Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Optimism opens the door to great things.

You cannot shame the shameless.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Come on, man.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

The revolution will be supervised.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

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171Comments

  4. 4.

    Gin & Tonic

    Looks like I will be faced with the painful but inevitable task of disowning my son. As an almost life-long Knickerbockers fan I tried to bring him up right. It lasted for a while, but eventually he became, I shutter to admit, a Celtics fan. I guess I could cut him some slack – growing up in New England, being in high school and rooting not just for a NY team, but one which seldom made it to .500, would be a tall order. Youthful fling, I thought.

    But I was talking with him the other day, and he compared the Knicks to the Cleveland Browns. I was crushed. I was appalled. Any right-thinking person can see I have no choice now.

    Where have I gone wrong?

  5. 5.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I haven’t heard this song in too long! One to add to my playlist. Thanks Tamara

  8. 8.

    Punchy

    The spawn’s in REM, the better half in Facebook, the greyhounds in awe of my cheese, and Im getting my BJ on. Woulda meant something completely diff 10 years ago….sigh.

  11. 11.

    Gin & Tonic

    @redshirt: Long-time ABC guy here (anyone but the Celtics.) There’s a less-than-zero chance I’m getting on your bandwagon.

  18. 18.

    Mike J

    @Omnes Omnibus: But not as much as he had on So. Central Rain. The first time I saw them was on Reckoning, and they did the whole thing with the paper screens on stage too.

    I had seen local bands cover Radio Free Europe at least a year before I ever saw them though. My friend Davis told me Michael saw them do it and said, “I liked your lyrics better.” Which he probably said to every local band he saw.

  20. 20.

    redshirt

    @Mike J: Thanks for getting the reference that fast.

    I forget which live recording it is, but there’s a fan yelling “BOXCAR!” and for some reason I’ve never forgotten.

  21. 21.

    lamh36

    Gonna be going to bed early today. Had a long day at work so I’m still hella tired..

    Anyhoo, before I go, wanted to share this….

    Question: What would you do if you came home or was leaving the house and saw this?

    @NBCNewYork
    Endangered panther takes rest on family porch http://4.nbcny.com/kywyVTo

  25. 25.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    He, Twin Cities Juicers! This Sunday, April 3rd, I’ll be at the Har Mar Barnes & Noble in Roseville, signing copies of Becoming Phoebe. Come get yours autographed, for surely once this thing becomes bigger than The Hunger Games, your signed first edition will be VALUABLE!

  27. 27.

    SFAW

    @Gin & Tonic:

    As an almost life-long Knickerbockers fan I tried to bring him up right. It lasted for a while, but eventually he became, I shutter to admit, a Celtics fan.

    You poor bastard. I sympathize. I also pre-date the Dolans — may they burn in Hell — and have tried to keep my hoop spirits up over the last 5 10 15 20 fuckload of years.

    On the other hand: Bill Russell was a great player and was/is a great man, and — Celtic ‘tho he was — I cannot feel anything but admiration for him. And Bird was OK, I guess, as a 6th man. But fuck Danny Ainge, that racist fuck.

  28. 28.

    Mike J

    @redshirt: It was an event for people who had spent half a semester sitting in a dorm room figuring out lyrics while high. dB’s opening, and Holsapple taught Buck the chords to See No Evil during the encore.

  31. 31.

    lamh36

    Hm…alot of folks I work with and on my twitter TL, seem to all be watching that show on WGN called “Underground”….Its been 4 eps I think, might have to binge watch it? Does anyone know if WGN is on HULU?

    Anyhoo, I’m off to bed early I guess. I’ve got a student tech shadowing me tomorrow, so I guess it’d be unprofessional if I’m yawning the entire time.

  32. 32.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh36:

    We get all kinds of wild animals in urban LA, because there are a lot of hills that are too steep to be built on. This part of the San Fernando Valley has mountain lions, bears, and coyotes, plus deer and the usual urban critters (raccoons, opossums, rabbits, etc).

    I don’t have the link at the moment, but a koala was recently killed at the Los Angeles Zoo, and they’re pretty sure it was done by a mountain lion that lives in the same park. They’re making sure all of their animals are locked up at night now.

  38. 38.

    lamh36

    @JoyAnnReid 17m17 minutes ago
    Sanders to #maddow on whether he will eventually start fundraising for the Democratic Party and down ticket candidates: “we’ll see.”

    Too cute by half Bernie…too cute. I hope he followed that up with of course I will?

  39. 39.

    Dork

    What percentage of an average day does a German Shepherd bark incessently? 83% ? 91% ? Friggin neighbor’s dog is killing me.

  44. 44.

    lamh36

    Can we get a 3rd term? This letter to/from Obama kill me everytime

    Asked and Answered: An 11-Year-Old Daughter of An Incarcerated Individual Shares Her Story

    In a letter, an 11-year-old asked the President to help make it easier for her father to get a job and find the support he needs after he is released from prison.

    Among the 2.2 million people incarcerated in state and federal prisons, more than half are parents of children below the age of 18.
    It’s a staggering statistic, with real consequences for the children who live with a parent in prison — many of whom are serving out a punishment that does not fit their crime.
    When 11-year-old Madison’s dad was sent to prison, Madison looked for books to help her cope with her sadness and disappointment. When she couldn’t find any that could help her, she wrote her own.
    Now, her father is set to be released this August. Madison’s greatest worry is that he won’t have the support he needs to find a job, a home, and a new life that will give them both an opportunity to see each other. So she wrote President Obama to see if there’s anything he can do to help ensure her father and other convicted felons get that support — and President Obama responded.
    Read their letters below…

  46. 46.

    SFAW

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Ungrateful little bastard. Kick him out and never look back.

    It may be that the brat kid is just going through the standard rebellious phase, and will come to his senses. Or that he’s just trolling.

    At least, I hope it’s one of those.

  48. 48.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @lamh36:

    Question: What would you do if you came home or was leaving the house and saw this?

    Answer: I would hug him and squeeze him and take him home with me and name him George.

    Duh.

  51. 51.

    SFAW

    @Gin & Tonic:

    You want me to have a head injury *and* become a Celtics fan?

    I think the point was that you need the first one to get the second one.

  55. 55.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    I had my first fb experience with a berniebro earlier. A lawyer from Yale no less. My Canadian friend who started it all off with Sarah Silverman’s video deleted everything already. I went on fb political hiatus for a few years and I need to go back. While watching The Americans.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @lamh36: Jesus, is that more dickish or stupid

    I don’t want to start the latest edition of The Fight, so I haven’t mentioned how stupid and counterproductive his hand-waving* about Trump’s abortion statement is.

    *I didn’t see it, I’m going by what Rachel Maddow says Sadners told her, that this was just one more stupid statement by Trump that will distract from more important issues. I’m an em-pen*sed-American and I tend to think abortion rights are pretty fucking important.

  61. 61.

    redshirt

    @Renie: No spoilers but vague allusions: I was mildly disappointed in that final episode, only because they put Chekhov’s mini gun on the mantle and didn’t use it. But it was a fantastic season and they obviously left a lot to be continued in a future season.

  63. 63.

    SFAW

    @Gin & Tonic:

    He’s a man now, unfortunately, so I can’t kick him out.

    The only excuse for not doing so is that he doesn’t live with you. If he does, then kneecap him first, and he will become much more … um, compliant, after that.

    And if you’re too squeamish to do it yourself, wot wif him being yer offspring and all, perhaps Siubhan will do it for you? She might not even charge you for the job. (You didn’t know she used to be a mob enforcer, did you?)

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne

    @trollhattan:

    They’ve gotten pretty aggressive in beautiful downtown Burbank. Some people and their dogs have been chased by groups of coyotes (3 or 4 at a time, which I think doesn’t quite qualify as a pack).

  67. 67.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @SFAW:

    (You didn’t know she used to be a mob enforcer, did you?)

    Everyone knows that, you fucking cudlip.

  73. 73.

    SFAW

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Why am I always the last to know the important shit? God DAMMIT!

    But what’s a “cudlip”?

    @redshirt:

    Hmm, Nets, right?

    Buncha gorram Commies. Or at least owned by one. One can only hope that Prokhorov is one of Putin’s nemeses.

  74. 74.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh36:

    I’ve only seen the ads for “Underground,” but telling that story has a lot of great potential for a series — talk about your high stakes! I hope they’re able to pull it off.

  77. 77.

    Gin & Tonic

    @SFAW: I didn’t know that about her, no. But I live in RI – plenty of underemployed muscle here these days.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    I hate when you get caught up on a book series and discover that the next one hasn’t been published yet. That’s happened to me three times now, and all I can do is pre-order the next book. Damn it.

  81. 81.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @SFAW:
    ‘Cudlip’ is a reference to a former local troll, who among many other obnoxious behaviors would make up his/her own jargon and then mock us for not being up to date on it. ‘Cudlip’ was this troll’s most common insult.

  82. 82.

    lamh36

    @Omnes Omnibus: yes, the Southern University system has always been a public system. Out of the oh, 107 HBCU, SU systme is one of only 40 public HBCUs in the country, I believe. It’s def one of the biggest if not used to be the biggest in terms of enrollment.

    Also 1 of 4 Law Schools in the state and 1 of 2 public law schools along with LSU I think

  83. 83.

    SFAW

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I didn’t know that about her, no.

    You shouldn’t have admitted that. Now Omnes will go all-Cheesehead-like on your butt.

    But I live in RI – plenty of underemployed muscle here these days.

    If you mean efgoldman, I think he is retired, which is not necessarily the same as “underemployed.”

  88. 88.

    rikyrah

    @lamh36:
    You should binge watch it. I watched it last weekend. Well written, well acted. So many times you will have to remind yourself…we were PROPERTY. We had no right to say no…EVER.

  91. 91.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Omnes Omnibus: First story on the 11:00 news tonight was about the FBI and the Medical Examiner’s office with a backhoe behind an old factory in Providence.

  96. 96.

    danielx

    New definition of LOUD purr: when you are sitting at the kitchen table and the cat is down the hall and up the stairs and you still hear a noise resembling a chain saw.

  97. 97.

    lamh36

    @Omnes Omnibus: one of my younger sisters currently attends SUBR. She’s graduating in December.

    I’ve forwarded the article to her, but its nothing she doesn’t already know since she goes there daily.

    It’s just sad to see, I remember way back in ’94 when I got on the yard, and it was like a whole new adult life…on this big beautiful campus. To see the decline is just sas.

  99. 99.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @SFAW:
    I’m worried it’ll get blocked. I’ll try to code disguise it. Matoko-chan. Favorite hobby horses included how Islam could not be proselytized, the genetically based intellectual inferiority of Christians, and Julian Assange as the great hero who rendered government security systems obsolete. Oh, and lecturing us about the demographic timer as if we’d never heard of it.

  104. 104.

    Steeplejack

    @lamh36:

    If you’ve got cable, check your “on demand” section. On my system (Cox) the episodes so far are all available.

  107. 107.

    Renie

    @redshirt: I know Jessica Jones is related but I only saw a few episodes and really couldn’t get into it but I have heard good stuff about it so I may have to try it again. Is there another show?

  108. 108.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Daniel Aubry ‏@ Aubs89 2h2 hours ago Manhattan, NY
    If Sanders was the nominee he’d ask President Obama to withdraw SCOTUS nomination. Hillary “not comfortable with this”

    Huh.

  109. 109.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    and told us, repeatedly, how that movie would change everything.

    You mean it didn’t? Didn’t all the Oscar noms for Best Picture this year feature blue 10-footers with tails?

  110. 110.

    Steeplejack

    @Mnemosyne:

    Happens to me all too often with mysteries and crime novels. Especially bad when I discover a new series and binge-read them all, then run into the wait for the next one.

  111. 111.

    Lamh36

    @Steeplejack: I’ve got Cox as well but I downgraded my cable package so I no longer pay for On Demand…just regular ole min box…so I get most lower channels and upper big name channels but no On Demand capability

  112. 112.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Steeplejack: or your author dies (PD James), or your favorite protagonist (would it be a spoiler if the last novel is probably fifteen years old?) I’m glad Ian Rankin can’t seem to quite give up on Rebus.

  113. 113.

    redshirt

    @Renie: Well, a character that appeared in Jessica Jones will have his own show this September – Luke Cage. I’m very excited. And then sometime early next year Luke Cage’s crimefighting buddy will get a show – Iron Fist. Iron Fist, by the way, delves into a lot of the same ninja stuff this season of DD did. Left undetermined at this time is if JJ will get a second season (most likely) and DD will get a third (most likely), leading into the already announced but yet to be scheduled show called “Defenders”, which is when all these individual people will team up, like in the Avengers.

  114. 114.

    Disgruntled former Baud supporter

    Chronic Town all the way!

    — “Make my sh!t the Chronic Town” —

    Fables might be my favorite REM, though.

  116. 116.

    Mnemosyne

    @Steeplejack:

    I had kind of gotten away from reading new fiction for a bit, so I had forgotten how annoying it is to get to the stopping point of a series. At least I can pre-order them on Kindle and have them magically appear on the release day (and usually for slightly less than list price, too).

  120. 120.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: It was going to radically change the consciousness center of the majority of people and usher in an age of trans-humanism and tribal recognition. Or something.

  127. 127.

    redshirt

    @Renie: It’s quite remarkable that Marvel has created a single film franchise that will encompass some 20+ movies when done, all telling an overall tale, and that most of these movies are gigantic blockbusters, but now they’re doing the same thing on Netflix with original TV shows.

    Nothing even remotely like this has ever been done before, and it will change Hollywood. The change is already underway – see DC’s efforts, see a Star Wars movie coming out each year for the next several years.

  129. 129.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    The Jets were not total losers this year. (Well, last year.) And, although I can’t stand Fitzpatrick, he was part of the reason they finished 10-6. Of course, he was also part of the reason they didn’t do better.

  130. 130.

    redshirt

    @Gin & Tonic: Wait, you live in RI – in New England – and are upset with your son for rooting for the team an hour away? The New England team?

    Maybe you should re-evaluate your New York City fandom. I mean, why? What has NYC ever done for RI?

  132. 132.

    Steeplejack

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    It doesn’t bother me (as much) when an author dies. At least then you know there aren’t going to be any more books. But when the series is active all I can picture is the author dicking around when he or she should be finishing that next book, damn it. And then I get mad if the next book finally comes out and it’s a phone-it-in job. (Looking at you, Lee Child.) Sigh.

    And your mention of Rebus reminds me of my other problem, i.e., if I read a series up to a point and then leave it for a while—for whatever reason (including that the author is taking a long time or is on hiatus)—sometimes I forget about it, and then when I want to come back to it I can’t remember where I left off. Did that with the Rebus novels, also with Peter Robinson’s Inspector Banks series. There’s a DCI Banks TV series that got me thinking about getting back into the novels, but I’d have no idea where to start.

  133. 133.

    redshirt

    @Steeplejack: Hello! Game of Thrones AKA A Song of Fire and Ice.

    The author has been dicking around, reveling in his new found celebrity. And it’s created a unique moment in human art – when the same story is told in two mediums, and one medium outpaces the author’s original story. Never happened before that I know of.

  134. 134.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    You might not realize that there used to be a fairly large contingent of non-New-Yorkers living in New England and rooting for the Giants. Mostly older fans – from the days before the AFL existed. My dear, late, mother-in-law (may she RIP) was among them. She was born in Maine, lived there almost her entire life.

    The Celtics – that’s a different story, of course.

  136. 136.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: I know them well. To my shame, my father and uncle (his brother) are still Giants fans even though both were born and mostly lived in Maine, as was their father. All three are/were also Yankees fans for related reasons.

    Shameful.

  137. 137.

    p.a.

    @efgoldman: Can’t shake a stick in this state… met this guy when I answered a c list ad for old tlr cameras. Besides the link ‘issues’, turns out he was living 2 blocks from me when he was buster with a couple pounds of dope.

  138. 138.

    Mnemosyne

    G is a fan of this movie review show out of Wis-CAHN-sin “Half in the Bag” where they drink beer and review movies. I can always tell when he’s watching it in the other room because one of the guys has the most piercing laugh outside of Charlie Day from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” I seriously can hear just that laugh from two rooms away.

  140. 140.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SFAW:

    And if you’re too squeamish to do it yourself, wot wif him being yer offspring and all, perhaps Siubhan will do it for you? She might not even charge you for the job. (You didn’t know she used to be a mob enforcer, did you?)

    From now on, only other people get to write my résumé. I’m simply not up to the task.

  144. 144.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @Mnemosyne:

    I hate when you get caught up on a book series and discover that the next one hasn’t been published yet.

    I’m almost caught up on the Buffy comic books, which means I’ll get to experience that feeling every month.

  145. 145.

    Mnemosyne

    @Prescott Cactus:

    Nah, three romance series — Mary Balogh, Lisa Kleypas, and Mary Jo Putney.

    It does crack me up that Ronald Moore is such a fan of “Outlander” that he made it into a TV series. Does he not realize it’s a romance series, or does he just not care?

  148. 148.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    To my shame, my father and uncle (his brother) are still Giants fans even though both were born and mostly lived in Maine, as was their father.

    And yet, somehow you managed to survive that traumatic experience.

    Yes, it’s always good fun when (ungrateful) offspring are ashamed of their progenitors.

  153. 153.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    The children are the future. Treat them well and let them lead the way.

    Or drown them in a bucket before they can turn into ungrateful snots.

  155. 155.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: Not even an attempt? I’m sincerely curious how RI could be more influenced by NY than CT. My first assumption would just be difference in population – RI’s pretty small and so the NY effect has more impact. But CT is so close to and part of NY in so many ways, yet no one thinks they’ve got NY influenced accents.

    Is it an Italian thing, perhaps?

  157. 157.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: They’ve even got it worse. I truly pity the County folk. But even the Portland area of Maine can be like 6-8 weeks behind Southern CT when it comes to Spring blooms.

    The dirt and trees are different too.

  159. 159.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    But even the Portland area of Maine can be like 6-8 weeks behind Southern CT when it comes to Spring blooms.

    Was there this weekend, but didn’t think to check the flora.

    But I saw one big honkin’ rabbit.

  160. 160.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: I’ve yet to see a bear, though I’ve seen bear scat on my very own trails. And I found a bear-bait spot hidden in the woods about a mile from here (which I destroyed). I did come face to face with a totally awkward moose – he was missing an antler and looked ridiculous. He turned and ran.

  161. 161.

    J R in WV

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I was once stalked by a cougar in Arizona, in my cousin’s back yard. I ate dinner with her and left the house about 9:30 to go to the little RV we had in her backyard while we worked to build out little winter camp. When I went around the back corner of her house, the wind direction changed and I smelled it.

    They were driven down out of the mountains into the ranch valley by a major forest fire in the Chiracahua mountains. Then I saw it a couple of days later on. I love me some painters, but they make me carry a pistol, as my momma didn’t raise me to be no lion kibble!!

    Painters are the WV holler talk for big cats in the woods. The DNR claims they are all gone, but I worked with strip mine inspectors who were in the back or beyond parts of the state every day, and they all knew there were still lions in the hills.

  162. 162.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: This spring is a weird one as Boston and Portland are mostly identical in terms of flora. Usually Boston’s a good 3-4 weeks ahead, but the mildness of this past winter extended up here too. I’ve even got buds ready to bloom, and that’s a a good 6-8 weeks ahead of last year.

  163. 163.

    SFAW

    @J R in WV:

    I was once stalked by a cougar in Arizona

    For a second, I thought you were going to tell us that you once shot an elephant in your pajamas.

  165. 165.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: Maple, actually. Sap season is even already over, again, about 4 weeks early.

    This weekend promises to be some kind of armageddon for Northern New England though, as temps in the 60’s-70’s for Thu-Fri-Sat will lead directly into temps in the low 20’s -10’s throughout the region, which might cause many plants to bud then get frozen and die. Could seriously effect the apple crop.

  166. 166.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @redshirt:
    It’s happened several times in manga/anime adaptations. Rozen Maiden and Soul Eater leap to mind, because the TV shows had to come up with their own endings, which were better than the originals!

  168. 168.

    redshirt

    @SFAW: I’m no apple farmer so I’m right there with you. It’s an interesting dynamic and I assume global warming will bring about many more situations like this – subtle climate imbalances that can wreck a local area’s plants that aren’t adapted to such extremes.

  170. 170.

    NotoriousJRT

    Thanks for that. Heard a country cover of this last week and all I could think was how pale it was next to Sonia Dada.

  171. 171.

    Uncle Cosmo

    Dead thread, but FTR I just ran into the term “cudlip” in the last 48 hours, in Richard K. Morgan’s 2008 novel Thirteen (titled Black Man in original UK release). Cudlip = ruminant = cattle = slang term used by the atavistic genetically-modified “variant thirteen” humans for the rest of humanity in the early 2100s. FWIW you’re a fan of Bladerunner-dark SF, RKM is definitely worth a read–start with this one or his debut, Altered Carbon, which is the intro to the Takeshi Kovacs series,

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