Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Come on, man.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

This fight is for everything.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

This really is a full service blog.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

You are here: Home / Politics / domestic terrorists / Late Night Open Thread: When ‘Satire’ Fails

Late Night Open Thread: When ‘Satire’ Fails

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On the other hand, Original Nixon-Era Rodent-Copulator Roger Stone may not be joking, if you believe Buzzfeed…

Historical reference, just in case.

Reader Interactions

58Comments

  1. 1.

    toschek

    No matter who gets the GOP nod, it’ll go down as “The Mistake on the Lake Pt. II” — and I say this as a born and raised Cleveland native.

  3. 3.

    Mnemosyne

    April Fools’ Day is the holiday celebrating people who love jokes but have no idea how they work.

    So it’s like every American drinking holiday ever?

  4. 4.

    Cacti

    For those who enjoy good bar stool sports arguments, ESPN has released their rankings of all 77 NCAA men’s basketball champions.

    The top 10 are:

    1. UCLA 1971-72
    2. Indiana 1975-76
    3. UCLA 1972-73
    4. San Francisco 1955-56
    5. UCLA 1967-68
    6. UCLA 1966-67
    7. Texas Western 1965-66
    8. North Carolina 1956-57
    9. North Carolina 1981-82
    10. NC State 1973-74

    Link

  6. 6.

    ? Martin

    @efgoldman: Yeah, that’s the problem with both the Sanders and Trump campaigns. They both claim to want to burn the place down, but only one group of supporters realizes its a metaphor.

  8. 8.

    trollhattan

    I am informed this is for real. Given my spouse and family lived for a time in the Missouri Ozarks, I’m inclined to believe it.

  10. 10.

    Cacti

    @trollhattan:

    Now if they could just pass a resolution prohibiting the yokels from pronouncing the name of the state as Muh-zurr-uh.

    I’m Missourian by birth and that shit always drove me nuts.

  11. 11.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Cacti: It depends on what part of Missouri you’re from. My dad(born and raised in Springfield) usually called it Muh-zurr-uh.

    @Amir Khalid: Agree with KThug.

    @Cacti: I’ve heard of that school that had the 1, 3, 5, and 6 teams.

  13. 13.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Roger Stone is a die-hard Nixon loyalist to this day.

    All you need to know about him.

  14. 14.

    Calouste

    @Amir Khalid: We might know Sander’s true nature after April 26th. About 10% of the total delegates are on offer that day, with another 6% in NY the week earlier. He needs to win those two days be a good margin to stay competitive. Even if he draws with Clinton (unlikely according to the polls), he will need a 20% margin in the primaries after that to win.

    That would probably be a very appropriate day for him to suspend his campaign.

  15. 15.

    Yutsano

    @Calouste: From what I understand he’s not stopping until after California. He thinks a huge win in a delegate rich state like that (and it would have to be Washington caucus HUGE) is his strongest path to victory. So this thing ain’t over until then.

  16. 16.

    ? Martin

    @Calouste: I’m of the opinion that so long as he’s not doing harm, he can stay in until the convention. I don’t mind Clinton being pulled left. I think it’s good that Sanders is able to fundraise and generate enthusiasm – he just needs to redirect that appropriately at the convention.

  17. 17.

    ? Martin

    @Yutsano: I would be surprised if he won California. We are not exactly in need of Democratic saviors here. Mostly we just want someone to get the fuck out of the way – we got this.

  19. 19.

    ? Martin

    @efgoldman: Sure, but arithmetic isn’t all that matters. Truth is, Sanders is raising a ton of money and getting a ton of enthusiasm from key demographics in the party. He has a real opportunity to continue that activity right up to the convention and start steering it in Clinton’s and downparty races as we approach the convention. If he’s really in this as a loyal Democrat (and I think that’s Calouste’s concern here) then he’ll be able to do far more good by staying in than harm. Another $50M in small dollar donations and an army of volunteers is well worth it.

  21. 21.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    @? Martin: his elitist surrogates are constantly dropping poison in the well. Susan Sarandon telling people Trump will usher in a revolution. Some d-list actress telling people Clinton is going to be indicted. Another surrogate saying blacks who vote for Clinton are ignorant. Cornell West saying John Lewis is a coward who has lost his way. A D-list rapper saying Clinton is nothing more than a uterus. Now some supporters are showing up to Clinton rallies trying to shout her down.

    Imagine the outrage and scandal if Clinton’s surrogates were saying Sanders is going to jail. Hell remember the freak out when 2 BLM women shut down one of his rallies.

  22. 22.

    Viva BrisVegas

    @Amir Khalid:

    What really bothers me about this story is that the actor who played Keith in The Partridge Family is now 65.

    What I can’t believe is that he nailed Laurie (be still my aching heart).

    David Cassidy was the Justin Beiber of my adolescence. Mysteriously untalented.

    As a historical footnote, it turns out that the Weathermen didn’t have any fucking idea of which way the wind blew.

  23. 23.

    SectionH

    @Cacti: WTF? Yokels? You mean people who grew up in the big EBIL communist city of St. Louis? Who said Misooruh?

  24. 24.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    @? Martin: he’s not going to help clinton or down ballot dems. This is a guy who joined Trump in 2011 calling for the ouster of the first Black President. This is a guy who wouldn’t join the vermont democratic party and instead split the liberal vote and handed a congressional race to the republicans in 1988. This is a guy who also primaried a liberal vermont governor, the first and only female vermont governor, in 1986.

    It’s always been about him and his ego.

  25. 25.

    Mnemosyne

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    I’m about half convinced that it came from Universal, so you might not have heard it anyway. It was loud enough that it startled the cats off the couch, but the window was open.

  26. 26.

    SectionH

    @? Martin: “so long as he’s not doing harm” – I hope he still isn’t, but I’m pissed off that decades of R lying crap thrown at Hillary is being regurgitated by ostensible Berners. TBFair, it’s sometimes hard to tell which are Bernie’s and which are rfing Trolls.

    @? Martin: I believe that.

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    I wonder what people will think if Bernie loses in both the delegate and popular vote count, then starts campaigning for pledged delegates and superdelegates to abandon Hillary and come over to him. Will they admire him for not giving up? Disapprove of his trying to overturn the voters’ expressed will?

  29. 29.

    Cacti

    @SectionH:

    WTF? Yokels? You mean people who grew up in the big EBIL communist city of St. Louis? Who said Misooruh?

    No, the people in St. Louis called it Missouree. Once you got about 30 minutes outside of the metro area north, south, or west, it turned into Muhzurruh.

    ETA: and don’t get me started on putting “r” into the word “wash”.

  30. 30.

    Amir Khalid

    @Cacti:
    In his performance of Shenandoah from The Seeger Sessions album, Bruce Springsteen called it Mizzourah.

  31. 31.

    Mary G

    Here is a great rant about Hillary vs. Bernie

    Where was he when Dodd-Frank was being forged? Was he engaged in the process, taking advantage of this historic opportunity to pass significant financial reform by pulling it in his direction? No, he was sitting on the sidelines and snarking about the repeal of Glass-Steagall, which actually played a very minor role in the financial crisis. And then there’s his insistence that Obama was weak and deserved to be primaried (grrrrrrrrr NOPE NOPE NOPE so much nope), and criticizing HRC for relying on superdelegates when he’s relying on the profoundly undemocratic caucus system, and then suddenly cynically deciding he’d like the superdelegates’ support after all please…if this is what the revolution looks like, color me unimpressed. The right’s revolution is frankly a lot closer to fruition.

  32. 32.

    Cacti

    @David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch:

    Some d-list actress telling people Clinton is going to be indicted.

    The same d-list actress going to Harlem and complaining about what a disappointment Obama has been.

    Does Bernie have a celebrity surrogate who isn’t completely tone deaf or clueless?

  34. 34.

    SectionH

    @Cacti: Too funny. So all my family in the central west end as they call it now didn’t actually say it with the schwa at the end? Srsly, we did. I know how to pronounce the “i” at the end in polite company of course, just as I know how to say Louie-ville when I’m not in Kentucky and say Lou-a-vul (sort of, that “-vul” isn’t exactly IPA, but I’m lazy) when I’m there.

    Ah, the “r”. When my mother noticed I was saying the “r” in Wash- words, she srsly didn’t like that, so I corrected my pronounciation.

    Years later my husband, who also had the “r” um, corrected growing up, told me about talking with a friend who grew up in Washington, DC, who had tendence warsh. She was the niece of a very long term, influential US Senator, and basically her attitude was Warshington was Just Fine, and ppl who worried about the “r” were silly pretenders.

    ETA: I love talking language, accents, etc – I get intense but in good fun

  35. 35.

    John Revolta

    @? Martin:

    If he’s really in this as a loyal Democrat

    Aha. Ahahahahaha. Very good indeed.

    @Cacti: @Amir Khalid: Lived in KCMO for a few
    long years (and Jersey even longer), it’s Missouree there. Nothin’ against the Boss, but I never heard anybody in Jersey talk the way he sings.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @Cacti:

    ETA: and don’t get me started on putting “r” into the word “wash”.

    Gosh, I was told that was an Ohio thing. The Spousal Unit picked it up from his grandmother, and it still slips out if he’s not careful. His fellow Michiganders found it risible!

  38. 38.

    SectionH

    @Amir Khalid: Springsteen is from New Jersey. I expect he took his cue from Seeger. Or possibly how the verses rhymed.

    @Anne Laurie: Well… Mr S is from Ohio. It was a “lower class” thing there and in St. Louis for sure. But apparently not so much in some other places.

  41. 41.

    Darkrose

    My wife tells the story of how her Massachusetts grandmother rhymed her son’s name (Arthur) with her daughter-in-law’s (Martha).

  42. 42.

    Anne Laurie

    @Darkrose: Massholes use the same number of terminal “r”s and vowels as everybody else, we just swap them around. So police spokespersons tend to discuss lore and ordah.

    Or the schoolroom classic: Around here, korea is what you do for a living; career is an Asian nation.

  43. 43.

    Darkrose

    @Anne Laurie: Oh yeah. I used to live out on the Brookline end of the Green Line B train. Sometimes instead of walking to Ahlington, I’d go all the way in to Pahk Street and back out so I could get a seat.

  44. 44.

    Origuy

    @John Revolta: It’s defiantly an Indiana thing. I heard it growing up (Bloomington) and David Letterman used to say “warsh” all the time on his show.

  45. 45.

    Cacti

    @Anne Laurie:

    Gosh, I was told that was an Ohio thing. The Spousal Unit picked it up from his grandmother, and it still slips out if he’s not careful. His fellow Michiganders found it risible!

    It’s definitely a lower midwest thing.

  46. 46.

    ruemara

    @? Martin: please inform me, how is he pulling HRC left? And the millions he’s taking in, where is it going? How are his volunteers doing with… anything?

    I hear your argument endlessly, yet I’m not seeing it manifest in reality.

  47. 47.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Anne Laurie:

    Around here, korea is what you do for a living; career is an Asian nation.

    In this household Korea is often referred to as Hankok(eh, that’s what it is in Korean).

  48. 48.

    Cacti

    Another grammatical oddity I remember from my Missouri youth was that a carbonated soft drink was often neither soda nor pop, it was a sodee.

    Is that a thing anywhere else in middle America?

  51. 51.

    magurakurin

    @Yutsano:

    So this thing ain’t over until then.

    In his mind for sure. But for most of the sentient world it will be over on April 26. If he wants to keep going and keep living the dream, he can. But I for one will be all just, “Bernie who?” by that point. I got no fucks left to give for the Sanders’ campaign.

  52. 52.

    Anne Laurie

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    In this household Korea is often referred to as Hankok(eh, that’s what it is in Korean).

    But if you’re buying hobby products online from Hankok, your language options tend to be Corea, English, and Japanese/Nippon…

  53. 53.

    Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class

    Here in the People’s Democratic Socialist Kenyan Shariah Republic of Louisville, aside from the local oddities of the smeared city name and “y’all”, any notion of hints of southern accent are rapidly dying out in favor of a combo ofof “media nowhere” and flat midwestern. That’s always been real easy for me to glide toward. Most people who I meet in other parts of the country cannot place me. I’m pretty good at it, though. My ears can pick up city, and if I’m talking to a Louisvillian, I’m good to picking the neighborhood where you grew up nearly down to zip code.

  54. 54.

    raven

    I can’t get over season 2 of Happy Valley

    But even that doesn’t really express Lancashire’s grandiose presence on the series. With piercing eyes and a defiant chin, she commands every scene she’s in, and yet, also fills the room with emotion and wonderfully dry humor. Catherine is practical, effective, and sharp, and even when she’s prickly, it’s easy to see it comes from the exhaustion of holding the world on her shoulders. There are not a lot of great roles for women of a certain age on TV, but Lancashire shines so incredibly brightly in this one, it gives hope that more might be written

  55. 55.

    Zinsky

    @Cacti: Right. I lived in Kansas City for almost ten years and the pronunciation of the state as Missouruh drove me crazy too. I used to ask people who used to say it like that, “How do you pronounce the name of the state that Senator Trent Lott is from – Mississippuh?”

    By the way, I have no idea what the opening tweets on this thread mean…

  56. 56.

    Aimai

    @? Martin: he needs to redirect it NOW. His supporters are becoming like the hysterical lady at the mccain rally. All but breaking down in tears of fear that the corrupt, two faced, republican mole from the fossil fuel industry is coming to destroy the future.

  57. 57.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @Cacti:

    9. North Carolina 1981-82

    I’ll agree this one is historically significant. Not so sure I can agree that any Four Corners team is “great”.

    (I think this was the year my mother decided she really, really hated Dean Smith.)

  58. 58.

    J R in WV

    @? Martin:

    If anyone thinks his “Feel the Bern” enthusiasts will actually work for other candidates, whether Hillary Clinton or down-ticket Senate and House races. Really?

    I’m dubious of most of them, although a good friend and neighbor is working hard for Senator Sanders and will no doubt work just as hard as anyone for Hillary Clinton come the time for that. And if he donates a sizable amount of money to congressional candidates that will be helpful, if he does. But he isn’t really a Democrat, though. At least it remains to be seen how much of a real Democrat he is.

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