classes who are oft seen in jobs of service. With roots in our noble past, Peggy is nevertheless able to seek out and interpret the ramblings of “regular” Americans, whose knowledge of Reagan-era dinner parties may be limited or even nonexistent. We thank the humble gods that she is here. Otherwise, we would be forced to rely solely upon rap-and-roll lyrics to divine the mental state of the average savage citizen.

    We should feel blessed.

  41. 41.

    Splitting Image

    How about this?

    We’ll stop mentioning Trump when Justin Bieber runs for the leadership of the Conservative Party and wins.

    Actually, the Canadian and American political cultures are a lot more mixed than some people seem to think. If you look at the Conservative base of support on a map, most of the ridings they hold are closely connected with Republican strongholds in the States. Their largest base is really the top edge of the Bible Belt crescent that starts in Georgia, goes west to Oklahoma, and up north to Montana and the Dakotas. They also hold most of the rural seats in Southern Ontario, for a lot of the same reasons that the Republicans hold the rural districts in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. The rest of their ridings are contiguous with Maine.

    This site has a good map that makes this pretty clear.

    Also, I’m not sure it’s fair to Bush to compare Stephen Harper to him. Harper was a toadying lickspittle whose fondest dream was to hump Bush’s leg. A poor man’s Tony Blair, in other words.

  44. 44.

    Technocrat

    At least ketchup is typically applied to potato-based foods. Those look gross, but they’re consistent.

    Who in god’s name dips their fries into their latte?: Lay’s Cappucino

    So, Canada still wins. Bastards.

  46. 46.

    geg6

    I hate ketchup. It’s only good as a sauce for meatloaf.

    I love Canada, especially Vancouver.

    I’d do Justin Trudeau.

  47. 47.

    ThresherK

    Let’s not forget what’s important: How many minutes after a Dem is inaugurated in 2017 will Texas make more asshole noises about seceding?

    When they lose, they just can’t go away noisily, people by people, but they feel the need to yoke up an entire too-big-for-its-britches state to their failure.

  49. 49.

    Brachiator

    A little something about the map of political donations in Los Angeles.

    Clinton on the Westside, Bernie on the Lakes.

    Not surprisingly, the vast majority of donations in the city seem to have gone to Democratic candidates. As LAist points out, the wealthier zip codes on the Westside and up in the hills have been leaning towards Hillary, while Silver Lake and Echo Park are overwhelmingly feeling the Bern. Sanders’s strongest support, however, seems to also be coming from the 90290 zip code of Topanga Canyon.

    Support for Trump is hard to find in the Southland, with only a small number of donations popping up in the Inland Empire and a few pockets of Orange County and the South Bay. Instead, most Southern California Republicans seem to have decided to throw financial support toward Ted Cruz and the late campaign of Marco Rubio.

    Of course, Trump supposedly is not taking donations, so this is not a direct mapping of support enthusiasm.

  50. 50.

    PsiFighter37

    Speaking of Canadians, Mittens came out and said he was going to vote for Tailgunner Ted in Utah’s caucus (so he’s not really a resident of Massachusetts, then?). Ironic how the establishment is starting to go to the one guy who constantly spit in their faces and called them liars.

    Humble pie, I wonder what it tastes like…

  51. 51.

    AnotherBruce

    @dedc79: The Oilers are karmic-ally paying for having Coffey, Messier, and Gretzky on the same team. It’s going to take a long time to pay that one off.

  52. 52.

    geg6

    @humboldtblue:

    First year I didn’t participate in a March Madness pool and, so far, I’m very happy about it. Michigan State’s loss would have busted me right at the start.

  53. 53.

    lamh36

    @NBCNightlyNews 6m6 minutes ago

    Mitt Romney announces that he’s voting for Ted Cruz in Utah caucus. @HallieJackson joins us now #NBCNightlyNews

    Who Cares?

  54. 54.

    Brachiator

    @PsiFighter37:

    Speaking of Canadians, Mittens came out and said he was going to vote for Tailgunner Ted

    Didn’t Lindsay Graham also endorse Cruz?

    Looks like the GOP establishment is going to make their last stand on the Terrible Cruz.

    This is going to be ugly.

  55. 55.

    humboldtblue

    @geg6: I used to be a sportswriter and used to pay close attention to college bball and take a bracket somewhat seriously and it was always — every damn time — busted by the end of the first weekend. I didn’t even fill out a bracket this year, I have no clue about any of the teams and haven’t watched a regular season college game years.

  60. 60.

    Sloegin

    Canada and ketchup chips? Anything you can’t get here always seems worth a try. Damn internet has me wanting to try Chicken Salt now too (which is an Aussie thing apparently).

  61. 61.

    Splitting Image

    @AnotherBruce:

    The Oilers are karmic-ally paying for having Coffey, Messier, and Gretzky on the same team. It’s going to take a long time to pay that one off.

    Don’t forget Jari Kurri, Glenn Anderson, Grant Fuhr, and Andy Moog. If karma is the issue here, Edmonton fans will be lucky if they don’t overtake the Chicago Cubs.

  62. 62.

    bemused

    @LAO:

    Without looking at the credits, the way they pronounce certain words like about gives it away. We’re only 70 miles south of the border so we sound a bit like Canadians north of us (not the out sound though).

  63. 63.

    Gvg

    Ohhhh, ketchup flavored potato chips. I thought those were huge bags of just ketchup, which seems yuckier than large jars for some reason.
    Yuck, why? Really? People are strange.

  64. 64.

    Steve Finlay

    Canada accidentally swallowed Harper in 2011 (when we gave him a majority!! AAARGH!!). Then in 2015, we barfed him back up like a salmonella-infested chicken leg. Definitely felt better after that.

    But there is no way that the US could ever forgive us for William Shatner, Jim Carrey, Ted Cruz, etc. etc. We could rot in hell for eternity, and still never atone for that stuff.

  65. 65.

    AnotherBruce

    @humboldtblue: Well, it’s not for everybody, once you mix the mushrooms in the gooey cheese I think it adds a nice flavor.And I love canned tuna. (albacore mind you). But I definitely have some weird tastes, I also like to mix sardines with cottage cheese. So maybe you should stay away from my food recommendations.

  66. 66.

    Amir Khalid

    @Brachiator:
    The Marcobot has been powered down, and Kasich is very very far behind in the delegate count. There’s nobody left with a prayer of catching up to Loose Cannon Donald, except Jackhole Ted and even he is a longshot.

  67. 67.

    redshirt

    I trust that Canada is the USA’s better angel, and yet I’m ashamed to admit I actually dislike French Canadians on the surface.

    You’ve got to win my trust, Francois.

  69. 69.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    What’s most stunning about Trump is the number of Republicans who aren’t responsible for him, didn’t vote for him in the primary and aren’t going to vote for him in the general election. But there he is cruising to the nomination while my innocent right wing friends are simultaneously disavowing him and saying Republican leaders need to “listen to the people” and under no circumstances should they attempt to deny him the nomination.

    That’s glibertarian-level cognitive dissonance.

  70. 70.

    bemused

    Trump is telling his supporters to boycott Megyn Kelly’s show. The tissue thin skinned vulgarian is drunk with power.

  71. 71.

    lamh36

    wow…I guess that’s the end of Gawker then…
    $115 Million !!!

    ETA: So, can someone explain to me the difference between Gawker and TMZ? I don’t follow either but I do know folks who do religiously.

    @THR
    Hulk Hogan gets $115M verdict against Gawker at sex tape trial http://thr.cm/lngDgz

  72. 72.

    debbie

    Enough about Canada. Someone on NPR said about the SCOTUS kerfluffle that it was ironic that at the end of the day, it was the GOP who were the real judicial activists. I’d sell my soul to have this discussed on the Sunday talk fests.

  73. 73.

    Jane2

    Ketchup chips are as Canadian as hockey. Personally, I’m not a fan, but I’d take them any day over All-Dressed Doritos, aka triangles of additives and preservatives.

  77. 77.

    Jane2

    @redshirt: French-Canadians have given us the class of Montreal and Quebec City, poutine, constant political scandal, the arts, Louis Riel, and a target for the rest of us to moan about while we hold our own provincial hands out for equalization payments. And mostly, because of French-Canadians we have a Constitution that has strong religious and language rights.

    I love them for all those things.

  78. 78.

    NotMax

    @AnotherBruce

    No chance of ever being in the targeted group, but leery of the albacore once noticed some time back that the FDA recommends no more than 4 servings per month of canned tuna for pregnant ladies but no more than one serving per month of the canned albacore. Mercury, don’tcha know.

    A little more pricey, but the Italian brands of canned tuna blow the American brands off the map for taste and texture.

    Weird food combos? Like cottage cheese with thin sliced onions, topped with Italian dressing.

  79. 79.

    Patricia Kayden

    As a Canadian American, I can truly say that ketchup chips are delish! Not sure why you feel Canadians shouldn’t speak of them.

    @lamh36: Wow. Kind of surprised but I guess it’s not good to release sex tapes of people without their permission. Not a bad outcome.

  82. 82.

    Patricia Kayden

    @bemused: It could be worse. He could start telling people to punch her in the face as if she were one of his protesters.

  89. 89.

    lamh36

    So wait, isnt Gawker and Jezebel owned by same media group?

    So if amount stands, does that mean Jezebel could be in big trouble too?

    Someone on twitter said the big difference is TMZ reports on Celebs, but Gawker seems to be out to embarrass celebs?

  92. 92.

    NonyNony

    We Americans have Chicken and Waffles potato chips on our shelves, a flavor designed by Satan Himself to make us hate food, so I feel that we can’t really cast asparagus here.

    (I like chicken and waffles as a heart attack inducing dish. But the fake chicken and waffle flavor on those chips will make you believe that there is no God.)

  93. 93.

    Steve in the ATL

    @LAO: My grandmother wouldn’t allow ketchup in the house. Said it was just for the poor people who couldn’t afford good meat.

  95. 95.

    mclaren

    Over at Five Thirty Eight, Nate Silver has a couple of insightful articles. First, “Turnout in the primary means nothing for the general election”:

    http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/primary-turnout-means-nothing-for-the-general-election/

    Silver makes the point that high primary turnout results from a hotly contested primary. The Democrats had lower turnout than the Republicans because this year, it was pretty clear from the beginning that Hillary was going to be the nominee.

    This doesn’t carry over to the general election, so Demos’ fears that lower turnout may hurt them remain unfounded.

    Next, Silver points out that

    “…[P]arties have usually nominated candidates who…are:
    “1. Credible and at least reasonably electable;
    “2. Representatives of their partisan traditions. (..)
    “It has been extremely rare, however, for a candidate to be nominated while scoring poorly along both dimensions. McGovern is probably the best example, insofar as he was too radical even for many Democrats in 1972 and a disaster of a general election nominee.

    “Donald Trump might be another of those cases. It’s not clear what policy positions Trump really holds, but to the extent he has articulated them, they’re all over the map and not that well aligned with those traditionally held by Republican officeholders. However, unlike previous “mavericks” such as Bill Clinton or McCain, Trump is not very popular with general election voters. On the contrary, he’s extremely unpopular with independents and would begin the general election race with worse favorability ratings than any candidate to receive a major-party nomination before. (..)

    “Maybe the most incredible passage of the campaign cycle comes from a recent Jonathan Martin article in The New York Times. It suggests that some Republican professionals are supporting Trump because they think he’ll lose:

    “Of course, this willingness to accommodate Mr. Trump is driven in part by the fact that few among the Republican professional class believe he would win a general election. In their minds, it would be better to effectively rent the party to Mr. Trump for four months this fall, through the general election, than risk turning it over to Mr. Cruz for at least four years, as either the president or the next-in-line leader for the 2020 nomination.”

    http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-republican-party-may-be-failing/

  96. 96.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Steve in the ATL:

    My grandmother wouldn’t allow ketchup in the house. Said it was just for the poor people who couldn’t afford good meat.

    Substituting ketchup for meat, okay now that’s poor. That’s Rodney Dangerfield poor, that is right there.

  97. 97.

    Steve in the ATL

    @geg6: My daughter was all cocky about correctly picking all but one game through early afternoon today…but she had Michigan State to win it all

  99. 99.

    Brachiator

    @Jane2:

    Ketchup chips are as Canadian as hockey. Personally, I’m not a fan, but I’d take them any day over All-Dressed Doritos, aka triangles of additives and preservatives.

    Americans eventually may have to ask President Trump to build a wall to keep ketchup chips out of the country.

  101. 101.

    Calouste

    @scav: Nah, it’s not limited to Anglophones. The gold standard is still set by Silvio “bunga-bunga” Berlusconi. Although I guess the only reason that Rob Ford didn’t have sex parties with underage hookers was that they charged him more than he could afford. Or that after all the booze and drugs things no longer worked.

  102. 102.

    joel hanes

    Canada (or at least western Ontario) leads the world in breading mixes for fried fish.

    Every podunk bait ship north of Fort Frances carries four national brands and one or two local favorites.

    Mmmmm, fried walleye. Along with fresh Dungeness crab and king salmon, I’ll take fried walleye as evidence that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  103. 103.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Jane2:

    French-Canadians have given us the class of Montreal and Quebec City, poutine, constant political scandal, the arts, Louis Riel, and a target for the rest of us to moan about while we hold our own provincial hands out for equalization payments. And mostly, because of French-Canadians we have a Constitution that has strong religious and language rights.

    I love them for all those things.

    Also, Quebec is the only place on the east coast that got enough snow this year for good skiing, so give them credit for that too

  104. 104.

    smith

    @mclaren: Hard to grasp that they’d throw an election because they hate Cruz that much. Of course, this might be a face-saving excuse for why this election has gotten so far out of the R establishment’s control. They actually planned it that way, see?

  106. 106.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Calouste: Maybe not, but there’s evidence that being Anglophone is bad for your health:

    The Chinese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    The Latinos eat lots of Chilis and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.

    Conclusion:

    Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

  107. 107.

    humboldtblue

    @joel hanes:

    Along with fresh Dungeness crab and king salmon

    Huh, the commercial and recreational crab fishing season, a 50 million dollar a year industry in this region, was canceled off the coast of California because of domoic acid a toxin that loves the warmer waters coming farther north thanks to El Nino conditions.

    Last week the Pacific Fisheries Management council proposed cutting back salmon season by up to 45%. Salmon fishing is a billion dollar industry and we may not have a fishing season.

  108. 108.

    geg6

    Lovey hates ketchup, too. Won’t touch the stuff. But she loves, loves, loves spaghetti sauce. She’s a bitch after my own heart.

  109. 109.

    Steve in the ATL

    @lamh36:

    wow…I guess that’s the end of Gawker then…
    $115 Million !!!

    ETA: So, can someone explain to me the difference between Gawker and TMZ? I don’t follow either but I do know folks who do religiously.

    @THR
    Hulk Hogan gets $115M verdict against Gawker at sex tape trial http://thr.cm/lngDgz
    ReplyR

    Good lord. IANthatkindofL, but I expect one of two outcomes: appellate court deems the tape newsworthy and throws out the verdict or the verdict gets reduced dramatically.

    Still, if I were a freshly-unionized Gawker writer I would be sending out resumes tonight.

  112. 112.

    joel hanes

    @PsiFighter37:

    Humble pie, I wonder what it tastes like…

    You’ve never had it ?

    Reminds me of a Canadian joke …

    These guys are going on a fishing trip, see, but none of them want to cook. Finally, Joe speaks up:
    “I’ll cook, damnit! Someone has to.
    But the first guy to complain about my cooking will have to take over the cooking for the rest of the trip.”

    So the trip is a big success, they catch lots of fish, and Joe gets deadly tired of cooking.
    He tries burning the food, but no one complains, because no one wants to cook.

    Finally, in desperation, he goes out in the woods, finds a batch of fresh moose turds, brings them back, and mixes them with the fried potatoes as a side dish.

    The first guy takes a bite, chews once, and spits it out.
    “These potatoes taste like moose shit!”

    Then he realizes what he’s done
    ” … but GOOD!”

  113. 113.

    Brachiator

    @Steve in the ATL:

    My grandmother wouldn’t allow ketchup in the house. Said it was just for the poor people who couldn’t afford good meat.

    Of course, during the Reagan administration, ketchup was classified as a vegetable.

    ETA: See the Straight Dope on this. Apparently, this wasn’t due to deliberate cruelty or stupidity, but to bureacratic foolishness in reviewing nutrition guidelines.

  116. 116.

    scav

    @Calouste: That was the next obvious bridge into a larger population. I guess I hesitated because there’s a bit more a sleaze and less of antic buffoon, although he certainly has stronger affinities with Drumpf than the other two. Not sure he’s the archetype though — and aren’t we (generally) lucky Murdoch never got into politics because he’s even more a mirror Berlusconi.

  118. 118.

    Mike in NC

    @Brachiator: Lindsay Graham on Trump: he’s running a campaign “based on xenophobia, race-baiting and religious bigotry.” Sounds pretty mainstream Republican. Give it another 4-6 weeks and Graham will be falling all over himself to endorse Trump.

  119. 119.

    Gravenstone

    @mistermix: Hey now. I’m currently having KD and ketchup. Granted, the ketchup is on the accompanying meatloaf, but it’s there, damnit.

  120. 120.

    joel hanes

    @humboldtblue:

    Oh, I know.

    If there is a God, he’ll have us all over hot coals for what we’ve done to his Creation.

    As for the salmon, one Richard Bruce Cheney personally intervened in the Upper Klamath water allocation decisions, and helped that run of chinook go near-extinct. Remember him in your prayers.

    Until then, I’m getting by with salmon and crab from points far to the north — domoic acid is nothing to trifle with. [I’ll take “Permanaent Neurological Damage” for 500, Alex]

  121. 121.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Amir Khalid: Hey I didn’t write the joke ;)

    I’d wager that Canadians at least fall in the higher heart attack mortality group, if for no other reason than ketchup flavored potato chips.

  122. 122.

    Voncey

    Don’t mock what you do not understand. Ketchup chips are awesome. We also have maple-bacon chips — come on and try. You won’t be sorry!

  124. 124.

    dedc79

    There’s a first time for everything:

    Ron Fournier: Objective as possible, I rarely come across a story where one side deserves 100% of blame. Congrats, GOP. You’ve stumped me with #SCOTUS

  128. 128.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Didn’t Celine Dijon sing My Heart Will Go on its Journey to the Edge of the Night

  129. 129.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Amir Khalid: I think the situation here is that Republicans aren’t as aghast about Trump as they claim to be. It’s why I think they’ll unite behind him at about 95%.

  132. 132.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Mike in NC:

    Give it another 4-6 weeks and Graham will be falling all over himself to endorse Trump.

    Exactly. There will be some Trumpian speechlikething, perhaps at the convention where Trump makes some weasel word apology for not being politically correct enough because he isn’t a politician and doesn’t words or something as well as politicians and then all the Lindsey Graham’s and David Brooks of the world can hug him into respect.

  134. 134.

    MomSense

    @Ruckus:

    If you like mayo try roasted red pepper aioli or just purée the crap out of roasted red peppers and slowly add mayo and a bit of olive oil.

    Also too pesto mayo and fries.

  135. 135.

    Brachiator

    Your moment of Hamilton Awesomeness:

    Pop Culture Happy Hour: ‘Hamilton’

    And at some point, we decided we needed to go to Hamilton, and we needed to go with [our treasured regular panelist Gene Demby] . And months and months later, in the first week of March, we made it happen. This is the week we finally get to bring you the conversations I’ve been trying to bring you for almost six months. Hooray!

  136. 136.

    humboldtblue

    @joel hanes: Now we are dealing with a right-wing talk radio host turned teabagger congressman who represents Klamath, Greg Walden, fucking over the Klamath dam removal project.

    Rather then follow the science, the Tribe’s and their unassailable (five times Tribes have won in court over senior water rights) water rights the planned removal of four antiquated dams has been dropped because the Republican congress failed to address the issue by the end of last year. Instead of following through on the agreement Walden decided to poison the final draft with a federal land give-away to Klamath farmers

  137. 137.

    Schlemazel (parmesan rancor)

    As a Minnesotan I have always felt I lived in Canada’s Southern province. I’d make it official if they would let us

  138. 138.

    smith

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Republicans aren’t as aghast about Trump as they claim to be

    I agree. There’s no great principle at stake here for them. They’re just miffed that he’s likely to lose them an election that they thought they had a good shot at going in.

  139. 139.

    seaboogie

    The year that we moved to Canada (at 15, therefore primed to explore all manner of exotic junk food and candy) Hostess had, for a brief time, grape, orange and cherry flavored potato chips. Couldn’t bear to imagine what that would taste like, so I didn’t.

    Last year when I visited family in Canada, I saw (but did not try) President’s Choice (Loblaws premium store brand) Poutine flavored potato chips, which sounded pretty genius to me.

    And speaking of regional specialties in the potato chip world….

  140. 140.

    redshirt

    Anecdote observation: The people on the Canadian and Maine borders are generally the same ethnicity. Either French or Irish or Scottish or English. And yet, when you drive across the border from America to Canada, you can’t help but notice the difference.

    The American side is trash. Literally, houses covered in trash: dead vehicles on the lawn, bags of trash ripped open, piles of lumber askance, etc, whereas on the Canadian side, everyone’s house, even the obvious poor, is neat and clean and well maintained.

    Is this a country difference? A local difference beyond borders? Or a problem with the observer?

  142. 142.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Bonus scenario: Franklin Graham saves Trump and we all get to watch Trump invite the Lord Jesus Christ into his heart as his Personal Savior on national teevee.

  148. 148.

    John Revolta

    @Bill E Pilgrim: English has a very large vocabulary, much larger than most other languages. Also more irregular spellings and pronounciations. All this causes much stress. And everyone knows stress is a serious health hazard. QED MFs.

  155. 155.

    chris

    @redshirt: Unlike Maine we have an actual social safety net here. And Maritimers have been mostly poor but damn proud and industrious for ever.

  158. 158.

    redshirt

    @chris: This is my theory too. Played out over generations.
    You never see that house with walls of trash and cars and hot water heaters etc. in Canada. But you see them the moment you cross the border into Maine.

    I’ve concluded there is literally more mentally challenged people per capita in America then in Canada, because of the different societies we’ve “chosen”.

  159. 159.

    Randy P

    Here’s the punditry that’s annoying me the most today.

    It seems Hillary has lost the white males. All of them. Uh-huh, right. From pandering too hard to the minorities.

    If you read the quotes from the people they interview though, you find stuff like this:

    “Instead, she’s talking a lot about continuing Obama’s policies,” he said. “I just don’t necessarily agree with all of the liberal ideas of Obama.”

    Somehow, I don’t think she “lost” these voters, as in ever had them. Also, here’s the big “problem”:

    But Mrs. Clinton is clearly focusing more so far on nonwhites, who provide outsize shares of the delegates needed to win the nomination. Her political message, events and surrogate speakers have been geared largely to blacks and Hispanics, from denouncing gun violence and police abuses to promising improvements in immigration and education.

    Oh the horror! She needs to be pro-shooting and pro-abuse if she wants to win!

    This is supposedly a platform that 70% of the white males in America disagree with. Now, the white males I know tend to be Quakers so they’re maybe not a representative sample but… I still don’t think the Times has their finger on the pulse of America on this one.

  160. 160.

    smith

    @Randy P: This is the perennial “Bubba Problem” — it comes up every four years and somehow the Dems usually do quite nicely without them.

  162. 162.

    chris

    @redshirt: Funny thing. The water heaters and stuff come out to the side of the road for spring and fall cleanup when the garbage and recycling trucks take everything. Screws up the traffic flow, yes both vehicles, because people like to stop and see if there’s anything useful. Calls for heads-up driving when the piles first appear.

  168. 168.

    seaboogie

    @redshirt: @chris:
    I agree with both of you. With the exception of the oil and energy fracas in the late 70’s/early 80’s (Let those eastern bastards freeze in the dark!), Canada has an oddly strong national identity made up of super disparate parts that is rooted in a social compact. It has a relatively small population on a large land mass that it mostly unihabitable on a practical basis, so I think there is a “We’ll succeed together, or die trying” ethos there, v the IGMFY here. So even the poor have a modicum of dignity there. In fact, Ontario is trying a “basic minimum income” excercise (instead of welfare), so the survival and dignity of the individual contributing to the survival of the collective gives everyone hope and purpose, more or less.

  169. 169.

    Linnaeus

    Having grown up about a 30 min. drive to the Canadian border, I’ve often felt I have more in common with the folks across the river than I do with my countrymen 2,000+ miles away.

  170. 170.

    seaboogie

    @chris: Not sure if they still do it, but Tiburon, CA – which is a super-affluent community where I used to live- also has a day or two a year when you can put big, random stuff out for recycling that will be collected. It’s like a huge, slow garage sale, but for free. I’m sure that Redwood Disposal Co appreciates the pickers doing the early cull for them.

  172. 172.

    seaboogie

    @Linnaeus:

    Having grown up about a 30 min. drive to the Canadian border, I’ve often felt I have more in common with the folks across the river than I do with my countrymen 2,000+ miles away.

    So true. In fact, geography is really everything. I lived in Canada 25 years, have visited a fair bit of it, and it seems to me that there is more north/south affinity than there is east/west – especially as the majority of Canadians live within 100 miles or so of the US border.

  174. 174.

    Svensker

    Ketchup potato chips? Pfffft That ain’t nothing. I can’t speak for all of Canada, but here in Ontario people use garlic/mayo dip for their PIZZA! ! ! Let that sink in… I have actually heard people discuss which pizza place has the best dip. Totally disgusting. It could be because the pizza tastes like cardboard, though.

    I kind of like dill pickle potato chips, although they do seem to eat away the lining on the roof of my mouth faster than other flavors.

  175. 175.

    schrodinger's cat

    There is a tiny hole-in-the-wall place in South Bombay (Mumbai) where they make the best potato chips in the world. Their secret, the chips are fried in ghee. They make small batches everyday. The only flavored variety is spicy chips dusted with cayenne. I like the original, the best.

  177. 177.

    RedKitten

    @LAO: They script those shows to make people look like raging assholes. Especially Love It or List It. It’s egregious.

  178. 178.

    RedKitten

    @redshirt: Depends on where you go. We definitely have our areas of dogpatch, with dilapidated trailers and multiple broken-down cars in the yard. But yeah…there IS a difference. When Himself went to Baxter State Park, he noticed that the poverty he saw near Millinocket was just way, way worse than anything here. Better safety net here, perhaps?

    Getting back to chips, I’m actually not a fan of ketchup chips. But I’m not a fan of ketchup in general. It’s just not my thing. The ones I go bonkers for are Miss Vickie’s Lime and Black Pepper. Delish. But the Old Dutch Sour Cream ‘n’ Onion ripple chips are also excellent.

    /connoisseur

  179. 179.

    chris

    @seaboogie: The trucks are every 2 weeks and don’t forget the compost truck. Garbage separated into clear bags is the law. Your garbage will be left with a warning the first time and tickets thereafter. Compliance is very high.

  180. 180.

    chris

    @Svensker: Pizza dip ain’t nothin. Look up Donair the official sandwich of Halifax, NS. People put the sauce on everything. I can’t even

  181. 181.

    Prescott Cactus

    I got hot dog flavored potato chips in Pittsburgh once. I believe I was an unknowing subject of a marketing or IQ test. Regardless, I failed miserably

  182. 182.

    HRA

    Born in Canada across the river from Detroit, brought to the US at age 12 and have lived about 10 miles from the bridge back to Ft. Erie in Canada. I have had the best of both countries IMHO.

    I was shocked the first time someone said you Canucks always say “eh”. Yes, it was both the word Canuck and the eh I never heard of as I was growing up. So as anywhere I had to dismiss the idjiots from the nice people.
    The truth is I have been fortunate to have had both countries in my life.

    Yes, Lacrosse was the main sport although for as long as I can remember I was addicted to ice skating. I could boast about a Red Wing player as a neighbor who taught all of us to play hockey on the rink he made in his backyard.
    My Dad’s fondest memory was having a young Gordie Howe as a customer and a friend.

  185. 185.

    seaboogie

    Since posting the link @141, I ran an errand in my car, and had a squirrel who would not get out of the way until I honked my horn at the post office in our little village. Then a squirrel in my yard tippy-toed over the large spikes of the redwood fence as he approached me quite closely (normally they keep their distance). Apparently word gets out, and the squirrrlz haz their own internets. If that’s what a linky can do, I am steering very clear of actually sourcing and consuming Cajun Squirrel potato chips, else it get more Hitchcockian here – or Zombie squirrels rise from the omnipresent road kill to bang on the windows and doors.

  186. 186.

    seaboogie

    @RedKitten: Very multi-cultural – in the Canadian tradition. Good to see you here!

    ETA: I have not found decent pita bread since I left Canadia. Granted, I live in the sourdough capital of the world, but still – I guess I just took bags of decent pita for granted in Toronto and Vancouver.

  187. 187.

    prob50

    shit, I’m American too, but I think the Canuckler’s should give us all shit for not having found some way to exile and revoke Trump’s citizenship.

    But why DO all the Canadian hockey teams suck??

  189. 189.

    Kropadope

    I’ll go for ketchup on fries, hot dogs, burgers, and eggs (but only scrambled eggs or an omelette). Never had dried powdered ketchup on a chip before. I’d try it. I’d try anything once, doesn’t seem like it would be quite the same, tho.

  190. 190.

    Ruckus

    @karen marie:
    It’s been a long time ago but my memory is that crisps were fries in Belgium. You bought them from a crisp stand, that’s all they served and they only had mayo.

  191. 191.

    shomi

    Muckymux talking about sheit he doesn’t know much about again.

    As far as I know you can still buy ketchup flavoured chips. It tastes kinda like barbecue chips only sweeter.

  192. 192.

    Barney

    I can’t believe an American thinks they have the high ground on potato chip/crisp flavours. You have supermarkets with multiple shelves of identical-tasting bland shite.

Comments are closed.